obssesion with my behind and hiding and shooting from behind it
Evening i went up to the terrace to take videos and photos of take offs of planes so as to provide proof of what i have discovered and am blogging about viz role of flights and deliberate use of sounds to get mastery over my emotions and thoughts by persons who have designed this macabre controlling of a persons pshyche and to put it to selfish use.
There were plenty of take offs .some near some far ,some right overhead my flat or next block.i guess that my camera was deliberately jammed a lot of times as i couldn't catch the images properly.This jamming could also have been done when i was picturing landings in my camera.hence the images are dull and sketchy.
Neverthless i stuck to my mission taking as many videos as possible .before certain flights viz around 6.15.and 6.25 pm neighbours came up to my terrace as well on the next block and flat to do the auditory masking. Talking in high pitched voice and low voice respectively.and left soon afterIt was still light.
darkness fell and as i walked up and down i started thinking about my situation .a crickets unusually loud chirping was heard the trigger i observed earlier viz last month,is to kindle my memory and thoughts and analysis.
It suddenly kindled my memory , the memory of how i have been systematically abused and provoked since 2012 to write on and on and how several of my writings were flicked by media and politicians brutally.without a glimmer of conscience for doing so .
So this is how i was and am being made to write and blog.incessantly. Flights, their sound, distance positions .slanting position with corresponding sounds [auditory masking] of vehicles, people, animals insects and so on.
I had realised this harsh exploitation of my writings and writing skills in 2012 itself and had linked it to provocative noises and sudden hostility and disrespect shown by neighbours ,friends and relatives around me but had no idea that it was wrung out of me in such a well planned manner . It often perplexed me that one hand high ups were liberrally dipping into my diary writings for my ideas and on other this open hostility and indiffernce where ever i went or met people to seek explanation
.
But i was freely writing and blogging about my bitterness at being so cruelly exploited by all and sundry from top to bottom after finding out links in public affairs and high ups since 2012.I guess even this natural anger at being exploited mericilesly coupled with disrepect and humiliation where ever i went was show cased as aggression on my part and this itself became an excuse to go about this control, primarily for exploitation merrily .
In 2014 with jamming or actual shock punishments meted to me in June and later exhausting me physically and mentally by squeezing out fluids out of me in september and constant headaches and filling my mind weakened by such onslaughts with confusion and terror that my mind became clamped with fear.Sop much fear that i didn't even dare to write my diary frankly.and ofcourse was too scared even to acces the net. leave alone blogging about my plight.
I was only when i decided to face whatever consequences when i start leading my life as before 2012 that i slowly got back some of my nerve and saw that by doing so i had called off some of the unnatural lifestyle and its related alien thinking .Ofcourse there is still no let up in trying to keep me cornered in a den of abnormalities , but at least i have given myself the freedom to use knowledge to unravel the web thrown over me.and the assurance that life around me is as normal as ever and not filled with terror and lawlessness.and diktats unfamiliar to a ordinary person..
These fellows really had a good time terrifying me and creating a taliban land in my flat and where ever i go , in heart of Chennai!
What is the demand behind my writings? Is it for speeches from very high ups to set the acceptable tone?Is it for ideas?
If i hadn't been constantly squeezed in this well planned manner and if my blogs [ never would i tolerate any one reading my personal diary and putting it to use] written on my own accord and free will , unlike this un familiar journalistic secular/analytical hash used by vvips i would have been quite thrilled and would have considered it to be a honour .But this deliberate tailoring of my emotions in a well planned manner to suit need s is utterly despicable
This stupid conversion drama of late .that is since 2014 is to needle me on communal/secular topics so as to give fodder on one hand and try and wrest concessions on the other, from higher ups.,
I stopped walking and sat down .It then dawned upon me that when i was thus reviving my memory and clearing the fog frankly without any fear or inhibition there wasn't a single flight. The flights were jamming my thinking .In that gap i ought to have been my original self viz enjoying the silent night sky with a feeling of tranquility.My mind had cleared but i was thinking .It was due to the screeching of the cricket .A plane came in sight --a take off towards east, after this 10 minutes gap and as i watched and tried to film it could feel my anger rise at being so brutally exploited by vip,s or for their sake.
Political leadership changes but govenmental machinery runs as usual so is the case in my exploitation .The difference being that it is more hastier and non stop now.Another difference is that the current leadership came down heavily on my writings wrung out by such methods being used in influencing in foreign affairs a 'la malala' and i am guessing that foreign intrusions into my house so as to read my diary is also kept at bay.Intentions Laudable and i do appreciate this but not the brutal and perverse method employed to achieve it and my appreciation would increase 100 fold if similar firmness was also shown if my personal diary and other writings and activities were also not put up for public gaze and used for other purposes without my express written permission and all these shameful activities that involves constant teasing of my body and mind so as to provoke me in this burdensome activity of writing about myself on and on is also put to a full stop. .All these puppeteers are hiding behind my behind literraly, since it is the base of my spine and lower down which is the butt of thier concentration Whether i am in my house or walking on the streets or shopping or attending some function or visiting a temple.
The rare times when i donot get carried away or suddenly come out of manufactured confusions and start spilling the beans about the inhuman and cunning exploitation i am subject to, then my heart and abdomen is targetted to cause pain and discomfort.Now my heart is paining.
Written on 30.5.16 8pm
There were plenty of take offs .some near some far ,some right overhead my flat or next block.i guess that my camera was deliberately jammed a lot of times as i couldn't catch the images properly.This jamming could also have been done when i was picturing landings in my camera.hence the images are dull and sketchy.
Neverthless i stuck to my mission taking as many videos as possible .before certain flights viz around 6.15.and 6.25 pm neighbours came up to my terrace as well on the next block and flat to do the auditory masking. Talking in high pitched voice and low voice respectively.and left soon afterIt was still light.
darkness fell and as i walked up and down i started thinking about my situation .a crickets unusually loud chirping was heard the trigger i observed earlier viz last month,is to kindle my memory and thoughts and analysis.
It suddenly kindled my memory , the memory of how i have been systematically abused and provoked since 2012 to write on and on and how several of my writings were flicked by media and politicians brutally.without a glimmer of conscience for doing so .
So this is how i was and am being made to write and blog.incessantly. Flights, their sound, distance positions .slanting position with corresponding sounds [auditory masking] of vehicles, people, animals insects and so on.
I had realised this harsh exploitation of my writings and writing skills in 2012 itself and had linked it to provocative noises and sudden hostility and disrespect shown by neighbours ,friends and relatives around me but had no idea that it was wrung out of me in such a well planned manner . It often perplexed me that one hand high ups were liberrally dipping into my diary writings for my ideas and on other this open hostility and indiffernce where ever i went or met people to seek explanation
.
But i was freely writing and blogging about my bitterness at being so cruelly exploited by all and sundry from top to bottom after finding out links in public affairs and high ups since 2012.I guess even this natural anger at being exploited mericilesly coupled with disrepect and humiliation where ever i went was show cased as aggression on my part and this itself became an excuse to go about this control, primarily for exploitation merrily .
In 2014 with jamming or actual shock punishments meted to me in June and later exhausting me physically and mentally by squeezing out fluids out of me in september and constant headaches and filling my mind weakened by such onslaughts with confusion and terror that my mind became clamped with fear.Sop much fear that i didn't even dare to write my diary frankly.and ofcourse was too scared even to acces the net. leave alone blogging about my plight.
I was only when i decided to face whatever consequences when i start leading my life as before 2012 that i slowly got back some of my nerve and saw that by doing so i had called off some of the unnatural lifestyle and its related alien thinking .Ofcourse there is still no let up in trying to keep me cornered in a den of abnormalities , but at least i have given myself the freedom to use knowledge to unravel the web thrown over me.and the assurance that life around me is as normal as ever and not filled with terror and lawlessness.and diktats unfamiliar to a ordinary person..
These fellows really had a good time terrifying me and creating a taliban land in my flat and where ever i go , in heart of Chennai!
What is the demand behind my writings? Is it for speeches from very high ups to set the acceptable tone?Is it for ideas?
If i hadn't been constantly squeezed in this well planned manner and if my blogs [ never would i tolerate any one reading my personal diary and putting it to use] written on my own accord and free will , unlike this un familiar journalistic secular/analytical hash used by vvips i would have been quite thrilled and would have considered it to be a honour .But this deliberate tailoring of my emotions in a well planned manner to suit need s is utterly despicable
This stupid conversion drama of late .that is since 2014 is to needle me on communal/secular topics so as to give fodder on one hand and try and wrest concessions on the other, from higher ups.,
I stopped walking and sat down .It then dawned upon me that when i was thus reviving my memory and clearing the fog frankly without any fear or inhibition there wasn't a single flight. The flights were jamming my thinking .In that gap i ought to have been my original self viz enjoying the silent night sky with a feeling of tranquility.My mind had cleared but i was thinking .It was due to the screeching of the cricket .A plane came in sight --a take off towards east, after this 10 minutes gap and as i watched and tried to film it could feel my anger rise at being so brutally exploited by vip,s or for their sake.
Political leadership changes but govenmental machinery runs as usual so is the case in my exploitation .The difference being that it is more hastier and non stop now.Another difference is that the current leadership came down heavily on my writings wrung out by such methods being used in influencing in foreign affairs a 'la malala' and i am guessing that foreign intrusions into my house so as to read my diary is also kept at bay.Intentions Laudable and i do appreciate this but not the brutal and perverse method employed to achieve it and my appreciation would increase 100 fold if similar firmness was also shown if my personal diary and other writings and activities were also not put up for public gaze and used for other purposes without my express written permission and all these shameful activities that involves constant teasing of my body and mind so as to provoke me in this burdensome activity of writing about myself on and on is also put to a full stop. .All these puppeteers are hiding behind my behind literraly, since it is the base of my spine and lower down which is the butt of thier concentration Whether i am in my house or walking on the streets or shopping or attending some function or visiting a temple.
The rare times when i donot get carried away or suddenly come out of manufactured confusions and start spilling the beans about the inhuman and cunning exploitation i am subject to, then my heart and abdomen is targetted to cause pain and discomfort.Now my heart is paining.
Written on 30.5.16 8pm
posted by K.C. Sujata at
9:42 PM
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