Mind cutting-- 2.10.17--Diary

Today the early morning sky was laden with glossy silvery  white  fluffy clouds .The sky is pastel blue.Cursed my fate for having to do with these few snatches of nature as transmissions cut it all short abruptly and wondered at the utter selfishness of those doing it and thier lack of shame in  announcing immediately thier disappointment or triumph over it, through street vendors hawking vegetables or fruits etc loudly with a mega phone

Hauled myself up calling Narayana to help me get up from the floor Immediately i herad atap on my ceiling like as if i was calling them! Wondered ,what links do Muslims have with Nrayana ,NothingThen remembered the person who lives above them He is a Aiyar and of late is often criss crossing my path when i go out.Maybe he is the one who is responding  to common god Naryana All our three houses are identical.But the tap makes me feel like as if my immediate neighbour is awknowledging .
What dirty trick this hypocrite hindu has played on me in pursuance of his concept of secularism.Maybe had done it since 2012 by fostering an unnatural friendship with  selectively bleeding heart  upper floor resident!

When i went out for a walk this Aiyar came in opposite direction  .Looking pious with  a slash of vibhuti He was a very low keyed person and i had always seen him as a harmless and  a nice neighbour.till ofcourse 2012.

Dropped my alertness whilst walking regarding as to who was following me or who which  parked car a has aerial .Too much alertness takes away my enjoyment of this leisure + exercise

I thought let anyone follow me .Am i going to be made a MP or MLAto be so careful.Let a even a naxal follow me .so what?What i am basically i am .Why should i care for some oneelses guilt of weakening me ?

Then i started to think of that Aiyar A dog started to bark from a house Its alert didn't register..I continued walking and thinking quite angrily =what if his daughter falls in live with thier adjacent Muslim neighbours son and gets married to him? There are so many good looking brahmin girls in my flat what if they fall for equally good looking muslim youths or christian youths in other flats .Can they take it? Maybe 10 years from now that girl may fall for any of them and marry one.Only then he will realise what he did to me was wrong.All concepts of psuedo secularism , re conciliation etc   so grandly stated  will be thrown to the winds when it actually comes to bite one .

A thin girl had passed me by a little while ago on a cycle .I continued thinking about all the hypocrites who had foisted reconciliation etc on me  forcibily and with dirty tricks and was hoping that they all would be put to disruption of thier security and family life with thier daughters or sons having such liasons .Our flat has a both hindus and muslims [quite strange .Probably they all work together and we are the only outsiders  ] so why shouldn't marital ties not take place, I was actually wising it does so as to serve them right.

As i wa sthus thinking a married young woman came from behind me laughing in to her mobile So she was making me furious  I spat on the road at her mirth.She walked on without turning back.Few feet away was that thin girl returning on her cycle on my left side.felt like spitting on the road on seeing her  .Her conversation  on her mobile came loud and clear.in Tamil'-when such thoughts come in mind it must be cut' .

That made m eeven more furious.Who are these people to censor my thoughts?This lowly girl?Couldnt be.It was some one else Most probably the keepers of law and order.Who ever that is just how clean is her or his mind?Was a test done on them to certify  them to be Pure and Clean so as to observe and clip my thoughts?
What is the standard for good and bad thoughts?It is very subjective and very onesided

If i get angry at my neighbours including my immediate ones within myself and  console myself in my belief in workings of karma it is a bad thought.But if i harrangue politicians specially at the centre ,it is a good thought .Iam immediately rewarded with gushing water in my metro tap which has been quite dry since we came.If  i have thoughts that is expression of my ire at bai problem and curse my Karma for landing in these flats   the tap will go dry .My revengeful thoughts on Aiyar was rewarded with full flow of water. when i opened tap on coming back
In this brain washing and controlling of my thought process even Kimjong of North Korea will pale into insignificance.To those people doing it will see this as a compliment .How can one expect otherwise of those in here who consider reading mein kamph as being Intellectual and heap praises on  Hitler.!Many youngsters and oldies say  it openly on tv

At least that Kim doesnt go around saying we are democracy etc but those doing it on me harp on it and benifit from it .PSuedo democrats.

I have not absolved my immediate Muslim neighbour of his dirty role.He has and maybe still uses gadjets and stands behind me;from his balcony when i am down maybe in reflections in showcase glass door or mirrors to substitute or replicate my husband .Replicating my husbands role was and is the dirtiest of all tricks played on me when my nerves were frayed in 2012 owing to sound torture

After cooling down i remembered that this aiyar leaves home very early and returns late .from work .So it could be some one else .Any one  from  immediate upper floor. There are so many trooping up and down each day to that flat .