Voting .
I did not vote yesterday in the general elections . Shameful of me isnt it when voters ranging from top actors, stars , political leaders of all shades to old and bent poor women who can barely walk had all come to cast thier vote braving the hot humid climate and blistering sun and the wait in long queues .?There was even a newly married couple wearing silk sari and finery and dhothi and a thick fresh new yellow thread [with mangalyam]- tied post haste by the groom around the brides neck ! They seemed to have hurried through a most important occasion in thier life so as to exercise their right and freedom to choose the leader of their choice for the next 5 years!
All this was shown on TV and how very touching it is to see people rushing to the booths to exercise their prized possesion in a free country viz to make or unmake a govt. and feel the pride of having a stake in steering the course of this country's future. , ,
I am not old and doddering nor in frail health nor did i have any pressing work to be done .Yet i didnt vote because i feel that i have no freedom .Freedoms that every citizen takes it for granted the way i did till 2012.
1.I have no freedom to pursue my religion .Since 2012 every obstacle was thrown in my way to stop me from leading a Hindu way of life .This became more severe after 2014 when multiple conversion attempts with Christian conversion topping the list was carried on me .Putting very bluntly and truthfully i a have no religious freedom viz the freedom to be a hindu , .Even today my recitation of sloka , japas was intruded and this has been going on without a break since 2014 .These curbs are so severe that when i plan to go to a temple ,first i must overcome the sudden depression clouding my brain[done delibetarely] with will power . Next i must steel myself for the sly retribution i have to face for visiting the temple like pain in my body or a sleepless night with constant jamming of my forhead making me feel that my brain is trapped in a thick spiders web with no escape.
In 2014 GE also i was hesitant to vote but then conversion attempts and other rigours on my thinking etc were yet to come and i was full of hope that they will be relaxed after GE.but they werenot and in fact became even more severe,
2.A lot of curbs were and are put on my freedom of expression .viz on my freedom to delve into ancient indian history or freedom to translate slokas etc as they literally mean without any 'secular' air brushing or on my freedom to write about my temple visits.Curbs were put even on blogs on my observation of life, society and nature around me.Till 2014 it was a herculean task for me to access the internet from my house.So ,there are lot of curbs on my freedom of expression.
3.I have limited freedom of movment.It was first limited deliberately by causing me injury in tooth , knees and my husband's heart and later by making my journeys very uncomfortable.So slowly i was forced to lose interest in travel outside my locality.
4.I have no right to privacy of thoughts or the right to have original thoughts.My thoughts are always monitered .and a lot of suggestions fed into me that has axed my original thinking and creativity.This is allowed . I have no fear of losing tangible wealth like money , gold etc .I can even keep my house unlocked and not fear any theft of such things , since 201 2 , but electronic items like cd player etc are often tampered with that they cannot be used But my intangible wealth like health, the freedom to relax in the manner in which i like, peace of mind and tranquility has been grossly tampered with .When my intangible rights return only then i will feel like excersing my democratic right to vote .When i can't even think freely and am confused about the identity of my harrassers orsuggestion givers o controllers viz --to which party they belong ,how can i make a choice properly and freely?
It will be a mockery of democracy if i go and vote for some one and if i later learn that i voted for those denying my normal rights and freedom .Since those persons denying me my normal rights and freedom must either be in power by being elected democratically or has been in power having been elected democratically or both .
5.A lot of people have been conferred with the right to have a direct contact with my mind .I donot know how it is done though i know mobiles are used in this contact of some stranger or maybe even known persons hiding from my view to my mind directly!So my right to choose as to whom i would like speak to or hear to has been taken away.These intruders are given a free entry to do thier picking of my mind even when i am in the bathroom and they without any shame use this right merrily every day.Revolting..
20.4.19
6.I have no freedom to control my body movements as per my will .It is very tough to fight this body control as i have seen even tall .hefty and young policemen 's body movements controlled when they are near me and i am sure that they didnot know that their body movements are being controlled.They will automatically turn thier face if i lift my hand to my chest level.They will do it like as if it is natural but as i have . been observing all this i know that they have been deliberately made to turn.I saw this today in my morning walk and felt a sick feeling in my stomach .If such strong and tough men can be twisted around where do i stand a chance of ever regaining control over my body movements?
7The most annoying part of this body movement control is the ways my eyes are constantly directed to read name plates with Muslim or Christian names or forced to see Mosques, or churches or cross or statue of Jesus or Vinayakar temple or see stickers of various religions and images stuck on autos and cars plying in the streets when i am walking or travelling in a cab or train .This excessive dose of religion in all hues has been going on since 2014.I'll never be allowed to see a whiff of passing clouds in the blue sky or stars in the night sky or green canapies or the bed of fragrant flowers covering roadsides or allowed to smell its fragrance.The flowering trees are still there lining the inner streets of Tnagar and they all keep blooming on and off in profusion sending out sweet fragrance but when i walk my eyes will always be directed to human or dog feces heaped at regular intervals or worn and,torn sanitary towels flung in middle of the road.and will be made to smell various types of stinks.
So i have no freedom to use my sensory organ viz my eyes as per my will
.Coupled with this is the loud clapping or loud noise from the palyground at front of the temple will or playing nfrom adjacent compound will be heard with a irritating loudness [maybe transmitters in my house enhance the sounds ] that would provoke me to write angrily .and keep on writing .This happened yesterday[19.4.19] and i am writing today--proof .
so i have no freedom to use my sensory organs as per my will to lead a peaceful life
.
8.Despite my having stopped blogging or even writing in my diary for months i seemed to be always at the receiving end of hostile glares and rudeness from Muslims,SC's and Christians and some Hindus in my flat as well as outside viz the shops i visit or banks etc.This was obvious since 201 2 but became very obvious since 2014.There seems to be bonding between several types of people in thier hate Sujata campaign.
9.Since 201 2 i started to feel that i have been transported to a mini pakistan sorrounded by hostile Burkhas imposing purdah on me,hostile Muslim men in pant shirt,or in kurta pyjama and white topis and leering and jeering muslim youth. The muslim neighbours living in and near my flats have greatly contributed in building up this despicable picture every day by thier open hostility towards me since 2012 .Maybe they also keep on sending messages to my mind with mobile etc that makes me feel thus. As long as i feel that i am living in mini Pakistan and am not living in Democartic and free India i will not vote .
The Christians and SC's living around me are equally rude and hostile and have forcibily seggregated me from society making me a outcaste .Apart from feeling that i am a resident of Pakistan i also feel that i am a resident of a Christian country sorrounded by its rude and snooty residents harranguing me on my want of morals , ethics and my stupidity in sticking to the despicable Hindu religion , Christian neighbours living in my flat as well as in opposite tenemets have contributed in creating this detestful life around me.
At times i also feel that i live in a hamlet sorrounded by abusive SC's venting their fury and anger and violence against me owing to my upper caste status .They have created a atmosphere of violence and seething hatred around me and I hardly feel that i am living in 'casteist free' metropolitan city .
Thus i never feel at any point of time that i am living in a multilinguistic, tolerant and peaceful metropolitan city in a free country like India .I either feel i am living in mini Pakistan or in Christian country far far away or in a SC village.
It is really strange how tables have been turned over me!
1.I was always proud of my country ,its ancient past ,present and future and revered the ground i treaded upon daily,thinking of its sanctity it has owing to Rama and host of Rishis having walked over it in distant past and would often wonder at the patience of Bhuma devi and often seek her forgiveness at being a burden to Her .Now [since 2012 ] i have no such sentiments when i touch the ground and i am compelled t o seek forgiveness from other communities and castes on events with which i have no connection at all. Now i feel i am living in mini Pakistan cut off from my roots and wiped clean of all sentiments associated with my country[India]
2.I wasn't in the least bothered about Christian conversions that took place and is taking place all over India.But i was brought face to face with it by the conversion attempts made at me in 2014.I also had to change my opinion that Christian conversions are persuasive and not coercive since mine was coerceive with a lot of death threats .
3.I never thought that i would be in receiving end of SC's violent anger but now i know i am .I think that their attacks on me are much more spiteful, hatefilled and vicious than others.This really surprised me as i never harboured even a iota of distaste or revulsion towards them and.I was very sympathetic towards them.
My experience in coming face to face with minorities and SC;s is that Some SC' and some Christians have been verbally abusive since long i would say even as far as my primary school days in Chennai and continue to do so.It was only from 201 2 that i found that some Muslims were also hostile towards me face to face and as they showed it by glaring and, jeering at me but without any verbal abuse,
Some one is constantly provoking me to anger on public affairs viz that which hogs English news in this sly hidden way of talking to me.without coming face to face.
Some one wants me to comment on issues concerning minorities and SC always.in this sly hidden manner in a manner sympathetic towards them , though actually i would see news only as news--a piece of information and nothing more
And some wants me to make amends for writing frankly about what i have experienced in my life and they start that forgiveness sessions slyly to wipe it out from my memory or make me pine in the manner the' left liberals 'would do over issues concerning minorities and SC's.that is forcing me to shed tears at thier plight in the hands of Hindus like as if it was i who was responsible for those' fringes' actions!Inter alia that it was my bounden duty to rush to the defence of minorities and SC'
when even a single hair on thier head was harmed.These selfish persons are not in the least bothered as to how my life has been wrecked by these sly hidden messaging but have the gall to expect and torment me to work myself up on issues that have no relavance to me .
What is keeping me aloft in this quagmire of quick sand is my deep faith in the doctrine of Karma.Most of the times i am pulled down into this quicksand owing to continuos attacks on my religious beliefs , sentiments and caste but i do surface at times with the help of my inbred belief in Karma , Vasanas and Trigunas and shake of these parasites .Other wise i would be always be made to feel weepy at my personal life and made to overreact to incidents in public life and keep on seeking forgiveness on behalf of other Hindus when i neither have any connection to such incidents nor am i a representative of Hindus.This yen to make me seek forgiveness for every thing around m e has crept into my life very forcibly after conversion attempts on me in 2014.If not for my belief in karma that pops up now and then i would be living in a delusional world of saintliness which is a far cry from what i actually am.
It is a queer set up . On one hand i am discouraged to lead a Hindu way of life and often made to feel that i am in a ghetto comprising only muslims or christians or sc/s and am encouraged to follow thier way of life , and thinking and beliefs with their fears and insecurities rubbing on to me giving me a minority mind set but on other i am supposed to seek forgiveness in public life on behalf of Hindus like as if i still possess that careless confidence and trust i had in people around me in this state and in the country before 2012!.
Only when my life comes back to the normal and i feel the freedom of being a confident well educated moderately liberal Brahmin woman belonging to middle middle class,which i have felt all my life will i feel that this is my country and may regain my trust in people around me and contemplate voting in elections.
I no longer enjoy the freedoms all citizens of India have so why should i demean myself by voting and make a mockery out of myself as well as Democracy.?
All this was shown on TV and how very touching it is to see people rushing to the booths to exercise their prized possesion in a free country viz to make or unmake a govt. and feel the pride of having a stake in steering the course of this country's future. , ,
I am not old and doddering nor in frail health nor did i have any pressing work to be done .Yet i didnt vote because i feel that i have no freedom .Freedoms that every citizen takes it for granted the way i did till 2012.
1.I have no freedom to pursue my religion .Since 2012 every obstacle was thrown in my way to stop me from leading a Hindu way of life .This became more severe after 2014 when multiple conversion attempts with Christian conversion topping the list was carried on me .Putting very bluntly and truthfully i a have no religious freedom viz the freedom to be a hindu , .Even today my recitation of sloka , japas was intruded and this has been going on without a break since 2014 .These curbs are so severe that when i plan to go to a temple ,first i must overcome the sudden depression clouding my brain[done delibetarely] with will power . Next i must steel myself for the sly retribution i have to face for visiting the temple like pain in my body or a sleepless night with constant jamming of my forhead making me feel that my brain is trapped in a thick spiders web with no escape.
In 2014 GE also i was hesitant to vote but then conversion attempts and other rigours on my thinking etc were yet to come and i was full of hope that they will be relaxed after GE.but they werenot and in fact became even more severe,
2.A lot of curbs were and are put on my freedom of expression .viz on my freedom to delve into ancient indian history or freedom to translate slokas etc as they literally mean without any 'secular' air brushing or on my freedom to write about my temple visits.Curbs were put even on blogs on my observation of life, society and nature around me.Till 2014 it was a herculean task for me to access the internet from my house.So ,there are lot of curbs on my freedom of expression.
3.I have limited freedom of movment.It was first limited deliberately by causing me injury in tooth , knees and my husband's heart and later by making my journeys very uncomfortable.So slowly i was forced to lose interest in travel outside my locality.
4.I have no right to privacy of thoughts or the right to have original thoughts.My thoughts are always monitered .and a lot of suggestions fed into me that has axed my original thinking and creativity.This is allowed . I have no fear of losing tangible wealth like money , gold etc .I can even keep my house unlocked and not fear any theft of such things , since 201 2 , but electronic items like cd player etc are often tampered with that they cannot be used But my intangible wealth like health, the freedom to relax in the manner in which i like, peace of mind and tranquility has been grossly tampered with .When my intangible rights return only then i will feel like excersing my democratic right to vote .When i can't even think freely and am confused about the identity of my harrassers orsuggestion givers o controllers viz --to which party they belong ,how can i make a choice properly and freely?
It will be a mockery of democracy if i go and vote for some one and if i later learn that i voted for those denying my normal rights and freedom .Since those persons denying me my normal rights and freedom must either be in power by being elected democratically or has been in power having been elected democratically or both .
5.A lot of people have been conferred with the right to have a direct contact with my mind .I donot know how it is done though i know mobiles are used in this contact of some stranger or maybe even known persons hiding from my view to my mind directly!So my right to choose as to whom i would like speak to or hear to has been taken away.These intruders are given a free entry to do thier picking of my mind even when i am in the bathroom and they without any shame use this right merrily every day.Revolting..
20.4.19
6.I have no freedom to control my body movements as per my will .It is very tough to fight this body control as i have seen even tall .hefty and young policemen 's body movements controlled when they are near me and i am sure that they didnot know that their body movements are being controlled.They will automatically turn thier face if i lift my hand to my chest level.They will do it like as if it is natural but as i have . been observing all this i know that they have been deliberately made to turn.I saw this today in my morning walk and felt a sick feeling in my stomach .If such strong and tough men can be twisted around where do i stand a chance of ever regaining control over my body movements?
7The most annoying part of this body movement control is the ways my eyes are constantly directed to read name plates with Muslim or Christian names or forced to see Mosques, or churches or cross or statue of Jesus or Vinayakar temple or see stickers of various religions and images stuck on autos and cars plying in the streets when i am walking or travelling in a cab or train .This excessive dose of religion in all hues has been going on since 2014.I'll never be allowed to see a whiff of passing clouds in the blue sky or stars in the night sky or green canapies or the bed of fragrant flowers covering roadsides or allowed to smell its fragrance.The flowering trees are still there lining the inner streets of Tnagar and they all keep blooming on and off in profusion sending out sweet fragrance but when i walk my eyes will always be directed to human or dog feces heaped at regular intervals or worn and,torn sanitary towels flung in middle of the road.and will be made to smell various types of stinks.
So i have no freedom to use my sensory organ viz my eyes as per my will
.Coupled with this is the loud clapping or loud noise from the palyground at front of the temple will or playing nfrom adjacent compound will be heard with a irritating loudness [maybe transmitters in my house enhance the sounds ] that would provoke me to write angrily .and keep on writing .This happened yesterday[19.4.19] and i am writing today--proof .
so i have no freedom to use my sensory organs as per my will to lead a peaceful life
.
8.Despite my having stopped blogging or even writing in my diary for months i seemed to be always at the receiving end of hostile glares and rudeness from Muslims,SC's and Christians and some Hindus in my flat as well as outside viz the shops i visit or banks etc.This was obvious since 201 2 but became very obvious since 2014.There seems to be bonding between several types of people in thier hate Sujata campaign.
9.Since 201 2 i started to feel that i have been transported to a mini pakistan sorrounded by hostile Burkhas imposing purdah on me,hostile Muslim men in pant shirt,or in kurta pyjama and white topis and leering and jeering muslim youth. The muslim neighbours living in and near my flats have greatly contributed in building up this despicable picture every day by thier open hostility towards me since 2012 .Maybe they also keep on sending messages to my mind with mobile etc that makes me feel thus. As long as i feel that i am living in mini Pakistan and am not living in Democartic and free India i will not vote .
The Christians and SC's living around me are equally rude and hostile and have forcibily seggregated me from society making me a outcaste .Apart from feeling that i am a resident of Pakistan i also feel that i am a resident of a Christian country sorrounded by its rude and snooty residents harranguing me on my want of morals , ethics and my stupidity in sticking to the despicable Hindu religion , Christian neighbours living in my flat as well as in opposite tenemets have contributed in creating this detestful life around me.
At times i also feel that i live in a hamlet sorrounded by abusive SC's venting their fury and anger and violence against me owing to my upper caste status .They have created a atmosphere of violence and seething hatred around me and I hardly feel that i am living in 'casteist free' metropolitan city .
Thus i never feel at any point of time that i am living in a multilinguistic, tolerant and peaceful metropolitan city in a free country like India .I either feel i am living in mini Pakistan or in Christian country far far away or in a SC village.
It is really strange how tables have been turned over me!
1.I was always proud of my country ,its ancient past ,present and future and revered the ground i treaded upon daily,thinking of its sanctity it has owing to Rama and host of Rishis having walked over it in distant past and would often wonder at the patience of Bhuma devi and often seek her forgiveness at being a burden to Her .Now [since 2012 ] i have no such sentiments when i touch the ground and i am compelled t o seek forgiveness from other communities and castes on events with which i have no connection at all. Now i feel i am living in mini Pakistan cut off from my roots and wiped clean of all sentiments associated with my country[India]
2.I wasn't in the least bothered about Christian conversions that took place and is taking place all over India.But i was brought face to face with it by the conversion attempts made at me in 2014.I also had to change my opinion that Christian conversions are persuasive and not coercive since mine was coerceive with a lot of death threats .
3.I never thought that i would be in receiving end of SC's violent anger but now i know i am .I think that their attacks on me are much more spiteful, hatefilled and vicious than others.This really surprised me as i never harboured even a iota of distaste or revulsion towards them and.I was very sympathetic towards them.
My experience in coming face to face with minorities and SC;s is that Some SC' and some Christians have been verbally abusive since long i would say even as far as my primary school days in Chennai and continue to do so.It was only from 201 2 that i found that some Muslims were also hostile towards me face to face and as they showed it by glaring and, jeering at me but without any verbal abuse,
Some one is constantly provoking me to anger on public affairs viz that which hogs English news in this sly hidden way of talking to me.without coming face to face.
Some one wants me to comment on issues concerning minorities and SC always.in this sly hidden manner in a manner sympathetic towards them , though actually i would see news only as news--a piece of information and nothing more
And some wants me to make amends for writing frankly about what i have experienced in my life and they start that forgiveness sessions slyly to wipe it out from my memory or make me pine in the manner the' left liberals 'would do over issues concerning minorities and SC's.that is forcing me to shed tears at thier plight in the hands of Hindus like as if it was i who was responsible for those' fringes' actions!Inter alia that it was my bounden duty to rush to the defence of minorities and SC'
when even a single hair on thier head was harmed.These selfish persons are not in the least bothered as to how my life has been wrecked by these sly hidden messaging but have the gall to expect and torment me to work myself up on issues that have no relavance to me .
What is keeping me aloft in this quagmire of quick sand is my deep faith in the doctrine of Karma.Most of the times i am pulled down into this quicksand owing to continuos attacks on my religious beliefs , sentiments and caste but i do surface at times with the help of my inbred belief in Karma , Vasanas and Trigunas and shake of these parasites .Other wise i would be always be made to feel weepy at my personal life and made to overreact to incidents in public life and keep on seeking forgiveness on behalf of other Hindus when i neither have any connection to such incidents nor am i a representative of Hindus.This yen to make me seek forgiveness for every thing around m e has crept into my life very forcibly after conversion attempts on me in 2014.If not for my belief in karma that pops up now and then i would be living in a delusional world of saintliness which is a far cry from what i actually am.
It is a queer set up . On one hand i am discouraged to lead a Hindu way of life and often made to feel that i am in a ghetto comprising only muslims or christians or sc/s and am encouraged to follow thier way of life , and thinking and beliefs with their fears and insecurities rubbing on to me giving me a minority mind set but on other i am supposed to seek forgiveness in public life on behalf of Hindus like as if i still possess that careless confidence and trust i had in people around me in this state and in the country before 2012!.
Only when my life comes back to the normal and i feel the freedom of being a confident well educated moderately liberal Brahmin woman belonging to middle middle class,which i have felt all my life will i feel that this is my country and may regain my trust in people around me and contemplate voting in elections.
I no longer enjoy the freedoms all citizens of India have so why should i demean myself by voting and make a mockery out of myself as well as Democracy.?
posted by K.C. Sujata at
3:17 AM
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