Goodbye and get lost.

What  a fool i am .An sentimental and emotional fool taken in by hypnosis and what have you and listed a long list of reasons behind this mystery man's tonsure for nearly 3 hours in the morning today , [ it is an note book and too long to blog]conferring an halo around his head  and putting him on a pedestal !

That fellow is as vile and dirty as ever.I thank  narayana govinda and Rama for it.I never need be indebted to this  ruthless and fluent  liar who can  also make people caught in his trap to  lie or parrot his lies or emote as per his will.

It seems that he has secured the release of Madame sg from US courts.That blog of mine --'Kasi and father of nation' could have changed the heart of the jurors out there.

I remember some hypnosis being performed on me but i thought that it was something to do with my diary notes on my reactions to his tonsure and was on guard as not to blog it but lowered my guard regarding my reaction to news etc and even blogged it .why? Hypnosis for sure + a feeling of being lulled and carried away by the excitement of the voting day and the  arrival of my son .

When i realised that a deal had been cut after  reading an article in Hindu about Obama announcement of funds to UN project and immediately  went and spluttered over the net ,Mr A .patel came guiltily on TV [just like sg's earlier appearance]was  soft spoken but spoke so vehemently about communalism that its vehemence  took my  breath away .How very fanatic and communal is this man! And he had presided over our destinies for past 10 years!

No wonder that i felt revolted and wanted to vomit when i came face to face with my real torturer hiding behind sg and pf/kgb for the past 2 or more years.

Personally i am glad that i owe no debt to pf .Each and every act of his was clearly well planned in order to please that A..patel [who also bears a striking resemblance to this person] and to turf out mademoiselle.

So in the two year long of tug of war between us who was the winner?I ceded a lot of ground and  in the last  three mega battles this mystery man has won   in the latest  one by securing the release of sg .Ok  lost in one out of the 3 batles over the release of sg from us courts but  a heavy price had to be paid for it by the me as well as the nation  and even that can be turned around if the next govt removes all the shady apparatus of psychiatric control over me and  scraps that mischievous project of UN.So a win win situation. .

But in the ultimate clash of all involving heads of nations  that mega international project which i have named as Andaman triangle i battled all alone and valiantly in that extra ordinary  battle of wills and succeeded against all odds and imposed mine .I put the interest of the nation first[ benefit to large number of ordinary people ] motivated by my late son's kind nature and altruism making it my tribute to his memory whilst mystery man and co put the interest of few individuals selfish interests first.

 so i am clearly the winner.

I even forced the shadowy man a.Patel to appear on TV as well as the equally mysterious heroine of the triangle drama to make a sudden appearance on TV .By their unusual appearance they have admitted thier guilt at least to me as well  all those  sharp observers who can join the dots,and further established their guilt by taking defence behind  the bogey of communalism .

The mystery behind the tonsure of mystery man is solved .he did it for losing a bet

correction--30.4.14 10 am ---My concluding lines are on the assumptions that he is a hindu since only hindu's tonsure their head .but he told me once  that he loved acting and he has represented to me through out as a muslim.so i am still at sea .An actor can do any thing unconcerned about his religious prohibitions. Like that  hindi  song  invoking brahma,vishnu and mahesara sung by rafi ,for actors  in a film to perform.

secondly when i accosted him 23 .3 14 in my landing after i aborted the triangle and   invited him  in so as to clear my doubts about all the shady control he was exerting over me he maintained that he was a muslim and when i told him lightly i write only about hinduism just what is wrong in it,at which all his laughter vanished and  his face darkened and became so hard that his vehemence  was exact replica of  the scary  fanatism that Ahmad. patel spewed on tv .Would an hindu get so very angry at the mention of hinduism? only an christian or muslim who is very fanatic and communal would get that angry at religions opposed to theirs.And i got to know that for all his joking and social manner he actually despises me.

I have to assume that  he is a muslim and  it there fore explains the ruthlessness with which he treated me and my husband  and i naturally persume that he was deriving great pleasure in rubbing the nose of a devout and pious hindu brahmin the die hard modi fan by striving his every nerve to take emotional control of his wife,to the dirt and i am ashamed that i felt that momentry relief on seeing his tonsured head as it must be only a trick and most probably  employed  to turf out sg.

If he is a muslim i have lost trust in the secular nature of  that community  since he exhibited an hatred and anger  when he let that smiling mask slip ,the depth of which i  have never come across with anyone in my life and has taught me not to get too involved in them and be ever suspicious of their offer of friendship and neighbouriliness here after...If he was sent by a political party the utter arrogance and perversion and the scant regard for social norms of that party is unbelievable.

Note:   The last two paragraphs were clearly needled out of me by some intrested  political party  in the hope of  stirring communal feelings to reap electoral dividends in the general elections.No sooner did i write this i remember feeling ashamed of tarring every person of minority community in the same brush when i  switched on the tv to watch news discussions anchored by  a bright person  of  minority community  and  hearing the wise discussions of  panelists belonging to minority community .

I held back my urge to correct the above immediately then , as i was quite angry with politicians for needling me so and left it to them to handle any fall out .

I am correcting this today since it is better late than never, to remove any hurt and  hard feelings i may have caused..   ----20.7.14  4 pm Sunday.I wanted to delay this correction till i was on my own to dispel the suspicion of  shady persuasion ,since i was any how going to do correct this post  which had troubled my sense of fair play since i wrote it. i thought that there would  be no point in delaying it further when i am on the net reading my other blogs just because some one some where would think that i was cased .



.

Deal done.

Saw the news ticker on TV that US court has dismissed the case against sonia .g in the anti sikhriots case.

so what i had grasped and was ranting about was right.An deal has been struck between Cong and us and big brother has landed in Delhi.

That UN project which is ostensibly for changing the thought process and mind set of Indians .Is it possible to change 1ooo's of years of mental conditioning ?did they achieve such remarkable changes in Arab and African countries?The UN backed by the us knows that fact very well but doesn't the US  need an excuse to enter India and put a spoke in its development? cold blooded diplomacy for domination and control.

why am i feeling so much about this piece of news whilst it has been totally ignored by all and sundry? I was the most important pawn in this ostensibly liberal vs ill liberal warfare and probably the  middle class perception gleaned out of my blogs by  all those who refuse to acknowledge the fact  or turning a convenient blind eye to it that i am being constantly worked upon ,thirsting for such manna from heaven , the blog on kasi , can be  put  into mischievous use to tarnish the image of rightists , and it might have  turned the tide.

on the brighter side the vexatious problem is over ,at least for the time being.

It is my most sincere advise  that the next govt on assuming office must scrap that UN project.and if Sikhs pursue the case adapt the typical Hindu attitude of allowing the workings of karma to take its  natural course.One reaps what one sows.That is allow Sonia.g to face the consequences of not condemning but of condoning her party men's role [if Cong has  evidence to prove otherwise it can be tendered in that court]in Sikh riots.
Put a full stop to this emotional blackmail which jeopedrised lives and tried to stall the country's development and also has the potential to do so in future.

written on 29.4.14  9 am 

Sister cities. from my diary.28.4.14 6am

Read the news yesterday in Hindu that obama  along with japan was funding UN project on women protection in new Delhi.
After spending  a very restless night it  dawned upon me that a deal has has been cut with Obama and i am connecting it to me and sg's ,most probably that tonsure business has or will secure sg's  release from us courts clutches and allow the Americans in

bjp wouldn't mind since they love to ally with the us and are pragmatic [tho it involves the torture and exploiting my totally helpless position under this psychiatric control]that this vexatious issue is solved  or going to be solved and accept Obama munificence whole heartedly

Ah!Modi put a great show on oppression of women on TV a few days back .Wow!That could have clinched the deal.
I am not for us or un's stealthy intervention into India via delhi  and am totally ashamed that i fell into the elaborate trap set by Cong, bjp and toi and let them in .If so it was under trickery and my complete isolation from social contacts and rigid control over every second and every space of my life.I was quite taken aback when modi said on that show that he wouldn't mind anyone reading even his thoughts,for the same does not go for me having been brought up in  a manner that respects one's privacy.well he is in politics and a public figure  and i am not .May be that he is really that confident or has the skill to project a clean image.

Maybe bjp wants to offset china's influence on Maoists  etc but even then it is shameful to depend on a foreign power or allow them to do the job the Indian state has and owes to its people.
Just for what are all these people casting their votes?some cash& TV or fridge? No it is something more , for security, a good living as a Indian/bharatwasi with self respect.

Really if that tonsure piece is used to secure release through me and which i had thought i had successfully  guarded against by  deciding not to  blog about  it till may 21 ,as  i was nicely tricked into thinking that my diary no longer counted as elections have commenced [and i also went a reported to EC --a joke was made of it by all--]and only my blogging would.i have tripped and feel sorry for all those young fans of mine in the Internet as also the people of India.

I wanted very much to resist till the next pm took over so that ,if that pm strikes a deal as his party stands for India first they would have to secure a better deal from us in this sg issue which would benefit the whole of India in a open open manner.[though this issue could be submerged within]if they wanted to secure sg's release and maintain the 'prestige and honour 'of a political leader.I also resisted the strong temptation to clear my name sullied by rumours that i am a woman of easy virtue when my instant reaction was the relief i felt that i had no baser attractions ,since i reasoned since a slur has already been cast on it by politicians the only tool in thier hands against me as well as any woman a man cannot get to submit and is secretly in awe of , which is itself against their own ego ,i can bear it for another month for the sake of country's prosperity.  

The sudden 'mottai ' of pf/kgb was a brilliant move .no doubt as it elicited the exact reaction hoped for that on my seeing it i would feel a flash of relief that typifies a conservative illiberal Hindu woman whose very private moments had been so boldly  invaded wasn't a Muslim,but  a Hindu and i felt it and wrote it Further i show cased my illiberality by viewing my tormentor /rapist etc as a brother in that instant reaction, an elder one who often tonsure his head in tirupati after fulfilling his vow . Had i been a true liberal i ought to have hated him for what he did and not exhibit even that pinch of relief at his religious identity .second i ought to have accepted my interest in him sexually and not give it a platonic relationship.That is what true liberals would ,but i didn't and my relief that i didn't feel any such attraction made me doubly ill liberal , I provided an excellent proof of indian woman's illiberality to us courts to act upon .

On realising this i corrected it saying that i shouldn't be taken as the sample example of Indian women's ill liberality and it would be unfair to scores of other liberal women in India.

I wanted the cake and also eat it .Having secured the nuclear deal by holding out that penultimate week i also was greedily hoping to secure a very good deal for India as a whole from us if bjp assumes power and puts this  emotional evidence of tonsure to use and give them the choice to use it when i blog this tonsure piece after may 21st .
of course the politicians will be laughing their heads off at my temerity to play power politics just by writing and not winning even a single vote whilst they are on it with seriousness.The fact is i was not going to use the power for myself and i never asked or it and after being conferred with i was going to be doubly sure that i would use it to benefit of my country as a whole and in a open manner.

I thought that i had held on but Obama announcement in japan has shown that i haven't.
The politicians have done me in.Enjoy India! All the best when you go out and vote trustingly.i Voted for nota.

Your outgoing pm and beloved' annai sonia t'he lady bountiful have effected a mini partition as they leave and your ,'India first 'sentinels have stood guard .

Maybe the pm was nostalgic about his partition days and wanted a reenactment and annai being a true  liberal  with the notion of countries without borders seeped deep within couldn't care less about the fate of Delhi and Indian security .Wow her stock must have risen in international arena and so has bjp's liberal image.
It was the bjp under s. sushma who were in the forefront of spearheading women's harassment [which could Be political .]So were right libs journos cum politicos like k.gupta and so on .And modi took the cake with his sivaji ganesan like performance on TV with tears filling his eyes and voice choking with emotion  at the news of women being harassed  all over India after sg  guiltily/ungratefully spilled the beans on TV  after that aborted Andaman triangle plot [aborted by me],by castigating the very party under the leadership of that illiberal brute was helping her ,since as far back as Nov DEC 2013 itself !Hence the vociferous reaction by sandeep b.in defence of modi. I was totally forgotten or brushed under the carpet  in  this mega political cum diplomatic drama.
Are the courts in us or the law makers so stupid to act on a emotional evidence collected by deliberate provocation by both major political parties of India  even if i keep on writing and blogging about how they are extracted?Nothing but manufactured confessions in police custody in a sort of solitary confinement. Is this blocked?or those parts that reveal the truth are blocked whilst the rest isn't?I also realised that my reaction was purely a Stockholm syndrome and also wrote it.

That woman will beat Helen of troy hollow.

On the brighter side of Andaman triangle Putin got Crimea and india got nuclear energy whilst Obama has entered Ukraine successfully  to contain Russia through that Geneva accord and the world can enjoy China's squirming and failing to comfort  their citizens by not being to unravel the mystery of mh 370 for all its super power claims. .i have emerged from this triangle alive though i couldn't care less but to that plane load of innocent passengers to be alive, did matter.

I suppose i am reacting typically like an commie or the rss since this UN deal would be a good gift to bjp--1.solving sg's problem their dear pal
2.A step forward in alliance with their natural ally ,the us in  future .


But again New delhi  is not kiev that its  keys  be so liberally handed over to washington


Relevant Excerpts from my diary.
19.4.14 Saturday

 night glanced down and saw an unbelievable comic sight . pf/kgb  had tonsured his head that means his penance has been fulfilled.was curious to know as to what he achieved so met him on the landing.the same innocent act and said he had gone to mecca for  umrah and was not here for 15 days.clearly lying.i saw him just 2 days back with all his crop. i mentioned it but no use.only denial.so came back and went hurriedly through the papers.did he get his imp mission --sg's release .no news.

yesterday or day before i exonerated him saying he was successful in both episodes viz  making me parrot but since it was a lie and not what i thought and felt to be  truthful so i kept correcting it.
so that must be the cause of his mottai.freak. liar.thank god also.it is ill liberal conserv,communal but i couldn't have stomached it if he was a Muslim it was al humiliation but this makes it a bit more bearable.
so i gave my 2 year long tormentor a god conduct cert the fact that it meant so much to him is itself my revenge .
The fact that his kudumi was in my hands at the end whilst he was always the one who had nearly completely controlled my life ,environ etc is sweet revenge which i ought to havae extended a bit further to keep him on tenterhooks strange unfair encounter.whilst he knew everything about me i do not know anything about this mystery man.a weird crazy, humiliating chapter in my life.

20.4.14 sunday  6 am

Just why was this clearance cert so im p to this ---

1. for self aggrandisement--a promotion-very selfish motive
2.to restore reputation amongst peers in here if he is a pvt practitioner
3.to give true picture of the institute-viz-cbi or restore its reputation in the eyes of the world since this is an in natl diary?

To me the 3 rd reasoning and option is more acceptable .the first 2,not.he presented himself to me as atheist but even then if he has prayed and fulfilled his vow --in a temple[which one?]and if it was for the third option ,it is OK with me.that apart from me ,in this whole sordid episode -the final one there is another person who has put his nation first that is not lower its image, abilities of the ins ti of our country in the eyes of the world.

21.4.14 The news that sg cancelled her election caught my eyes plus that she was star campaigner for Cong as Muslims identify with her and not with rg and has a relapse of her mysterious illness.
i felt imme that it was to do with my reaction to pf's tonsure.
so how is this connected to sg?

1. if i am the model citizen it means i prefer to be humiliated by a Hindu party like bjp than a mus party [under her] like Cong--pol speaking
2. or if she was identifying herself with me -some what a liberal outwardly she had a jolt that inside at core i am a conservative Hindu who cannot and will not cross the dividing line.[could be true --saw AP patel her poli adviser on TV today---27.4.14,he looks exactly like pf , only older ]

22.4.14.
woke up early in morn .lay on bed and heard hanuman chalisa sung beautifully by some man.it was also easy to understand it moved me.Rama has that effect--on emotions[does any one require more evidence than this regarding my ill liberality as is understood in here?].and gita is for the intellect.

got out of bed feeling sorry for sg .if she is suffering from ocd and is obssesed with me it is beyond her control.i spose she wanted to convert my deep Hindu beliefs.an unwanted obsession.that explains the brain washing techniques.but my instant reaction to pf's tonsure that i forgave him for that instant for him being a Hindu only must have broken her illusions.but my heart was already broken way back when vidat was taken down these very steps on a pall there is no turning back------
Relief he is a Hindu.Relief that i saw him only as a brother and nothing more.Relief that just like that brother [ govt servant retd] who stood by me in my darkest hour he was also standing by me .

23.4.14 6 pm
Parrakai has made me cry after a long time.after writing reams of analysis relaxed at savasan then it suddenly struck me that he is in cbi ,the pet of cong he was registering his protest by tonsuring his head [he could done it later] at the shabby treatment given to me by politicians and rewarding me for my determination to hold out ironically against his pressure tactics,for the sake of the country and people.
some how i couldn't this kindness and it touched me so much that i had a good cry.no wonder that he reminded me of my brother who consoled me when i was totally isolated and ignored by my hubs family when vidat died.
funny that i could bear every humiliation he heaped upon me but not this human gesture.

24.4.14 6 am

My flood of tear is nothing but result of stockholm syndrome .Cong offered  a carrot to douse ill will of powerful poli up north specially in sensitive bihar because of the thimir [arrogance] of its own in its hey days-politics
2. and yet again continuing attempts to free sita from clutches of ravana in us.

emotional blackmail.
To those who masterminded Andaman triangle this would be child's play.to use vidats favourite phrase--jujupi.
25.4.14--9am wrote about reaction to modi's cavalcade in kasi[i have blogged it]

12 pm .----Since kgb is still hanging around it means he still has a mission to complete viz rescue sg .If i blog the above 2 pieces 21and 23 and today's that of even mentioning his tonsure who ever he is ,which is my obssesion with his personal whim she may be released .But i am reluctant and hesitant to blog [i think writing in diary no longer counts with nancy removed]coz i have no idea as to what the stakes are and what is the deal?And that ukraine is still smouldering.
Having held out then why not hold out till 16 and play it safe? why boast over myself in the net so as to clear my name and establish my sati savithri image? when such gloating can boomerang and give emotional evidence which those lib Americans jurors will drool over ?
3.20.pm
I am cleraly expected [pressurised] to blog about the greatest surprise in past 2 yeras in my life that of tonsuring of kgb/pf .Why?
1. If he is in govt to restore its secular image
2.If he has been put by bjp to assure the delusional rights that the person they put to control me is a hindu and thus douse any hard feelings.would any hindu tolerate one of thier woman being put under the  direct and total control of  a muslim man and his family specially after the rise of my stock amongst all those hindus  who would have appreciated my determination to hold out for the sake of the country to secure that nuclear energy deal ,an living example of india first ?
3. If he has been put by cong/sg/nac +bjp etc and if he is a muslim to show that some muslims are liberal enough to tonsure thier head and show me as the conservative of the two.
no idea except that i have to blog about it and i am not going to for some days.
If he is realy a hindu and if he realy wants me to blog my reactions so as to mellow and assuage any tough hindus heart he has to ask me and i will only if there is no under hand deal with us.Till then i won't mention it.

4.i donot know who he is .Does he exist at all? He is not supposed to exist. I am the one who is delusional right?Ask my husband he'll tell every one  that he is a useless mus neighbour. My hub is sane man .Not me


All  above excerpts from my diary barring 24,4,14  are the  deliberately manufactured  emotional evidence needed to abrogate that law in us and i think it has been used forthwith as the munificence of Obama to UN project in Delhi suggests .24.4.14.is the correct analysis and if both parties have taken out pieces of emotional evidence from my diary  or if they take it to secure release, they  are once again clearly using an situation deliberately created by themselves.This will never stand the test in a proper court of law.It is against the principles of natural justice which i was taught in law school .one cannot take advantage of one's own wrong doings.

i am sure 100% that the mysterious disappearance of 370 has to do with the mysterious illness of sonia .g .i feel thoroughly ashamed that people of our country has put  such a person in power who hasnt shown even a drop of remorse except for that sudden guilt ridden appearance on tv which was more as a defence .And she is going about her election works gaily. whilst when i allow myself to make a connection between me  the blogger,sg  and that plane i stop short in my tracks and feel a knife twist within me and  i shake my head  in regret.

In which world is she?Does she  think and hallucinate that i am jesus christ who has to bear  the cross for her every time she bloodies her hands.?

Mischievous altruism.

This is an reaction to article in Hindu paper today -27.4.14 which conveyed the information that obama and pm of japan will be contributing to the U.N 's Women's safe city programme which is an endeavour to protect women world wide in some select cities of which New Delhi is also one such.
The instant questions  that arise  in me are--why should the American president or a Japanese pm provide for the safety and security for an  indian women in Indian soil?How is this being allowed?Since this tantamounts to surrendering the most important right and duty of a sovereign state ,that of maintenance of law and order.

Protection of women from male marauders in public places is clearly a law and order problem .This is  the job of security forces viz police.
If UN is going to take up the job of protecting women in Delhi it would mean that the police in Delhi would be in its pocket and in directly in us'sand japan as they would be the chief donors of this project viz paying Delhi police to do the job.which would mean that Delhi police would be serving UN, US  and japan and not India or the govt at Delhi.
This is a weird and indigestible scenario and it is a blatant intrusion  stealthily into our sovereignty and that makes me see red.

Is there an UN project for protection of school children from being gunned down in the us? If so is India contributing to it?

Is pm and foreign  minister aware of this mischievous project? Have their somnolence reached such  a point that they couldn't care less? Is this partitioning off Delhi  to UN and co his parting gift to the nation?

If this is allowed Delhi would no longer be a union territory of India but would become union territory of UN.
I read on the net that sexual harassment cases in India are constantly making it to prime time viewing in European countries.A German blogger maria firth has observed this and is quite perplexed at this on going media circus.in which only cases from India are constantly reported whilst the fact that such harassment's etc are also common in other parts of world even the western world.

Is this an deliberate attempt by us and its allies to create an emergency like situation through the media and then quietly slip into democracies like ours where open force cannot be used, and  then slowly and steadily take control ? chipping away Indian sovereignty bit by bit?

To me it clearly appears so. This project is nothing but a back room control of Delhi the capitol city of India in the garb of altruism. 

Kasi and father of the nation.

Modi's joyous  cavalcade in Varnasi/kasi yesterday  en route to filing his nomination for contesting the Loksabha election s brought to my mind  and to my lips the Hindi film song and its picturistion that always sends me into raptures and taking me back to the ancient dharmic days  ,whenever i see it or hear that song.even now That song which starts with following invocation--Gurur Brahma gurur Vishnu gurur devo maheswra  and each sentence ending with 'yeh bharat desh he mera ',sung with great feeling by Mohammad Rafi.I sang it aloud as i watched the parade.

Can anyone take Kasi out of a Hindu?

And it immediately struck me as to why mentioning Hindu gods has become an anathema a even amongst Hindus whilst that Muslim singer has mentioned them and sung in their praise without any inhibitions and that song never fails to stir me.He would have sung it 50 years back.

Some how that cavalcade reminded me of the freedom movt.The atmosphere was electric and vibrated with the hope of a new dawn It reminded me of the euphoria my grand father would have felt on Independence day and his impatience to chart a new course for India.

Evening watched a discussion on ndtv on the symbolism of modi garlanding statues of only Hindu icons viz political leaders belonging  to freedom movt  in the midst of which swapan who is said to articulate rights viewpoints interjected to correct the anchor that Ambedkar was not a Hindu icon.
This made my hackles rise up .I know that ambedkar is the greatest hero of Sc's and i consider Sc's as hindus therefore he is a Hindu icon.

I had the same reaction, poured out in this blog when a journo of first post when he sliced away Sc's and Dravidian's from 'mainstream hindus'.A typical liberal view point

I suppose it is precisely for such reactions that libs get offended by my views .whilst swapan, kanchan ,for all thier rightist leanings is always welcome in their circle with reaction similar to them.But such rightists will not be able to influence the real rightists in the manner in which i may be able to since i am the typical, typical right with no inhibitions or guilt about it .

An melodramatic drama was enacted by libs to show case my conservativeness not due to any humanitarian consideration but purely due to political reasons as well as selfish reasons --the battle for the votes and for prestige.I ll mention it later say after 21 may dipping into my diary then . once bitten twice shy.

As i entered the natesan park my loud conversation with my hub venk came to my mind.That it was how very  strange and very toxic is this periyar movt that honours a man for his tireless anti brahmin activism by installing his statue in a park named after him whilst it was these very Brahmin's who fought for freedom and enabled them to make  a rich pickings .Whilst entire country was fighting against British this group was busy fighting for freedom from Brahmin's!

But there are some very extraordinarily courageous non Brahmin's tamilians who have fought against the British for freedom like VOC pillai  --an extremist of Cong and several others  who were how ever unable to influence the vast majority of tamilians in the manner in which periyar and his disciples have.

The notice board on the park read  ' Do not think you are too small to make a difference .be shut in a small room with a mosquito'--an African proverb --again handiwork of libs

Only a person with warm blood flowing will attract a mosquito , not a corpse.which means a person with emotions .The libs are clearly under the delusion that if they tweak my thought process i would make a difference. that is if i am a corpse .
It is my instant reactions of which i am not ashamed of unless i ruminate too much on it which could make a difference.
It is precisely that i am a conservative in a lot of things i can influence the conservatives in certain areas  in the manner in which lib would love to but cannot since their greed is for the entire area,which is totalitarianism.
so if some libs are crowing over their victory of taming me and using me as a tool to chasten rightists [--our conversations can be heard and bought by media  managing modi 's campaign- symbolism in Varanasi --garlanding m.malava an extremist of cong like voc, referring to mirza in blog like  my reference to rafi earlier in the day,] they have to swallow the indigestible ,their defeat at their attempts to convert me  that was show cased in latest drama which i will blog later and realise that it is for their own good or whom they represent that i be allowed to be as i am and remain the conservative if the delusional emotional rights --[from thier view point--of whom they are so revolted of and despise ]continue to repose trust in me and not feel betrayed by me whom i guess they instinctively indentify with .

I have to be myself and not somebody else if the rights-- the ill liberals, patriotic emotionals , harking back to past glories of Hindus so much like me , have to trust me.Didn't i redeem that trust reposed in me that terrible terrible week before elections commenced? 

And a part of my life has been shaped by my mother and her father who were influenced by M.K..ghandhi

.And we all know what he stands for --truth and non violence and practised the dictum 'means justify ends and ends do not justify means' --A very ill liberal view ,right? But he is considered  by all as the father of this nation .


written on 25.4.14. 9 am

Observation of the day.

Excessive liberalism is also conservatism or ill liberalism

The temptress.

The similarity of two episodes of dk/sg ,has struck me.
In both cases Cong was the villain  nay the temptress .

In the fractured Delhi verdict it dangled the carrot of cm post to aravind .k and put him in a dilemma.
To me  it was very clear that he should never have accepted support after waging a much publicised war against corruption at that very same party .Since he did ,he lost the halo in my eyes that very instant.But when i enquired of few youths ,they didn't him mind taking support but frowned upon him for not discharging his cm duties in a proper and effective manner.

In the last week of second episode , i am just guessing , that Cong may have dangled the carrot of liberal makeover to modi /bjp in the eyes of international audiences, that is if he supported italy ki beti --foreigner as against his own much publicised nation first development card when he must have known about that energy deal, that to by torturing a Hindu woman ,he could rise in the eyes f the perverted national and  inter national liberals ,who would have loved the torture of a woman belonging to the conservative brahmin caste  despised by them, would have to undergo to bail out a liberal of a minority class and get rid of fascist , illiberal tag in one go .Or it could also another reason like getting rid of this vexatious problem before he and bjp assume office.Because of the inferiority complex  and diffidence [the result of mocking by supercilious left for decades]that people with rss background seem to feel when in politics and lap up any certificates of good conduct avidly, from international community ,i am guessing that it is the former.

The fact that others in bjp were in this too did not matter to me as much as it did regarding modi,since i piped along with what he said in public like nation first etc,.He fell before my idealistic eyes

Since the entire Andaman triangle is shrouded in mystery as well as bjp's role in it unlike the publicityAK's dilemma  received ,this will go unnoticed ,except for me and those few who are into this.

Except for all those youths who know me personally other large swathe would be bothered only if he fails to deliver on his promises .For this he needs full majority and has to win by landslide victories in both constituencies so as to stamp his authority within and without.If not he must exercise extra ordinary control so as not to compromise on all those basic principles he stands for or projects that he stands for .

Nearly all polpundits are observing this .What makes mine different is that i actually was in the thick of the action and speaking from real experience i under went in  the arena.

In both episodes  i was an important clog .Strange that it was i who was amongst the very few who grasped Ak's and modi's popularity due to my accidental foray into the net which tallied with my family 's admiratio n,over ground [not by net] before others woke up .And i also played a role ,forcibly thrust on me by Cong and some in bjp ,in their attempts to dislodge the halo around my two discoveries, persona!

I donot want a halo around me for somehow weathering the non stop application of Reid technique for 9 days in a more r less solitary confinement by the govt and party , as i am a lone individual without any pulls or pressures  viz party, funds,ambitions of party members etc,that the other two would definitely have .

Since i have suffered personally , roasted alive maximum in both episodes as well in countless before  i hope that modi gets a clear majority so that it gives him the confidence to govern in a straight forward and clean manner,so that i may be spared of this roasting,specially in foreign affairs..

written on -19.4.14. 8.30.am

On the wrong side of power and authority.

The Cong govt needs to be indebted to me for helping them demit office with a good ending to their PMs most important project that of facilitating nuclear energy.But they are so besotted with their chief  and too sunk in despondency to recognise ,what a turn coat who refused to be a sycophant has done for their image.A big boost.

Modi who is from rss stable whose members  take extreme pride in their patriotism and the  undying loyalty they profess for our motherland, must have been chastened at the way an woman that to belonging to a meek brahmin caste , who is also originally from cong[original] stable whom he always looked down upon,attacked on all sides [also his party] stood up for the cause of the nation against all odds, would have been shaken .At least momentarily.

Maybe those last two oaths of the 3 oaths he took do reflect that which i actually put in practise last month and particularly in te penultimate week.

If at all ,my stock could have risen only amongst in those sections of bjp and sang parivar that firmly believes in nation first and politics only next and as well as all those independent observers who are appalled by hte shabby treatment meted to me for daring to question the policies of the Cong/sg's pet schemes  when it was in the height of its power and for sticking stubbornly to my right of freedom of right to express my views in public affairs and Hinduism.

Now that in all probability bjp will form the govt ,i have started picking up fights with them and modi as their role was unraveled to me only recently.

Is it my fate to be on the wrong side of power?

But of one thing i am very sure ,since i have no quarrel with the policies of bjp [they are all nearly identical to mine] no friction will rise on that matter. It may arise only if bjp slips and if i am not suitably diverted by my social life by then, to take notice of it .

written on ---19.4.14 5.30.am

Reaction to an article on net.

Read Sandeep . b, a fanatic fan of modi on net about Sonia.g's sudden appearance on TV. a few days back .His vehemence took my breath away.His grouses a long list , the usual and her inability to take criticisms.
His taking a very strong exception to SG 's appearance on TV reminded me of the way he castigated her few years back for sending 3 cabinet ministers of 3 different faiths to Gujarat before  its assembly elections  no sooner did i blog some crazy stuff about Amar, Akbar and Antony .

This time to when i wrote about BJP' s supportive  role in Andaman triangle in a note book on 14.4.14 she instantly appeared on TV in the evening  within a short period of my writing,looking teary .I found the connection  and so did sandeep as well as all those sharp political minds between my homilies and Sg' reactions
On the face of it he is objecting to her hinting darkly at the communal forces that are going to overrun India which according to him she could have best thundered in a rally as against in a tv ,which  has far more reach.

Is he upset that she spoilt bjp/modis' image ? Yes.

I think that he is also upset at her reaction to my blog and now my writings in my house in a note book.

To any one even to me her appearance on TV is her party's affairs and well within her right to do so.

But to him it is upsetting because by reacting vehemently to an ordinary blogger she is conferring undue importance and recognition on me [which she already has ]and world will definitely look at my writings with very keen interest if she reacts to them.

He /bjp clearly donot like this .Frankly neither do i.This uncalled for obsession with me has made a mess out of my life .It has only caused misery and no joy or elevation either spiritually or materially.

Further it would also mean that she is admitting her role/guilt in the triangle in which she put self above nation as well as making a major opposition party to participate in  it by making them--bjp delay the release of the election manifesto.The question he is raising is would any major political party  in the world which is in cusp of victory be thus accomodative, foregoing its image  and prestige for the sake of leader of a rival political party?? To me it is a shameful that bjp bent thus.But probably he is saying Madame show some gratitude.

He is also saying madame behave like suave politician and not like a vindictive ,querulous and guilt ridden house wife.
Further ,Madame because of your inexplicable obssesion /aversion/revulsion to this useless, lethargic, pigheaded woman-me  --a non entity you have already brought worlds attention on her .'Now don't go spilling the beans and give the game away and spoil the image of my hero modi and the party he leads'.
She did.By her immediate appearance ,confirming the role of bjp in that sordid affair.

The conclusion i have derived is---Sandeep .b whom i always liked and admired for his straight forwardness and courage [though i didn't always agree with his views] could give a damn to my gross exploitation and is closing ranks with the cosy club of journos' and politicians  which he actually indicated to me in person  in that book launch of his by feigning total ignorance of my presence in the net  .

written on  --18.4.14 6.45 pm

Mysticism and politicians .

I was definetly tried to be scared out of my wits in june 2012 for 2 reasons
1.For encouraging anna movt and then later Aravind .k with my blogs
2.And to cut short my superstitious fans ,probably in all parties specially in  bjp and sang who were lapping in my mysticism .
My mystical experiences are the sum total of my knowledge of history, observation of creative as well as destrutive powers of nature ,my imagination which can conjure up visions of avatars, saints, and acharyas when i visit ancient temples or sacred spots, an imagination i am in very much in  need of to act as self defensive mechanism to try and digest and try  to overcome the sudden break of nearly all  certitudes in my life.

I realise that political partieswant the cake and also eat it.They want to maintain me as a middleclass honest blogger to secure concesions or influence foreign policy but at the same time do not want me to go off in my mystical trips as that may influence the superstitious amongst them .

My suggestion --To remove my influence over the superstitious hindus  reward me with a a very fat cheque say 50 crores in  a grand ceremony for my servises to hinduism.This will not only keep me busy hunting for a good house in a good neighbourhood away from this slum  but also remove the ascetic halo around my head .i feel that other methods ,that of showing me as unchaste woman ,uncouth and   unsocial reeling under delusions and not practising the usual rituals of hinduism fully,a hindu more in substance,  have not worked fully well .And  the new secular bjp and new communal  cong need not fear my archaic influences on its archaic members .  .

But if i am publicly rewarded for my tenacious and altruistic servises to hinduism --translations of hyms, sanskrit sloka s,pilgrimage diary etc then my impartial middle class preception will hold no water with international audiences.

They are clearly caught between the devil and the deep sea.

My advise--Both parties must develop confidence to tackle problems in a straight forward manner.

Not such a ill liberal society.

Why didnt my writings in both episodes of Dev.k/sg not work?
I corrected both of them
In the first episode i was made to write about humiliations which a mentally weak person is supposed to face in our society.I corrected it coz the humiliations i faced were deliberately manufactured and the real truth is that neither any stranger nor any neighbour will band together or on their own taunt or mock a middle aged woman or any such persons. suffering from mental and emotional illness.We are not such an illiberal society or that cruel.

In the second episode my view regarding crevicial cancer was extracted  but i corrected it because deep inside though i have no factual knowledge just inferenes from net users and news i felt this is not the ailment that sg is suffering from and i had to tell the truth of what i perceived and not lie .I felt that she was  suffering from pshychiatric problems and as pointed above no one in india is going to humiliate or mock her for that.

A rare gift.

Realised my rare gift  which causes fear in politicians .Mystisim and parpshycology on one side of my personality and on the other altruism.
An altruism that is truly altruistic ,which expects nothing in return.A rare gift of nature.

O.K now let me apply this to politics and how this nature of mine is troubling them.
If i am mystic ,viewing leaves, seasons etc from a spiritual cum hindu point of view i have to write it and then blog it to share this experience.This sharing is pure altruism that is feel that i am enriching hinduism, spiritualism with my insight.It is not in the least bit political but those reeling in politics would grab it and make use of it .As far as i know it is definetly not been put  for any violent purposes.So my, mystism may  attract some sections in bjp causing a party wanting to turn fully liberal and secular some embarrasment.But my altruism is for hinduism only.

Similarily my quest into para pshycolgy has altruism as the result.And i applied this in the latest370+sg+n.energy deal+crimea issue  guarding against guilt trap and my natural empathy that was strirred to the maximum by those acting under directions , specially in the last week before elections ,exercising an inhumanely impossible control over myself when i realised that if i held on there could be the chance of many of my country people even those cheap and low class who were specially deployed to humiliate me either by paying them money or stirring up their geniune political hostilities  for past two years s,even if i may not benifit but others would ,with power vested in me in that week.
Again altruism and this has affected the Congress party Its supremo couldnot get relief.
so it is this squlaity of mine which is affecting politicians of both parties and that explains them coming together to distract me from enjoying the beauties of nature and alterntivelty encourage me from embarking on long self anlysis as per thier needs.
Can anyone control creation?

I have this crazy rare and unusual nature .Can politicians prevent rain from falling?,

written on 12.4.14.  1.15.pm.

Fire doused and a million lives ignited.

The news that Russia and US and EU have entered into a peace deal over the Ukrainian issue yesterday is great.Good news!
Phew! My pawning days in this issue has come to an end.

Many a thanks to the bright and plucky president of Russia --Putin. for granting and inking the nuclear energy deal with India.A lion hearted gesture.
                                                                                                             I also applaud his courage and his efforts to douse the hostilities  .

Conjectures--
1. Did he or his advisers  read my blog on the role of opposition in the Andaman triangle and deduced the foll--
a.That bjp will win  this elections and form the govt.This is also what opinion polls  say and also i feel so.

b.That bjp will mostly align with US to contain china  in straight forward deals as also under hand deals till the vexatious issue of sg's entry into US, since they stalled the release of their election manifesto an unheard of event since bjp is known for good organisation and time consciousness , is not settled once and for all and this may have dampened any hope he harboured about India's continued neutrality.

2. The cnn achor on tv yesterday night commented that Putin sounded philosophical after a sudden change in his tough stand and that got me thinking with mind reeling in giddiness whether Putin read and digested my blog on' Karma quickened'?

Ps.I haven't lowered my guard as politicians may still find some other deal .Hope US doesnt insist on my views on indian society
written at 6.30 am --18.4.14

doubly blessed.

Modi was just  a cm  of another state .By constantly attacking him through various means  the chief of which was  the media he became larger than life and is now on every one's lips.

Aravind.k was just an agitator .But by making  cabinet ministers  fawn upon and giving him too much importance and now he is out there giving a stiff  fight.

Me--Sujata was just a blogger -comments would have sufficed to keep me engaged  .By putting up a grand show of public hounding a nobody suddenly became a somebody.If pf is cbi just which middle class household will not be awe struck that such a premier institution's agent has been put behind one of their own who is not deep into politics?And such a somebody as to catch the worlds attention when ever i start writing in a note book!

I am doubly blessed . The first two attained popularity only due to Congress's untiring efforts and fear and i attained popularity due both,Congress's as well as bjps untiring efforts and  fears..

written on 16.4.14     4 pm 

My role in indo us diplomacy.

Went through the two pieces written in my diary  that US admn was betting its entire diplomacy  with india upon when nancy powell was the ambassdor to india to find out how it could have helped US and s.g
.
The first one was written on 20 .12.13 which i have blogged earlier and the other constitute the diary writings on 14,15,and 16 th of march.Both were to be used to provide proof of conservativeness or illiberality of indian society towards people afflicted by mental illness and unusual cancer--crevicial.so that the harsh and arcahic laws under which sonia .g was to be prosecuted could be struck down by jurors and thus facilitate her entry into the US for whatever illness she was getting treated for  over there.

That first piece was the culmination of series of pieces where i make constant references to hostile stares, ridicule and humiliations  an solid proof of the illiberality of indian society towards those who are mentally weak or ill.Simply put-madness..since april 2012 when pf started his explosive sound treatment along with making every person i came across to be always hostile and on guard with me around though till such time i was only a just another glum woman ,and forced me to write it diverting me succesfully from my inquiry into hinduism and observations on public and policy matters and projected me as one who had completely lost it. That piece failed because i mentioned Rahul.g .so connection to cong .that is he and his party were taking advantage of a situation created by them .manufactured evidence which is bound to be rejected by any court

Have to hand it to politicians and their minions they never say die.

First they showed me as a unreliable nut so that anna, and co and not so moderate rights got scared and were repulsed of me.

Second use the same theme to turf out their mentally stricken leader by showing how these brown louts would react if they knew of her avoved ailment  .mock and laugh by projecting me as one similarily placed . that route also failed  forgetting basic principle of jurisprudence.that one cannot make use of one's own creation of a situation and crime. .
                                                                                                                            the third route was a middle class preception of her mysterious cancer.Suddenly i was made to regain my mental balance in US  eyes and came to be projected as a sane and honest middle class blogger.In my 14,15 and 16 th diary writings i did give it .[ since it is very many pages long i am not blogging it for now]Again an illiberal view.But by listing the basis of my assumptions i exihibited my legal training which an ordinary house wife should not posses.i listed  them because i was pressurised to write something which i felt was not the actual truth of the state of illness of sg  .My doubts regarding facts led to loss of evidentry value..
Fourth route was to either make me list all illliberalities in indian society or just blog my middle class preception of her illnesss.This was to be in that last week 31.3.14--9.4.14. since i had resolved not to write or blog that route also failed.

written on 14.4.14  7.30am



-

Points of humiliations since when iwas sought to be controlled in my house and in temples

1.Smearing what smelt and looked like human feaces in the insides of my fridge and  on family photos specially on my late son's photos..
2.Entering the house when we are asleep and littering places with pigeons feathers, toilet paper,dropping dead rats in washing machine and knocking down my late son's photo.
3.making the curd left to ferment at night to turn viscous and goey  making it appear like that of that  male excretions ..
4.Tampering with food made in shraddha ceremonies.

Temples
1. Banging chadari [feet of narayana embossed in a crown] forcefully on my head.dunking  the sacred theertham viz holy water with rude force into the palm and spill it all over.So of late i have stopped taking these two in temples i visit .
2. Making strangers slip in and stand inbetween me and my husbamd  stubbornly when we perform arcahanas as  a couple.
3.

The mysterious role of the opposition in the Andaman triangle.

I have this very strong feeling that the bjp delayed the release of its manifesto till 7 th of April so as to give pf/charlie/ KGB /cbi/ib/raw/nia/doc etc ,who is probably a govt servant to put the pshycological pressure upon me to cough out my views on the conservativeness of Indian society or publish the my middle class  preception on Sonia .G's mysterious illness , before the elections commenced to bail Sg out.

Then it would mean that the message doing the rounds in the net that the Delhi coterie of politicians are very thick with one another is correct. If not  they could have easily telephoned me or even called me in and brief me when i pass by their office nearly daily ,since i am a member of bjp.to warn me not to write anything in my international diary or blog any give away piece for one week viz 31.3.14.-7.1.14 ,if they really had the nations interest at heart , since by  that week Russia had already committed to accept the new clause in the nuclear reactors treaty and was waiting ,only for it to be inked.They kept quiet, allowing the pf and co to build the pressures in me.
What is more indigestible is that of Modi being a party to this decision .It would be even more shocking if it turned out that he may have also initiated this.Doesn't he often speak with conviction to all those young , innocent , trusting and aspiring youth thronging his election rallies that he would always put the nation first?
That week he had a chance to put in practise his statesman like dictum .All he needed to do was to ring me up [ through his pa etc] and caution me not to write.But neither he nor bjp did that.

If only those aspiring youths with stars in their eyes who have reposed so much trust in him and also the party he leads ever come to know of this ,i shudder at the thought of its effect on them .A vast band will lose its innocence and become cynics  overnight .
Further assuming that modi initiated and co operated , was he bought by the US  with a promise of visa for himself?Assuming even further ,Did he take a oath which reflected my actual  resolve in those days of intense pressure written in my international diary so as  to assuage his own guilty conscience or salvage his pride ?

In all probability the deal to secure visa for the supremo of the ruling party and possibly for  the prime ministerial candidate of the main opposition party was cemented in last September itself when summons were served on Sonia.g whilst she was  convalescing in a hospital in new york.Modi as well as his party colleagues are  after all  politicians who wouldn't want such a opportunity to slip by.If not why was such a furore created over an insignificant diplomat Devyani .k 's arrest [after putting such a big show in her defence now cbi is put on her!] by both Cong and bjp like churlishly boycotting US  delegation first by Meira kumar  the speaker of loksabha and then by modi in Nov-dec13.? And i was caught like a piece of rag between 2 dogs mouth and was  shaken violently.Thanks to that article in tuglaq .If not i would still be blundering around blindly .
Good thing that both didn't get the visa .

Poetic justice or my late son's gift to the politicians for trifling horrendously with his mother? -- written on

14.1 .14 7.30 pm.

contd on 15.4.14--6 am ---Did a section of bjp frown upon this delay [not due to any love for me . if they do like me , then fine] and a deal was struck within, that if i crumbled mid way Modi + libs will have their way of producing a manifesto that has only development and omitting controversies like Ram temple and 370 not the airline but the article in our constitution on jk?And if i didn't the conservatives will extract their price for  putting a nation's  interest and its party 's image on hold for the sake of honour of single woman and maybe a man also ?Which they did?

All this is pieced by following---
1.news on TV papers and my own experience of the pressure exerted on me deliberately by the doc/cop. or who ever he is,which made me extraordinarily alert and sensitive.

2.The way in which all of a sudden on 31.3.14 i suddenly decided that as i was a conservative Hindu woman i wouldn't respond to tapping's on my bathroom by strange men  etc to make me write or blog.Was this choice given to me sub consciously corresponding to deal within bjp ? And i decided on conservativeness not because of ideology but  as a important motivational factor to keep me angry and stay firm on my resolve  not to crumble to the extraordinary commands  nudging me to write and give a escape route to sg.

3. The crest fallen look on modi in the manifesto release day unlike his usual confident self and the dumb downing of his booming and clear voice and the absence of his politically close friend A.jaitely and beaming M. Joshi caught my attention                                                                                                                                                  have i by observing this established the liberal and secular credentials of modi?There is really some connection between me and modi and my international audiences.Some how i tend to raise his name and reputation without intending to do so.His luck .And he owes me a lot for this.
                                                                                   In fact i was filled with bitterness and anger when i realised /assumed that modi and co could be also be behind all this shady control and in keeping me at bay from  actual party participation but slobbering  slyily over my personal diary and making use of it to give themselves a modern and secular look!The limit! Obstructing me from writing my observations on hinduism when i find absolutely nothing wrong in expressing my views of the religion i am born into.Nor do i find it wrong in observing the basic 's underlying politics in here., And am i a 'secular politician' as is understood in here shaped by nehruvian influence out on a vote shopping spree , that i should not wear theistic beliefs on my sleeves  ?What i write about hinduism is not with any political motive or to gain some thing politically it is part of my nature to share willingly my mystical experiences.[but not my personal diary --for exploiting me non stop for 2 years i demand10 crores from cong and 8 crores from bjp , 2 crores each from admk and dmk, there are no free lunches that to all these who belong to billionares club]
                                                                
If some one wants to gain political mileage out of it that is neither my responsibility nor do i have the authority to stop it all i can do and did  is  file useless complaints in police, ec and party hq's and it is for the affected parties concerned , to rein in thier politically active members or activists.If parties cannot rein in their members who are deriving huge benifits from the party 's coffer etc how can they hope to rein me in who is no way indebted to them?Hence,when fear and, shame as a tool of control is used i am naturally rebelling against it.Remember i am no ordinary house wife .i have a past .when the current worthies were toddlers my grand father m.a.iyengar and then my uncle and then my aunt have all faced state coercion for agitating for freedom and rights and that memory gives me the strength to carry on .plus what i am doing in my house is well within my rights it is those who are excersing control who are in the wrong side of law and morality and ethics.

Hence i often bounce back .I am a hindu and i have no guilty conscience about it.Nor am i politician that i have to hug and kiss every muslim, sc ,st ,christian ,slum dwellers and the dirt poor that i come across in my daily life.In fact it is seen to that i am kept away from politicians so that i should come across to international viewers as a  honest blogger so as to push their dishonest agendas.My dear international viewers very frankly speaking i wouldn't mind receiving a fat cheque from all these politicians who have used me under the garb of public servise, and buy a bigger flat in a better neighbourhood .

Did the conservative section of bjp really feel a tug at their hearts at the shabby treatment towards me --an Hindu Brahmin' woman who was and is cleverly isolated even from most immediate family and constantly harassed?If so i am  truly glad of their moral support --a silver lining .If not was i  mere pawn in the internal politics of that party?I hope  it is the former.

If all that i have stated above is true then Narayana has really blessed me with extraordinary intelligence and resilience to unravel the mystery specially of the Andaman triangle on my own  and stand my ground.
If placing me under the constant surveillance of a Muslim family --yesser Arafati[she has since changed her scarf ,probably fearing a exposure after my blogging it.If her tool of control is fear by making use of political support my tool of control is blogging   ] and co was an attempt made by Sonia.g at bizarre  communal integration like that weird rte,it has clearly boomeranged and this could affect the electorate 's security she so vehemently champions.

A house wife  with typical patronising views of a European commoner on a wild spending spree has drained the nations of its resources and now at the fag end has with her weird ideas , this crazy communal forcible integertaion  may have sown the seeds for upsetting the communal fabric of this country. Cut to the basics if this weird arrangement was s.g's brain child No self respecting Hindu would tolerate the ignominy of one of their woman suffer in the manner i am made to in their own country , for whatever reasons --political or communal.An situation like mine up north would surely have  caused riots  How costly she is to the party  as well as this nation! 

S.g addressed the nation yesterday speaking of dark forces of communal taking over.Her eyes puffed and face haggard and lacking the usual lustre . Was it an reaction  to my writing my diary about bjps delayed manifesto yesterday evening?Was it her guilty conscience that made her do so?Her role in the delay and its after effects?the adding of cultural nationalism?Her parting gift to the nation?As a citizen i have no problems with the cultural bits added to manifesto but she has or pretends to have for the sake of her minorities electorate but has facillitated it !
 
By trying to put me into a guilt trap over that Malaysian airliners watery grave these two towering netas , one a 'has been 'and the other 'a would be' have clearly got themselves into a guilt trap !

My transgience and selfishness will affect no one but theirs would , the fortunes of their party   and more importantly  that of this nation.

BJP could have also co operated in forcing a confession out of me owing to fear of China.Their spokepersons display deep anxiety whenever china's creeping expansion in and around india is brought to notice by the media.I was aware of this factor also in those crucial days of asymetric warfare of obama but when i came to know that  the nuclear deal was there for asking my resolve strenghened further since i felt an oppurtinity lke this was quite rare to come by and when bjp forms the govt next , scarcely a month and half away ,it can always strike deals[no .not through me] open handedly with US to contain china.

If chaiwallah takes up the reins of this country will he deliver a watery tasteless tea served in railway stations or a creamy and tasty tea served in  a decent hotel?Have to wait and watch.

17.4.14---
Note:I am 100% sure that the release of election manifesto of bjp was delayed because  some one or even all in bjp wanted to bail out Sonia out of her entanglement in US  courts and allowed pf either a priavte practitioner or  belonging tosecret services to put the pessure upon me till the last minute .

My assumptions about deals within bjp are conjectures so is the one on  visa deal of modi..

Karma quickened --reaction to a article

Read an article on net--DNA in which the journo exhorts all people who take pride in the honour and prestige of their country should come together to bail out a very esteemed political leader of this country viz Sonia Gandhi who has been unwittingly caught in a archaic law in the US which allows its court to try any one accused of torture etc even  beyond its soil .And that US itself frowns on this law as it spoils its relations with other countries.
When i read this and glanced at his photo ,an middle aged man ,his innocence reminded me of the innocence of school going teen aged girls whom i often bump into in my daily walks.

It is this vulnerability that any hard nosed diplomat would love to exploit to his country's benefit.Can't the us repeal this law if it finds it actually finds it to be so  embarrassing?What is preventing it to do so?

Is he so naive to think that sovereign countries like US that is focused only on  the  advancement of its interest would melt and dissolve into tears at the fate of this hapless woman's [sg] honour and readily circumvent its archaic laws without any reciprocity?

It could be anything ,for instance India's vote in UN in line with its thinking, needs and aspirations which could be harmless and beneficial at times but also very harmful many a times to Indian's interests
.
In the manner in which i was the golden goose to politicians here for middle class perceptions, script and speech writing  or for those in dilema to take a decison for past two years due to my impossible position Sonia.g's  has become the golden goose to US to tweak Indian foreign affairs in its favour.due to her impossible position over there.

What goes up comes down.Can anyone interfere in workings of Karma?This cycle usually takes a long time but maybe even the Deva's , gods and nityasuris , Narayana and my late son ,the silent witness to the macabre dance of demonic forces over me ,made them breach their tolerance level quite quickly and hastened the cycle.

Written on 10.4.14  7.30 am blogged on 15.4.14

Sujata's oath.

I ll never give my middle class perception of sg's mysterious ill health since my distrust of Cong and other conniving politicians has started to run, deep .

I  do not know what is at stake .If it was  a nuclear deal this time it could very well be something else next time ,like lining of pockets of politicians and their parties or some dampener in the path of progress and development of our country.

Read in toi today that the deal  with Russia was inked only on 10 th which means they may have been waiting which means, pressurising  me to give my perception in this blog and let go only after i made it clear on 9 th that i was too distrustful of politicians  to part with it  in my blog 'excerpts from diary of 31.3.14'.

It is time that these pig headed  politicians let go off me and find some other way to tackle this issue.

If this oath is disappointing to my international viewers  kindly bear it in mind that in the manner in which you would put your countries interest first so am i. I am putting my country's interest first. This is nothing to do with any idealogy  --left leaning etc or anti- Americanism.

Submission of complaint toEC.

After listing my humilations in temples in a sudden fit of anger against my constant harrasers  and hoping to put some fear in yesserarafati and co--the burkha clad owner of upper floor who wears a spotted arabic looking  scarf like late yesser arafat,one of my tormentors ,as she has put irritation and fear  in me and taught me the efficacy of fear as a tool of control proceeded to fort to drop my complaint in tapal--post section of EC  and get my duty as a citizen  done with quickly.

A firece looking plainsclothes policewoman black as coal and reddish eyes accosted me at the gate and bombarded me with q's.why this? why that ? so on.I didn't  expect this since in my earlier visits to law section i was let in very easily .I was taken aback and my voice quivered a bit which melted her and she let me in .
Then another round of cops and yet again another round with important looking cars and orderlies parked around overawing me with their pomp and fearful trappings of power.as i wasa made to run hither and thither to get a gate pass a woman was carried on a stretcher and loaded into a ambulance whilst  a man covered with boils all over his face passed by .Charlies signature everywhere.so he hasnt left . [hey what is this under linig above para another evidence for US /never give up or caricaturing me as a vvip,[ azhagu parkiradhu ] ?pitiable juvenille thrills.

My light saree swirled up in  a sudden gust of wind adding to my feeling of shame and  belittlement
Then suddenly like a douche of cold water  the memory of how i withstood the pressures of the most powerful man on earth came flooding over me and in an instant regained my composure .

Went up to ec office ,met only pa of ceo who said action will be taken ,if it so warranted in due courseof time viz15 days later.I said i have done my duty of bringing the violation of model code that of few parties specially cong and bjp having a undue advantage over other candidates owing to presence of camersa etc with immediate transference of middle class preception .The  entire opertaion is illeagal  and it could be comic for me to use that clause. well corrupt practises are always shady so how else can one tackle it?

Whilst crossing the dry moat on way back i couldnt help but marvel at the power of ruling party at centre,making every one dance to its tunes but at same time felt a dab of misplaced pity .When a fire dies out its last sparks are the brightest.
Came home to tv blaring news that sibal has filed a complaint against modi.in ec.  

Violation of model code of conduct

Dear viewers ,
                    The fact that elections have started and model code of conduct has come into play sunk in only yesterday night and it made my heart soar.at the possibility of complaining to election commissioner of India on the grounds of violation of the code by deriving unfair advantage by the political parties and media houses who are in control of my electrical connection that feeds the hidden cameras and listening devices which can give a quick   and immediate access my writings on public affairs -the middle class perception as i am in the habit of writing in a note book first and then transfer it as and when i find the time.i may leave out some pieces also.
so i went to online compliant of EC and did all the formalities and even got a Mobile verification Code -922844 today in morning .Yesterday when i sat to compliant the computer went blank so post poned it thinking that i would go the office directly with my complaint ,but the net connection was graciously given today in the morn --11.4.14 so i wrote out my complaint .it was not allowed to be proceeded .i did this twice but the cowards are not willing to face the music.

so i will go to EC office and give my complaint.I clearly do not trust the politicians .bjp's indifference to my plight sealed  once and for all my faith in politicians.So even if they come to power i will not get any justice .At present i trust only constitutional bodies ,hope they do not break that  trust also under the  influence of politicians.
To those reading my blogs and this blog from other countries what a sorry picture  i as a citizen of this  much touted democracy will be cutting.If this is the intention of perverted liberals who have no concept of nationalism, respect for the law and constitution, they have beautifully showcased their sordid attempts.to tarnish the country that feeds them .
On second thoughts poor fellows with all thier might these selfish politicians couldn't get me to turf one of thier own out  .They couldn't shake me! They can only indulge in such petty blockades to try and salvage their hurt pride.Let them.One thing is for sure for all their feigned ignorance to my presence they will never forget me all their life . And those who lose out will have all the time in the world to lick their wounds and ruminate over my stark prophecies.            

Wrestling with a pig.

Read the following observation by Aristotle in a black board in the park
.
'Do not wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty but the pig will enjoy it'.

It had me wondering as to who the  'pig' is in this crazy macabre melodrama being played in and around me for the past 2 years ,is.  Me or those who are trying to control me shadily?

Only a detatched third party observer can anwere this question.

Modi's oath

'I ll spare no efforts to fulfill party's promises' the very first oath of the 3 taken by modi in the release of bjp, his party's election manifesto ceremony kept needling me.The reason being the strange and inexplicable delay of   the major opposition party well known for its systematic orgns and time consciousness and as usual ,that is ,since the devyani episode first erupted  i am viewing this mysterious delay from my point of view.and assuming the following.

Was the delay deliberate to turf out the supremo of the rival party ,that is create anxiety in me --the loner who gets a carried away by TV news , and think that i have the power  to remedy this urgent situation by writing or blogging and thus lose the grip on my determination ,not to write a single alphabet till the elections day and thus provide the escape route to sg?
Could be possible since are all in one charmed circle and very friendly with each other.Even then how could a major party accede to such  selfish requests when they very well knew that by doing so they would be denying the country of a more lucrative deal with the russia?And how did of all people Modi who thunders on and of about putting nation first agree to such a decision?Is he just theoretical or were his hands tied?

I seem to have put into practise that principle -'nation first' -fighting against all odds!This is not to boast about my determination but more to express my dismay at the chink in a man considered by all as well as me to be tough and patriotic. Isn't he from rss stable and aren't they all highly patriotic or so they appear?Really just what do i actually know of rss? And am i actually complimenting modi by distancing him from rss known for its idealism /selflessness and herding him along with the   selfserving pragmatic,and dirty politicians?

The 370 airliner saga kept tugging at my heart and i felt all along [may be nudged constantly] that i could alleviate or shorten the misery of those relatives if i gave sg/Cong+politicians and US what they wanted by writing about the prevalence of conservatism in Indian society--a fact that i do not deny and   to a extent can be gleaned from my earlier blogs in sujataism itself ,because i could connect to their misery but in real life another grave event  cut short my luxury to grieve and taught me to swallow  my grief and give my undivided attention to the living .Bluntly put in a balance scale, the claims of dead  do not and should not matter as against the urgent claims of the living .So i applied this lesson i learnt from my life weighed the consequences and concluded that for the sake of millions living in here in india around me ,[though there is no urgency but the situation was urgent and the  opportunity not easy to come by ],i had to control the natural empathy i feel in tragic situations and  conquer my urge to write in that crucial week.

I kept reading gita and Rama's advise to laxman every day to tackle my emotions as i used to in my first few years of my grief .However , I was clear in my objective and priority.

Even if it wasn't Sonia.g and if it was J'J .or Sushma or any other  Indian politician my stand would have been the same. I examined this aspect  viz xenophobia  honestly and concluded as above..

I only hope that if modi becomes PM his loyalty to his party is confined only to promises made by it to people of India and not any promises it may make to a select few or an individual as it may have happened in S.g's case .If he doesn't we will all be back to square one, the ruinous dyarchy.

I am joining dots.Read news in toi that 'late' last week EC allowed officials to renew the contract with Russia --so it means the deal was hanging fire  till the last moment viz elections
Evening read on net shankara that sg's lawyer in US has decided to take part in the trial or some such thing on Monday--7th
So that means that whole of last week viz 31.3.14.to 7.4 14 was pregnant with the anticipation of my writing my diary or publishing my middle class perception on the mysterious illness of sg with a lot of pressure tactics and i stood my ground.

A pm of this country would have to face pressures constantly specially in foreign affairs ,with a lot of pulls and shoves.It is no joke. I had a taste of it  but mine thankfully is  short lived though  the whole of last week  dragged on and on  and it  felt like a year  and it is only now that  i can breathe easy a bit .But the next pm better be tough, bold independent and be totally focused on securing the nations interest at all times in any given situation.,

written on 8.4.14   9.30.pm

Diary 31.3.14 Diplomacy be damned.

Stayed at home and was tempted to list my activities as i usually do but fear held me back .If wrote the mundane household activities in my very public intnl diary my value as middle class preception would skyrocket

.What a misery.        It is my diary yet every one reads it .Just where will i go to unburden myself?However decided to strictly stay off writing and net till elections start since i do not want to unwittingly give a chance to our shamless opportunistic politicians to cut deals and put our country's needs at peril.
Watched Modi'd speech in Arunachal pradesh.Ah! he was in full steam.It seems that he has derived inspiration from my crazy blog in sujataism2 in which i branded every ruler /politician in India as killers, crooks, cheats and traitors.
Late ight swa news that nancy powell --us ambassdor to india has quit over her mishandling of Dev.k incident etc.So this old woman was roasting me non stop for past 3 months to get my emotional evidence and pure middle classprecption.Good riddance.She and her crazy senile ideas.Hope the new one doesnt pincer me in dk/sg case.

yesterday morning  i wrote a piece where i let of obama and putin but hold our dirty politicians responsible for stalling benifits to milions for the sake of prestige and honour of a single woman- an politicl leader.
True i even gave my much prized midle class preception of the mysterious health problem of sonia .g.That is what my view would be if it was either pshychiatric or cevicial  cancer .so that the US court uses it and allow her in and thus not let her  ,hold the entire country to ransom again and again till that issue is solved .But didnt blog it. [as i add this para  today viz 9 th after  skipping it when i blogged this on 7th i am not going to give the highly prized preception as i am still wary of the political class and their infinite capacity to close ranks. i want that n.deal inked before i part with my preception  ]

Why ?The irritating tapping a signal for me to pour out my emotions and write it . Since i have developed an active distrust to such nudgings i decided to hold back  .May be the deal wasnt off and would be kept alive till the day elections start viz 7 th

My resolve strengthened when the tapping's  the nudging continued on the ceiling .This made me recoil.The more i am arm twisted the more it hardens me . Am i not a conservative Hindu woman and am i not projected as such and which Hindu woman would stomach strange men wantonly peeping into her house?This was  one of the good reasons to strengthen my resolve till i was absolutely sure that my writings will not be exploited to suit a priveleged few as against the needs  of vast not so priveleged masses

Taking in the coolness of the late night from my balcony saw a lot of residents of tenements , men women and even young women returning from work, walking and,trudging about .Tired to the bone after a days hard work.Longing for a good nights rest after watching TV and sleeping under a fan and be fresh to face the next day's work.Simple hard working people fulfilling their cycle of life .I am totally out of this grind and power cuts wouldn't irritate me much .Yet i have unwittingly   have made their life ahead a little bit easier and pleasanter.  The fig trees leaves rustled in the breeze .I am sure there are more people than those leaves in this part of the country and those two days i had the power to determine the power needs of  millions as against the extraordinary power of a few and their desire to circumvent the price of power and i luckily used the power  for the former and am glad that i did it.

MK..Gandhi's oft repeated quote came to my mind 'before taking a decision think how it would affect the poor '.There is no longer the poverty of his days so I'll substitute poor with ordinary people. 

PS i have blogged all this  today 7 th April  though i had earlier wanted to play it safe and blog only on 9 th when in natl timings adjust since  the TV news cnn says  that the black box that is sending pulse will die off tomorrow .And if at all  Obama 's heart should melt and pitch in the resources only his country has on reading my blog then  it should be at this very instant as i blog .Hope he does. Purely humanitarian.
                                      ******************************
    12.4.14
PPs. My instinctive distrust of the politicians in this saga was right .Read today viz--12.4.14 in toi that the nuclear deal was inked only on  thursday viz 10.4.14.That  could mean that cong was still waiting for me to give my middleclass preception of the mysterious illhealth of sg  and have let go only when i reiterated my determination not to give it in  a para  in this very blog on 9th.

Sujata's oath  --i'll never give it .My distrust in  Cong as well as other conniving politicians has become too deep  to be overcome so easily.Simple i just donot know what is at stake ,if it was  that nuclear deal this time it could be something else next time viz lining of pockets of politicians / parties or some other dampener in the path of development .

Once bitten twice shy.

Price of power. 31.3.14

Since i was in the eye of the storm in the Andaman cyclone  370 ,its after effects are still reverberating in me.
Viewing the triangle dispassionately ,today i realise that Obama  whom i cursed in the height of my emotional outbursts and has caught my attention  since then was doing what he did viz cutting deals with our politicians so as to promote his country's interests and so was Putin.

But what our politicians have done wasn't .Frankly all those involved in this plot  have held the entire country at ransom for the sake of the prestige of a single woman.

It reminds of the legend from ancient world history that the  beautiful face of a woman - Helen of troy   launched a thousand ships.When i see all those ships and planes scouting the Indian ocean for that mysteriously so near yet so far wreckage of that ill fated plane which  makes my stomach turn  and anger blurr my vision at the cold blooded nature of diplomacy i wonder whether history has repeated itself.

Holding this country hostage for the prestige of a single woman could very well continue unless that woman and her clique decided never to step into US and let go off magnanimously keeping in view the enormous love and adulation showered on her by teeming millions in her matrimonial home the very basisof the power and prestige as otherwise she would have been just one among the millions a nondecripit home maker .Shopping for vegetables and talking to vendors instead of presiding over conclaves and conversing with foreign dignitaries . 

From my diary----22.3.14 Saturday 6 pm.Felicitations

After writing long long imposition viz my analysis and trying to understand the bizzare andaman triangle into which i was fitted in decided to de clutter my brain and escape from the flat with some shopping so proceeded on to co optex shop to buy curtains,shelving the strange but persistent urge to blog my piece on pm's last laugh.
A group of school girls got off the ptc bus lugging their school bags without a care in the world .The future citizens of india!To them i would be just another middle aged woman walking down the street .
Their laughter and innocence suddeny made me giddy with the importabnce of what i had done and achieved.I had fought a valiant battle against all odds , against conniavance of politicians who shout from the roof tops about providing security and empowerment to women including those who wear patriotism on their lapels , as well as weak kneed politicians from nearby countries ,as well as the complicity of our own govt and the pm and its vast machinery ,to turf one out  from their charmed circle -- a -political leader ,the supremo of Cong who had got caught in a legal tangle in US and every politician here as well there wanted to willy nilly rescue her though it would involve the blatant intrusion of  a foreign country into our own , that is foisting its principle of juriprudence , on me in my country.How dare ?


For the pm who perpetually throws up his hands ,the ukraine crisis provided a golden oppurtunity to finish of his hearts desire before demitting office --take a neutral stand on crimean issue and  and get russis's help in making it accept the new contract which has claim for damages whilst providing nuclear reactors [ the damages clause was what all the opposition parties wanted  here as well] to which russia had shown reluctance to accept till now.and had stalled the project .

How ever dark forces intervened .With re indiction of dev.k , the mystery of the missing plane , a full moon and a emotional  blogger at hand  who could be compelled to write reams with hypnosis and other shady works,an oppurtunity arose to find a escape route to sg .And they worked pretty hard on me to get the emotional evidence to unsuspecting jurors in US  courts  or even congress men to nullify the harsh law with a humane decison.To show what a illiberal place india was   and it had to come from the horses mouth viz me --.a middle class observer.

The more i was worked upon the more i resisted .Some what similar to the attempts and my ordeal in dec last which co incidently also fell on same date viz 8th and 9 th onwards  
.
I did burst out showing how very conservative a society we are as well as my conservativness .For all my knowledge and reading western literature all my life the  long conditioning of generations upon generations will never allow me to go the full hog .This could have turned into sg's favou r if i had not proceeded to rant against obama [ cursing obama was very uncharacteristic of me .why should i ?he hardly figures in my life .so he was deliberately introduced or i was making a link with that similar dec 8 th episode sub consciously]     and list out  assumptions on the basisof articles in net and newpapers which i was forced to make owing to the mystery sorrounding sg's illhealth. since i felt it was unfair of me to cast aspersions on another person's character without being aware of the actual facts.

That did it the deal was off and pm by default was free to claim his laurels .His pliant complicity in this entire affair is obvious  , hence i am in no mood to praise him .In fact i had cursed him and his deputy as well in one of my imposition writings.Again out of the blue.

If i had succumbed on the crucial days--14,15,16 th march [when a decison was awaited to isolate russia ] to presures exerted for the sake of one womans' entry into US  india would have had to support US  [that must be the deal if not why was my diary writing so important and  broadcast internationally and keenly read ?]against russia and in the process suffer a set back in nuclear energy.Russia wouldn't have melted.

The bright faces of the young girls filled me with a warm glow.I have stood up against politicians, natl and internatl  so that these  young saplings the  ordinary citizens  may never see a power cut or grope in darkness in their adult life.

So i achieved something .And it is no mean achievment.

A policeman was training a jet black labrador  , which was totally out of place in the co ptex grounds and several men in gray were standing around . A lot of young policemen barely out of their teens lined the streets and the slum tenements idiot an adoloscent boy was made to run wild in the heavy traffic of the busy mount road .The felicitations from a perverse party.

Just what was i battling both the times at a sub conscious level and refused to surrender ?Cursing obama on 15 -16  shows it was the obama admns !The Americans!Maybe the fighting spirit inherited from my freedom fighter grand father spurted up and refused to submit to foreigners/westerners exercising their legal or admns system over me in my sovereign country.

All our woderful netas connived for their collegue and forgot the duty they owe to their people.

If i wouldnt have stood up this time around those girls may have to study in candle light or be denied the simple pleasure of watching tv and every affected person would chaffe at having to endure powercuts when all netas in unison claim that we are in race for super powerdom!

Those laughing faces of those innocent young girls whose hassle free future was in a way in my hands was my true felicitation