Friday, January 29, 2016

Photos of temple tank at Melkotoi.

Kalyani Pushkarni
Narsimhar temple on nearby hill top as viewed from the temple tank

Long shot of Narsimhar temple at Melkotai




A sculpture in a pillar in inner circumbulatory passage of Sri ChelluvaNarayanaswami temple


Photos of Chelluva Narayanswamy temple at Melkottai-- Karnataka

Sri Chelluva Nrayanaswamy Temple at MelkottoiAdd caption

 Sculpture of Mahalakshmi and a yogi in a unique yogasana in the outer wall of temple in right side around the sanctum
A two dimensional sculpture in a pillar in a mantap inside the temple Add caption

Sculptures  in a pillar in the inner circumbulatory passageAdd caption

Sculpture of Hanuman in inner circumbulatory passage of the temple

Sculpture of Siva  in a pillar in inner circumbulatory passage of the templeAdd caption

 Adjacent sculptures of Vishnu and Siva in the pillars in inner circumbulatory passage of the temple.
Sculpture of Sri Krishna in outer wall of the temple on left side around the sanctum

Two more photos of flower show 2016 held at lalbabh Bengaluru



Photos of flower show-January 2016 at Lalbagh gardens at Bengaluru











Friday, January 22, 2016

An silent companion's timely gift.

A streak of silver patch in the cloudy eastern sky signed in the presence of the karmayogi Aditya's presence .assuring  its steadfast role in the schceme of univerasl laws though masked by huge masses of gtreyish clouds
The leaves of the fig tree wafted in the wind with its accustomed individuality .shining radiantly in that small smear of  silvery light.
As i stood gazing at this marvellous sacred sight   a dash of pink caught my eyes,gladdening my heart,

Yes that rare flowering  tree had sent yet another pinkish magenta flower after the eralier blossom had withered away!

I have stood in this balcony on and off nearly every day for past 12-yeras  .12 years ! The longest i have ever stayed in one place this long in my entire life !
The  delicate boughs of this gentle tree decorated with deliciously pale green leaves  dipped up and down in the breeze.Were they acknowledging my presence?
A tree that was merely part of the background ignored and taken for granted  like any other plant growing near  the compound wall ,not realising that it was my silent companion  al this while ,noting my emotions,grasping them understanding them ,witness to various dramas in the family and now comforting me with its rare blossom.

written on 22.1.15

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

The gentle touch.

Stood at the open window of my room at the hospital ,after the drips, cathereter was removed early in the morning after a night of nightmares ,fever ,drop in pressure and some how lifting myself in the middle of trhe night out of the soft and too deep a bed  with help of duty nurse ,saying once from depth of my being the name of   my godly hero Rama  , the name that was always on my lips since childhood which i had been forbidden to utter few months back and had resolved not to owing to various fears put into me .Yet i did ,he was the the one and only crutch i needed then to hoist myself  get off that bed to go to the relieve myself.though nurses were in plenty to assist me as they failed to hoist me of that bed.
That road's speeding traffic sounds filled my ears for 2 whole days,even piercing my heavy sedation.
A tailless boxer or doberman with a collar but without a master was smelling and crossing that road and trotting along aimlessly.
The meaning struck me in full force and felt a fresh bout of pain shooting all around and up my raw abdomen
Brutality.Weren't  only criminal youths from slums in custody subject to such brutality?There is a exception to every rule or norm and i guess i am one such.
Staggered back to the bed and crawled on to it and slept. was woken up by a gentle touch.It was that diminutive young nurse, from  a small town or village as was obvious from the look of, her.She wanted to remove my plaster .She cautioned me of the pain and i braced myself to meet it willing myself to bear it and was awaiting the brisk swift professionalism of nurses who are genarllybursting with life and vigour and  have a back slapping attitude .
The touch was gentle ,apologetic and the plaster was peeled off,nay blown away without the tiniest prick of pain or discomfort.
She was young ,lively but didnot display briskness that charecterised other nurses attending on me  .nearly 5 or more.Whose actions would say ,your pain is nothing , come on get up and get going.whilst this girl either a novice or by nature  a very gentle person showed none of those briskness but utmost atention to doing her pain giving job of the moment as gently as possible.
Her gentle administrations  two small acts ,putting a injection  and taking off cathereter and plaster stuck to skin and hair was  a oasis of relief in that sea of pain.
As i watched this small young nurse  leavewith BP checking instrument and a bottle with thermometre  ,quietly with soft steps,with the rapidly darkening of theoutside sky silhouting her tiny frame ,hoped that she would never bury her solicitiousness to the pain of others  in the briskness she may acquire deep into her career
It is not all that have such a touch .But some one did .The image of lady with  a lamp flitted through my mind.One we have all read about without truly appreciating what her gentle administrations meant to scores o f  battle scarred men lying in heaps.Now i did.
I wasn't battle hurt or was i? The constant shadow boxing for past 3-4 yeras  made me feel battle weary and this major surgery i undertook to escape emotional and physical blackmail was a resultant wound.
Shooting pains ripped on and off whole day through as i lay on that bed and tried turning my mind away from it by thinking of others  like cancer patients who could be in more pain than i but it was the image of soldiers left to die in dark dormoteries ,crying in pain and then feeling relieved and hopeful at the touch of that lady that kept coming to my mind.May be being a victim of this shadowy war against me i could identify and experience their pain as well as the relief felt by a touch that recognised , understood and respected that pain.

Did i under go this surgery to realise the importance of the healing touch?No.But a true life story read in school days has actually danced before me in shadow and light.

written on ---9.12.14  1.30pm

A scoop of water.

The gentle breeze ,cool to touch, as yet to be warmed by the weak wintry sun of early morning ,parted the fragile boughs of the tree and revealed a single pinkish magenta coloured flower.
Few days back on my return from the  major surgery i underwent  in a hospital, noticed that the leaves of this tree planted in the narrow strip of land bordering the parking lot ,more than a decade back ,which were normally ever green  had turned yellow.Some of which had slipped and fluttered down.
why was this tree ageing all of a sudden? Pondered over it .Was it the result or reaction to the water i had thrown at it carelessly after watering my newly acquired potted plants, just before i went into that surgery?
Did that scoop of water ,thrown at it so as to empty that bucket of water, hurt and age that tree which was nearly 13 -14 years old?
The magenta flower peeped out taking  me by surprise , a pleasant and thrilling one.I had observed that this plant flowered just once in 6 years .It had flowered in Dec 2007 and later in  end of 2013 .Just  a single flower and had therefore assumed that its next flower would be in 2018.
That careless fling had neither aged this old warrior that had weathered many a storms and many a cuts and near body blows of axes and scythes.But had encouraged it to shed its old troussea and diffidence and had prepared it for a another fresh renewal.
The tree a living thing was thirsting for its mistress tiniest care , smallest recognition  of its existence ,to burst forth in life.
It was rain fed for decades like all grown trees after its  initial nurturing as a sapling  by me watering it regularily till it became a tree.That tiny scoop of water that was not originally intended for it but just a after thought was all that it needed to tingle it into life and hope in sheer gratitude!

Can anyone say  that plants and trees do not feel and crave for human touch,specially those planted by human hands?
The blooming of that pinkish magenta flower  as i sat watching  the tree sway in gentle breeze trying to forget my pain showed that i healed it and it was healing me now.
A silent treat .Some one some where sent me that flower stroking away the pain , sharing and understanding the pain and trying to cheer me out of it.
To ease me out as i felt totally short changed
What more can i ask for?Who else can stroke away pain,emotional,physical  ,pshychological,economical,than one who really cares?
Some one does.some one unbound .some one unaffected but only amused by vagaries and magnitude of human ego.Some one who knows and cares.

written on --9.12.14--12.30pm

Immeasurable awe

The insipid dull cement coloured blob of cloud in Eastern sky as insignificant as other blobs layering the sky masking its pale blue colouring ,suddenly in a  unnoticeable moment, bordered itself with orange red flame g as a shining and bright but pleasant   torch rose from its middle heralding the arrival of the celestial being
In a instant the golden torch spluttered down to a silvern one  ,and eclipsed by its glaze as the lights swirled within the bright disc.Still viewable, though with the rider that it was set to become fiercer as minutes tick by in yet another marking of its passage over lives below.
Boring down,laying open the harsh realities  after that initial alluring romance that twinkled away erasing along with it the memory of those moments of immeasurable awe! 

written on 19.12.14---7.35.am

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Reverse nastying 19.1.16

Vidat's photo's were blackened .The blog site he created for his mother was made out of bounds for her to use as per her will and  blog her balanced views and his memory systematically wiped out lest it stir emotions  and thus outbursts spilling over the blogs.
Bore it all and shrunk and shrivelled in the shame at the way i was forced out of it by making me discharge abnormally at front of neighbours, vendors, drivers, milk,paper , gas delivery boys and in  total strangers presence.
Stayed put in a place attacked by myriad of confusions  and pondering at the reasons behind this constant abuse of my body which was leaking like a tap or scratching  at all the.wrong places at wrong times thinking it was all over for me .The periodic temple announcements synchronisation of puja bells with either my or my husbands urge to go to loo during or after his i hour  morning puja added to this bewilderment. .Shrank further losing confidence in me at this loud broadcast of my lustful nature from nearby temple as well as from neigh ringing their puja bells  as if commemorating a girl coming of age.
after going through earlier dairies in order to edit them my memories revived .I have a longer married life than those tinkling their bells and am  a mother of sons older than those sons of neighbours  ,vendors etc who are being  used to make me discharge!
This gave me back my confidence.
I have no idea about the identity of those who stalk me on streets,total strangers but definitely do about those who are around me in these flats ,hence decided why not use the strange secretions in my body of late to nasty the ones who are doing it to me?
After all every one has some basic decency specially if it comes to their families ,so why not try this out and pay them back?
I have either been configured  by constantly using flights, motor bikes and auto's screeching sounds  ,maybe for past several years to react thus as is stated in people's cookers com or uv' are being used or both are being done.There is no doubt that ingress and exit of minority neigh from my and adjoining flat is just before a flight.
Aren't the parents and son's who participated in this getting it back?

If this is not karma  that to instant karma then what is it?

In a flight of imagination i am something like those suicide bombers ,in reverse and older,but capable of shaming younger Muslims by my mere presence..Maybe the perverted brain that conceived this configuration in me was thinking he was taming me and teaching me to be nice to mino's and when i caught on it has clearly backfired and that person has nastied our entire country by foisting such a  forcible compliance.on me and given it a bad name .

OK what if i go and stand outside a mosque  over which  flights go and stand in a particular direction just before they enter it for their prayers and if my knee starts throbbing then many a men would be entering their place of worship with  a soiled mind  as they would be causing such throbbing that some associate with excess libido whether they know it or not .definitely the person who did it to me would and he cannot hide behind the shield that he did this to me in interest of mino's .                                    So far i have tested the effect on mino's as it is very obvious.It has been indicated to me that even Amman bhakts +christians are into this If so i can stand outside a famous  Amman temple [the temple nearby i sparsely attended]  or a church again in a  particular direction and  if i get any pricking sensation down below ,it means they caused it whilst entering a place of worship with soiled minds of men though without their knowledge but the person who is advocating so much sectarianism would be shamed .
There is petty shop owned by a christian right opposite to my bedroom which crows often target,.Till today[21.1.16] this connection totally escaped my attention  i l 'maintain a log of how  i nastied this owner in 4o's as he must have been nastying me or used in this dirty business and then come and blog it.
                                  What ever has been done to me ,is not my fault so why should i cower in fear or hide in shame when i feel the urge to go to loo  when these neigh's sons ride in? the parents and sons who pitched will get it .Instant karma.So from 14 th onwards i experimented with this and maintained  a log.

How did i get this sudden enlightenment about something that must have been going on since my blogging days.Maybe It was the September liquefying operation conducted on me made the shady things ,exploitation and control going on me for years made it a bit more transparent but disabled me by making me feel revolted at myself Note ,.though not blogging i was writing diary and it was used as freely as before .
It was reading my past diaries that revived my memories of my long ,free life and infused me with strength to break away from this unwanted purdah  thrown over me by scaring me .by people taking total control of my house,surroundings and life .Am sure that if not for that implant in my teeth  coupled with absolute control over my  house ,and our movements i could never have been so dirtily manipulated .
What business have these men in another man's household?Would they tolerate such a thing happening in theirs?  .
This is my log--  14.1.16
Log of  people who were nastied by  my body functions===
Time --6.30.pm
persons --two bearded youths racing down on mo bike south wards on street
How were they nastied .Made a 58 year old with fake libido by uv's etc get the urge to leak instead of attracting women of their age ,shows their impotency and incapacity to attract young girls.

16.1.16----playing with fire  on  Festival day
Log of methods employed to nasty my hub an ordinary Hindu but  a religious person.

6.45am--when i bent northwards to make my bed all of a sudden 'Allah flitted across my forehead !
Heard flight in east.
7.15 am --Deliberately bent northwards as flight overhead .No words flitted only a slight crinkling of forehead Maybe if i wasn't on guard it could have flitted across
8.03 am Heard fli in east.. Bent westwards ,nothing.hub left soon ufr left.so ufr is the culprit.Those who know who he is will know the actual mischief maker.
8.19.Ufr came back.i deliberately stood in balcony and felt a tingle in genitals .Had the pleasure of nastying this person with his own weapons.can he show his face after my public  blogging about this supposedly private shaming which he would be hoping i will never dare divulge?what about his wife and sons?How can they find matrimonial alliances?

Have stopped taking bags with god's pictures ,the candy offered to me to stave off predators on the streets.Its usage makes me secrete more  but at times arrests my speedy flights !So i am made to nasty our gods in those minds that are using them for such purposes and not in mine ,as this is a new phenomenon .I have carried umpteen number of such bags earlier specially after visiting marriages and nothing like this ever happened to me So why should i feel  responsible for others dirty minds?
10.38am Felt urge to wipe eyes  soon after bath the way mino's do on tv whilst praying.hub in puja.
10.55.am --Scratching sensation in left auriole .hub  cutting fruits to offer  to bhagwan.

18.1.16

A lot of such urges --to visit loo and scratches up and down in morning.specially during hubs puja.
3.52.pm --Was cleaning balcony, hub reading ,ufr came down ,wanted to test and also shame him turned and faced north  the parking place.As he turned in his scooter towards me felt slight throb in my left   knee cap.
5.15.pm Nearly fell on main road returning from xerox with my shoulder  bagful of my translations of aazwars hymns.saw a dirty striped person on a dirty scooter  behind me .Garbage bin on my left.

19.1.16--
8.50 pm
Standing in balcony watching street.for quarry.
A neigh parked his car in next flat but didn't get off.for full 10 minutes.felt tension arise in me and knew it would leave if i went in or changed my position .but as i wanted a quarry and smelt one as i was being forced to feel un comfortable  i stuck on in same position with renewed determination ,looking north .
Sighted one a topee in dhoti walking into our flat .Have seen him before probably friend of neighs.turned and faced him wanting to guage his effect on me.He walked away and that neigh don't know which community he belongs got off his car and i suddenly felt free of tension .So came in found stickiness like that which comes on my eyelids ,down below.
Is it effect of topee who could be involved in this or is it uvs from that car or from so many electrical fittings around me?The person in car was watching a mobile ,many do with me around,is it GPS , mine?
Does that respectable looking person in topee know the effect he has on me?Some one else's wife?How do my neigh's feel about their effect on me ,another man's wife, a long standing unsuspecting neigh of theirs , down under or in my knees?How are they able to meet his eyes after doing such base stuff to his wife and to him whilst doing his puja ?How do their wives and sons and family feel at this sex racket?is this the done thing and very normal in their circles?
9.45 pm --expected fli time 9 50  as per my earlier log of flights as this is   definitely connected to flights. .So stood in balcony to see my test and nastying through.
A youth came in  walking slowly lost i thoughts--Hindu --neigh; son no effect .A van backed and a car parked in opposite side viz tenements.Suddenly felt pain i knee cap throbbing pain .looked up saw neigh's --mus  nephew walk into flats briskly,So he caused it? He was followed by a older neigh nothing then.Heard fli overhead after older neigh crossed me and went down  .Is this the theme older and younger?like father and son ?
As i was noting this heard boisterous vibuthee neigh .s voice .was he warning about a fli or satellite ,suddenly felt angry specially at hub for talking on phone and interrupting my analysis.rushed out saw a red car of mus pkd in next flat.Heard fli .
By drawing red lines on certain words as i blog it was hinted that vibuthees provoke me.so whilst Hindus provoke me to anger and make me write on and on mus punish me with knee pain and of late  secretions in pvt parts to embarrass,shame me  and blank me out mentally.May be both are involved in this blanking out .

20.1.16

Decided to forgo walk for  reverse nastying.

Saw a Hindu auto driver.He is used to give scratches but not today,

8 am Standing at balcony for domestic chore forgetting my aim .Knee started to throb slightly  saw the occupant of a red car in next flat get off .other community.some activity in street,usual backing vans etc.was still drying clothes knee started to pain severely  ,Saw a youth --stranger walk into our flat briskly north --west fli at 8,01,am so duo caused it .                                                                                                      As per me both have nastied themselves by causing throbbing pain in me.


Arrived at following conclusion

Some body is clearly using both Hindus and Muslims to provoke, irritate and instigate me so that i may write in jumbled up fury ,but the power to punish is given only to Muslims ,that is  to give me nasty and dirty punishments.
Such persons see Hindus as crows whilst even the dirtiest Muslim as a koel !This i observed as per the alerts i get from birds and animals

30.10.14--8 pm ordeal

My dear diary,
                      Visited coir board to buy mats .Thje shops entrance was overflowing with sewage water leaking from a neraby drain .I crossed it gingerly by taking a detour and purcahsed th edoor mats.
This moat like sewage set me thinking on the indignities i suffered in September.
1. Lost a lot of liquid constantly for 3 weeks or more that resulted in my artery in my neck to tick painfully.
If not to nasty me for calling political leaders names in my diary what for would i be subject to this  treatment ?Must be th eresult of overdose of hormonal replacement therapy that menopaused women are given abroad.[read it somewhere] to recapture their health and emotions.

2.alarmed at the pain ,visited a clinic for ecg .This was done in full glare of bright lights  and was made to lie on a table totally exposing my chest and the lady assistant kept kneading my body  like masseuer which was totally unnecessary whilst sticking the labels ,She was doing this deliberately in a clinic bearing the name of one of the trimoorthy's --siva.

3.When i next visited appolo clinic  for ultra sonic reading of  my uterus for finding tumours which could have aggravated this discharge ,the female assistant was more bent on showing  a huge thick plastic stick with a scary rotating vibrator at its head and shoving it inside me and then rotating it  than actually doing her regular examination.
4.Vehicles kept zooming up and down thestreet outside my bedroom which is normally quiet  day and night ,with ambulances scary sirens screeching up and down  like as if i was in the last leg of my life .
5.As i write this the noise of traffic that was heard for past 3 days has suddenly stopped.
6.When i went to check my eyes ,the doc a nice guy from   memory of past visits to his clinic ,deliberately let his fingers linger on my chest cheeks and so did his male assistant.[maybe uv's made him do this]
7.The dentist i visited to remove the cap on my molars which i guess emit signals  when my jaws move whilst thinking ,which can be heard by gadgets  to keep me under leash or to have an advance warning or info as th what i will  do or write ,the doc advised me that if he took it out only small tooth will survive but big will go.Remember i had already been scared that the life of my hub and son was in my hands .So innuendo? He refused to remove it even when i asked him to go ahead and remove the cap  as i had got fed up of these sick inneundos ,like link between us all and transformers  in my flat etc and had decided to take the plunge.and get rid of that device.

8. In those weeks of excessive discharges out of my body i was constantly threatened with following
a.My family members will lose thier lives if i write , blog or read newspapers or watch tv and i don't change my lifestyle to that of a typical Brahmin house wife.
b.That marriage of my son and other happy occasions ,visits etc will never take place  unless i reform.
c.have good and pure sacchirine sweet  thoughts
d.Should never operate the computer or read the net articles.
e,Should never wear specs and should go about like a half blind person as specs would be used to   make me leak and leak so much that i would have to start using napkins or diapers  and panties,
f. Even in my house ,the place where i am most of the time i shouldn't expose even an inch of my body though the only visible occupant is my husband.
9.And yes the sattelite surveilliyence-The following tales were put in my head,
a.A sectarian war between vaishnavaites and saivaites had broken very long ,since when my hubbecame full fledged vaishnavaite and relegated amman /shakthiworship to the background.10 yeras back!
b.That some foreign power was controlling me, us for the past 10 yeras due to our faith in srivaishnavism as vishnu /narayana has 2 -3 wives , not liked by christians but not disliked by muslims. T
hat christians like saivaites becuase siva has only one wife!
c.That i was under religious surveilliyance since i started blogging on hinduism on the net from 2010,that is for nearly 4 years!
d.And that this foreign power was needling and provoking me to write in such a  pshychological manner with a view to de stabilise our country or create confusion and hence i must stop blogging
e. Also politics.My calling names after venting my frustration at my prolonged  captive status an illegal detention or illegal house arrest was not liked by cadres who wwere bent on nastying me .nor do they like me writing un flattering observations about civic amenities  and on  social flaws  and were wary that i may do so and hence are shaming me by attacking my private parts so as to scare me  and prevent me from writing.
that is not only should i stop blogging but also not write my diary and i dare defy ,i had it.

I am writing all this now because all this has subsided to a certain extent  enabling me to think it over.
g.That i must curtail my puja ,meditation ,visits to temples and stop readaing articles ,slokas and hymns on Srivaishnavism and should keep my daily puja very brief preferably  limit it to repeating Asato ma sadgamaya tamaso ma jyotir gamaya 'and nothing more .
h.That my japa on my bhagwan narayana  and his avatar rama has  caused too many mishaps ,deaths in my family and also to all sri vaishnavaites and by writing rama's name i have caused loss to rss,hence i must stop all this normal puja of mine or the satellite will hunt me down and make me crazy.
i.That both ,viz this foreign power as well as politicians within are out to get me  and that i must spend this shortened life , shortened due to murderous rage over me  of many who consider me to be too lustful, full of vice, jealous , full of wicked thoughts an irresponsible parent and a  unfaithful and revolting spouse ,in short a fallen woman,and that i have to spend the remaining part of my very sinful lust filled avaracious  life which is not  a penny worth to any one ,in constant prayers as only god can help me.
j.have to keep away from politics ,public affairs  by --
not watching tv,
read newspapers,
not even talk about my views in my house.
convert myself into ill informed and ignorant house wife  ,to survive this onslaught from various quarters
h.That i have such a extraordinary influence on Judiciary that my merely expressing my views  on high profile political cases in my room or even do japas on crucila days  i can influence trh eruling to go either this or that way!Literally th efuture of some politicians is in my hands!
I have been made to believe all this in my brain cleaving days followed by liquid squeezing days .that whole india , not only india whole world is revolving around me!
31.10.14--6.12.am
That in case i seek constitutional remedy through court like seeking right to privacy under art 21, and property   there is every possibility of the switch that controls my nerves will be pulled and one half of me will be paralysed for good and for the sake of common good i must swallow my shame, disgust at being so closely monitered ,watched and co operate with this intrusive control and lead a robot like life and ward of the enemy --a powerful foreign country.That  i should be like a soldier!

my view----I do believe that a foreign satelitte  is keeping track of me and the media is interested in my deep thoughts,views etc,which is not liked by political powers of this country  present and previous.as all this furore  around my blogging caught my attention in  2012 .
Only, i rubbed th epresent powers on wrong side very early and being told nastily to behave and fall in line.

 Why am i acqusing?
1.Threat to family
2.Promise and hope that this surveyillence  by national,international and state could be taken off and my normal life restored .
7 pm--
The clock in nearby temple chimed 7 instead of  asmall boy advising heard a song in prise of Ganaathy bapa  which stopped 3/4 th of th eway.
Then heard a puppy screech in pain .Heard such a screech of puppy yesterday also ,at intervals

.  

Sound of rain----23.10.14

The leaves thirsting for life singe softly at the dousing of the tiny fires  in each of its membrane ,as its hunger for life is given a fresh lease ,in a symbolic manner ,as it also gives form and expression to the sound carried by each droplet in its cycle allowing it to be emitted and echoed  ,by the  leaves.
Deep within is  a sound  of sawing ,the mercilessness of time.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Examining causes behind my conversion attempts.

Why was i suddenly pounced upon  in September 2014 to change my religion and when i refused to do so pressure  is exerted ever since to change my sect?

1.Was it because i called two very powerful leaders at centre and state names in my diary ,my personal diary , fed up with constant restraints on my freedom since 2012 ,though i didn't blog that diary page which had those names and bring it on actual public domain ,my blog site?
I have been calling my faceless harasser's names  like pervert on my blogs itself from much before ,so how did this sting ? So this is dicey.

2.Was it to remove any aura around me ,specially in the eyes of rightists viewers, the temple builders?That a person sharing experiences of Hinduism has been converted by mere pshycological warfare and tactics ?
They are actual performers ,so why would my writings without any corresponding activism raise my respect in their eyes? .Nobody  from that side came forward to hold my hand in sympathy or protest the open conversion attempts. which would have been done had i been so popular and respected.amongst them .
so this also dicey.

3.There is a implant in my teeth .deep within .So fixed horribly for life.I have a feeling all this constant attempts to convert me or make me change my sect is actually to do with this fixture in my denture.
Maybe the password  to this animal control are the names of the deities occurring in my daily prayer and in my japa.and in the  practise of writing columns of Rama's name  daily .
And this took place in 2011 September..Whenever i used think of  this  password or software which could be  written in  the control of my implant i used to get furious at the scant regard shown to my religious beliefs that to being a Hindu in a country,the only country  where it is has risen and is being   practised .continuously from time immemorial.and the fact that whilst my ancestors kept their religious belief intact despite  so many invasions i am being so shamelessly,brutally being treated like a animal in these modern democratic times.

4.This implant was done before GE .Maybe to control me by both the state as well as central govts.and maybe after the unexpected  tsunami at centre , maybe seculars closed ranks  and decided that my services [maybe international journo's read my blogs]should not be used by new master at the centre and therefore enacted this conversion /sect change and my jibes against the leader in here would have added ammunition to the process of liberalising me  started way back in 2011 so as  to culminate in its proper end viz change over to other humane ,rational ,compassionate religions.
That is if i stop my daily recitation of Hindu deities as would be the case in conversion with either Allah or parampita taking its place then my password  or software cannot be activated.and thus prevent thier rivals at centre from taking control over me and my writings specially for foreign audiences in the manner in which i was used pretty often by last regime .Let me note here that my writings were also used by all parties ,for speeches,ideas  etc .so no one is holier than the other.
i also decided not to write after GE as i got fed up of this  constant vomiting  on pages upon pages without writing something really good and substantial ,the way i am again doing now after my prayer .

Why sect change? same reason .i will not repeat my deities name but other sects deities and thus not trigger the software.

5.Another view.What if my software etc has been cloned and i am also being used by enemies of the state?Then i become a security issue and easiest way out would be to convert me or aid or turn blind to those waiting to convert me.In this even centre could be involved.Would any one believe this?Riding on Hindu wave and then aid conversion to another religion, as the easiest way out. ?
OK if that is the case no authority came forward to tell me that  i had become a security issue.So dicey
Or is it that they were confident in tackling me after jamming my head, and then scare me out of this public platform  by squeezing liquids out of me and still doing it.                                                                              , Going by people cooker com my case fits exactly into what he has listed as the techniques employed to stop targeted people.
Conclusion --Since my directions are known to so many people deployed to stalk me even when i have no mobile or purse on me makes me feel sure that GPS or some such thing is in my tooth and have been fixed horribly ,inhumanly for life by my own dear compatriots .
By filing defamation cases against me and keeping me busy in courts or even  filing a fir and throwing me into jail  or blocking my blogs on net with 404  would have been the right and sufficient  .                                    Trying to stop me by sly and sick in human  methods in the first instance has clearly boomeranged. As  i could be a security issue . Every one had a finger in the pie ,speeches,ideas etc as no one raised their voice against this  .                                  
Irony is that apart from this inhuman intrusion i am constantly punished for expressing my views on public affairs and for attempting to unravel the sly networks around me.


The question may arise on viewers reading  my analysis as to why i didnt aproach a dentist to remove the casing and thus remove the offending fixture within .
First i didnt know that a gps could have been implanted in my teeth till 2014 , i apealed on this site to tell me as to was being done to me .one morning i went to the beach  to see the immense sea  and chase away the blues and also to  have a along walk in the sands,unhindred by traffic on way back took an auto .He looked left and right quite pointedly. though he had no occasion to do so,Again in another outing the auto driver did the same .He was looking at girls and women and  dirt and garbage on the other.He too was a looking from left to right  but his focus on these two diverted my .focus. it was much later somehow all of  a sudden i realised that may be a device to show directions was with me. and even much later that such a device could be within myself that is in my body .And then i surfaced the net and got the info 'about animal/ human implant and then  i realised that even without cameras my position could be pinpointed,and i cast   my mind on the surgeries i underwent in past and the only one was that rootcanal surgery in 2011.

As next step went to a dentist who refused to remove the cap on my tooth saying mischievously that if he did it would harm both the small and big teeth within thus putting fear very easily into my mind weakened and still weak by constant uv attacks and i dropped the idea of removing the cap thinking that the implant is embedded too deep probably on a nerve, so deep that its removal would either be life threatening or  immobilise/paralyse  me.

Don't know the truth  and if i approach a court with what evidence will i ask for a court supervised medical advise?How and why should they believe my petition .Won't it appear fantastic and too farfetched?

Have i been diverted from this very basic demand and request of mine to restore my freedom of movment  by  diverting my attention away from it and make me focus solely on this charade of conversion , and bogey of sectarianism ?

Why should i be held like a dog on leash? If this is doing of politicians don't they have the confidence in me  or the confidence  to deal with what ever is the outcome of my writings? Isn't my writing the crux of the matter?
How can they call themselves leaders when they have millions votes/trust in their finger tips but fear the writings or blogs of a solitary non entity like me? In fact the more i am treated in this animal like fashion more would i be gathering sympathy and even fame.An fame  that could be exploited by those who maynot be in the least bothered about me or the leaders involved in this to detriment to one or both,

So why can't the authorities reading this or knowing about all this very well, remove this  inhuman implant in my teeth  and free me?
Should i teach the cookers the ways to get me admitted in a hospital ?All that they need to do is use the uv's cause pain and make me visit a Dentist or some other doctor and remove this.Since it is not being done it shows lack of concern  and will.

Osho's lines come to my mind all of a sudden.We fear  politicians because they have the power to kill.

In all my life i have felt  very free to move around .No prohibition to speaking my mind in my house or amongst friends  on any matter  , so had full freedom  of expression  i never ever had the occasion to question the privacy  my house, or rooms in hotels and always felt that  my thoughts are for myself  and never questioned this either.All this changed in  2012 when each of my rights ,i didn't even think of them as rights just a part and parcel of  my life like all those people around me do,was demolished and the statusquo remains 'It is nearly 4 years ,hence ..                                                                                                                         I am being made to crib like those leftisits who are forever finding shackles to freedom [though none of them would have a gps in thier skin] and  faults in the system .Why is it being allowed?

After celeberating Pongal by cooking sweet pongal  today viz15.1.16 saw a video of  a presentation on Sanskrit and science in which it mention sthe relation between reciting sanskrit slokas or silent japa as is done in meditation to creativity .It says such japa ehhances coherence io the right side of the barain which is the seat for creativity whilst writing triggers the left which deals with rationaland logical thinking.

To me in  June 2014 it was shown that my japa will bring death in my family-ailing b.i.l and  later bub whose death took place exactly at the time of my meditation  and my writing of ramanama is also not welcome but degree of punishment for the latter  is lesser.
so this also means that those fearing my creative thoughts and  writings  which they may have been linked to my  meditation in form of japa which i was continuing to so  even  after closing of all other avenues of meditation   available to me like watching stars or sunrise and sun set and long morning walks in cool and peaceful sorroundings  by constantly distracting me by vigorous activities of neigh and strangers since 2012 ,decided to stop this as well.in 2014.

I have written quite a few  pieces  in this long gap away from net and ordinary and  normal life .Will blog them later.



Tuesday, January 12, 2016

10 rs balm.

In margazhi month instead of blogging some  auspicious slokas and their meanings i am forced to come on net to blog sick stuff .

Have to as i received two warnings which i cant ignore,

First at 7,40am today 13.1.16 and another at 8.20 am.
At 7.40 a vendor went selling 10rs balm loudly.--means danger of physical attack on us.
At 8.20 am a vendor went around selling herbal powder to cure tooth ache and left only when i noted it down in the book i have been noting down the timings of on and off noise made by my fridge  in a book since yesterday afternoon to understand the meaning  or alert behind  such sounds switched audibly ,not very loudly ,on and off whole day.
Did this so as to find out the correct time for my puja without blanking out or getting irritated ,Would anyone in india be caught in such a situation? When to pray and when not to pray.What a dilema?Laughable if i wasn't actually caught in such a vicious trap .But i am ,in every aspect of my very ordinary life of late ,specially after that through jammingof my head in june 2014 followed by making me swim in my own liquid for  a month in sept .When to dress when not to dress ,when to read or watch tv and when not to without those mind blanking leaks.Dropped them all but this ,i wanted to without any intrusion in to my actual self.
Saw a news item on cnn few days back.A pastor is in jail for decades in N.Korea for activism  not liked by aetheist govt but he says he is facing the term calmly because he prays nearly whole .Was stunned at this news.isnt n.korea a totalitarian ,dictatorship?Yet this person a criminal according to them is given the freedom to pray which i am not having!.And i had blogged about this few days back that is even a criminal will have the privacy to pray.and i donot!
 Will write the relevant portion of my notings which could have caused the warnings to be given.

Wednesday--13.1.16.

Fridge sound on -6.15-23 .Was drinking coffee in balcony .Nice and cool in morning and sky with a dash of red in east.was facing east.Saw a old woman in dirty sari.Dogs were barking at her.Heard as i came in soon after..Moderate sound. flight
6-.20,am --Heard flight in east very loud .felt sticky.was feeling so whole day yesterday.wanted to sleep on and on but got up so as to note down the on and off sounds to see it out.As i have the house to myself  so no other diversions ,but the balm fellow has done it .
If so much liquid is squeezed out of me at this age 58 won't i drop dead soon?Hips and abdomen are hurting with pain.Probably to get rid off me is the intention.
sound off -6.23-6.39 --Went to put Kolam ,next door neigh without her specs was putting ,deliberately waiting for me to .i didnt ,came in .[let her put it will do so later.]Heaad flight.fridge on .

off --6.47--6.59--
This excessive libido i am supposed to have is a myth .This sticky feeling is only in confined places ,with lights,cameras and uv's.I feel dry in open spaces with many a specs hovering about me or motor bikes auto;s whizzing by.Outside i feel scratches and sudden vaccuming of the back of my head that makes me too light and dizzy.
similarily when children were used in sept that is their mothers asking their small sons to stare at me no stickiness was felt ,even in confined spaces.it was to propagate the myth that a woman as old as that boys grand mother was so full of lust that she would become sticky .
I felt anger at such women as well as those in my flat who know very well that thier sons are being used in this dirty game. in my flats Youthful sons of neigh of nearly all are used in linking my sensations in my genitials with their presence Are my neigh really parents to allow their sons to  be used in this despicable manner?Don't they cringe in shame ?  I would had i been in their position.Are they being paid back in a twist of fate?Same set before ge and same now except i can find the links with such youngsters and even men--neigh as i am made to leak,blank out in their presence  .Thinking that they are nastying me they are nastying themselves ,if all this is done deliberately with their full knowledge and consent.

i deliberately stood on balcony day before ,whole evening, whenever such volunteers passed hoping to feel sticky so that i can crow within myself for nastying such men who have wives, daughters and sons and sons who have parents.wanted to return their crowing over the vulgardiscomfort caused to me in their presence.Felt nicely satisfied .

off--7.06am -7.22am fli at 7.21.overheard loudly in balcony.A dirty thin young lungi was watching me from open spaces,which my both upper floor neigh can also see.Maybe hearing cleared deliberately to link it with the sexy presence of dirty lungi.That  only low down lungi's will sharpen my senses /sensuality.can see through it all .
off --7.24-7.40
Am hearing 10rs balm .Warning.
off 7.50--8.04
heard flight loudly south to south eastfrom balcony.saw a driver parking his car .so he is the enhancer of my senses!paid i suppose for this job.
Again heard fli loudly in west. as another bearded thin lungi walked up and down the road. S o these are the fellows who are supposed to make me ooze in pleasant nothings ,stir poetry in me , and blank my brains  out and keep me in vaccuos stupidity and keep me in the newly married state of blissful sex and love!.A real baby is yet to be born out of such oozings and no touch torture.Sick minds.

on--8.01 -.11
off --8.11--
Mus neigh drove in to next flat,saw from balcony .one with specs other without.just when sound went off.felt scratching .Naturally uv.
8.20--Vendor selling tooth powder ---this was when i had to abandon my watch and come to tweet and blog ,now it is 10 10 am ,have missed quite  lot of on' and off. to find a pattern ,ofcourse the sounds can be swithched on and off at will and confuse me further yet sticking to it as it is related to flights as well which cannot be so easily manipulated ..so could be wrong when i said flight diverted in fgn tour ,only i would have been made to hear it like i am being made now.on and of.

Just now a newspaper man came with bill for the month ,flight also heard then.
1.09 pm===
Took a break from notings of sounds,scooters and flights and satelites as i had to take my bath,cook and so on .
Threw all my careful notings analysis to winds and did my usual puja saying to my nastiers go to hell.make me leak or light weight or make others gods name flit across my forehead and make me wipe my eyes when i face west or bend ,make me angry or sad .noted that in on  sound on fridge time my japa made me angry and off time it did'nt   , make cars back and neigh burst out talking ,i am going to do what i always did.
i am hardly aware of directions but if i am supposed to then even i can nasty back with my body.and its forcible secretions.i can even name all those  neighbours who are constantly making me leak in their or their son;s presence or all those women  and their daughters who are deployed to case/entice my hub in this ongoing dirty business.  .
i have already come on public platform with all intimate details about the way i am being made to leak and be always be fully engaged in this sexual orgy.  I am not at fault hence have no shame or guilt about all these.nothing to lose but these youngsters as well other decent neigh 's taking part in this,some of them lustily do. specially in their social or official circles.The dirty lungi;s wouldn't care as long as they are paid but my flat mates would.whether paid or not, to do all this to me and my family.and also those who visit us.

i am holding back because i cannot believe that any of my neighbours would actually stoop so low.Aer'nt we all clean middleclass people ,very bothered about our name and standing in society.how so ever small that  name may appear to  others?

Since i feel that such a operation as is being done on us is at  a behest of a puppeteer monied or politically powerful ,it is the puppeteer who should be named and i don't know as to who that  is .

Yesterday my hub rang up from tirupati only after i said my usual prayer  on lakshmi that  mentions siva .said prayer at 1 pm and he rang up immediately as if a coin clicked.Did it? Was sectarianism carrying too far so as to confuse and deter me.Was wondering ,how did he call only then ? Is it a software ?If so such things didn't happen before Ge.at the most gps will give  direction will it command action? So reasoned that some one near him with this uv gadget would have squeezed his brain to make act that is give me a call, so as to  convince me  of this charade of sectarianism .Maybe his brains are also constantly worked upon,

 So thought today due to my jammed forehead people with uv's are capable of making me feel angry or sad or happy.if they are determined to make me feel so at any time ,often see babies made to cry loudly when i visit clinics and guessed the use of these uv's on them .Noted that  kids,from other minor communities were exempt from this rude treatment .
So how much ever carefully i may note timings of sound of fridge or flights  or interpret crows [uv eed one's] sudden fright at sound of backing of cars --chup chup  to mean a dreaded sattelite by them  in vicinity , and my position  that is my face ,twist and turn it to find out which direction will cause my leaks or prevent it  with its implanted gps in my upper molar with casers on a strategic spot on the road or open ground and analyse  which of my japa is whose pass word  ,[if at all it is to gain control over me , maybe seculars or earlier regime or even all parties ,who knew of this and made  use of me to write on one hand and the  new dispensation on the other,] try and snatch a time for myself. it maynot and is not given to me in the confines of my house.  Remember that in 2012 the constant sounds etc was stopped when i did my puja.was allowed to do it.nor was there all this crazy conversion and sectarianism attempts.All this has crept in i guess after i called a leader pervert  in my diary . and probably all this is by loyalists to show that i am the pervert.No problem does it matter to any one if i am a pervert or not?

So with uv's and wrath around me no use of such calculations except to waste my time and so said go to hell and did  my usual puja.
let it be a pass word or pure vehemence.
 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Musings on New year's day.--1.1.16--FrIday

My diary notings on 23 rd of December 2014 is the real crux and not 25 th .Was i made to write the long diary of 25 th and on peoples com so that i may tire out and not blog the diary notings ?

A brief summary of that  days happenings --Visited a relatives house for a function and on way back saw a plane flying and immediately said my personal deities mantra in the auto which we were travelling back.
evening was reading a magazine, daringly wearing my reading glassess  .[specs which are banned for me] when i read an article on social work and my abdomen  on my left started to pain all of a sudden ,sharp stinging pain.saw that the article had a photo of a muslim social worker.i hardly glanced at the photo but the pain made me do so,oh so i was being punished for my japa?Taking the charade of conversion and sectarianism on and on?.ok do so i ll take the pain ,Have already weathered brutal pain after my uterus operation.remember that the room i was in the hospital  overlooked a busy road with cars and motorbikes whizzing by day and night. was i allotted that room deliberately to exaceberate my pain ?The nurses  and doc were  quite puzzled at my severe pain .
who can punish in a state?is it its job to oversee conversion and sect change and punish for straying?doesn't it have better jobs to do than to be so mindful of my viz an individuals, religious belief's and sect?

went up to terrace at 5.30pm  with a note book and watch and noted down the flights seen from there .till 7.45 pm ,7 to 7 .45 pm a lot off flights some on east and some on my flat's western side ,near and above my kitchen The time i use to work in the kitchen after glancing through articles in the net to catch up on the latest and finish the ones i read in mornings.It was at this evening time that ufr used to make his presence felt quite loudly from 2012 July on wards and few months after Ge.why?To hold my attention in that mega gap and recreate my  earlier years at porur and supplanting himself , after implanting some thing in my teeth and blanking mu mind out by sound blasting Crazy set up .Dirty fellow.i guess that he was holding my attention even in morn times when i was browsing net  in kids bedroom  which is in east direction whilst my hub did his puja in the other room .lots of flights this time to from 7am to 12 noon.

Whilst i was wailking cum noting the timings a thin girl daughter of  a neigh in next block kept walking  up and down  viz east to west .wondered as to why? she was so thin she didnt need this exercise.guess she was used to make mo go dizzy.there must be cameras in terrace as well.

At 7 45 felt an urge to visit toilet urgently to pass urine when on western side, .So came down hurriedly and crossed ufr on the stairs .Felt light headed and dizzy and nearly passed out.I hoped never to see or meet him after realising the dirty tricks he had played on us all these years and my hub had asked me to ignore him completely. as he dislikes him probably  instinctively grasping the control he was exercising over us.I also determined to do so but he catches me when i am not prepared .He did namaste ,bowing down in  a caricature  manner I said Rama ,Rama /ramram ji ki and came down

His namaste means mega trouble for me .Another casers boisterous couple left the flats making a lot of noise as i entered.
This ufr person doesn't have the guts to meet me without first preparing the ground .earlier my specs now leaks to make me nervous and distracted .He has made gigolos and comfort girls out of my once decent neigh's,Casers and exploiters abound in my flat.
.
Am sure that there is big money behind making me write diary.Nobody is doing it for free.All those cars,autos,neigh s,drivers ,peons etc cheap labour for high returns.Mine can be called diary scam Only god knows as to how much money was made out of my forcible writing for past few years.

Now back to first of January.

10.20am--Was thinking as i stood on my balcony , i ll be free of evesdroppers if some one broke my tooth.Then remembered how i was made to fall at front of Srinivasar  on the road ,near a police booth ,chipping my right front teeth .
Maybe there are two sets of people listening to my internal chatter.and each would like to knock of the other.And what have they for password ,my favorite deities names.! Those who shout from roof tops about secularism and religious freedom have denied me both.Wasn't being anti hindu  or trifling with sentiments the flavour all these years.That was the in thing to do,specially to people who blogged on corruption and religion in same breath.   Even a criminal in a jail will have this freedom to pray to his or her deity in full privacy of his  or her thoughts .

I thought of ufr and lfr,.remembering the floods that showed the true nature of all.Ufr and family aern't much respected .the way they were made to wait in waist deep water  for a along time   for the boat when they could have easily walked.And that policeman laughing at the comic way of ufr clambering to the boat  is quite understandable.How can men who face danger directly and also go to court to pursue cases, respect men who hide and use fancy gadgets to correct waywards?.
A slum woman started exhibiting her swimming abilities in  a jeering manner, enjoying her strokes ,  when lfr and family waded out carefully in waist deep water.

Hope my writings which are specific only to me, doesn't put undue pressurre  or even sting any one in power.

Looked at the open space and the tenements around it and wondered ,what do these people think of me?Do they dislike me?Do they like my hub?

I don't think that they hate me or dislike me nor are they disrespectful  to me ,unless ordered to be so.They seem to be enduring me and all the crazy activities around me  in a tolerant humorous manner.Some elders seem to feel sorry.

Are they aware of the benifits i brought from centre in 2 major episodes?Do they have at least a bit of gratitude to me for doing so?just then saw a a tall youth in t shirt walking down the ground.For a second he looked just like Vidat!It was like a shaft into my herat .
It wasnt me who brought whatever i would have,it was Vidat , the blog he created for me ,so the credit goes to him and they are all aware of this fact ,so why would they give credit to me?

On 3.1.16 wrote an  recap  going back to decade back,Wondering if there was a mystery in Vidat's death  as i remember the pressure cooker going on and off  irritatingly at several times in morning from down below specially at 10am ,the puja time of hub ,even when Vidat was around .Were we being alerted even then itself?Was my hub's rightist views the target then itself? Were the docs deliberately negligent?Was his son done away with to nasty him and and then do no touch torture on me also for the same as well as for my blogging?Was i striking back at the the guilty through my blogs created by my son without actually knowing that i was doing so and that my persistence may have created a name for myself?

Then wondered what if some hindus adapted the sly technique of ufr to teach those whom they don't like a lesson in similar manner?torture women&,nasty the men in middle class neighbourhoods and get way without any proof?
Also examined the leftists and rationalists angle in my life since blogging.were they using me in converse to settle scores with rightists?So international audiences with similar typical reverse mind would see it exactly the way the leftists wanted it to be?
Then i listed the not so good deeds of all politicians.
That very night had a terrific pain in my throat,next day on started to feel nauseous after taking tablets for viral infection  and the very next day started feeling pain in abdomen which disabled me for a day or two .i observed that this pain rather painful bowel movment came and went along with motor bikes taking a round just before planes took a arc.
Was being punished.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Clearing doubts.

This is to make it clear to all those who may think that just because they blew the word Bismillah loudly into my ears  when i was in a semiconscious and highly weakened state in last Sept that i have been converted.we are not living in middle ages to take this single episode as my conversion .
I am very happy and comfortable in the religion i am born into --hinduism I am discovering good facets in it by my actual experiences .My personal grief further strengthened my belief in it  and i donot hold my deity or my religion responsible for my loss.it was my own failings plus natures workings ,hence i have no reason to leave it for another,those reeling under any false impression and grandioseness of past, kindly keep off ,

Similarily to those who were dinning param pita for more than nearly 10 days into my semiconscious state in those months, i have already refused your offers of settling in us etc , and didn't succumb to your threats of death to me and my family if  i didn't convert  even in that weakened state.Accept my decision rather statement of fact and kindly keep off .i have sufficient means and will not leave my religion even if threatened with death.

Same goes with changing of sect.I have never prayed to any other deity regularily since childhood without break except of my personal/kula deity.This is a  statement of fact and no amount of threats and provocations and  punishments is going to change it.

I respect all religions and all sects,hence i am unable to understand this non stop attack on me with a religious conversion twist and sectarianism .

If physical and mental pain is the price i have to pay to  adhere to the religion of my birth as well as the sect i was born into and never strayed from both ,then i will  have to bear it as i have no intention of letting go of my religion as well as my sect.. 
My case is  odd ,unique and unheard of in annals of modern India.At times i feel i am being deliberately set up  in Medeivial India  setting so as to wrest concessions from political powers.

                                                        Bitter sectarianism in here--Tamilnadu.and forcible conversions from one sect to another or to another religion mainly --islam. When both of these are past history sectarianism 1000 years back and forcible conversion to islam maybe 300 to 400 years back.what is enacted on me after repeated brainwashing tactics and stalking is like a cheap c grade movie.like the ones slum dwellers  watch. 

Who can punish in a state?Is it their job to encourage conversion covertly or connivive and then punish for straying?Doesn't it have other better jobs to do than bother about me an individual citizen's,religious beliefs and the sect to which i belong and which Bhagwaan's sacred names i should repeat silently--japa  in the modern times that we live in ?