Thirupavai -1.

Maargazhi thingal madhiniraindha nanalaal,
neerada podhuveer!podhumino neirizhaiyeer!
seermalgum aayarppadi selavasirumeergal'
koorvel kodunthozhilan nandagopan kumaran!
yerrarandha kanni yashodai illam singam,
kaarmeni senghan kadirmadhiyam pol mughathaan,
Narayanane namakku paraitharuvaan
 paror pughazh padindhe lorembavai.

Meaning

In the month of Margazhi on the auspicious day of the full moon all those petite girls of Gokulam who are interested in bathing in the river do join us.
One who is the son of Nandagopan who bears a sharp spear  and has a fierce profession,

One who is the lion cub of Yashoda who has beautiful eyes,

One who is of the hue of rain bearing clouds  with red eyes  and a face that is like a moon which radiates the brilliance of sun,
He is Narayana .He will grant us the boon that is approriate to our penanace.
Take part in this penance that is hailed ,world over.

Nothing earth shaking to comment upon.

A decision was arrived to form a govt in Delhi by Aravind.k and an emotional blog was written by N. Modi   expressing his relief.

Both are personal choices well within the rights of respective individuals to exercise,so what is there for me to comment upon?

Similarily  how should it matter to me as to who takes the ultimate decision in Cong [if at all only to the extent of clearing the foggy operations around me ] and if it is S.ghandhi then whether their pm candidate will be declared or not and who that would be is obviously her personal call, so what is there for me to analyse, advise or present emotional evidence?.Absolutely nothing to comment upon.                                              

Tsunami averted on tsunami day.--politics.

Is the verdict giving a clean chit to modi in zakaia case a moment to rejoice for modi and his fans as all msms and libs are dinning ?
Viewing this from a purely political point of view [with my unique way of processing  events  which is why i am in this crazy set up] this verdict has in one swift move removed the victim hood of the hindutva icon,who was literrally deified in UP recently which even to my limited knowledge and interest of electoral politics  that is seats etc, is the key state in determining as to who would rule india.

This verdict of cbi court is definetly a relief in small measure   to cong and detractors who can feel relieved that  in some measure an tsunami of sympathy wave that may have been unleashed.in a crucial state has been averted.                                                                                                                                                     With regard to aap it is my view that cong and libs will prop it up come what may by pumping money for all those poll promises to be kept  for gaining a toe hold in north as well as to trim any excessive power that m could acquire in a re- election.

Politics i am learning is a painful thinking process that involves .taking stock of all probabilities and then  acting .An scientific gamble.

Note :If i sound crude it is because my initiation into politcs 1 and half years back was very crudely done and since then i have been repeatedly exposed only to the very dirty and bloody underbelly of politics.

Realisation --diary written on 20 .12.13 -8am

The very fact that what i write personally  in my house is selling like hot cakes amongst politicians and media and what i bellow in anger in my drawing room is keenly heard by many a political ears and  my fast running thoughts  are constantly jaw read from above and neiboring flats as well as by an army of  constantly shadowing locals, as well as professionals where ever i go testifies to the fact that it is my emotions as opposed to my reasoning that is in great demand ,specially in the politcal class.

This explains my deliberate isolation to frustrate me in even having small social contacts with people around --neighbours,vendors ,relatives,pedestrians etc [like a open air solitary confinement -which perverted/autocratic mind devised this reminisent of kgb rule in stalinist ussr and more recently like despotic human right activists of western country mindset?] accompanied by constant hostility [which is obviously tutored but it does get on one if followed non stop for 2 years] to provoke me to display emotions either in writing or in speech or both..It is a pity that no one has the guts to stand upto the authorities and even if they do ,are not much  bothered about me..
Ofcourse the dominant partner in this unholy alliance would prefer that i restrict myself to verbal venting and not write it down --Naturally to cut losses.

Ok this diary writing is not for probing the unfanthomable devious intentions of politicians [by doing so  is only turning my once black hair, white and nothing more is coming out of it]but to list down the probables who could be influenced to talk  decisions with the help of my emotions.

1. Women in power [ofcourse] Specially those who are depressed at large part of time or at a given point of time ,who are therwise extremely busy and socially active.
2.Old men who  once held a lot of power  but now doddering on senility , isolated due to advancing age  and therefore emotionally vulnerable.Again at specific times.Of late even men of my age or a decade older and losing the grip are influenced.
3. Men  a decade or so younger than me .This category truly mystifies me.They are well educated, uptodate with happenings around ,well read ,more than me and yet my emotions touch them specially when they feel cornered or when their confidence is shaken
Just how do they relate to me is truly puzzling.Mind you this bunch belongs to all shades of opinions and idealogies and at times in direct opposition to each other.
The former two category is understanadable --age, nerves etc but this 3 category   a confident lot in thier very prime should beinfluenced by me puzzles me and made me try and solve it  early in the morning today.

Could it be that i appear to be in their generation?Same Popular culture, general knowledge,philosophical musings etc ,yet one step ahead in taking a firm stand which they would like to but are hesitant to do so?The typical dominant ,reckless yet vulnerable sibling or friend or alter ego?
Any way the people cookers who have already observed my influece are using me to emote suitably.Now who is a caged parrot in this embroiligo though this should also clarify to all as to who is actually ruling India.Political advisers with their caged parrots.

My innocuos middle class  neighbours   from this flat complex tucked away in south ,driving in thier two wheelers ,seemingly leading an ordinary citizens life are either facilitating decisions or even actually making decisions that affects this country  for all those super busy worthies  living in super spendour  in super sanitised areas ,who in time of political crisis crave for a feel of the dust , grime and grind of ordinary folks[ mine is artificialaly made] to steady them.

My luck,no no it is ill luck that i have been caught in this trap.If RG jumps with joy that he had empowered an ordinary citizen like me i 'd like to splash some cold water --facts--on this myth .I am no ordinary citizen
resaons
1. My family background--political and scholarship
2.My education.
3.Financial independance
4.My grief and resultant blogging.

I was already empowered  .This shady going ons is an attempt to curb it.

If all this imposition writing i am doing like one posessed is somehow to trap me into influencing ak to form a govt , my decision when my emotions were originally tapped into remains firm and the original one-viz--To form or not to form a govt is a decision only ak has to take by himself..


All those intelligent journos etc reading this make your connections with the gist in earlier blog.

Redeeming the trust reposed.

For the past 2 weeks i had been put under extra ordinary pressure by people cookers at the behest of their masters --politicos and media.
My nights were spent tossing in the bed and days sped in a  incoherent daze and in writing reams and reams of confessions .Only last night i finally got some respite --a few hours of undisturbed sleep when the b------- switched off their gadgets  let go off their mind controlling techniques.

Here is a list of dates of my compulsory involvement.in the aap drama.

From 8 th itself my mind was constantly tapped with suggestions that fell in place only as and when i spoke to my son over the phone on 9 th evening .It was to gauge my view that is at a very deep ,deep subconscious level as to what i actually thought that Aravind k should do now,after bjp had decided not to form a govt[before going to lg].That night as i slowly drifted into sleep i said to myself[remember pf and co can jaw read ] it is up to Ak to decide.

I suppose this totally detached view wasn't in the line of thinking of the politicos/media who kept putting more and more presurre which would make me write ad trap me into taking a stand .

As the Delhi dead lock continued i fought the temptation to broker  a deal between A.K and bjp .A gust of  chilly wind  of early night blowing on the terrace sobered me with the realisation that for all my power over the net ,it would be unfair to use it over all those persons and parties who have actually toiled on the ground expending money, energy and time with fond dreams and objectives.So i refrained from attaching the alluring tag of 'Honest broker' to my accomplishments.

A few more days passed and just like the public that has a short memory i observed aloud that it was better for ak to form a govt and fulfill his promises if he wanted to retain the trust of the public.
I neither wrote this nor blogged it busy as i was writing impositions after impositions on totally unrelated topics.It was so tiring that blogging was impossible. The pitfalls of over dose  of pressure tactics that a hard pressed people cookers overlooked in their eagerness to deliver.

Finally i wrote the view of a fatigued public in my diary on 17 .12.13--10 pm .I suppose i was expected to blog this .i didn't .Earlier that day i had written in my diary about me  as a sister would not poke her nose in a married couples life as to whether they wanted a child and if how they would go about it [test tube baby etc] .This could have given ak [who also reads my diary,so how clean is he?] the idea of forming the govt [child]after  holding a referendum. pf  succesfully wrangled out an idea.

Since the pressures over me  were building up [god knows ,who and what gave me strength to endure such brutality ]i decided to stay away from the net so as 1. not to get confused 2. not to give any indication to ak and co or ppts  that would be contrary to my view the original one that ak has to decide for himself.I will have nothing to do with it.

Why was i firm in this view.?

Reasons.
1. When he and others were  activist i gave them  moral support  as i didn't want to be the one dampen the   enthusiasm of the young,idealistic and naive net users to the anna movt  who were turning a indifferent eye to foreign funding, tax evasions , financial irregularities ,etc of the leaders of this movt.Even if i did,that is attempted to open their eyes to the futility of yet another law [lokpal]to eradicate corruption and that  their leaders were all not saints and totally above suspicion like all the well informed journo's , bloggers were pointing out  then itself ,they wouldn't have been in a mood to hear.Time pounces on every one and the freshness of youth is not ever lasting.But now the stakes are too high.The person and once activists will be in a position of responsibility with resources of the state and people in their command and this makes me baulk that is shy away at the very idea of pronouncing them clean since with all the info available that points otherwise i am unable  in a basic level  to view them as incorruptible or honest or financially above board.as they are projecting themselves to be and therefore would rather that the trusting youngsters digest the bitter pill ,that i am administering--viz-truth. right now itself..

2. was disappointed when ak and co  chose politics over activism by forming a party but respected his decision that could have been the true fruit of his desires and ambitions.Maybe my blog at that 'fast' to end the futile and life threatening exercise may have crystallised this decision .

3. My disillusionment was complete when instead of being a clean politician committed only to cleansing up the system he trod the typical crass pseudo secular politicians path by wooing highly controversial  and avoidable elements in minority community.

Hence i couldn't get myself to give ak a clean chit which was what the ppts [may be from all  political parties] were demanding from me.
So this clean blogger refused to certify this mega creature of the net that had taken real shape[aap]on terra firma.

Again why did i hold back with such persistence ?I could have blogged and secure my release from that never ending psycho torture and felt free  much earlier as i do now ,today..
Reason.

1.My entire being ,down to the very sub conscious level rebelled against this  illegal unconstitutional and simply crazy intrusion into my house and my privacy and refused to submit to coercion how ever helpless i may be ,that is totally isolated and cornered without evidence to fulfill some dirty politicians/medias totally selfish agendas. If i hadn't so grossly meddled with i might have written just what the adjustment bureaus wanted ,on my own.                                                                                                                                                                    2.My initiation into the the net world was due to my late son who was a centrist tilted to the right , patriotic, incorruptible, hard working and also enjoying weekends , idealistic and altruistic.The recognition i got through the net was the fruit of his endeavour to bring to the public his mother's [me] abilities .An mother whom he knew would never lie to him how so ever trying circumstances she may be in .And i had to redeem that trust come what may.To hell with shceming politicians ,let them do what they like  with me but i' ll not give in try my best to weather it out.

Now net has become irrelevant.My diary was and is.Since both has merged --public and private space, the battle of nerves was getting tougher and tougher each day.So when ever i as tricked into writing i somehow realised the true purport for making me write --to give a clean chit , a certificate of validation to a typical politician --ak--who was fooling the public by acting like a clean activist .Had he been truly a honest  politician or a clean activist he wouldn't have dilly dallied this long to arrive at  a decision..

After my early morning writing on 20 th  pf  spoke in a voice [from his balcony above] that was curiously flat [at least he informs me , small mercies].Exhibiting his disappointment at the lack of fruition of that night long pshyco tortures and orders.

Why? just what is stake in here?Was it in any way connected to US state depts decision to proceed with legal proceedings  that was hanging fire against that woman diplomat ?Robot like i immediately switched o n tv news and read the breaking news that state dept [some young man] was going ahead with its rules .That diplomat  showed the indian politicians their place.Serves them right. Were the politicos drumming up public outrage theory to score some diplomatic points and secure electoral advantage and i threw cold water on that manufactured media rage?That means even foreign media or even worse foreign countries are having  a  direct access to my house .On that day too i had reiterated that i wouldn't intervene in ak'a decision and had mentioned about caged parrots .

Or is it even more sinister ? That US had of late started engineering and encouraging civil rights movts  in developing countries to cause confusion in such countries[read it on net] and then later make such movts enter politics so that it can indirectly control such countries through their activists turned politicians- puppets?
Was ak movt one such? And  a clean apolitical  member of public, or activist --like anna -- or in my case a  clean blogger  certificate of probity was needed to affix a sincere stamp of approval[did anna distance himself on coming to know about this?] so that several such spontaneous risings can be funded to embarrass the country as well as the party in power?The next could very well be bjp and next some one else but the fact that could be is that the sovereignity of our state constitution and laws could be seriously compromised insidiously.

If so i gave the message that day itself to US as well as to all those selfish and unpatriotic root less Indian politicians of all hues clinging to it in fond hope of power and pelf  to just get lost ,don't meddle in our affairs by sticking to my stand that ak wasn't squeaky clean .

At the end of this long fortnight  of intense pressure applied to me i am glad that i found the strength not to betray the trust my late son[ which would also include all those young viewers with similar views and ideals] had reposed in me by standing it out.

   *******************************************************************************
27.12.13
The irony of it all cannot be lost on my regular viewers and to myself.Last may --june  ie in 2012 i was hounded by political parties for having blogged in favour of anna movt as well as supporting ak and co and tried their level best to make me join a political party and to stop blogging now for the past 15 days i was incessantly hounded by the same set for not blogging  after joining a political party or even writing in my diary in favour  of ak and co!I am living and shining example  to the extent the major national political parties are willing to go to seek validation for themselves and to push their selfish interests..
Further if ak and co were like the cong decades ago  viz making a lot of noise about corrupt ion i was like and am like bjp that was decades ago viz spreading hinduism[mine genuine interest but politicos are trained to see only politics ] and hindutva pretty thick in my blogs.
But both parties changed over time and were clearly embarrassed at our respective tenacity of purpose and  to top it all our mutual backscratching,mine  over the net .So an concerted psycho warfare was launched to bring both the non violent activists to the main stream of politics.
The former succumbed first owing to inherent ambition but the latter held on for quite some time and also succumbed owing to humanitarian considerations.Water finds its source .Ak with all his protestations is actually comfortable with nehruvian cong and i found my way to bjp due to basic ideological confluence.
How typically masochistic of us both to join the respective groupings that hounded us in the first place.!A victory to big two.It is also a victory to the mini  two's.
However tiresome and irksome we may be neither of the big two can wish away their [original] mini me's.[As activists we could have been handled with more nicety and diplomacy or simply ignored.]

At least it holds good for me.By intruding into my activist life and  by deliberately blurring the private and public space it is the party's [to which i have joined] 'duty' to either to bear with me or exercise the right to remove me from the party formally.because ill stick on without foregoing my individual identity.There is no q of defection ,etc.

Aap's forming the govt in Delhi

Congress's consolation prize in the recent race..

Hypocrisy.

I am unable to comprehend this sudden furore over a ruling of S court on LGBT issue where in their Lordships were accused of re -criminalising LGBT who were de criminalised by H.court ruling few years back.
An witch like anchor's non stop rants against the verdict at front of the camera  for the whole day scared the devil out of me  and made me cast my mind back to pre de criminalisation of lgbt years .Not a single instance of the overwhelming millions they are said to be in numbers as per all the worthies on the media was  ever heard to be  jailed by this penal provision  and was never brought to notice of the public.So the assumption is that the law was never enforced.
If supremo is taking cudgels on behalf of individuals rights ,what about mine madame? Do i have to declare myself as lgbt so that my privacy can be restored ?How so ever odd i may appear with a different mindset as a individual i am also entitled to the rights guaranteed under article 21.Let go.

The judge has applied the existing law to the case in  technical manner.If ruling dispensation is appalled of this portion which is appalling all it need do is delete the offending portions of the section 377.

My view: I do find lgbts odd.But do not view them as criminals [nor does anybody around] and do frown upon them being derided constantly.The ranting and wailing in the media is a bit too exaggerated..           written at 11 AM   13 .12 13

The dichotomy in the  happenings currently[12 pm] that of a well known politician [who opposed the lokpal bill vehemently] in jail for corruption getting bail from SC and the tabling of Lokpal bill in rajya sabha  at the same time  ,as if on cue is truly amusing and ironical.

Doctrine of karma---reaction to an article

An author of an article on Karma in Bhavans journal  was playing the devils's advocate in his supposedly first instalment [the next issue didn't carry the next  instalment with alternate arguments] by questioning the irrationality of this doctrine by posing the question as to how a fish condemned to its lowly state due to its previous karma know that it was suffering due to its past deeds?So this doctrine is laughable as there is no repentance.

To my knowledge the doctrine of karma is propounded for the benefit of a human being with his sense of right and wrong ,who is warned of the pitfalls that await him in due course of time ,if not  then in his next birth ,that of being born as a lowly form of life without any power of reasoning.It is not necessary for the fish to know its former birth but for human beings endowed with reason to know that a birth as a fish may await that person as a result of his karma / deeds.
That person could be born as better person viz,in a good family with scholarship and prosperity.Even then that person enjoying the fruits of past deeds has no knowledge of his prior birth because  Sri Krishna has said in the Gita "Arjuna i have the knowledge of my previous births [as a bhagwan] but you as a mortal do not have",must be taken by all reposing faith in karma doctrine  as its justification  and rightly so.Learnt this
by personal experience.
.
 

Kangroo court.

Yesterday i was listening to a discussion between Kanchan and Swapan gupta on niti Central radio on the e impending communal violence bill.

They referred with disgust to a national authority composed solely of activists who would sit in judgement over cases relating to hate propaganda and riots, by passing all the legal procedures an ordinary court has to follow .That is, the decisions would be subjective and not professional.A parallel  jatpat judicial system more or less like a khap panchayat in other words a legalised lynch mobbing.

Now take my personal case. If the bill comes into existence i can lodge a complain against my Muslim, non brahmin,and christian neighbours for communally harassing me a Hindu brahmin woman living in a muslim dominated non brahmin majority area.and  constantly spreading hate propaganda against me.though brahmins could also be involved but they would be considered minority over here and so let off.
.
A teesta  like activist as well as all those leftists and extreme leftists manning that panel may overlook my plea for harboring rightist views.Instead of teesta what if a ' right' activist was in that panel?The presumption that naturally rises in me is that  is that he will throw all my harassers into prison at least for 3 years.So the presumption of 'subjectivity' of the activist panel proposed ,is more or less correct 

Mine is real scenario, i may or may not actually go the full length,but swapan also referred to scenarios that are fictitious, that is spreading false rumours and creating false riots to fix anyone . This could happen both ways.

 That is if this bill comes into existence and right leaning govt comes to power there could be a move to dislodge all the leftists from this all powerful panel  and there could be a move to fill it with rightist activists, both moderate and extreme .To fix an opponent by mere merit of activism and stroke of  a pen would be as enticing to the right and  far right as it is to the left and far left.

The book launch.

I was manipulated to attend the carefully choreographed book launch of right wing blogger that had as its chief guest an astrologer ranting about past atrocities ,an dusky right wing  lawyer persistently glaring at me and avowing his deep bonds with a christian father and a dusky political analyst  and it was timed to end with the pony tailed journos internment.There were a lot of young bloggers buzzing around feigning  total ignorance to my presence [sujataism] on the net .
Reasons for this drama-

1, To show to  me, my insignificance in the net and the total indifference of  even educated  intellectual rightists to me .It was overdone.I didn't buy it.

2.To show me as superstitious to all those intellectual/rational bloggers.--Succeeded.I am superstitious to a certain extent.

3.To show me as delusional ,that is float a curse theory that of my [bjp]cursing journo in 27.10.13 blog  to under go my travails through their womenfolk and because of that Tejpol[cong] was caught and the tamasha was extending too long for anyone's comfort specially the ruling party that got severely hurt in nirbhaya case and the supremo was not melting and when i the mini bjp /designer aam aurat in shadowy custody for more than a year and half, so easily manipulated , nodded my head that curse would return when Sandeep spoke about it[so unlike him to talk about curse or believe in it ] and the signal was given by the supremo taken in by my remorse and the so far her  very loyal journo was shoved into custody and i would write about this and all bloggers as well as other msns journo's  [my regular diary readers] would rightly conclude that i was delusional, to cover up some of my  very real insights and the grasp of several gory political happenings under the constant wardship of Intel's for the past year and more.--no idea of impact.But one q that troubles me is am i that important to be shown as delusional to all those bloggers who already know what is  happening around me more than i do or  was it really orchestrated so that some one fascinated as well as repulsed by me had to take a decision by melting down and forgiving the curser [me, who was enjoying the show put up by rightist bleeding hearts on tv unaware that the pony tail did what his baser instinct made him do  was because of my curse! ]and avert another of those  civil society movt much feared by the political  class?Since a omerta of silence has been thrown over me ,i have no feedback hence no idea of its impact.

4.To use it as a opportunity to nasty Internet Hindus a tit for tat for nastying msn journos, anchors,left liberal writers,etc on the net by compelling their attendance by show of state power in a event that was hijacked to nasty one of their,[rightists] own [me].and used me as a ruse.
succeeded.The discomfiture shown by sandeep betrayed a queasy conscience and it  reminded me of the embarrassment suffered by aravind k at the hands of tricky Cong and i doubt whether the dent to his ego would be so easily forgotten.Have to wait and see.

The book Tippu the tyrant  of Mysore is a scientific endeavour by the author to dispel the halo that ruler has acquired It is well researched .

Trifurcation of j&k.

I am for it.

Womem's reservation bill.

I am not for it.If a woman is ambitious for  a political career or service minded or both  there is nothing in any Indian law or in the society ,that prevents her from contesting elections by either joining a political party or on her own just like men.
The word reservation itself smacks of a patronising mindset.It demeans one socially as well as individually.Women who have set their heart on politics have to compete with men on equal footing or simply perish just like it is in  all the other careers  open to women .                                                                          Aren't talented, ambitious as well as service minded women [for eg ias]doing very well in all walks of life and careers purely on the basis of their merit? .

Blemishes that media seeks to bind india as a whole.

1. Corruption:   Reporting scams after scams with great gusto apart from the initial politics this aberration   was in a way projected as the common thread of unity running and binding all Indians.
That it backfired on the very establishments that pedalled this is another matter.

2.Atrocities on women: Reporting rapes after rape  reminding one of 1970's bollywood films that had a mandatory rape scene in each film and every film.
Since rapists and their victims have no caste or creed hence another factor has been pounced upon in the noble quest of integrating the supposedly warring communities.

result.1. Demonisation of Indian male as lechers. [Truth is most of them are at least most of those i happened to come across].
2.Diversion from scams and corruption ,the original unifying tool abandoned hurriedly after it unleashed a Frankenstein monster.

Enjoy the unpreventable.

I examined all the options to extricate myself from the impossible position i find myself that is of being the fake conscience of high and mighty  by emoting after a  painful process[the worst part of this  bargain] cum script writer for speeches to high flying politicos cum the trigger for swift political moves .[from ideas gleaned from my diary]
Since  all  politicians are into this clandestine operation ,to drill and mine me what justice or remedy can i expect either by approaching a women's organisation or  the police or counselling and treatment from a doctor of my choice?
.Even that idealistic and quite tough right wing blogger was rattled [slightly] by the presence of intels in his book launching function for having to come, face to face with the clandestine but real army of State power,that to only for few hours unlike me weathering them day in and out for the past one and half years.Yes of course he is not an politician to take it in his stride only a journo so neither am i.

The fact that i am cornered from all directions without any escape route put me in a fit of sudden depression specially at the thought of having to bathe, dress ,eat, relax under constant glare of seemingly inexhaustible supply of energetic and malevolent man force 24/7 ,when the sage counsel of CBI director, that' if one cannot prevent rape one must enjoy it'  came to my mind and this golden words of wisdom from the highest custodian of law and security chased away the dark clouds of fear, shame and frustrations and galvanised me to action and enjoy my nityakarmas.

I have blogged a lot of mantras in this very blog but the only  mantra i remember and chant often to elevate myself these days  is the one  so generously proffered by that profound man to victims of rape.It is helping me to deal with the situation.Thank you kind sir..

I do have one option viz judiciary to combat this unwanted burden of shifting the responsibility of taking decisions on to my shoulders due to compulsive obsession with power coupled with superstitious belief's at the  highest level of this great country.All i need is one shred of evidence to take to task all those actively and directly involved in this shameful charade i am being subject to day in and day out.