I am a perfect living example of what people cookers can do to a targeted  person and family since 2012.Every thing that blogger has written which anyone reading it  who has not actually experienced thier handi work would scarcely believe that blog and would dismiss it as loony and a tall story .That blogger himself is not much inspiring in that photo of his  and i myself would have thought this fellow is crazy and has spun a vivid and macabre paranoid tale had i read it before i actually tasted their handiwork first hand .

So also the article on non lethal warfare that military wages which i read to get to know about all the impossible things happening to me ,like words flitting across my forehead ,my thoughts being read instantly and it being broad cast from nearby temple to shame and tame me  ,would appear stomach churning with its brutally focussed  dehumanisation of a individual .imagine if such a  practise is applied to ordinary middle class citizens honest and living within means  and who are not terrorists or hardened criminals or pows ,[the persons they are said to have tried thier hands on with such practises] to so as to subjugate them.or put them to nefarious uses.
But it has happened to me a ,55 year[ in 2012]  old  educated house wife with a political and scholarly lineage for turning into a blogger!

word to word of that blog has been done on us, with the addition of implanting  some device in my right molar upper teeth . In fact it is this device which is facilitating  instant reading of my thoughts as they rise .Maybe  to divert me if i start blogging or writing it .Fear of my individuality !It must have been  used and is still used to erase my individuality.

How do i know a devise is there?

1.After june-july-2014 jamming of my brain the nearby temple used to broad cast hourly advise as if in answere to my doubts that rise in my mind ,at times instantly .even now taps on ceiling is instant as if in instant response to my thoughts.So quick and so instant is the tapping or slight hammering on the ceiling that it is bewildering .are human responses so instanteneous or is it some software in my implant that itself is generating this response  ?                                                                                                                            2.Even 2012 itself i used to wonder as to how every movement of mine ,the planning behind it in my mind was known .was my face read?
3.I suspected that the painful root canal opertaion i was made to go through in 2011 was with the intention of planting ,cementing some devise in it since 2013 but couldn't quite put  my hand to it.That was the first major  step taken in the attempts to squash my confidence.It is still being used
4.Had forgotten about this due to fear put in me soon after GE  .Evenn before Ge i didnt think that i would be subject to such a inhuman leash on me.though when ever i went  for  morning walks youths--drivers or domestic help, maid servants, and owners would be shown with dogs of various size on leash ,even a few weeks back before the floods when i started top use my house as minea dog without leash would follow.
The most cruel and painful enactment was when i underwent a uterus surgery .The next day when i glanced down saw a tail less police dog  running up and down the main road .
ok ,few days back as i chewed on bournvita cocoa powder that had become hard ,i could hear a tiny metallic screech in my left side when i chewed that bit on my right molar with the help of the capped one .
Very sure that it is this implant which is facilitating instant reading of my thoughts.
5.This nerve wracking metallic screech [am being tortured in a worse  manner than it was done in middle ages] which is audible under my left ear is quite high in closed spaces and in corners and i can virtually hear my thoughts which seems to echo within. As i wrote this the current was cut.Does it indicate state govts role the chief provider of eletricity?

The cooker com  tell us how motorbikes are used  to get certain reactions in  a targeted person.I was hearing sounds and saw youths specially a fierce looking bearded youth wearing his mus identity race down from adjoining block when i started heraing stereo fonic sounds above me ,and was teased by groups of people where ever i went in 2012 May .During sept 2014 i heard a motorbike racing down nearly every minute .For me the reaction[ maybe even for my hub] is to feel the urge need to leak at times i normally didn't like before lighting the oil lamp and definetly never whilst telling slokas or doing silent japas before our deity  .which i started to and thid was greeted with fanfare by ringing the puja bell from down.It also happened if i saw even elderly neigh, dhobhi,errand boys,and a lot of our neigh and even visitors and strangers.

 observed that a few days back that just before a flight sound is herad ,i got this sudden urge to get up from my room and walk down to kitchen which is in W,tho' i had planned to sit and sight planes to make  a log which i was maintaining so as to feel clear headed  and to analayse etc.i obeyed this urge[sure uv control before sept this uv was causing me headaches which i used to ignore but dared not in sept and later ,now i hardly feel it ,so it means i have stopped fighting it and am obeying as was what was originally intended of me. ok as i came to kitchen heard a mobike sound ,felt a slight incontinence and at that time hub was doing a silent repitition of our deity, realised my mistake of allowing to be controlled and went back to my room and peeped out ,a neigh's son of other community was driving down on mobike.The flight also went above as i stood watching and again felt incontinence ,a youth of our community was driving down towards straight ahead of my window
So a deliberate attempt to use a community and sect has been enacted on us quite consistently all these years..Before it was hidden from view Now it is being shown so as to provoke me and make me abuse and get some concession or the other.

Read about mind reading and putting thoughts in  to a person which is done to some pows or suicide bombers .Guess what ?it has been done to me.I have written about keywords put into me as i slept after that 2012 sound blasting i received which made me write blogs, diary etc.non stop .
A month backwhen  i poured a mug of water on me before bathing and chanted my deity's name some Arabic  lines  in which i recognised their god's name  flitted across my slammed forehead!
apart from this i was often made to sweat on the eyelids and wipe it when i went for  a walk and saw a person ,mostly low strata from that community!  I was also made to sweat on my eye lids soon after bathing and wipe it with my towel which is hung on the hanger on west side.This happens even now .What a sick thing to do.would people of that community like to be associated with my leaks and drying my eyelids as if in prayer when i am not even fully clothed?
Similarily  would people of other sect like to be associated with my leaking in thier presence?Maybe a few individuals are chosen and  are readied for this ,To what purpose? To nasty me.? But i have started to write about it and now even blog without the rancours put into me.
It still scares me ,irritates me when  i say Rama casually like when getting up then find it immediately be supplanted with allah!
And when i do silent repitition of name of my personal deity and the name of god of other sect  keeps popping up breaking my concentration and therefore my introspection!

I have also been made to emote ,get angry ,feel unduly touched or sad in tune with  the news that is is in headlines or even sidelines   in papers or tv  whether people of this country are actually bothered or not and whether i am bothered or not.This is  happening since 2012.Like brain washing suicide bombers .
My emotional attachments in family has been widely used ,specially my grief .The attachments are still used

.The weakest are picked for this,like my late brother.My hub's attachment to his late brother .Now to our son having succeeded in severing between me and my hub by putting into his head that i am lusting after my neigh [a fellow who can't even meet me without my specs , which is used for false geity or creating anxiety in me first or preparing a ground  with his gadgets] and in sept dinning into my head that i was full of lust and was so starved  as my hub couldnt and cannot satisfy me, that to keep me in good spirits, a service to humanity, many of our neigh have gallantly offered their manly services to satiate me and also  protect me from strange men i may meet on my outings--walks ,who like dogs have smelt my needs are attracted by it and will smother me with their lust for me!
A pack of local dogs were made to bark on and off once i was shown the spectacle of female dog being chased and smothered by a pack of male dogs .Submlinial  messaging.

In this satisfying my lust charade even kids.children were used ! I didnt believe when i read this cooker com when he said they were also peadophiles when i read it few days back,but my memory came  and realised that what he was saying was correct.They were used in sept and even later.I even glared at the mothers signaling thier small sons to take part in this dirty pshyco war .no use.They went ahead as instructed .Middle class women of another sect and.kids from a lesser strata from another minor minority community.

Few days back in order to refresh my memory which was quite thouroughly wiped out last july .sept , i went through  articles on net on ultra violet rays, infra red rays used in controlling animals and people and read about the non lethal weapons that are used by us  defence  and that in a protest by women decades back  the women protesters in a camp suddenly felt nauseous ,had headaches and women past their menopause to start mensurating  and all the protestors were thus successfully disabled and scattered .The article says this sudden physical discomfort was because of using non lethal weaponary  which includes the use of  ultra violet rays  and these rays were definetly used . If not for these articles and blogs which are allowed to be published in US i would have been  totally at sea.Admire the courage of thier citizens as well their freedom to take on their govt 's shady antics.,.
 ok now back to drawing the similarity..Way back in 2011  my knee suddenly constricted on a visit to a city in another state the day after i felt a terrific heat in my genitials.I was blogging from my relatives house and i noticed a red car parked outside the way it used to be outside my house here.every day of my stay there.Then end of that year one day i developed a unbearable pain it was after the root canal surgery. and i had to take pain killers and go for phisiotherapy ,I cleraly suspect some such rays being used on me .What struck me odd was that the doc didn't bother to check or see my knees and absconded the day i was to met him next.He prescribed tabs .It was like as if he was fore warned.
i limped up and down and a long time neigh one fine day suggested that she too suffered from such pains and that when she mensurated it vanished!i was taken aback as she was as old as i then nearly 56 years!And i was made to do so in sept last only i was made to discharge  a lot of whitish fluid instead of red.for one whole month at end of which i lost 10 kgs ,and my balance both physical and mental and confidence.What a sublinial message for two yeras was actually put in full force in 2014.Thought then that my foodstuffs,medicines were slaked with female viagra but reading that article makes it clear that non lethal weapons were used on me to shut me down.
The gyno who operated on me when i decided to remove my uterus soon after to escape such further blacmails in future asked me whether i had any major surgery before this and i said no .then she expressed her surprise at the way my two ovaries were stuck to the uterus wall which is onl;y possible if i had undergone a major surgery in my stomach,i have never undergone ,both deliveries were normal .

I suspect that the heat of the rays used constantly on the base of my spine when i stand in balcony ,windows  since 2012 which finally culminated in this mega attack in 2014 led to this.

Like in that cooker com ,i too used to get stinging pain in my left eye since 2012 ,maybe as a punishment for writing or even reading something which could have helped a political adversary. My eyes used to turn as red as that woman's.in that photo.Even now i get that pain though not as much as before .

cooker com says--people around you will think you are schizo.Exactly in my case.whenever i let out my frustrations on my inability to take on my shadowy tortures loudly to my hub or write it the foll happens
1,A mental retard youth will be let loose blabbering   and make him stand near the temple.
2.Two  toddlers will cry or laugh or recite nursery rhymes or sloka alternatively.
3.An older female neigh will start rambling inchorently.
4.And hub will  become too hot and bothered unlike his resigned self of past several years on hearing my  complaints agaisnt neigh,poli, and communities.and threaten me with admission in a mental health home.
5.The temple when it was blaring advise will praise very patronisingly the good intentions of a saivaite in helping poor ,weak and so on and give some more advise ,.
.The last item always would irritate me more The patronising dishing out of advises and the holier than thou attitude of the announcer .Thank god it has stopped now.it was making me lose even the little confidence i had in myself .
as per cooker com --will be made to undergo operations which are useless.
correct.-if not for uv attack i would have never gone for a major surgery .More worse was that in the  pursuance of the charade of conversion attempts  i was made to feel unbearable pain in my abdomen that was already raw and painful whenever i went near a god's picture in my house ,i didn't realise the connection then thinking it was police brutality ,,they were enjoying my pain just for the heck of it then, now i do.

Also underwent cataract operation though i could have managed with specs for some more time.I did so becuase it was suggested by constant teasing that wearing specs was also a cause of the discharge and i was made to discharge whenever i wore it and it happens even now in those rare times i dare to use it to read articles ,.I went around without specs for 6 to 8 months and then finally decided to when i found that even after my uterus operation i was being nastied through specs.Despite this when i watch tv now i can feel the release of fluids that tend to blank me out.

cooker com --Heart  attacks will be given ..it happened to my hub in August 2012 .When i refused to join a political party  in the height of Anna movt so as to black mail me He was so tortured shadowily that his body bloated and suffered terrific discomfort and was let off only when i the cold blooded idealogue--according to my harrasers ,shed teras at his plight .Damage has been done .his heart is not working to full capacity.

cooker com --Small ailments will be made into major ones --True.Like my minor knee pain to nearly incapcitating me,,major surgery for minor tooth pain, turning small obssesions to major ones so as to consume our entire lives .Also bluring of eyesight .Impairing hearing Felt a ping a perfect shot like he mentions when i was blogging in august 2014 in my left ear as swift punishment for what ever i was blogging then ,dont remember now,and that ear was blocked for 2 weeks  with sounds richocheting inside my forehead.Here also the ent doc barely examined unlike in  my earlier visits  ,guess she was forewarned of the shady handiwork.

cooker com or non lethal weaponary com --Says will lose balance.That is presicely what is happening to me .My body becomes extraordinaroly so heavy that i am barely able to move on the roads And at times it is so feather weight that i am literrally flying .making me trip and fall .This loss of balance came about when i decided enoughof this  stupidity ,this is my house and i will treat it as i did before 2012 and bathe, dress and go to toilet in light  come what may.
Since the heaviness of body came about when i carried a load of my translation of Azhwars pasurams with pictures of deities on the cover and felt an invisible control,like head ache , to keep of mus houses  which i passed by in the street when i carried such pictures on me i decided to carry bags with such pictures and wear gold rings with images of out deity as i refuse to oblige such silly commands on me  .i have never carried such pics or worn such rings in my life but did it for above reason and also to get back my heaviness to counter the feather light speed
I made to scratch  at all the wrong places in my house and i would forget my wearing those rings and would do it thus inadvertently disrespecting our gods I stuck to the rings and bags in my walks to ward off the groups stalking me to weaken my spine and make me crumple down but was outwitted and more of such spine weakning was given .t few yeras back even after my bereavment i used to walk 6 kms slowily but steadily now due to loss of balance which i suspect due to casing and gadgets i have to drag myself or fly and fall.
Very thin people are used to make me feel light and dizzy .
I will add some more that cooker com hasn.t'
A.Special specs or people wearing specs are selected to give a exaggerated version of beauty or youth . ma ny in my flats have taken shelter behind thier specs now a days  when they meet me or  when i was wearing them could met me boldly without feeling any twinge of conscience ion doing wthe nasty job they were put on to .
b.Constricting of throat to point of suffocation --soon after jamming i removed my mangal sutra due to fear put in me now i realise with intention of conversion,stupid shadowy conversion .in those days when i visited temple of another sect my throst was horribly constricted.i saw a man of low strata pass me just before that constriction
In my locality which is under camera surveillance ,i am sure.when i neraed a minority shop and a girl of another sect neared me i felt such a pain in my left throat that i thought i would choke to death .it left only when that girl moved away.I was wearing my gold chain with godess lakshmi embossed in it.
When ever i wore it or neared pic of gods in my house could feel that slitting sensation .it left onlt after i wore ms back now also it is done but mildly.
c, when i entered my locality carying loads of my booklets on our deity my base of my head was given a sharp pain so that i may look at a direction , in the manner in which rats are said to be  directed in the direction where a handicaped man was limping
Have received this pain in base of head ,buzzing sounds in my right ear in my house.

Group stalking as per cooker com ---Yes ,It is done to me.by a set of neighbours in my flat and when i go out or stand in my balcony people from lower strata like gas delivery men, water,milk,newspaper boys,drivers in car without any occupants,waiters,sales men dhobhi,sweepers ,dirty lungis and dhothis ,dark people,ne waiters,.i have been seeing only this lot for past 4 years  where ever i go even to dramas and concerts which the above mentioned people never attend that i have become fed up with this liberal spreading of poverty, racism and handicaps and minoritysm,where as before all this group stalking i was kindly disposed to all of them and was never allergic to all these common people nor suspicious of my neigh and nearly any one who approaches me .Like my late bub .said  when i told him  in 2012 how the common people who never spared me a glance were openly glaring at me and neigh who i thought were decent are literally peering into my house and disturb me deliberately when i walk on terrace ,you will be driven in such a way that you might even start suspecting ordinary events and innocent people.

I may call all this a stain on our democracy and  a black mark on who ever that person is who okayed it,but will those in power or politics care?
Every thing is just as before,Now even more tighter screws put on me
Can my 3 lakh viewers do anything Joke.Those in politics have milions of such viewrs /voters + power.
 do anything?
As per people;s cooker com people cookers are in national intel service

Is mine a mimic or are they really in natl service? If it is former i haven't the money power and if it is latter i haven't the capacity to take on such a trained machinery single handedly.

By trying to outwit them by readaing info,observing i am end up confusing myself as they are masters in creating confusion,diversion and have an unfair advantage ,that of preempting me by reading my thoughts.  .

After writing this went for shopping on that day .A traffic policeman  helped me cross a street smilingly saying this is free left and share auto fellows donot obey so it is dificult to cross .A dark tall young man .He escorted rather followed me and when he turned away i felt light and dizzy.  Then suddenly at another crossing felt a stinging pain in my left eye .looked up and saw a tall policeman with tilak and his young assistant on my side.the pain left when i crossed that gap.

Log of my freedom 25.12.15--Friday

6.37 am .heard flight saw it fly .Didnt come near mobile tower which is opposite to me window.
Analysis--Freedom at that time ? dicey.maybe it should be nearer
As i noted this Instantly Om Shakthi song was played loudly from nearby amman temple  like as if celeberating my shackles .Like as if i am their enemy .Sadistists .Hope they and their family suffer in the manner i have been made to.

7.02 am--Heard and saw fl over  one block of flats away on opposite eastern side flying southwards.
observation--felt free to think for few moments.
7.20.am--Loud sound of fli in Eastern direction.
Feeling --Again felt free a bit and buyount as i paid my salutations to early morning sun  and felt ,which human being can match its splendour or ever get the power Bhagwaan who created it?
Weaklings showing power on lesser weaklings.
obs--As i wrote this immediately temple music off and an full black crow started to crow gruffly.as if to say yes yes.
7.50-heard in east.
feeling--clearing of mind a bit but only analysis of politics of news which i glanced at news paper eralier.Why?
obs--A squirrel screeching hysterically.
My mind has been abused in a very extra ordinary manner.----today  27.12.15 read about non lethal weapons of  military on net .i was definetly and am still a target for such brutal methods of control.Amnesia, making a menopause woman pass fluids,pains ,attacking heart, etc  too brutal even to read .and it has been done on us.consistently since 2011.
 8.01.--Heard in en side
Feeling---anger.when i herad the voice of boisterous couple who have returned.
obs--Saw a lot of white dhothi clad beraded mus walk out from our flat  complex and leave.

8.18 --heard in e.
8.27 herad in east.
obs-Boisterous middle aged couple ,the earlier one and long time neigh  arguing.Feeling--anger at being abused by them openly and freely before general elections.Probably it was a diversion from a moment of freedom for myself.
8.41 heard in east.
feeling --indescisivness .
obs--Hand pump sound from opposite side.
conclusion --So actually a lot of freedom [am feeling grateful even for scraps being thrown,have been reduced to this level] as so many flightsbut at such times or just before their arrival near or overhead sounds which are all normal in day to day activities and i had accorded them just that regard and never bothered about such noises are now being delibetrately used to distarct me.They still could be normal ,only the deliberate switching off or blocking my hearing constantly and letting go for a purpose for the past 3 yeras  is irritating , provoking me.and also distracting me and making me lose focus on my normal life.What bitterness some one harbours at me.!
Thought what if software in my implant is cloned?So am i being constantly jammed ,to be always at a farcical ,shallow geity  ?Never to  delve into my true emotions,likes ,interests and beliefs? my thoughts ,etc are all now only forehead /scalp deep.
Abused before ge and also after.Former didn't have a sense of nationhood as well as respect to basic human ity and latter hasn't the courage to face the challenge by freeing me.I am caught inbetween

to be contd
viewers please go to www.peoplecooker.com and read it .it says intels and military use electronic gadjets  radio waves  and group stalking methods to torture lone activists,and others and that if the target  -victim  gets to know of this sick inhuman evidenceless punishments the micro wave attacks will be intensified .as has been done in my case
He calls them psychopaths  warming my mind   as i have been calling my gadget weilding group stalkers  for past 4 years as perverts and cold blooded killers.

contd blogging my 25 diary ,log today--30.12.15

time--9.02.am-heard in E.
Feeling---To get up and do chores although i had earlier determined to sit for sometime to note the flights .Controled that urge and waited.
obs--Gas cylinders being loaded  in the open space at front of temple.Hub started puja so nastying his wife -me by making me walk up and down and pull the switch timing it to a mororbike driven down from b  block mostly by mus men   and make me want to urinate and let it slip precisely at the time he lights the oil lamp .He doesn't know of all this and wouldn't believe it either but i have come to know by lfr announcing this incontinence by ringing the puja bell  I 'll eloborate on this in  a later blog.

Time--9.11am-Herad in E
Feeling --Thinking of delhi politics wondering whether ufr to me is like jung to ak.

Time--9.14.am Heard in E
Said Om namo Narayana and Rama Rama Rajaram --happily as mind clears then and i guess i am free of eaves droppers or controllers.S o a moment precious ones all for myself.
obs--heard mental retarded youth blabber .An harmless fellow..Tall and fleshy.

Time --9.20am==Heard far away in E
obs--Mental retarded was blabbering.Hub opened the box housing Saligram as i heard the ribibg of the pujs bell as he did so.I was sitting in bedroom with back to wall yet felt the space below base of spine give out a scratching sensation making me want to scratch.i have tweeted about this nastying me and through me my hub,So the waves micro or infra red or whatever was being directed at me from floor below me,That is the only logical way possible to make me get that sensation as lights ,fans away from me in the front and side .Guessing as i don't know exactly how these gadgets can be used

 time--9.36-915 am Head in E ,9.42 herad in E.
obs --So many flights .If the implant in me is radio frequency then switching it off would be too cumbersome and  aslip can be dangerous for communications so logical thing to do is switch it off.But  mobiles and other electronic gadgets are used around me in 100' s so  what could the connection with flights be?

i guessed a day back that it could be used along with motorbikes ,auto;s driving loudly [to my controlled ears]up and down like it is said in people cooker com to get certain reactions bodily.in my case i guess leaks.

  to be contd

Sadistic form of control

I am becoming more and more sure that the root canal surgery i under went in the last months of 2011 was forced upon me so that a gps chip could be embedded in  the cavity of my tooth and then cemented.To control me .
My memory that was sought to be wiped out soon after Ge is slowly returning .I remember reading on the net about a old type of gps  that acted with help of radio waves and that it was very reliable.
I am sure that it is this type of gps which has been stuck in my tooth cavity may be on a nerve..i remember that the surgery was very painful.
Reason --1.No person on this earth can read another persons thoughts the way mine is being read, if not for such intrusive implants.
2.I can see planes flying in Eastern sky from my bedroom straight ahead when they are about to land in the airport 10 kms away or when they take off in eastern direction. At such times my mind clears and loses its fuzziness must be because  in that time my gps is either switched off or the jamming is stopped so that the plane has a clear path  in its radio frequency  which is vital for its communications .
                                         .i am deducting all this from my observations and what i read on the net 2 years back and to the extraordinary length that was gone into to keep me off the net .
Extra ordinary measures  included preventing me from meditating  at the time of morn flights to and fro --specially,10 55-11.5 &11.30-35 [flights are visible even at 2.30 in morn ,the time when dogs star barking] by linking the time of my b.i.l and brothers death in succeeding months to 11.30 am and scaring me away from meditating on my personal gods .My hearing also being controlled  or diverted i hardly hear the sound of planes  which i normally would.
Also observed that it is at these times that my attention is diverted by loud noise,chatter ,repetitive motions by those in street below or in the terraces.or if i am walking or somewhere else people getting to close to my back weakened by month long jamming and removal of fluids to make me even more weak,light headed and lose my balance and fall down.This is also done in my house ..
In short never allowed to have a moment for myself  since 2011 and went beyond the point of human endurance after ge.
i maintained a log of my being made to leak ,maybe it was done at this gap so as to blank my mind out,lest i meditate and get out of this let it be attitude forced upon me and try and seek remedy from this animal like control .
This radio frequency stuff came back to mind when i saw a plane flying by and mind cleared at that danger time 11,30am ,During floods there were no flights for 4-5 days .So my mind was completely jammed and under control  of those weilding the control ,over me or was given full fredom by stroke of nature to gain absolute control over me,us ,specially me --due to my famous public diary,.Did i exaggerate in my diary ?Not much. Was i too soft on leadership in here? Not really.Did write honestly but refrained from being churlish and mean at such a overwhelming disaster ,immediately but did write later on when things subsided.
Read of gps,radio frequency ,ultra sound control etc before general elections and connected it during 2914 when fluids were squeezed out of me  when i obs that planes wwre all flying in north direction ,overhead and not at all in East side for few days,say towards end of that month probably to exert  th ejamming to full force and control me that is kep off writing and net in a crucial foreign trip!
If it is true ,i wanted to note down this in my diary then itself but the glare of a neigh like as if divining my thoughts made me skip noting it down.That was the time i very much wanted to write my will but also didnt on receiving another  warning glare.A long time resident whom i had thought to be a very mild and nice person.
If what i obs then is true  that is change in path of flights i wondere ctehn also now ,how am i so important that planes had to bediverted for my sake!
Who put this gps or some chip in my teeth State or centre?Am i an animal.Did those in power fail to forsee the consequences of their dastardly deed due to arrogance of power and their vengence to teach me a lesson --a solitary person writing on public affairs and hinduism, that of  liberalising  a cover up word for converting me slowly and then hurriedly after GE?
Is my gps or whatever inhuman control is state specific or does centre also have a control as was put into my jammed forehead in sept 2014?

The inhuman treatment given to me by  implanting a chip  by making me go for a root canal surgery and then  provoking me  to write on matters i am not in the least interested by making me emote excessively to th e point of exhaustuion and preventing me from blogging what i really like ,small snnipets,obs on society and religion from my personal experiences ,will be a black mark on the person who authorised this and will be considered as a stain on our democracy if the person who authorised it is a political leader .

                          Is my control under one authority/politicians/media or under 2  or several? .Are they of different idealogies and are there fore vying with one another to control me viz writing?Is this conversion drama a cover up for this tug of war.?Is that gap in jamming  the time to influence me ? is my japa of my bhagwans name the key word in the soft ware of my gps to control  me? And if i do japa my control will pass over to some onelse ?

Only a anti hindu will dare to keep the sacred name of personal gods as the key to my control.Total intrusion into my religious freedom. Will any one in Bharat believe this?How could the
 person who did this or authorised this even think of doing such a sacrilieage even be it a thick skinned politician?On other hand it also speaks of total disrespect to human rights.and laws of this country.
I may call the treatment  accorded to me as a brutal one ,a black mark , stain on  our democracy who ever did it and is continuing   and i may keep on hurling abuses ,curses ,discover uncanny parellels with people cookers methods and non lethal warfare in  suppression of activism with my situation and keep on writing and blogging about it but will those in power care?Joke! If us  govt with 200 0r 300 long hist of democracy etc has such freaks to do the dirty jobs how can i expect it  not be or used in our barely 60 year old democracy?

ironical!In our trip to mumbai in 2007 my late son who had created this blog for me just a month before[though i didnt use it at all] took me to the terrace of a multistoreyed flats we were put up to see the planes take off and land from nearby airport.
It was a ethereal sight! The golden lights of the planes flickering in a row as it glided in the dark night. one after the other with scarcely a pause in between.Vid enjoyed this sight and went evey night of our short stay there to relax and have a look at them .
Would he have ever imagined or known then that his mother would one day be watching them fly past  and logging their time very keenly in quest of her freedom from our window in here? 

22.12,15 Monday.

Again a warning today in morn.Vellon vraugaa varuga  meaning Muruga come come and protect me. played loudly from lower floor flat  from 9am onwards

Getting fed up of warnings every other day but have to write or blog it and also recount my activities,or what ever i spoke so that my honest confession will bring me or hub or son  reprieve from bodily harm .I guess religious song means it is directed against my hub'
Activities yesterday--1Visited Srinivasa temple at Mylapore for Vaikunta Ekadesi,Regular practise for decades in the morn

2.Got 10 booklets of my translations  of tamil hymns of saints on TiruvallurVeeraghavar Swamy ,in the even.All printouts only.

3.Gave the book on hinduism i had bought earlier in  a temple soon after the floods receded and life gained normality to a young man whose interest in hinduism surprised and delighted me .I also gave him the the name of book stalls and addresses of book shops where books on hinduism as well as books on Saivism would be available,as he was interested in learning about his sect in detail
.
4.Night wrote an explanation to be blogged today since i have put a lot of my blogs on redraft and some could be controversial 'communal' issues soon after General elections .Wrote the following

As far as possible i refrained from commenting or making observtions on communal issues  making headlines

,But i was made to emote excessively on such issues and made to write, offending minority community 's  just .before elections and later excesively defending them .Both  not my true nature .

I normally never comment on such issues and even if i was provoked i used to first read the other side of the story from articles in the net and get  a balanced view on  controversial news items and not blindly spell my opinions on such issues in such a exaggerated manner.                                                                                     I was not given the space to read the net and form a independant opinion and was made to mouth the seculars view points on communal matters which they make a big show of being concerned with and are so obsessed with,.currently .

Do above activities ,so very normal for thousands of indians merit such a censure  ?or my notings in my diar,y which i will treat as private as that is my right, invite censure and punishments?
But it has .

Warning which cannot be ignored.

Today -18.12.15 morning at 8AM heard the vendor selling 10 rs balm on his moped announcing  loudly his ware which consists of a cheap balm which is cure for arthritis ,tooth pain and body pain in women and chest cold in children.
Have learnt from experience in  the past few months  that i must write or blog or tweet this warning  of punishment to be meted for words spoken in my house or written in my diary or for my blogs.Or otherwise i or others in my family are liable to be visited with bodily harm .
I recollect  that this vendor with his low menacing voice [with a similar tone like that of upper floor resident whenever he would warn me in past --2012 onwards till few months backwhilst writing my diary, from his balcony. when i lapsed into victim hood of a hindu  being persecuted for writing on hinduism or stating the hindu view point or wrote unflatteringly about politcal leaders]used to make his rounds as early as 2010.i didn't know the significance of this warning till a few months back and learnt that i should not ignore this warning this September when i tripped and fell on the main road after walking with a unnatural lightness of body which is  uncharestic to my physique which is always heavy and my steps are slow,measured and careful ,two days after this warning ,which i deliberately didn't write in my diary wanting to test its veracity.And  i did .There was nothing in the smooth black road at front of the deity at the temple where i crossed so as to pay my obseince from the gates which could trip me.Only a flash of thin man clad in dirty a lungi hurriedly crossing me just as i turned to cross the road,And the usual flower sellers ,a thin woman and few  youths stringing garlands.of flowers.

Probably this hiss of cobra was issued to me before every ailment that struck me or accidents involving son and hub.I didnt know then that he was giving warnings and thought  that  he was a irritatingly persistent  vendor and forgot about him the moment he left .I was blogging then .It was only in september 2014 my attention was drawn to this vendors warning even then i took it lightly and started taking it seriously only from this year. 
Maybe hammering on the wall and sudden burst of  sound of electric saw is also a warning but don't know its meaning or its effect upon me.Could it be a warning of some mishap planned for me for offending political sensitivities?Both are going on now.
Is it for republishing my earlier blogs or my latest blogs.?I have stated truthfully all that which i was subject to ,experienced and did .So why should i be warned or threatened?If it is felt that it is a single view point and one sided what prevents any one from contesting it ?My comments policy is public any one can comment freely and frankly. and lodge their view point .No problem.I' d appreciate any one for doing that and not this indirect  threats.and physical violence .

17.12.15 Re published my earlier blogs which i was compelled soon after GE to delete but i had put on draftput on draft

I have published all my earlier blogs i had put on draft.I had deleted one blog  about implants as it was sought to be made as if i did a heinious crime and endangering our lives and reputation.and caused  law  and order problem  in some local polls in another city.of this state.

Observations on my situation--17.12.15

The painful root canal operation in 2011 followed by two even more painful procedures conducted on me soon  after the General elections of 2014 on me viz stinging attacks on my brain  all night long and body for a month when i refused to write made me very easily receptible to suggestions .That was the period i put a lot of blogs on redraft .This was followed by making me discharge [very unnatural for my age] copious fluids from down below which litterally made me jelly like a placsticine  clay to be moulded at will ,memory of my past years of life wiped as also my indentity and my confidence totally wrecked.That month was the period of conversion.to follow either bismillah or param pita or siva or face deaths in family.
viewers may think i am spinning a fantastic tale.why should I?it really happened and is still happening.

After that jamming and liquidifying rigours [funny i am still alive to relate this torture.either i am tough or i was let off before going the full hog that to after enduring unbearable pains after my uterus surgery  and cataract surgeries which i guess was sadistically enhanced by using one or other form of control over me] my thoughts seem to be skimmed off my forehead .[oh yes i remember now my head  had become a tight and facial skin a mask after jamming ]and read by all and sundry, the very instant!I start debating within myself on news topics or think in a reaction  to various stimullai like cranking sound of pump,loud and agitated talkingof those around me, knocking sound of cylinders thrown down from truck always stationed nearby ,noises which have started to jar me since 2011and even more after 2014.
I do remember that this noise stimulai was used on me to write and when i decided to quit writing after ge as i felt i was being exploited for others to make money or power and was writing on issues i am hardly interested in. i guess that jamming was done so that without my writing my views could be directly skimmed of my forhead!will such greedy guys proper?will go down the drain one day or the other.for sure.

I see a lot of Russian viewers in my audience.I have read of horror tales of the govts there in earlier decades exercising totalitarian control over its subjects thoughts.May be they can understand  as to what is being done to me and my family more than i as in here viz india i have never read about such a vicious and total grip on a person's thoughts and this unnatural cutting off, family ties and dishonouring scared customs and free ingress into one's private property and space.
At least in those days Russia didnt claim to be democratic country but india always did and as i find my beraings it shocks me that brain washing tactics are being used upon us so  freel;y and without any qualms and if th eworld reads this what aterrible pi cture this state of tamil nadu  a part of india  is going to present.Ruthless muzzling with communist country's tacticson those criticising political leaders or comenting on nature of rule ,or on corruption and for not toeing the leftists unbalanced and provocative conception of secularism in which only mino's sensitivities are important.
May be i am the only known brain washed victim in my state and country as no such news has ever been reported in main stream media or  and now in the new media viz social media as well!

Any way i can blog it am being allowed to blog!Amazing! didn't encounter any of those sudden shutting down of comp or deleting it and make me blog it again and again  a charectristic censoring before ge i was so used to ,hence the exclamation .
The floods taught me how property and cherished memories of a life time in photos,knicknacks,andwritings can be lost in a triceand can never be retrieved.This finality was like the finality of death and that gave me the courage to blog my pitiable situation .
i was expected to blog on floods maybe for asistance or bring powerful peoples attention to the floods. the long time neigh whose son studied in Russia -[-i am guessing these pshyco brain washing tactics.]
were creating quite a scene and i started to write my daily diary.This family was in forefront before ge in extracting writings from me.They know the tactics .
may be i have helped a lot of people who have lost everything by relating honestly my situation which wasn't all that bad as that boisterous family  and a grown son who acted like as if he was in panic and that we would all drown for sure ,was making it to be.
But it is not giving me any high as it was forced out of me in a artificially induced situation,current must be there for cameras to function isnt it  +grossly invading my property,privacy and mental peace?i am never going to be feted  openly or even simply acknowledged for what ever benifit may have accrued to people of tamilnadu  becuase of my diary writing .My harrassment is still going on unabated as usual .
Simply put i am being forced to act the good samaritan in times of some crisis or the other..It is giving me more pain than any gain.Let those bearing the cross do it why should i do it?Iam not in the least willing to do so.
Had some benifit accrued to people in distress because of me in a straight forward manner on my own volition, without any shadowy controls,i would have been proud of myself and be suffused with satisfaction of helping those in need  wouldn't be sounding so bitter.and short changed.

My memory is coming in bits and pieces.Am i allowed to blog because parliament is in session  and nobody dare trifle with democratic rights when it is in procedings.Great! My grand father'sefforts have not gone in vain .Any how my freedom may last only till the last date of this session then i am sure there will be a clamp down and more harrassments lined up for me.
ok back to what happened to me .In august 2014 it was put in my mind that my magalyam which i had worn since marriage and never discarded was being used to make me leak etc and it is good for me if i discarded it .i was so perplexed at the sudden secretion that i believed it and took it off and wore a thred soaked in turmeric with a turmeric tied at its end..it was after that the mega secretion project was launched and now i guess the sacred evidence of our marriage of 34 years was removed to facilitate this wierd sort of conversion.It was taken to such an extent that when i wore a gold chain embossed with lakshmi's fiure on all the coins making the chain my neck was made to feel like as if it was being slit.this happened in my house also when i wore it with warning taps from above floor ,that as a person who is being or deemed converted to islamic faith with no proper procedure followed or with my acquisence shouldnt wera such god fugurines.This charade went on till i underwent surgeries to remove any such filthy blackmail and strengthened myself physically and mentally and wore it back .whoever did this it is a black chapter in their life.and history.
Horrors of horrors i was made to secrete untimely fluids in percinits of sacred and holy temples and it was applauded by young hindus ,men with backpacks
even now the puja bell from down below is sounded whenever my hub is in midst of morning prayers and i feel heaviness in my legs or he gets the urge to visit toilet .Earlier it was rung quite often when i wasn't wearing the mangalsutra.and often felt leaky .it was rung at the precise time or few seconds after the leak like as if to announce to all the world this auspicious event of a woman coming of age!Now it is rung to commomertae hubs youthful ejections i guess in the mornings during or after the puja till noon
He too went for several tooth implants  before and after ge .more after ge.this is how we are being nastied without any let up.
The puja bell ringer would deliberately feed crow on the walls of parking lot of ufr at front of my eyes as if to say i or we both are under this muslim or someother muslims influence and control.He is warning or informing us indirectly but no one is bothered to come and explain straight away as to what is happening around us since no one is doing it i assume all this is to nasty me as i continue to write my diary which i do just for myself .Is it my fault that every tom dick and harry is given free access to it and my house and then blame and nasty me for doing what i have been doing since 12 years old --viz writing diary

The victim who is exploited cruelly and then be blamed for such exploits.!Any rational human would  see my point of view.
 i have been  consistently asking theauthorities to clean my house of bugs,caneras etc but it was never acted upon.but allowed people to invade every inch of my privacy,provoke me for reactions and then when i write it punish me if it is not to their taste.this has been going for past 4-5 years the difference after ge my blogging wsa very firmly clamped down but not my diary writing which i guess is for select few to read at will without a glimmer of guilt that it is being read without my or my hubs permission  and maybe even acted upon as a vendor conveys its effects on political class,

Observations and analysis on my situation --

First state of affairs after floods.In my flat electric connection was given bit by bit.At first only 2 phases out of 3 .then Few days back all 3 phases given and a day or two back the current to lift was given.
Is it a reward [miserly one] for extracting suitable political reactions from the additions i made to my blog moat and few tweets?

ok back to my observations on my situation .When i was soundly warned and punished for my angry retorts on the known face of my harrasser for that wretched tapping on my ceiling which in its lightness of sound is more provactive than loud noises around me,the mus family,then why was i allowed to tweet  about my leaking embarrasingly to put it bluntly salivitating at this age 58 in the presence of low and middleclassmus and that is  in the mere presence of mus -those of which i came across whilst walking or even in my flat complex shared by a quite few? why wasn't the current cut so that i may not acces the computer or net blocked?
By allowing me to do so  i was in a way allowed to tarnish an entire community as sex perverts. Is this secularism ?
My anger irritation and exasperation is at my mus neigh residing in upper floor  who was constantly vibrating my spine ,provoking etc since 2011 also i giuess it was he and his companions who taught every tom dick and harry the trick to do so and extract writings or reactions out of me i would love to see this person hauled up and punished for the  crass and brutal techniques he employed on me to make me write on and on  tecniques that made my hub a heart patient and  made me undergo 3 painful surgeries and not others of this community who are in no way connected in nastying me and my family..
This secreting in  face and pvt parts started only after that month nonstop actions [ artificial inducement by slaking, gadjets and that jamming of my head etc for a month which was dropped just before i could have completely lost my bearings,senses emotions and become robotic--even now i am unable to go within me] lost  squeeze fluids out of me from organs that have lost such workings for more than a decade ,and  i lost a lot of weight and totally fatigued .
It is those who made me sweat, leak or vibrate in mere presence of mus neigh or total strangers from low strata i came across in walks or outings who are floating theopinion through me after i started to record it in diary and then tweeted it,that every  mus is good at sex and specially so if a hindu woman is to be set right or brought around.who ever did it  and kept at it till i came on net  is doing no service to that community.

i wonder how i sweat on face when i see a unknown mus on road .is it work of gadjets or is there a gps in my tooth whose software sends signals tomake me break into sweat or leak all of a sudden in such a bizzare fashion.in short i am being tretaed like an animal --a cow after constricting my mental abilities with those month long painful attacks.
If my jammers and reprimanders are one and same they are psuedo seculars in true sense of the word and have no moral right to punish me for 'communal' thoughts or constantly watch my thoughts.

If fear after GE, was put into me by grossly playing with my body and emotions so that i may experience what the seculars think minno's feel ,fear and insecurity ,they haven't succeed in it as i continue to see those around me as my equal,sometimes more than my equal how much ever i am armtwisted to adopt an superoir patronising attitude.

The moat.

1.12.15--Tuesday 10.30am

Heard a song on Lord Muruga being played from down below.The sound of heavy rains poured as a  copious gift of god muted the song's volume.It is a warning for views as usual aired in my drawing room after watching tv the debate loksabha and wondered aloud whether rains were a curse or a gift .Settled on the latter.
The tone of the woman singer is similar to the tone of 10 rs balm seller -soft ,low yet menacing .the similarity is making me write it down as it could be yet again a warning i should take heed of.
Am in receipt of several warnings since last month specially after airing my views on intolerance at home.whenever i am just about to sleep my father appears which means an hypnotist is around and i have to jerk myself up to full wake  fullness so as to avoid its full impact .Before GE probably he was used to stir me up on humanitarian issues .Now if he comes i am sure to rave and rant against commies and minorities,etc and land myself in deeper trouble.So i am on guard .Since mind has been attacked constantly as written earlier in detail am unable to unravel the rationale behind this hypnosis its consequence -anger at people i normally never think of  and then warnings--that is to whose benifit is this hypnosis,gadgetry attacks and constant shadowing being done ? For me there is only pain and some one is gaining at my pain .
6 pm
If my father appears in my semi conscious state i should actually feel kinship with comarades as he was one of them& they were the first party i approached when i wanted to do social work after my son's death and left it coz  being a trained lawyer & rule and law bound  i didn't like the katta panchayat   done in legal aid  cell just coz a sc woman was involved, totaly blind to the fact she was also in fault  and i also shouldn't have  tussles &feel furious at mino neigh by which i mean those in my flat specially one on upper floor added to this upbringing of mine of seeing all equally without any prejudice is the influence of my husband  a very religious person ,who is equally tolerant to mino's and has no prejudice against sc' or st's .in fact it was he who encourages their free entry into my kitchen be it a sc or st maid or gas delivery men  It was also he who asked me to ignore upper floor harraser a mino  & dismissed him saying they are a little bit awry with  a tolerant look but for year or two after sensing that his wife is being exploited but unable to bead the logic is unable to stand the sight of ufr.He avoids him as otherwise ufr;s domineering ways makes his heart queasy .Not once did he a strict vegetarian fly into rage ,leave alone even wrinkle his nose in disgust at smells of meat prevading our house from their kitchen which is right on top of us,nor have i .I didnt get into any paroxym of rage nor mind the slip when a scantily clad meat seller brought a bag of it when he deliberately or other wise knocked on our door as if mistaking it for upper flat nor did my hub who was doing his puja right in the living  room itself .

Yes my  late father did share the political idealogy of communists  in here and used his power  as a high ranking bureaucrat to specially and only to help mino's-Mus, sikhs and sc's  without bending any rules  .But at same time was not blind to their faults .He was shocked when he saw the sculptures at Hampi mutilated by sultans .He was rattled by a sudden mass conversion in southern districts of TN.In tales of  some atrocities on dalits he  wasn't blind to fact that some of them  in thier new fouind arrogance  were deliberately provoking .some such instances.
First and foremost he was incorruptible,He never used his position as chief of 44 labs to line his nest .Would firmly turn away those who came with bribe for contracts .He himself scarcely used his office car and never let us use it.So he would never have entered a household to exploit  a  family so as to enhance his power or wealth or influence in such a crooked ,sly and cowardly manner.if he wanted to influence me it was done in a straight and direct manner and never forced me do things that i didn't like or if i  found it too difficult . Strong in his convictions but at same time didnt thrust it down  into my throat the way it is being done for [past few years in a highly controlled situation ..One who is assuming his role is clearly doing every thing that he wasn't and is besmirching his image and is making fun of what ever he stood for and in a way ridiculing some good facets of communists in here .

How is it that people are standing mutely watching a nice pious Hindu man's home entered into so wantonly ,his  long puja and meditations  slyily used without any compunction to control him and through that get to his wife me so that i write whatever trash they want me to? Most in here are working in private colleges ,which includes the mino;s and very few in govt or some such undertaking,it seems there it is a mutual co opertaion between the two to throw all norms and ethics and laws to the wind to continue with this dirty work of spying into another man's home ,thier neighbour for more than a decade,his children and his wife ?In which democratic country or even in any  state of india such a crazy set up be put up with conniavance or even full support of the state ?If mino's are involved in this aern't they simply asking for it? Didn't GE teach a lesson to a major party not to trifle too much with the self respect of hindu'sand not to offend hindu's even if they may not appease them?Is the cocky confidence in here  still too high which has blinded to the reality or are we expendable in local politics as kashmiri pandits were?But in there it was two comunities but in here hindu;s are in majority and ruled by  a religious hindu  ,i am sure most of them are uncomfortable at our plight but either indifference or fear of getting entangled in politics or even fear of offending mino's who are capable of violent protests if crossed , is making them all turn a blind eye and to keep quiet . strange how ufr has got away with such a despicable and perverted form of intrusion into our lives without a jot of protest from any right thinking person around. and continues to get away with it! My blogging it +tweeting about it has not shamed those abusing me nor those living above me one bit in fact it is  going on as usual . The nearby temple did alert in earlier months about me being exploited too much very cruelly to satisy a mother;s hunger and how a stolen property will not last long and will lose its fine qualities.the temple has fallen silent now after i decided to treat my house as my own ,saying enough of this unwanted purdah  in my own house. Let see how long ufr and co's spurious reign and powerful backers last. Matter of time.

explanatuion to purdah to new viewers--In 2012 when i was made to realise that mu house has become public and a policeman who came at request of my hub when i complained to him  to shattering noise on ceiling whereevr i sat or walked and groups of people neigh ,totsl strngers of lowerstrata used to clap thier hands as if to tease me when i sat or walked  in the terrace to or in park or sat in balcony and most noise came from above house he used his friends influence and brought a polceman who checked for cameras as i felt only with caneras such things could be done ,he said there were none and instead suggested that as i had lost my eldr son and my other son was away in another city i had lost my mental balance implying that i was hearing sounds  as a true nut case would though they  were not there and my hub gulped it down and treated the matter of sound nblasting my brain and strange behaviour of neigh and their peeking into our house as matter that was settled viz thare was no such intrusion as a policeman himself had checked and certified it as such and i could only be imagining it and thence forward didn't take my complaints seriously! I was so battered with stereofonic sounds from above ,fridge, &weven within my head maybe something was
   i mplanted in tooth opertaion i had few months before this sound blasting  and felt aggressive stares when i looked into the mirror or tv, deleberatly high pitched screechy humming sounds in my ears [a lingering torture  somewhat like the infamous chinese slow torture fit for a hard core terrorist or criminal to break them down ] and vibrations in my spine &in pvt parts  was used  for two months at end of which i was a bundle of raw nerves  and lost my concentration in my hobby  of translating slokas,and tamil verses and  as knockings contd like as if goading an animal to move[ and do so till today also]even whilst changing clothes or using the toilet or whilst bathing [or eating or working in kitchen , or in computer or reading,just about anything i do it is made sure that people or neigh from above flat ,occupied by its mus owners are always watching and monitoring my move and giving me their unwanted 24 hours company,more or less living along with me  that is they will give me company but i cannot give them,they will intrude in my most pvt moments but i cannot do so in reciprocity!]  At the end of that 2 months torture it struck me that since a mino neigh was doing all this so openly that is open to all except my hub and son  he must be having the backing of authorities and i observed loudly that maybe this the reconciliation that ruling party at centre [cong] is being enacted and instantly the mus neigh of above -i didnt believe him to be a mus then as i was under the impression that they will not be allowed or sent to undertake such a sensitive matter as i was blogging on religion and i connected the two and felt that no one India would dare send a mus man even if he is in govt to torture a hindu woman right in her house right under her hub's nose as it would definetly assume a communal colour ,came down accompanied by another older neigh of my floor but left without explaining why they came or what they wanted .since the tappings contd and i had lost my will to fight legally with no one to assist me or to believe me & had no evidence to prove i thought these fellows were looking down at me and in shame i started covering myself even whilst bathing, dressed in dark and for first time in my 55 long years i  was feeling a total lack of privacy,ownership of my houseand belongings and even family members ,strange but that is how i was made to be,a stranger to myself ,my age and station in my family and society.This is what i meant by 'purdah'.
In september 2015 i started going through my pile of earlier diaries so as to edit them and then store them that with a shock i realised what a fake life i was forced into since 2012 in which my memories of my middle aged life was systematically wiped out and was made to mentally live as a blooming woman  in first flush of youth and later  after ge as a helpless toddler  specially after a month of attacks of painful waves on my brain and body2014june or july  which reduced my bodies  defences and make lose control over my secretions and jammed my brain of thoughts and was compelled to take orders in form of  mild headaches with fear of loss of life to family if i didn't obey and also keep of net tv papers and after a induced  fluid discharge  for whole of september was made clear that if i dare tell my prayers or even go near a hindu god;s image i will have a sticky discarge,[whichh left  after my uterus operation but liquids cotd in temples etc and now after claiming my house as my own irritations still continue ]and no outings,tours,and shouldnt wear silk sarees .mangalsutra,jewels,dress even more in dark  and should never tell my daily prayers .ok after readaing my 2004.5 diary i shook myself from these strange invisible chains and said go to hell .This is a country and house and family  which is mine where i was as free as the next person and i am going to treat my house as own and deliberately dressed with full lights on in front of mirror for first time in 4 years and went for my usual morn walk to ttd temple and was swiflty  punished for exhibiting my freedom .was made to fall on the main road and scraped my knees and nearly broke a tooth .since then i started to use my house as my own ,thouhh i am still nastied , tappings on ceilings even,whilst bathing iritations in pvt parts if  i wear hindu gods'image or go near a pic  all the while heaping abuses on the persons who have reduced me to this level  in a lovely country in which i was as free as the wind  even at the height of my sudden grief of losing my son.i had no such crazy unbelievable shackles.to my movement or thinking or worship. Which sadistic pervert did this to me?Hope that person or persons gets it back in full measure .The gall to attempt conversion in a sordid manner of  a woman [may be my hub also] who hails from a long lineage of scholars versed in vedas and so on  in  the only country where my religion hinduism is practised gives  me a rage which is impotent ,since i and my family have been given a blow so repulsive as well as insidious that we can hardly get up ,so weakened we are mentally and spirituall;y i can only rage on the net.
1
my very painful tooth implant,then jaming my head for a month with painfully cruel attacks  and then make me discharge fluids for a month that reduced me to a jelly are the three main procedures done on me to break my confidence in me and faith in neigh and govt and all the things i took as guarenteed  for granted for so many years of my life,i am being made to feel like a alien in my own land  !whose handiwork is this? i am sure it of those who feel that they donot belong to this land nor that it is sacred  nor are they proud of democracy nor are they willing to abide by laws,ethics and dharma and seem to be extremely violent as they are using  brainwashing tactics on a defenceless family in a land famed for non violence.who ever did this to us are bringing great disrepute to this ancient civilisation with a modern democracy. 
Viewers what i am relating is what happened to me .others -millions are enjoying their freedom ,leading a very normal life as i used to before i started to blog .This is specific to me .

At times i wonder if all this is being done to us because my hub is a  pure hindu right with unabashed  and very vocal affection and loyalty for our present pm  since the days of he became chief minister   in a flat populated by mus  or even by hindus who may not have liked his open  admiration in those early years 2002 onwards when we first came here.and may have tried to rub his nose down, by slyliy taking over his property and wife  May be they are still at it as he is a very firm hindu right .The opposite tenements are highly politisiced .
when i think of ufr prying into my daily activities i get quite angry thinking he is keeping his wife in burkha but is very freely watching another man's wife .He told me once that he was here to control me!must be thru cameras.Would he allow my hub to control his wife? That thought will never cross my hubs mind of that i am sure and proud of.I am sure there are also hindu's who are watching me in my house how is that these hindu's who have tied a mangalsutra on thier wives neck and are assured that no other man will take hold of her  aren't honouring the one tied by thier hindu neigh and impinging  and disrespecting this sacred custom at will ?
Even if it is woman who are watching my intimate moments again what right do they have to invade my privacy ?it is pure brain washing tactics to remove the feeling of i from me and dumb me down .and make beg for favours  and become  like cattle to be herded, like a  prisoner who is being brainwashed to lose his or her identity  when all this are my inalienable rights and i and my family are happy with my original identity
and no one except maybe politicians or some groups are not comfortable with.
If all this web of deceit and control is becuase of my blogging what gives any one any right to stop me from doing so?was that why so much fuss was made about specs and was constantly nastied so that i will discard it in horror and never read or blog and had to undergo cataract operation even before time ? now i can read net easily without specs and am typing without it .Who is so scared of my blogging?

Before ge ufr the one sent to control me didnt like my blogs on hinduism  as well as in public affairs .specially on hinduism.why ?1000's of people write on it so why me?why couldn't my posts on hinduisnm as experienced by me wasn't welcome in a predominatly hindu country? did my blogs prove more influential than others?So was i expected to let go of sharing my experiences?Experiences constitute hinduism and why shouldn't i being a hindu discover them on my own or through books or articles?why was i expected to round off the true facets of hinduism either in translation or in my personal experiences? ,why should i do so?To please the seculars .aethiests and mino's?This is  tyrany of thought control.And  since ufr is a muslim i will say and think that he is  communal. That he and  his family enjoyed teasing me and enjoyed invading my privacy as they have little or no respect for my religion or customs.And those hindu's who did it are bending backwards to nasty and disrespect thier own religion and customs to please whom?.

                                               The 4 long years of harrasment , constant monitoring, constant parading of dark ,thin ,handicapped people and rag pickers and mino's and others  only from from lower strata ,that to dirtily clad ones   evesdropping ,provocations by tapping on my ceiling,glares that are offensive & not curious, from opposite tenements when i go near the window or balcony  or walk on street or in dramas cinema halls trains,buses,park temples ,relatives houses ,marriages has made me breach my level of tolerance and am giving opposite reactions to my true nature .So much so that i have developed an allergy to mino's, sc's darkies and handicapped's as they are being constantly rubbed into my life in a very very negative , offensive , rude and crude manner.Obviously all these people are doing  all this glaring etc as they have been ordered to do so  probably to make my life as hellish as possible without a moment of relaxation,meditation and introspection and thus lose my originality.
Nor are we strictly sectarian as it is sought to be projected.Being a Tamil it is but natural for us to pay obseince to Lord Muruga  son of siva or amman or shakthi wife of siva  along with our kula and prime Venkateshwarar.The primacy naturally to Narayana or Maha vishnu being Srivaishnavaites by birth.                                                                                                                                                            The original thinking and views of mine seems to rattle politicians.

At times i boil with anger and want to confront my constant harrassers whether they have ever helped handicapped people the way i have?Did so for several years.Are they living cheek to cheek with mino's and have no issues with them or blow issues up ,for so many years nearly 14 the way all of us do here?Can they move as freely and without any prejudice with them the way i can?Did i ever run up to upper floor and say don't read your religious books or blog it when they interfered  in my readings and writings and tried to stop me and finally succeeded?I hardly read any books for fear of being nastied through my reading glasses nor visit temples as i once did freely all over india as my hub was deliberately weakened and emotionally distanced from me .Have these harrassers ever touched a sc from very low strata the way i have without any revulsion or prejudise?I would have continued to be the same person that i was so would have my hub if not for this invasion into my privacy,thoughts[teeth clip] and lifestyle as well as into his..
        Writing my diary in candle light as electricity was cut at 1 pm.Road outside is flooded for the first time  in these rains
2.12.15--Wednesday--

Brother rang up day before yesterday inquiring about our well being in here at chennai  Said we are fine.Not a drop of water on our road ,everything normal.Was made to eat back those the very next day viz yesterday itself when it started raining since morning and became heavy at noon .Again nothing unusual .it has been  raining for nearly a month  with a spell of few dry days inbetween
In fact on our trip to tirupati in middle of Nov when our train was confirmed at the last 12 hours ,before, the road the auto took to the station was bone dry and only a  few ditches, ponds ,tanks on wayside  to Tirupati were filled with water and were  not brimming.In fact we encountered  heavy rains at Tirumala and an unheard of announcement in mike was made ,inviting pilgrims to have darshan in a hours time as rains had prevented many from visiting the temple.room &bed in Ashram was damp .Next morn was dry and had a good darshan after attending a kalayana utsavam  which was however packed with people who had all booked earlier like we had done.As we left the hills rain started to ,very heavy and was  lashing even as we boarded the train .Back to Chennai which was comfortingly dry and cozy !
Ok back to yesterday viz 1.12.15 .rain as usual but a bit heavy but what was unusual was that the road outside started overflowing with water.Current was cut at noon .So no tv for updates .Actually was nore bothered about debate in parliament than about state of Chennai,as i was still in the comfort zone
Darkened quickly inside in  evening ,by 5 pm ,used all the few candles kept on reserve for a power cut that never lasted for this long .Then lit the agal villakkue/s--small oil lamps i had lit on karthigai  festival and had not yet stored them   in the loft ..Though no street lights. the sky wasn,t dark ,it looked like it was lit up with some hidden light or refraction  and i could see out cleraly.The water kept rising and entered the gates and  started to run around  our flats .A sudden flurry of activity in a neighbourhood and flats that had become silent without any tv or net on around 9 pm .Neighbours were putting gunny bags with sand to protect the electric meters at the ground level as water was fast rising.All this done with torch light.
Switched on my transister radio and was terribly disappointed .A one line about rains in Chennai and that it was heaviest in several years and that it would continue.flat! No other information .No warnings ,unlike decades back when a.i r.kept giving hourly news about a huge cyclone's [1985 ]path and the precautions we need to take ,specially fishermen.
Chided the indifference of AIR at such a calamatious situation .In times of information why was there such a sketchy info'specially with current cut .Heard it was cut through out the city,with no access to tv or net ?
I am much better off than my  neigh's who don't even have a transistor for info.I am the old timer cherishing relics from past and it did me a good turn .could hear news and also music for entertainment when all the modern modes collapsed .but youngsters were using their mobiles[ but this too conked of later ]
wick light diner and sleepless night mainly owing to noise made by some persons from opposite shop.They were talking but it carried very loudly may be the water did it.
Today morn a lot of commotion .Opposite side residents as bemused as i was by the water on street .Knee level.The water around our flat has risen.Ground floor neighs have escaped ,so far.A lot of noise all around as all are at home.None, barring a few youngsters from tenements ventured out to work.
No current .Switched on transy.Heard army &navy  are out at Tambaram to rescue and PM as usual has risen to the occasion at the correct point of time and has assured all help to TN people..Then other news.Felt frustrated .Bub rang up giving news from tv he was seeing at Delhi mainly tamil channels.Asked us to be careful
Only one police van went down the street.Chaffed at this parisomny then reasoned other places are more severely hit.
FM AIR was playing music when i switched it on after an hour.!Got wild and as usual let of to my hub who goes deaf whenever i do so.An switch off he has honed to perfection since our marriage decades back
Then again tried other stations .some pvt fm channels were giving info mainly distress calls from various parts of chennai --places with 8-10 feet of water!Old ,ill people as well as pregnant women marooned without food &water
We are much better off At 2 pm a communist van came ploughing thru the waterand distributed the food .
All are well off herein tenements but some are not it was help to them .No other party came by.
so commies also have risen to the occasion .Not bad.This is the social service i expect of them and not shadowing behind me and  pshycho harrasing me.
3pm -no current rain stopped at 12.
Back to Ranchi days of late 8o's where powercut and watercut used to last for more than a week and had to catch water falling of the roof and rely upon hurricane lamps .
Heard from some pvt fm channels who are doing a good service at this needful hour that chennai is declared as a disaster zone .
Hearing the various non stop SOS on transi ,it seems so.
Though rains have halted water conversely is rising on street and  in flat.
Was bub right when he said that water from overflowing adayar river could reach and flood us?and had advised me to stock food and vege.That time there was very little water on the street so didnt take much note .But now water is rising.He warned of backwater.Can't  the water on street below and in our compound be pumped out? Like bub said if sea itself rejects and pushes the water back what can be done ?

3.12.15 Thursday.

Had a good sleep and woke up at 5 in morn.Shone the torch below.Water had risen shoulder high .Thank god the couple with a small kid had moved up to the adjoining flat  in our floor that was vacant last night itself.
Yesterday as the water kept rising i asked them to come up to our house and move into the kids room which is free.They were still hoping that water wouldnt rise .So did we as rains had stopped yesterday itself.But surprisingly water from knee level rose upto waist level.the neigh in adjoining flat waded through this water yesterday so as to be with her father living a few kms away in a higher floor and drier area.her house was free and another neigh on same floor took her permission to let them in as the couple may hesitate to impose  themselves upon us if they had to shift in with one of us.They finally moved up paying heed to our alarmed calls from our landing as we watched the water rise around their flat rapidly .The watch man in whose shelter a viper had entered a few nights back and then disappeared mysteriously in the day, took shelter in the stairs.
Went to bed thinking if water rose the watchman would alert us but at same time felt that it wouldn't rise to our floor.
ok back to 5 am ,today.after seeing water level went to bed ,heard  a call to the faithful's and soon after crows made  a ruckus. alarm & panicky crowing.I drifted of to sleepand my father kept coming as if in a dream or vision Alarm bells like the parked submerged cars in our and also next compound that kept giving out shrill and loud burglar alarmtill late last night.Was he informing of my  rapidly impending tryst  with pitru's or was it hypnosis?Must be latter .So woke up and also woke up hub who was in deep sleep.The alarmed calls of crows means it is something to with R.Harm to him.
Dawn broke .scooter,mobikes of youngsters f opp side all submerged .A man walked .Water was chest high.
Other g floor neigh have gone to relatives houses or to upper floor.in the next block.
Made tea for watchman  and for the couple .thanks to milk delivered yesterday.Some kids swimming in water.
Herad news on my transi the only sourc e of info'as no current that ndrf was sent on war footing and chennai is a disaster zone.Not a single boat in sight nor any info relayed on megaphone to assure us.
Kids are having fun but what about elderly with heath probs.I havent bought provisions for this month and have to manage with last months balance.Even if i go out herad all shops are under water,so rice, medicine etc could be wet destroyed .Bubs advise to stock food good but cant implement it now..ok for us twoprovision swill last for a week with  a bit of rationing,what about others around us?
Head that rise of water is due to release of water rom a lake that is 20-30 kms away.it is flooding that dirty drain ,Coovam which is stone throw away.Is it flooding us?Some say that main road after half km is dry and so are few other localities.So why are we flooded? Is it coz it is low lying?Who would have imagined such a pass to come about?
Few days back was chaffing in frustration at the nature f my diary being public.What a turnaround for us.If it is still public[ then it means that current is not cut and are kept deliberately in dark as a policeman 4 yrs back said that closed circuit cameras cannot function without current whatever just this one time - i wrote this  on 8.12.15 as i realised this fact only after few hours of writing this sos] ]i can think it as a boon to tell our probs to outside world and hope it will be acted upon and bring us relief.boats for people to go to safer places and food for those who stay behind specially in opp side and clean water for us,
Even as i write this asking for help a hope that water will recede is there and my  confidence to be self reliant is playing at back of my mind making me hesitate to ask for help even though it is a extra ordinary situation that has never visited us all these years[prob i was hypnotised to ask for help as in my next diary my anger is there for making me do so]
ok what if water reaches our floor?we all have to move up and i must take documents,dry clothes .really even to imagine it is hard.Not that bothered about gadjets but definetly about that which is perishable and can never be restored like photo's and other memoribolias that are links to my past .,family etc .Our  identity itself?
It is like a earth quake or fire ,only that it is in former loss is swift in latter it is slow.
9 am --bub rang up.He is watching sun tv in which they are making appeals for impartiality.
A coin clicked .This is dmk area so is assistance lagging?are we caught in politics?Or is rescue teams -local too stretched?He said naval ship Airavat has landed in the port .army will also help just wait for few hours.
Actually if the dirty Coovam that has become clean and then dirtied us .stops flooding then no problem.for us at first floor.Can't go out .which was how i was ,stuck in the house for nearly a month as i didn't trust my balance to hold in rain splattered slippery streets with some fellows  constantly out there in the streets to vacum the back of my spine & head and make me dizzy and and make me fall on the road.Just went out once or twice ,to type my latest booklet of aazhwars pasurams/hymns on thiruvallur and to laminate vid's  photo as the glass frame of the original one was being used for nastying us. In my house reflection from glasses is the mine field i have to always guard against.what a pass!

Is my membership to bjp also cause of this indifference  or my right leaning with a caustic tongue?Should others around me suffer for my leanings??Hope not.Maybe Amma's resources are too stretched .We'l just wait hoping that water doesn't rise further and also that it doesn't rain.
Got a call from hub's neice from US. Anxious for our safety.She couldn't contact r's sisters in w.mambalam .they are also flooded.She recollected that Katrina hurricane's devatation.Yesterday when we called them they had  no prob. Now i am thinking of my nephew &neice in other parts.how are they ?They all were fine few days back but now everything has changed.Quite a deluge!
11.20Am--Another coin clicked.since this is dmk area why isn't that party getting its act together?They can hire boats and distribute essentials.Fm chennai live hat was doing a wonderful job yesterday was giving phone lines to ntl &ola boats.No one is in sight.Leaving politico's aside ,big orgns known for public service can help.not a single one in sight.
Started to drizzle.Water slowly receding to hip level.
5pm --Few mts back ufr and family left to their other house.for first time i am seeing them as a family.They way they got on to a inflated black raft with  a policeman in it was tricky and funny. May be knockings on ceiling will stop.That elder boy lifted his mother effortlessly whilst ufr clambered on to it  in a ungainly manner & tumbled into it which was so funny making me as well as the policeman on the raft laugh..What a comic   relief .And this man wants to control me as he haughtily claimed in 2012!  watched from balcony
Earlier lfr family  left wading through chest high water to thier parents place at 12 pm .Then another family left .that girl with her newly delivered baby and another toddler and her parents to relatives house.
Many left but we are stil here.where else to go?Water has receded a bit .maybe others left fraring another deluge.at 2pm heard a heli.was it pm?after that north indian youths distributed food on opp side and also some body else Then a funny sight around 4 pm a boat glided down the road Proper one!Wondered why a rope wasn't tied on road side for people to hold and walk safely like it was done in mumbai,when i saw that girl with infant walking in swirling waters without any support.to hold.
So many youths but all are in their own world.none of them came forward to help couples with small children to wade out.Neither from my flat nor from opp side.Missed my sons.Surely they would have helped their neighs--weak one's in this situation.i can command them but not my neigh's sons or those on opp side.
Crows making a terific din
Another day of no current.Drinking water running short.Isn't this flat full of intels.not one is coming forward to organise basic service to all those around.As indiff as others .

Have become allergic to people with specsaround meas it is being used to wage a psycho war on me .
When ufr left ,the sons walked .A thin young man with specs came on opposite side of the road immediately that older boy who is rude to me laughed and turned deliberately and said goodbye  watchman a dark man, laughingly.Some delusional work.So current is there for those using it but have kspt it dark. Geting fed up of this specs, back scratching, hypnosisand suggestions.
Was it for 1000crores?that is make me write about the 'grave situation'?hub didn't find our situation all that grave and was taking it in his stride .Was i made to over react?What amount will suffice?sld i keep on writing till then?
Come to think of it now aid came only after pm 's visit ended.Were all ordered to keep off till then?

4.12.15--Friday.
Good tidings.Water has receded to ankle level and milk available at a depotCorner shop ope.People busy on street.
Funny.I was harrassed and teased by showing water cans by those around me .For past few days nature teased them all with shoulder high water,house arresting all of them .What  a joke.Is this karma?Must be from my point of view.
The excitement and anxiety of the day before  absent  yesterday once water started to recede,
Another aspect though my entire  routine was upset since 2012 with active participation  of all around me i was sticking to my routine  i have been following since marriage.even bathing in cold water of quarter bucket before lighting the puja lamp in morn whilst others were  too overwhelmed by their routine going awry and kept on talking and mooning around,even hub dropped his routine.I.Like those violinists who stuck to their routine on the sinking titanic ship by playing thier violin i too stuck to my routine for  a feeling of normalcy tho' attacked by hypnosis and crude invasion of my thoughts from above, not being spared even in a   abnormal situation..
What did they want?That pm sld visit?was it pm or the person they wanted to arm twist?he wld have visited any way .Did they want to shake the centre and bjp?

Many. have left to better environs. The highly humane' family of ufr has deliberately left  behind 2 petticoats and dupatta hanging in above clothesline so that water from it can drip and wet our clothes.One sided humanity and sensitivity.That family is a nice eg for the abov.e.
Bad tidings---Water for drinking and cooking viz can water even with rationing has gone down.Stench from water around.no current.only source of info transi hope the battery lasts.hub needs heart medicine.what is the state of my booklet and photo's.
Now pvt fm has stopped sos relay and AIr fm is doing it.heard it yesterday.but the rj's were not even tempered nor gently assuring ,unlike the one's on pvt fm.rattled off help lines in such a speed that it was tough to note it down.
Heard an army man's take .Very clinical and down to earth.Nice and credible.Rampant encroachments on water bodies blocking natural drainage,lack of state disaster force ,error in judgement in release of water from dams.and rounded it saying hope it doesn't rain more ,it is in god's hands.

11.30.am--Water completely drained off the concrete road.Wondered about my earlier house at Porur.when i visited it after a gap of 13 yeras  a month back,it looked sort of sunk.The road has been raised so water may have gone into it. Remember my father saying that water entering into home in adayar  during rains  was coz of raising of roads constantly.bub gave an explanation concrete roads have a long life but how will those with connections make money if they don't keep on laying inferior roads?hub too same view.
All repairing mo'bikes car etc
What was lacking was lack of info'When vendor could announce with  mega phones at drop of angavastram /towel about --
1.My effect of writing on politics
2.Warning of punishment for hurting  political sensitivity of  a minor section  + for critising political leaders,why couldnt the same be done to inform all of us to take precautions with life and property that water was being let off from a dam?
I got to know it from bub in Delhi who was watching news and correctly made some deductions.I didn't believe him because he is not the  authority
Are sensitivities of  a section and politics  more important than life and property?
Have observed that before ge and also state elec as well as after that if i dared express my frank appraisals of performance or rebut their views i will invite swift punishment .Earlier i was only  blogging ,now i have stopped it for  year  and am speaking in my house.& writing diary.Having been taught a lesson in since june2014 -sept end i was careful not even to write my honest opinions and the pain i was made to undergo for doing so even  in my diary for fear of hurting my family -life and reputation.
A neigh from uuflr graciously off loaded kgs of potatos on the remaining few neigh as he and his family left .He must have had a sack ful of it but didn't have the heart to part with it when we were all in need of vegetables yesterday and day before.
The can water some one supplied was just like bore water-- salty.Sun is shinig .no rain no current.

For me water logging of roads is nothing new .Had happened often at the suburb we lived and it stagnated so long and the  houses were so few that fishes used to hatch and swim and be caught by boys for meals from nearby slum .but level didnt rise alarmingly when water was let out from dams.Even tho' no info from authorities ,only hearsay and later newspaper.Somethings never change in changing Tamilnadu.
Why am i writing on and on?Getting fed up of it and am getting angry at those who are extracting my views,opinions and imaginations.Those who are doing it in such a dirty & nasty manner with scant regard to my time,needs,privacy,family ties will never prosper.That is guarenteed.Let it be media or politicians or seculars or conversionists.Nasama poividuveenga.100% sure

How long will my pain bring gain?There will be reversal of fortunes.Have lived long and experienced a lot to observe so convincingly.It is a matter of time.

Son rang up from office .sounded monotonous and low. Sounded a lot like vid when he wld call late at night from office .poor boy is being over worked ,i guess .He inquired.Observed and crossed swords at  each others attitude and got our respective confidence back.Me ,for his non involvment and he for my indulging in self pity, panic,when i was actually safe, sound and healthy and for making too much fuss.
For past few days apart from crows making a lot off a panicky din several goats smalland big specially small ones were bleating miserably.Are we the scape goats?If so above observation that the cycle will catch up the cruel explioters   holds good for those making us one.

5.12.15--Saturday 10.30 pm.
Not a drop of flod water in compound &street and not a drop of water in tap as.No current.Lighting the oil wicks.
Evening set out to ttd temple by walk  walk for exersice.no luck ,it started to rain so took a auto Some streets flooded a bit more than it normally is .Temple dry. Bought two books on Hinduism .one for myself and another for the young man  who asked me for  a book.on hinduismWas really surprised that such a young person is interested in religion/hinduism  ,that is how it originated and what it is,forgetting that i also used to read Gita, ,upanishads etc since youth and lerant more about hinduism in BA hist and in family law  but no man,family, friends,class mates whom i knew at that age,ever did.hub exception. Bought rice,candles .All available in a nearby shop.
Garbage all over .Cleaning going on.

Neta's local reps have started to distribute water etc Now no water,What those N.indian boys and some others did was tough wAding thru chest high water in a unfamiliar place with cold rain pelting in pitch dark and distributing food and water.Tho aid very limited admire their service at such a tough time.very few left in flat.Maybe lack of current is cause of exodus. we are drawing water from sump with bucket i used at porur well! Some came to clean up in the morn.The most hit are those in ground floor.stinking silt,fridge,cots etc damaged and fear of infection
.The couple with infant grand child also came.whilst drawing water.i asked them as to why they took such a risk of leaving the place in chest high water.they cld have waited to recede.They said the infant was fast developing an allergy and needed medical attention and that tho they tried several help lines no help or boat came.It was heart stopping to see the frail girl who was in bed rest and her thin mother carry the premature baby in swirling waters.
Only ufr and family were transported in that black boat They  waited in waist high water when they could have easily walked .they must be same age of that couple with grand child or even younger.Prestige?just who is he?They were behaving like a infirm old couple tho' younger than me and many of us.Am sure the boat with police came for him and family .vip?After that boat didn't come .The scales went down .The couple, that was lording over me teasing my lethargic and inhuman ways  didn't have it in them to face adverse situations stoically nor did their  well built kids pitch in to help neigh.
Both bubs rang up so did cousin .They were all overwhelmed by pictures on tv,We in the hub of it didn't watch a single shot and was overwhelmed --me only by lack of info'and not by the adversity.affecting us personally.

since ufr and co left  no loud knocks on ceiling.but some very muted ones.So that flat is still used.see strangers --young men,maids all unknown slip away quietly from the gate on and off.Suspicion       that they are being used against me in psycho war.
The boisterous neigh also left today.so only 4 families in this flat and 4 in next block.it appears like a ghost flat --dark,silent and mysterious
crows as in past few days constantly crowing together.in morns.
Even had a argument with hub.him not taking  me  for temple tours when he said he refuses to do so since i am more interested in writing about it and then blogging it than in the spiritual aspect and then complain about harrassment I replied that i have been writing since 12 ,about travel,pub affairs ,society .see my old diaries. it was for myself.it was coz of vid i came on net and when i saw that me a dumg down person with no audience save only vid since our marriage,was having so many takers [maxi 40], it encouraged me to blog.
Do you know i have now more than 3 lakh viewership after i stopped blogging but i am not tempted to blog as i was too mentally tortured, fera put in me after ge and my originality squashed and also realised that i may be mouthing others views  due to this hypnosis, people casing us, gadjetry use,provocations with aim of extraction extreme reactions not in tune with my actual views on  a topic in pub affairs  and to keep away from toxic influence of vengencefilled mino's and seculars who were making me feel and react in the manner in which they wanted without allowing me to visit net to get the view of the other side  to 'communal 'happenings in india.My flat has quite a few such  lads of mino community and seculars who could be vengeful ,detest my writings and hate the current dispensation at the centre and they could have tampered  with the electric connection or have been given permission by authorities to do so.
Now i am doing it coz this is experience is one in a life time.and  i also got back some of my confidence. back .From my constant thirst for knowledge about my religion, history , travel, stories and literature by authors from all over the world i have been diverted to such silly things as casing, and controversial subjects like conversion,sectaranism, communalism etc  in which i have no interest at all, in a systematic manner.

6.12.15-sunday9.30.am
No current.It is given in next road that has water .is it deliberate?Not fair on elderly and those with kids.How long can they adjust with relatives?
three spectacled youths came in morn asking specifically for my door no and said if we wanted to shift to Bbangalore we could go along with them as they had by car with relief materials and were going back this noon.I was slightly tempted .why not be with son?
Hub came in and said no we'll manage here.Curious i asked Alvina a young woman and her Iyer companions how they got to know about us.they said they were in IT and some how got to know thru 'face book
She  tooka snap of us.me in my nighty.They left.
Now a days i am quite suspicious or have been made to be suspicious of what could might well be innocent or ordinary.so was suspicious whether it was on net or is my diary live and some one has sent them .They are not son's friends.Then there is current as that policeman said circuit cameras cannot work without current "Adaadha mazhai peidhalum vida dha nadaiperum-"--tamil proverb. meaning Even if it rains heavily constantly it will be conducted.
What is worse is the harrassment and casing even in extremely abnormal situation/calamity .Another eg of lack of humanity and total selfishness for gains --media,politico's or groups?
Son' s friend had come  down from Bangalore said my son couldn't get away owing to Jap exam.No wonder he sounded low.Are  screws being applied on him as well? who is gaining in such a sadistic manner ?Don't they have families?What if they were also subject to such constant needling for some one elses gain ?Will they realise only then?
Maid brought pump water from opp side

I asked hub why can't party workers help in relief?He
 said they are habituated to receiving money for any work done ,will they suddenly do this thankless work with no monetary returns all of a sudden?
oh no ! ufr has returned.Thought he had shifted for good .Luck doesn't last long .all nastiness will start again.

bub rang up warning us to be careful of water It must be mixed with sewage ,pesticide etc .
Same thing can be said of my pshyche and emotions in past 4 yeras  t,to write as per dirty, perverted,fearful thoughts and views of those capable of influencing me with psycho tactics to either be a vehicle of thier fear and anger and nasty myself with stupid confessions and dirty whatever name and regard i may have had in the net .
It is raining .the muck has been cleared from our gate and has been deposited at front of opposite J block ,right in front of my view from the bedroom window.

At noon those kids total strangers from Bangalore came with provisions rice ,juice etc I didnt like it as we can afford to buy it all  from shops and was also suspicious of political angle so was a bit abrupt.Hub took it to distribute to opp side dwellers.They left.Later cooling down, i kept 2 water bottles and 2 friuts in recognition of their efforts and offer of transport to Bang . Distributed the rest.All taken in jiffy.

ruminated about myself.My entire time is taken in trying to find a solution to this constant nastying of my bodily parts and curbs on my religious freedom .how to escape it .how to escape this highly invasive control.instead of enriching myself with knowledge through reading on net or books.if i use reading glasses i will be nastied .if i go out have to be careful of my balance .some one or the other .only lower strata people would be there to use gadjets to make me light headed and forget .it also happen sin house.So some one has succeeded in removing my only power and source of my confidence viz knowledge .constant stinging for 4 yera s or more
8pm
Heard news on transi as no current .CM has spoken on army day about their sacrifice.Fine but why a deafening silence when calamity struck?Not a single word of assurance from her or her ministers.Didn't write this earlier ,tho' was airing it,as i didn't want to provide food for opposition  and indulge in politics at the time of crisis and was also a bit wary of her minions and cadres wrath. But that lacuna is there as she is  cm and therefore leader of all in here and not just her party men.
Today when normalcy is returning it doesn't matter if she speaks or not.
7.12.15 Bright sun .went for morn walk.festive atmosphere in flat.as there was hope of getting current .got it exactly at 1pm.
Panic and gloom tata..