10 rs balm warning

Around 9 in the morning today June 1 a man drove down a black maruti van from southern side selling 10 rs balm.
is it a warning for my early morning diary notings?

This is what i wrote---I am producing it exactly.

Auditory masking -----1.6.16

5.37.am---Huge plane landing .Heard low booming sound much after the slant .Precisely at that time petty shop door with screeching sound was opened  .

Effect --Pricking sensation in vag--.

Maybe  because i said Om ----- --------4 times on seeing the plane from my bedroom window

so telling it is the trigger if plane is nearby .Maybe it can be heard in hall as well if house is very quiet?

If not for jamming my forehead this response to audotiry masking wouldn't have been so quick and continuos.

So who ever took the decision is the one who is nastying Hindu gods at drop of my deity's name

Take offs .Air pressure and auditory masking

Played the videos i had taken yesterday of the take offs of planes from the western side of my flat's terrace.
observed following---
1. The air pressure or disturbance my recorder on my camera caught was quite unbearable to hear when the plane taking off is in  a certain angle to my position .

2.When the air pressure is less there were neighbours on the terrace talking or vendors selling fruits from down below loudly or a ambulance went screeching few seconds before .

3. The planes actual sound wasnot heard except in 2 take offs .when the actual sound is  heard that ear splitting air pressure or disturbance i use to feel  when on a flight ,in my youthful days.

4.Surely a lot of aero dynamics and aero physics has gone into in crafting this sound trap  thrown
 over me

5.

i ll try and upload the videos and i am sure only scientists or those having knowledge of  aero dynamics.+ pshychology , i guess ,in bits and pieces  and not necessarily fully ,needed for making such traps can make a sense out of it

obssesion with my behind and hiding and shooting from behind it

Evening i went up to the terrace to take videos and photos of take offs of planes so as to provide proof of what i have discovered and am blogging about viz role of flights and deliberate use of sounds to get  mastery over my emotions and thoughts by persons who have designed this macabre controlling of a persons pshyche  and to put it to selfish use.
There were plenty of take offs .some near some far ,some right overhead my flat or next block.i guess that  my camera was deliberately jammed a lot of times as i couldn't catch the images properly.This jamming could also have been done when i was picturing landings  in my camera.hence the images are dull and sketchy.
Neverthless i stuck to my mission taking as many videos as possible .before certain flights viz around 6.15.and 6.25 pm neighbours came up to my  terrace as well on the next block and flat to do the auditory masking. Talking in high pitched voice and low voice respectively.and left soon afterIt was still light.
darkness  fell and as i walked up and down i started thinking about my situation .a crickets unusually loud chirping was heard the trigger i observed earlier viz last month,is to  kindle my memory and thoughts and analysis.
It  suddenly kindled  my memory , the memory of how i have been systematically abused and provoked since 2012 to write on and on and how several of my writings were flicked by media and politicians brutally.without a glimmer of conscience for doing so .
So this is how i was and am being made to write and blog.incessantly. Flights, their sound, distance positions .slanting position with corresponding sounds [auditory masking] of vehicles, people, animals insects and so on.
I had realised this harsh exploitation of my writings and writing skills in 2012 itself and had linked it to provocative noises and sudden hostility and disrespect shown by neighbours ,friends and relatives around me but had no idea that it was wrung out of me in such a well planned manner . It often perplexed me that one hand high ups were liberrally dipping into my diary writings for my ideas and on other this open hostility and indiffernce where ever i went or met people to seek explanation
.
But i was freely writing and blogging about my bitterness at being so cruelly exploited by all and sundry from top to bottom after finding out links in public affairs and high ups since 2012.I guess even this natural anger at being exploited mericilesly coupled with disrepect and humiliation where ever i went was show cased as aggression on my part and this itself became an excuse to go about this  control,  primarily for exploitation merrily .

In 2014  with jamming or actual shock punishments meted to me in June and later exhausting me physically and mentally by squeezing out fluids out of me in september and constant headaches  and filling my mind weakened by such onslaughts with confusion and terror that my mind became clamped with fear.Sop much fear that i didn't even dare to write my diary  frankly.and ofcourse was too scared even to  acces the net. leave alone blogging about my plight.
I was only when i decided to face whatever consequences when i start leading my life as before 2012 that i slowly got back some of my nerve and saw that by doing so i had called off some of the unnatural lifestyle and its related alien thinking  .Ofcourse there is still no let up in trying to keep me cornered in a den  of abnormalities , but at least i have given myself the freedom to use knowledge to unravel the web thrown over me.and the assurance that life around me is as normal as ever and not filled with terror and lawlessness.and diktats unfamiliar to a ordinary person..
These fellows really had  a good time terrifying me and creating a taliban land in my flat and where ever i go ,  in heart of Chennai!
What is the demand  behind my writings? Is it for speeches from very high ups to set the acceptable tone?Is it for ideas?
If i hadn't been constantly squeezed in this well planned manner and if my blogs [ never would i tolerate any one reading my personal diary and putting it to use] written on my own accord and free will , unlike this un familiar journalistic secular/analytical hash  used by vvips i would have been quite thrilled and would have considered it to be  a honour .But this deliberate tailoring  of my emotions in a well planned manner to suit need s is utterly despicable
This stupid conversion drama of late .that is since 2014 is to needle me on communal/secular topics so as to give fodder on one hand and try and wrest concessions on the other,  from higher ups.,
I stopped walking and sat down .It then dawned upon me that when i was thus reviving my memory and clearing the fog frankly without any fear or inhibition there wasn't a single flight. The flights were jamming my thinking .In that gap i ought to have been my original self viz enjoying the silent night sky with a feeling of tranquility.My mind had cleared but i was thinking .It was due to the screeching of the cricket .A plane came in sight --a take off towards east,  after this  10 minutes gap and as i watched and tried to film it could feel my anger rise at being so brutally exploited by vip,s or for their sake.

Political leadership changes but govenmental machinery  runs as usual  so is the case in my exploitation .The difference being that it is more hastier and non stop now.Another difference is that the current leadership came down heavily on my writings wrung out by such methods being used in influencing in foreign affairs a 'la malala' and i am guessing that foreign intrusions into my house  so as to read my diary is also kept at bay.Intentions Laudable and i do appreciate this but not the brutal and perverse method employed to  achieve it and my appreciation would increase 100 fold if similar firmness was also shown if my personal diary and other writings and activities were also not put up for public gaze and used for other purposes without my express written permission and all these shameful activities that involves constant teasing of my body and mind so as to provoke me in this burdensome activity of writing about myself on and on  is also put to a full stop.                                                                                                                         .All these puppeteers are hiding behind  my behind literraly, since it is the base of my spine and lower down which is the butt of thier concentration Whether i am in my house   or walking on the streets or shopping or attending some function or visiting a temple.

The rare times when i donot get carried  away or suddenly come out of manufactured confusions and start spilling the beans about the inhuman and cunning exploitation i am subject to, then my heart and abdomen is targetted to cause pain and discomfort.Now my heart is paining.

 Written on 30.5.16  8pm

Photos of planes landing as seen from my terrace

 The plane slanting from east to south

 Plane gliding south wards towards the airport

 PLane arriving from east.that small dot near the mobile tower

The red winged the loudest of all planes landing is slanting southwards .it is when it slants that its sound is audible.in my bedroom and toilet .

Photo's of planes landing .

The above  are photos of planes landing as seen from my bedroom window

Video of landings on 29.5.16

Video of landings taken from my terrace from 6.30-7.30am There were so many landings that it ism impossible to upload it all even now when i am uploading around 9.30pm i can see landing from the other bedroom.
below is video taken from my bedroom early in morning around 5.15 am.Observed that it is red winged planes whose noise is audible when it slants .even in this category it is only some which are audible.and not all.
Today early in morn was tempted again to take some videos[-30.5.16 ] Saw that mental handicapped youth walking up and dowm scratching down and then taking a leak followed by a man dragging his feet and soon a red winged plane was seen landing ,its noise audible .Was it being suggested that thi sparticular plane's sound is capable of or triggers off in a closed environment like in my house pains in knees[ in me]  or in heart [in my hub] and can cause confusion ?
During mammoths landing and blue winged landing there is scarcely any audible sound of plane.There is lot of vehicular movts only during all planes except when huge one lands close by.observed that bullet sound is deliberately made to hear when a plane is taking off and is curving eastwards or westwards at a distance ,scarcely visible.Bullet sound affects the abdomen and causes contractions.
Not much of such effects in the open streets but a  lot of scratching  sensation in base of spine and upper chest

Some golmaal has been systematically chalked out to deal with us.Are we so , so important or are we such a huge threat ?if it is importance then is showing inexplicable hostility is conferment of importance.wierd

some of my observations on local bjp's indifference, in fact enjoyment  to my painful jamming /shock treatment without taking my hubs or families permission and parivars turning blind eye to subsequent conversion attempts on both of us in sept 2014 and then crying over spilt milk  has been deleted .so is the role of state  police in conversion attempts also some videos are not being allowed to be uploade
d
Crows  are often shown in symbol language to mean sangh parivar of getting highly agitated now and then and it is mainly to do with puja of my hub.It means they are aware of conversion attempts on him mainly and are furious about it .Then why were they silent in sept 2014 when it was done in  public knowledge and didnt even bother to inform him to take care?i am in most eyes a gone case but hub has symapathy so why be indifferent then and then lock the stable when horse has bolted.The activities are all as per planes movts and pretty systematic.so systematic that conversion is easy.Ok why conversion? What is being achieved by this on going onslaught on us with police backing?Is it just for thrills?cannot find any other valid reason for this madness.

Planes and sounds

Sounds are used in my control.

In my house i can hear the vibrating sound of  landing when the plane takes a curve or slant and this sound is used to trigger some response in my sound broken ears and forhead.I can also hear take offs that take off overhead and not in the west side.Since east  side is near my bedroom but donot hear it when i see it straight ahead but only when it slants  which is the usual landing path i guess its sounds  coupled with vehicles rushing down the street in a unusual burst of activity are used to give me auditory signals. i guess bullets are used as thier deep rumble can be heard from quite a distance and could be the auditory maskings for take offs in west.

 Observed this in my toilet as well as up in terrace.The sound of vehicles is heard only in that same corner in the road viz south to north .As also voice s of neighbours  are used in this signalling .loud and high pitched  for provocation ,soft and musical for getting things done.at various spots in our compound

 This could explain the using of turnings in ray attacks when i am on the streets.


when i go out as i will not be able to hear the rumble  of the plane a set of vehicles ply down just before a plane is horizontal .This sound is auditory masking as per wikki and this is not sound masking.Auditory masking is to trigger the auditory signals  with sound simultaneously used or just before or after the original signal to make it more effective and  not mask it .A human being and animals can detect direction only horizontally and not vertically by sound and zeroing on its source viz the direction it is coming from.Sounds used just before the real auditory signal is more effective than the sounds used after the signal. I observed that sounds of scooter, van motorbikes precede the flights.Hence they are being put to effective use to abuse my pshyche

 Sound masking is to do with privacy whereas auditory masking is used in reverse that of constant watch as is done in  surveiliyence.We are subject to auditory masking .for past 4 years ,specially me as i was always annoyed by loud screeching  sounds and after that sound blasting it became impossible to restrain my annoyance



As per wikki this auditory masking used in Phycho accoustics is not permitted to be used on human beings

Joke ,who cares for such trifling things like  permission and international standards  ?

After blogging this ,felt anger rise when i mediated ,an unusual feeling  .Which means i was worked upon which again means that  my  blog on physcho accoustics is correct and we are subject to it and those doing it couldn't stomach my unraveling this and blogging it .Actually i had observed the connection between deliberate sounds used often in  a lively environment in here at my locality that had become morbidly silent, so as to  make auditory masking possible and provoke me and  make me write.But never connected it to sound of planes .During floods there was no air traffic nor any vehicular traffic yet i wrote maybe provoked by boisterous family and loud  clapping of hands by youths on a submerged lorry in the open space. And got concessions for tn.

There is no connection between my blogs on hinduism ,srivaishnavism for which i take a lot of pains and what i actually achieve.Former a lot of pageviews in my blog after google +.But on  blogs written without any preparation, just like that there are at times stupendous pay offs though  not to me personally but to general population in here.
Instead of being feted for such concrete achievments through ordinary my writings  i am being constantly driven on and on .with a lot of hostility.
Since my memory is returning and i am quite sure whetner any politician  can agree to it or not or make fun of it by showing me as some sort of loony that my writing sand blog did achieve the following

From 2012 to 2014 i was  used in  some facets of foreign policyThere are quite a few and i am too tired to list it all
it finally culminated in that deal of release of a political leader from the harsh laws of us and maybe my obstinacy to get something for all instead of one did clinch Kudankulam .

After 2014 june with my head jammed and drained my diary writing were being used in several ways  for giving ideas in national politics as well as in foreign policy and .Concrete one would be again in foreign policy .the fruitful trip to uae.

Recently my writing during floods would have brought a lot more concessions from centre than what was expected .

Am i being delusional ?Wish i were.Fact is no ordinary blogger would be subject to this sort of non stop control cum provocations alternating between hard and soft cop style in a environment that is deliberately controlled ,where ever i go .even to next state unless there is really a deep fascination for my personal notings and writings.
Maybe the weakness lies within me I should bother only about my self and next family .why should it rile me when  i feel that  name of our country i being besmirched  and wants me to do something about it through my blogs?Like i came out of my 10,months long hibernation to try and stop that award wapasi mass hystreia by relating the position i am in ?I am not all that patriotic like so many around but do   feel  it occasionally .I am also not that humanitarian as so many around but do feel it occasioanlly and s it is  these two bits which is being exploited to the hilt.

Effect of blogging about two major warnings?

On the night of  19 .5.15  blood spurted out whilst passing motion at night.Not painful but sight of so much blood was unsettling.

That days morning activity was my usual morning walk in the usual beaten track .But did something unusual and saw something unusual but usual.in some days.

Discovering that it is my  bangles that small strip of gold  encircling my hands which  is capable of deflecting rays directed at me i deliberately raised my hands in turnings and near turnings  --the prime spot for ray attacks on me in the pretext of  dabbing the sweat off  my face with a hanky or adjust my sari  pallu periodically hoping to warn and ward off attackers and their stooges .Had the usual dose of scrathches on the way up .On my return after crossing the main road and entering nearly the middle of  a street i let down my aching hands as i felt that i had crossed the danger spots.I was facing east.Then i twisted my wrist watch in my left hand up from down so as to see the time and left the tar road on to the mud so as to give way to a white car  medium sized car that was driving down which didnt budge from its position  and than i saw  a white medium sized car that had come behind me noislessly  on the my left careeren wildlyand nearly collided with the car coming down and missed it by a whisker and then went ahead.This skidding and near collision  stopped me on my tracks and  i felt my mouth go dry This happened near a huge green metallic dustbin.

It was much later that maybe this collision could be the result of ray deflection sank, into me .I didn't even mention it in my blog that day as i was getting pretty fed up of painting myself as a mini missile launcher by giving instances of such minor accidents and wasn't too sure whether my ordinary off guard motion of my hands caused it .since that day when i was on guard and delibertaely baited my attackers nothing happened . But after two days on and remembering that whilst i bathed that day after my walk i felt a tingling in base of my spine  and that night i passed blood along with motion.and reasoned that the ray attack on me on 19 th was pretty powerful as its deflection has caused a car to skid and this was followed up probably having  the aim go  waste at my sudden movment,  on a equally powerful attack on the base of my spine , whose result was spurting of blood like spurting of fluids i am again witnessing  these days.This spurting of blood has happened 4 or 5 times since my surgeries.and i was under the impression that it could be due to piles or somesuch thing but i think it is  effect of rays as a punishment.

2.Whole of yesterday  viz--20.5.16 heard the booming sound of bullet motorbike being deliberately  driven up and down inside my compound by neighbours --son and  that night kneading twisting pain started travelling up and down my legs waking me up from my sleep from midnight onwards   -the exact word in Tamil is Kudaichal also the exact word the 10 rs balm seller uses to explain the symptoms  his herbal balm would cure .
 after nearly 4 hours of wishing the pain away   i took a pain killer and pain left and sleep returned to be replaced by a weird dream  intersped with unfamiliar curse words .Not one of them is in my long list of usual curses.Totally different and revolting.

Viewers do remember that my forehead is jammed and rfid is constantly activated and exploiters hiding behind my late father a very sincere man , full of integerity and would never ever stoop to such low levels  to keep his hearth burning  , kept coming up as i relaxed my muscles .Was being constantly hypnotised .

So 19 th  and 20th were  days of punishment  for daring to compare the two warnings and to make light of 10rs balm warning. i was being punished shadowily for trifling with terror tactics used over me to get my compliance or trifling with the punishment for being 'Communal '+commenting on political leaders , hence considered as a person mocking at authority . A terrible sin for which i was made to pay the price..

written on --21.5.16

So am i  being coerced  to concede that the effect of 10rs balm  warning is much more lethal than the Velon varugha warning?
If so let me make it clear .i still  consider the latter to be worse of the two The former is to do only with physical harm and pain but latter is to do with thought policing and wriggling into my pshyche.The latter is insidious and can change my entire personality, thought process and keep me chained to alien thoughts and totally fetter my freedom.The former only immobilisse me physically but doesnot tamper with my decision making or my thoughts nor  triviliase my responsibility i take and have to take for my thoughts and emotions..
A person maybe be physically handicaped like the blind or lame but due to thier mental faculties being intact they are able to face the world.This is nearest similie to effect of 10 rs balm.s warnings effect

But a mentally handicapped person though having robust health is useless otherwise , like that mentally retarded boy who is often let loose to warn me.This is nearest similie to 'velon' warning.

That boy was born handicapped but i am being systematically to be made intoone                                             To me this constant monitering of thoughts and  some fellow sitting judgement over it  24 hours a day and trying to manipulate my thought process to suit his ,is the worst form of torture a torture that takes away the sense of i and self and my identity. and substitutes it with our,ourselves and a standardised  identity fitting it into comfortable non threatening blocks which clearly exhibits the fear  of independant thoughts and views and emotions  and  thus  inhibits  the expansion  and  free exploration of the mind. It is cutting at the very root of my spiritual experiences , intellect  and clarity of thought .

 is this Velon warning  about consequences i have to face from the minority  community or is it from Hindus ? If it is the latter i am totally flumoxxed at the change of coats of persons belonging to hindu community.Hinduism is one of the freest religion and isnot in the least dictatorial specially with regards to ethics and morals.Gita nowhere says you must follow only my teachings.It says this is how life here and there after is and i am showing you various ways to achieve eternal bliss. it is upto you to make the choice It now where adapts a holier than thou attitude.Even acharyas  and aazhwars who were all seeped in knowledge and bhakthi keep listing out their inadequecies quite frankly, yet they have hold over our hearts.
And none of them not even a single one of them claimed that they were gods or envoys of gods even after ,all of them experienced  bhagwan and  some  actually seeing bhagwan  unlike several godmen/baba's in  the last century and  in this century claim that they were themselves god .! 
                                                       Gita in the chapter on divine glories says Dyutum chlayatam asmi  [36] which means 'I am the dicing of the deceitful' thus including even  vices as a part of divine glory.When the religion i am born into is so free , if my  vices are constantly monitered and punished thus by hindus themselves,then they cannot be hindus but a immitation of thoughts and beliefs and illliberal thinking  which is not at all what hinduism  actually is . .

Thoughts and link to flights and sounds

19.5.16 Thursday .
AM
3.25 am saw a huge plane landing very close .Lost sleep.Felt too vacant and too awake for so early in the morning.Saw the lights sailing down, because i woke up to go to loo.Seem to have woken up or was woken up just  to see it glide down

5.45 Big to huge landing 6.25.huge slow -landing

7.50 --medium sized to large plane landing swiftly .Felt like finishing all the outside work  like going to bank, post office and shopping i had to do allotting  two to three days to do them , to finish it all today itself and that to on foot.and today  morning itself . i felt i have to .

8am --Saw a big to huge red winged plane land slowly. As i watched it felt, why to do all these works today itself?Do some tommorow --a moderation in activity .
8.05 --Huge plane very close very slow .Missed the feeling as i was not relaxing and watching the sky but busy jotting down timings and feelings that seem to change as per each landings nearness and speed !
Probably it is more  relaxing , slowing me down .

8.25.Huge landing very near.
Felt anger at these fellows my neighbours, my age one's who have  set me up thus.These fellow are never on foot always driving  on scooters.Physically useless .Are they getting vicarious pleasure by seeing me dance in excessive activities .I can take it can my hub take it?He has a heart problem .Perverts, sadists   .Are they driving my hub too much to finish him off?

So huge landing clears my mind .if not couldn't have found out the above though i now remember that in dehydrating days of September 2014 it was put into my head rather whispered in to my ears that i  would be a zombie if not for pumping that is done outside by slum tenements and workers around me .thanks to them i shed my lethargy!Did i ask for this burst of youthfulness it? which planet  am i going to conquer?Or am i being prepared to become a minister or mp or mlc or panchayat member?Nothing of that sort .So why should i be made to become artificially lively, bursting with nervous energy and with  artificial youth  and unnatural boistreouness/?So what is the logic behind this constant brain washing ?Is it to extract and then scoot making me incapable of putting a fight against this exploitation or seeking justise or even voicing my opposition to this forcible extraction , the way i was kept out of net for a year ?
 .                                                             i was being mislead with  typical  sexual innuendos.After jamming my brain for a month with unbearbly painful screwing of brain from all sides from above my flat  and from below my flat it  had become easier to control my movements and they were being done with planes flights and synchronising with sounds of scooter, van, auto , motorbikes  of late with more potent sound of bullet and probably a mere feather touch by those gadjets and rays are sufficient to provoke my forehead deep emotions,[ it no longer goes deeper than the scalp or skin ] to make me write or do something..

The nearby  temple that had perked up for few days with its slokas and its holier than thou hourly advise, is silent today.

Choice between devil and deep sea.

I have no choice in the warnings i get and its follow up punishments

10 rs balm means physical injury,Very serious ones before 201 4 .Now it is mild
velon varuga means mental injury ,very serious before 2014 ,A bit milder now.

Of the two i d rather prefer 10 rs balm as it is a attack on body as it can be endured and cured

But donot like the mental attacks that is the punishment for the warning  velon varuga  since it gets into the mind unsettling it , causing fear , revulsions   , confusions and disorientation which has no cure .Of  late revulsions .This is the worst of the two .

 i donot remember the warning i got before my tooth ache which led to implant.way back in 2011.The worst punishment this far . The above observation is for 2015-16  the period when i started to understand the significance behind such warnings

Saw  landings in the morning despite clouds .So after 2 days of going off the sky they are back,

Yet again Velon [Murugha] kaaka kaaka warning.

I am getting pretty tired of the two major warnings that seem to be given so often that  it is eating into my daily activities and i am forced to come on the net and cough it out , that is ,all that i have written  in my diary or said in my house or face some damage to body and pshyche  if i ignore them .
This warning was played in the morning today , around 8 am the time i have observed as being allotted to the two major warnings.So i have dropped every thing and here i am  to give my confessions and observations on discomforts in my body .
The day dawned, rainy and sky laden with rain bearing  clouds , spread uniformly  eclipsing the sun totally.This weather report has nothing to do with my coming on the net as any landing or take off of flights that are close with which what i am going to relate , and with which my life seems to be bound ,will still be visible. It is just  a warm up ,to start the work thrust on me.

Whole of yesterday i didn't see a single landing but kept hearing and at times seeing take offs .This trend started day before itself.The following is what i have observed and noted down and cough it out.

Sunday --15.5.16
Huge plane's landing seen very close from my bedroom window at 8.32am On time  as per  my last 2 weeks of  observation and noting it down
I had gone for a morning walk  earlier and timed it so that i will be back when this huge plane sails by at the time it has never missed  so far viz 8.30 sacrifcing the relaxation time on another sure huge landing at 7 50 as i wanted to get some exercise for health sake.
Big planes landing before this and after this mammoth , But from 10am i am observing take off's!In the eastern sky visible from my bedroom!
10.10--Take off at a distance , over opposite tenements
10.15--A huge plane's take off , just over the tenements  going straight east and then curving and going south east  .Airport is in south west.direction .Strange!

Today had a early bath and early pujas . i keep on repeating this innocuos routine becuase the theme of religion conversion etc has been spread too  thickly to my daily mundane routines.so thickly that it keeps raising my suspicion that it could be a cover for something  else or some one 's doings , more  sinister which could be  a shameful blot on reputation of  our country..

unusual--There are usually a lot of landings in Saturday and Sunday , But today i am hearing only take offs and seeing them which normally as per my observations of past two weeks has to be only after 11 .30 am  specially on weekends at time stretching to 12.10pm .Maybe shcedules change.Don't know.

10.25.am Take off over my bed room loud So near.So time to be free of control?like in close landings?if so   the time for freedom is being maintained both ways.since 10.20--30 is time for close landings

                   Take off day   Monday --16.5.16
Went to terrace early in morning to do a two in one combine walking with observation of flights.

5.30.--6.30.No landings Lot of take offs in west  side .but at 6.25 and 6.30 take offs on eastern side going  pretty close to overhead and 6-30 one taking a curve to south .
my companion on terrace was a pigeon and on and of a pitch black crow.i was reading hymns in Tamil greeting dawn and waking up Sri ranganathar as the cool breeze of morning and restful quietitude of dawn which is picturised in words that are a treat to read and tell and soak, in those hymns invited me to do so .

The perverted pairing continues to be propogated .

Started to feel itchy on upper left side of my body.
Around 6 26 before the arrival of huge take off it suddenly struck me that maybe the flights plan was changed because i blogged about it , in short because of me!
If so why have i been given this stupid , perverted dangerous power , forcibily?Why that fellow who did this to me be hauled up?
Just to control me or to keep me away from causing some harm , entire flight schedules had to be changed, and manipulated and controlled?Was it so important to control me in the first place since 2012 ?Didn't those who did this to me never bother about collateral damages  and other consequences? Then i mocked my own anger by saying how would inhuman people bother about all such fall outs?

Am i over reacting to this Monday schedule?maybe such changes do take place once in two weeks and shouldn't i observe  whole month to come to such conclusions?
6.55 A loud take off heard from my bedroom .The exact time of mammoth landing.So may be i am not over reacting.
Timings of close flights is being maintained , only it has changed from landing in south from east to take off from south to east  either curving southwards or curving Northwest wards  or plain south to north over head

7.49--Take off over head naturally north wars.
8.14--Take off .Huge.Over opposite tenement on my right of bedroom window going east and then slanting south wards
So timings of huge ones are maintained.

Is this my new Narayana?Does it benifit us? or is it detrimental to us or one of us? .

Was translating desikans slokas on Rama .Saw a take off in east and took a slant north wards .felt a slight pain in my upper body and heart. Some was using the rays .carrying forward the conversion drama or controlling or both.saying don't you dare' translate'  slokas and hymns .

Is the change in this schedule of flights is to do with my determination to carry on as usual and continue to wear my gold bangles which has become the villian and not the rays directed at me the way  it is  potryaed and i also observed that it deflects them making scooters etc wobble or skid .Can a deflection harm a plane? unbeleivable.
Even if it is true no one came and informed in proper manner.So why should i leave my practise of wearing  bangles of shining metals since childhood?Would any girl or unmarried or married woman or widow be without a spot of gold on her ?If deflection is true weren't  those who set me up unaware of this indian custom .being indians?
Am i really jeopadrising lives ?surely i would be informed and not  be allowed  me  to assume this and that  .

Yet, yet if the flights were changed because of me[,unable to admit in open, the inhumanity perpretated on me  by authorities ,] i am unable to stomach this change in flights plan .It is too enormous.Aern't flights changed only for PM of india and not even to his ministers or chief ministers?Or changed for a short period  when a world leader is visiting? Such changes for an ordinary person /citizen is unthinkable.I feel like vomiting at the enormity of this situation.

17.5.16--Tuesday

Rainy cloudy
Heard only take off's
6.35--Take off over head. loud.

Observation  of effects of take offs

1.Since day before am having persistent itching in upper left torso and at times pain in heart .

2.That cluck cluck  sound heard near my ears often, has vanished or has become inaudible.A relief of sorts .It is a irritating sound to keep me in a  hot line contact non stop with people hidden from view.

3.  I have to observe again , note down timings and try to unravel take off's effects on me  just when i had nearly cracked landings effects and had arrived at my tiny space for freedom from control.

8 am got the warning and so came and coughed it out.

Some more observations--on effect of take offs  with the  rider i am at home and didn't go out due to rains  .

4. I am getting back my confidence .Started to feel , this is my house , my life , i am its mistress and my hub its master.This feeling  is   to a certain extent .
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5.A bit of my  gloomy nature  like the weather outside is returning .Good . It feels like myself and i want to be myself and to feel i am Sujata  .

More normalcy if i start  feeling the following--

1.when i find my concentration is not disturbed whilst reading  general articles, articles  or books on Hinduism , and  note down either the  summary or translations of such article or books on Hinduism.

2.when i visit temples if i donot get pain in my knees or various discomforts either immediately or later at home then it would mean that the normalcy i had before 2011has returned .

3.When i stop writing reams upon reams about myself ,my problems and stop  fishing too deeply into my past  then it would mean that i have my house all to myself as it was before 2010 ,with no one spying or influencing me.shedding the feeling of grandoise which was deliberately fanned externally and get back to thinking that i am as ordinary and as mundane and normal as anyone around, a  state of mind i had before 2010 which has nothing  to  boast about..

4. when the nearby temple starts playing 'Angalathuma vaadi amma'instead of Venkateswara Suprabhatham at 5am with hourly advise and stops playing kamakshi suprabhatm at evening 6pm  and all flood lights removed i ll know that Thomas road is back to normal and the days of constant 24 hours of unwanted company  /monitering me , is over for good.

And i 'll get back my insignificant, mundane  life much to my relief.

If so would i have  any regrets?Maybe a tiny bit , to be off the limelight .But the price i paid or was forced to pay was to  live in a state of  forced grandiosity  due to constant attention , [even if most of it was only hostile ] has had  nothing concrete emerging  out of it to satisfy my labour nor any open recognition to goad me on .

The price of this grandiosity forcibly wrapped around my shoulders  is too high , so very exhorbitant that i cannot afford it ..

Twin attacks to wash my brain

I am subject to two types of attacks.one on my body and another on  my subconscious.

Red rays constitute the attack on my body and hypnosis on my subconscious.

Of the twin attacks on me, it is the constant attack on my subconscious through hypnosis which  is the worst.as it can alter my personality and make me lose my independence and my individuality and clarity of thinking and myself .

i caught on to the fact that few months that  i was being hypnotized more or  less nearly  less every day  when my late father used to arise  before my closed eyes when i used to stretch myself before  sleeping in bed at night or doing savasana  the yogasana to relax tired limbs after a tiring walk or whilst trying to clear the mind of tension and anxieties.I would force myself to wake up and not give in to the much needed rest lest i be hypnotized  which would make  me do something or write as per the hypnotists bidding .I am dead sure that i deleted a lot of posts under hypnosis.and god knows or rather the hypnotists knows as to what else suggestions i took and may be still taking

Though my father is the person who often comes other members of my family , late mother late brothers also come , at times unlike my fathers regular appearance Ii used to like his appearance but when i found out that my dear late father was being misused , alarm bells would start ringing the moment he appears in my closed eyes and will summon all my will to shake myself awake, knowing very well that i may not get a good sleep if i jerk up .I  also wonder whether even his brief appearance for a second or so before i jerk myself awake  is sufficient to make suggestions sink.and in that split second damage has  been done.

observed that after the petty shop was or has closed down, my father  does not appear as i stretch myself in the bed at night .

i guess that the ray attacks  facilitates hypnosis ,Why should Rays target my parts that are not public mildly on and on , not causing any excruciating pains unlike my tooth or knee pains in 2011?It is more or less giving pleasure and is  relaxing  thus setting the platform for hypnosis as i stretch myself after leading a artificially  induced day of lotus eaters life.or rather a brain washed life.

In for some more hypnotic sessions .The petty shop has opened.no sooner than i blogged this.How will the deflection of rays be taken care of if that shop and it users are the culprits?And i remember that during floods this shop was submerged and remained closed for few days there after.My father use to come before my sleep at those time seven when this shop was closed down .If at all if there is any risk from this spot it could from casing .

I have done my duty of informing all about possibility of risks and i  will not sit at home or not  wear gold all .of which i was made to remove under  threats and lurid suggestions under hypnosis in 2014.Those who have implanted me thus and set me up like a micro mini missile have to take care ,. if they care for  other peoples safety and not expect me to do it.
Today in my morning walk two lads crossed and came near me and i shifted my purse from one hand to another.A man in a scooter went nodding his head as if appreciating what i did .A few feet  away i heard sound of vehicle grating, turned and saw a scooterist  wobble  when he was going on opposite side.was it due to deflection of rays?as i walked saw a grim looking thin fellow look at me as if he had done something fishy.

Found out meaning behind the reverse sound of cars --chup chup .It is a signal that my [ probably husbands also] optical fixation which is  one of the three main steps to hypnosis has been achieved .

Explanation on differences

After giving my piece of mind on the perverse pairing of  the two major sects of Hinduism with other two religions in the earlier blog and constantly provoking me with it , i remembered that the young advocate [whose parents are dressed like any of us] had come to sort of  receive us when i and my hub returned from visiting Sri Ramanujar's  sannidhi in Sri perumbudur temple . The young IT  engineers , a mix of Aiyars and Christians  who offered their help after the floods also  came to my mind.

on the whole of late  i have become suspicious  of those doing this pairing as it can be used as a subconscious tool for conversion .

But i am yet to lose my trust and belief in the idealistic innocence that is in some youths and my be ,just maybe there are some such educated youths who genuinely find a identity of concepts  in this pairing as they find solace and support  and unity in this type of pairing  .Hence i felt a bit contrite and am blogging this for them .so as to explain some irreconcilable basic differences that exist between our religions  though my knowledge of other religions is quite scanty , i have picked up some basics from here and there,  If this breaks their idealistic conceptions like 'one society ,one religion that has all religions in it '  is all very nice to hear but impracticable , i am truly sorry.But truth is bitter.

This how the pairing must have been done.Sri vaishnavism as propogated widely by Sri Ramanujar believes in Maha vishvasam-absolute faith  and absolute surrender at Narayana's feet.
 i read the board outside  the flat on immediate upper floor  which in gist says Nothing happens without his will so surrender to his will .So the concept of surrender  popularised by Sri Ramanujar is some what similar on the face of it.But Ramanujar also emphasized on  the supremacy of Vedas , Gila and other sacred texts.
Hence SRi vaishnavism is not limited to one surrendering and absolute faith but also includes vedic injunctions and upanashidic philosophies Sri Desikan has given a huge list as to what a surrendered person has to do to attain moksham It is exhaustive and very tough to implement.He also stresses on the supremacy of Vedas
So sri Vaishnavism is not all that simple as to say ,OK i have done the ritual of surrender through my acharya now onwards my road is clear and i  will be attaining moksham, definitely on my death .He is still bound by karmas .Desikan admits and laments often at the mountain like karmas -mostly bad deeds he has accquired in this birth and keeps on  imploring bhagwan to extinguish them ,knowing well that come what may all are subject to that inexorable law  of karma  which takes its own independent course and it requires ones own efforts to get rid of them.Even good karmas have to gotten rid of

There .is a story deemed as a actual vent that took place during the time of Ramanujar .That the processional deity of Melkote temple  was taken as booty by a Delhi sultan who generously allowed Ramanujar to take it back and his young daughter who had played with this idol like as if it was a doll could not bear the separation and hence followed Ramanujar on his return trip to Melkote and remained there till she passed away.It is said that it is in commemoration of this devotion that her idol was installed at the base of both the presiding as well as processional deity  known as cheluva narayana at Melkote temple.I have observed this small idol at the feet of both deities. Very rare indeed .normally in Vishnu temples there is a separate sannidh for his consort  as well as far Andal the great Tamil poetess and aazhwar of 9 th cent ad.

Being a history student the dates kept niggling me .it just didn't tally.at the time f Ramanujar there was no sultan at Delhi or any where in India.They were yet to establish their rule which was done much later by Ghori. which was after Ramanujar Ghazni the serial invader who preceded ghori  never came down south
As per historical dates this event could not have taken place at all.Sri viashnavaites who follow the life history of Ramanujar written by writers of earlier times will not believe what i deducted and will also not care for my opinion .But those youths either of Muslim community or secular Hindus check the dates in net and apply your mind if you are  besotted by this story.and think that this is a unifying factor between our two religions

To put it simply i am  a Sri vaishnavaite but am not one of you.My sect is a important branch of Hinduism and Hinduism is a religion   .I do not buy the argument that Hinduism is nothing but a way of life.  Hinduism is a religion .

The other pairing is christian and saivaites .which may be because of similarity in philosophy .Shankara who propagated Advaita philosophy also emphasized on the supremacy of Vedas ,shastras ,gita and other scriptures .
We all know that Vedas prescribe rituals which clearly distinguishes Hinduism from other religions But here since unity is sought to be found on concepts and philosophy only, i did not go into that obvious difference  as well as idol worship and importance of forefathers.
Even if both philosophies may be similar to a certain extent Advaita also  gives a leeway to become one with the ultimate or Brahman only after extinguishing karma's either in this birth or in the next or after that also in tune with the general belief of Hindus voiced in  Gila when Krishna says 'Arjuna i you and i have passed through several births whilst i remember them all [being avatar of Vishnu] you do not.

Though philosophy could be similar .Merging with  self -Aham bramhasya .Definetly on one score there is a yawning difference between saivaites/advaitins/hindus [includes visishtadwatins in general tho' philosophy is little different]on one side  and christians on the other  which is unbridgeable.Concept of birth  and sin
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Again it was  one of my neighbours who explained the christian concept of birth and sin ,briefly .
He said i believe in christian thinking ,saying"" isnt life in this world full of misery?so our birth is nothing to celeberate about.Isnt it a sin to born in this world? .

i was clearly taken aback by this view as i have read again and again in various types of books on hinduism that for a hindu to take birth as human being is achieving the top most scale  in the scale of births.i also believe in it.

Even scientifically speaking didn't Darwin state with enough evidence that all life has evolved from ameoba and then evolved into fish then animal and finally  evolved into human beings?even speaking from Vaishnavaite view point of avatars , the earliest avatar  that Vishnu took is that  of a fish and then a turtle and then a boar and then a half lion half human-Narsimha and then human beings like Rama, Krishna .

Human birth is not at all considered to be sinful but highly valued and cherished and is seen as the ultimate birth in the cycle of births and deaths and re births --[births that include insects, reptiles, animals . plants --are all down the scale and considered lowly in comparison to human birth ]

Human being is highly valued in Hinduism because it gives a being the capacity to understand the workings of nature , universe and the ability to comprehend the existence of the ultimate power --god and also the chance , unavailable to beings of lesser intelligence to attain this or merge with this and become a part of that  creator/power as per advaita,and as per visishtadwaita it is a chance to attain a lot of powers and to be of eternal service to the creator/ supreme being in his abode.
Though we may use words like sin-paavi etc,  its meaning is not in any way similar to that which it is put to use in the other religion.

For Hindus, human birth is not a sin but a jewel in the crown.   

Hinduism is not a way of life but a religion .Maybe i should be more specific and say Sanatana dharma but in local and common usage we use the  word Hinduism and it  means  just that viz Sanatana dharma .

Yet again a 10 rs balm warning

Around 8-8.30am as i was waiting for the huge landing and get my mind free of external control and do some cool thinking about the abnormal situation i am in , the 10 rs balm vendor started his rounds on a moped selling the herbal oil for knee pain, back pain, chest cold .tooth ache and uneasy kneading of limbs.A severe warning to be noted or face some accident .

He is selling balms like as if he knows the aches and pains i have been suffering since 2011.Some of these pains reached thier peak in 2011 --tooth and knee pain and then slowly and steadily lost that degree of virulence.At that time even my family members were suffering from chest cold and tooth aches , all of  a sudden.My husband even suffered a heart attack in 2012 when the mission to break me was in full swing.

few days back i was woken up from my sleep in middle of night by a kneading/twisting pain in my limbs--arms and legs .the tamil word that describes this pain better and as announced by that seller  when listing out the pains his balm would cure is --Kudaichal. I ignored it as it wasn't severe or long lasting.But i also have pain in my left arm for past few days and found it crops up on and off.Slight and in jerks so ignored it.
Maybe reason--I started to wear 2 more gold bangles  .When i wore it the child down let out a howl.
Probably this jewellery is a brake on those wanting to target my knees lest it get deflected and affect the scooterists, l mind you ,my harrrasers are not all that kind to our community , only those of other community ,sent specially to foster the myth of my going jelly in such persons presence. .I wore them deleberately to try and ward of ray attacks.

Is the balm doing his round warning against my wearing gold shining bangles gifted to me by my parents bought from my father's  hard earned money or is it to do with my recent blogs in which i link politicians to appeasments and for unashamedly using my writings?Writings litterally wrung out of me due to constant  provocations which became  unbearably too quick and fast ,after the implant, jamming and dehydrating?

The above warning is given as per my observation when i comment on politicians doings or ommisions .This has to be combined with getting riled at other communities  , in my case my neighbours who have been a source of constant provocation and have openly exulted in the abnormal secretions my body was forced to excrete with generous application of rays etc .

let me explain this ray 's effect and its link to upper floor.
few weeks back i was standing in the balcony watching the street .A young woman from next block started to walk vigorously around her flat .since 2013 2 all natural walks  or residents have stopped ,most of it is ti provoke me in a some way, so is playing of cricket ,it is done in fits with more shouting than actually enjoying the game with  a free will  playing.Same is the case with kids .None of them play naturally as kids do at time of thier choosing but are made to run around shouting and the groups are also selected  as per communities or sects to send a message .
ok back to rays.-i looked at that fair and trim woman and thought why is she so grim?In her  next round she lost that grim look a smile on her face ! I was taken aback as i have always seen her thus--grim .I n the round next to this as she turned the corner she was again grim .A red blob of light aimed at from my immedate upper floor made her lose this grimness instantly and her lips curled into a smile the way i have caught myself doing it without any reason  or occasion to smile for,So this is the effect that red blob of light streamed from ufr.Who eevr was standing there had as usual read my thoughts instantly and was showing off to me the way a person can be made to smile with help of that ray!

There i have established the link between rays and users of upper floor for this casing purpose thanks to that streak of boastfulness in my controller.
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What ever i have written and blogged is true as far as i am concerned .

1.I have been forced write on and on since 2012 June.About myself and my harrasers and had to abandon translation of slokas or blog snippets on Hinduism.

2.I found a link with my writings in diary yet to be published apart from from my blogs with articles in major newspapers and in the blogs and articles in the  net.as well as being to political use .All this i observed from 2011 onwards and had blogged then itself about this loot of my ideas without any compensation or recognition
3.stereofonic sounds were used to break me down it  a nervous wreck in 2012 and since then made to react unduly to matters in public realm or more precisely news making headlines in tv and in net and give my opinion like as if i some  sort of arbitrator acting out of public good..

4. Before 2014 i was persuaded to write my opinions on some aspects of foreign policy--again those making headlines in tv

5.After my brain was jammed  in 2014 june with kneading --kuadaichal rays for a month along with terrific stomach aches  i was persuaded to delete the blog on Dog on leash/dogs with license and few others and put several of them in draft and also write  that  i was out of my mind to have written all those and made to apologise to the political leaders , specially the leader in here for a comment i made in my diary which i never blogged .

6.I was systematically kept out of blogging and net for nearly a year with threat of family life ,honour constantly brandished by squeezing my head often when i tried to do my usual routines .This squeezing of brain that gave headaches was great detterent and made me stop doing whatever i was about to instantly  after that jamming of brain and fear of safety of close relatives  constantly put into me  but provocation to make me write continued and i was  writing my diary and i could find links with articles and political happenings though i was forbidden to read newpapers , mags ,books or watch tv by making me leak constantly of sticky fluids that  blotted out my memory and originality, if did so .since was tv was on with my hub seeing it i did hear some news and at those times i was tempted to read newspapers my attention was constantly directed to articles on rss and vhp's doings,subjects that hardly interested me earlier.

7. Ever since that jamming,dehydrating too much of religion ,sect and caste as seen by politicians for furtherance of  thier politics   has been infused into my thinking.Sects and  communities ,the hatred that is supposed to exist between them unlike my original interest  which was in Hindu philosophy, and ancient classical Indian writings and those on  hinduism .The diversion from my original interests started in 2011 and has reached its peak in 2015-2016 with me provoked to  constantly  chant the perifidies of other communities -neigh's as i did find the link to the obssession with my private parts  with non stop attacks on them which made me go for many surgeries and too much mental provocation to neighbours  of other communities and sect .

8.There is a saying a thief of long time will be caught one day .He or they were caught when i read about implants , rays and gadjets on net when my intelligence refused to believe that there could be any one in this world who can read another's thoughts instantly like some great rishi's  of past who are  also said to acquire such powers only after severe penances and meditations spanning hundreds of years and not just like that.The knocks on my ceiling loudly before 2014 and broad cast from temple since 2014 advising  on and on were like a instant reply to my thoughts.
i also refused to believe that i was secreting due to lust  but removed utreus not wanting to have it completely destroyed by rays  in attempt to tease it  to eject some liquid  and  thus give a tool to the harrasers to keep on blackmailing me  till then or allow it to end in  cancer .
They were also caught when i linked the flights to the systematic brain washing put in place i guess from 2012 onwards it could have been earlier .It was only in 2012 i observed the sudden burst of traffic in the inner lanes with beaming neighbours driving thier scooters as also unduly long traffic jams,All this is still going on .

9.The whole of 9 th may there was no landing of planes from early morning  till 2 pm when i was at home ,This is true.very unusual as i had observed landings on all days for 2 weeks till that day.

10 My blog was also blocked when i was blogging barricade  on 10 th May but was restored   soon . Blocking  was done quite often before 2014.

Today i was walking up in terrace wanting to test landings efect from there.Only the very huge ones gliding slowly and very near are given respect .others even a bit further away are not .I felt my arms start up in pain even as these planes  landing nearby
Since religion has been smeared into this ,i deliberately did japa briefly though it is not my usual time when a big went by .in the next one i started to feel that pain in my arm in synchronisation with a car going down .Heard a squirrel screech from next  flat like as if it to say that it  was  its handiwork. in this signal language squirrels i guess are intelligence people.But no pain , when a huge flight whose wordings on the fuselage  were also visible around 6 am, glided towards the airport .

Whom do these squirrels represent? i have heard their screeches and cawing of look out crows even in my recent visits to Bangalore .which is another state .Do signal givers travel along with me or are they found in other  states as well .
If squirrels are intelligence why are they in this conversion drama being played on and on?Isn't it  a blot on  Democracy?
Or is it two in one ?To keep off political rivals from getting my famous preceptions by starting questining by using the identity number which could be in silent repition and they know it   and at same time make me obssess with mino's   my who according to sour grapes or appeasers ,are  suddenly under seige with sky falling on thier heads  after change of govt in centre?
on second thoughts maybe all that needs to make me start thinking is some loud sound when i am in open space.Read yesterday that rfid works only indoors and maybe these people have found out after breaking my head with loud sounds it only require such sounds to make me think, this could be coupled with movement of people or vehicles or things or animals ,which can be read with jaw reader.

eg--yester i had gone up at 6/30pm to get some air and open space.  The usual couple with specs  watching street below, my neighs , on east side .i guessed that lady was being used as she kept turning her head  as i walked up and down with my keychain with sruinivasars image.The banned objects from my life since 2011if i dare carry them i will be punished with pain or made to leak.or feel like  scratching bodily parts that are hidden  from view  as they are meant to be.I bound the keychain my saree end and tucked into my waist like women of yore.Immediately the couples left .So this is the second time i foiled the attempts to corner me as a lustful creature /peodophile  or lesbian or that i would  melt and swim in my lustful secretions in the presence of persons of other communities.though hidden from view.Her specs was used in some way
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next, the other side pf terrace the boisterous neigh was walking.he ddin,t leave,There were take offs in the west side where he was . I started to hear the loud camapaigning of dmk from down below. it went on and on and i walked on and on ,At one point i started to think this and that and didn't notice the other neigh leave .kept on walking and thinking which is done by many people , only that my thinking is read and heard As i was walking with this racing mind felt a thick curtain roll over  .My thoughts were being blocked ,The loud campaign stopped abruptly ,with this blocking  .Saw some more take offs  amidst another distraction a woman talking loudly on her phone in next terrace and walking up and down aggresively.it was irritating guessed i was being deliberately provoked.Couldn't enjoy the open space or the stars .cooled off by going to other side.The intention . to keep me away from west side during take offs whih were quite low was obvious, .But i stuck on and surprised to see that she  left a few minutes before a huge plane.s  take off .Ah so huge take offs are also respected .
so two times i ll be let off this tight control is during these huge planes  gliding up or down ,very close .if i am near a window or in open space.Even in vast Marina beach i could feel my brain getting blocked by some external pressure.to change my direction .
Came down reception commitee .A smartha and a woman with cristian links.I could felt iritation rise these people know how to make me angry.just spread sect and religious community thick in all my interaction delibetrately in that silly pairing put into my head during september that muslims and vaishnavaites  are similar and get along whilst saivaites get along with christians who are similar to them--some secular buffs or  rather  some nut's perverted  concept of din i lahi and this is constanly being replayed adnauseum on me

If not for some gain from me why should i be subject to all this constantly? .So i stand by what i blog of the situations as i understand it.

Election campaign and links with planes.

The close landing  of  a huge plane at 8.30 came on time as expected today--11 th May.As i wanted to check it sarrival was sitting on a chair  in my bedroom under the fan and a bit close to the window since 8 and started to translate slokas on Rama , writing it down .As  left two leaves auto campaign came down the road  n-s , loudly andsort of triumphantly followed  a bit later by Thamarai--lotus  , with lesser sound. i wear reading glasses.

10 -15 was meditating in hall and missed the landings felt frustrated at not being able to penetrate my forehead  and go in .Abused all politicians for landing me in this state.Immediately got a call from a in- law  who is a real right.

10.40---Saw a medium to large landing meaning a plane that is not close or big or slow sitting on a floor of my bedroom close to the wall and door and near left widow.
5 to8 minutes earlier heard the songs of rising sun again from north and a bit away., but loud.Curbed my urge to read slokas as i waited for 10--40 big--means close   or huge plane --means very close to come  .So again meditated, relaxed  and felt good suspiciously too good .Then started to feel some sort of oozing sensation  in my left molars .Guessed that signals or ray was being sent , so covered my left jaw with the gold ring yet was receiving some question or suggestion .When i lowered my hands felt a sudden cramp in my right feet which was exposed .How? i must have deflected the rays or signals with my bangles and that hurt me.
Were the rays etc sent from outside or from immediate upper floor or down floor or from the street.felt it was from inside our flats A lot of cramps .they crossed down much after the plane was sighted

Next was waiting for 10 .50 huge very close landing .Sitting on floor just relaxing ,no writing no meditaion.
Heard campaign of Bumbaram from  the same north side .loud..
instead of landing there was a take off on eastern side that slanted and went north .Herad sound saw the plane.
came to window when the auto came near it after quite a lapse of time the sickle on a red flag was prominent.
So take offs in east turning northwards is reserved for reds?

Very near huge landings for leaves and lotus?

Medium to large landing for rising sun plus hand?

so distance of plane from me when it lands and takes off has been cleanly divided and demarcated  between all the parties and they can question or put a suggestion  and wait for it to sink and make me reply immediately, now a days that is for two years, after jamming and dehydrating it is non stop chatter inside me and a auto will leave screeching or fridge will give a victorious sound of defrost popping up when i think of talking to my hub or talk to him within me and i am always talking to myself quite non stop , unlike my thoughts less  and peaceful  mind , or write it down.
So a lot of people are substituting themselves in my husbands foot. or those who are adept in making me talk are substituting themselves and distributing the conversation, answers as per need .Upper floor resident is more or less always at home since 2014 if the pkd scooter is an indication that its owner is at home.the scooter is always pkd ,The boistreou neigh is also always at home unlike before .Simply put abducting his wife on and off the whole day and night.i hear screeches even at late at night .Now probably because of election code such screeches  of autos or horns have come down.

What do politicians want out of me ?Most important why me? second question first ==

why me?--1.i some how gather knowledge

                 2.Not blindly loyal to any politician or ideaology.  So observe and tell what i feel truthfully

                 3.At times my preceptions  even when said in a light manner comes true.people may call it forecasting
4.Maybe my family background and my  having moved  with people of all communities, caste and regions without suspicion or hatred

So what do politicians want of me specifically?.
guessing===
1.Leaves is helping  minos. The constant provocaton , nastying with minos held in front angers me making me breach my tolerance and make me keep on letting a tirade against them , keep on thinking about them ,chanting mino mino .The more i abuse upper floor it is good for minos as politicians tend to act in reverse to my tirades ,when in power .So leaves is facilitating lotus in governance.it may be used in foreign policy also at times .

2.Rising sun wants some social observation so as to nab its opponent.

3.sickle and hand also wants social insights or humane observations  to nab its opponent sickle wants my experiences on unyielding ethical practises  like on corruption ,refusing to bend rules even for friends as well as views  on some of them from me

4.Lotus  also wants my travelogues, translations,and my experiences and observations on hinduism and at times my conflicts--in writing , with neigh's of other communities .

In my original brought up and make up i was like the congress --not taking on the minorities but adjusting but unlike them will die a 100 deaths  if i took extra money or used power and also  like communists  --not too much into prayers, pujas,practises , babas,not much into money   but unlike them donot think that other religions are superior to mine nor be devoid of  burst of patriotic fervour of which  i am beset occassionally.

Most important of all i would never enter another person's house or mind forpersonal or political enhancement slyly and if i did i would die a 100 deaths if i didn't pay back monetarily for what was  skimmed
 and made use off .
i guess who ever was and  is skimming off, have  no such guilt  attacks .

As i was busy blogging  maybe  this at 4.30 or 5 pm  heard the campaign of mango .got up and saw the auto near temple blaring. started to blog and heard a take off .soon after.

ok what do they want from me?Though not personal experience but others views on  sc's faults?

There are grievences against them but i have none . Personally in case of  love marriage i would any day prefer a hindu sc over other religious communities.   .

visit to Sriperumbudur on the occasion of Sri Ramanujars 1000 jayanthi--birthday

Went off to the bus stand dropping my blogging [barricade half way] as hub decided to visit Sri perumbudur on the occasion of Sri Ramanujar,s 999 th birthday,which actually falls tomorrow viz 10 th May but pre poned it by a day to avoid crowds .Sri peumbudur is his place of birth.

Got a AC bus.A woman got in, the  plaster on her nose and her throat on left side caught my attention.She had no bindi .Was she of mino community?Was i being stalked in the bus ,?She shooed away a short puny man with tilak who was suspiciously hovering too close to me and stood on the gap  between  my and hub/s seat.All seats were taken by then so a lot of standees.Very smart in a sari but looked weary.She then started speaking in hindi to her father.                                                                                                                                                       Oh i got it ,since 2014 i have been adopted by a powerful father and a powerful mother and people indicate as to who they represent .Being bindi less didn't mean that she was not a hindu as people up north even in my college days never put it on thier forhead till they got married unlike in south where girls have to wear bindi from infancy.Not only girls but also boys and men  who decorate their foreheads with vibuthi, chandan, kumkum,sreechurnam , black camphor and, thirumun.Nearly most  boys and men sport a tiny length of vibuthee on thier forheads .

In early 2015 when i was off the blog on our return from the first annual ceremony of my b.i.l in the city the young auto driver started lamenting loudly that whilst his mother repaired and set a old punctured tyre of his auto right and it was still running a friend cum lessor who had taken his other auto to repair and set it right had dropped it midway and had absconded and that friend only had to request his mother to repair it and she would have done it gladly.He had a picture of Jesus on his auto and said that he often visited a famous Amman temple in the suburbs.Religious theme in to my life was started to be spread pretty thick  since my b.i.l's demise in 2014                                                                                                                                     .earlier on  a sudden discussion regarding the date of Rama rose between me and my neice at laws.when the ceremony got over .They insisted that it was 7 lakh years as per tradition and i said it could be a exaggeration and at the most he would have lived 10.000years back.when i told them that one has to follow the worlds findings regarding date of human civilisation and  this is dated at 10000 years .since i believe Rama lived and walked around this land and ruled it i have to give him the  date which i can believe and my training and readings  in History about the date of  human civilisation which is generally agreed upon by various scholars across this world. This offended them and a lot of arguments flowed though both of us agreed that he was a living person but differed on dates.They felt i was questioning  hindu traditions ,epics, and hindu concept of time and i felt that they were not applying thier mind and were unduly  suspicious and blind to findings ofWestern scientists regarding the date of dawn of civilisation in this planet.
Maybe this conversation was heard as i am a forcibile  public property  since long and not liked by those who wanted to tune me .A hindu who believes in 7 lakh years as date of Rama can be easily tackled as foolishly traditional and be made fun off and brush of Rama as a figment of imagination but can that be done to a hindu like me who is convinced western dating is right and therefore very  convinced that Rama's date can be established without feeling either  appolegetic about it the way liberal practising hindus  would or fume and froth the way traditionalists would..
i have observed that it is the liberal practising hindus' , who are in awe of  certain aspects of other religions and find our religion wanting . i have never felt  Hinduism  wanting in any manner and was never in awe of any other religion.

ok back to the bus .As we neared Porur a landing in the airport  was clearly visible from across the open space which has radars and radio station of the airport .Though houses have come up all over , this place is still left free the way i remember it  when i lived here.Was that hindi speaking woman deliberately blockin g me and my hub?She got off few stops later.The board of the stop caught my eyes --Central reserve police.
Felt a sudden sinking .Was she one?Aern't they used in  tackling rioteers and naxals?.Was i being shielded from naxals?
Then another woman a lively one started to speak to her mother and stood near me.And the spectacled youth behind me shifted his seat in the corner and sat  behind me .He too spoke to his mother!
earlier in turning on the main roads in the city i would get ahead ache in left side [maybe that specs boy gave it]and as i turned automatically towards window i saw a police man glaring at me .This happened thrice.

I glanced around others in the bus.Looked wistfully at faces of midle aged women with their cares written al lover it.Would i ever get back those golden days?When my cares were my own, my joys , my thoughts , my emotions were my ownal minejust like those of other womenWonderful private life.who made me trade it off so forcibily?Even if i have powerful persons reading my writings for preceptionsor ideas will that eevr equal the liofe of a non entity, leading a life of ordinary cares , not thinking beyond family and relatives and at times neighbours and nothing extraordinary?Extraordinery like unravelling this co-ordination of flights, implants rfid and so on .Yes i was pushed in a corner and i am intelligent enough to  unravel it yet my dumb comon place life before all this was what was truly satiating.An ordinary normal life where one is the queen of one's house how much ever small it may be .Even a beggar woman living on a pavement leading a  life in full public glare  has the luxury of privacy of thoughts which i don't  .
Her thought could be about next meal and mine  considered high like on  philosophy or sceintific intelligence like finding out about the trap thrown over me but where is the privacy of those thoughts , leaving that alone i don't even have the privacy to think longingly of my next meal or snack which she has !

The temple was very crowded Villagers lay in exhausted heaps in all the vacant spaces in this temple which is dedicated to kesava perumal and thayar [consort] and has a separate sannidhi for Sri Ramanujar.As i waited for gates to open a spectacled midle aged middle class man came in angle and i felt a sting  Either it was he or was being used.Controlled  my rising temper and thought even here?Don't these people have any shame ?
Started chanting Narayana loudly.As i stood before Ramanujars moorthy i hoped to gather a glimmer of his strength to overcome the hurdles to chanting the mantras he had proclaimed to all .

The perumal sannidhi was closed Thayaars was open .indicating perumal--father's disapproval.

in the outer perumbulation with walls full of paintings and stone floor of the passag e filled with villagers sleeping off thier exertion in pulling the rath earlier in the day i  saw and heard a old man sitting amongst his sleeping frineds , singing about Ramanujar and Alanvandar in simple Tamil .it was neither the 4000divya prabandhams or slokas but  could be a family or folk song handed down through generations .He was singing with full devotion  and it moved me , instantly wiping away the insult to Sri Ramanujar by stinging me in the parts that are the special targets of my harrasers, in his temple.

I also realised the respect and reverence  these Vaishnavaite acharaya command since ages  amongst ordinary folks. and i had been thinking that only people like me who have descended from family of  scholars and belonging to brahmin caste have such reverence and knowledge.Lost my supercilliouness very  happily as vaishnavaites are very few to come by .Felt a kinship with all those simple villagers .
thought would iconic leaders  of present day be remembered thus by a villager 1000years later?History  books are full of accounts of heroic kings like asoka ., chandra gupta  or raja raja chola but does any one remember them with such affection and devotion?

My chappal had gone missing  like it did in my visit to Srirangam temple in 2015.Punishment?Hubs was safe and secure,
Walked barefoot on pebble strewn street to a mantap where ramanujars utsavar was placed .Then took a auto and bought a slippers.waited near a shop as hub went to atm a  glum youth literrally chased me away  to next shop by sweeping and dumping garbage near me .As we stood on opposite side for bus a mosque behind the shop  i was chased away. Why?Maybe fear of some one nastying those entering for prayer by nastying me and linking the two.
Bus never came .went to high way .Saw plane take off .now i am always watching planes Took few snaps and soon heard that chup chup-sound of reverse backing of car -yet to unravel this .But i do remember that in 2014 september  after days of dehydration i had gone up to get away from the confines of the house that had become morbidly sticky,As i sat facing east gazing at the sky the 3rd floor neigh --woman brah came and started to walk in 8 formation  vigourously i ignored her and was in my trance.she even bumped against me .and then stopped to hear something it was that chup chup sound  .She left as it got over.when i got up to leave felt a  pain in my throat like as if it was slit.

Got a ordinary bus.It got stuck in traffic near Ramachandra hospital vehicles on opposite side were moving.So many! Where was the money for all this?i remember all this area as sleepy little towns and villages with saccely any tarffic on the roads in -1990'.Now there are flats and flats, big brand shops, restaurants , gyms and road brimming with cars and other vehicles',So there is money to be made for the industrious and those focused on making it and goods available to buy and use

It was hot and humid and no breeze.Mind went back to the temple and the devotees.and upcoming elections .I am sure they will all vote so would every person from lower strata.What are they voting so enthusiatically I don't buy papers observation that it is due to high sounding words like democracy is  at play and so on .They are voting becuase they want and expect some benifits from persons they are voting for Since they are getting it like cheap food grains  or pension  or some such upliftment they are voting. so sincerely .  Why was i not all that intereseted[ before this brush with politicians that has simply made me lose all my trust] in voting .My basic needs are taken care of unless i am  delivered of those  promises like clean good roads , also low prices, easy housing,etc upto my level what is the point of voting?Roads corner will be dirty , pavements ,roads encroached -it is always right of lower and poorer classes  over our rights  .Nothing will change.So what is the use of voting?
When i said this to my dozing hub he got wild and and remonstrated that whether one  gets anything in return or not  we  have been given a democratic right which one must exercise even be it nota.
Then thought of my problem =fascination of politicians with my views etc.Few weeks back in adiscussion with hub im predicted that dmk will win all urban seat here and in cuddalore due to floods.hub didnt agree .he siad aidmk will sweep. i was firm but after few days amended it to if not whole of chennai thye will get this seat and few others. hub firm on sweep.and when toi also published survey i was happy .if my prediction falls flat so would this crack pot chases, questioning i am subject to  ,So hope amma really sweeps and doesnt concede even one seat thus denting my image of a seer ,which has become a dead weight around my neck.At least i will get one step nearer to my freedom.

As i sat on in that cramped seat fanning myself with a paper saw a man stare at me from reflection of the mirror  near the windshield .deliberate.I stared back .no use he kept on staring.The wait was prolonging on and on .Was it due to me?i changed position sitting slanting on the seat to air my back .immediatyely traffic gave way and we were moving .We were going South east wards and i guess my left side of face was facing east and right  north west .it was easy movt henceforward . A gas truck  with blue cylinders that kept keeping pace [we were seated in row behind driver] fell back

Came to that open radar space .Saw a plane take off.Was i being co-ordinated and in a tug of war ?did that shift in my seat change something? what ever i started to feel the scrathches near heart .Now on it was bullets that were keeping pace .sudenly realised that i had kept my bag on my lap nera left .changed it to right and scrathces stopped .Was too tired to get angry at people who are using religion to make me scratch all over postponing my anger .
At stop ddint get auto so walked through the tunnel like road due to metro work and wasnearly blown off by vehicle whizzing.some how walked that length and got back home.

The mentally handicapped boy was sitting in the temple.My reception committee earlier the young advocate of my flat received us at the turning by turning his scooter  .


written on 9.5.16

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