A brief summary of what happened to me since june 2014---fromjuly 2015 diary

Emotional blackmail coupled with physically weakening me with slaked food items and excessive use of gadgets on my brain led to my forgoing my silent repetition of Narayana mantra ,and writing two columns of Sriramajeyam [my daily simple meditation and ritual]and also led to me discarding my mangal sutra  as it was put into my head that if chanted such names my family members would pop off one by one and it so happened that at both the times i was doing my japa at 11.30 am received a call within minutes of the passing away of my ailing brother in law in the first instance in June and next in August of my brother .I was also made to discard my mangal sutra in august with the same threat that if i continued wearing it then next on the list would be my husband who has a weak heart as the gold pedants glitter will attract nastiness to be perpetrated on me from all and sundry with gadgets and that it had a gps to keep me in track.

So much revulsion was created in me that i took it off so that its sacredness will not be further abused and bided my time ,nearly 10 months hence after three surgeries and strengthening myself from any such further attack on its sacredness and wore it back in May this year .
September 2014 was a month of constant gadgetry attack which was preceded by constant microwave or radio signals attack on my brain the whole of June ,earlier .The nonstop attacks made my skin in forehead shrivel and felt a gap between my brain and inner self .
in september i lost a lot of fluid  the whole month and weight and whenever i relaxed in armchair or directly under fan or light heard once a terrifying voice saying bismillah and then followed by suggestions that i i start worshiping param pita to escape my present predicament This param pita stuff went on and on with a us visit and settling there dangled before me .When i thought nothing doing i d rather die than change my religion   it stopped and next attempt was to change my sect to Amman  worship--mother goddess or shakthi and escape my troubles.Meanwhile i was advised by a party manager to stop blogging and i did after i was made to put a lot of my posts on redraft from june on wards. i also didn't wear specs fearing that it would be used to nasty me,and went around with very low vision.for nearly 8 months and then finally decided to take the plunge to do away with specs that had become an instrument of control by strangers , by undergoing cataract operation though they were not fully ripe .

Viewers reading this would find it laughable as i would  .Without following the proper procedure for conversions as laid in those religions how can one be thus be converted ?Did the lower illiterate segments or those fanatic in their beliefs actually consider such blowing of their respective gods names in my ears when i am in a subconscious state think it is conversion?
Analysing this sudden concentrated attacks on me i concluded that it could only be due to my blog posts .
Did conversion work ?I scaled down my prayer and reading religious articles but my core beliefs remain the same viz Hindu philosophy specially in karma , belief in my kula deity  and my  feeling that bharat is punya  bhumi --sacred land sanctified by avatars and sages of yore  remains as well as some sentiments .
The Hinduism in me is since my childhood so it was too deep to be deterred by fear of death to me though the threat to my family and friends made me scale my japa as well as my activity on the net which i guess was what was primarily aimed at .
The attempt to humiliate an ancient and sacred custom which i have been following for last 34 years  also failed as i vowed to wear it  and also escape further emotional  and physical black mail after putting parts of my body to surgeons scalpel ,parts that were having age related problems in early stages,but hastened my decision as they were  targeted with gadgets, slaked food and specs to nasty and embarrass me ,my eyes and uterus. Recovery was slow and very painful  and i suspect i wasn't spared of gadgetry uses even in such a state.Brutality has to be experienced to know what it is .and i had my fill .

The privacy of my house ,the privacy of my thoughts which is easily skimmed off my forehead after that month long brain attack with waves from all sides as i slept at night ,is still continuing and my bodily movements and directions  is easily controlled and even secretion of sweat in various parts of my body specially in face comes and goes at will though i may not have exerted physically to get it .

I debated a lot with myself whether to blog this post or not though i feel that authorities specially politicians want me to  since they may think that by doing so i could dispel three doubts regarding me 1.whether i am alive or dead 2.To put it on record that i withstood  conversion attempts so as to assuage my Hindu viewers sentiments .other wise there could be chances of it boomeranging since such a openly conducted operation in September last would not have gone unnoticed with suspicions filling the minds  of those who were aware of it.3.to prove that freedom of expression is  in existence.
The thought that vidat's friends may read it and would not be able to digest  the travails of their late friends mother  held me back .Their reaction would be similar to Vidat and i didn't have the heart to subject them to disbelief, anger, frustration and tears.Then i thought of my brother Aravind and his miserable and untimely death  and felt i owed it to him to blog this and so i have .