Thursday, December 17, 2015

Observations on my situation--17.12.15

The painful root canal operation in 2011 followed by two even more painful procedures conducted on me soon  after the General elections of 2014 on me viz stinging attacks on my brain  all night long and body for a month when i refused to write made me very easily receptible to suggestions .That was the period i put a lot of blogs on redraft .This was followed by making me discharge [very unnatural for my age] copious fluids from down below which litterally made me jelly like a placsticine  clay to be moulded at will ,memory of my past years of life wiped as also my indentity and my confidence totally wrecked.That month was the period of conversion.to follow either bismillah or param pita or siva or face deaths in family.
viewers may think i am spinning a fantastic tale.why should I?it really happened and is still happening.

After that jamming and liquidifying rigours [funny i am still alive to relate this torture.either i am tough or i was let off before going the full hog that to after enduring unbearable pains after my uterus surgery  and cataract surgeries which i guess was sadistically enhanced by using one or other form of control over me] my thoughts seem to be skimmed off my forehead .[oh yes i remember now my head  had become a tight and facial skin a mask after jamming ]and read by all and sundry, the very instant!I start debating within myself on news topics or think in a reaction  to various stimullai like cranking sound of pump,loud and agitated talkingof those around me, knocking sound of cylinders thrown down from truck always stationed nearby ,noises which have started to jar me since 2011and even more after 2014.
I do remember that this noise stimulai was used on me to write and when i decided to quit writing after ge as i felt i was being exploited for others to make money or power and was writing on issues i am hardly interested in. i guess that jamming was done so that without my writing my views could be directly skimmed of my forhead!will such greedy guys proper?will go down the drain one day or the other.for sure.

I see a lot of Russian viewers in my audience.I have read of horror tales of the govts there in earlier decades exercising totalitarian control over its subjects thoughts.May be they can understand  as to what is being done to me and my family more than i as in here viz india i have never read about such a vicious and total grip on a person's thoughts and this unnatural cutting off, family ties and dishonouring scared customs and free ingress into one's private property and space.
At least in those days Russia didnt claim to be democratic country but india always did and as i find my beraings it shocks me that brain washing tactics are being used upon us so  freel;y and without any qualms and if th eworld reads this what aterrible pi cture this state of tamil nadu  a part of india  is going to present.Ruthless muzzling with communist country's tacticson those criticising political leaders or comenting on nature of rule ,or on corruption and for not toeing the leftists unbalanced and provocative conception of secularism in which only mino's sensitivities are important.
May be i am the only known brain washed victim in my state and country as no such news has ever been reported in main stream media or  and now in the new media viz social media as well!

Any way i can blog it am being allowed to blog!Amazing! didn't encounter any of those sudden shutting down of comp or deleting it and make me blog it again and again  a charectristic censoring before ge i was so used to ,hence the exclamation .
The floods taught me how property and cherished memories of a life time in photos,knicknacks,andwritings can be lost in a triceand can never be retrieved.This finality was like the finality of death and that gave me the courage to blog my pitiable situation .
i was expected to blog on floods maybe for asistance or bring powerful peoples attention to the floods. the long time neigh whose son studied in Russia -[-i am guessing these pshyco brain washing tactics.]
were creating quite a scene and i started to write my daily diary.This family was in forefront before ge in extracting writings from me.They know the tactics .
may be i have helped a lot of people who have lost everything by relating honestly my situation which wasn't all that bad as that boisterous family  and a grown son who acted like as if he was in panic and that we would all drown for sure ,was making it to be.
But it is not giving me any high as it was forced out of me in a artificially induced situation,current must be there for cameras to function isnt it  +grossly invading my property,privacy and mental peace?i am never going to be feted  openly or even simply acknowledged for what ever benifit may have accrued to people of tamilnadu  becuase of my diary writing .My harrassment is still going on unabated as usual .
Simply put i am being forced to act the good samaritan in times of some crisis or the other..It is giving me more pain than any gain.Let those bearing the cross do it why should i do it?Iam not in the least willing to do so.
Had some benifit accrued to people in distress because of me in a straight forward manner on my own volition, without any shadowy controls,i would have been proud of myself and be suffused with satisfaction of helping those in need  wouldn't be sounding so bitter.and short changed.

My memory is coming in bits and pieces.Am i allowed to blog because parliament is in session  and nobody dare trifle with democratic rights when it is in procedings.Great! My grand father'sefforts have not gone in vain .Any how my freedom may last only till the last date of this session then i am sure there will be a clamp down and more harrassments lined up for me.
ok back to what happened to me .In august 2014 it was put in my mind that my magalyam which i had worn since marriage and never discarded was being used to make me leak etc and it is good for me if i discarded it .i was so perplexed at the sudden secretion that i believed it and took it off and wore a thred soaked in turmeric with a turmeric tied at its end..it was after that the mega secretion project was launched and now i guess the sacred evidence of our marriage of 34 years was removed to facilitate this wierd sort of conversion.It was taken to such an extent that when i wore a gold chain embossed with lakshmi's fiure on all the coins making the chain my neck was made to feel like as if it was being slit.this happened in my house also when i wore it with warning taps from above floor ,that as a person who is being or deemed converted to islamic faith with no proper procedure followed or with my acquisence shouldnt wera such god fugurines.This charade went on till i underwent surgeries to remove any such filthy blackmail and strengthened myself physically and mentally and wore it back .whoever did this it is a black chapter in their life.and history.
Horrors of horrors i was made to secrete untimely fluids in percinits of sacred and holy temples and it was applauded by young hindus ,men with backpacks
even now the puja bell from down below is sounded whenever my hub is in midst of morning prayers and i feel heaviness in my legs or he gets the urge to visit toilet .Earlier it was rung quite often when i wasn't wearing the mangalsutra.and often felt leaky .it was rung at the precise time or few seconds after the leak like as if to announce to all the world this auspicious event of a woman coming of age!Now it is rung to commomertae hubs youthful ejections i guess in the mornings during or after the puja till noon
He too went for several tooth implants  before and after ge .more after ge.this is how we are being nastied without any let up.
The puja bell ringer would deliberately feed crow on the walls of parking lot of ufr at front of my eyes as if to say i or we both are under this muslim or someother muslims influence and control.He is warning or informing us indirectly but no one is bothered to come and explain straight away as to what is happening around us since no one is doing it i assume all this is to nasty me as i continue to write my diary which i do just for myself .Is it my fault that every tom dick and harry is given free access to it and my house and then blame and nasty me for doing what i have been doing since 12 years old --viz writing diary

The victim who is exploited cruelly and then be blamed for such exploits.!Any rational human would  see my point of view.
 i have been  consistently asking theauthorities to clean my house of bugs,caneras etc but it was never acted upon.but allowed people to invade every inch of my privacy,provoke me for reactions and then when i write it punish me if it is not to their taste.this has been going for past 4-5 years the difference after ge my blogging wsa very firmly clamped down but not my diary writing which i guess is for select few to read at will without a glimmer of guilt that it is being read without my or my hubs permission  and maybe even acted upon as a vendor conveys its effects on political class,


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