Driving seat.

I suppose that when i am in the verge of popping of to sleep --the intermediary period between wakefulness and sleep,at night  when i retire to bed or after midnight after a trip to the bathroom [loo] or in the short mid afternoon naps ,articles,views blogs and even comments are fed into my subconscious by pale face/KGB and co  .It triggers off my fierce verbal battles  centering around a keyword that sinks deep in and unsettles me along with of course a liberal dose of the vapours and salts and electronic waves that make one loquacious and giggly with the accompaniment of high decibel noise which could be from TV like boisterous comedy dialogues from Tamil films or the orchestration of  extremely loud noises of adolescents playing cricket down below [though playing is banned by the association] or artificially fanned emotional encounters with needling [manipulated and manufactured with usual stealth] relatives.An allergy to even every day humdrum noises that didnt bother me for the past 10 years i have stayed here,which i have developed after the very prolonged shady inquisition conducted by bombarding me with mind blowing stereophonic sounds day and night and keping the entire neighbourhood--noisy flats cum noisier slum dwellers, remarkably quiet.

An recent word that was fed in and that which unsettled me was 'jealousy' that made me harangue mister non stop for an hour for not taking seriously the evidence less harassment meted out to me by our neighbours and their groups  because he was jealous of  pale face's educational qualifications since if he is really the cbi he must be quite highly educated since they are considered at par  with the outputs of iit's and iim's and that he couldn't stomach the fact  that such a highly educated and knowledgeable  person could be set on an  un important me nor accept my knowledge,an nature similar to many a  lowly educated  politicians who either  do not understand or are envious of  the ias and others on whom they lord over.

Next day  the govt announces a bonanza for Sonia Gandhi's constituency ,setting up of institutions for higher education and so on ! A link?Maybe.My recent outbursts that to after joining the BJP are simply too numerous and too frequent, unlike my normal taciturn and diplomatic self.

Pale face and co are hard at work redoubling and quickening the pace at a frightening speed and ruthlessness.sub serving knowledge to whims and fancies of anxious,vision less,not very well educated but very envious persons who are at the driving seat.

These sudden outbursts also visits the otherwise very cool and sedate family members too ,very often these days and i detect a lot of links that could be real or faked to make me appear delusional -- if fake  then for whose benefit?The verbal barrage is characterised by a torrent of unstoppable counter views to mine or an news item on TV at a camouflaged trigger from the immensely influenced brain.Most of which a moment later is forgotten .The interrogation has not ended It is more or less a biweekly affair and is  a ongoing subtle and stealthy process of which only i had been made to be aware of  that which must have been earlier than i imagined.

One has to be very very tough to withstand this sort of remorseless onslaught on the psyche and those who do must be totally unpalatable to the so called' liberals.'However what is the guarantee that there are no such palefaces amongst the posse guarding 'netas'  day and night specially those who are seen as straying from the beaten track due to ideology or mental imbalances and problems or sheer inertia and reluctance ?The stakes for those politically active are much higher than an  mere blogger like me.
In Hollywood films when a police man arrests a criminal  he would mouth these words---What ever you talk will be used against you and you have the right to be silent.

This is precisely what is happening to me that is what ever i say is being used  but  without the warning  or the fear of detection of using illegal means to make me and others talk and talk.The difference is that all my talking and writings are within the avowedly privacy of my house and not in a lock up or a cell.Is it a moral or rather immoral equivalence to Binayak sen's alleged mistreatment ? God only knows what runs in convoluted mind. Narayana save  this country from such loonies.

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