Life is so bizzarre .

During my high school days I was shocked and moved when Rajesh Khanna,who donned the role of a young and handsome and terminally ill cancer patient laughed from a tape recorder few moments after his death in the arms of a surly ,angry doctor who gets emotionally attached to his exuberant patient . For years there after it was the most touching scene I had ever seen in a film.
A more moving scene was played out live a couple of months back .

Few months after Vidat's departure ,Vineet was fiddling with a Mp3player gifted by Vidat to Harind few months before their demise,which Vidat had brought back home to download some western music on the request of Harind but before he could return it Harind passed away after a cardiac arrest.And soon Vidat also departed.This player was lying around and Vineet wanting to check its contents attached it to the computer and when we suddenly heard Vidat's voice loud and clear asking Harind to say something so as to record it in the Mp3 player and Harind in his deep voice say's 'soon you will leave for the U.S , get a job and build a house and I 'll visit you there'. Vidat say's 'sure' and both end it with loud laughs-Ha Ha Ha Ha -just like the film Anand.
The difference is that in the film the patient dies and the doctor lives on,but in real life both the mentor mama a patient recuperating from a heart attack and his naive nephew who visited his ailing uncle often on the eve of his departure to the U.S. for higher studies,to shower him with his kindliest affection and gifts also departed after a gap of 18 days.

harind.blogspot.com

Another ironies of life.Six days after my late younger brother Harind's birthday I discovered the blog created by Vidat for his mama two and a half years back. Vidat was right ,Harind sure could write.

In my entire life spanning half a century I have 3 poems written on me.Two of them were good and one of them was nasty.

Am I as beautiful as Cleopatra ?or as ultra feminist as Martina Navaratilova or am I the epitome of mother hood that Mother Theresa was? All the three poems, waxed about me were from the hearts of three teen aged poets who have alternatively regarded me as such.

The first poem ever written on me [or known to me ] was in Hyderabad when I was 14 years 0ld .It was penned obviously by a love struck teenage Romeo living in the same colony as mine.It was entitled 'A Typical Beauty' written on a piece of paper in English and handed over to me .I had preserved it for several decades but lost it in the course of life's meanderings .I don't remember the lines but it was highly complementary.

The very next year, when I was 15 years old a English limerick was written by my male classmate in a Delhi high school on the black board calling me a tom boy and comparing me to a old man [thatha] . A horrible piece of writing publicly displayed that destroyed my confidence and shook my psyche and plunged me into gloom for several years.

The third poem in Tamil about me, as recently as last year was created and recited over the phone by a blind orphan in his late teens on Mother's day. It was a heaven sent manna, whilst mourning the loss of my son.
This is the translation: :
A three lettered poem you are mother.
The sweetness found in three fruits [mukkani] is in you, mother.
Comforting and soothing you are mother.
You are an angel and worthy of being felicitated by all all gods , mother.
Even the gods bow down before your capabilities, mother.
Oh Mother , mother, mother !
.
[poet :Munniappan]


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A daughter remembers .

My father K.C. Sundrachari was the son of a lawyer and the grandson of Mahamahopadyaya Kapisthalam Desikachariar who was a renowned sanskrit scholar,philosopher and an authority on Visishtadwaita philosophy .My father was fed up and angry at the rituals conducted non stop from early 4 in the morning till 11 in the day in his father's and grand father's joint family household daily as was the norm of orthodox Sri Vaishnava Brahmins .He was angry because he was hungry, as food was allowed to be partaken only after the numerous rituals were completed.He vowed then and there never to follow a single ritual in his life and his fascination towards communist ideology in his youth made him even more determined to stand stead fast by his daring decision through out his life !
A seasoned lawyer, was visibly shocked on reading aloud my fathers will soon after his demise in which he had clearly stated that he didn't want any rituals to be performed by his sons on his death and that they may instead feed the poor on his death anniversaries .

He was short and lean but tough to the core. He won a bet with his friends in his youth by spending a whole night all alone at a local graveyard to dispel the myths regarding ghosts and spirits! His past times included trekking Horsley hills in search of leopards.His swimming pool like all others at Chittoor was the huge well -Ranga reddy bave' where the young were initiated into swimming by just pushing them into the well whilst the older one's sat on the rim of the well ,waiting for the junior to surface and if he didn't ,plunge into the well and bring him up .This was the method devised to remove fear of water!

He scorned at the various rituals a Hindu had to perform and was allergic to 'God men' but never prevented any one from doing so nor did he fail to instill in our young minds despite his communist leanings that' Narayana ' is the only god to be worshiped and his best earthly form was as 'Srinivasa Perumal' at Tirumala.

He began his career as a excise inspector in the British government on the shores of Bay of Bengal at Ennore which he patrolled on his bullet motor bike accompanied by a fierce Alsation dog . He had to change his career as my mother feared that she may never be able to keep and rear her children after losing her first two babies to diarrhoea owing to the desolation of the place, that no doctors for miles around. He joined C.L.R.I. as a clerk and rose to become the chief of administration of C.S.I.R. by sheer hard work and merit.

Whilst I was growing up he was always there to smooth my ruffled feathers caused by my confrontations and arguments with my mother.Later when I got married , he never failed to restore my confidence when ever my spirit flogged due to the constant digs made at me by my crowing in-laws ,by reminding me that I was blessed with '2 lion cubs' meaning my sons.

His favourite grand son was my eldest son Vidat .At the age of 80 ,he visited us at Porur waving aside my mothers protests as he had become very weak owing to a chronic lung problem.He had an inkling maybe that his end was near and he made it clear that he dearly wanted to see my son Vidat.He filled his eyes [and memory maybe ] with the image of 16 year old and 6 feet tall Vidat and then, gently caressing Vidat's cheeks he bade fare well to me smiling ruefully on his way back to his house at Adayar. He died two days later.

My father never had the means to fulfill his socialistic desires - helping the poor and the needy. My share of inheritance from his estate is quite sufficient and I strive to fulfill my father's dream's which has become more or less mandatory when Vidat also left me ,by helping poor girls, orphans,and poor blind youths monetarily so as to educate and equip them to find a decent job that would enable them to lead a life with dignity.
5.9.1920 to 4.10.2000.

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INTERLUDE. Monsoon musings.

I woke up to a gloomy morning with the sky pouring tons of water due to a depression in the Bay .There was no sun in sight and I was trying to cheer myself with a hot cup of coffee when I heard a rustle at the front door and on peeping out from my kitchen saw the milkman dripping with water drop the milk sachets into the bag stringed on the front grill and said 'Amma' indicating that he had delivered the milk and sped away.

At this my spirit lifted.Both my sons are not here to call me .But strangers like the milk man, the flower girl and paper boy who are imbued with our ancient culture that venerates a older woman as a mother and address her as naturally as they would their own,are around and that lifted my drooping spirits.

A man however old he may be is never called 'Appa' . He is always addressed as' Sir'.He is Appa only to his children whereas a woman in India on reaching middle age becomes the universal mother .This is our culture .How soothing it is to me now!

23 rd July 1971 Friday.

I was ironing my uniform before leaving for school in the morning when I heard the newspaper delivery boy's cycle bell. I ran down the steps to read the news and note down the important news.

I noted down the news that West Pakistan's bombers were seen flying low over Srinagar and that 200 Pakistan spies were rounded up in Assam .

24.7.71 Saturday.

Yesterday before sleeping I read the story book' Mother' . After finishing it I switched of the the light and lay on the bed thinking how awfully bad it will be if I don't have a mother to look after me.
In the evening went to the market but sat in the car as I was wearing a red lungi, and red colour is supposed to enrage cows and make them butt people wearing such clothes.Even on days when I wear clothes that are not red in colour I never go inside the vegetable market as I am afraid of cows .The market is full of cows wandering around freely and boldly.
After mother came out of the vegetable market having completed her weekly shopping we went to cloth shop and purchased blue poplin cloth and gave it to a tailor having his shop nearby to stitch bell bottoms pant for me .The tailor whilst taking the measurement of the length ,pushed my lungi up a bit. Mom came and held my lungi.

Then lights went out . It was total black out . I was sure that there would be light in the Labs as it has its own generator. And for sure it was .
At night when I was helping mother to wash the vegetables in the kitchen sink before storing them away in the fridge ,she told me that I was too innocent and naive' because I allowed the tailor to lift my lungi when I should have done it myself and that I should'nt go off alone to be measured and so on .

25.7.71 Sunday.
Went to a Tamil film with Pop and Mom. brothers as usual went off to play a cricket match.
Tomorrow is my birthday!

13 th July 1971.

I didnt go to school today ,instead went to Golconda fort with my cousin and her husband.Yaseen our driver showed us many a things which we had'nt seen before. We saw many eerie tombs and the burial place of Muslim kings.

Climbed to the top of the fort. Even 6 centuries before there were water carrying tubes .I felt like living in those days and going about in horses!

Visited Gandipet lake . Harind swam refusing to obey my cousin and her husband forbidding him to swim .However he swam in the shallow part of the lake. I just waddled about. Had I brought my swimsuit maybe I would have.Returned home in the evening.
15.7.71 thursday.
Father got a trunk call from Delhi .Probably we will be transferred to Delhi.
17.7.71 Saturday.

Went to Homera's house in the evening. She had some family friends from Afghanisthan staying in her house. Gosh they are so very fair and red!I thought that the lady was using rouge and lipstick. But Homu told me that she didnt. There was a cute baby .Red all over.

Then we went to Reeti's house along with Sumit. Reeti told that my school Principal cannot speak properEnglish.I told her you neednot put down my princi at front of me .She shut her mouth..

20.7.71. Tuesday.

The newspapers screamed that W.Pakistan will declare war on India if we help the refugees .

My school friends and I got the inspiration of sending a time bomb to Yahaya Khan the military ruler of W. Pakistan.[if somebody provided us with one] because he is so cruel ,killing and torturing thousands of people in E.Pakistan .

Chammu gave a nose cut to Sowmya by telling her not to speak always about herself and her relatives.

In the evening I did'nt go out to play but hemmed my dress.

Whilst having dinner I told my brothers about the massacres of E.Pakistani's and asked in case there is a war between W.Pakistan and India will it result in third world war? They laughed.


22.7.71 Thursday.

As our teacher asked the headlines to be read out every day in the morning Maragadam read it .She read ''India is not alone'' said Swaran singh[foreign minister] toYahaya .But our teacher told us that we were alone because we don't help or be friendly with other countries. There fore if W.Pakistan fights with us, we will surly not receive any aid from other countries.

I started reading the book 'Mother'.

4 th July Sunday 1971.

In the evening Homera came. She told me that we two had different tastes.The most important difference was that she would hurt the feelings of others but I would'nt . She then told me about the blunders the nuns in her school did and then left to her home.As usual Srikanth jeeringly asked ''how come they left Homera bibi from Jennana''?
5.7.71 Monday.

Parents didnot go to see the Hindi film in the Labs and told Harind not to go as he had already seen many films recently. About 9 pm while having dinner Harind came. He had gone to the film freely. Mom and dad scolded him .That's all .We were all subdued during dinner including Mukund and Aravind.


8.7.71. Thursday.


By mistake I took Renu's aluminium suitcase instead of mine whilst getting off at my school from our colony bus , as it looks just like mine.I wished that Renu would see that she has taken my suitcase instead of hers in the bus itself before getting off at her school and return my suitcase before my school started for the day . The morning bell rang. Still no one came. Then maths teacher came and started to teach a lesson. Then Vasanthi who had gone down for some reason came back to the class and told me that a maid servant of the school was groaning and coming up the steps with a tin suitcase. I excused myself to the teacher. She asked me the reason . On hearing the reason she laughed and so did the class. So did I. I returned Renu's suitcase to the servant and took mine.

9.7.71 Friday .

Didnot go out in the evening. I stayed at home and read my lessons and then some story books.Mother scolded me saying that I should'nt be always reading and that I should have some love for plants and water them daily.

29 th June 1971 Tuesday

Mom was ordering me about to do cooking etc. What a bore I was born a girl ,still I like it.

30 .5. 71Wednesday.

Yesterday while we were coming home from school in our colony van I saw a man's foot jammed and bleeding when it was run over by a fiat car coming in the opposite direction. The driver of the car lifted that man and placed him in his car and drove away. Whilst entering my bedroom at night I dashed my foot on the bed and yelled out in pain and then I remembered that injured man and controlled myself thinking my pain was nothing compared to his.Worked sums for test.

1.7.71 Thursday
The test was quite easy. After lunch we 5 friends were chatting.There was something black on Vasanthi's lips.I teasingly told 'hey are you a chain smoker?.All of us laughed and to my surprise Banu said would'nt it be thrilling if we could smoke? Then we started discussing as to why Indian girls are not allowed to smoke whilst the boys smoke openly.And why should we be scared of teachers as the papers have announced that there will be no final exams upto 10 th class .And so we talked on.Then Vasanthi and I remembered that we had to write a play and enact it . Before we could do so the bell rang and the lunch hour was over. During biology period Principal took the lesson. We were too scared to answere her questions. In the last period we were quite noisy. Suddenly all noise ceased. I turned and saw the strict and fierce teacher Ramamani teacher standing in the doorway and staring at us. She then told loudly that Tamil girls were shameless and were alway's talking.I got very angry at her because she is also a Tamilian and why should she down us?

12 th June 1971 Saturday.

Today I went to the tailor's shop on my cycle as father could'nt give me a lift in the carThe tailor had'nt stitched my uniform blouse . I scolded him. At school I gave the limes to Banumathy to make squash so that we can drink it in school.
13.6.71. Sunday.
In the evening I cooked rice by lighting twigs and paper helped by Harind without mother's knowledge. The rice was only half cooked even after half an hour .I threw it away for the dogs .
14.6.71. Monday
Banumathy had reserved places for our gang ,.the back benches at school in our new classroom. In the evening learnt from mother that some people were coming for dinner .I helped her a bit. And then I tried to learn driving our car and then petted Sumbul. By then it became dark. I and mom served the food to people who had come to dine. I was utterly exhausted when I went to bed at 11 .
15.6.71 Tuesday .
I woke up to find the morning very pleasant and cloudy. I just wanted to sleep on but my conscience told me that I must go to school as I would be bored here at home. After lunch in the school Samyuktha and Vasanthi were trying to act funny. They threw my slippers on the play ground. So I caught hold of their slippers and threw them around.And then I took Samyuktha's belt and dangled it through the window ,into the physics Lab which was locked threatening to drop it in there.I teased her a lot . Later in the last period I gave the belt back to her. 19.6.71. Saturday.
In the evening I went to the movie Laurel and Hardy in the Labs.I sat with my friends. The movie got over but Homu's brother had not come to take her back to her house which is outside our colony.So she telephoned to her house .I waited impatiently. Homu was near to tears . She told me to go since every one was leaving to their houses. I ran and joined my brothers who were walking back to our house because it was 9 in the night andI was scared to walk alone in the deserted road which was dimly lit and was flanked by thick shrubs ,creepers and trees on both the sides .I was sorry for Homu but consoled myself thinking that there were many people in the Lab and so was the telephone operator who will be there the whole night. Whilst walking back I asked my brother to give me back my one rupee he had borrowed from me .He replied that he had repaid it by taking me to this film. I told him that it was dad who paid for the ticket and not he . We were angry at each other.
24 .6.71 Thursday.

Around 6 in the evening I went to Sumit's house. Humaira joined us later. She was cold and hostile towards me ,I suppose ,because I didnt stay back with her on that movie night. Bother. We were playing cards and she dealt all wrong cards only to me. Sumit was my partner and we won . Bittu got angry and called me a cheat. Humaira getting a chance to run me down joined her.I glared at her and left the house .

7th June 1971 Monday

I went to school. It is fun to be back at school.Borrowed some comics from Samyuktha.About 4.30 I was back home and was reading those comics when Humaira came and then Reva and Manjari also . We went to Sumit's house . They didnt want to play any running games so Humaira and I ran across the huge lawn 10 times and were utterly exhausted. Mother was ill .So I served the food and did other odd jobs.I slept with my mother in the drawing room.
8th June 71 Tuesday.
In the evening I rang up Reva and asked her whether she would come for playing table tennis.,she said she would and asked me to go to her house. I said 'no' you come to my house as it is nearer to the club and you know it .She agreed reluctantly. Harind told me that Manjari and Reva had gone to Sumit's house in the morning to borrow some new comics , she was'nt there so they just asked the cook and took the whole bundle home. When Sumit came back and found her new comics missing which she had not read she became very angry. She rang up Manjari and scolded her. Manjari's servant re turned the books later in the noon. I was getting ready when Reva came.We were both wearing pleatless skirts .I told her 'a kiss for you and letter for me'. When we neared the club we heard the tap tapping of the t.t ball. When we came up we saw Babloo playing.Reva didnt want to play as Babloo was there . She was kicking a lot of fuss. So we borrowed Badminton racquets and played it and returned it .Whilst doing so we had to pass the t .t table where more boys were playing ,we felt embarrassed as they were all staring at us. I went along with Reva to her house to get my comics while nearing her house I saw a small snake on which Reva was about to step over. I stopped Reva in time. We shrieked and stood there until the snake disappeared . I took the comics and returned home.
9 .6.71 Wednesday
At school Raji had come .We had a nice chat. I told her that I keep a diary. She wanted to tell me about her quarrel with her friend Rosy living near her house but stopped because she was afraid that I would write it in my diary! In the evening after playing doubles in T.T with Babloo and Sudhakar for a short while as I was scared that my tight churidhar may tear Manjari and I decided to go to my neighbours house and pet their 1 year old daughter. On the way Manjari told me that she liked me very much and I told her the same.We carried and petted Sumbul for some time.

1st June 1971 Tuesday.

I woke up very late in the morning . Harind had gone out to play after breakfast . On his return I asked him about Bingo.He told that last night Bongo had tried to jump from the upstairs verandah to the ground below ,but since the chain held him back he was hanging in the air unable to go up or down and thus strangled to death . I felt very sad and also sorry for Manjari.

In the evening Reva rang up asking whether I would join her in cycling around the colony. I agreed .We did a lot if cycling.

2nd June 1971 Wednesday
In the evening Humaira phoned me and asked me to join her at Sumit's place. I went there about 6.30 and she turned up after 15 minutes. Harind ,Sumit and I played cards whilst Humaira read some comics. About 7.30 pm Babloo and Ravi .N came there and were playing table.tennis in the dining room. Later we joined them in the game.I can beat all the girls but not the boys. Harind and I came back home around at 9 . Slept at 10.30.

3 rd June 1971 Thursday

Today there is a lot of wind blowing. My school has re-opened after the summer break today but I could'nt attend classes since the dhobhi didnt get my uniforms.
All the people in the colony think that Bingo has died of stomach ache. But I think he was mad. In the evening I went to Summit's house. Manjari was there. While we played Russin Rummy it rained outside. At 8 pm we stopped the game. It was drizziling out side. I ran all the way home.

4th June 71 Friday
Today also it is very breezy. I took oil bath. Harind's friends had come to my house to play cricket.Brothers  joined them. I was getting bored so I rang up Manjari and asked her to come to my place .She came unexpectedly quickly .
We watched the game and then went to the post office to post a letter I had written to Sujata of Mysore. Bought some letters for mother and came back and had orange squash and watched the game.Then went to Ajay's house and borrowed some comics.By the tme it neared 1 pm and so Manjari left to her house.

About 6 in the evening Harind told that there was a childrens film in the Lab. We quickly got dressed and went there but to our disappointment it was a adults film. I scolded Harind. He told that the telephone operator had told him thus. We went up to the club which is in the Lab and played Table Tennis and then came back home after an hour. I didnt go out after that ,I did some sketches. After dinner played Ludo with brother and than went up to sleep.
5 th June 1971 Saturday.

I woke up at 9 am .Mummy was very angry as I got up very late.
I was reading a Tamil magazine at about 11 am when Harind came and showed me the lemons he had plucked from Kholetker uncle's house. We hid it in my draw as mother will scold us if she comes to know this. I did lime juice for Harind and myself when my mother was taking her bath. It is very cloudy and pleasant though it is usually hot during June. I feel like dancing. In the afternoon I did some Embroidery. In the evening I went to Manjari's house but she went away to Secundrabad club after few minutes.

6th June1971 Sunday.
I took oil bath because while my mother was combing my hair she saw one grey hair. About 11 am the man who sells sarees came .He brought a red linen lungi. I stitched it and finished it about 4 pm . I wore it in the evening and played cards with Harind, Santosh and Manjari in my house. then we went for a short walk.

May 31 1971 Monday. [13 years old]

From the morning it was cloudy. In the evening it had become even more cloudy.Parents and brothers were getting ready to go to a film in the laboratory. I didn't want to go. After my parents left Harind and I went to Manjari's house to hear to music played on record player. Harind's friend Ravi Narsimhachar had also come with us .While we were listening to the records Harind went to pet Manjari's dog Bingo.It tried to bite him .We were scared of Bingo including Manjari. Her servant tied the dog in the upstairs veranda since it was biting every body.

Outside ,sky became dark and it started to drizzle. Since we intended to go to Bhargava uncle's house and listen to the wireless ,Manjari took an umbrella and we set forth.When we neared the house we heard a crashing noise and saw a lightning which turned the night into a day.Manjari and I were terrified .We immediately crouched on the ground and covered our selves with the umbrella.We saw a ball of fire falling from the sky somewhere in the direction of Osmania university.We were petrified for a moment. Ravi and Harind who were near the door ran in and soon we followed cursing them for deserting us at the hour of peril.

After hearing uncle conducting conversation with people in distant area's we 4 went to my empty house and played Russian Rummy till 9 pm.Then Ravi and Manjari returned to their home.

I described the incident to my parents who said that they had also heard a loud noise whilst watching the film and had concluded that there might have been an explosion in the Lab .
I heard hindi film songs till 10.30 and then went to sleep.

Harind. [A sister remembers]

The youngest of us all and thinnest too.
Was my closest companion since childhood to teenage.He stuck to me whether I wanted his company or not .Attended the same school went by the same bus had the same friends. Being barely one and a quarter years older I was forced to take care of him and with that wielded some authority over him.
I remember him crying loudly if and when I did'nt wait for him while trekking 1 km to school at Mysore at the age of seven.
On the way back we made several halts. Once to let a busy looking white cobra with its hood open to pass between us or skirt carefully away from the huge pack of mongrels that roamed our colony freely.We often snacked on ripe and sweet gooseberries that covered an entire tree on the way by shaking the tree to make them fall.
During school vacations we used to watch in merriment our dog swimming in a tank filled with water after throwing it in to see whether it could swim.Then we would skip down to a pond and catch those small fishes swimming around in a handkerchief and transfer them to a water filled bottle. But to our dismay they would all die to within a day or two as we did'nt know how to take care of them.
At the age of 10 I learnt to monkey peddle my elder brother's huge Atlas cycle and ofcourse Harind perched himself on the back seat and enjoyed my cycling.During rainy days when we were forced to stay indoors we pulled each others ears and cheeks and yelled at the top of our voices to the watch man of our dad's office which was within hearing distance to fetch petromax lights during power failures.
Those were halcyon days ! Being a central research laboratory a lot of interesting things happened in the huge sprawling office where our father worked . It was but a few meters away from our palatial government residence .
There was glass blowing to be seen and then to shiver fearfully in a minus degree cold room fearfully lest we get locked in. Then to view all those animals kept for research cute guinea pigs,monkeys,eagles white rabbits and mice kept in a nearby animal house and mingle with south eastAsian [research scholars] whose hostel was few yards away to whom my father doubled as a warden.
Then when our father got transferred to Hyderabad two years later, the friends I made in the staff colony were also his and his friends [the older one's] were my fans. He didn't know that! Had a great time playing 9 stones[pittu],cards and seeing free of cost films shown in the office club and exchanged gossip before falling asleep.
Our pre teens and early teens at Hyderabad was also marked by terrific fights, pinching, wrestling and kicking which left at times one of us bleeding from minor injuries!But the very next day we would become pals!
After a couple o f years again we shifted camp to Delhi.Here also we attended the same school there fore had common teachers,friends and gossips.Harind had a lot of older brothers to play or talk with but with a decade or so age gap, I was his nearest in age and in interests.
My bossing days came to an end when at the age of 16 he grew a head taller than me and started speaking in a deep and gruff voice. I nobly withdrew . Consoling myself that discretion is best part of valour.
Though we studied in different colleges we knew each others pals.When I decided to get married when we repaired back to Madras when my father retired Harind was shocked at my latching on to a total stranger ,little realising that I was growing into a old maid [by those days standards] ,had received several glad eyes from guys but no concrete proposals hence the best option to me then seemed like any other Indian woman to settle for arranged marriage.
Harind couldnt get over his shock and sought advise and refuge from his experienced male cousins who consoled him saying that all big sisters will play, compete for food,scratch your eyes, compete to read comics and novels and then suddenly latch on to a stranger and wave a goodbye.
After marriage didnt have much contact and I was surprised that he too chose to study law .
Vidat was born and soon his younger brother followed.To both of them Harind was the favourite 'mama' to my dismay since ,though grown in years and experiences our skirmishes still continued.
Harind was popular amongst my friends,his friends,our relatives and my mother!He would eat a handful and play the whole day-marbles,flying kites, cricket and swimming.And read for but few hours and pass all exams.He would fearlessly dive from a rocky out crop in Tirumala hills deep into the natural pond formed by waterfalls far below and would powerfully and skilfully swim across the rapidly flowing Ganges river at Haridwar and tug at the chains hanging from the middle of the bridge across the river. A dare devil! He would also fight for the rights of those he considered to be downtrodden tirelessly.
I couldnt believe it when he had a heart attack at 47 years .The youngest and the last of us all to be the first to suffer a heart attack!
A poignant fact was that being the youngest of a brood of 5 siblings , he was pushed around .The kindest attention in his last day's were those he got from Vidat .Vidat's hero, a fallen hero whose state evoked sympathy and compassion and made him shower his mama with love,attention and gifts .Thus Vidat erased any hurt I could have caused to my younger brother whilst growing up together or even in later days .
The heart attack did not deter Harind. He hopped out of the bed within a month and ran up and down the stairs shrugging of his ailment with the characteristic 'come what may attitude' and in the process suffered a cardiac arrest within a year and left me forever.
Did Harind have a inkling that his end was near?He rang me up 2 days before and spoke to me at length and told me emotionally that he would adopt Vidat his favourite nephew ,who on the eve of his departure to U.S to pursue higher studies visited his mama frequently ,and HE DID .Vidat also left me fore ever 18 days later, chasing his favourite mama in the vast expanse of the universe. .

Harind . [6 November 1958 to 9 th July 2007]

My younger brother Harind was my constant companion from infancy to adolescence .He always bagged the window seat in trains,buses or car before me ,quickly chose the dunloped diwan as his bed before I could even open my mouth and thus saddled me with a hard sofa cum bed as my bed for several years.
He was quick witted,had a sharp tongue and was fleet footed.Was always several steps ahead of me.And has proved that he still is, by quitting before he could be confronted with the tragedy of seeing one's own child die, unlike his lumbering sister.
In life and in death always ahead of me. I am sure he has bagged the best seat in heaven!

Funeral rituals.

The plethora of rituals a Tamil brahmin has to do ,undergo when a close relative departs signifies to me as an attempt to divert a bereaved person from grief and to a true adherent to the faith the means to facilitate the 'Atma's journey pleasantly onwards without any hindrance or obstacle to its ultimate goal -Moksham -i.e 'eternal bliss'.

In reality what happens is,that the final departure of a person becomes the meeting ground for relatives who, after the initial grief hang around for 13 days to attend all the rituals performed in that period,[ in order to fulfil a percieved notion of social obligation of marking their attendance],tend to share notes [as most may be meeting after years ],talk ,gossip, laugh and guffaw forgetting the very purpose of their visit- to console the bereaved!
The bereaved persons cannot even vent out their grief or think it over in solitude as they have to take part in rituals comprehended only by the priests ,so seems meaningless, and play host to horde of relatives , arranging for their food and comfort!
It is more or less like a festival! There is no gravity or somberness.Scant thought is paid to the departed person or to the feelings of the bereaved one's.
If a political figure passes away it is worse! The milling crowds and the various Neta's wanting to show their face on T.V makes a mockery of mourning .
An nauseating ritual of some non-brahmin Tamilian communities is to burst crackers ,drink and dance merrily at the funeral processions.
Has life no meaning or respect in India?Why don't we have the decency to allow a bereaved person to mourn in private and not make a public' tamasha' out of it.

Cremation vs Burial .

Why don't we Hindu's have a re- think of this horribly final ritual of cremating our dead ?

I never gave much thought to such topics but was forced to when I had to witness the complete destruction of a body I gave birth to and nourished with care for 24 years to be reduced to ashes to be collected in a small urn in a matter of few hours .It seemed a cruel ritual annihilating a person of his identity and reducing a person pulsating with life ,thoughts,and energy but a few hours or days ago to total anonymity .

Burial seems to be more decent and humane' It assures the near and dear one's a place to connect to the departed person ,the assurance that 'he is there'. A place to let off one's emotions and to pay respects and preserve the identity, coupled with the memory of that departed person.

The aping syndrome.

Was browsing through www.history.com when I came across the topic 'why was Japan bombed by the U.S during 2 nd world war ?was it right?
The writer says ,nuclear bombs were dropped over Japan so that U.S.S.R. would get the message that U.S is a force to reckon with !
If the purpose of bombarding Japan was to teach U.S.S.R. a lesson then those atomic bombs might as well been dropped on Germany,war would have ended very quickly and U.S.S,R would have got the message not to meddle in Europe .Why was'nt the obvious done?
The truth as I see it is that the fact that majority of white American population are descendants of people who have migrated from Germany centuries ago.How could one bomb one's kith and kin either to defeat or to experiment?
I agree with one commentator's view,'let's [i.e white race] show the chinky eyed yellow race their place in this world'.
When I use to see modern day's Japanese on T.V ,colouring their black hair to blonde hues,playing the guitar and wearing only western outfits and straighten their eyes through surgery ,I use to squirm in disgust. Why copy the culture that erased an entire generation,why can't they stick to their colourful and unique kimonos and charming hair styles and be proud of their almond shaped eyes?
Well one should'nt throw stones whilst living in a glass house.Millions of Indians ,speak ,comm unicate and even think in English.I ought not to speak the English language or enjoy Shakespeare with the knowledge that the British ravaged and destroyed our once wealthy,prosperous and peaceful country!I ought to speak only in my mother tongue Tamil or in the language of my ancestors-sanskrit but millions of us Indians are comfortable with English and are proud of our vocabulary and would not discard it for years to come.
Why aere'nt we Indians not proud of our brown skins .Fairness creams sell like hot cakes.Whilst the white's roast themselves in hot sea side beaches to acquire a tan ,we who have it naturally are bent on getting rid of it by applying whitening creams !
Is this the syndrome of the subjugated population emulating [even skin tones and eyes] the much hated aggressor after their rule is over?Is this common only to Asia ? I find it in Japan and here in India.
A personal episode , my mother use to relate to us when we were kids how a Polish ambassador who had dinner at my grandfather's official residence at Delhi,when he was the Speaker of Loksabha [parliament] ,had been surprised to find a European child of 5 wandering around ,that 'European'child being my elder brother Aravind who like some iyengars [brahmin] in South India is blessed with blue eyes and white complexion [a throw back to some distant Caucasian Aryan ancestor] with great pride . We 4 siblings were all thrilled that one amongst us is like a European with creamy white skin and blue eyes.
We have thrown the actual rule of the British but not their attitude of placing a premium on white skin and turning one's noses at dark skin!

Air's and graces!

Shoba De' once wrote that the puffiness of a clerk in any government department should be seen to be believed! That small cog in the huge wheel of beauracracy wields little power but puts on such an air of authority that will put the queen of England to shame!
So true ! When I went the other day to submit my application offering my services to Legal services authority at the high court of Madras ,I stumbled into one of the numerous huge offices in the 200 year old High court building .The burly clerk at the desk glared at me and said coldly that his office was that of District services and the office where I should give my application is Tamil nadu legal services authority building which was near a play ground and waved me away.
I went in search of the playground but only saw lawyers and clients milling around everywhere reminding me of the busy ,shoppers paradise Ranganathan street at T nagar .Though I am a lawyer my practise is confined to my house which doubles as a office to practise as a notary public .Some how I caught the attention of a young lawayer who said the office is outside the campus and hurriedly walked away .I walked in the direction he had vaguely pointed but could'nt locate it. Then I asked a road side fruit juice seller ,who sincerely took the effort to inquire some other salesman inside the campus and directed me to the other end of the Highcourt premises. One auto chap came greedily saying ''m'am get in ' the fruit seller waved him away saying it was walkable distance.As I have no hesitation to snatch a walk when ever I can ,so walked on and came out pushing and weaving through the throng of black coated lawyers dotting every available space.
No luck .couldnt locate the place and spied only an electric train running on the other side of the road.I gathered up my courage and decided to face that cold clerk to get specific directions. He barked on seeing me'' I have already given you directions do you think I have no other work?''. A peon or a clerk of some lawyer standing nearby took pity on me and guided me personally to the new tnlsa office through a short route.
I told the peon sitting outside the Secretary of tnlsa office that I wanted to meet the secretary . He went in and came out immediately and I was ushered into pleasant interiors and the distinguished person I see on my t.v screen every sunday morning explaining the legal aid schemes of the Madras high court arose from his seat and greeted me warmly with folded hands . He very courteously asked me to take my seat ,read my application and immediately decided that I should serve in Lokadalat [peoples court ] and put down his signature on my application. He made polite inquiries ,speaking softly and encouraged me to practise in the family courts.He again stood up when I took leave.
The glaring difference between mediocrity and superlativity was made apparent to me all within an hour!The polite Secretary is a judge of the Madras highcourt ,is the head of all free legal services in Tamilnadu,having heavy responsibilities ,and is pursuing his ph.d in law of contract.His power and authority far exceeds that clerk.Yet he make's it sit lightly on his sleeves.
I was reminded of the tamil saying ''me'l makkal me'l makkale''[the truly great are those who are truly noble] . I returned home thinking of his politeness and courtesy which was a balm to my sorely bruised ego.