Invite to SAARC in new PM's take over on- May 26 th 2014.

Brilliant !In a deft stroke not only the unwarranted fears of our neighbours  have been doused but also our age old ties with all our neighbours have been reaffirmed and renewed.
If this  invitation  is reciprocated  whole heartedly there is every chance of peace and prosperity  for all those millions upon millions  inhabiting this sub continent.

Excerpts from diary --6 th may --17 may.

I am finally blogging the May 6 th diary  till its logical conclusion to 17 the may.Something prevented me from blogging it and i suffered tooth ache , headaches and fever cold and felt my hands go wooden for a couple of days , probably the result of my refusing to submit to presurre tactics to come on net and publish it or write something in my diary .That something is the lack of  my real and truthful view in the un/us gift to delhi and therefoe i kept postponing it.It cleared only on 17 th .I am producing all the contents to the benifit of commoners  which the oligarchs have already read .and made use of .

6 may tuesday --10.30.am.

My parents wedding day .A quiet morn as chanter has left for monthly trip to the 7 hills.
The news in hindu that ukraine was pressing ahead coz of imf is holding back rest of aid till it gains control of En ukr caught my eyes + that ukr was pressing nationalists to assit it.

Didn't Kerry rave and rant about these nationalists misdoings in geneva accord speech?Something clicked and i felt nauseous I had the cake and also eaten it .Something in my genes that puts india first?
In that triangle i botched it and then withstood the presurres and secured the nuclear deal for the present govt that is for people of india
In the third episode tonsure of tormentor + kasi blog i thought i had lost and had let americans in to cretae chaos  when illiberal fascists etc etc --the labels stuck on modi and co takes over next and stop our development .I nearly cried and called obama a chimp out of anger and frustration .
Now that i have sort of unravelled the cold diplomacy that un + us aid for prtection of women in delhi may have been a bonanza to next govt which all have decided to be of bjpso as to counter china's aid arms to maoists [if not how can poor tribals have so many arms?] by tackling the menace to peace and development effectively.
If so i have not on;y helped the govt that is leaving but also that is said to take power and most importantly to people of india.

Why should i bother about india, india etc could be because i am a hindu and feel deeply that every inch of this land is sacred and all its inahabitants specially hindus whether they hate me or like me or  are different from me are my relatives .My religion teaches me that i must a dip in ganga and in rameswaram at least once in my life time .Where on earth can one find the ganges at kasi and the sea at rameswaram?If not in bharat /india?
On the day of marriage my father was a young man of 21 and was already wedded to communist ideals whilst my mother a girl of 15 was already wedded to Indian nationalism and the freedom movt.

12.30.pm--
Had my gf been alive, he an hindu nationalist would have condemned the delay in release of bjp's manifesto that enabled an hindu woman to be tortured so as to turf out an european.
Had my father an commie  been alive he would have reacted imme to the news of gunnig down of bangla deshi migrant muslims with' poor souls' and wouldn't have wiated for a day or two to express it as commies did.
my view--India is not a waste paper basket .stop and send back the illegal mus migrants and not the persecuted hindu migrants--where else  will  hindus go if not to india?But not by violence and killings but by peaceful methods.
And who wouldn't feel sorry for life talken? That young girl swathy's life snuffed away by cowards in morn of may 1 and of others at night in the games that politicians play.i have pieced the bloody plot with help of tv debates and news items and the timing of such items .but i am not divulging them not coz of fear but coz   it is all part of political games with which i want no truck.

15.5.14.
I still have this misgiving allowing U.S  a back door entry.Practically speaking the money is welcome to who ever governs delhi viz aap or bjp.  for freebies to ak and his separatist pals or for strengthening nationalist bjp.It is russian roulette .
My real view.--it doesneedle my self respect to allow a foreign power to gain a foothold on whatever excuse.
To the conservative right the society being illiberal so as to pave way for fgn intervention will be totally unaceptable.I feel sorry for all those idealistic innocent young rightist fans of mine that it was one of my blogs that facilitated this by staining and mocking at thier pride our society and its capacity to reform from within.

17.5.14  10 30 am Saturday.
My first reaction to un/us deal is correct .I didnt like US  gaining sly entry into india under the pretext of women protection.
I am ashamed that  it could have been my  writings of emotional reactions to tricks  and  my blog kasi that unwittingly did this.
I am also sorry for letting down all those ordinary  indians who take pride in thier society  and culture and believe that reforms in society should come from within just as i do and have the firm belief in our society and culture to correct itself  all the inequalities and injustises.

Maybe in the very first episode of devyani /sg it was this deal that was offered in return for release and i had succesfully countered then as well as in the next.

i am ashamed because i lowered my guard .If only i had been alerted and a even a tiny bit of support shown to me ,i wouldn't have let this happen, if at all .So the shame is not mine alone and the blame has to be borne by those who allowed it to happen,if at all they feel the prick of conscience at compromising nations pride and security..

Note :I am not ashamed of the emotions i displayed to the tricks played .They are real reactions and emotions to what was represented to me by tapping into my doubts and making use of the  out of the ordinary events in my secluded life.

Probable links to inatl happenings.

6 -7 may --us decides to help trace girls kidnapped by bokoharam with michelle found 'snuffing'[exact words in news ] of girls ambitions at education  unpalatable.

19 monday  putin decides to pull back from border of ukr and asks ukr and rebels to sort it out..

My real reaction to the deal is, the diary writing of 17 th may .

Deal done.

Saw the news ticker on TV that US court has dismissed the case against sonia .g in the anti sikhriots case.

so what i had grasped and was ranting about was right.An deal has been struck between Cong and us and big brother has landed in Delhi.

That UN project which is ostensibly for changing the thought process and mind set of Indians .Is it possible to change 1ooo's of years of mental conditioning ?did they achieve such remarkable changes in Arab and African countries?The UN backed by the us knows that fact very well but doesn't the US  need an excuse to enter India and put a spoke in its development? cold blooded diplomacy for domination and control.

why am i feeling so much about this piece of news whilst it has been totally ignored by all and sundry? I was the most important pawn in this ostensibly liberal vs ill liberal warfare and probably the  middle class perception gleaned out of my blogs by  all those who refuse to acknowledge the fact  or turning a convenient blind eye to it that i am being constantly worked upon ,thirsting for such manna from heaven , the blog on kasi , can be  put  into mischievous use to tarnish the image of rightists , and it might have  turned the tide.

on the brighter side the vexatious problem is over ,at least for the time being.

It is my most sincere advise  that the next govt on assuming office must scrap that UN project.and if Sikhs pursue the case adapt the typical Hindu attitude of allowing the workings of karma to take its  natural course.One reaps what one sows.That is allow Sonia.g to face the consequences of not condemning but of condoning her party men's role [if Cong has  evidence to prove otherwise it can be tendered in that court]in Sikh riots.
Put a full stop to this emotional blackmail which jeopedrised lives and tried to stall the country's development and also has the potential to do so in future.

written on 29.4.14  9 am 

Sister cities. from my diary.28.4.14 6am

Read the news yesterday in Hindu that obama  along with japan was funding UN project on women protection in new Delhi.
After spending  a very restless night it  dawned upon me that a deal has has been cut with Obama and i am connecting it to me and sg's ,most probably that tonsure business has or will secure sg's  release from us courts clutches and allow the Americans in

bjp wouldn't mind since they love to ally with the us and are pragmatic [tho it involves the torture and exploiting my totally helpless position under this psychiatric control]that this vexatious issue is solved  or going to be solved and accept Obama munificence whole heartedly

Ah!Modi put a great show on oppression of women on TV a few days back .Wow!That could have clinched the deal.
I am not for us or un's stealthy intervention into India via delhi  and am totally ashamed that i fell into the elaborate trap set by Cong, bjp and toi and let them in .If so it was under trickery and my complete isolation from social contacts and rigid control over every second and every space of my life.I was quite taken aback when modi said on that show that he wouldn't mind anyone reading even his thoughts,for the same does not go for me having been brought up in  a manner that respects one's privacy.well he is in politics and a public figure  and i am not .May be that he is really that confident or has the skill to project a clean image.

Maybe bjp wants to offset china's influence on Maoists  etc but even then it is shameful to depend on a foreign power or allow them to do the job the Indian state has and owes to its people.
Just for what are all these people casting their votes?some cash& TV or fridge? No it is something more , for security, a good living as a Indian/bharatwasi with self respect.

Really if that tonsure piece is used to secure release through me and which i had thought i had successfully  guarded against by  deciding not to  blog about  it till may 21 ,as  i was nicely tricked into thinking that my diary no longer counted as elections have commenced [and i also went a reported to EC --a joke was made of it by all--]and only my blogging would.i have tripped and feel sorry for all those young fans of mine in the Internet as also the people of India.

I wanted very much to resist till the next pm took over so that ,if that pm strikes a deal as his party stands for India first they would have to secure a better deal from us in this sg issue which would benefit the whole of India in a open open manner.[though this issue could be submerged within]if they wanted to secure sg's release and maintain the 'prestige and honour 'of a political leader.I also resisted the strong temptation to clear my name sullied by rumours that i am a woman of easy virtue when my instant reaction was the relief i felt that i had no baser attractions ,since i reasoned since a slur has already been cast on it by politicians the only tool in thier hands against me as well as any woman a man cannot get to submit and is secretly in awe of , which is itself against their own ego ,i can bear it for another month for the sake of country's prosperity.  

The sudden 'mottai ' of pf/kgb was a brilliant move .no doubt as it elicited the exact reaction hoped for that on my seeing it i would feel a flash of relief that typifies a conservative illiberal Hindu woman whose very private moments had been so boldly  invaded wasn't a Muslim,but  a Hindu and i felt it and wrote it Further i show cased my illiberality by viewing my tormentor /rapist etc as a brother in that instant reaction, an elder one who often tonsure his head in tirupati after fulfilling his vow . Had i been a true liberal i ought to have hated him for what he did and not exhibit even that pinch of relief at his religious identity .second i ought to have accepted my interest in him sexually and not give it a platonic relationship.That is what true liberals would ,but i didn't and my relief that i didn't feel any such attraction made me doubly ill liberal , I provided an excellent proof of indian woman's illiberality to us courts to act upon .

On realising this i corrected it saying that i shouldn't be taken as the sample example of Indian women's ill liberality and it would be unfair to scores of other liberal women in India.

I wanted the cake and also eat it .Having secured the nuclear deal by holding out that penultimate week i also was greedily hoping to secure a very good deal for India as a whole from us if bjp assumes power and puts this  emotional evidence of tonsure to use and give them the choice to use it when i blog this tonsure piece after may 21st .
of course the politicians will be laughing their heads off at my temerity to play power politics just by writing and not winning even a single vote whilst they are on it with seriousness.The fact is i was not going to use the power for myself and i never asked or it and after being conferred with i was going to be doubly sure that i would use it to benefit of my country as a whole and in a open manner.

I thought that i had held on but Obama announcement in japan has shown that i haven't.
The politicians have done me in.Enjoy India! All the best when you go out and vote trustingly.i Voted for nota.

Your outgoing pm and beloved' annai sonia t'he lady bountiful have effected a mini partition as they leave and your ,'India first 'sentinels have stood guard .

Maybe the pm was nostalgic about his partition days and wanted a reenactment and annai being a true  liberal  with the notion of countries without borders seeped deep within couldn't care less about the fate of Delhi and Indian security .Wow her stock must have risen in international arena and so has bjp's liberal image.
It was the bjp under s. sushma who were in the forefront of spearheading women's harassment [which could Be political .]So were right libs journos cum politicos like k.gupta and so on .And modi took the cake with his sivaji ganesan like performance on TV with tears filling his eyes and voice choking with emotion  at the news of women being harassed  all over India after sg  guiltily/ungratefully spilled the beans on TV  after that aborted Andaman triangle plot [aborted by me],by castigating the very party under the leadership of that illiberal brute was helping her ,since as far back as Nov DEC 2013 itself !Hence the vociferous reaction by sandeep b.in defence of modi. I was totally forgotten or brushed under the carpet  in  this mega political cum diplomatic drama.
Are the courts in us or the law makers so stupid to act on a emotional evidence collected by deliberate provocation by both major political parties of India  even if i keep on writing and blogging about how they are extracted?Nothing but manufactured confessions in police custody in a sort of solitary confinement. Is this blocked?or those parts that reveal the truth are blocked whilst the rest isn't?I also realised that my reaction was purely a Stockholm syndrome and also wrote it.

That woman will beat Helen of troy hollow.

On the brighter side of Andaman triangle Putin got Crimea and india got nuclear energy whilst Obama has entered Ukraine successfully  to contain Russia through that Geneva accord and the world can enjoy China's squirming and failing to comfort  their citizens by not being to unravel the mystery of mh 370 for all its super power claims. .i have emerged from this triangle alive though i couldn't care less but to that plane load of innocent passengers to be alive, did matter.

I suppose i am reacting typically like an commie or the rss since this UN deal would be a good gift to bjp--1.solving sg's problem their dear pal
2.A step forward in alliance with their natural ally ,the us in  future .


But again New delhi  is not kiev that its  keys  be so liberally handed over to washington


Relevant Excerpts from my diary.
19.4.14 Saturday

 night glanced down and saw an unbelievable comic sight . pf/kgb  had tonsured his head that means his penance has been fulfilled.was curious to know as to what he achieved so met him on the landing.the same innocent act and said he had gone to mecca for  umrah and was not here for 15 days.clearly lying.i saw him just 2 days back with all his crop. i mentioned it but no use.only denial.so came back and went hurriedly through the papers.did he get his imp mission --sg's release .no news.

yesterday or day before i exonerated him saying he was successful in both episodes viz  making me parrot but since it was a lie and not what i thought and felt to be  truthful so i kept correcting it.
so that must be the cause of his mottai.freak. liar.thank god also.it is ill liberal conserv,communal but i couldn't have stomached it if he was a Muslim it was al humiliation but this makes it a bit more bearable.
so i gave my 2 year long tormentor a god conduct cert the fact that it meant so much to him is itself my revenge .
The fact that his kudumi was in my hands at the end whilst he was always the one who had nearly completely controlled my life ,environ etc is sweet revenge which i ought to havae extended a bit further to keep him on tenterhooks strange unfair encounter.whilst he knew everything about me i do not know anything about this mystery man.a weird crazy, humiliating chapter in my life.

20.4.14 sunday  6 am

Just why was this clearance cert so im p to this ---

1. for self aggrandisement--a promotion-very selfish motive
2.to restore reputation amongst peers in here if he is a pvt practitioner
3.to give true picture of the institute-viz-cbi or restore its reputation in the eyes of the world since this is an in natl diary?

To me the 3 rd reasoning and option is more acceptable .the first 2,not.he presented himself to me as atheist but even then if he has prayed and fulfilled his vow --in a temple[which one?]and if it was for the third option ,it is OK with me.that apart from me ,in this whole sordid episode -the final one there is another person who has put his nation first that is not lower its image, abilities of the ins ti of our country in the eyes of the world.

21.4.14 The news that sg cancelled her election caught my eyes plus that she was star campaigner for Cong as Muslims identify with her and not with rg and has a relapse of her mysterious illness.
i felt imme that it was to do with my reaction to pf's tonsure.
so how is this connected to sg?

1. if i am the model citizen it means i prefer to be humiliated by a Hindu party like bjp than a mus party [under her] like Cong--pol speaking
2. or if she was identifying herself with me -some what a liberal outwardly she had a jolt that inside at core i am a conservative Hindu who cannot and will not cross the dividing line.[could be true --saw AP patel her poli adviser on TV today---27.4.14,he looks exactly like pf , only older ]

22.4.14.
woke up early in morn .lay on bed and heard hanuman chalisa sung beautifully by some man.it was also easy to understand it moved me.Rama has that effect--on emotions[does any one require more evidence than this regarding my ill liberality as is understood in here?].and gita is for the intellect.

got out of bed feeling sorry for sg .if she is suffering from ocd and is obssesed with me it is beyond her control.i spose she wanted to convert my deep Hindu beliefs.an unwanted obsession.that explains the brain washing techniques.but my instant reaction to pf's tonsure that i forgave him for that instant for him being a Hindu only must have broken her illusions.but my heart was already broken way back when vidat was taken down these very steps on a pall there is no turning back------
Relief he is a Hindu.Relief that i saw him only as a brother and nothing more.Relief that just like that brother [ govt servant retd] who stood by me in my darkest hour he was also standing by me .

23.4.14 6 pm
Parrakai has made me cry after a long time.after writing reams of analysis relaxed at savasan then it suddenly struck me that he is in cbi ,the pet of cong he was registering his protest by tonsuring his head [he could done it later] at the shabby treatment given to me by politicians and rewarding me for my determination to hold out ironically against his pressure tactics,for the sake of the country and people.
some how i couldn't this kindness and it touched me so much that i had a good cry.no wonder that he reminded me of my brother who consoled me when i was totally isolated and ignored by my hubs family when vidat died.
funny that i could bear every humiliation he heaped upon me but not this human gesture.

24.4.14 6 am

My flood of tear is nothing but result of stockholm syndrome .Cong offered  a carrot to douse ill will of powerful poli up north specially in sensitive bihar because of the thimir [arrogance] of its own in its hey days-politics
2. and yet again continuing attempts to free sita from clutches of ravana in us.

emotional blackmail.
To those who masterminded Andaman triangle this would be child's play.to use vidats favourite phrase--jujupi.
25.4.14--9am wrote about reaction to modi's cavalcade in kasi[i have blogged it]

12 pm .----Since kgb is still hanging around it means he still has a mission to complete viz rescue sg .If i blog the above 2 pieces 21and 23 and today's that of even mentioning his tonsure who ever he is ,which is my obssesion with his personal whim she may be released .But i am reluctant and hesitant to blog [i think writing in diary no longer counts with nancy removed]coz i have no idea as to what the stakes are and what is the deal?And that ukraine is still smouldering.
Having held out then why not hold out till 16 and play it safe? why boast over myself in the net so as to clear my name and establish my sati savithri image? when such gloating can boomerang and give emotional evidence which those lib Americans jurors will drool over ?
3.20.pm
I am cleraly expected [pressurised] to blog about the greatest surprise in past 2 yeras in my life that of tonsuring of kgb/pf .Why?
1. If he is in govt to restore its secular image
2.If he has been put by bjp to assure the delusional rights that the person they put to control me is a hindu and thus douse any hard feelings.would any hindu tolerate one of thier woman being put under the  direct and total control of  a muslim man and his family specially after the rise of my stock amongst all those hindus  who would have appreciated my determination to hold out for the sake of the country to secure that nuclear energy deal ,an living example of india first ?
3. If he has been put by cong/sg/nac +bjp etc and if he is a muslim to show that some muslims are liberal enough to tonsure thier head and show me as the conservative of the two.
no idea except that i have to blog about it and i am not going to for some days.
If he is realy a hindu and if he realy wants me to blog my reactions so as to mellow and assuage any tough hindus heart he has to ask me and i will only if there is no under hand deal with us.Till then i won't mention it.

4.i donot know who he is .Does he exist at all? He is not supposed to exist. I am the one who is delusional right?Ask my husband he'll tell every one  that he is a useless mus neighbour. My hub is sane man .Not me


All  above excerpts from my diary barring 24,4,14  are the  deliberately manufactured  emotional evidence needed to abrogate that law in us and i think it has been used forthwith as the munificence of Obama to UN project in Delhi suggests .24.4.14.is the correct analysis and if both parties have taken out pieces of emotional evidence from my diary  or if they take it to secure release, they  are once again clearly using an situation deliberately created by themselves.This will never stand the test in a proper court of law.It is against the principles of natural justice which i was taught in law school .one cannot take advantage of one's own wrong doings.

i am sure 100% that the mysterious disappearance of 370 has to do with the mysterious illness of sonia .g .i feel thoroughly ashamed that people of our country has put  such a person in power who hasnt shown even a drop of remorse except for that sudden guilt ridden appearance on tv which was more as a defence .And she is going about her election works gaily. whilst when i allow myself to make a connection between me  the blogger,sg  and that plane i stop short in my tracks and feel a knife twist within me and  i shake my head  in regret.

In which world is she?Does she  think and hallucinate that i am jesus christ who has to bear  the cross for her every time she bloodies her hands.?

Fire doused and a million lives ignited.

The news that Russia and US and EU have entered into a peace deal over the Ukrainian issue yesterday is great.Good news!
Phew! My pawning days in this issue has come to an end.

Many a thanks to the bright and plucky president of Russia --Putin. for granting and inking the nuclear energy deal with India.A lion hearted gesture.
                                                                                                             I also applaud his courage and his efforts to douse the hostilities  .

Conjectures--
1. Did he or his advisers  read my blog on the role of opposition in the Andaman triangle and deduced the foll--
a.That bjp will win  this elections and form the govt.This is also what opinion polls  say and also i feel so.

b.That bjp will mostly align with US to contain china  in straight forward deals as also under hand deals till the vexatious issue of sg's entry into US, since they stalled the release of their election manifesto an unheard of event since bjp is known for good organisation and time consciousness , is not settled once and for all and this may have dampened any hope he harboured about India's continued neutrality.

2. The cnn achor on tv yesterday night commented that Putin sounded philosophical after a sudden change in his tough stand and that got me thinking with mind reeling in giddiness whether Putin read and digested my blog on' Karma quickened'?

Ps.I haven't lowered my guard as politicians may still find some other deal .Hope US doesnt insist on my views on indian society
written at 6.30 am --18.4.14

Modi's oath

'I ll spare no efforts to fulfill party's promises' the very first oath of the 3 taken by modi in the release of bjp, his party's election manifesto ceremony kept needling me.The reason being the strange and inexplicable delay of   the major opposition party well known for its systematic orgns and time consciousness and as usual ,that is ,since the devyani episode first erupted  i am viewing this mysterious delay from my point of view.and assuming the following.

Was the delay deliberate to turf out the supremo of the rival party ,that is create anxiety in me --the loner who gets a carried away by TV news , and think that i have the power  to remedy this urgent situation by writing or blogging and thus lose the grip on my determination ,not to write a single alphabet till the elections day and thus provide the escape route to sg?
Could be possible since are all in one charmed circle and very friendly with each other.Even then how could a major party accede to such  selfish requests when they very well knew that by doing so they would be denying the country of a more lucrative deal with the russia?And how did of all people Modi who thunders on and of about putting nation first agree to such a decision?Is he just theoretical or were his hands tied?

I seem to have put into practise that principle -'nation first' -fighting against all odds!This is not to boast about my determination but more to express my dismay at the chink in a man considered by all as well as me to be tough and patriotic. Isn't he from rss stable and aren't they all highly patriotic or so they appear?Really just what do i actually know of rss? And am i actually complimenting modi by distancing him from rss known for its idealism /selflessness and herding him along with the   selfserving pragmatic,and dirty politicians?

The 370 airliner saga kept tugging at my heart and i felt all along [may be nudged constantly] that i could alleviate or shorten the misery of those relatives if i gave sg/Cong+politicians and US what they wanted by writing about the prevalence of conservatism in Indian society--a fact that i do not deny and   to a extent can be gleaned from my earlier blogs in sujataism itself ,because i could connect to their misery but in real life another grave event  cut short my luxury to grieve and taught me to swallow  my grief and give my undivided attention to the living .Bluntly put in a balance scale, the claims of dead  do not and should not matter as against the urgent claims of the living .So i applied this lesson i learnt from my life weighed the consequences and concluded that for the sake of millions living in here in india around me ,[though there is no urgency but the situation was urgent and the  opportunity not easy to come by ],i had to control the natural empathy i feel in tragic situations and  conquer my urge to write in that crucial week.

I kept reading gita and Rama's advise to laxman every day to tackle my emotions as i used to in my first few years of my grief .However , I was clear in my objective and priority.

Even if it wasn't Sonia.g and if it was J'J .or Sushma or any other  Indian politician my stand would have been the same. I examined this aspect  viz xenophobia  honestly and concluded as above..

I only hope that if modi becomes PM his loyalty to his party is confined only to promises made by it to people of India and not any promises it may make to a select few or an individual as it may have happened in S.g's case .If he doesn't we will all be back to square one, the ruinous dyarchy.

I am joining dots.Read news in toi that 'late' last week EC allowed officials to renew the contract with Russia --so it means the deal was hanging fire  till the last moment viz elections
Evening read on net shankara that sg's lawyer in US has decided to take part in the trial or some such thing on Monday--7th
So that means that whole of last week viz 31.3.14.to 7.4 14 was pregnant with the anticipation of my writing my diary or publishing my middle class perception on the mysterious illness of sg with a lot of pressure tactics and i stood my ground.

A pm of this country would have to face pressures constantly specially in foreign affairs ,with a lot of pulls and shoves.It is no joke. I had a taste of it  but mine thankfully is  short lived though  the whole of last week  dragged on and on  and it  felt like a year  and it is only now that  i can breathe easy a bit .But the next pm better be tough, bold independent and be totally focused on securing the nations interest at all times in any given situation.,

written on 8.4.14   9.30.pm

Diary 31.3.14 Diplomacy be damned.

Stayed at home and was tempted to list my activities as i usually do but fear held me back .If wrote the mundane household activities in my very public intnl diary my value as middle class preception would skyrocket

.What a misery.        It is my diary yet every one reads it .Just where will i go to unburden myself?However decided to strictly stay off writing and net till elections start since i do not want to unwittingly give a chance to our shamless opportunistic politicians to cut deals and put our country's needs at peril.
Watched Modi'd speech in Arunachal pradesh.Ah! he was in full steam.It seems that he has derived inspiration from my crazy blog in sujataism2 in which i branded every ruler /politician in India as killers, crooks, cheats and traitors.
Late ight swa news that nancy powell --us ambassdor to india has quit over her mishandling of Dev.k incident etc.So this old woman was roasting me non stop for past 3 months to get my emotional evidence and pure middle classprecption.Good riddance.She and her crazy senile ideas.Hope the new one doesnt pincer me in dk/sg case.

yesterday morning  i wrote a piece where i let of obama and putin but hold our dirty politicians responsible for stalling benifits to milions for the sake of prestige and honour of a single woman- an politicl leader.
True i even gave my much prized midle class preception of the mysterious health problem of sonia .g.That is what my view would be if it was either pshychiatric or cevicial  cancer .so that the US court uses it and allow her in and thus not let her  ,hold the entire country to ransom again and again till that issue is solved .But didnt blog it. [as i add this para  today viz 9 th after  skipping it when i blogged this on 7th i am not going to give the highly prized preception as i am still wary of the political class and their infinite capacity to close ranks. i want that n.deal inked before i part with my preception  ]

Why ?The irritating tapping a signal for me to pour out my emotions and write it . Since i have developed an active distrust to such nudgings i decided to hold back  .May be the deal wasnt off and would be kept alive till the day elections start viz 7 th

My resolve strengthened when the tapping's  the nudging continued on the ceiling .This made me recoil.The more i am arm twisted the more it hardens me . Am i not a conservative Hindu woman and am i not projected as such and which Hindu woman would stomach strange men wantonly peeping into her house?This was  one of the good reasons to strengthen my resolve till i was absolutely sure that my writings will not be exploited to suit a priveleged few as against the needs  of vast not so priveleged masses

Taking in the coolness of the late night from my balcony saw a lot of residents of tenements , men women and even young women returning from work, walking and,trudging about .Tired to the bone after a days hard work.Longing for a good nights rest after watching TV and sleeping under a fan and be fresh to face the next day's work.Simple hard working people fulfilling their cycle of life .I am totally out of this grind and power cuts wouldn't irritate me much .Yet i have unwittingly   have made their life ahead a little bit easier and pleasanter.  The fig trees leaves rustled in the breeze .I am sure there are more people than those leaves in this part of the country and those two days i had the power to determine the power needs of  millions as against the extraordinary power of a few and their desire to circumvent the price of power and i luckily used the power  for the former and am glad that i did it.

MK..Gandhi's oft repeated quote came to my mind 'before taking a decision think how it would affect the poor '.There is no longer the poverty of his days so I'll substitute poor with ordinary people. 

PS i have blogged all this  today 7 th April  though i had earlier wanted to play it safe and blog only on 9 th when in natl timings adjust since  the TV news cnn says  that the black box that is sending pulse will die off tomorrow .And if at all  Obama 's heart should melt and pitch in the resources only his country has on reading my blog then  it should be at this very instant as i blog .Hope he does. Purely humanitarian.
                                      ******************************
    12.4.14
PPs. My instinctive distrust of the politicians in this saga was right .Read today viz--12.4.14 in toi that the nuclear deal was inked only on  thursday viz 10.4.14.That  could mean that cong was still waiting for me to give my middleclass preception of the mysterious illhealth of sg  and have let go only when i reiterated my determination not to give it in  a para  in this very blog on 9th.

Sujata's oath  --i'll never give it .My distrust in  Cong as well as other conniving politicians has become too deep  to be overcome so easily.Simple i just donot know what is at stake ,if it was  that nuclear deal this time it could be something else next time viz lining of pockets of politicians / parties or some other dampener in the path of development .

Once bitten twice shy.

Price of power. 31.3.14

Since i was in the eye of the storm in the Andaman cyclone  370 ,its after effects are still reverberating in me.
Viewing the triangle dispassionately ,today i realise that Obama  whom i cursed in the height of my emotional outbursts and has caught my attention  since then was doing what he did viz cutting deals with our politicians so as to promote his country's interests and so was Putin.

But what our politicians have done wasn't .Frankly all those involved in this plot  have held the entire country at ransom for the sake of the prestige of a single woman.

It reminds of the legend from ancient world history that the  beautiful face of a woman - Helen of troy   launched a thousand ships.When i see all those ships and planes scouting the Indian ocean for that mysteriously so near yet so far wreckage of that ill fated plane which  makes my stomach turn  and anger blurr my vision at the cold blooded nature of diplomacy i wonder whether history has repeated itself.

Holding this country hostage for the prestige of a single woman could very well continue unless that woman and her clique decided never to step into US and let go off magnanimously keeping in view the enormous love and adulation showered on her by teeming millions in her matrimonial home the very basisof the power and prestige as otherwise she would have been just one among the millions a nondecripit home maker .Shopping for vegetables and talking to vendors instead of presiding over conclaves and conversing with foreign dignitaries . 

From my diary----22.3.14 Saturday 6 pm.Felicitations

After writing long long imposition viz my analysis and trying to understand the bizzare andaman triangle into which i was fitted in decided to de clutter my brain and escape from the flat with some shopping so proceeded on to co optex shop to buy curtains,shelving the strange but persistent urge to blog my piece on pm's last laugh.
A group of school girls got off the ptc bus lugging their school bags without a care in the world .The future citizens of india!To them i would be just another middle aged woman walking down the street .
Their laughter and innocence suddeny made me giddy with the importabnce of what i had done and achieved.I had fought a valiant battle against all odds , against conniavance of politicians who shout from the roof tops about providing security and empowerment to women including those who wear patriotism on their lapels , as well as weak kneed politicians from nearby countries ,as well as the complicity of our own govt and the pm and its vast machinery ,to turf one out  from their charmed circle -- a -political leader ,the supremo of Cong who had got caught in a legal tangle in US and every politician here as well there wanted to willy nilly rescue her though it would involve the blatant intrusion of  a foreign country into our own , that is foisting its principle of juriprudence , on me in my country.How dare ?


For the pm who perpetually throws up his hands ,the ukraine crisis provided a golden oppurtunity to finish of his hearts desire before demitting office --take a neutral stand on crimean issue and  and get russis's help in making it accept the new contract which has claim for damages whilst providing nuclear reactors [ the damages clause was what all the opposition parties wanted  here as well] to which russia had shown reluctance to accept till now.and had stalled the project .

How ever dark forces intervened .With re indiction of dev.k , the mystery of the missing plane , a full moon and a emotional  blogger at hand  who could be compelled to write reams with hypnosis and other shady works,an oppurtunity arose to find a escape route to sg .And they worked pretty hard on me to get the emotional evidence to unsuspecting jurors in US  courts  or even congress men to nullify the harsh law with a humane decison.To show what a illiberal place india was   and it had to come from the horses mouth viz me --.a middle class observer.

The more i was worked upon the more i resisted .Some what similar to the attempts and my ordeal in dec last which co incidently also fell on same date viz 8th and 9 th onwards  
.
I did burst out showing how very conservative a society we are as well as my conservativness .For all my knowledge and reading western literature all my life the  long conditioning of generations upon generations will never allow me to go the full hog .This could have turned into sg's favou r if i had not proceeded to rant against obama [ cursing obama was very uncharacteristic of me .why should i ?he hardly figures in my life .so he was deliberately introduced or i was making a link with that similar dec 8 th episode sub consciously]     and list out  assumptions on the basisof articles in net and newpapers which i was forced to make owing to the mystery sorrounding sg's illhealth. since i felt it was unfair of me to cast aspersions on another person's character without being aware of the actual facts.

That did it the deal was off and pm by default was free to claim his laurels .His pliant complicity in this entire affair is obvious  , hence i am in no mood to praise him .In fact i had cursed him and his deputy as well in one of my imposition writings.Again out of the blue.

If i had succumbed on the crucial days--14,15,16 th march [when a decison was awaited to isolate russia ] to presures exerted for the sake of one womans' entry into US  india would have had to support US  [that must be the deal if not why was my diary writing so important and  broadcast internationally and keenly read ?]against russia and in the process suffer a set back in nuclear energy.Russia wouldn't have melted.

The bright faces of the young girls filled me with a warm glow.I have stood up against politicians, natl and internatl  so that these  young saplings the  ordinary citizens  may never see a power cut or grope in darkness in their adult life.

So i achieved something .And it is no mean achievment.

A policeman was training a jet black labrador  , which was totally out of place in the co ptex grounds and several men in gray were standing around . A lot of young policemen barely out of their teens lined the streets and the slum tenements idiot an adoloscent boy was made to run wild in the heavy traffic of the busy mount road .The felicitations from a perverse party.

Just what was i battling both the times at a sub conscious level and refused to surrender ?Cursing obama on 15 -16  shows it was the obama admns !The Americans!Maybe the fighting spirit inherited from my freedom fighter grand father spurted up and refused to submit to foreigners/westerners exercising their legal or admns system over me in my sovereign country.

All our woderful netas connived for their collegue and forgot the duty they owe to their people.

If i wouldnt have stood up this time around those girls may have to study in candle light or be denied the simple pleasure of watching tv and every affected person would chaffe at having to endure powercuts when all netas in unison claim that we are in race for super powerdom!

Those laughing faces of those innocent young girls whose hassle free future was in a way in my hands was my true felicitation

A box office script from real life.--

My very international diary even if some one from us state dept is peeping in i must write to sort the jigsaw puzzle.
Hub switched on tv at 11 am and news was that Devyani  the diplomat who was facing charges of visa fraud  etc in US  was heading back home.Each news on all 5 Eng channels were so contradictory that it simply confused me and seeing this asked hub me to read tuqlaq the Tamil political mag to get the dough on the on going row.
As per tuglaq this row is being pressed with great rigour by Cong because it involves Sonia Gandhi's future trips to US for health purposes, that is a case has been filed by Sikhs in US court and since sg is only  a leader of a political party  she has no diplomatic immunity and in the on coming elections she may not win or her party may not  secure a majority and so she might not get immunity later either ..                                                                               Since Cong cannot openly admit their dilemma ,public image etc,they are trying their best to quash judicial proceedings in US or influence the govt there to let go in devyani case ,maybe making it a precedent  and paving the way for sg's future trips to US.

Now i could make some sense of the news   that US gave dev a visa but asked the diplomatic immunity that Indian govt  as i remember was hurriedly sought to be  conferred upon her after her arrest by transferring her toUN , and US conferred it on 8 th to be waived so that she could be re arrested .Since Indian govt didn't waive she is being sent back that is, the US is  sending the message that she has broken our--US law and that she will be prosecuted as per US laws if she remains or ever returns to the country..

So how does this play out for sg?Maybe like this---Even if Indian govt grants her diplomatic immunity now , if she lands up in US since a case by Sikhs have already been filed there ,the US may grant her visa but would ask the Indian govt to waive the immunity so that sg faces the music viz the court proceedings in the Sikh genocide case   filed in us court by the survivors  for which summons have already been issued and sg had to escape to India when it was served on her there during her recuperation
.
So sg cannot visit US  to get treated for her mysterious ailment [cancer or pshycological?] she is suffering from .and has to get treated elsewhere.Frankly as  a citizen of India do i care where she gets treated or not? Not much.Since she is wealthy and powerful she can go for treatment where she pleases .

OK now why am i so interested  in this drama.Because i felt that my life was greatly entwined without my consent of course in this long event.I suppose all political parties in here and maybe the liberals in US played their role in depicting me as the middle class  voice of Indian public to influence favourably that is in favour of the pawn or the bit player --dev in the deviously devised mega event for the sake of sg , whether it landed on its own or was made to land on the lap ,i have no idea,However it was a teaser ,a trailer for the real matter..--dev  is also the proxy for the real big thing.

Why do i say so?

1. I knew i was being worked upon by pf and co constantly for past one month.The pressure was so high that i instinctively knew that the stakes were very high but couldn't quite put my finger till i read tuglq today and grasped the matter.

2. Till today i didn't know the link between dev and sg and me.i had thought in the first instance that it was to do with Aravind having to decide whether to form a govt or not at Delhi

3. i did link ak's decision and my opinion on the matter to having something to do with US.and thought that
that the US politicians were waiting for me to say that it was public preception that ak should form govt so that they may make lavish grants.But i refused to toe this line even under extraordinary pressure by pf and co.
4. The diplomatic row also broke out in the same time and i remember seeing it first on cnn ibn.and Cong and bjp spoke persons or those panelists in favour of bjp , started enacting the drama of injured national pride on TV A build up of non existent public pressure.This was more for bailing out sg   and not about dev at all.!
5.As i had earlier surmised  on my own owing to the extraordinary pressure i was under since the Delhi verdict was announced the real stake was Delhi and dev was a diversionary tactics [to the middle class tv watching me to lose my alertness] and if sg 's treatment was involved  an  tool to seek revenge if her party and govt could not get me to endorse ak and aap 's clean record.thus succeeding in their attempts to fund civil movts and then make them enter politics and then control the internal politics.

6.Definitely the ruling party is involved.Why? 1.To keep the party in relevance through backdoor ,that is in case they do not make it in coming elections and bjp does such civil movts sponsored from US dollars would come in handy to trouble the opposition 2. Take a cut from the largess that may have followed to keep the aap 's subsidy schemes afloat [in indirect manner]3,Forget the cut maybe  take the fund in dollars to prop up a party  which is similar to it but has jumped ten steps ahead in its costly promises and keep saffron .at bay.

I as  a public of bharat was expected to show my disgust and shock at US behaviour.

Now what did i ,the show piece aam aurat do?, wrote diary after diary [under tremendous and dirty emotional and pshco torture] as was intended to, to provide a escape route to conniving political parties which could also include aap  here, as well as liberals  in US .But i didn't play ball  that is act yes act as the conscientious voice of the nation --the public outcry because i actually and honestly felt the following

1.In ak's case it was upto him to take the call

2.If dev had flouted US laws she has to face the music there.

3. Then i realised that political parties were clearly using me as a pawn a pressure tactic or emotional blackmail in both national and international level and i wasn't one bit beholden by the conferment of this unasked for status.and that i would fight the aroma therapy, micro waves, ultra sounds, hypnosis,lacing my early morning dose of eltroxin a tablet for my hypothyrodism with the truth serum/that salty drug that makes me 'want' to write my diary early in the morning a habit that i have acquired only in past 2 years whilst i am putting on too much weight and losing concentration which i realise now is because i am not getting my regular dose  but am taking a different drug altogether and coming to know of it only today--[13.1.14--this is an addition today after i fought the desire to write about political shenangins,that is my curiosity about sg's ailment and if it was  cancer[as per net news],my preceptions, analysis etc the fall out etc, frankly after that contrived urge passed i am just not bothered now at 10 am as to what ails her and more bothered about procuring authentic eltroxin tablets and how  to keep it away from adulterating hands and get relief for my ailment]  and realised this overwhelming desire to do so was due to that early morning dose of laced eltroxin as well as suggestions into my half wakeful state at bed]  and ignore the hostility everywhere and playing of events that is making total strangers enact luridly and suggestively what i did in the privacy of my bathroom or bedroom to shame me into submission, to the maximum extent possible.and try and stick to my original reaction and views when i read a news item or see it on TV.and not parrot what the political class wanted me to

4. On 20 .12.13 i realised with  a shock that US has direct access to my house .i ll write the excerpts from that diary later.And was really shocked and repulsed at our govts total abdication of its sovereignty for selfish political gains as well as repulsed by y the opposition parties connivance

From illusory web[net--blogging] i have gotten enmeshed in a gigantic global Web in real life.

My real story could beat even Matrix which appears childish at front of what politicians and their side kicks can create to try and achieve their  goals.

Who knows , some fellow in US  or mumbai may make a film based on me and rake billions and give me my fair share a la Erin bronkowich, only i am a lot older .
.
Further i recollect now at 10 .30 pm --10.1.14  that i missed  out mentioning my earlier sentimental blog on 'Surrender' which i blogged  yesterday about how i appreciate a dreaded naxalites surrender putting idealism over violent politics after reading a lot of news items in net that were bent on portraying him a cold blooded killer as some sort of tragic hero struck by conscience conveniently hiding the fact that the police of Chattisgarh had made him surrender.I sort of went along with the syrupy stuff dished out by nearly all msns though  when i first read it as  a news item on newspaper i felt that he had surrendered due to fatigue of a hard and fruitless life in the jungles and nothing more.
Yesterday night i spent a sleepless night and my head cleared[worked upon by pf and co] only after a walk down the streets  and park,and as the fog cleared it dawned upon me that as my blogs and even diary could influence decision makers ,[could be anybody ,but in this case surely US ]  so hurried back home and immediately wrote down my diary at 9.30.am and then blogged it by 10 am ,cancelling my emotional blog on the surrender and clarified my true and honest opinion on the issue[[see my earlier blog]
And at 11 am that day -9 th ,the news broke on tv as i mentioned earlier that dev was heading back to India.

Now ,today at 10 30 pm after watching yet another debate on the diplomat on cnn ibn the coin clicked.Note what i deduce is with the help of that article i tuglaq and the pressure that was put on me non stop .the msns are totally silent on  the underlying current of this whole episode.
ok the coin that clicked was this --maybe US decided not to press charges after reading my naxal blog and granted her diplomatic immunity .The court over there was sticking to its stand of prosecution but maybe just maybe something in diplomactic procedure could have been worked to free her from court proceedings -- setting an precedent maybe on humanitarian grounds  a la obama care for sg as well in future but after i rushed back to clarify [ note i didn't know a thing about sg connection to dev nor did i then associate my blog to US depts decision then] my honest view  at 9 .30 am today they or whom ever [,may be parliamentarians --this is as per tuglaq or even a international jury ]or India or both wanted to show me as a the emotional evidence , realised that what it would be seen through that what i wrote yesterday was clearly under pressure and wasn't my original view.

In this tricky situation the US govt may be[i am joining dots ]  not wanting to go back on the assurance of dropping the charges they hit on the idea of giving the Indian govt the choice to decide her fate by asking them to either waive the immunity and face charges  or frisk her back.we know what happened.
I may have played quite a big role in this dev episode without wanting to.May be i did save her from sure court proceedings but with my subsequent clarification may have aborted  it .
Fine how does this pan for the  more important person --sg as per tuglaq , behind the scenes  involved in this
Not much bothered ,as it is that party's concern.

So this entire dev episode played out in the media could have been carefully choreographed with opposition parties ,diplomats  journos doing their bit for sg either knowingly or unknowingly.
But a shuddh ghee public perception was needed and here is where the blogger sujata morphed into diarist sujata ,the scape goat ,zeroed on and tutored to parrot ,comes in .But after waking up to the reality of my position and resolving not to be exploited as  a pressure factor  and my natural rebellion against excessive coercion  to lie for some body else's sake asserts when the fog clears i quickly set down to correcting and blogging or writing my actual view on the subject.Believe me it is quite indifferent and dry and not all that sentimental humanitarian  hash that i am supposed to be overflowing with.

If there are some gullible viewers in the international community,  especially western countries , the arbiters   on human rights let me make the law of my country viz India very clear.[i have studied law]

1. There is no provision in the Indian law that enables the state to intervene into  a citizens personal life unlike in wn countries, even if such  a person is  certified as mentally ill to give treatment .It is purely left to the family and the individual concerned .Hence even if pf is actually here to cure me [ which has turned exploitative]he is doing it surreptitiously since he has neither the legal or even moral  or religious  right as per Hinduism, the right  to do so.
2.My strict isolation instead of allowing me to socialise resembles more of a house arrest and less of any tangible treatment. Again for the benefit of intl viewers this is being enforced without courts permission .An warrant has never been shown to me or my hub or son.
3.The above two is also not impelled by any altruism since i am being deliberately manipulated to appear as the voice of the Indian middle class whenever the political need arises much against my will.

International jurists with hearts that really bleed  kindly bear the above three in mind whenever my humanitarian write ups are paraded because what was once ,[that is few years back] was voluntary, is now more or less coerced with a definite political motive ..
 ________________
 13./1.14--10 am
 ________________
Maybe i achieved the following from 8 th dec20 13 to 9 th jan 14--

1.Prevented US or any other wn nation or developed nation in interfering in our internal affairs  through the garb of  donating funds  and blocked international donations to prop up the aap with its  super subsidy schemes for years  and thus saved delhi's ruination of its development schemes in future  and thus pave way for any govt which could be bjp or some other party  to form  a govt on grounds of development and sound economics which will pay the bill for subsidies if any, as well for  all those social welfare schemes  for poor ,downtrodden etc that are necessary .It is a question of self respect and self reliance.and confidence in our system to take care of our problems.

2. I would have saved devyani from a sure stint in US prisons .
.
Note all this is political fallout of my principled stand of which i am glad only of the first outcome as i donot want any international busybodies  trifling with our internal affairs and of the second outcome i am not much bothered one way or the other.