Effect of my eulogy on a crow

This mentally handicapped youth is also used quite often in this pshyco war.Again got to know  this by the lookout crow drawing my attention  to his presence near the temple 

That sad looking  youth seated in that old newspaper  shop Add caption

 The dark driver of next flat who wears a streak of white vibuthi .he is often used

Add captionThe film unit buses lining the street

Cloae up of the film unit

Went for a early walk as it is getting hotter pretty soon in the day.Got  but a glimpse of namum of Srinivasar from the gate as many tall fellows were blocking my view from inside the temple.This hardened me as it is being done quite constantly and deliberately for years and i was visiting  this hall after a long time  as part of morn walk so stuck on near the gate till i got a tiny glimpse after 15mts,Came back ,to see film shooting vans lined up outside my flat.Noisy days ahead
Reminds me of the noisy shooting before strike in fti and during the award wapasi mass hysteria .'Seculars' gambit.
after reverse nastying and satisfying to a certain extent my need to take revenge , i am now avoiding all those neigh who make me feel  ickily sticky , induce incontinence, and make me scratch.Specially the watchman as i guess he is widely used and i have to pass him whilst going out or coming in and my hecklers from this flat call out to him often in teasing manner  or loudly engage with him .the morn one is dark and elderly ,the night one was a youth a dark person but for past few days it is lighter skinned man at night.Avoiding would mean i have to avoid nearly three fourths of my flat mates.What an orgy!A live one that would beat a pure porn movie in its conception and execution and uncensored.!A slight draw back ,most of the players are potbellied ,bald,white haired and middle aged .

10.15 ---Was about to take my bath when a crow's aiyo aiyo call made me drop the ritual and to take my camera and speed to the balcony.hub meditating.Young men college going types were sitting in front of the film units bus facing my balcony.Where they the cause of the crow;s despair?Those boys were undeterred by my camera .Then after several minutes as if on cue they all got up and left.hub still meditating.are they Christians? conversion?How?Must be that the id number is in hubs meditation and they left when he finished japa on our deity's  name as they  didnt' stay through out his meditation ,which includes other slokas.A plane also as usual went overhead.Assumed they were christians because crows shown to me as alerting me to casing dangers get highly excited by that corner christian shop on and off and when a lot of youths assemble.

ok he is open to interrogation .By whom? Christians?Is it the punishment for  blogging about crow and pitrus yesterday?ok what will they do?Are they on thier own or belong to a political party?
Maybe hub is also conditioned to flights , boys etc like me to have some sensual sensations and return to youth abnormally.
How can this be considered as conversion? At the most it can be taken as phsyco attempts to nasty our prayers, beliefs and meditation .like asuras of yore pouring filth ,bones flesh etc when rishi's were conducting homam or meditating in the forests .
 If i am humiliated and punished just for writing about crows and pitrus then it will push me to retaliate by deliberately doing some research on crows role in hindu practises and hinduism and blog it.Let's see what happens then ? .
i am being threatened by those who are in know  of my id number to tow their line or write as per their demands .So as not to buckle under this threat i am sorely tempted to do a deep research on that common bird  the  eye of this storm   and its importance in hinduism specially with regard to pitrus or anscestor worship which is part and parcel of hinduism and blog it all.
Is it a crime to write or blog about my experiences and about hinduism?Should i have to
go to some foreign shores  and then blog all this from there?
Iam uploading photos and videos i took today.of this pshyco +emotional blackmail i have been subject to and still am by using science immorally and unethically.

Lively company

The patch of sky forming the background of the fig tree silhouetted in a pencil sketch shone with the subtleties of old unpolished silver .AS the sun rose some clouds behind this tree floating on that old silver plate  took the hue of sandalwood paste made out water soaked in saffron flower .A slight reddishness added to yellow sandal paste turning it to light orange.As the eternally duty bound illumination of the world rose higher this thrilling patch lengthened into gently brushed streaks.

Crows were flapping their wings quietly in tune with the gentle colours being splashed as if savouring this aroma and inhaling it to their fill.
The crow is a bird i never took notice of all my life,It was part of the scenery .The only time i found its  cawing  reassuring was when i heard it in phone conversations i had with my parents living in another part of the city as it immediately conjured up the shady  avenue  where they lived and the peace of the relaxed paced life of retirees which would wash over me ,an overworked home maker ,as a peaceful balm

On the whole i never took notice of this bird ,its black lean and mean body  and its cunningness was not worth a glance,unlike a parrot or myna or pigeon .Moreover its harsh call jarred on my ears whilst the notes of  a koel would make me stop and listen to its calls.

But now so late in my life as i observed a lone crow that suddenly became my companion , mentor in my enforced captivity and away from distractions of net etc , i found it a intelligent and lively and even humane creature.
The more i observed, it amazed me at the range of emotions which it is capable of and which it lets out in various tonal inflections , ranging from anger, fear, sadness and also sweet contentment.
A bird that i was also scared of as it had attacked me several times when i had inadvertently went too near its fledgling dropped down from its nest near my gate or on the road side.I had also watched it in revulsion as it gorged on small animals squashed on the roads by vehicles.I knew that it had special significance in Hindu practises as many people feed it hot cooked first meal of the day and then only partake the meal prepared for the day.Also that a ball of rice has to be fed to a crow after performing yearly rituals conducted for pitrus or departed ancestors.But all this didn't make me give it a special or integral place in my life . 

But this lone crows antics  caught my attention .whilst no other bird needed to do such antics to catch my attention this bird had to to do so.The more i watched it i began to understand it better and the indifference and revulsion was replaced by gratitude for its very lively emotional presence.
The lean mean crow  like that tree with its pinkish  majenta blossoms ,ignored totally in my normal ordinary life in days gone by are offering me their shoulders to lean on in this very lonely spell .

written on 25.1.15     7am  sunday

. .

Crow.

What Peria aazhwaar has observed way back in 8 th centAd that people see poetry even in crows cawing.is
quite true .i am one such who has of late getting tuned in to the  various inflections in a crows tone.
It can be excited .quite shrill and at times it is very selfsatisfied ,like a cat, purring
At times it can be very low tone conveying hopelessness and at times even lamenting aiyo aiyo or Rama Rama
At times its tone is that of warning and alerting to something lurking which is not to its liking.

written on 22.1.15

Mailon varuga varuga-- meaning Murugha come, come

Kanda sashti kavacham ,the Tamil verses seeking protection of Lord Murugha the son of Siva was played from lower floor today in the morning.The six faced Murugha is worshipped with deep devotion and with great fervour by most of the Tamilians.

To me it is a warning like that 10 rs balm portending trouble ahead for words spoken written or  even dreams dreamt and deeds done.I have to note it down if not face painful bowel movments that are co ordinated with flights and motorbikes taking a turn at front of me or behind me and keep visiting toilet to discharge motion .Some times this bowel movt is only a forced activity to make me visit the toilet but at times it is coupled with severe abdominial pain like the one i experienced when i found out the effect of scooters and motorbikes that are co ordinated and synchronised with flights above me .Earlier suffered severe bouts twice ,one after the other, immediately after my uterus surgery.Sadism at its peak.Those days i was too fatigued to understand the meaning behind the warnings ,maybe this song was played then also ,dont remember now so did not write them down them and maybe paid the price.

ok what did i do yesterday  and today  to get this warning today?
1.Yesterday walked down to a charitable trust office  nearly 1 and half kms away through very narrow,crowded street congested with traffic of vehicles and people.Some dirty lungis [4 -5 men]deliberately walked behind me . ddint bother as i had decided earlier  in the day that if start feeling suspicious of every persons on the streets motives  i ll be forever stuck in my house and be mooning about my fate.Was prepared for whatever evil influence some persons on the roads , mostly  by those clad in dirty lungis and ragpickers have on me specially after weakening me in july and september 2014 with a solid foundation laid to do  so in 2011 itself  and  want my original normal life back .
2. Donated a sum to corpus fund in memory of my late son .This will educate a needy child from 7th to 12 th class.A donation i do  for the needy   i do every year.Could this be the cause?Is some one unable to digest this?The fact that i am remembering my late son whose memory is sought to be wiped out from me very systematically? .Even in 2014 i faced this opposition .I am spending  my money  in memory of my late son and pray why should this affect any one;s sensibilities? I am helping some needy person and this is being opposed!Do only  certain people have the right to mourn their dead and keep up their memory by such donations?
3.Night had a bizzare dream .since every thought is skimmed off my jammed forehead maybe this too was skimmed and read and this  hurt all those very decent people who very very indecently are prying into my thoughts  without any shame and are using neigh of both communities  who appeared  to be decent so far thus as stalkers in this never ending sensual game .Laughable when i remember my age

With election approaching are the authorities running scared of the fact that a muslim man was and is  given the control over a hindu woman ,wife of a hindu man and the peak of denying religious freedom was reached by allowing conversion attempts on me a person who was blogging extensively on hindu religion?The neigh who openly confessed his christian leanings though he is a hindu who visits a lot of temples , a neigh with whom we all got along from the beginning was also given the control  over us!Maybe to  some in lower strata of hindu society in here it is quite the in thing and very normal to keep images of both hindu gods and of jesus or Mary  equating Mary with amman but not for all the populace. From the begginning i was surprised at the gall  and utter insensitivity of  authorities to  me and the society  prevailing around us.Maybe in higher circles or in political circles which moves in a rarified atmosphetre this control given to a minority community over a majority community family would be very fashionable and so very secular! Must have been patting themselves with pride.But there is nothing modern or fashionable in that   man  who  in most conservative fashion keeps his wife in burkha and the other 's wife who has more such christian leanings will never venture out of her own even to a nearby shop .In ordinary circles this will never go down well  .i myself refused to believe that ufr was a muslim as i just couldn,t even imagine such a thing happening in india.This was not secular it was totally communal as i was being restricted and diverted from blogging on Hinduism by person belonging to a minority community  And i was not attacking  other community beliefs!Nor could i believe that a boisterous family that talks and moves so freely with all will come down so heavily on a neigh's wife for blogging on hinduism!All done slyly.

Today morning i recited slokas loudly unlike my usual self of mumbling .immediately a corporation  garbage truck came to clear garbage.why?After so proudly handing control over a hindu family to persons of other community  and allowing that shadowy conversion attempts was it suddenly felt that such things don't go well with ordinary public and there fore i the person  ridiculed and constantly humiliated for my hindu beliefs as expressed in my blogs  have to procalim my hindu identity by carrying bags of hindu gods images, visit temples and recite loudly slokas so that those who are evesdropping are satisfied that i am not converted.Though i have no doubt about my identity i have to keep on proving i am a hindu like a clown in a circus becuase authorities have erred and the common people who were roped into this  will never read my long  winding experiences viz obstruction to my freedom of expression and rel;igion and explanations in my blogs.Nor would they understand rfid.the id 16digit number and password if it is available to disable rfid and that  the attempt at  conversion .they all witnessed for a whole month ,with a white girl also making her rounds along with smarthas,amman bhakths and fez caps can be possible wouldn,t be possible without such people being given a direct access to my thoughts ,mind etc by using the id number and infra red rays.

Even the well educated manager at bjp office laughed at me when i said that i am being harrassed  in the four walls of my house by neigh living above us when i wanted his help to get over this constant harrassment [ after ge]/interrogation cum sound blasting and uv or infra rays piercing my eyes, ears and brain and asked how it was possible for a neigh to harrass one so slyliy and shadowily? It is not my look out to proclaim my religious status to anyone .it is also not my look out that by doing so i will be dousing fears of all those minos who took part in this charade quite gleefully lest some fringe take them to task .By reiterating my hindu status [,by procaliming i am a hindu iam a hindu to all and sundry ]from which i never went away, by carrying bags with images of gods etc i am experiencing or conditioned to experience more discomfort than i normally wouldAnd the look on the faces of total strangers and also ufr which lights up with pure pleasure after a leak in thier presence .like as if they have won a trophy in a battle is  so very  revolting and makes me hate them and makes me want to seek revenge.All  negative emotions i can do without. .

on other hand if i carry such bags or wear such ornaments my legs go weighty or limp and am made to leak in temples!guessing that since a long rope has been given these people are not letting go off me .and continue to harrass me with pure malice and hatred.


I am uploading two videos i took of that morning warning which has yet again made me come on the net though i have other work to do.

Photos of Soundaraja perumal temple at Anbil . near Srirangam

Photo of granery at Srirangam which is being renovated

Photos of honour given to cobblers in Srirangam temple.

These huge chappals are made by cobblers from a nearby village of Srirangam for the sacred feet of presiding deity Sri ranganathar.This is a ancient custom .The cobblers keep 4o days of strict penance and then make these fleets for the main deity  after getting a vision of the size of Ranganathars feet.once in every year. and take it in procession in the  temple festival of Sri ranganathar conducted every April .They carry it on their tonsured heads ,break coconuts on their heads and lay their offering before the processional deity with utmost reverence.This offering is skipped on the years these cobblers do not get the vision of the size.meaning thereby that they have not performed their penances properly.These sandals are then kept in percinicnts of the temple on the .outside of the sannidhis.It is kept outside a hall that has painting of SRI Ranganathar ,near his feet  This is a honour bestowed upon them by the temple  in recognition of their devotion caption

Video of 10rs balm The severe warning to me.

The date is 18 th feb and not 17th ,Took this video today in morning ,This is a warning to me for speaking in my house or even writing in my house or for blogging  anything that is against secularism  and which is coupled with reference to authorities .A warning which is 10 on scale 10 .This warning has to be noted down in my diary or book or come on net and blog or tweet it.I have ignored this warning earlier and met with minor accidents, tooth pains ,chest cold ,hence i have started noting it.It is probably issued for my previous blog on the chronology of the way i was made to discharge in temples,
I stand by what i have observed and blogged ,as it is the truth.Persons who did this to me were counting on my sense of shame to keep this as a secret.Pondered over it and felt that it is the persons who are doing this to me with their one pointed  obssession with secretions and workings of my private parts who need to feel ashamed and hide what they are doing to me slyly.,Is making me discharge in percinits of sacred temples secularism?if hindus are doing it ,this is self abnegating form of secularism.I' ll call it secular fanatism  If minorities are doing this then  it is sheer communalismWhy should i feel ashamed of some else.s acts  of abusing my body without my consent when i am not doing any such thing to any one or interfering in other people lives whether for gain or power or otherwise?
The vendor looked like a muslim from lower strata.He delayed his rounds in reaching my window where i was standing waiting to take his video till i wrapped a dupatta over my nighty .A sense of decorum  Nothing wrong .But i  find it  is hypocritical in those who are in this dirty racket to practise it.They donot mind being used to give me abnormal sensations in my private parts ,a strange Hindu woman older than most of them .going about her work in her house maintained by her Hindu husband but are assailed by sense of decorum when they see me as i am in my house.I was even given a shock in my lower spine when i dared to look at myself in the bathroom mirror of my house immediately after GE of 2014 ,A severe vibration as a punishment.,which made me lose my temper against political authority in  here and in centre and made me  pour it in  my diary  and was made to go through hell for doing so


on top.Photo of the vendor selling the 10rs balm

Chronology of being made to discharge abnormal liquids in temples

1.Middle of 2011---In museum of Sri Rangam temple --slight

2. February 2015---In Desikans sannidhi in Sri Rangam temple--Two dark skinned village women stood by my side .got  a headache ,then discharge of abnormally thick fluid and on cue two well dressed men came grinning at me from behind pillars.

3.September 2015---Whilst watching processional deity of Srinivasar at Tirumala being taken in procession.dark skinned sanitary workers [men] crossed us right in front of the deity taking a turn on the palanquin and i felt urge to visit loo immediately.

4.January --2016----At melkote  felt liquid trickle right slightly in front of the main deity .A dark skinned hefty ayengar young priest kept walking up and down .A lot of darkskinned persons visited .one who stood out was a village woman of middlle years with a single eye.

In between viz 2011-2014 i visited several temples in Tamilnadu, karnataka and Gujarat and even Tirumalai. after 2014also and nothing happened there.

The mega obssession of some men with  secretion of my private parts is not dying down even after i have come on public platform to blog it.It is the same in my flats where decent people are said to live and have known us since 2002 when we all took possession and it is same when i  go out and visit shops or temples.I wonder how these decent middle class neighbours meet my hubs eyes and talk with him freely after abusing his wife's private parts in sly?previously it was clandestine ,now after 2014 it has become open with persons crowing over the discharge and announcing it to public by ringing puja bell or looking pointedly at me by .strange men as well as neigh of upper floor.Revolting at that moment but hardens me to retaliate later .

i can even give a list of neighbours [men]and their names who have started to make feel icky and sticky after 2014september by their presence .That would be nearly more than half of our flatmates and there are 26 families living in here.of both major-hindu and minority -muslim community and the list will show how truly secular this flat is -no difference exists between 2 communities in abusing my private parts and this was specially made known to me after 2014september.

Re purdah

None of the persons i took video or photos objected to it or hide their face .Those from the tenements from opposite side seemed to be actually posing for my camera!
Today in morn around 7.45 am stood in balcony to take photo of our dark skinned watch man who resembles one of my long time neighbour.he eluded it deliberately i stuck on and a auto came with its obvious muslim driver staring at me pointedly as also at upper floor.Stuck on searching for the watchman.A flight went overhead , athin college going girl whizzed on her scooty and a fat iyengar man came in on mobike and there i felt that discharge.the auto driver looked at his mobile ,looked at me and i took his photo ,he left.Then went to window saw a christian driver got off his car and my hub passed him whilst walking outThat person who lives just opposite in tenements and active player in this casing was unfazed by my camera.As also the thin auto driver another active participant.
So it raises my suspicion again
1,They are all unconcerned at my  camera shooting them is it because they think it is their religious duty to convert ,hence are proud of thier contribution?
2.They are not in the least bothered about the consequences of my uploading it in my blog because
a. Have support of authority or money bags?
b.They know that it is only a drama being played to deflect and distract me?
The pupeteer of all these sex games is the person residing in flat immediately above me.His board says he works as admn officer in port trust of india,but ii seems he is administering port from his flat as he is always at home.which govt office will allow this?Once when i confronted him ,he said he worked for none and was his own boss! Then why that name plate?
second the other pair his son is said o work in IT  comp   ,but he leaves leisurely at 10 or 11am and is back by 2 or 4 pm ,dont IT people leave home at 6 or 7 pm and get back only at 8pm or even later Work from home is very rare for young men and is at the most given for a day or two in a month .So what work is this son doing?Fishy.

Since the photo ops were obviously organised for me today  it is making me suspicious .
It must be to deflect me from pondering and writing about the inhuman implant of rfid and gps and its follow up with jamming my head thoroughly and dehydrating me with discharge of liquids .Conversion topic is much more palatable than this blot on democracy.Isn't it?Audiences from Russia and US are lapping  up my videos on attempts at conversion.i hope they are doing so as clear proof  of the the method employed upon me to blank me out, an method similar to people cookers methods.The video ',attempts at our conversion', shows clear  proof of people cookers methods==viz scooters racing down, a diversion and a plane's sound is heard

Any how i will upload the photos i took today .since all these persons are in this nastying saga.

 The dark young christian youth in opposite tenements

The calender of amman and shankaracharya in the opposite window sill.in the clothes below a muslim watchman use to hang his clothes and stopped when i started to hang mine

A thin muslim driver always at watch at nights from hiscar

The auto driver who looks like a muslim after a plane went overhead at 7.45am

The christia driver  near his car  as my hub left for walk .he came driving till gate

The dark skinned elderly watchman.Watchmen play a vital role in this constant abuse and mega obssession with my private parts .They generally reflect a resident of our flats.This watchman makes my knee throb and also makes me leak.The earlier one was fair skinned with thick white hair and very active .He too made me leak  more heavily ,whenever he walked past me in parking lot below

A thin auto driver-hindu another activist in this casing work

A close up of the calender

videos of persons used in casing cum shadowy conversion attempts

Peodophiles have used this boy son of that christian shopkeeper son in titiliating me!Made to race down on cycle like as if running into me from opposite direction

video of persons used in casing / our shadowyconversion attempts

That is a long time neighbours ,ayengar family in some sort of family get together.Also diverted my attention ,See previous video to see the muslim neigh walk on opposite south side.as this diversion was going on and i turn my head and body [made to]west wards in honour of personages from the other community.rfid=gps+ultra rays is making me do this forcible honour to persons of this community Is it honour or nastying of their community is the question

video of persons used in casing cum crazy/shadowy conversion attempts on us

The person walking southwards in black pant is a long time muslim neigh living in next block.He has walked down from his flat and is going out precisely when a plane is near or overhead .And i was so engrossed in taking video that i automatically or was made to turn easily in west direction as he came walking towards east.Small stuff may be, but this is done so meticulously and systematically and the way our heads etc turn ,specially mine there is ulterior motive to all this.Have to call it non stop crazy filmy type attempts at conversion being done with a vengence

Video of casing cum shadowy conversion attempts

video of casing etc

Videos i took today-- 16.2.16 to show personsand places involved in my casing/conversion

View from my balcony to the street, the sewege cap where persons picking us stand, the open space where vehicles parked with ill intention,and the shop beyond

And the tenements some of whose residents are always sitting down and staring at us or flashing or scratching their genitials

Photos of persons and spots in the place where i live that are used to case /convert me and my husband.

the street and tenements visible from my bedroom window

The petty shop owned by the  lungi clad person, a christianAdd caption

Hand pump at front of this shop .Hand pumps also used in this dirty work

Another view of tenements and open space beyond .This open space is used in this dirty work that person is the new watch man of next flat.A dark person like ours.That spot is used ti pick my and my hubs mind very regularily.cars,mobikes are often parked in this spot when i am on net or reading religious magsor watching tv and at all such times a flight goes up 

That is the elder son of ufr-muslim resident/neigh leaving on his new bullet in morn from our flats,coordinating it with a flight above

This flock of crows on that shop are silent today ,normally this shop is  the source of their anxiety

Hand pumps that overlook my flat and room .used profusely all through night several times to give me sleepless nightsThe man with his back was behaving strangely,when i took these snaps in morn .he is new to this placeAdd caption

My uufr brahmin neigh 's wife who  rushed to rescue some muslim neigh of our flat from my reverse nastying,she didn't mind me being nastied by them or was just wilfully blind to it, all these years

The waste paper shop visible from both bedrooms .Also used very often in confusing and picking our rfid thoughts

The temple ,street and open space visible from my balcony and also to those standing ,driving down or seated in vehicles.They seem to take signals from ufr who must be having similar view from his balcony right above mineAfter hanging my inners on the clothesline many disappeared from this spot near the temple.i was compelled to dry them in those liquidifying days of september 2014 when commands that were sent to my mind could be easily grasped by me and making me believe that it was all for my benifit ,tho' it wasn't and they actually reduced me to a bag of nerves and lose my identity and confidence and normalcy

close up of the gas trucks parked on the open space ,the cylinders are loaded and uploaded on to the trucks,  To my conditioned or controled eras the volume of the sound the metal cylinders make is lowered and increased so as to provoke my thoughts ,lose my tranquility and irirtate me thus. the whole day Add caption

View of trucks  from my  bed room window which are still being used to provoke my thoughts and deter me from my peaceful pursuits like reading or writing some creative pieces.persons are always staring /glaring at me when ever i stand inbalcony or window from tenements beyond, street and open space denying me the space to ruminate or meditate.All this from 2012onwards .Has reached unbearably rude heights now after ge of 2014

Add caption

close up of of street, and trucks.

Parting gift.

The day was grey the sea bluish grey and the sun hidden behind grey clouds ,was sending showers of its intrinsic brilliance through the gaps in that dark cloud.The patch of cloud had not even 1 /1,000000 th of the power,width of the sun but had the temerity to block its rays , a boldness born out of the proximity to mother earth   whose patience and silent strength induced this, shielding all those in touch with her from the awesome ,brilliant and immeasurable powers and energy of bodies dotting the universe.

The sun poured its diluted rays on to the waters ,with each refracted ray assuming the shape of its companions up and beyond,the stars near and distant,The sun needed company in  here too and laid out on  the bluish grey waters , hundreds of tiny twinkling stars the replica of its celestial companions.An company the sun  sought till the dark cloud moved away or it gradually ascended that sky scaling above that cloud.

Enjoyable reflected mates.A treat to tired eyes and i got up from the sand to drench my feet .hoping to lift my grey mood with a touch of nature .No luck ,The waves seemed to retreat further in .Mood plummeted.

I had retreated from every one and when i started to reach out every one was deliberately retreating,Were the waves too doing the same?
Stood for several minutes ,The sea was stubborn.it seemed that sea was deliberately withholding the waves from making a contact with me.
The stars that carpeted her twinkled gently and i turned back disappointed and started climbing the tiny dune.
Then i heard the soft singeing sound that waves make and was nearly swept off the shore by a huge wave that drenched me ,and ran up ahead of me converting the reflection of distant stars  the eternal companions of the sun ,into foam swirling as a frothy milk and depositing it on the shore buttering it with  a slice of milky way and rushed back and drained into the sea.
my grey mood vanished ,Nature has not retreated from me.The laws and rules it is subject is Rita or Dhrama or eternal laws laid down eons and eons of years earlier .I had failed to retreat from my agitation ,confusion and  to still my mind so as to observe the workings of ageless laws.Laws not only pertaining to movements of tide but also guiding  my/our sojourn in this world ,A broad framework that leaves the details to be worked out by every individual viz me.
Had i stilled my mind would it have been possible for me to grasp.comprehend these eternal laws and obey, follow and avoid its transgressions?Even that great intellect and Vedic scholar  ,Desikan admitted defeat in fully comprehending Rita and pleaded with Varadhrajar[Maha Vishnu] to help and guide him to avoid pitfalls.

Nevertheless at that moment ,the waves pushing and dancing around me was a priceless parting gift with the singeing waves gesturing and whispering its encouragement.

written on 11.2.15 Wednesday 2.15.pm

Over riding power.

Temple doors can be be shut on my face .The priests can be ordered to feign ignorance of my presence and refuse to take my offerings or show aarti to the deity.They may even go  a step further and do weird rituals contrary to shastras and temple rules just to make me feel small and unwanted.
Persons who are truly devotees or not or purposefully sent only to shame me ,may jostle ,push and deliberately eclipse and obstruct the view of deity,The usual fare for past several years.
Does this hurt? I can laugh it off and i did.Maybe the persistent nature of this treatment had slowly got into me as this explains the huge relief i felt as i stood on my balcony few minutes back . my usual routine,to have a glimpse of the arasa maram -fig tree,the sky beyond and the tiny temple ,and to breathe and drink in the freshness and purity of early morning.Then i saw the diamond like sparkling dash of  scattered brightness  radiating through the gaps in the leaf laden tree.
The sun [the eternal celestial being] had risen cheerfully ,uncomplaining and expecting nothing in return,beaming and sending tiny strips of diamond rays ,gentle in its glare and heat, early in morning.Each  ray white and shining when seen closely ,had all the colours of the rainbow.It lit up my whole being ,bringing a smile .
Isn't sun worshipped by Hindu;s as god who rides the universe on a chariot drawn by seven horses?He has  a important place in our religion and religious practises.And i paid my obeisance to this unperturbed celestial being with my usual prayer right from my balcony.
Can anyone direct the sun not to rise in that direction so that i the newly turned outcast should not worship him ,have a glance or take i his beauty to my fill?can any human mind,heart,will or endeavour stop this dutiful being even for a fraction of a second in its tracks or manoeuvre its direction or extinguish it?

Can the a lamp made by human hands and its light directed by human hands ever compete with the brilliance of the sun .A brilliance which is said to be but 1/1000th of the dazzling brilliance of the overriding power that created it?
I said to myself with relief washing over me and exhilaration lifting me up and strength surging through me ,'Get away you pesky beings ,two hoots to you all, childish pesky harassers.'

written on 22.4.15------6.30 am.

Today 14.2.16.is Rathasapthami --the day on which sun is feted and worshiped.

Latest observations

1.The fall out of hanging my laundry on clothes line visible to any one on the street looking up at me standing in balcony is that the crow[another implanted one like me i guess or micro waved] which was alerting me to those on street with ill intentions viz maybe provoking me and reading the info they so much want or cause heaviness or lightness of limbs has moved away from the neraby tree.Its cawing  is heard faintly from a distance.This poor crow is  working overtime in its post.
This means that those persons who are put off by a sense of decency, that is cannot see my underclothes put put tp dry have moved away from eyesight but are still reading ,snooping into my naked  thoughts  and continue to create sensations in my pvt parts but do not find it indecent to so .I observed in my walks that my stalkers are both hindus and muslims from lower strata  .The latter averts his eye if my waist is exposed as it often does whilst walking but hindus donot .They  former don't find anything amiss or indecent in such normal exposures  .

2.Direction of my ears  when a plane is arriving or flying over my flat or near it which is synchronised with persons racing down on scooter, motorboke, auto or vans or at times even walking determines whether i will get a leak or urge to pass urine or whether my ears will start hearing mettalic sounds or  sounds get totally blocked off that i can't hear what i speak and hear others peak in a irritatingly high tones as well as pains  and secretions in my pvt parts and heart.
just read about rfids implant in another site .it says most common place is in filling of tooth .That these can be used to alter behaviour, make secretions from hormones possible,inject sounds into persons ears.like the tuk tuk i hear and is difficult to remove by surgery. .Aluminium foils can obstruct the rfid  readers in cards etc but is silent on its efficacy in  human implant.
3. The flock of crows that have taken upon themselves to warn me are irritated  ,angry and also scared of the christian owned petty shop that overlooks my bedroom as well as two dark hefty youths ,probably christians who live on opposite side.Their pointed rage and fear of these compels me to write one more stuff that i read .viz sites objecting to human implant by govt  find it against christianity to treat a human being as a animal since it is a mark of beast .Was i considered as a beast when i was thus implanted in 2011 or one  who needed to be actually reduced to that level?
4. I also read that ,loony 'persons are implanted .Remember that a year after my elder son's death the burhka clad woman my neigh resident of upper floor on meeting me on the street remarked at my glumness as well as my hubs and tried to cheer me saying that those who pass away are in heaven and are waiting for us.i replied that for us hindus heaven is only transitory and it is only moksham that is our final goal and only god and those few who have conquered re birth will be there to greet us.it is tough path to eternal bliss.mere death will not suffice.She also added that her hub[ whom we had never seen till much later  ]was skilled in treating families as a whole.
So her hub ufr who once said he was here to control me could be pshychiatrist or knows psychology Ok even if that is the case what right has he  or anyone who implanted the chip to to treat me without first taking my permission or mu families?
Was i troubling our neigh with my behaviour? No.
Did i pick up  fights with them or cause any discomfort to thier physical  or mental well being  with my gloom.? no.
At the most i was troubling myself and my hub .My hub wasn't complaining about my behaviour to any one.He was perfectly capable of tackling my emotional outbursts and didn.t need  nor ask any outsiders help to set his wife right.If her had felt that i was going over the edge he was perfectly capable of taking me to good qualified doctors for treatment and paying them .
so if at all the only source of  trouble to others  viz neigh or strangers could be only due to my blogs .

After that sound blasting treatment aided by rfid and gps and slyness , i thouroughly lost my confidence .Lost my ability to take decisions .Lost my peace of mind with  too many conflicting thoughts.Lost my clarity and focus in life.So what was done to me  and my hub [scaring him and weakening his heart]was not to set me and my family right  but was done to aggravate the situation as much as possible.
Pshychology + people cookers methods  was used and is still used to exploit me in a very cruel and animal like manner.To make me write .writing for not letting out my suppresed emotions which is a cure but on topics that are in no way connected to curing any ailment of my mind.will topics making headlines in papers and news  channels or write about symbols and animal  and bird cries  cure me emotionally?Isnt this artificial diversion from original grief even more repressive?
Before ge it was on humanitarian topics now it almost always on minorities ,just like the obsession of leading dailies and news channels,only i am giving converse views .
 The purpose was to keep a tight leash on me lest i influence and encourage strong rightists.ufr  and co clearly thought i was influencing them  through my writing on culture, hinduism and disliked me probably feared me . .Misplaced fears .Did any of those 10000's who voted several  strong rightists to power in ge ever read even a word of my writings so as to inspire them to make them rush to polling booths and cast thier vote to such leaders? joke So purpose not served.If they thought i was animal say a dog to be kept on tight leash haven't they turned out to be dogs who have barked up the wrong tree?
Now i scarcely read news papers or watch animated discussions  or even read mags or books or read in net  for fear of having to use glasses which are some how used to give additional secretions that fatigues me or on other hand also provoke me to write like the way i am doing now .Read a religious mag yesterday after lapse of several weeks .My electrical connections have several people controlling them so would be the cameras.
ok what purpose has been served by my writing about mino's ? And why am i writing without reading much about such topics? Must be due to interrogation through rfid .
These people/interrogaters/,brain washers  have messed up my life.in a sadistic manner.Messed it up more after ge and are continuing to mess it with a unholy glee..

 .


.

Re learning my life before.

Went for a walk yesterday in the morning.A thin short dirtily clad man walked towards north  on the main road whilst i was walking towards it facing east.Being a sunday not much traffic or people on the roads.Sensed some one behind me.Turned and saw a tall wiry man behind me.Felt he was decent and not a stalker or a person who would give me leaks etc ,So let him be
AS that thin man moved away from my sight in that turning ,this tall man crossed south east to a teastall .
A clean support .From whom?Was he giving me support from stalkers or satelite?Who are these dirtyily clad thin people smeared with soot and dirt all over?ok assuming that they are the enemy,just what are they capable of doing to me by merely crossing my way?
Too complicated to unravel.
Why was i deliberately weakened ? Why this support after that weakening me?
Meditated  yesterday.Surprise !No other sectarian or other  community  god intervened!Today also no other god came and went except my late father,brother and son  who came and went.I let it be. I stuck on and deliberately meditated on and on exactly at the period of  the time i was put with fear of death of close relatives  viz 10.30. to 11.30 am,which also took place when i was thus meditating on the days of their demise.The time when a  flight  or two goes overhead .
A  lot of traffic on the street outside since yesterday.
Have been thoroughly roughed up and messed up In my original normal pre 2012 days such chaps or any other stranger would have had no effect upon me.
Started hanging my laundry ,inner garments and all like petticoats, blouses ,bodice etc like the way i always did before on the clothesline hanging from my balcony.The mus watchman of the next flat who use to hang his wet pants,short and underwear deliberately to my view as i relaxed in my dining room that overlooks the the ground and first floor of next flat and used to eep on adjusting it from time to time , and used to often talk to our watchman when i stood in my balcony ,beat a hasty retreat on seeing my under garments on the line and  quit drying his clothes there..Now a Shakthi/amman calendar is placed on the ledge of the window next to that line  which has a  only a duster cloth hanging from it.Prefer it.
 So to get back to my normal life have to start living like before ,freely .Am re- learning it by shedding all the unwanted purdhas dumped over me for the past 5 years in general and very acutely since 2014 june,july ,august and september .                                                                                                                             As i wrote this in my diary ;  smelt acrid smell of fire ,burning something.Crows started to caw .A crow sitting on the electric transformer must have  got a shock or was given one and it has fallen  down dead.When i went to the balcony for better view a crow flew at me angrily several times.

Fall out of reverse nastying?

On my return from recent visit to bangalore a week or so back .noticed that upper floor resident's elder son had acquired a brand new Bullet motor cycle.
Acquisition of this expensive vehicle is a fad amongst the youth these days but i am seeing this purchase of this vehicle parked and also used  within my view sight from my balcony from my angle.
The sound of this vehicle doesnot cause queer sensations below my bowels or in my bowels unlike an ordinary motor bike.Have observed this fact much earlier .
So i had been conditioned  to get such sensations when a duo passes me .the older one in scooter followed by a younger one in motorbike.
The boisterous couple my long time neigh  who were very active in this sort of work before GE replaced the son's motorbike with a Bullet.son after the GE.
i often wonder as to how the spouses of the neighs and also the mother of sons who are all Vidat's age few years older or younger , allow or stomach  this dirty nasty work their husbands and sons are doing.Is it lure of easy money or livelihood?
I can't even imagine the reverse This is a very sick a method of control or subjugation or influencing a decent neigh's wife merely because she was blogging .So sick  and perverted with the total concentration  fixed on titilliation of my private parts and not on my knowledge that I had to force myself to do reverse nastying so that it could hit them where it should by making it public  viz their family  honour..Paying back in same coin by firmly brushing away the sense of decency and ethics  as no such decency or ethics or morals is shown to me .Since my body was abused to put me down i used the same tool viz my body and its abnormal reactions to various stimulai forced upon me and to which i have been unconsciously conditioned which i am discovering each day to put my abusers down by first observing and noting down which of my neigh affects  me in which  manner = sexually in no touch manner  and then try it out on them openly by standing on the balcony as they come in and go out or rush out to see and identify those causing queer sensations when i am in the house doing house work[ as these fellows usually leave immediately after their dirty work  which precedes or is synchronised with flights.as if to gloat over their victory over us ] and then by going public about it  by blogging it.


Read about human implant several times in net so as to understand the technicalities which is hard to grasp by mere browsing and then gleaned the following---
RFID which can be implanted in human beings ,responds to a identification number  and  starts answering questions put to it through radio signals .As per wikki such implants can be made on nerves but have no such known cases,Mine could have been implanted on my nerves for multi purpose use.and if so, i am living testimony of such  a case .and shining example of political repression which human rights people have been cautioning about  .
ok back to my discovery.As per net such readers --an mobile like device can be held by  a person anywhere within 2000 feet of the rfid and such persons need not see the target or be seen by the tagged /targetted person.
Since 2012 i have ben constantly writing reams of confessions  may be in response to this interrogation from a reader who may also ask for a opinion on a particular matter .In my case public affairs ,society ,ethics in politics and news making headlines. Two of which that put extraordinary pressure on me were
1.The formation of govt at Delhi after the fractured verdict==my view regarding the ethics of political support taken then.i withheld writing or blogging it  as i didn't want to poke my nose in politics
2.On the public 's view of a political leaders secretive ailment .this to i withheld from writing as  i felt that our country would gain materially if i did so .My contribution to general welfare.An fructification of my ambitions of my younger days.

I often see persons with mobiles looking at me and at it pointedly when ever i walk on the streets or stand in my balcony. from the road or even whilst eating out.

The road is scarcely few feet away from my flat , so is the temple and corner shop and tenements beyond

2. This human implant can be disabled by a password  which could be written into it or known to persons using the rfid-radio frequency identification.
Maybe the pass word to disable the interrogation that rfid tagged elements are subject to ,in my case could be the slokas and my japa.
After the GE of 2014 the bombardment of this  sort of interrogation became painfully unbearable .It had become24 hours /24
In those early months soon after GE ,the neraby temple which is more or less property of  local leaders of dmk.the other dravidian party and chief opponent started counting each hour loudly ominiously  and kept relaying advice in form of couplets from Thirukural .
An advise that was oft repeated was this--A son should not feed his hungry mother by stealing .
This was beamed whenever i felt sharp and stinging pains in my brain as i relaxed or took a nap

Who is this mother?Amma or annai or mother india?

I am the stolen property .no doubt about that.

May be the fear put in me very convincingly and easily after that month long jamming followed by month long liquidification that  i  was harming all sri vaishnavaites and in particular my family and friends
After reading about rfidand gps  and reader this is my latest view on this attempts to convert me to another religion or in lieu canbge my sect---viz
Fear  and revulsion was put in me by deliberately  nastying me with abnormal leaks when i am near temples or images of gods  and make it public ,could be to dissuade me from telling my simple prayer  which would disable the rfid .This disabling i guess is only temporary ,but it neverthless gave me some respite  and could reason out thing . 
Now the q is who would benifit from preventing me from getting some respite?                                                                                                                           a.     Persons greedy for my opinions and do not like to share thier illgotten gains ,which can be read on hand held readers  ,without my having to write it down could have prevented me from disabling it  and kept me so engaged by constant interrogation that i didn't have the energy and time to write or blog it         .,
b,Persons who donot like my views and therefore wanted to keep me in a confused state.Since a deep meditation would bring back my clarity and enable me to put two and two together
Fine how come i suddenly divined this aspect viz the password stuff?Yesterday i determined to tell my prayer and do japa till i got deep into myself .As i started the japa the name of another sect's god --Siva kept flitting into my jammed forehead .i let it do so and kept on repeating my usual japa for several 100 times  hoping that i ll get my clarity , no use  and then i wrote it down and then found a break and then what i read on net about rfid gave me the clue ,
Latest obs--The bullet fellows use mother and son combination .to provoke thoughts.There are 3 -4 such combinations in our flats itself .
Has kneading of mind replaced kneading of down under? is this combination effective on my hub also?
These people never give up in finding new combinations and ways to provoke me either physically or mentally.
S o the q is who is the puppeteer?Is this how ordinary citizens/or bloggers be so shabbily treated.?More or less like a work horse or a slave..Isn't this a blot on our democratic traditions? Aern't those who did this to me and still at it, ever think of such niceties  like democracy  as well as other concerns ?

Ok i have found out ,so will i be released from this nasty trap?

Those persons who did this to me that is implanting rfidand gps are a blot on this country .so are those who continue to use me .

yesterday night at 3 am a dog kept barking in south side --the enemy side .a bullet passed my bedroom window soon after.
So there is truth in a dirty scene enacted for me few months back to dissuade me from writing,blogging or going out.A female dog was mobbed by a pack of males .This pack barks at gypsies,tramps and ragpickers  walking down our street.
This means i am mobbed by several who know my id number and are adept in interrogating me ,the tramps also know but are not welcome .
what was created was a lustful scene which in reality is the lust these persons have for my views and processing abilities.What a pass!

Persons who are used to make me leak ,become heavy or light or cause pain in my knees are as follows
1.Muslims,christians and dark ,nearly black people to cause pain in my knees followed by constriction in knees.
2.Abnormaly thin persons to make me light and dizzy and make me fall down inside as well as outside house
3.Abnormally fat persons ,for leaks --in closed environs

4..handicapped persons specially those with one eye, or scar on face or limp
5.Dark young men in combination with spectacled men, to make me angry at weak and old without any cause .in closed environs .
A combination of sounds are also used to give me abnormal sensations and bowel  movements  like the combination of sound of speeding scooter and sound of  airpalne flying overhead.apart from deploying above persons sounds of vehicles ,electric saw,etc  in various volumes are constantly used to make a mess out of me.

Latest obs--For past 2 to 3 days the frequency of flights overhead going northwards from a take off in southern side  over my flat above my bedroom has increased .noticeably and audibly in day time.Vans or trucks turn or move in road just before i see the flight or see it .The sound of the movt of trucks and van is creating abnormal sensations in my private parts.This is also related to my position or rather the  position of my implanted tooth.