Excerpts from diary --6 th may --17 may.

I am finally blogging the May 6 th diary  till its logical conclusion to 17 the may.Something prevented me from blogging it and i suffered tooth ache , headaches and fever cold and felt my hands go wooden for a couple of days , probably the result of my refusing to submit to presurre tactics to come on net and publish it or write something in my diary .That something is the lack of  my real and truthful view in the un/us gift to delhi and therefoe i kept postponing it.It cleared only on 17 th .I am producing all the contents to the benifit of commoners  which the oligarchs have already read .and made use of .

6 may tuesday --10.30.am.

My parents wedding day .A quiet morn as chanter has left for monthly trip to the 7 hills.
The news in hindu that ukraine was pressing ahead coz of imf is holding back rest of aid till it gains control of En ukr caught my eyes + that ukr was pressing nationalists to assit it.

Didn't Kerry rave and rant about these nationalists misdoings in geneva accord speech?Something clicked and i felt nauseous I had the cake and also eaten it .Something in my genes that puts india first?
In that triangle i botched it and then withstood the presurres and secured the nuclear deal for the present govt that is for people of india
In the third episode tonsure of tormentor + kasi blog i thought i had lost and had let americans in to cretae chaos  when illiberal fascists etc etc --the labels stuck on modi and co takes over next and stop our development .I nearly cried and called obama a chimp out of anger and frustration .
Now that i have sort of unravelled the cold diplomacy that un + us aid for prtection of women in delhi may have been a bonanza to next govt which all have decided to be of bjpso as to counter china's aid arms to maoists [if not how can poor tribals have so many arms?] by tackling the menace to peace and development effectively.
If so i have not on;y helped the govt that is leaving but also that is said to take power and most importantly to people of india.

Why should i bother about india, india etc could be because i am a hindu and feel deeply that every inch of this land is sacred and all its inahabitants specially hindus whether they hate me or like me or  are different from me are my relatives .My religion teaches me that i must a dip in ganga and in rameswaram at least once in my life time .Where on earth can one find the ganges at kasi and the sea at rameswaram?If not in bharat /india?
On the day of marriage my father was a young man of 21 and was already wedded to communist ideals whilst my mother a girl of 15 was already wedded to Indian nationalism and the freedom movt.

12.30.pm--
Had my gf been alive, he an hindu nationalist would have condemned the delay in release of bjp's manifesto that enabled an hindu woman to be tortured so as to turf out an european.
Had my father an commie  been alive he would have reacted imme to the news of gunnig down of bangla deshi migrant muslims with' poor souls' and wouldn't have wiated for a day or two to express it as commies did.
my view--India is not a waste paper basket .stop and send back the illegal mus migrants and not the persecuted hindu migrants--where else  will  hindus go if not to india?But not by violence and killings but by peaceful methods.
And who wouldn't feel sorry for life talken? That young girl swathy's life snuffed away by cowards in morn of may 1 and of others at night in the games that politicians play.i have pieced the bloody plot with help of tv debates and news items and the timing of such items .but i am not divulging them not coz of fear but coz   it is all part of political games with which i want no truck.

15.5.14.
I still have this misgiving allowing U.S  a back door entry.Practically speaking the money is welcome to who ever governs delhi viz aap or bjp.  for freebies to ak and his separatist pals or for strengthening nationalist bjp.It is russian roulette .
My real view.--it doesneedle my self respect to allow a foreign power to gain a foothold on whatever excuse.
To the conservative right the society being illiberal so as to pave way for fgn intervention will be totally unaceptable.I feel sorry for all those idealistic innocent young rightist fans of mine that it was one of my blogs that facilitated this by staining and mocking at thier pride our society and its capacity to reform from within.

17.5.14  10 30 am Saturday.
My first reaction to un/us deal is correct .I didnt like US  gaining sly entry into india under the pretext of women protection.
I am ashamed that  it could have been my  writings of emotional reactions to tricks  and  my blog kasi that unwittingly did this.
I am also sorry for letting down all those ordinary  indians who take pride in thier society  and culture and believe that reforms in society should come from within just as i do and have the firm belief in our society and culture to correct itself  all the inequalities and injustises.

Maybe in the very first episode of devyani /sg it was this deal that was offered in return for release and i had succesfully countered then as well as in the next.

i am ashamed because i lowered my guard .If only i had been alerted and a even a tiny bit of support shown to me ,i wouldn't have let this happen, if at all .So the shame is not mine alone and the blame has to be borne by those who allowed it to happen,if at all they feel the prick of conscience at compromising nations pride and security..

Note :I am not ashamed of the emotions i displayed to the tricks played .They are real reactions and emotions to what was represented to me by tapping into my doubts and making use of the  out of the ordinary events in my secluded life.

Probable links to inatl happenings.

6 -7 may --us decides to help trace girls kidnapped by bokoharam with michelle found 'snuffing'[exact words in news ] of girls ambitions at education  unpalatable.

19 monday  putin decides to pull back from border of ukr and asks ukr and rebels to sort it out..

My real reaction to the deal is, the diary writing of 17 th may .