Musings on New year's day.--1.1.16--FrIday

My diary notings on 23 rd of December 2014 is the real crux and not 25 th .Was i made to write the long diary of 25 th and on peoples com so that i may tire out and not blog the diary notings ?

A brief summary of that  days happenings --Visited a relatives house for a function and on way back saw a plane flying and immediately said my personal deities mantra in the auto which we were travelling back.
evening was reading a magazine, daringly wearing my reading glassess  .[specs which are banned for me] when i read an article on social work and my abdomen  on my left started to pain all of a sudden ,sharp stinging pain.saw that the article had a photo of a muslim social worker.i hardly glanced at the photo but the pain made me do so,oh so i was being punished for my japa?Taking the charade of conversion and sectarianism on and on?.ok do so i ll take the pain ,Have already weathered brutal pain after my uterus operation.remember that the room i was in the hospital  overlooked a busy road with cars and motorbikes whizzing by day and night. was i allotted that room deliberately to exaceberate my pain ?The nurses  and doc were  quite puzzled at my severe pain .
who can punish in a state?is it its job to oversee conversion and sect change and punish for straying?doesn't it have better jobs to do than to be so mindful of my viz an individuals, religious belief's and sect?

went up to terrace at 5.30pm  with a note book and watch and noted down the flights seen from there .till 7.45 pm ,7 to 7 .45 pm a lot off flights some on east and some on my flat's western side ,near and above my kitchen The time i use to work in the kitchen after glancing through articles in the net to catch up on the latest and finish the ones i read in mornings.It was at this evening time that ufr used to make his presence felt quite loudly from 2012 July on wards and few months after Ge.why?To hold my attention in that mega gap and recreate my  earlier years at porur and supplanting himself , after implanting some thing in my teeth and blanking mu mind out by sound blasting Crazy set up .Dirty fellow.i guess that he was holding my attention even in morn times when i was browsing net  in kids bedroom  which is in east direction whilst my hub did his puja in the other room .lots of flights this time to from 7am to 12 noon.

Whilst i was wailking cum noting the timings a thin girl daughter of  a neigh in next block kept walking  up and down  viz east to west .wondered as to why? she was so thin she didnt need this exercise.guess she was used to make mo go dizzy.there must be cameras in terrace as well.

At 7 45 felt an urge to visit toilet urgently to pass urine when on western side, .So came down hurriedly and crossed ufr on the stairs .Felt light headed and dizzy and nearly passed out.I hoped never to see or meet him after realising the dirty tricks he had played on us all these years and my hub had asked me to ignore him completely. as he dislikes him probably  instinctively grasping the control he was exercising over us.I also determined to do so but he catches me when i am not prepared .He did namaste ,bowing down in  a caricature  manner I said Rama ,Rama /ramram ji ki and came down

His namaste means mega trouble for me .Another casers boisterous couple left the flats making a lot of noise as i entered.
This ufr person doesn't have the guts to meet me without first preparing the ground .earlier my specs now leaks to make me nervous and distracted .He has made gigolos and comfort girls out of my once decent neigh's,Casers and exploiters abound in my flat.
.
Am sure that there is big money behind making me write diary.Nobody is doing it for free.All those cars,autos,neigh s,drivers ,peons etc cheap labour for high returns.Mine can be called diary scam Only god knows as to how much money was made out of my forcible writing for past few years.

Now back to first of January.

10.20am--Was thinking as i stood on my balcony , i ll be free of evesdroppers if some one broke my tooth.Then remembered how i was made to fall at front of Srinivasar  on the road ,near a police booth ,chipping my right front teeth .
Maybe there are two sets of people listening to my internal chatter.and each would like to knock of the other.And what have they for password ,my favorite deities names.! Those who shout from roof tops about secularism and religious freedom have denied me both.Wasn't being anti hindu  or trifling with sentiments the flavour all these years.That was the in thing to do,specially to people who blogged on corruption and religion in same breath.   Even a criminal in a jail will have this freedom to pray to his or her deity in full privacy of his  or her thoughts .

I thought of ufr and lfr,.remembering the floods that showed the true nature of all.Ufr and family aern't much respected .the way they were made to wait in waist deep water  for a along time   for the boat when they could have easily walked.And that policeman laughing at the comic way of ufr clambering to the boat  is quite understandable.How can men who face danger directly and also go to court to pursue cases, respect men who hide and use fancy gadgets to correct waywards?.
A slum woman started exhibiting her swimming abilities in  a jeering manner, enjoying her strokes ,  when lfr and family waded out carefully in waist deep water.

Hope my writings which are specific only to me, doesn't put undue pressurre  or even sting any one in power.

Looked at the open space and the tenements around it and wondered ,what do these people think of me?Do they dislike me?Do they like my hub?

I don't think that they hate me or dislike me nor are they disrespectful  to me ,unless ordered to be so.They seem to be enduring me and all the crazy activities around me  in a tolerant humorous manner.Some elders seem to feel sorry.

Are they aware of the benifits i brought from centre in 2 major episodes?Do they have at least a bit of gratitude to me for doing so?just then saw a a tall youth in t shirt walking down the ground.For a second he looked just like Vidat!It was like a shaft into my herat .
It wasnt me who brought whatever i would have,it was Vidat , the blog he created for me ,so the credit goes to him and they are all aware of this fact ,so why would they give credit to me?

On 3.1.16 wrote an  recap  going back to decade back,Wondering if there was a mystery in Vidat's death  as i remember the pressure cooker going on and off  irritatingly at several times in morning from down below specially at 10am ,the puja time of hub ,even when Vidat was around .Were we being alerted even then itself?Was my hub's rightist views the target then itself? Were the docs deliberately negligent?Was his son done away with to nasty him and and then do no touch torture on me also for the same as well as for my blogging?Was i striking back at the the guilty through my blogs created by my son without actually knowing that i was doing so and that my persistence may have created a name for myself?

Then wondered what if some hindus adapted the sly technique of ufr to teach those whom they don't like a lesson in similar manner?torture women&,nasty the men in middle class neighbourhoods and get way without any proof?
Also examined the leftists and rationalists angle in my life since blogging.were they using me in converse to settle scores with rightists?So international audiences with similar typical reverse mind would see it exactly the way the leftists wanted it to be?
Then i listed the not so good deeds of all politicians.
That very night had a terrific pain in my throat,next day on started to feel nauseous after taking tablets for viral infection  and the very next day started feeling pain in abdomen which disabled me for a day or two .i observed that this pain rather painful bowel movment came and went along with motor bikes taking a round just before planes took a arc.
Was being punished.