Forgiveness session

A day after I blogged about the fact that i found some SC'persons very abusive face to face with me and my surprise to be at the receiving end of such spitefulness as i had a lot of sympathy for them , i under went a forgiveness session .

These sessions usually happen when i am taking my afternoon siesta  or relaxing  or when i am asleep at night.But this happened when i was having  my lunch at the dining table .I guess satiating one's stomach is also a form of relaxation and therefore a ripe time for holier than thous or human rights bleeding hearts to take over my thoughts to insert thier suggestions or even have a conversation with me so as to remove the various sins eclipsing my soul.
These sessions are like a internal thought process and most of the time i donot know that they had taken place unless  it is abruptly terminated and i immediately feel a sense of freedom.I felt this sudden freedom,[ that is my mind feels free  like as if it has been released from some evil clutches ],half way through my lunch , hence i knew immediately that my thought process till then was being stimulated from a external source.
Let me explain as to what was the thought process that was suddenly aborted.I was munching my food with full concentration when suddenly i felt this urge inside me to tender a public apology on my blog to SC's for the shabby way they were treated by my ancestors .When my full concentration was on my food why should i suddenly have this thought and urge?But i had it and i thought on thus--Personally i have no hatred or revulsion towards SC' so as to feel guilty and contrite so as  to amends or seek redemption. by asking them to forgive me for the sins of my ancestors which  they would have committed centuries back.
Then my thoughts sidetracked and thought this is working of Karma.In previous births the SC's of today [may be those who abused me]could have been Brahmins and in next birth i could be born in a SC  family.So what is the point of apologising?Immediately i felt a release and my mind felt free like as if some load was lifted of it .Hence i knew that instant that my thought process on this apology was being stimulated from a external force , if not why should i think on such matters when i am busy filling my stomach?

How is it possible to make inaudible suggestions and even carry on a conversation with strangers or flat mates  like this takes place often ?Is it with help of some special  audio transmitters  placed near my ears ?May be they are placed in the lamp on the wall or in the calling box or in the overhead ceiling fan.I also guess that either my left year is blocked permanently in my left ear or is blocked by by streaming gas into it or is pressurised to keep it shut so that these inaudible suggestions, conversations sent in via the right ears does not go out of the other ear,and they richochete within making it impossible for me to ignore it and compels me to respond  .
At times, very rarely for no reason at all i suddenly feel a whoosh of wind rushing through my ears clearing the blockage temporarily.

My thinking about the workings of the doctrine of Karma had terminated this forgiveness session abruptly Thank god!

When i came on to balcony for hte duster cloth saw a strange young man walking down huriedly from B block and then get on to a suv and drive away.Was he the  the one trying to wring my heart and make me tender apublic apology?Did i frustrate his attempts? If so i was very happy .to have made him run away thus .How dare he intrude into my thoughts like as if i am his chattel or his wedded wife[ Till 2012 the only person to have a direct acces to my ears and mind was my husband to whom i was  wedded to in 1981 so the rougues who are speaking into my ears have usurped his sole perogative over me]  and like as if it was not a inhuman thing to do ?

The next day i started to think over this public apology business that every one is demanding from everyone these days and in particular about me being suggested to tender it in my blog.

To me this 'public apology'  seems like a Western concept.Since Christians and others belonging to Desert religions lay a great store on the virtues of forgiveness.Why should their religious mode of seeking redemption for sins committed be incorporated in here?Hindus also believe that forgiveness is a great virtue but not as mere lip service but they act to remedy the wongs and this is known as prayaschitham.
Let me enumerate the prayachitham done by Hindus  and Brahmins in particular towards SC's.

1. Why was Dr Ambedkar given the sole right to draft the constitution of Republic of India?Granted he was a scholar , so were several Brahmins who were elected to the constituent assembly.Whilst Dr Amdedkars struggle was personal one that was a role model only to his community  to free them from societal  shackles the brahmins who take part in freedom movt was struggling to  free  the entire nationfrom British rule They were not fighting to free only thier community from shackles .There were several intellectuals, scholars , brilliant lawyers amongst the Brahmins who actually took part in freedom movt undergoing a lot of trial and tribulations .They were more in touch with the people of India  than those who drafted the constitution as they took thier struggle to the ground inspiring a lot of people to follow suit.They all stood for elections and won their seat in constituent assembly.
Were all the other members of Constituent assembly lacking in intellect, knowledge and that only Dr Ambedkar had it?No ! By unanimously agreeing to allow Dr Ambedkar to draft to constitution of free republic of India they were sending a statement that the first  constitution of free modernIndia would be drafted by a SC .If this is not seeking forgiveness from SC'  at the very outset of  setting up Modern india , by its founding fathers then what is it?
My grand father was also a founding father of modern india .He was a orthodox brahmin  who would recite Purushasuktum every day in his daily puja so would have other Brahmins freedom fighters.So did  it prevent them from accepting Dr Ambedkars leadership in drafting the constitution?They have all sacrifised for this nation  but didnt mind the fact that it would be Dr Ambedkars name that will be in annals of history for centuries to come as the giver of Indian constitution whilst my grand fathers and others who gave the best part of thier lives to free india from Britishers  name would be lost in its dust .They all accepted this  fact magnanimously and willingly .What more apology do those speaking on behalf of Sc's need from me?My grandfather has already given it in concrete action in 1947-50 doing prayaschitahm for the sins of his ancestors  .


I think the person who did the forgiveness session on me would be wishing on reading this that he should have never done it /Hope he learns a lesson not to trifle with me .

2. The constituent assembly of India was dominated by Brahmins and other .upper castes who all agreed to incorporate reservations in jobs and educational institution for SC's.They all voted to make such reservations a part of the Constitution of India .Wouldn't they have not known that this reservation would be at the cost of thier children and grandchildren's future?Yet they went ahead .

The reservations for SCin our constitution which succeeding govts till today are  continuing with even after 70 years  rolling by , is a testimony to Hindus seeking prayachitham for sins of thier ancestors  .
There is no need to ape the West and say' I apologise toSC ',' I apologise to SC's' in my blog when it has already been done in action 70 years back by the representatives of people of India.

It is a fact and truth that some SC's whom i have come across in my life  in Chennai were rude abusive towards me because  i am a brahmin .I donot hold a placard saying i am brahmin nor do i dress differently from others nor am i fairer than many non brahmin women but people know i am  Brahmin women  just by seeing me.They ,the  persons with half baked knowledge or illiterate show thier ire towards me for having descended from brahmins who treated them shabbily, centuries back.

It also surprised and shocked me when i learnt that sc' s didnot revere Ghandhi to the extent to which they revere Ambedkar and that they despised the name 'harijan'bestowed on them by  Ghandhiji!Wasnt it the hynoptic grip that Ghandhi had over the masses as well as intellectuals that  induced many to lead temple entry and Sc's for the first time in long history of India gained entry into many famous and popular temples?If not for Ghandhi's deepest sympathy towards sc's and his yearning to set the rights of wrongs done on them in the past where would SC's be now?It was his influence over masses and not Ambedkar's story of  personal struggle  that made  thier temple entry and other forbidden places possible by scotching the practise of untouchability, and it was also his influence over upper caste  that  reservations in constitution was made  possible to give them a head start in modern india.
There is no harm in revering thier role model but should they be allergic and ungrateful to thier true benefactor  ?.

But i have also come across Sc men and women who have made good use of various scholarships, financial assistances  and reservations in educational institutions and govt and have secured good jobs and lead  prosperous lives They build large houses and own huge cars .Some of them  employ Brahmins.! I have come across such persons nearly 30 years back.There were many of them who are more  intelligent and knowlegeable  than me a educated  Brahmin woman.In my inter actions with them i never found any rancour or bitterness against me or to the caste i belong.They were happy and satisfied with life and had no complaints about society .In india it is money that matters .Caste or out of caste is only secondary.It is money that confers social status.

I have also come across Brahmin men and women who couldnt get  a job in govt or seat in a college owing to theSc reservation policy although they had passed the test s in merit.Why should i go far , in my own house both my sons have suffered due to this reservation policy which has now extended to cover all castes except Brahmins in here.They had to compete for few seats in free seat category  in decent colleges with all thier energy,capacity thus,exhausting them and nearly burning them out in the process.

I present scenario it is the Brahmins who are affected by this steep reservation policy in educational institutions and govt.So it is they who  should seek public apology from SC,mbc and bc for tormenting them with  impossible cut offs  and snatching away thier jobs and prosperity and ask them to do prayachitham towards Brahmins for making thier lives miserable and bleak by letting go off reservations in toto.

I read a news item on a Sc political leaders thesis on the effect of conversion of a entire village of SC to islam  30 to 40 years back .He has said that in first generation the converts felt a lot of discomfort but by third generation they were all well settled in muslim community and came to command respect in Hindu comminity .That is, as Hindus Sc had no social status amongst caste hindus but once they converted and continued to be in that fold thier descenadants were seen as muslims and not as sc's and there for had a higher social status  in the eyes of caste hindus.Which also means that Muslims in here have a higher social status in eyes of caste Hindus  than they have for SCs'.

Why can't Al l those Sc's who are not bothered about making  a good and prosperous life for themselves by making use of various reservation schemes but keep wallowing in self pity and carry a chip on thier shoulders  that hindu society and brahmins prevented them from getting a social status[though this was true only a100 or 150 years back and not now] and keep on castigating us
convert to Islam ?By doing so they will free persons like me from receiving filth and abuses from them.They will also have the gratitude of several Hindus and Brahmins  for freeing the reservation quota and make education and job easily attainable.

Now i am thinking about the person who cut the forgiveness session so abruptly when i started to think about workings of Karma .That rogue  cut it because he could not stomach the word Karma and it may have sounded blasphemous to his evasdropping ears  Which means that he belongs to one of the other two religious communities.
Before asking me to forgive have they examined whether they have the locus standi to do so?If that rogue was a Muslim has any Muslim publicly apologised to Hindus after independance for thier ancestors having destroyed our temple and broken our idols for centuries together preventing my anscestors to pursue thier way of life  and religion in peace?There were and are  many  muslim intellectauls, poets , historians .aritists and leading film stars in India  , but has any one of them come forward in any medium to tender thier apology  ,for the sins of thier forefathers?I do not remember any one muslim tendering public apology to Hindus.Hence that rogue had no right to ask me to apologise for the sins of my forefathers .
I am sure that many Muslim journalists read about the way i have been made to feel that i am in  mini Pakistan since 201 2 and that muslims scared me so with that audio transmissions tricks  that i felt very insecure in my own house and started to distrust my society and govt?Has even one knowledgeble  liberal muslim come forward to condemn what some cads in thier community did to me and are still intruding into my thoughts ?
  
Second if it was a Christian  rogue who was conducting that forgivemness session on me has any one from his community apologised to Hindus for converting a large swathe of hindus to Christianity and thus severing thier roots with this country's historical ,cultural and religious  past , making them aliens in thier own land? There are 100's of Christian intellectuals, scholars , leaders in society , have they apologised to Hindus for being silent when hindus by droves are being converted with money power?Has even one person condemned such conversions that is causing loss to Hindu community every day?                                                                                                                                                 Has a single Christian intellectual or journalist or artist or writer condemned the christian conversion that i was forcibly subject to in 2014 though i kept blogging about it?It is still going on but has any  Christian come forward to condemn it and publicly apologise to me?

Those who seek forgiveness from me for wrongs of my anscestors  must first be a example of having publicly apologising for sins  done by their anscestors  over my anscestors and for the wrongs  committed  by thier community members  over me.
Since it is a rogue who is seeking  my forgiveness in a sly manner  on a issue which could be in no way connected to his religion or society and is purely my socio religious  issue   he has got this scathing reply.

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I am not being allowed to publish my blog on forgivrnrss ssesion whole of yesterday i was prevented from publishing my blog on Forgiveness session.Have to see if i am allowed to publish it today

Neighbours

Three neighbours in my flat started to weild extra marital control over me since 2012 no sooner was i made a nervous wreck in May 2012  by making me hear high decibel noises in my ears for nearly a month.
Two of my neighbours who assumed this extra marital control over me  immediately after wrecking me are --
1.The Muslim resident and owner of the flat above mine whose women wear burkhas.

2.A resident and owner of a flat in my floor.,who professes Christian links although appearing to be a Hindu .A half Hindu and a half Christian , which is quite common in the place where i live.

3.A religious non- brahmin resident and owner of flat in lower floor.

From 201 2onwards the first two neighbours started to excercise a tight grip on me   .It wasnot merely a individual effort , their families , friends were also involved .It includes their sons ,daughters and wives.
Of these two it was the Muslim resident who excersised maximum influence and control over m e with regard to my dressing and writing by indirect threats and sly punishments .Since ours is a great democracy guarenteeing a lot of freedom and rights certain things like curbing freedom of movt, expression and invasion of privacy  have to be done slyliy so that no one will know that such freedom is being curbed arbitarily.  He and his family succeeded in making me feel that I was in mini Pakistan.
I had to subsevere and pander only to Muslims emotions , way of life ,sensitivities and fears.This was emotionally draining as i was in a constant state of teariness  as i was made to react to every death happening in this country.When i was finally getting over my  grief in my real life theses leeches latched on to me to to revive and convert that grief towards their community in a sly and intrusive manner .
May be the other neighbour and his family influenced me to keep on writing about our society and to exaggerate its faults.

With a change in helm of affairs at Centre after GE of 2014 there was also a change in this  extra marital sly control  .It passed over to to Hindu Non brahmin resident of lower floor .He and his family became very vocal whilst the other two neighbours gradually dumbed down.

I do credit this Hindu neighbour for playing a knight in shining armour  by rescuing me from this bottomless pit of emotional blackmail that some Muslims were excersing over me  by showing his support , A religious Hindu's support that gave me the confidence to break free of that abnormal delusion created by the Muslim neighbour and his group,the illusion that it was they who were the despotic sovereigns of this country and that i better obey..Their tight grip couldnot be shaken off immediately.It took few years and are still refusing to let go. ,This area is Muslim constituency area and so all political parties will fall over themselves to please them.

Had this Hindu neighbour withdrawn gracefully after bringing me out of that trap it would have been good ,But, No , from then onwards  he started to threaten in a indirect manner with consequences if i complained  in my blogs about my having to write on and on about minorities .From 2014 till now i have been made to write only about minorities and it is getting on my nerves .Is there no life for m e beyond minorities?  For the past 7 years i have been made to only think about the good and bad points of minorities.Hence i still feel that i am in mini Pakistan with Muslims clamouring  'see me see me see only see me, keep on thinking about us and  keep engaged with us like as if this India and Pakistan relations and keep on writing about us .Even if it is bad it is ok .It is double ok since then we will get sympathy from others."

Since 2014 when this hindu neighbour took over this sly extra marital control over me he makes it clear that my security depends upon me know towing his agenda if not i have to face consequences like burning forhead at night or painful tightening of my scalp and so on .
There are many suggestion givers who  have been  bestowed with   free access to my  mind directly.I guess through audio transmitters placed near my ears in my house,and blocking off my left ear so that these inaudible suggestions, provocations and orders doesnt go out from the other ear but stays put within ,revebarating round and round so that i have to  comply by, replying,talking and writing , and thus wasting my time on these leeches.

As there are many suggestion givers i do not know exactly what his agenda is But do know for sure that he [whom ever he represents] frowns upon  my reading or writing about Hindu religion and temple travels.And that i should not get too involved in issues in support of' Rights 'up North.And that my being a Left is most welcome.I guess that is why my late father is made to appear  every now and then in my memory [or is it hypnosis]when i am relaxing .

So now i am under the extra marital control of this Hindu neighbour .So One  mini dictator has supplanted another mini dictator.

A lot of confusion has been created in my life in the past 7 years .Had i been allowed to write and blog on temple travel or been  encouraged to translate slokas etc in the manner in which i was doing in 2011, that would have been the wisest thing to do .By encouraging me to be a left is very unwise as i can be very  frank in writing my views causing a lot of heart burns as i have no fear of taking on authorities or any one if they  take over me in this arbitary and forcible manner .This is becuase of  my lineage  and my education .When the shackles are relaxed as they have been now [may be due to elections] i have bounced back with  determination to lay bare the indignities,and injustices i was made to face and am still facing.

Change in format of blog archives

A month or two before elections the format in my blog was suddenly changed .All my older posts starting from  2008 0r 9 came at front near my profile and my newer posts was pushed  back.                                                                                                                                                       Note --My new posts  since 2012  are full of  my protests against suspension of my several rights .From 2014 onwards they are about the intrusive conversions done on me and  also about the suspension of my rights .
I am sure that this was done deliberately so that the perifidies done on me in the past  7 years should not be eye catching.
I tied my best to restore the original format but could not do so .

Journalists vs Politicians

Who is better?
As far as i am concerned journalists of all hues  have used ideas from my blogs to make money for themselves They are of no use to me.They neither give me moral support  nor  confer any monetary benifits  .If they are in this intrusive methods to  provoke and prod me to react and write then they are hypocrites since on one hand they portray themselves as defenders of freedoms of citizens gaurenteed under our constitution and on other deprive me of my right to privacy , religion and right to enjoy my life peacefully .They are also  parasites  living off my ideas .

Political leaders  if they so will can confer monetary benifits  on me legally through the various  governmental schemes    aimed at the section of society i belong to  viz senior citizen , woman ,etc by enhancing the duration , interests , or giving exemptions , concessions etc.
Hence political leaders even if they are part  of this intrusion , dumbing me down etc and suspended the rights listed above,and therefore as much hypocritcal as journalists, they can confer material benifits  ensuring financial security on me , not persona;lly but as part of a governmental scheme  ,and have done so .
 
Journalists and politicians  are the devil and the deep sea making a mockery of  several of my rights and  freedoms but of the two ,politicians are more useful to me .They can at least give me something Journalists are of no use to me.They only take and take from me.
 

Voting .

I did not vote yesterday in the general elections . Shameful of me isnt it when  voters ranging  from top actors, stars , political leaders  of all shades to old and bent poor women who can barely walk had all come to cast thier vote braving the hot  humid climate and blistering sun and the wait in long queues .?There was even a newly married couple wearing silk sari and finery and dhothi and  a thick  fresh new yellow thread [with mangalyam]- tied post haste  by the groom around the brides neck ! They seemed to have hurried through a most important occasion in thier life so as to exercise their  right and freedom to choose the leader of their choice for the next 5 years!
All this was shown on TV and how very  touching it is to see people rushing to the booths to exercise their prized possesion in a free country viz to make or unmake a govt. and feel the pride of having a stake in steering the course of this country's future. , ,

I am not old and doddering nor in frail health nor did i have any pressing work to be done .Yet i didnt vote because i  feel that i have no freedom  .Freedoms that every citizen takes it for granted the way i did till 2012.
1.I have no freedom to pursue my religion .Since 2012 every obstacle was thrown in my way to stop me from leading a Hindu way of life .This became more severe after 2014 when multiple conversion attempts with Christian conversion topping the list was carried on me .Putting very bluntly and truthfully i a have no religious freedom viz the freedom to be a hindu , .Even today my recitation of sloka , japas  was intruded and this has been going on without a break since 2014 .These curbs are so severe that when i plan to go to a temple ,first i must overcome the sudden depression clouding my brain[done delibetarely] with will power . Next i must steel myself for the  sly retribution i have to face for visiting the temple like pain in my body or a sleepless night with constant jamming of my forhead making me feel that my brain is trapped in a thick spiders web  with no escape.
In 2014 GE also i was hesitant to vote but then conversion attempts and other rigours on my thinking etc were yet to come and i was full of hope that they will be relaxed after GE.but they werenot and in fact became even more severe,

2.A lot of curbs were and are put on my freedom of expression .viz on my freedom to delve into ancient indian history or freedom to  translate slokas etc as they literally mean  without any 'secular' air brushing or on my freedom to write about my temple visits.Curbs were put even on blogs on my observation of life, society  and nature around  me.Till 2014 it was a herculean task for me to access the internet  from my house.So ,there are lot of curbs on my freedom of expression.

3.I have limited freedom of movment.It was first limited  deliberately by causing me injury in tooth , knees  and my husband's heart and later by making my journeys very uncomfortable.So slowly i was forced to lose interest in travel outside my locality.

4.I have no right to privacy of thoughts or the right to have original thoughts.My thoughts are always monitered .and a lot of suggestions fed into me that has axed my original thinking and creativity.This is allowed .                                                                                                                                                 I have no fear of losing tangible wealth like money , gold etc .I can even keep my house unlocked and not fear  any theft of such things , since 201 2 , but electronic items like  cd player  etc are often tampered with that they cannot be used But my intangible wealth like health, the freedom to relax in the manner in which i like,  peace of mind and tranquility has been grossly tampered with .When my intangible rights return  only  then i will feel like excersing my democratic right to vote .When i can't even think freely  and am confused about the identity of my harrassers orsuggestion givers o controllers  viz --to which party they belong ,how can i make a choice  properly and freely?
It will be a mockery of democracy if i go and vote for some one and if i later learn that i voted for those denying my normal rights and freedom .Since those persons denying me my normal rights and freedom must either be in power by being elected democratically or has been in power having been elected democratically or  both .

5.A lot of people have been conferred with the right to have a direct contact with my mind .I donot know how it is done though i know mobiles are used in this contact of  some stranger  or maybe even known persons hiding from my view  to my mind directly!So my right to choose as to whom i would like speak to or hear to has been taken away.These  intruders  are given a free entry to do thier picking of my mind even when i am in the bathroom and they without any shame use this right merrily every day.Revolting..
20.4.19
6.I have no freedom to control my body movements as per my will .It is very tough to fight  this body control as i have seen even tall .hefty and young policemen 's body movements controlled when they are near me and i am sure  that   they didnot know that their body movements  are being controlled.They will automatically turn thier face if i lift my hand to my chest level.They will do it like as if it is natural but as i  have . been observing all this i know that they have been deliberately made to turn.I saw this today in my morning walk and felt a sick feeling in my stomach .If such strong and tough men can be twisted around where do i stand a chance of  ever regaining control over my body movements?

7The most annoying part of this  body movement control is the ways my eyes are constantly directed to read name plates with Muslim or Christian names or forced to see Mosques, or churches or cross or statue of Jesus  or Vinayakar temple or see stickers of various religions and images stuck on autos and cars plying in the streets when i am walking or travelling in a cab or train .This excessive dose of religion in all hues has been going on since 2014.I'll never be allowed to see a whiff of passing clouds in the blue sky or stars in the night sky or green canapies or the bed of fragrant flowers covering roadsides or allowed to smell its fragrance.The flowering trees are still there lining the inner streets of Tnagar and they all keep blooming on and off in profusion sending out sweet fragrance but when i walk my eyes will always be directed to human or dog feces heaped at regular intervals  or worn and,torn sanitary towels flung in middle of the road.and will be made to smell various types of stinks.
So i have no freedom to use my sensory organ viz my eyes as per my will
.Coupled with this is the loud clapping or loud noise from the palyground at front of the temple will or playing nfrom adjacent compound will be heard with a irritating loudness [maybe transmitters in my house enhance the sounds ] that would provoke me to write angrily .and keep on writing .This happened yesterday[19.4.19] and i am writing today--proof .

so i  have no freedom to  use my sensory organs as per my will to lead a peaceful life
. 

8.Despite my having stopped blogging or even writing in my diary for months i seemed to be always at the receiving end of hostile glares and rudeness from Muslims,SC's and Christians and some Hindus  in my flat as well as outside viz the shops i visit or banks etc.This was obvious since 201 2 but became very obvious since 2014.There seems to be bonding between several types of people in thier hate Sujata campaign.

9.Since 201 2 i started to feel that i have been transported to a mini pakistan sorrounded by hostile Burkhas imposing purdah on me,hostile Muslim men in pant shirt,or in kurta pyjama and white topis and leering and jeering muslim youth. The muslim neighbours living in and near my flats have greatly contributed in building up this  despicable picture every day by thier open hostility towards me since 2012 .Maybe they also keep on sending messages to my mind with mobile etc that makes me feel thus.  As long as i feel that i am living in mini Pakistan and am not  living in Democartic and free India i will not vote .
The Christians and SC's  living around me are equally rude and hostile and have forcibily seggregated me from society making  me a outcaste .Apart from feeling that i am a resident of Pakistan i also feel that i am a resident of a Christian country sorrounded by its rude and snooty residents harranguing me on my want of morals , ethics and my stupidity in sticking to the  despicable Hindu religion , Christian neighbours living in my flat as well as in opposite tenemets have contributed in creating this detestful life around me.
At times i also feel that i live in a hamlet sorrounded by abusive SC's venting their fury and anger and violence against me  owing to my upper caste status .They have created a  atmosphere of violence and seething hatred around me and  I hardly feel that i am living in 'casteist  free'  metropolitan city  .                                                                                                                                       
Thus i never feel at any point of time that i am living in a  multilinguistic, tolerant  and peaceful metropolitan city in a free country like India .I either feel i am living in mini Pakistan or in Christian country far far away or in a SC village.


It is really strange how tables have been turned over me!

1.I was always proud of my country  ,its ancient past  ,present and future and revered the ground i treaded upon daily,thinking of its sanctity it has owing to Rama and host of Rishis  having walked over it in distant past and would often wonder at the patience of Bhuma devi and often seek her forgiveness at being a burden to Her .Now [since 2012 ] i have no such sentiments when i touch the ground and i am compelled  t o seek forgiveness  from other communities and castes on events with which i have no connection at all.         Now i feel i am living in mini Pakistan cut off from my roots  and wiped  clean of all  sentiments associated with my country[India]  

2.I wasn't in the least bothered about Christian conversions that took place and is taking place all over India.But i was brought face to face with it by the conversion attempts made at me in 2014.I also had to change my opinion that Christian conversions are persuasive and not coercive since mine was coerceive   with a lot of death threats .

3.I never thought that i would be in receiving end of SC's violent anger  but now i know i am .I think that their attacks on me are much more spiteful, hatefilled and vicious than  others.This really surprised me as i never harboured even a iota of distaste or revulsion towards them and.I was very sympathetic towards them.

My experience in coming face to face with minorities and SC;s is that Some SC'  and some Christians have been verbally abusive since long i would say even as far as my primary school days in Chennai and continue to do so.It was only from 201 2 that  i found that some Muslims were also   hostile towards  me face to face and as they showed it  by glaring and, jeering at me but without any verbal abuse,

Some one  is constantly provoking me to anger on public affairs viz that which hogs English news in this sly hidden way of talking to me.without coming face to face.
Some one wants me to comment on issues concerning minorities and SC always.in this sly hidden manner in a manner sympathetic towards them , though actually i would see news only as news--a piece of information  and nothing more
And some  wants me to make amends for writing frankly about what i have experienced in my life and they start that forgiveness sessions slyly to wipe it out from my memory or make me pine in the manner the' left liberals 'would do over issues concerning minorities and SC's.that is forcing me to shed tears at thier plight in the hands of Hindus like as if it was i who was responsible for  those' fringes' actions!Inter alia that it was my bounden duty to rush to the defence of minorities and SC'
when even a single hair on thier head was harmed.These selfish persons are not in the least bothered as to how my life has been wrecked by these sly hidden messaging but have the gall to expect and torment me to work myself up on issues that have no relavance to me .
 
What is keeping me aloft in this quagmire of quick sand is my deep faith in the doctrine of Karma.Most of the times i am pulled down into this quicksand owing to continuos attacks on my religious beliefs , sentiments and caste but i do surface at times with the help of my inbred belief in Karma , Vasanas and Trigunas and shake of these parasites .Other wise i would be always be made to feel weepy at my personal life and made to overreact to incidents in public life and keep on seeking forgiveness on behalf of other Hindus  when i neither have any connection to such incidents nor am i a representative of Hindus.This yen to make me seek forgiveness for every thing around m e  has crept into my life very forcibly after conversion attempts on me in 2014.If not for my  belief in karma that pops up now and then i would be living in a delusional world of saintliness which is  a far cry from what i actually am.

It is a queer set up . On one hand i am discouraged to lead a Hindu way of life and often made to feel that i am in a ghetto comprising only muslims or christians or sc/s and am encouraged to follow thier way of life , and thinking and beliefs  with their fears and insecurities  rubbing on to me giving me a minority  mind set but on other i am supposed to seek forgiveness in public life on behalf of Hindus like as if i still possess that careless confidence and trust i had in people around me  in this state and in the country before 2012!.

Only when my life comes back to the normal and i feel the freedom of being a confident well educated moderately liberal Brahmin woman belonging to middle middle class,which i have felt all my life will i feel that this is my country  and may regain my trust in people around me and contemplate voting in elections.


I no longer enjoy the freedoms all citizens of India have so why should i demean myself  by voting and make a mockery out of myself as well as  Democracy.?

Mysteries in my life

1.Why was high decibel sound streamed into my ears for a month in2012 and by whom and for what purpose?  Reason to allow several persons to have direct entry into my pshyche and mind through ears .
2.How is that so many people total strangers have a direct contact with my mind provoking my thoughts , anger and emotions?Why are they allowed to do so?How is it possible to do so in democratic country? Reason could be --appeasment of other  minorities and scheduled castes.Their welfare overrides all democratic norms.Isn't it very important to please them at any one's cost?

3.My body movts are controlled .How and by whom? Body movt's of any  and every person who is near me , are  also controlled  . From family members to total strangers .                                                                                                                             For what i can answere-- It is to keep messages not liked by those controlling my movt  to  prevent them from reaching  my ears  by turning away my head and  ears, from the source of such unwanted messages .Messages are also blocked by human body .The bulkier the better they are at blocking such messages .They will be made to come  at front of me or near me , so near that sometimes they me even push me off the road

.This is not done by suggestion into ears coz if i donot co operate i can feel pressurres building up in back of my head  or within it .  Reason could be political.or even defence.

4.A secretive type of conversion was carried on me in september 2014 .Why was it done and why is it still allowed?Can conversion be a form of punishment for what i have written?How can it be.

5. My brain was needled a whole month at night  in 2014.for what?How was it done without any one physically present in my house to deliver those painful jabs at night for a month when i went to bed to sleep or lay on the floor to escape it but couldn't?Were they electric shocks directed at my brain? Reason could be to remove my memory and wipe out my emotions.My emotions was troubling those who did this needling.How was it troubling them?Why should it trouble them?

6.The mystery behind causing me stinging pain in my left eyes quite oftenWhy is it caused and for what reasons?These days viz from April onwards it has become a regular daily dose of pain.

7.The mystery behind causing pain in my abdomen specially after a visit to a temple.

8.The mystery behind causing my forehead to burn for several hours at night .Nothing i do makes it go,.like applying pain relieving creams or take a crocin or by listening to music and slokas.i have to endure it till it leaves [made to leave] after several painful hours .

9.The mystery behind so much sadism shown towards me .

10 The mystery behind forgivness sessions in which i am coerced to forgive everyone and any one .

11. The mystery behind enacting for eg  make strangers  to wear the sari  of the colour i may have thought  of and drawing my attention to them when i go out for walk or any function what i may have thought  .What is the need to keep on harping that my thoughts as simple as making a choice of colours in wearing a sari are being read? This has been going on since 2012.Why?To scare me away from thinking ?Why is it so important to those who are enacting it that i should not think?

12.The mystery in the connection between transmissions to my ears and the landing and taking off of planes. There is definetly a link between the two.Why is it practised on me?What  was  the pressing need to regulate my life according to planes movments?Is it being still done as there is no one from my side or on my behalf to question or ask for the reasons behind these shameless intrusions in my personal life  ?Again what is the need behind allowing so many transmissions into me?

13 The mystery behind shrill wail of ambulance siren at certain times .It is also connected to planes take offs and me.

14.The mystery behind making so much fuss about me.

15 The mystery behind this never ending mystery that has been playing out in my life since 2012. Does it have a time period ?Does it have a end?Or is it going to follow me like shadow where ever i go and end only with my end?

16.Finally who is going to solve this mystery?Will it be in force as a mystery and buried off as a mystery?Will any one ever take responsibility for all these violations , openly? Will they ever be questioned?Will the real purpose behind all this be ever  revealed ?

.



To sum up may be the needling was done to prevent me from reacting to suggestions and provocations .So the original culprits were those who blasted my ears in 2012 and allowed free entry to all and sundry.and sold me as a slave to many bidders, cheaply

To overcome this needling or to correct the after effects of needling  which may not be to suitable  to a  situation that may arise next  in due course of time what more will be done to me?Push me off the cliff?

I have found reasons[nearly] to  all the extraordinary tortures i was subject to since 2012  -it is due  to politics.But cannot find the reason behind that crazy multiple conversion attempts.Why is it so important to convert me,and stop me from being a Hindu at any cost, that authorities allowed it and still allow it ? 
Some  more  mysteries--
 1.The sound of pressurre cooker whistle at high volume.I observed in 2014 that it is a sound made deliberately .I guess that it is a warning .I used to hear this as early as 2005 emanating from certain flats .it  is still  given.Was there some deliberate attempts to take my son's life and who ever wanted to succeeded in it and that his death wasnot accidental but deliberate?

2.The CHUP Chup --sound of cars reversing.It usualy follows after analysis session is conducted on me in that heart to heart talks.It also is heard when i feel a   pressurre  on my heart which feels like as if a fear is gripping it.The time for this is whole day .but the fear like pressure gripping my heart is from 7.45 pm to 8.10 pm.Was this used to weaken my hub's heart?

3. The various smells that assail my nose at home or whilst walking--like smell of garlic, smell of meat masala, stink of sewege,stink of rotting corpse .I no longer smell the stink of rotting corpse but smell others.They warn me of suggestion givers not liked by those who are giving these smells.

4. Mystery  -Why are so many people interested in me , that is within me?Why are some  so very inimical that they have given me repeated suggestions so as to make me  go in for major surgeries  in 2014 against medical advise making me believe that  my delusional control will cease if i do so, but   .those  surgeries only nearly killed me and the delusional control is still continuing as merrily as ever?                                                                                                                                        Why this cloak and dagger? why can't it be straight?

5.Why am i made to fight with faceless enemies and talk to faceless strangers  everyday?Does our polity hinge on this faceless intrusions into my life?Is it so weak?Are its leaders so weak so as to resort to such sly methods?Why is there so much silence around the abnormal happenings around me?Why so much opaqueness in  a Democratic country?

Next PM .

Mr Modi is the best bet as the PM of  India now, as well as for a decade  to come..

There is no leader in India who can match his towering personality, unbeleivable energy, oratorial skills, decisivness and excellent rapport with people of this country as well as his ability to demand respect and awe in international community of nations.



Pro's and con,s of his governance according to me--

Pros--

His govt rescued Indian citizens from the ever hanging threat and fear of bomb blasts in public places.like railway stations, malls, hotels temples, trains, offices etc.I didnot read any news about any such blast in the past 5 years of his rule as they have not taken place owing to good law and order provided by his govt through out India .

con's
Not much improvment in economic conditions of people nor is there in any stagnation .i donot see any new offices being built either for IT or manufacturing factories,etc unlike under the  previous regime .
pro's
But i see that travelling by ac cabs within the city has developed in a largescale   that is due to ola uber etc which has made travelling , affordable and comfortable and in style for  all.
 
Pros --a lot of pro poor schemes
con's --putting consumer goods under the heading luxury in GST.  In aspirational society like ours is a everyone wants to make thier life more comfortable with consumer items.In a tropical country like ours where most of the year it is hot how can one consider AC or Fridge to be a luxury   ?It is a necessity.Instead every consumer item like TV,fridge , washing machine  became costlier .As we progress such items should be plentiful, affordable and within reach of all .

Pro --Read that demonitisation lead to more tax compliance. Good!
  con's .What happened to the promise of depositing 15 lakhs  in each income tax payer's account .from the confiscated black money ?I had built some dreams around that promise.Not a single pie was received .If not for 15 lakhs why not deposit at least 1 to 5 lakhs  in tax payers accounts?This deposit need not be made into all tax payers accounts  but can be made into senior citizens accounts .That  would help us.

Pro --tremendous increase in use of cards for purchasing purposes.It has made life  a lot  easier.without the hassles of carrying cash and  fretting about its safety.

Pro --avenging Pakistan's intrusive dastardliness with a befitting reply by going into Pakistan and destroying terrorists.Thank god no squeamishness  was shown unl;ike earlier regimes .Bjp has shown that they are Bjp and that with Modi at helm with a huge mandate they will not keep on showing the other side of the face to be slapped at repeatedly by Pakistanis.

Can a leopard change its spots?

The new avatar of Cong party with its leader visting temples in order to convince hindus that it is a national party  having Hindu sentiments at heart was belied in its recently released theme song for the general elections.It refers to renaming of cities as a great crime committed by party in power .                                          Is it a crime to rename Allahabad as Prayag?Hindus will never think so.It is the place where hindus have taken a  dip in the holy waters of Triveni sangam located at that city. for thousands of years .Even the chornicler of Harsha , the king of Kanauj in 8 th century AD mentions the king having taken part in the kumbhmela that took place in Prayag                                   It may appear as a crime only to the  lyrisist who though being feted by all the intellectuals as highly liberal  and secular  , has shown his actual mind set,viz --Muslim sentiments even in the smallest affairs should always  be given precedence over Hindus.sentiments ,He has shown his mind set,v iz only take dont' give even a inch  and he is free to exihibit his petty views  but by making it a theme song the Cong party is endorsing his view that is trifling with Hindu sentiments. Again is it a crime to get rid of that cruel Mughal ruler Aurangzeb who in every hindu's opinion was a very cruel king surpassing all Mughals?

Is it a crime to supplant it with a nice , kind and knowledgeable Muslim man--Abdul kalam's name whom  Hindu's respect?
These two lines will suffice to prove that Congress has again lived upto its name that it is nothing but a Muslim party of India.With this minority mindset, allowing muslims to write thier party songs purely from muslim point of views, how can they hope to capture Hindus trust and loyalty .How can they even rule over such a vast Hindu population if they are blissfully oblivious to Hindu sentiments and even fear them?                                                                                                                                                           They need not be overtly Hindu but should refrain from making fun or belittling Hindu sentiments and Hidus collective memory if they have to succeed in gaining trust amongst Hindus.They haven't learnt any lessons that the electorate taught them last time .How can it be a alternative to BJP ?

Why should i bother about Congress party? They are not in the least bothered about me.or my advise.May be it is the memory of past affinity of my grandfather.had with it during freedom movt and later in installing a new constitution and govt..I also cannot deride their achviements  in building a modern India, unlike the way it is being done now .Foundations for modern India was made during Nehru years ,like IIT, space technology , Dams ,Atomic energy  ,iis,aiims.Can any one deny that?i can't.and economic liberation was done by Narsimha rao which made us a  consuming society by removing the shackles of  socialist concepts of sacrifise and more sacrifise and barely any  enjoyment ..

But over the years they have earned the tag of being a party only for the minority population of India .That tag was and is considered cool and modern.They were and  are still ashamed of being associated with the sentiments , history and pride of majority of the population viz Hindus .

          .Although a lot of pretext  and make over is going on  about their supreme leader and others  being   Hindus the original mindset  viz seeing every sentimental issue of Hindus only from Muslim and Christian perspective is very much evident.. The congress  has being doing this in national level and is till doing it .
                                                                                                                                     The secular parties in states are no laggards , they also bend backwards to please minorities. i have no problem with the State's welfare measures towards minorities or scheduled castes or even paying for their pilgrimages , so on. But i have a problem if their welfare is at the cost of my privacy, my family bonds , my religion , my freedom of thinking, my freedom of movement , my freedom to dress as i please and my sentiments.

The fact that multitude of Muslims and Christians and other poppets of secularist are allowed to give suggestions or provoke me-an individual-- nearly daily in that uniquely direct   contacts with my hearing is an extreme level of appeasment to minorities,schedule castes and secularists  greed and selfishness  which is unheard of, so far in our history.                                                                                                                         

Conversion attempts are still on.

In september 2014 there was a  unique type of conversion to Christianity performed upon me.That was the dominant conversion .The smaller conversions were to Islam with a fellow hollering his god's name in my ears and another was for sect change viz to shakthi with the promise that such a schange will save me from other conversions.
I turned down Christian conversion totally but played along with shakthi conversion for some time [after all it is also Hindu] but also turned it down after some time as it is impossible to changeafter  50 years of practising my sect.AS far as Islam was concerned i was given no choice.Just as loud bellow into my ears and then streaming of their  songs , worhip etc into my ears softly but clearly.Like i said i dont know how i am spoken to inside my by strangers etc but it is done.Maybe powerful transmitters with help of internet and audio bugs in my house .

However conversion to other two religions is still going on is still going on .Shakthi worship is nothing out of ordinary for me  as we--SriVaishnavaites worship Lakshmi who is also considered as one of the trio's constituting shakthi sect along with Saraswati and Durga , daily , so that conversion is no conversion .

Even now when i sit to meditate that is repeating  Bhagwan's name silently  whithin 9 counts a Muslim 's image will be made to pass through my forehead if my eyes are closed or i;ll be made to remember a neighbour or his wife or think of some burkha .This happens everyday .It also happens in temples.At first this rattled me and at times made me furious and i would discontinue , maybe that was the intended puporse to flash such images , that is to stop my concentration.Soon i got over it and persist after that mandatory image or wayward thinking.Throwing hurdles at ones concentration on one's god is attempt at conversion.It is going on  .
Next as i proceed repeating god's name a thick screen will be pulled across my forehead and all my japas etc will bounce back .It will not go in .My forehead will be blocked.Nothing i do will clear it.So i have to control my anger and revulsion and continue my meditation resignedly hoping to show the one's blocking that i will not let go of my simple daily puja.This is happening every day in the morning and at times in evening also.It happened today also.
 The converters /transformers are very happy when there is a death in the family .Asper our practise  if a relative of husband dies no puja should be conducted for 10 days .The oil wick lamp should not be lit .Flowers should not be used to decorate the images of gods.No fruit or food should be offered Slokas should not be recited .There should be no meditation or japa.That is no puja in the house  till the 10 day ritual is completed.On woife's side if death occurs the there is suspension of pujas but it is only for three days.They are happy becuase they have no need to convert by way of obstructing slokas and meditation as there will be none on those days and they can go on a well earned leave.Since  my husband follows all these rules and stops his daily puja It sometimes raises my suspicion that maybe just maybe some  deaths of his relatives and mine like his brother and my brother in June and August 2014 respectively maynot be natural and my late son's sudden death may also be in that unnaturally sudden death list..
If converters /transformers were already at work when my late son was alive then his death gave them a lot of relief from work of obstructing our puja, concentration etc , since my husband got done all the rituals that whole year --during every month for a year and at each such function there was no recitation of usual slokas or meditation in the house.
Till 2012 i had no such suspicions that is ,regarding conversion by intruding into our lives , In 2014 there were suggestions in usual- direct to mind that there was something fishy in hub's brothers death and actual conversion attempts  on me took place in 2014 .Maybe there was something fishy --viz to keep my husband off  from recitation and meditation for few crucial days .
Two questions rise --
1.Why is it so important to convert me?So as to do so many hanky panky sly stuffs to make me change religion?
2. If deaths were unnaturally sudden with the aim to stop my hub from doing his daily sloka recitation and japaWhy is my hubs puja so important  that it has to be stopped now and then with such sudden deaths,whilst it is me who is sought to be converted ?
Is it somerthing to do with inimical neighbours of India?

Just what are these sly inimical transformers upto?Why isn't there a let up in obstructing my daily puja relaxation etc?.Why are conversion attempts upon me still going on merrily?The converters must be getting lot of money for my conversion if not it will not go on and on like this. Am i considered to be a prime catch due to my lineage, so is money being poured in tons?Probably it is the reason.
It is a great slap to Hindu community if Mahamahopadyas[sanskrit scholar] great grand daughter and M/A.ayengar's [ an orthodox Hindu who fought against the British  and was at the helm when parliamentry democracy was introduced in new India]grand daughter is converted  firstly to other religions and secondly to other sect.Some one is intent on delivering this slap.

China .

Several months back i was watching a series on China in a knowledge channel.
The tall multistoreyed buildings with shining glass panes, neat neighbourhoods and smooth and wide roads in nearly all its cities and towns took my breath away.
They also showed villages that are like our own  viz green fields  and huts .That brought my breath back but the next scene took my breath away again.In that particular village the residents and owners of the lands were persuaded by the govt to sell thier lands and were moved away to an accomodation provided by the govt  few hundred miles away.The reason given for this dislocation was that tilling of small land holdings was not productive and there fore the govt stepped in to pool them all together and sell it to a private company which had the expertise--new technology to  increase the yields   ten times more than what the original farmers could.with old framing techniques.These villagers weren't making much money  from the produce of their lands and were leading a hand to mouth existence.

Next they showed the flats built for these farmers .They would outdo any modern flats built at cost of 4 and 5 crores constructed in our cities and suburbs.They were neat, spacious and had  latest technology in kitchen like operating stove etc with remote !Gas was piped and hot water was at a touch .the fans,tv ac etc operated in some new manner , like just clapping hands or even talking. These flats were given to them on highly subsidised loan by clearing which they would become its owners.
The villagers were taken to nearby towns in busses for search of employment, which was hard to come by .They didnt get one for many months.That depressed them ;Some got sweepers job in nearby flats and streets and many didn't get any job as they didnot have the skills to try other jobs than farming.
The govt  employees who were helping them find the jobs appeared to be very patient , kindly, mild mannered and helpful.I was really surprised at thier friendly attitude towards those lowly farmers  having myself been used to only impatience , irritation and unapproachability of our public servants ,be it govt or judiciary or PRO's of pvt  companies, specially at the lower rungs who will often shout one down hoping to humiliate and scare the people off from pursuing thier petitions and applications.

The next series was about Tibetan railway A Canadian engineer who did this series explained the tremendous efforts  that went into making of this railway line.since 1950's,, inwhich 1000's of lives were lost owing to the extreme cold weather in Tibet and the ice that covered all the lands that made it difficult to lay the lines.
The ice would melt in summer and freeze in winter and running a train over it would be like skating on thin ice..Few decades back an engineer [chinese] found out the way to tackle this problem  and thence forward it was but a matter of time to lay the railway lines in Tibet connecting it to China .
A lot of Chinese make this long trip mainly for sight seeing.The gleaming train has oxygen ducts to help passengers to overcome high altitude sickness .
When i watched this series i felt jealous and wretched .Why is it that it it was only few years back that we could lay railway lines in J & K?Why is are railroads connections in NE so sparse?The Chinese are achieving the impossible and we are dilly dalliying over the possibles!

When i see thier cities and our cities my wretchedness increases.Thiers are smart , neat and in ours every day a road even if it is good will be dug up and all debris thrown on the street itself.It took 10 years and more to build the metro in here and just when i heaved a sigh of relief from circutious traffic route we had to take for 10 years all the roads in pondy bazar has been dug up in pursuance of smart city plans.It is in terrific pellmell and we have to endure it.This is going on for one year.I guess that the Chinese would have finished these constructions in no time.Our pace of development in in snail pace whilst thiers is in race horses speed .It is fashionable to take the defence that we are a democracy and they are autocracy or totalitarian , if so how come Western countries who are democracies are all well developed?
I felt myself shrinking and felt that i would disappear if i saw some more of their incredible achievments.
At the end of the series the Canadian engineer was smirking when he concluded it by saying that these railroads are again facing the problem of melting ice and added with a mischeavous gleam in his eyes that the cause for this was the polluting smoke of industries in India blowing over Tibet heating the ice and making it melt.
On hearing this my gloom vanished in a trice and i felt happy and was filled with glee.I don't know why?I was too young during 1962Chinese war scarcely 5 years old so have no memory of that war , hence harboured  no ill will towards China.                                                                                              So it  is the natural envy one feels at one's neighbour's achievments and prosperity and glee at their fall?                                                                                                                                                           I have listened to tales of horror related to me by my relatives on their recent trip to Kailash mansarovar?The woman said that the chinese controlled territory of the pilgrimage is strewn with human feces as the Chinese refused to provide toilets or water nor did they clean the mess as it was thier intention to nasty Indian pilgrims so as to discourage them from visiting Kailash.The women ate less so as to hold thier bowels for 3 -4 days!
They also commented on poverty and pathetic conditions of Tibetians , who didnot even have a TV to watch .

My fingers itched to write down all this but i restrained myself . specially the part about ice melting down owing to smoke from India.What if China uses it to slap sanctions on us for pollution in UN? Was that Canadian engineer playing a divide and rule  by blaming India ?It was also the time when cordial talks were going on between the  two countries heads. Was some one egging me to embarrass our govt at that juncture?                                                                                                                         Maybe i  have a inflated opinion about
 the influence of my writings .Why should China care as to what I write in my house?If not for the interest of foreign enemy countries in me would i have been made aware that i am a defence problem?Was that delusional or is it for real?
I think it is real .In 2015on a social visit our host a retired defence intelligence official scanned the road suspiciously when he saw us off.Why should he do it unless and until he was warned about inimical countries or other foreign countries unholy interest in  me?

Aern't Pakistan and China the two countries inimical towards us?Isn't it the job of defence to defend this country from such inimical countries?If they are around me that means they are defending this country.Have they harmed me in that process?maybe.Is the stinging pain given in my eyes and all round silence thier doing? Maybe.If so what a pity that my grandfather sacrifised his best years to free this country from Britisher's rule.He ought to have stuck to his roaring law practise and made pots of money instead.

Testing ASTAT successfully is a terrific achievment .

Amazing how our scientists can blow a sattilitte travelling in great speed in space and destroy it within minutes.Precise calculations.A great achievment.

On one hand we have such world class achievments in space and on the other we have development projects dragging for years on solid ground !A country with contradictions.
.

Sharp stinging pain in the eyes and the mini PAkistan i live in along with holier than thous..

For the past one month i have been feeling a sharp stinging pain in my left eyes often and occasionally in my right eyes also.It is happening nearly twice daily.
This pain is felt when i watch TV programmes at night specially when i watch religious discourses  on our puranas and epics , that to when i watch a particular  upanyasakar delivering it on svbc tv channel.I also feel this stinging pain when i watch knowledge channels as well as those channels on animals.when i am facing south.
I feel this pain even at day time generally in the mornings when i stand under the ceiling fan near the dining table, when i am facing east or south.
I know that it has nothing to do with any eye disease i may have contracted like Glucoma etc as i go for regular eye check ups.These pains are deliberately given to me.and those in charge of law and order are aware of this as i have seen policemen in patrol jeeps in my locality and security officers in Tirumala temple duck down their heads and cover their eyes with their hands  when i come upon them suddenly.
Those who are supposed to protect me are intent on protecting themselves from which ever ray or micro wave that is causing it.If able bodied young, stout and strong men duck for cover fearing a attack on their eyes do i need to eloborate as to how painful the sharp stinging pains caused in my eyes is?
I am in receipt of these stings since 2012 ,on and off and of late the frequency has increased .It is more or less a daily occurence.
Those whose job it is to protect the citizens have neither warned me about such painful targetting of my eyes nor have they taught me the ways to escape it .I am trying to lessen the impact of such sharp stinging pain by following their example of bending my head and covering my eyes with my hands drawing such incidents out of my memory a memory that had gone for a toss after the month long painful needling of my head in June 2014 along with all the confusing informations , suggestions ,conversion threats ,dumped into me ., has started to come back  in bits and pieces.                          one main difference , they duck before they are harmed i duck only when i am already harmed .

I wanted to know the source of these stings .They are directed towards my left eye, the part of my face that is exposed to the road and the empty space in front of the nearby temple where vans , cars and gas cylinder laden trucks are always  parked .
So one morning when i received this sting a nasty jab into my eyes [ those persons delivering these jabs choose the most delicate parts of the body and in parts where pain will be felt intensly like forehead, elbow , knees and back of the neck for full effect ,throat and gums so as to discourage me from  what i am doing or wearing or thinking] i covered my eyes with my left palm and rushed to the balcony , from where i get a good view of the open space as i felt that it was being directed  from there .
I stood facing the open space After few minutes  the driver of a small truck placed in 60 degree to my balcony and dining room adjacent to the balcony got out of it and was examining his smart phone.The pain left and i knew that the driver was in some ways connected to this nasty job of jabbing my eyes.which is not only painful but also impedes my concentration in my line of thoughts and my relaxation when i am watching the TV.
He again got in and drove off towards T Nagar.

 Why is it being done?Why is it allowed ?Is my body , mind and sanctity of my house open to all --a free for all without any questions being asked?Where are the human rights activists? Don't i qualify as a human being in their eyes?

What ever maybe the reason the fact is that i am receiving painful stings in my eyes very often these days .And the intention behind these attacks on my eyes is clearly to damage it and make me lose my vision.Simply put, it is to make me blind.                                                                                               Or since it is election time messages or suggestions or instructions to make me think , analyse etc are being being beamed into my ears quite frequently and when i move [again either of my own accord or am being moved deliberately to obstruct such suggestions]these rays strike my hand and the gold bangle i wear deflects it in all directions including my eyes.                                                               Who ever is doing it are sly, inimical and cowardly if not why should they hide and do this?I mean both of them .viz --one who is beaming suggestions etc thus robbing me of my peace and literrally thieving my thoughts and the other who is turning my body to avoid it thus causing injury to my eyes.One is causing mental injury and other physical injury.Don't know if the ones controlling  my body movts are partial or impartial .If they are impartial then it means that they are in my life becuase of the former viz-The suggestion givers -whom ever they may represent and therefore digestible.If the latter is partial  towards whom they represent  then i am simply caught between the devil and deep sea.

Further when ever i wear a kotah saree to beat the heat and go out that night my forhead would be made to burn for two hours .A sari which i buy from honestly earned money, wear it for my bodily comfort but it is treated like as if i have committed a great crime  inviting swift retribution.Maybe it has something to do with these deadly rays beamed at me maybe the flat and thick gold mangalyam becomes visible through the transparent sari which could deflect those rays directed at my heart.
It is like this ---Rays of all types will be beamed at me targetting every part of my body , that is fine .It can damage my eyes , constrict my throat ,cause light headness and make me fall  but i should not cause even damage unknowingly any passerby even for few seconds, by wearing sari's and ornaments of my choice.                                                                                                                                                 I guess that even specs deflect these rays and that could have been the main reason to make me undergo cataract operation before they were fully ripe so that i need no longer wear specs for farsight thereafter.
So it is like this --Every other person except me has human rights . My body will be pummelled , my mind ravaged and my right to enjoy my property peacefully without any encroachment will be squeezed underfoot, all which is being done without giving a reason as to why it is done.And this has been going on since 2012!

12.4.19------             Maybe i am giving too much credit to my controllers by assuming that they deprived m eof weraing specs due to thier heart bleeding for all and sundry .I think it is as simple as doing with controlling my bodily movements . I think wearing specs and gold on me are obstacles to what ever they beam at me in order to control my bodily movements .After blogging this piece i wore my farsight specs for two days when i went for my morning walk and also at home.I could feel discomfort and pressure at the back of neck and shoulder and it vanished only if  i turned in a particular direction .And if didn' t turn i had the urgent need to visit the bathroom and if i controlled that also then pain cuffed my knees making me limp like i used to do in 2011.
So it is very important for those controlling my body movements that i turn my head or body in certain direction and that is the reason i was scared off from using specs or wearing gold on me in 2014.
Why is it so necessary to turn my head or move?I guess it is to do with messages being beamed into my ears -maybe ultra sonic as i can't hear what is being dumped into my brain but am sure they are going in , if not i wouldn't be spending so much time in writing about politics ,or lengthy travel visits or about minorities , minorities and minorities always, which is not to my benifit.
who ever is controlling my body movts wants me to hear certain messages and does not want me to hear others.They saw to that i would remove the impediments to that control by making me go for cataract operation before it was actually due so that i need no longer wear specs for farsight.They would have been happy if i had not worn my mangalyam back but i guess even the hardened and powerful politicians cannot dare trifle with Hindu sentiments that are dear to large sections of population , more over i was writing and  blogging about it.Those who read it or aware of it would not have liked my husband who has staunch Hindu beliefs to be treated in such a shabby manner  even if they may not have had  any sympathy for me.
ok back to my body control .Since i was getting knee pain etc i removed the specs and i am slowly getting back to pain free limbs.Again i have started to read and see only images and writing related to various religions that auto's , scooters , vans etc exhibit on thier windshield.Those who are back to controlling my bodily movts  viz --turning of neck, direction of eyesight and body have started doing it with ease as i don't feel any  discomfort or pressurres at back of my head , I am co-operating smoothly  to thier wicked agendas .
Hello readers , even if you happen to come across me or near me even your body movts will be controlled without you ever knowing it .You may smile or grimace or stare  at me as per the plans of my controllers.                                                                                                                                          It is used to give me thrills to cross swords with them to experiment whatever i discovered regarding my body control .Sound of planes is also used .But slowly i dropped it as they are the experts and they will  always use  another way to get my unconscious -co-operation.That is i would be moving my body and its various parts not becuase i want to but because the controllers want to and i would' nt even know that i obliged them.

So i often rummage over this magic like control i and all those near me are subject to.Are minute cameras placed  in my routine walking routes or where ever i go --like shop etc and some one is monitering my movts and even thoughts sitting in front of a screen --no .no  i am still in stone ages  I heard from a tech savy person there is a app that any flat owner can see his flat cctv from any where in the world just by click on his mobile!
So i can be watched with help of a mobile, as simple as that.But how my body is controlled  instantly is something i have no idea.It may be a super secret or i may get to know about it in course of time.
My thoughts being read instantly and an response being enacted  within minutes or at times a day's interval is to either inform me or warn me that my inner most thoughts are being read .This is possible due to readers.I read it in internet. So that is not such a great secret but how my body is controlled is a secret about which i couldnt find in the internet.

Now the q is why is it so important to control my body?Is it to my benifit--to avoid my mind be cramped with suggestions that many people seem to be capable of sending me or is it  only to the benifit of those controlling my body  ?How did so many people get a direct entry into my mind?The original culprit is the one who made it possible for all sorts of persons to get a direct entry into my mind.Who is it?Was it the outcome of the sound blasts done on me in 2012 or was it in existence even before that?Who ordered the sound blasts?It was only after that i started to write reams  and lost control as to what i  wanted to write or publish.

Who ordered the painful needling of my head in 2014 followed by  a month of dehydration  in September that made me lose my memory and confidence and sense of self , in toto and became a putty in the hands of those giving suggestions and bizzare information and those controlling my body movts ? .How is that all these persons can get away without any culpability after invading my house and body/
Or is there truth in all that bizzare info i received?That Srivaishnavaites  viz my family members will be killed one by one if i didnt convert ?Is there truth in suggestion that my bil was eased out in 2014?If it was done to avoid recitation of slokas and japa by us for 10 days why is it so crucial that we shouldn't do our normal pujas?Why is it so crucial that my husband's daily puja has to be suspended and the only way is either his demise [the way i was warned that he will pop off if i didnt convert] or death in his family.
15 days back his relative twice removed died  instantly of sudden massive heart attack  , though only 40,in iit campus mumbai  and our pujas were suspended.
If what i am thinking is bizzarre and pure imagination, so be it as  is much better than what would be if it was not .
I am joining the dots of what was fed into me in September 2014 conversion attempts.The uniquely secretive  way it was done and the fact of 2012 blast and 2014 jamming and dehydration ,and the fact  that my bodily movts are controlled  as well as those in my family even in my flat and neighbourhood, which i have observed raises my suspicion , what if those warnings given to me 2014 September or face consequences if i didn't convert to Christianity or shakthi sect is true?

Is there a link between our pujas and my writing and blogging?If so what is that link?I observed this time of that 10 days  theetu ie no puja that i got my yen to write fearlessly and frankly and kept on writing and blogging though i had lost interest after my last travel blog and had even thought that my blogging days are over  . It was also suggested that it was my writing even in my diary that was the cause   -------------------12.4.19
Mystery --as to who wants me to write and whether they will go to that extent of finishing of my hubs relatives in order that i can receive suggestions when puja is suspended .Does it mean that pujas is stopping the flow of suggestions ?
It is natural to assume that it is persons of other communities apart from Hindus who are put off by evesdropping  on our daily salutation to our gods .So will they or their Hindu backers  go to such extremes as easing out weak relatives so that persons from other communities  get 24hrs /10days acces to  our /my ears ?

                                                                                                             
I am like a prisoner in Andaman cellular jail receiving jailers tortures every day .This is a mobile jail .It travels with me like my shadow.In train journeys the jailers will not allow me to sleep .They would give either a uncomfortable tightening feeling in my head or an equally uncomfortable feeling of total emptiness.

 The intention behind burning my forehead is clearly to damage cells in my brain and make  me ask the questions  -- who am i, what am i?am in india or in Pakistan?am i married?Did i give birth to two sons three decades back?.Is it true that all srivaishnavaites are going to be finished off one by one soon ,so spend anxious nights thinking as to who is my next relative to be  in this murderous list?This inimical sly lot hopes feverishly that i will be seized with dementia and alzmeizher disease .
This blood thirsty inimical lot nearly killed my husband in 2012  damaging his heart forever and shortening his life expectation,
Thier sly murderous agenda was this -- Try and kill my husband by giving him a massive heart attack .some how he escaped and is living with weakened heart , Reason behind this murderous attack --could be due to his strong views on politics and his fondness to a leader-- who was till 2014 treated like a outcaste by Liberals and which must have offended the ' selective interpretation of secularism' of the inimical sly and selfish persons .
 All the attacks happen on our body and mind  in a sly manner within the 'safety' of the four walls of our house
                                                               In2014 they wanted  to finish me off by needling my head for a month hoping it would land me in coma or give me  seizures and then  drained all fluids out of me for nearly  a month and i narrowly escaped dehydration death as it was stopped as soon as when late CM was jailed..


But they succeeded in causing confusion and loss of confidence and self identity.

It is a fact that since 2012 September   i use to hear kicks on the ceiling from the flat above owned by muslims who were and are reisding there when i used to blog or read articles on net and heard loud noises shattering and shocking my mind and made me a nervous wreck and made me lose trust in govt and police as they didnt come to my aid even after complaining .They made it appear like as if it was I who had gone batty.
Then i slowly started to feel that i was in mini Pakistan as i was scared silly of peeping toms from above ,even in my toilet that i had to always to be on guard or purdah.No one was coming to my aid and it was like as if i was gifted to Pakistani's by Hindus.                                                                                                                                                      Apart from this  my beliefs in some superstitions and faith in karma were constantly made fun of in sly manner and visiting temples was discouraged.

After 2014 all this came in extra severe doses.I was always made to see white caps and burkha clad women or cross when i went out .This burkha dose was so severe that i mistook any black colour for burkha and still do.Since 2014 and two years after i literrally felt that i was in  mini Pakistan that is living only amongst muslims and received strong messages that  i must abandon my Hindu way of life so as to please them as they were helpless mites , in need of my help to tackle aggressive multitudes of Hindus and they can approach me for such help only if i dress, act and behave like them! Terrific emotional blackmailing.I was made to feel alienated from my family  and what i actually am and was  prevented from exercising every right i had taken for granted  like religious rights, freedom to watch any programe on TV or read books of my choice or dress as i please or drink beverages that i like  or take interest in public affairs and comment on it and it was allowed  .              If not for a hindu neighbour's  indirect support i may  have got deeper into the  vicious  emotional trap most probably laid by some sly muslims who were making me feel more and more like as if i was actually living in closely knit muslim  low class community.It was like as i was in   mini Pakistan, carved out of India in Chennai and that they  were the sovereign rulers whom i had to obey and that India , Hindus and democracy etc was some far off illusion. .

Side by side i was subject to inquisition leading to conversion attempts to Christianity .It followed even after i categorically rejected the carrots dangled before me as well as threat to my life.The inquisition was thus --You are a bad and sinful woman.Your thoughts need supervision and mending.You must be aloof from your family.You are a atheist .Your sanskrit prayers to god is wrong .It is wrong because it mentions various gods from hindu pantheon .Your prayers should not mention any Hindu god's name.Your beleif in Karma is sheer stupidity.
You are full of sin.it is sinful to touch your body,so detach mind from body and lose your sense of identity. It is sinful to have affection for your husband and your son so stay away from them and forced  me to avoid them .You should forgive every one including your harrassers.We will provoke you but you should forgive us.You are  bundle of  sins.Your late son was not a  son but a sin .A lot of such attacks on my late son labelling him as personification of sin.He and I are the two maha pavi's  in this inquisition chambers.Even if he is no longer alive and cannot defend himself against such allegations, the holier than thous , don't care . in their eyes he is as much a pavi\sinner as i am.
                                                           .All this was not only messaged into my left ears but also beamed loudly from nearby temple.for two long years.Messaging is still going on.The monologue would start when i am relaxing at noon.First i will feel a tingling sensation in my left ear and then i would hear some one talking,some times cajoling , and at other times threatening me with dire consequences if i didnt convert to Christianity directly into my ears , god only knows from where and which flat.These sessions took place simultaneusly with squeezing out liquids from me , that is when i was in a weakened state.

It is been hell since 2012 and became a unbearable hell since 2014.On one hand i felt i was in Pakistan and on other i was made to feel that i was a dirty woman in need of cleansing of my Hindu religious beleifs, values , entertainments , hobbies  and so on and the most sinned amongst sinners.So i am either in mini Pakistan or in the suffocating company of holier than thous.

Even now i feel that i am more or less  living in a Pakistan enclave detached from India despite the fact that  i recite  sanskrit and Tamil slokas  daily at front of images of Hindu deities, and meditate,visit temples , light oil wick lamps daily before images of Hindu deities in my puja room and read a lot of religious Hindu magazines and hear bhakthi songs and sweet rendition of Vedas and watch news about various  temples festivals on TV and listen to Katha kalatchepam on TV.

Because hurdles still persist .I will not be allowed to hear carnatic music in a concert.Some noise will be beamed into my ears  making it a hellish experience.In theatres or trains or hotels the AC would be switched to such a cold level that i would be forced to cover myself from.head to foot.

I am still  made to see crosses even in the jewels adorning processional deities of Srinivasar or deitie s of other Vishnu temples .Whilst muslim men have stopped following me on the road a  band of dark people with indistinguishable faith continue to follow me. In here Hindus  not fully converted to christianity wear vibhuthi and kumkum hence i used 'indistinguishable faith'.

It is like as if some one is determined that religion and sectarianism should dominate my daily life.That i should always be thinking of my religion or other religions and sects  within hinduism or about scheduled castes to the exclusion of every other  thought or activity in my life.Heavy dose of religion and religious sentiments,and sectarianism is being administered to me every day since 2014.

These sly inimical persons educated me the following in the past few years  --

1.Paying homage to mother godesses like lakshmi etc or attend homamas will offend  evesdroppingMuslims so i should avoid reciting slokas on them and stop attending homams.
2.I should avoid mentioning Muruga or Siva or Narsimha in my slokas as it  will offend evesdroppingchristians so i should skip  mentioning them
3.I should avoid mentioning Kamadhenu as that would offend evesdropping muslims and scheduled castes.
4.I should avoid hearing or reading Purushasuktum or any Vedas as that will offend evesdropping scheduled castes
5.I should avoid reciting slokas mentioning Sriman Narayana and BhuDevi as that would offend evesdropping shakthi worshippers
6.I should remove my mangalyam[and made me remove it in 2014and prevented me from wearing it for nearly two years  by putting revulsion into me that the mangalyam was used by strange men to put me under delusional -sex-control ] and gold bangles lest rays deflecting from the gold metal hurt some one, brazenly overlooking the sentiment that tamilians and south indians have towards mangalyam?Women become hysterical if they remove it even for few minutes lest their marriage fails or husband dies and i am from the same tradition.And that those--Hindus-- who knew that a thick sari covering it will prevent deflection and that it had nothing to do with delusional sex control never came and told me about it and were watching the fun.
That i was persuaded to remove it becuase after that painful needling of my brain in 2014 i  lost  a grip over my  senses, intellect, confidence and knowledge.In the pliable state i was reduced to at that time  followed by conversion attempts and forcibly dehydrating me it would have been easy material for isi and even isis or naxals to take over me .May be they did.


.                                                                            No wonder i keep feeling that i am in mini Pakistan and in custody of proleysting Christains.though very much in India and living amongst Hindus as many muslims seem to have a direct access to my ears and there fore mind.I don't even hear any thing , it is more like a thought and if i unconsciously reply a auto will go screeching down the road .I am saying it is muslims becuase the sly persons make 10 -20 pigeons waddle before me in the mornings informing in the typical sly manner of the hot line so many muslims  have with me.It could be men ,including women,could be low life or high life.but the fact is that i am always kept in touch with them in such a sly manner that what they speak into my right ears is like my own thought!It could be any suggestion ,it could also to provoke me to anger on religious matters or even against the politicians--[usually it is against Modi,] they dislike.I don't know how it is done but it is done. Can it be done without police's and govt's  knowledge and blessings?So is it any wonder that i am always in a mini Pakistan where ever i go within India?
There is another dangerous side that is to me with regards these suggestions givers apart from it to having to do with politics these suggestion givers can easily take my life if they want to .Since it is more or less like a thought arising out of me they can repeatedly send me suggestions for the following--
1.Write something that lowers me and my family in eyes of others in the society.  This was done several times since 2012.
2.Make me too angry at my family members on small issues or by ruminating over the past and thus lose their emotional and moral support.This has been succesfully achieved.
3.To harm myself .by making me remove  various parts of my body  in major surgeries .which were not in the least necessary from medical point of view.Like the uterus operation and removal of a good molar tooth .Both nearly killed me.
4.In fact my life could virtually be in the hands of these sly, hidden suggestion givers  without any culpability attached to them for taking it if they decide to do so--How can it be proved?They can give me repeated suggestions day and night and convince me to harm myself by making me think that what was being suggested is the way to get out of the uncomfortable situation i am in or even depress me and create anxiety  or make me over alert  to the point of being rash -- allthis is often done--to the point of suicide.
5.Pressure cookers loud whistle goes on and off .It is a sound made deliberately emanating from few flats.I used to hear it even as early as 2005 and 2006.Don't know as to whom it indicates.But since i know that it is given off deliberately i cannot but suspect that may be just maybe that my late son's death was not accidental.Maybe he was receiving strong suggestions to take his life when he was in a weakened state of health and he did, just a day before he had to leave for US .
                                                                                                                                   In short these sly inimical persons want me to stop reciting any slokas lest it offend any one of these evesdroppers  who can hear it even if i recite it silently !

Would any person going through all that i was forced to undergo since 2012 still pay glowing tributes to our so called democracy?Is it any wonder that i openly express my lack of trust in our political leaders who made it possible to gift all rights over  me with no duty/strings attached to the safe keeping of  every one else except my husband??
Is it any wonder that i keep on castigating our so called democracy and call it a farce?

My address--K.C.Sujata c/o Holier than thous
                      Pakistan enclave , Dalit road, Shakthi apartments,Siva nagar.Chennai.

Then there is that nasty , odiuos , unethical and immoral practise of several men from my flats , outwardly decent looking middle class men and women  who are our neighbours since we moved into these flats in 2002,substituting as my husband and son--The' transformers'.It is in practise since 2012 as far as i know .It could been even earlier.That is these neighbours will control me through my husband or son .Why should they?They have created an emotional dependancy on them which i should have only in my husband and son.My husband and son will not have political motive or hidden agendas whilst dealing with me , but definetly these transformers do .if not why should they bother about me?They succeeded over the years since 2012, to make me build my life around thier routines and family.For what? if not to get my compliance to thier ulterior political demands either directly or through my husband and son.and make me write so that they can make money or earn thier salary.

This the sickest underbelly of politics.They are virtually thieves .Real thieves will go to jail one day or the other but these thieves in decent clothing will never.Thier political bossess must be Hindus who are aware of our culture but.they are not in the  least bit ashamed or troubled by what they are doing.

What prevents any one either the ones beaming suggestions  etc or the transformers from aproaching me directly for an analysis or write up?Maybe the sly persons are used only to do things slyly for free and they are using the only the corrupt and illegal methods they are experts in to get what they want from me. All these sly methods being tried on me adds further to my alienation from all that which is taken for granted as  the normal rights enjoyed by a Indian citizen and is it any wonder that any one with a hidden agenda it could even  an enemy country to exploit
it?                                                          First and foremost people ruling over me or authorities should trust me  to make decisions after they lay bare the facts to me.No one has come forward to do it.If they are going to treat me as a ignorant, illiterate lacking in knowledge, years and wisdom others will follow suit and be emboldened to treat me in a similar manner .

Transformers are nothing but modern day Ravana's.Rama and sita had to tackle only with one Ravana but we have to be in company of a minimum three Ravanas and  Rakshasis every day. .These Ravanas and Rakshasis are drawn from all religions .It is secular distribution of assets acquired immorally,Isn't it that all politicians require everyone's votes,?.
To me a Hindu being a transformer is as odious and immoral as  a Muslim or a Christian being one.A transformer is a person who is cutting at the roots of our family life, making a joke of relationships within my family and dismmising this basic unit of society as irrelevant and useless and is seeing it only as a tool to serve political ends.
They are the worst persons in this entire chain. since they have made us trust  them and then are exploiting our trust  to the detriment of our name and standing in this society.by making me write or making us all act in a certain way unlike our normal selves.
              Simply put 'Transformers' are backstabbers.Out of these backstabbers the worst and most dangerous are the Muslim transformers as these persons or person  make me feel that i am in a harem in mini Pakistan .                                                                                                                                                All the transformers including Hindus are very  persuasive and effective in their attempts  at sewering the chords that binds me to my sense of identity, family,Hindu community, religious beliefs,, society and country and are also experts in gagging my original views and in supplanting them with theirs..However  it is the Muslim transformers who top this list.

Ranking of transformers playing with my life like as it is a cat and mouse  game.

                                I have seen cats that catches a mouse  .The cat which has caught it for a meal  will not kill it immediately but injure it in such a way that the mouse can run.The poor mouse will think that it can escape as the cat will be in   a meditative posture and the mouse will try to escape .the cat will let it run for a distance and then with great  ease and a bored look will catch the rat and flip it around by either slapping it with its paws or catch its tail and whirl it around and drop it and wait for the dazed mouse to make its escape.When the desperate mouse runs again the cat will pounce on it and then carry on this game  for innumerable times .It is a  sport for the cat whilst it is a matter of life and death for the mouse.after several such rounds the cat will finally kill the mouse and start eating it with great relish .
Once the mouse is caught by a cat it is allover for it .But the foolish mouse harbours hopes of escape and keeps trying and only exhausts itself to point of death and in that process  provides merriment to its   supremely confident and cool predator .

First rank--Muslim transformers .
Secondrank --Christian and scheduled caste transformers,

Third  rank--Hindus

Despite my disenchantment with workings of our democracy  owing mainly due to the feeling that i am being forced to live in mini Pakistan and therefore be indifferent to her present and future advancements at within India why should my heart lurch and soar whenever i see the newly erected huge Indian flag rippling majestically on top of a  govt building  half km away ,  viz Hindi prachar  sabha when i walk on the terrace ,from where it suddenly jumps into my view?
Why should i feel highly envious of China's breathtaking advancements in its economy, constructions , space and so on when i see them on TV ?
When i see vestiges of British rule in india in Chennai in form of  some dark alleys in slums[in the main roads they have been changed to  politicians names  long back] retaining the names of Britishers who once ruled over us, why should i remember my grand father with a thrill at his  rebelling against its mighty rule, courting jail for years and putting his huge family in jeopardy in order to push them away from his beloved Bharat?
When i see several Dravidian politicians strutting around , giving an impression that they are separate from india , why should i remember my grandfather who sacrifised so much and endorsed the constitution of India ,It is owing to the constitution that  these politicians have become mini kings in this state ,yet they keep on harping on Periyar who has at the most enabled them to get a govt job by creating hatred towards brahmins.My g.f was a orthodox Brahmin , so were the many who took part in the freedom struggle.If not for thier sacrifise  the bramin hating dravidians under mentorship of Periyar would have remained a only a  measly govt servant and not rule over this entire state.amass wealth and power  and prestige and also play a role in national politics..