Nature's last laugh-------27.9.17
I went through this diary writing of 27 .9 17 and found out that i am a better at diary writing than at writing articles It is straight from the heart without any inhibitions.Probably this explains the demand for my diary writing i guessed it and try holding back from writing it as much as possible.The very fact that i have this urge to write down even mundane things like my medical report alerts me .I have never written about my health check up in the umpteen times i have done before in my life .Next my trips to beach I have made several in past decades ,so what is this insormountable urge making me want to write it now?When i was thus contemplating in the morning after that beach trip heard pseudo liberal's artificially crooning voice as if coaxing me to write. It immediately sent alarm bells If i acceded i know from past experience that it would be for following--1.To make a fool of myself and make me lose whatever little respect i have .2. It could be used politicians . I also heard the muted voices of squirrels and i knew they had set me up in such a way that i have to write
It is a battle of wits and will power I held on for a week 19---27th. They generally win It frustrates me when men play God.It was blooming of the arasamaram --fig tree and subsequent rainfall that filled me with exhiliration .How much ever these people trifle with nature like reading my mind , injecting suggestions. emotions into it at will or control my body and make it perform unnatural stuffs they cannot do the same with true essence of nature .
last time i had asked can you all make a bird sing They showed that they can make every bird in my vicinity sing .but i doubt if this cycle of nature would be artificially created just to make a fool out of me and to show thier prowess .I have observed that they achieve what appears as amazing to ordinary people like us is only through destruction ==like destruction of tissues , glands organs etc and not through creation .
Diary ---27.9.17
Did a freak test in the park after morning walk.The instant readings showed a very high level of both of the silent killers .[ i had written the readings in my diary but am refraining here] a week or so back.
Me & sugar?I couldnt believe it.I thought i had skipped that jinx which runs in my family.I didn't have it 2 years back when i did that cataract surgery and i am hardly the worrying kind..Having BP is ok i always had it for long though it had become normal since 2009 and the doc cut down the tablets .i didn't have it 2 yeras back also when i did a complete test for cataract surgery.
So went to a general doctor.There are scarcely any around these days.He ordered tests They confirmed that instant test 's results .Have sugar, fat and bp in moderately high levels..Echo test revealed that my heart was strong ,the only silver lining.[so far it seems to have withstood artificial pressures caused on it by flights- auditory masking and gadgets aimed at it for past 5 years]
Doc prescribed medicines and asked me to change my sedentary life style and walk . I have been walking ever since i was 35 ,I had slowed down my pace of life then itself on knowing of bp and was taking it easy.
From October 2014 my relaxed life style was changed by transmissions and messages .I was ordered to hasten the pace , stop reading [my relaxation]or watch TV or browse the net , darken my rooms etc etc Just eat& eat and sleep
family matters are settled .Husband doesn't trouble me.So what is bothering me?Compulsory public service?That it comes with no medal but only with tittle of harlot?
Vexed at restrictions to my natural lifestyle which is languid unlike this new systematic , on time schedules which must have brought these diseases, i dropped it all and took a auto to the beach in the morning
It was empty near the waters Filled myself with the blueness of the sea ,Saw a catamaran .Knew that it was there for me [for transmission purposes] but ignored it.Didn't i come here let down my guard and relax?
Gazed at the sea , the water in which Vid's ashes were dissolved years back.As i thought on the sparkling reflections of sun's rays seem to take his form and smile at me
.
So long ,so long since i visualised him thus Did i ever have this son? Am i a mother ? Did he die? am i not only a wife?Am i that old to have a 34 year old son had he lived?
Any way it was nice to see my 24 year old son smiling at me from the sea he liked so much.It was also sad Whilst the heart given to me by my parents is strong and ticking at 60 the one i gave him has turned to ashes so early in his life
I remembered his heart beat that a gynec made us hear in one of our regular visits before delivery , with help of a ultra sonic gadjet. It came to my mind when i heard my heard beat in the echo test.
Whom should i blame for what i have to endure ?God? Karma?Time?nature?Family?Doctors ?Myself?to live on and on with such a loss.
Turned back.Saw a young man walk behind me Were they instrumental in reviving my memory?Every thing, every bit of my life is tailored
Then walked on the sand As i neared the place where gates of Parthasarathy temple is visible.I started feeling a terrific pressurre on my heart .Heard a ambulance siren on the main road on my left .I also heard a plane 's sound on my right near the shore .It made me turn back i To watch planes has become a habit since i found out the link.
As i turned back to watch its course flying across the sea to land further on., saw a hefty bearded middle aged man in jogging trunks on a straight line behind me .I moved to my left, instantly the pressure on my 'strong heart' left .I let him pass He didnt look at me Was the ambulance giving me the warning?Put aside that alert thought & walked to gate and beyond for 30 minutes and then turned back on same route.Few fishermen, lovers, group of boys that is all.On return walk saw a old man trailing me .So walked criss cross.A white stray barked mournfully at the direction of the waves Another alert.The foreign enemy.Saw a shadowy figure.
Now waves on my left side Wondered ,will i ever get out of this trap?Have knocked off a teeth, yet not free Haven't guts to knock of the other.That seizure and the doubt what if it is also useless to do so?Maybe there are other ways to control and intrude into me How very advanced our intelligence are!They are swift and meticulous.I even started admiring them.I ought to be berating them. Masochistic streak within me or do i concede defeat gracefully in this battle of wits and will power?
Then i shrugged it off .I came to beach to marvel at nature and not at man's capabilities.The more i am aware of man's capabilities towards my life i am losing touch with eternal essences.
Next day whilst musing over my trip to beach heard upper floor residents voice like as if coaxing me to write Immediately put a full stop .His coaxing started to ring alarm bells .it would either land me in trouble or make me lose the little respect that i have or there could be a political motive.
That night high decibel screeches from the nearby temple Fig tree attracted my attention In my new found alertness i go to the balcony often in response to such animal or bird sounds hoping to ward of the transmissions from the main road .
There were lots of black bats on the tree .They were in a feeding frenzy and were fighting with one another .Thier fighting screeches was to warn me..I saw several motorbikes with young well heeled couples come and leave whenever such screeches reached ahigh pitch They were casing and also transmiting to us at the time when my hub and son speak over video phone at night when planes land.
Next morning went for a walk .Heart started to thump Saw a girl in specs opposite to me and a young labourer jogging on the other side of the road in opposite direction .He was on my left.He was laughing merrily. The thumping left. only after he passed me
So my report of strong heart i s out and it is being tested or weakened?
The yen to immobolise me hasn't been satiated even with the report that i have all three silent killers at high levels.which could be the fruits of systematic work.It was done in beach also .That jogger had quarter km wide empty beach to jog but he was jogging right behind me.
Abusing various parts of my body has become a laughing matter and a triumphnat trophy .Those who do it beam joyfully like as if they have won a olympic gold medal or ayoung damsel from amonsgt various suitors.
Observed later in the morning that the fig tree was studded with coral red berried .A thick cover.It was these red berries that was attracting the bats.Few years back this tree was similarily covered with copious fruits .the the excited noise the feeding of flock mynahs at day time attracted my attention then . i was wearing specs then and i could see the shining red berries clearly.
With my new alertness i guessed that these black bats were brought from elsewhere and were being made to feast on the berries in pursuance of shadowy work and as per the nature of casing..Man's capacity! Technology etc.
But i also remembered that a day or so after the feeding stopped ,it rained and made me wonder whether the fig tree which is sacred as per Gita is sacred because it knows that its propogation is 100% assured so as to make it send a rich crop when it divines that a good shower is around the corner.
So i told hub ,It will rain within two days .the sky was clear and bright blue and the sun was scorching when i announced this.Yet within two days dark clouds started hovering and rains fell!
Felt exhilirated .May be birds can be made to sing and dance and i can be turned this way and that and made to think a lot of unwanted stuff but can the fig tree be teased to send such a rich crop.and clouds created to send the shower needed for the seeds dropped by the bats , to germinate?
Maybe the clouds can be seeded but will anyone take such a costly endeavour to make a fool of me To disprove my observations of nature which tallies with the sacredness attributed to this tree in the Gita?
It is still cloudy as i write this 6 days later.It is still cloudy as i blog this with rains on alternate days.
Can the tree be made to give such a bountiful crop?Doubt it .The techniques used on me is for destruction and not for creation.Destruction of nerves , cells, tissues , joints , trust and confidence.
The techniques are all for destruction .Passing messages and suggestions that destroy my individuality and original thinking .Suggestions are not of my own experiences and true feelings .Feeling are stirred up as per will .The only thing that is left to claim as my own are some memories from past Once they come up it is seen to that it also will be destroyed.The echo test and link to ultra sonic sound of heart beats have been played to the hilt in the beach .
When i heard the light tap of rain drops falling on the leaves my hear t was filled with joy and satisfaction
My observation of natures cycle is correct! I haven't lost that flash of touch i have with the eternal essences despite the concentrated efforts of people around me to make me lose it .
It is a battle of wits and will power I held on for a week 19---27th. They generally win It frustrates me when men play God.It was blooming of the arasamaram --fig tree and subsequent rainfall that filled me with exhiliration .How much ever these people trifle with nature like reading my mind , injecting suggestions. emotions into it at will or control my body and make it perform unnatural stuffs they cannot do the same with true essence of nature .
last time i had asked can you all make a bird sing They showed that they can make every bird in my vicinity sing .but i doubt if this cycle of nature would be artificially created just to make a fool out of me and to show thier prowess .I have observed that they achieve what appears as amazing to ordinary people like us is only through destruction ==like destruction of tissues , glands organs etc and not through creation .
Diary ---27.9.17
Did a freak test in the park after morning walk.The instant readings showed a very high level of both of the silent killers .[ i had written the readings in my diary but am refraining here] a week or so back.
Me & sugar?I couldnt believe it.I thought i had skipped that jinx which runs in my family.I didn't have it 2 years back when i did that cataract surgery and i am hardly the worrying kind..Having BP is ok i always had it for long though it had become normal since 2009 and the doc cut down the tablets .i didn't have it 2 yeras back also when i did a complete test for cataract surgery.
So went to a general doctor.There are scarcely any around these days.He ordered tests They confirmed that instant test 's results .Have sugar, fat and bp in moderately high levels..Echo test revealed that my heart was strong ,the only silver lining.[so far it seems to have withstood artificial pressures caused on it by flights- auditory masking and gadgets aimed at it for past 5 years]
Doc prescribed medicines and asked me to change my sedentary life style and walk . I have been walking ever since i was 35 ,I had slowed down my pace of life then itself on knowing of bp and was taking it easy.
From October 2014 my relaxed life style was changed by transmissions and messages .I was ordered to hasten the pace , stop reading [my relaxation]or watch TV or browse the net , darken my rooms etc etc Just eat& eat and sleep
family matters are settled .Husband doesn't trouble me.So what is bothering me?Compulsory public service?That it comes with no medal but only with tittle of harlot?
Vexed at restrictions to my natural lifestyle which is languid unlike this new systematic , on time schedules which must have brought these diseases, i dropped it all and took a auto to the beach in the morning
It was empty near the waters Filled myself with the blueness of the sea ,Saw a catamaran .Knew that it was there for me [for transmission purposes] but ignored it.Didn't i come here let down my guard and relax?
Gazed at the sea , the water in which Vid's ashes were dissolved years back.As i thought on the sparkling reflections of sun's rays seem to take his form and smile at me
.
So long ,so long since i visualised him thus Did i ever have this son? Am i a mother ? Did he die? am i not only a wife?Am i that old to have a 34 year old son had he lived?
Any way it was nice to see my 24 year old son smiling at me from the sea he liked so much.It was also sad Whilst the heart given to me by my parents is strong and ticking at 60 the one i gave him has turned to ashes so early in his life
I remembered his heart beat that a gynec made us hear in one of our regular visits before delivery , with help of a ultra sonic gadjet. It came to my mind when i heard my heard beat in the echo test.
Whom should i blame for what i have to endure ?God? Karma?Time?nature?Family?Doctors ?Myself?to live on and on with such a loss.
Turned back.Saw a young man walk behind me Were they instrumental in reviving my memory?Every thing, every bit of my life is tailored
Then walked on the sand As i neared the place where gates of Parthasarathy temple is visible.I started feeling a terrific pressurre on my heart .Heard a ambulance siren on the main road on my left .I also heard a plane 's sound on my right near the shore .It made me turn back i To watch planes has become a habit since i found out the link.
As i turned back to watch its course flying across the sea to land further on., saw a hefty bearded middle aged man in jogging trunks on a straight line behind me .I moved to my left, instantly the pressure on my 'strong heart' left .I let him pass He didnt look at me Was the ambulance giving me the warning?Put aside that alert thought & walked to gate and beyond for 30 minutes and then turned back on same route.Few fishermen, lovers, group of boys that is all.On return walk saw a old man trailing me .So walked criss cross.A white stray barked mournfully at the direction of the waves Another alert.The foreign enemy.Saw a shadowy figure.
Now waves on my left side Wondered ,will i ever get out of this trap?Have knocked off a teeth, yet not free Haven't guts to knock of the other.That seizure and the doubt what if it is also useless to do so?Maybe there are other ways to control and intrude into me How very advanced our intelligence are!They are swift and meticulous.I even started admiring them.I ought to be berating them. Masochistic streak within me or do i concede defeat gracefully in this battle of wits and will power?
Then i shrugged it off .I came to beach to marvel at nature and not at man's capabilities.The more i am aware of man's capabilities towards my life i am losing touch with eternal essences.
Next day whilst musing over my trip to beach heard upper floor residents voice like as if coaxing me to write Immediately put a full stop .His coaxing started to ring alarm bells .it would either land me in trouble or make me lose the little respect that i have or there could be a political motive.
That night high decibel screeches from the nearby temple Fig tree attracted my attention In my new found alertness i go to the balcony often in response to such animal or bird sounds hoping to ward of the transmissions from the main road .
There were lots of black bats on the tree .They were in a feeding frenzy and were fighting with one another .Thier fighting screeches was to warn me..I saw several motorbikes with young well heeled couples come and leave whenever such screeches reached ahigh pitch They were casing and also transmiting to us at the time when my hub and son speak over video phone at night when planes land.
Next morning went for a walk .Heart started to thump Saw a girl in specs opposite to me and a young labourer jogging on the other side of the road in opposite direction .He was on my left.He was laughing merrily. The thumping left. only after he passed me
So my report of strong heart i s out and it is being tested or weakened?
The yen to immobolise me hasn't been satiated even with the report that i have all three silent killers at high levels.which could be the fruits of systematic work.It was done in beach also .That jogger had quarter km wide empty beach to jog but he was jogging right behind me.
Abusing various parts of my body has become a laughing matter and a triumphnat trophy .Those who do it beam joyfully like as if they have won a olympic gold medal or ayoung damsel from amonsgt various suitors.
Observed later in the morning that the fig tree was studded with coral red berried .A thick cover.It was these red berries that was attracting the bats.Few years back this tree was similarily covered with copious fruits .the the excited noise the feeding of flock mynahs at day time attracted my attention then . i was wearing specs then and i could see the shining red berries clearly.
With my new alertness i guessed that these black bats were brought from elsewhere and were being made to feast on the berries in pursuance of shadowy work and as per the nature of casing..Man's capacity! Technology etc.
But i also remembered that a day or so after the feeding stopped ,it rained and made me wonder whether the fig tree which is sacred as per Gita is sacred because it knows that its propogation is 100% assured so as to make it send a rich crop when it divines that a good shower is around the corner.
So i told hub ,It will rain within two days .the sky was clear and bright blue and the sun was scorching when i announced this.Yet within two days dark clouds started hovering and rains fell!
Felt exhilirated .May be birds can be made to sing and dance and i can be turned this way and that and made to think a lot of unwanted stuff but can the fig tree be teased to send such a rich crop.and clouds created to send the shower needed for the seeds dropped by the bats , to germinate?
Maybe the clouds can be seeded but will anyone take such a costly endeavour to make a fool of me To disprove my observations of nature which tallies with the sacredness attributed to this tree in the Gita?
It is still cloudy as i write this 6 days later.It is still cloudy as i blog this with rains on alternate days.
Can the tree be made to give such a bountiful crop?Doubt it .The techniques used on me is for destruction and not for creation.Destruction of nerves , cells, tissues , joints , trust and confidence.
The techniques are all for destruction .Passing messages and suggestions that destroy my individuality and original thinking .Suggestions are not of my own experiences and true feelings .Feeling are stirred up as per will .The only thing that is left to claim as my own are some memories from past Once they come up it is seen to that it also will be destroyed.The echo test and link to ultra sonic sound of heart beats have been played to the hilt in the beach .
When i heard the light tap of rain drops falling on the leaves my hear t was filled with joy and satisfaction
My observation of natures cycle is correct! I haven't lost that flash of touch i have with the eternal essences despite the concentrated efforts of people around me to make me lose it .
posted by K.C. Sujata at
1:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home