Diary --30.8.14.--3.30pm

Blogged 15.8 and 18.8 .14 diary which pours out my angst about being abused and misused by Secularists cum politicians.An part of 15.8 in which i make few links with some leaders  is blocked .

Removed bulb from small bathroom and taped its socket and covered the shower and taped every little metal on taps.hoping this would give me the much needed privacy at least in a place i can get a little control over my current life all by myself . I know i am pitting my poor knowledge of spy cameras etc against  that of experts .Yet i hope that at least here i am a little bit free of roving eyes as ,i have tried my best ,climbing on stools and sticking those tapes . That is all.Changed glasses on room windows.

Just before lunch heard long time resident telling ufr that medicine has to be sprayed as termites have started eating the foundation.ufr the sec of association said fine we will cut the trees.
Remembering the way the lush canopy of the forest tree that gave us so much shade and privacy was felled by ufr,i accosted him in the landing asking him not to cut the green cover near my balcony.He agreed and parted with the words' i'll take care of everything.'
Now when i think over those words it is sending alarm bells within me.didn't he coolly tell the watchman at height of my jamming that motor can be used  till  water lasts and everything was fine and there was nothing to worry?Didn't my face become a mask that could be peeled off ?So now what treatment is being readied for me?i am losing hair in lumps !It could also age catching up yet it is too  sudden and drastic.

A small girl is blabbering in flats  below . Maybe to shut my loud thinking
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There is hardly any new thinking or creativity left as there is no leisure and peace coupled with constant fear of losing hub ,son and others .And i am being repeatedly tested as to how 'strong a Hindu' i am.!

i hail from a long lineage of scholars, philosophers poets , so naturally i have interest in philosophy, history and so on .So what is the need for me to prove it ?and when it is proved i receive news of passing away  of my near one's .so i have to make a link between the two .Who ever is putting me into these tests please stop it immediately ,it is becoming a  trial by funeral fire. To, please whom?why? what is there to boast about my interests and beliefs  and prove it forcibly to people i hardly know?Again running in circles.
5.30.pm--
              did i cover the socket properly?. it seems that i haven't covered it properly and it seems that any one would have watched me whilst i bathed and changed a bit without inhibitions lulling myself into a false sense of security and privacy.Can't even write about it .why is this peeping into my private moments  going on and on ?Even a doc will get tired of it.
The reason i decided to blog this is because when i wound some dark material over the socket hoping this would stave off the view ,a goat started to bleat miserably sending alarm bells.

i request those who read this to use their influence to save my husband Ravi's  and son 's  life as well as others in my near family. i just lost my very dear elder brother . i am quite convinced  that my husband's life is getting cheaper day by day.I am convinced that my attempts to secure my privacy would make  my husband and son  scape goats. ..

I have no idea as to who reads my blogs but it  has been suggested that they have international ramifications.So those in authority please  inform me about my sphere of influence and kindly put an end to this constant testing of my strong Hindu cum strong secular credentials.Since political parties are lukewarm to me i guess i am being projected  as a' individual activist' to suit some one's interest and its effects on me is traumatic .The casing that is going on and on  ends in a death in the family in a cyclic manner.Why should such a role be foisted upon me ? --persuasion by suggestions or threats held,  has to be considered as   forcible.
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I cannot choose between my husband's life and son getting  married  soon .I want my husband to live long and also want my son to get married reasonably ,soon  and that he leads a very happy long life in the company of his wife and children and i also want to live long happily in the company of my husband, son, our son's wife /daughter-in - law and grand children

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