concluding excerpts from my diary of 30.5.14 1.30pm --friday.

Frankly change in govt has not changed my precarious and exploitative position in any way .King is dead .Long live the king!
Have been trapped and caught ,it seems for the rest of my life.

Who ever he is [my chief tormentor pf ] one thing is for sure, he is quite soft , no very soft on Nehru/gandhi dynasty.So cannot expect impartiality from this person .

Those who know who he is [in the main part of this diary i have written a long thesis speculating  at this person's  true identity ,will blog later] better be on guard if they truly are in the opposite camp of politics.

There are bound to be mischief's with his continued presence in here in these flats.

Saw news soon after that J.J has decided to meet the new PM.

Excerpts from diary--13.5.14. 7 am

The sun has started to scorch and it has heated me and the environs around so much that i find it sitting on the floor more endurable and healing than sitting on a chair.
The sun is peeping through the sacred leaves of the fig tree and as i watch those tiny leaves with a individulaity of its own flapping in the early morning breeze which is still cool from the left overs of last nights  condensation the nagalinga tree in the park comes to my mind.

I have been walking in that park for the whole of last week to wear  ,tire and divert  me so that i will not be tempted to write even a single word which may trigger a cascade which might provoke the desperate psuedo secularists to undertake gory missions or any other perveted projects to stop the march of psuedo communalists in the final week of the on going general elections.

I observed on 9 th ,that the nagalinga tree's green leaves were slowly turning saffron and the ground beneath was carpeted thickly with ripe saffron leaves ,shed by the tree, whilst pink flowers in profusion had blossemed in full size and were spreading its sweet scent .

I decided to wait till the entire tree turned saffron to write my diary but broke my resolve yesterday after the final elections came to an pecaeful end and here i am at my compulsive writing.

After i wrote and blogged that provocative and controversial piece on how my skin crawls etc i wrote a lot of diary till 6 th which kept me too occupied to go and visit the net. And then i felt a tremendous presure to blog those diary pieces specially the may 6th one  which clearly holds bjp taitorous to its own foot soldiers working for its electoral gain in UP  ,by joining  with cong to secure sg's release by showing their own party men and loyalists as illiberal louts . Or i was supposed  to  write something creative .

The other pieces from may 1 st were also damaging to other political parties  secular credentials and i realised that i was virtually sitting on a time bomb that could  probably damage bjp/modi most.

The usual guilt trap of the killings of illegal migrants in assam was was foisted over me  and i had to fight it.that is publish may 6 th diary to avert further violence , an super imposed image of a humanitarian , the conscience of the nation.If i wanted a strong govt in centre[ . got tired of weak, disspirited and fractious govts] and even if bjp was in the list of my tormentors i decided to hold out ,if possible till may 22 nd and allow the' illiberals 'of bjp to help the' liberal 'bjp to win decisively.

from past experience i know that my 'controversial'[imaginative] writings never provoke or encourage the illliberal rights  to do gory acts but only play out harmless dramas whilst they tend to give ideas or provide the cover for libs, secular politicians  well crafted and pre planned missions to go about thier dirty businesses.
So i decided not to write even a single word till the elections got over.I also reasoned that the real players out there have staked a lot of money ,energy, ambitions etc in this huge process , a political one and i had no business to cause confusion by just sitting and writing in my house.

If there was violence it was for the real players to bear the brunt or carry the cross .

Amazingly this election hasn't witnessed any.I remember that in every general elections there could be clumps of killings up north running in double digits in and around the election booths itself and that would make me wonder as to how contradictory it was to concept of democracy.

In that week i also smelt another trap being laid over me .That of being a champion of human rights  in global level to bring  powerful men across the globe, to heel ,Probably after the andaman trinagle incident my stock has also risen world wide.

Again i found it churlish and indigestible to interfere in diplomacy of countries that their elected leaders are scripting for their people..

This is a power which i can very well do without An power that would would only make me a pawn in the hands of  libs and politicians [.Like that poor kid malala ]..Who would continue to use me to score over their rivals  in here by projecting me as a international figure,with power and influence across the globe and to 'secularise' the illliberals.Another well scripted role.

I am just guessing ,may be obama sent men to nigeria after i wrote that may 6 th piece  but decided against going against his diplomacy when i refused to publish that piece.

It is quite odd.When my entire house is under control ,what prevents those in control to publish whatever piece that would suit their interests?I wouldn't even know of it .Even if i did would they care ?How come suddenly propriety comes only in this matter? or is it to make me realise my sins and repent for them?Just what is my sin?To be myself? An ordinary hindu developing an extra ordinary interest in Hinduism?An ordinary indian  trying to fight for my right to privacy and freedom of expression?
just when did these two become a sin in india?

There are millions like me ,only they donot have a vehicle like my blog or vocabulary or the drive[my son's untimely death] to express their interest in their faith which could be any religion--like i do .And i happen to be hindu .That is all.

Since i didnt publish i was being pressurised to make a symbolic gesture .Visit ghandhi statue in marina beach [robot and a group of womn mouthed it] and then pay a cheque for renewal of a  sri vaishnavaite religious journal by 1 pm yesterday --the last day of elections in UP ,bihar etc [again robot was suitably needled to vociferously persuade me to sign at least the cheque] .
iF i did both i will appear as a non violent conservative having influence over violent conservatives. I clearly do not want this role .I didn't go the beach.I didnt want to sign the cheque before elections got over either .

.How ever under boisterous persuasion of venk i nearly did .As this is only an illusion how could it provoke pseudosecularists to act who may not like my partiality and wreak mayhem? What if they did? Even in illusion and what if illusion merged with reality? Would i stomach the guilt ? never.hence i decided to pay for the mag next week around and didn't sign that cheque.

Again by writing the above para i am risking the trap of being labelled as a human rights activist . I am not a human right activist.i did this, that is excersised control over myself in the battle of wills, so as not to interfere in the democratic political process.
So international and national human rights activists viewers with hidden agendas  get off my back .

The presures --
1. my head felt extraordinarily jumbled up and i had to clear it by hearing to repeated  chanting of Hare rama Hare krishna .
2.Then my left tooth started to ache then it morphed into a cold with fever, body pain cough and running nose.
3, then as the fever left my left arm felt like  a log of wood and had such a terrific pain that i couldnt lift it for 3 -4 days
It left only yesterday morning.
I suppose those who know pshycho  and presure tactics may be able to decipher the above symptoms.I am guessing that these manifested becuase i refused to obey the sub conscious commands given to me under hypnosis

Excerpts from diary --6 th may --17 may.

I am finally blogging the May 6 th diary  till its logical conclusion to 17 the may.Something prevented me from blogging it and i suffered tooth ache , headaches and fever cold and felt my hands go wooden for a couple of days , probably the result of my refusing to submit to presurre tactics to come on net and publish it or write something in my diary .That something is the lack of  my real and truthful view in the un/us gift to delhi and therefoe i kept postponing it.It cleared only on 17 th .I am producing all the contents to the benifit of commoners  which the oligarchs have already read .and made use of .

6 may tuesday --10.30.am.

My parents wedding day .A quiet morn as chanter has left for monthly trip to the 7 hills.
The news in hindu that ukraine was pressing ahead coz of imf is holding back rest of aid till it gains control of En ukr caught my eyes + that ukr was pressing nationalists to assit it.

Didn't Kerry rave and rant about these nationalists misdoings in geneva accord speech?Something clicked and i felt nauseous I had the cake and also eaten it .Something in my genes that puts india first?
In that triangle i botched it and then withstood the presurres and secured the nuclear deal for the present govt that is for people of india
In the third episode tonsure of tormentor + kasi blog i thought i had lost and had let americans in to cretae chaos  when illiberal fascists etc etc --the labels stuck on modi and co takes over next and stop our development .I nearly cried and called obama a chimp out of anger and frustration .
Now that i have sort of unravelled the cold diplomacy that un + us aid for prtection of women in delhi may have been a bonanza to next govt which all have decided to be of bjpso as to counter china's aid arms to maoists [if not how can poor tribals have so many arms?] by tackling the menace to peace and development effectively.
If so i have not on;y helped the govt that is leaving but also that is said to take power and most importantly to people of india.

Why should i bother about india, india etc could be because i am a hindu and feel deeply that every inch of this land is sacred and all its inahabitants specially hindus whether they hate me or like me or  are different from me are my relatives .My religion teaches me that i must a dip in ganga and in rameswaram at least once in my life time .Where on earth can one find the ganges at kasi and the sea at rameswaram?If not in bharat /india?
On the day of marriage my father was a young man of 21 and was already wedded to communist ideals whilst my mother a girl of 15 was already wedded to Indian nationalism and the freedom movt.

12.30.pm--
Had my gf been alive, he an hindu nationalist would have condemned the delay in release of bjp's manifesto that enabled an hindu woman to be tortured so as to turf out an european.
Had my father an commie  been alive he would have reacted imme to the news of gunnig down of bangla deshi migrant muslims with' poor souls' and wouldn't have wiated for a day or two to express it as commies did.
my view--India is not a waste paper basket .stop and send back the illegal mus migrants and not the persecuted hindu migrants--where else  will  hindus go if not to india?But not by violence and killings but by peaceful methods.
And who wouldn't feel sorry for life talken? That young girl swathy's life snuffed away by cowards in morn of may 1 and of others at night in the games that politicians play.i have pieced the bloody plot with help of tv debates and news items and the timing of such items .but i am not divulging them not coz of fear but coz   it is all part of political games with which i want no truck.

15.5.14.
I still have this misgiving allowing U.S  a back door entry.Practically speaking the money is welcome to who ever governs delhi viz aap or bjp.  for freebies to ak and his separatist pals or for strengthening nationalist bjp.It is russian roulette .
My real view.--it doesneedle my self respect to allow a foreign power to gain a foothold on whatever excuse.
To the conservative right the society being illiberal so as to pave way for fgn intervention will be totally unaceptable.I feel sorry for all those idealistic innocent young rightist fans of mine that it was one of my blogs that facilitated this by staining and mocking at thier pride our society and its capacity to reform from within.

17.5.14  10 30 am Saturday.
My first reaction to un/us deal is correct .I didnt like US  gaining sly entry into india under the pretext of women protection.
I am ashamed that  it could have been my  writings of emotional reactions to tricks  and  my blog kasi that unwittingly did this.
I am also sorry for letting down all those ordinary  indians who take pride in thier society  and culture and believe that reforms in society should come from within just as i do and have the firm belief in our society and culture to correct itself  all the inequalities and injustises.

Maybe in the very first episode of devyani /sg it was this deal that was offered in return for release and i had succesfully countered then as well as in the next.

i am ashamed because i lowered my guard .If only i had been alerted and a even a tiny bit of support shown to me ,i wouldn't have let this happen, if at all .So the shame is not mine alone and the blame has to be borne by those who allowed it to happen,if at all they feel the prick of conscience at compromising nations pride and security..

Note :I am not ashamed of the emotions i displayed to the tricks played .They are real reactions and emotions to what was represented to me by tapping into my doubts and making use of the  out of the ordinary events in my secluded life.

Probable links to inatl happenings.

6 -7 may --us decides to help trace girls kidnapped by bokoharam with michelle found 'snuffing'[exact words in news ] of girls ambitions at education  unpalatable.

19 monday  putin decides to pull back from border of ukr and asks ukr and rebels to sort it out..

My real reaction to the deal is, the diary writing of 17 th may .

The general elections --2014

A grand , collosal and hugely expensive and a long winding Indian wedding has come to a nice and peaceful end.
Will a Indian ever miss a chance of participating in festivities?Be it a villaga fair or a marriage,to have fun , socialise and to splurge money?
We all have done just that ,in one of the grandest weddings that had its moments of tiffs and brushes,partook the best of the dishes/speeches from a sumptious buffet and heard the music in each persons heart as they looked forward to the d day and queued up happily and expectantly to gift the power each one was bestowed with to empower the candidates with confdence and interest  in the upcoming new status and the long journey ahead .
 The general elections of 2014 has finally come to an end. what a relief !
                                                           The reason behind my enormous relief  is  that i have never ever before in my life have gotten so involved in politics as deeply i was this time which was mainly due to deployment of persuasive methods viz delusional control-- viz soft violence ,soft or hard it was violence neverthless, for the past 2 years. 

written on 12.4.14.---6.30.pm

The temptress.

The similarity of two episodes of dk/sg ,has struck me.
In both cases Cong was the villain  nay the temptress .

In the fractured Delhi verdict it dangled the carrot of cm post to aravind .k and put him in a dilemma.
To me  it was very clear that he should never have accepted support after waging a much publicised war against corruption at that very same party .Since he did ,he lost the halo in my eyes that very instant.But when i enquired of few youths ,they didn't him mind taking support but frowned upon him for not discharging his cm duties in a proper and effective manner.

In the last week of second episode , i am just guessing , that Cong may have dangled the carrot of liberal makeover to modi /bjp in the eyes of international audiences, that is if he supported italy ki beti --foreigner as against his own much publicised nation first development card when he must have known about that energy deal, that to by torturing a Hindu woman ,he could rise in the eyes f the perverted national and  inter national liberals ,who would have loved the torture of a woman belonging to the conservative brahmin caste  despised by them, would have to undergo to bail out a liberal of a minority class and get rid of fascist , illiberal tag in one go .Or it could also another reason like getting rid of this vexatious problem before he and bjp assume office.Because of the inferiority complex  and diffidence [the result of mocking by supercilious left for decades]that people with rss background seem to feel when in politics and lap up any certificates of good conduct avidly, from international community ,i am guessing that it is the former.

The fact that others in bjp were in this too did not matter to me as much as it did regarding modi,since i piped along with what he said in public like nation first etc,.He fell before my idealistic eyes

Since the entire Andaman triangle is shrouded in mystery as well as bjp's role in it unlike the publicityAK's dilemma  received ,this will go unnoticed ,except for me and those few who are into this.

Except for all those youths who know me personally other large swathe would be bothered only if he fails to deliver on his promises .For this he needs full majority and has to win by landslide victories in both constituencies so as to stamp his authority within and without.If not he must exercise extra ordinary control so as not to compromise on all those basic principles he stands for or projects that he stands for .

Nearly all polpundits are observing this .What makes mine different is that i actually was in the thick of the action and speaking from real experience i under went in  the arena.

In both episodes  i was an important clog .Strange that it was i who was amongst the very few who grasped Ak's and modi's popularity due to my accidental foray into the net which tallied with my family 's admiratio n,over ground [not by net] before others woke up .And i also played a role ,forcibly thrust on me by Cong and some in bjp ,in their attempts to dislodge the halo around my two discoveries, persona!

I donot want a halo around me for somehow weathering the non stop application of Reid technique for 9 days in a more r less solitary confinement by the govt and party , as i am a lone individual without any pulls or pressures  viz party, funds,ambitions of party members etc,that the other two would definitely have .

Since i have suffered personally , roasted alive maximum in both episodes as well in countless before  i hope that modi gets a clear majority so that it gives him the confidence to govern in a straight forward and clean manner,so that i may be spared of this roasting,specially in foreign affairs..

written on -19.4.14. 8.30.am

On the wrong side of power and authority.

The Cong govt needs to be indebted to me for helping them demit office with a good ending to their PMs most important project that of facilitating nuclear energy.But they are so besotted with their chief  and too sunk in despondency to recognise ,what a turn coat who refused to be a sycophant has done for their image.A big boost.

Modi who is from rss stable whose members  take extreme pride in their patriotism and the  undying loyalty they profess for our motherland, must have been chastened at the way an woman that to belonging to a meek brahmin caste , who is also originally from cong[original] stable whom he always looked down upon,attacked on all sides [also his party] stood up for the cause of the nation against all odds, would have been shaken .At least momentarily.

Maybe those last two oaths of the 3 oaths he took do reflect that which i actually put in practise last month and particularly in te penultimate week.

If at all ,my stock could have risen only amongst in those sections of bjp and sang parivar that firmly believes in nation first and politics only next and as well as all those independent observers who are appalled by hte shabby treatment meted to me for daring to question the policies of the Cong/sg's pet schemes  when it was in the height of its power and for sticking stubbornly to my right of freedom of right to express my views in public affairs and Hinduism.

Now that in all probability bjp will form the govt ,i have started picking up fights with them and modi as their role was unraveled to me only recently.

Is it my fate to be on the wrong side of power?

But of one thing i am very sure ,since i have no quarrel with the policies of bjp [they are all nearly identical to mine] no friction will rise on that matter. It may arise only if bjp slips and if i am not suitably diverted by my social life by then, to take notice of it .

written on ---19.4.14 5.30.am

Modi's oath

'I ll spare no efforts to fulfill party's promises' the very first oath of the 3 taken by modi in the release of bjp, his party's election manifesto ceremony kept needling me.The reason being the strange and inexplicable delay of   the major opposition party well known for its systematic orgns and time consciousness and as usual ,that is ,since the devyani episode first erupted  i am viewing this mysterious delay from my point of view.and assuming the following.

Was the delay deliberate to turf out the supremo of the rival party ,that is create anxiety in me --the loner who gets a carried away by TV news , and think that i have the power  to remedy this urgent situation by writing or blogging and thus lose the grip on my determination ,not to write a single alphabet till the elections day and thus provide the escape route to sg?
Could be possible since are all in one charmed circle and very friendly with each other.Even then how could a major party accede to such  selfish requests when they very well knew that by doing so they would be denying the country of a more lucrative deal with the russia?And how did of all people Modi who thunders on and of about putting nation first agree to such a decision?Is he just theoretical or were his hands tied?

I seem to have put into practise that principle -'nation first' -fighting against all odds!This is not to boast about my determination but more to express my dismay at the chink in a man considered by all as well as me to be tough and patriotic. Isn't he from rss stable and aren't they all highly patriotic or so they appear?Really just what do i actually know of rss? And am i actually complimenting modi by distancing him from rss known for its idealism /selflessness and herding him along with the   selfserving pragmatic,and dirty politicians?

The 370 airliner saga kept tugging at my heart and i felt all along [may be nudged constantly] that i could alleviate or shorten the misery of those relatives if i gave sg/Cong+politicians and US what they wanted by writing about the prevalence of conservatism in Indian society--a fact that i do not deny and   to a extent can be gleaned from my earlier blogs in sujataism itself ,because i could connect to their misery but in real life another grave event  cut short my luxury to grieve and taught me to swallow  my grief and give my undivided attention to the living .Bluntly put in a balance scale, the claims of dead  do not and should not matter as against the urgent claims of the living .So i applied this lesson i learnt from my life weighed the consequences and concluded that for the sake of millions living in here in india around me ,[though there is no urgency but the situation was urgent and the  opportunity not easy to come by ],i had to control the natural empathy i feel in tragic situations and  conquer my urge to write in that crucial week.

I kept reading gita and Rama's advise to laxman every day to tackle my emotions as i used to in my first few years of my grief .However , I was clear in my objective and priority.

Even if it wasn't Sonia.g and if it was J'J .or Sushma or any other  Indian politician my stand would have been the same. I examined this aspect  viz xenophobia  honestly and concluded as above..

I only hope that if modi becomes PM his loyalty to his party is confined only to promises made by it to people of India and not any promises it may make to a select few or an individual as it may have happened in S.g's case .If he doesn't we will all be back to square one, the ruinous dyarchy.

I am joining dots.Read news in toi that 'late' last week EC allowed officials to renew the contract with Russia --so it means the deal was hanging fire  till the last moment viz elections
Evening read on net shankara that sg's lawyer in US has decided to take part in the trial or some such thing on Monday--7th
So that means that whole of last week viz 31.3.14.to 7.4 14 was pregnant with the anticipation of my writing my diary or publishing my middle class perception on the mysterious illness of sg with a lot of pressure tactics and i stood my ground.

A pm of this country would have to face pressures constantly specially in foreign affairs ,with a lot of pulls and shoves.It is no joke. I had a taste of it  but mine thankfully is  short lived though  the whole of last week  dragged on and on  and it  felt like a year  and it is only now that  i can breathe easy a bit .But the next pm better be tough, bold independent and be totally focused on securing the nations interest at all times in any given situation.,

written on 8.4.14   9.30.pm

Price of power. 31.3.14

Since i was in the eye of the storm in the Andaman cyclone  370 ,its after effects are still reverberating in me.
Viewing the triangle dispassionately ,today i realise that Obama  whom i cursed in the height of my emotional outbursts and has caught my attention  since then was doing what he did viz cutting deals with our politicians so as to promote his country's interests and so was Putin.

But what our politicians have done wasn't .Frankly all those involved in this plot  have held the entire country at ransom for the sake of the prestige of a single woman.

It reminds of the legend from ancient world history that the  beautiful face of a woman - Helen of troy   launched a thousand ships.When i see all those ships and planes scouting the Indian ocean for that mysteriously so near yet so far wreckage of that ill fated plane which  makes my stomach turn  and anger blurr my vision at the cold blooded nature of diplomacy i wonder whether history has repeated itself.

Holding this country hostage for the prestige of a single woman could very well continue unless that woman and her clique decided never to step into US and let go off magnanimously keeping in view the enormous love and adulation showered on her by teeming millions in her matrimonial home the very basisof the power and prestige as otherwise she would have been just one among the millions a nondecripit home maker .Shopping for vegetables and talking to vendors instead of presiding over conclaves and conversing with foreign dignitaries . 

Fairly good news.

Saw the news that Nancy powell has quit as US Ambassador  to India  owing to her mishandling of dk[sg ]case .So , it was this old woman along with local traitorous political and media accomplices ,who was roasting me for the past 3 months in this vexatious --'prestige issue' viz the free  ingress into US of Sonia.g !Good riddance to her crazy schemes and senile ideas that belittled the sound democratic values of her country as well as of mine .

Hope the new ambassador is not tempted to put the pincer on me  in this vexatious issue..

written and blogged on 1.4.14

disappointing news of the day

That Uma bharathi will not be pitted against Sonia .g in upcoming lok sabha elections.What a let down .I was looking forward to fiery speeches and Uma's victory.

A box office script from real life.--

My very international diary even if some one from us state dept is peeping in i must write to sort the jigsaw puzzle.
Hub switched on tv at 11 am and news was that Devyani  the diplomat who was facing charges of visa fraud  etc in US  was heading back home.Each news on all 5 Eng channels were so contradictory that it simply confused me and seeing this asked hub me to read tuqlaq the Tamil political mag to get the dough on the on going row.
As per tuglaq this row is being pressed with great rigour by Cong because it involves Sonia Gandhi's future trips to US for health purposes, that is a case has been filed by Sikhs in US court and since sg is only  a leader of a political party  she has no diplomatic immunity and in the on coming elections she may not win or her party may not  secure a majority and so she might not get immunity later either ..                                                                               Since Cong cannot openly admit their dilemma ,public image etc,they are trying their best to quash judicial proceedings in US or influence the govt there to let go in devyani case ,maybe making it a precedent  and paving the way for sg's future trips to US.

Now i could make some sense of the news   that US gave dev a visa but asked the diplomatic immunity that Indian govt  as i remember was hurriedly sought to be  conferred upon her after her arrest by transferring her toUN , and US conferred it on 8 th to be waived so that she could be re arrested .Since Indian govt didn't waive she is being sent back that is, the US is  sending the message that she has broken our--US law and that she will be prosecuted as per US laws if she remains or ever returns to the country..

So how does this play out for sg?Maybe like this---Even if Indian govt grants her diplomatic immunity now , if she lands up in US since a case by Sikhs have already been filed there ,the US may grant her visa but would ask the Indian govt to waive the immunity so that sg faces the music viz the court proceedings in the Sikh genocide case   filed in us court by the survivors  for which summons have already been issued and sg had to escape to India when it was served on her there during her recuperation
.
So sg cannot visit US  to get treated for her mysterious ailment [cancer or pshycological?] she is suffering from .and has to get treated elsewhere.Frankly as  a citizen of India do i care where she gets treated or not? Not much.Since she is wealthy and powerful she can go for treatment where she pleases .

OK now why am i so interested  in this drama.Because i felt that my life was greatly entwined without my consent of course in this long event.I suppose all political parties in here and maybe the liberals in US played their role in depicting me as the middle class  voice of Indian public to influence favourably that is in favour of the pawn or the bit player --dev in the deviously devised mega event for the sake of sg , whether it landed on its own or was made to land on the lap ,i have no idea,However it was a teaser ,a trailer for the real matter..--dev  is also the proxy for the real big thing.

Why do i say so?

1. I knew i was being worked upon by pf and co constantly for past one month.The pressure was so high that i instinctively knew that the stakes were very high but couldn't quite put my finger till i read tuglq today and grasped the matter.

2. Till today i didn't know the link between dev and sg and me.i had thought in the first instance that it was to do with Aravind having to decide whether to form a govt or not at Delhi

3. i did link ak's decision and my opinion on the matter to having something to do with US.and thought that
that the US politicians were waiting for me to say that it was public preception that ak should form govt so that they may make lavish grants.But i refused to toe this line even under extraordinary pressure by pf and co.
4. The diplomatic row also broke out in the same time and i remember seeing it first on cnn ibn.and Cong and bjp spoke persons or those panelists in favour of bjp , started enacting the drama of injured national pride on TV A build up of non existent public pressure.This was more for bailing out sg   and not about dev at all.!
5.As i had earlier surmised  on my own owing to the extraordinary pressure i was under since the Delhi verdict was announced the real stake was Delhi and dev was a diversionary tactics [to the middle class tv watching me to lose my alertness] and if sg 's treatment was involved  an  tool to seek revenge if her party and govt could not get me to endorse ak and aap 's clean record.thus succeeding in their attempts to fund civil movts and then make them enter politics and then control the internal politics.

6.Definitely the ruling party is involved.Why? 1.To keep the party in relevance through backdoor ,that is in case they do not make it in coming elections and bjp does such civil movts sponsored from US dollars would come in handy to trouble the opposition 2. Take a cut from the largess that may have followed to keep the aap 's subsidy schemes afloat [in indirect manner]3,Forget the cut maybe  take the fund in dollars to prop up a party  which is similar to it but has jumped ten steps ahead in its costly promises and keep saffron .at bay.

I as  a public of bharat was expected to show my disgust and shock at US behaviour.

Now what did i ,the show piece aam aurat do?, wrote diary after diary [under tremendous and dirty emotional and pshco torture] as was intended to, to provide a escape route to conniving political parties which could also include aap  here, as well as liberals  in US .But i didn't play ball  that is act yes act as the conscientious voice of the nation --the public outcry because i actually and honestly felt the following

1.In ak's case it was upto him to take the call

2.If dev had flouted US laws she has to face the music there.

3. Then i realised that political parties were clearly using me as a pawn a pressure tactic or emotional blackmail in both national and international level and i wasn't one bit beholden by the conferment of this unasked for status.and that i would fight the aroma therapy, micro waves, ultra sounds, hypnosis,lacing my early morning dose of eltroxin a tablet for my hypothyrodism with the truth serum/that salty drug that makes me 'want' to write my diary early in the morning a habit that i have acquired only in past 2 years whilst i am putting on too much weight and losing concentration which i realise now is because i am not getting my regular dose  but am taking a different drug altogether and coming to know of it only today--[13.1.14--this is an addition today after i fought the desire to write about political shenangins,that is my curiosity about sg's ailment and if it was  cancer[as per net news],my preceptions, analysis etc the fall out etc, frankly after that contrived urge passed i am just not bothered now at 10 am as to what ails her and more bothered about procuring authentic eltroxin tablets and how  to keep it away from adulterating hands and get relief for my ailment]  and realised this overwhelming desire to do so was due to that early morning dose of laced eltroxin as well as suggestions into my half wakeful state at bed]  and ignore the hostility everywhere and playing of events that is making total strangers enact luridly and suggestively what i did in the privacy of my bathroom or bedroom to shame me into submission, to the maximum extent possible.and try and stick to my original reaction and views when i read a news item or see it on TV.and not parrot what the political class wanted me to

4. On 20 .12.13 i realised with  a shock that US has direct access to my house .i ll write the excerpts from that diary later.And was really shocked and repulsed at our govts total abdication of its sovereignty for selfish political gains as well as repulsed by y the opposition parties connivance

From illusory web[net--blogging] i have gotten enmeshed in a gigantic global Web in real life.

My real story could beat even Matrix which appears childish at front of what politicians and their side kicks can create to try and achieve their  goals.

Who knows , some fellow in US  or mumbai may make a film based on me and rake billions and give me my fair share a la Erin bronkowich, only i am a lot older .
.
Further i recollect now at 10 .30 pm --10.1.14  that i missed  out mentioning my earlier sentimental blog on 'Surrender' which i blogged  yesterday about how i appreciate a dreaded naxalites surrender putting idealism over violent politics after reading a lot of news items in net that were bent on portraying him a cold blooded killer as some sort of tragic hero struck by conscience conveniently hiding the fact that the police of Chattisgarh had made him surrender.I sort of went along with the syrupy stuff dished out by nearly all msns though  when i first read it as  a news item on newspaper i felt that he had surrendered due to fatigue of a hard and fruitless life in the jungles and nothing more.
Yesterday night i spent a sleepless night and my head cleared[worked upon by pf and co] only after a walk down the streets  and park,and as the fog cleared it dawned upon me that as my blogs and even diary could influence decision makers ,[could be anybody ,but in this case surely US ]  so hurried back home and immediately wrote down my diary at 9.30.am and then blogged it by 10 am ,cancelling my emotional blog on the surrender and clarified my true and honest opinion on the issue[[see my earlier blog]
And at 11 am that day -9 th ,the news broke on tv as i mentioned earlier that dev was heading back to India.

Now ,today at 10 30 pm after watching yet another debate on the diplomat on cnn ibn the coin clicked.Note what i deduce is with the help of that article i tuglaq and the pressure that was put on me non stop .the msns are totally silent on  the underlying current of this whole episode.
ok the coin that clicked was this --maybe US decided not to press charges after reading my naxal blog and granted her diplomatic immunity .The court over there was sticking to its stand of prosecution but maybe just maybe something in diplomactic procedure could have been worked to free her from court proceedings -- setting an precedent maybe on humanitarian grounds  a la obama care for sg as well in future but after i rushed back to clarify [ note i didn't know a thing about sg connection to dev nor did i then associate my blog to US depts decision then] my honest view  at 9 .30 am today they or whom ever [,may be parliamentarians --this is as per tuglaq or even a international jury ]or India or both wanted to show me as a the emotional evidence , realised that what it would be seen through that what i wrote yesterday was clearly under pressure and wasn't my original view.

In this tricky situation the US govt may be[i am joining dots ]  not wanting to go back on the assurance of dropping the charges they hit on the idea of giving the Indian govt the choice to decide her fate by asking them to either waive the immunity and face charges  or frisk her back.we know what happened.
I may have played quite a big role in this dev episode without wanting to.May be i did save her from sure court proceedings but with my subsequent clarification may have aborted  it .
Fine how does this pan for the  more important person --sg as per tuglaq , behind the scenes  involved in this
Not much bothered ,as it is that party's concern.

So this entire dev episode played out in the media could have been carefully choreographed with opposition parties ,diplomats  journos doing their bit for sg either knowingly or unknowingly.
But a shuddh ghee public perception was needed and here is where the blogger sujata morphed into diarist sujata ,the scape goat ,zeroed on and tutored to parrot ,comes in .But after waking up to the reality of my position and resolving not to be exploited as  a pressure factor  and my natural rebellion against excessive coercion  to lie for some body else's sake asserts when the fog clears i quickly set down to correcting and blogging or writing my actual view on the subject.Believe me it is quite indifferent and dry and not all that sentimental humanitarian  hash that i am supposed to be overflowing with.

If there are some gullible viewers in the international community,  especially western countries , the arbiters   on human rights let me make the law of my country viz India very clear.[i have studied law]

1. There is no provision in the Indian law that enables the state to intervene into  a citizens personal life unlike in wn countries, even if such  a person is  certified as mentally ill to give treatment .It is purely left to the family and the individual concerned .Hence even if pf is actually here to cure me [ which has turned exploitative]he is doing it surreptitiously since he has neither the legal or even moral  or religious  right as per Hinduism, the right  to do so.
2.My strict isolation instead of allowing me to socialise resembles more of a house arrest and less of any tangible treatment. Again for the benefit of intl viewers this is being enforced without courts permission .An warrant has never been shown to me or my hub or son.
3.The above two is also not impelled by any altruism since i am being deliberately manipulated to appear as the voice of the Indian middle class whenever the political need arises much against my will.

International jurists with hearts that really bleed  kindly bear the above three in mind whenever my humanitarian write ups are paraded because what was once ,[that is few years back] was voluntary, is now more or less coerced with a definite political motive ..
 ________________
 13./1.14--10 am
 ________________
Maybe i achieved the following from 8 th dec20 13 to 9 th jan 14--

1.Prevented US or any other wn nation or developed nation in interfering in our internal affairs  through the garb of  donating funds  and blocked international donations to prop up the aap with its  super subsidy schemes for years  and thus saved delhi's ruination of its development schemes in future  and thus pave way for any govt which could be bjp or some other party  to form  a govt on grounds of development and sound economics which will pay the bill for subsidies if any, as well for  all those social welfare schemes  for poor ,downtrodden etc that are necessary .It is a question of self respect and self reliance.and confidence in our system to take care of our problems.

2. I would have saved devyani from a sure stint in US prisons .
.
Note all this is political fallout of my principled stand of which i am glad only of the first outcome as i donot want any international busybodies  trifling with our internal affairs and of the second outcome i am not much bothered one way or the other.

Image makeover

In pursuance of my abuses at my on line activity being fettered in the hacked ad bar ,in pursuance of instantaneous transference of this string of abuses to  far far off shores  viz us,in pursuance of the abrupt demitting of a ex judge ,in pursuance of my raising the banner of revolt [after realising only after 1 and half years] against being so callously used by all and sundry and political managers as pressure point to those in dilemma in national and international issues and writing it in my very public private diary, i very warmly welcome the two moves in the ruling camp the very next day.

The rushing of real  young sister to the aid of the brother thus reliving this unreal  sister[who is quite old and actually out of touch ]   of her burden to emote on young women's issues.
second the decision to hire an agency for image makeover at 300 crores!.I need no longer hopefully ascend or descend in emotional scales so as to stoke aggression  or stir compassion
Just how much did i cost?must be dirt cheap.

Suggestions borne out of experience.

1. Deploy an army of net users to find a blueblooded Aam aurat like me and then land this experienced troupe in her vicinity--shadily of course to maintain her unsullied public perception image  and make her regrugriate her views on all matters in constant regularity , with special emphasis on foreign policy .An abusive one would do a good job in ranting against irksome foreign powers.

2.Find a history buff ,preferably a loner with a stubborn streak in maintaining a blog on Hinduism and land a similar troupe in the vicinity of this person's house [such bloggers are dime a dozen ]and get  confessional rabid communal blogs periodically that would stymie the arch rivals camps secular overtures whose followers overwhelm the net.
Note ; ppts .you all landed on my house to teach me a lesson for swimming against the tide  .Now with the result in Delhi and anointment of the untouchable tell me who was actually  swimming against the tide?
note;Further with my contamination due to constant forcible contact with you all  i too have become more or less like you all --losing the grasp of things.

Tsunami averted on tsunami day.--politics.

Is the verdict giving a clean chit to modi in zakaia case a moment to rejoice for modi and his fans as all msms and libs are dinning ?
Viewing this from a purely political point of view [with my unique way of processing  events  which is why i am in this crazy set up] this verdict has in one swift move removed the victim hood of the hindutva icon,who was literrally deified in UP recently which even to my limited knowledge and interest of electoral politics  that is seats etc, is the key state in determining as to who would rule india.

This verdict of cbi court is definetly a relief in small measure   to cong and detractors who can feel relieved that  in some measure an tsunami of sympathy wave that may have been unleashed.in a crucial state has been averted.                                                                                                                                                     With regard to aap it is my view that cong and libs will prop it up come what may by pumping money for all those poll promises to be kept  for gaining a toe hold in north as well as to trim any excessive power that m could acquire in a re- election.

Politics i am learning is a painful thinking process that involves .taking stock of all probabilities and then  acting .An scientific gamble.

Note :If i sound crude it is because my initiation into politcs 1 and half years back was very crudely done and since then i have been repeatedly exposed only to the very dirty and bloody underbelly of politics.

Realisation --diary written on 20 .12.13 -8am

The very fact that what i write personally  in my house is selling like hot cakes amongst politicians and media and what i bellow in anger in my drawing room is keenly heard by many a political ears and  my fast running thoughts  are constantly jaw read from above and neiboring flats as well as by an army of  constantly shadowing locals, as well as professionals where ever i go testifies to the fact that it is my emotions as opposed to my reasoning that is in great demand ,specially in the politcal class.

This explains my deliberate isolation to frustrate me in even having small social contacts with people around --neighbours,vendors ,relatives,pedestrians etc [like a open air solitary confinement -which perverted/autocratic mind devised this reminisent of kgb rule in stalinist ussr and more recently like despotic human right activists of western country mindset?] accompanied by constant hostility [which is obviously tutored but it does get on one if followed non stop for 2 years] to provoke me to display emotions either in writing or in speech or both..It is a pity that no one has the guts to stand upto the authorities and even if they do ,are not much  bothered about me..
Ofcourse the dominant partner in this unholy alliance would prefer that i restrict myself to verbal venting and not write it down --Naturally to cut losses.

Ok this diary writing is not for probing the unfanthomable devious intentions of politicians [by doing so  is only turning my once black hair, white and nothing more is coming out of it]but to list down the probables who could be influenced to talk  decisions with the help of my emotions.

1. Women in power [ofcourse] Specially those who are depressed at large part of time or at a given point of time ,who are therwise extremely busy and socially active.
2.Old men who  once held a lot of power  but now doddering on senility , isolated due to advancing age  and therefore emotionally vulnerable.Again at specific times.Of late even men of my age or a decade older and losing the grip are influenced.
3. Men  a decade or so younger than me .This category truly mystifies me.They are well educated, uptodate with happenings around ,well read ,more than me and yet my emotions touch them specially when they feel cornered or when their confidence is shaken
Just how do they relate to me is truly puzzling.Mind you this bunch belongs to all shades of opinions and idealogies and at times in direct opposition to each other.
The former two category is understanadable --age, nerves etc but this 3 category   a confident lot in thier very prime should beinfluenced by me puzzles me and made me try and solve it  early in the morning today.

Could it be that i appear to be in their generation?Same Popular culture, general knowledge,philosophical musings etc ,yet one step ahead in taking a firm stand which they would like to but are hesitant to do so?The typical dominant ,reckless yet vulnerable sibling or friend or alter ego?
Any way the people cookers who have already observed my influece are using me to emote suitably.Now who is a caged parrot in this embroiligo though this should also clarify to all as to who is actually ruling India.Political advisers with their caged parrots.

My innocuos middle class  neighbours   from this flat complex tucked away in south ,driving in thier two wheelers ,seemingly leading an ordinary citizens life are either facilitating decisions or even actually making decisions that affects this country  for all those super busy worthies  living in super spendour  in super sanitised areas ,who in time of political crisis crave for a feel of the dust , grime and grind of ordinary folks[ mine is artificialaly made] to steady them.

My luck,no no it is ill luck that i have been caught in this trap.If RG jumps with joy that he had empowered an ordinary citizen like me i 'd like to splash some cold water --facts--on this myth .I am no ordinary citizen
resaons
1. My family background--political and scholarship
2.My education.
3.Financial independance
4.My grief and resultant blogging.

I was already empowered  .This shady going ons is an attempt to curb it.

If all this imposition writing i am doing like one posessed is somehow to trap me into influencing ak to form a govt , my decision when my emotions were originally tapped into remains firm and the original one-viz--To form or not to form a govt is a decision only ak has to take by himself..


All those intelligent journos etc reading this make your connections with the gist in earlier blog.

Redeeming the trust reposed.

For the past 2 weeks i had been put under extra ordinary pressure by people cookers at the behest of their masters --politicos and media.
My nights were spent tossing in the bed and days sped in a  incoherent daze and in writing reams and reams of confessions .Only last night i finally got some respite --a few hours of undisturbed sleep when the b------- switched off their gadgets  let go off their mind controlling techniques.

Here is a list of dates of my compulsory involvement.in the aap drama.

From 8 th itself my mind was constantly tapped with suggestions that fell in place only as and when i spoke to my son over the phone on 9 th evening .It was to gauge my view that is at a very deep ,deep subconscious level as to what i actually thought that Aravind k should do now,after bjp had decided not to form a govt[before going to lg].That night as i slowly drifted into sleep i said to myself[remember pf and co can jaw read ] it is up to Ak to decide.

I suppose this totally detached view wasn't in the line of thinking of the politicos/media who kept putting more and more presurre which would make me write ad trap me into taking a stand .

As the Delhi dead lock continued i fought the temptation to broker  a deal between A.K and bjp .A gust of  chilly wind  of early night blowing on the terrace sobered me with the realisation that for all my power over the net ,it would be unfair to use it over all those persons and parties who have actually toiled on the ground expending money, energy and time with fond dreams and objectives.So i refrained from attaching the alluring tag of 'Honest broker' to my accomplishments.

A few more days passed and just like the public that has a short memory i observed aloud that it was better for ak to form a govt and fulfill his promises if he wanted to retain the trust of the public.
I neither wrote this nor blogged it busy as i was writing impositions after impositions on totally unrelated topics.It was so tiring that blogging was impossible. The pitfalls of over dose  of pressure tactics that a hard pressed people cookers overlooked in their eagerness to deliver.

Finally i wrote the view of a fatigued public in my diary on 17 .12.13--10 pm .I suppose i was expected to blog this .i didn't .Earlier that day i had written in my diary about me  as a sister would not poke her nose in a married couples life as to whether they wanted a child and if how they would go about it [test tube baby etc] .This could have given ak [who also reads my diary,so how clean is he?] the idea of forming the govt [child]after  holding a referendum. pf  succesfully wrangled out an idea.

Since the pressures over me  were building up [god knows ,who and what gave me strength to endure such brutality ]i decided to stay away from the net so as 1. not to get confused 2. not to give any indication to ak and co or ppts  that would be contrary to my view the original one that ak has to decide for himself.I will have nothing to do with it.

Why was i firm in this view.?

Reasons.
1. When he and others were  activist i gave them  moral support  as i didn't want to be the one dampen the   enthusiasm of the young,idealistic and naive net users to the anna movt  who were turning a indifferent eye to foreign funding, tax evasions , financial irregularities ,etc of the leaders of this movt.Even if i did,that is attempted to open their eyes to the futility of yet another law [lokpal]to eradicate corruption and that  their leaders were all not saints and totally above suspicion like all the well informed journo's , bloggers were pointing out  then itself ,they wouldn't have been in a mood to hear.Time pounces on every one and the freshness of youth is not ever lasting.But now the stakes are too high.The person and once activists will be in a position of responsibility with resources of the state and people in their command and this makes me baulk that is shy away at the very idea of pronouncing them clean since with all the info available that points otherwise i am unable  in a basic level  to view them as incorruptible or honest or financially above board.as they are projecting themselves to be and therefore would rather that the trusting youngsters digest the bitter pill ,that i am administering--viz-truth. right now itself..

2. was disappointed when ak and co  chose politics over activism by forming a party but respected his decision that could have been the true fruit of his desires and ambitions.Maybe my blog at that 'fast' to end the futile and life threatening exercise may have crystallised this decision .

3. My disillusionment was complete when instead of being a clean politician committed only to cleansing up the system he trod the typical crass pseudo secular politicians path by wooing highly controversial  and avoidable elements in minority community.

Hence i couldn't get myself to give ak a clean chit which was what the ppts [may be from all  political parties] were demanding from me.
So this clean blogger refused to certify this mega creature of the net that had taken real shape[aap]on terra firma.

Again why did i hold back with such persistence ?I could have blogged and secure my release from that never ending psycho torture and felt free  much earlier as i do now ,today..
Reason.

1.My entire being ,down to the very sub conscious level rebelled against this  illegal unconstitutional and simply crazy intrusion into my house and my privacy and refused to submit to coercion how ever helpless i may be ,that is totally isolated and cornered without evidence to fulfill some dirty politicians/medias totally selfish agendas. If i hadn't so grossly meddled with i might have written just what the adjustment bureaus wanted ,on my own.                                                                                                                                                                    2.My initiation into the the net world was due to my late son who was a centrist tilted to the right , patriotic, incorruptible, hard working and also enjoying weekends , idealistic and altruistic.The recognition i got through the net was the fruit of his endeavour to bring to the public his mother's [me] abilities .An mother whom he knew would never lie to him how so ever trying circumstances she may be in .And i had to redeem that trust come what may.To hell with shceming politicians ,let them do what they like  with me but i' ll not give in try my best to weather it out.

Now net has become irrelevant.My diary was and is.Since both has merged --public and private space, the battle of nerves was getting tougher and tougher each day.So when ever i as tricked into writing i somehow realised the true purport for making me write --to give a clean chit , a certificate of validation to a typical politician --ak--who was fooling the public by acting like a clean activist .Had he been truly a honest  politician or a clean activist he wouldn't have dilly dallied this long to arrive at  a decision..

After my early morning writing on 20 th  pf  spoke in a voice [from his balcony above] that was curiously flat [at least he informs me , small mercies].Exhibiting his disappointment at the lack of fruition of that night long pshyco tortures and orders.

Why? just what is stake in here?Was it in any way connected to US state depts decision to proceed with legal proceedings  that was hanging fire against that woman diplomat ?Robot like i immediately switched o n tv news and read the breaking news that state dept [some young man] was going ahead with its rules .That diplomat  showed the indian politicians their place.Serves them right. Were the politicos drumming up public outrage theory to score some diplomatic points and secure electoral advantage and i threw cold water on that manufactured media rage?That means even foreign media or even worse foreign countries are having  a  direct access to my house .On that day too i had reiterated that i wouldn't intervene in ak'a decision and had mentioned about caged parrots .

Or is it even more sinister ? That US had of late started engineering and encouraging civil rights movts  in developing countries to cause confusion in such countries[read it on net] and then later make such movts enter politics so that it can indirectly control such countries through their activists turned politicians- puppets?
Was ak movt one such? And  a clean apolitical  member of public, or activist --like anna -- or in my case a  clean blogger  certificate of probity was needed to affix a sincere stamp of approval[did anna distance himself on coming to know about this?] so that several such spontaneous risings can be funded to embarrass the country as well as the party in power?The next could very well be bjp and next some one else but the fact that could be is that the sovereignity of our state constitution and laws could be seriously compromised insidiously.

If so i gave the message that day itself to US as well as to all those selfish and unpatriotic root less Indian politicians of all hues clinging to it in fond hope of power and pelf  to just get lost ,don't meddle in our affairs by sticking to my stand that ak wasn't squeaky clean .

At the end of this long fortnight  of intense pressure applied to me i am glad that i found the strength not to betray the trust my late son[ which would also include all those young viewers with similar views and ideals] had reposed in me by standing it out.

   *******************************************************************************
27.12.13
The irony of it all cannot be lost on my regular viewers and to myself.Last may --june  ie in 2012 i was hounded by political parties for having blogged in favour of anna movt as well as supporting ak and co and tried their level best to make me join a political party and to stop blogging now for the past 15 days i was incessantly hounded by the same set for not blogging  after joining a political party or even writing in my diary in favour  of ak and co!I am living and shining example  to the extent the major national political parties are willing to go to seek validation for themselves and to push their selfish interests..
Further if ak and co were like the cong decades ago  viz making a lot of noise about corrupt ion i was like and am like bjp that was decades ago viz spreading hinduism[mine genuine interest but politicos are trained to see only politics ] and hindutva pretty thick in my blogs.
But both parties changed over time and were clearly embarrassed at our respective tenacity of purpose and  to top it all our mutual backscratching,mine  over the net .So an concerted psycho warfare was launched to bring both the non violent activists to the main stream of politics.
The former succumbed first owing to inherent ambition but the latter held on for quite some time and also succumbed owing to humanitarian considerations.Water finds its source .Ak with all his protestations is actually comfortable with nehruvian cong and i found my way to bjp due to basic ideological confluence.
How typically masochistic of us both to join the respective groupings that hounded us in the first place.!A victory to big two.It is also a victory to the mini  two's.
However tiresome and irksome we may be neither of the big two can wish away their [original] mini me's.[As activists we could have been handled with more nicety and diplomacy or simply ignored.]

At least it holds good for me.By intruding into my activist life and  by deliberately blurring the private and public space it is the party's [to which i have joined] 'duty' to either to bear with me or exercise the right to remove me from the party formally.because ill stick on without foregoing my individual identity.There is no q of defection ,etc.

Comunal violence bill.

Read an  article on communal violence bill on the net.

On  reading the several provisions referred to in it, the bill appears to be very draconian and very very heavily loaded in favour of minorities and very very heavily loaded against the majority community which in here means Hindus.Is this the present govt's answer for pota? A tit for tat?

I was  ruminating and analysing the political fall out if this act came into force.

Its immediate benefit would be for Cong and other Secular parties ---that is minority wooing parties in extremes by foisting a sense of security[false] and the  feeling of being avenged, on minorities who would register their gratitude at the time of voting.
But in the long run this bill could prove to be the nemesis of Cong and pseudo secular parties[this is only an assessment not prediction and nor am i looking forward to such a scenario, though i am more or less a rightist]

1. Riots occur in lower startas of society . The segment that votes religiously.If this bill is pressed into action with the usual over enthusiasm that characterise these parties these days, so as to make them turn a blind eye to real situation  ,resentment will build up amongst the Hindu -viz majority to such an extent that they would lose trust in these parties and their resentment could boil over to the streets and could make them boycott these parties for ever.

2. The middle class is never involved in riots due to its natural abhorrence to blood shed and violence.So that part of the bill will not touch it. But if the forced integration the  lofty  notion of idealistic few living,  away from ground realities ,history [both communities have learnt not to tread on each others toes  ,having fought ,lived and adjusted with each other over the centuries] and sensitivity to religious beliefs , that this bill envisages that is dictating as to whom a person should rent his house etc would touch a very raw nerve.Not only at the blatant encroachment on the fundamental right to property that every civilised nation guarantees its citizens but also on equally  dangerous and sensitive issue, that of core religious beliefs and practises.

 Cut to the basics most Hindus [ unlike me and others living along with Muslims] are extremely finicky in their eating habits.Generally A veg Hindu will not let out his house to another Hindu if he is a non veg or even live near his house Then how will he tolerate minorities  with eating habits that goes against the basic religious belief  that of according a deep respect to cows , and the taboo against consuming its flesh , digest?An taboo religiously followed even by non veg Hindu.Wasn't it the greased cartridges which triggered the 1857 mutiny [,that is, it was the immediate cause apart from others] and didn't the Britishers become wiser after the event and restrained themselves from interfering in the socio religious practises of its colonial subjects with commendable restraint?

This forcible integration would breed resentment specially against the party that spear headed the bill The sense of betrayal and being short changed would bring a back lash that will be shown  at the elections..

3.The bjp which has no dilemma, guilt or shame of its  Hindu heritage which is basically secular and if it does not resort to excessive appeasement of minorities for sake of votes ,a trap that Cong has fallen into which is actually pleasing none, would become the natural gainer.

Acting as a rightist i shouldn't be pointing out all this .Just keep mum or make the right noises and secretly jump with joy at the prospect of rich harvesting of votes this bill would bring one day or the other to bjp.

As a blogger i am merely reacting.

And as one stuck in memory of Cong during my grand fathers time i feel sorry for the suicidal course it seems bent on taking by distancing itself more and more from its original confident [and not self effacing] secular Hindu moorings and edging closer and closer to be labelled as very partisan with its balance tilted to such an extreme that it could be one day called as  ,Muslim party of India and lose its much touted inclusive tag.  .

Restoration.

Read the news that Foreign' hand' has been replaced by' red faced natives'    in the old old paper bearing the name of the majority religion.
The foreign hand had made the paper sort of interesting and open to debates similar to its main rival.

Would restoration imply that it would entail reading real intellectual pieces which was its signature long long ago?

Full form of vip.

I read this article in toi today [11.10.13]morning in which a' aman ki aasha 'fanatic has given a humorous interpretation  or full form ,  the wry variety  to the abbreviation of VIP.I'd like to chip in with my own full forms derived solely from my personal experiences and grasp.They are---

1. Very intrusive persons
2.Very intimidating persons/politicians
3.Very inhuman persons/politicians
4. Very indecent politicians
5. Vastly illusive preceptors
6. vested interest politicians
7. vigorous in preservation [of self and pelf specially by politicians]
 8. Vekkame [shame in Tamil] illadha [lacking it] politicians.

written on 11.10.13  .9 am

All in all.

Three news that stirred me.
1. Capture of the head of im that was responsible for several bomb blasts across India that resulted in tragic deaths in huge numbers.
2. Neutralising of maoists who were responsible for the  death of political activists belonging to Cong  party at chattisgarh
3.The recent capture of ul umma terrorists who were responsible for the heinous murder of  auditor Ramesh of bjp and other hindu activists based in Tamilnadu.

All three affirmative action sends the firm message that ideaogical and political differences  should not settled by taking to violence and that the mighty hand of the law will come down heavily upon those doing so.

There is also an underlying message visible to me .That our intels are doing their jobs very well and security forces are brave and courageous and that the fruition of their efforts and abilities can be had only if there is political will.
Hope that this important 'will' ensues  and ensures that the terrorists who have shown  ruthlessness in their   extreme indifference to others life  receive the severest of  punishments.

Wishing well, the brave police officer who was severely injured by the terrorists at puttur ,and that he makes a  speedy recovery. 

Experiments with my emotions and the compulsive obssesion with its results.

I suffered indignities in the hands of a tailor whilst taking my measurements ,who is long known to me [, clearly acting under orders,yet ]which   made me fly into a rage on 25.9.13 and then wrote about it in my personal diary on 26.9.13 in the morning which is available for immediate  public viewing by all the bigwigs  so i am not going into the details.To be a successful politician or roaring journo or highly circulated newspaper one should not have  that normal feeling known as shame or feel even the tiniest prick of conscience and follow the policy 'all of yours is mine but mine is only for myself.
                                                                                                                                    
And then analysed its political angle and concluded that --'the presumption forming the basis of a long analysis is that shop has affiliations dmkand since that party is well known in here for anti Brahmini'sm and harassing Brahmin women as well  and that it couldn't have Cong affiliations since that party is known for its decency and moral standards in public life wouldn't stoop so low , but oops that was the image of that party in the past which by force of habit  i had forgotten and it could and must have changed now.'

Evening read news that youngsters in Cong were against ordinance.

27.9.13  noon was reading toi .How they had started the campaign against that ordinance overturning SC 'decision on criminals in politics and about how modi had  reffered to the deaths of jawans and the indifference of our pm to attend a banquet with pak pm in us.Today is malaya paksham ,a day one offers shradha to even strangers ,but whose death touches us .Those young soldiers in their 20's death for this country touched me .When i am fanned i reach for the remote dozen time as a day to read the barking news unlike in my earlier habit and desire to see only films or discovery etc.And so i did soon after lunch and lo behold the great news was  of the' protected species' raging in the press club over his own ordinance, was breaking! I made a connection with my reading that article in the  paper.
three things arise--

1. What i say or read at the height of my emotions fanned deliberately especially after a small prayer or puja acts as a trigger to some one very high up to come to a decision.This could be a incurable obsession [well hidden from public gaze]which is being exploited by a coterie to push for change and cleansing and re inventing the old old party .If so who is this coterie.
2. I could be deliberately set up  ie hound me on one hand and also make me aware of my indirect role in the policies of Cong party, in some of them and thus make me feel wanted and important and thus make me surrender not defect since no one is taking my membership of bjp seriously, at the lily white feet.

So why am i not doing so After all  i am born and bred amongst ghandhi topees at least in my formative years?

1. My self respect.I should be invited or at least asked to do so instead of being coerced.i suspect even bjp tried doing it but i joined it for different reasons mentioned in earlier blogs.The more i am hounded and treated as a sub human the more i am hardening.

2.Definitely if i fall on the feet i'll be kicked around even more furiously  for ideas by those who should be naturally possessed of  to lead  this country but seem to be lacking and by that very logic are unfit to rule. It is natural for any woman to  plump any day to be protected by a strong person with sound and good convictions than be burdened with the thankless and insipid job of protecting a highly protected persons

3. Since both Cong and bjp are hands and gloves in this indecent , illegal intrusion into my life it is meaningless to do so.Like i said the harassment and disrespect will not stop it will only be private and i wont even have the luxury to lighten my woes through this blog..

I suppose the gimmick of rubbishing the ordinance is a knee jerk reaction to the rally of clean Mr modi at Delhi [on 29 th]--the focal point of civil society movements that frightened the unclean political classes en mass 2  year back and also made them land at my flat. '