Sindoora Sempodi. By Andal.Pasurums on ThirumalirinSolai Azhagar Perumal and Meanings .

ஸ்ரீதேவி தாயார் பூதேவி தாயார் ஸமேத  சுந்தரராஜ பெருமாள் --அழகர் பெருமாள் கோவில் திருமாலிருந்ச்சோலை  Sri Devi Bhu Devi sametha Sundaraja perumal -Azhagar koil Thirumalirincholai

ஸ்ரீதேவி தாயார் பூதேவி தாயார் ஸமேத சுந்தர ராஜா பெருமாள் -அழகர் பெருமாள் கோவில் திரு மேலிருந்சோலை கோவில்Processional deities of SriDevi and BhuDevi and Sundaraja Perumal--Azhagar Temple Thirumalirincholai

                         சுந்தரராஜ  பெருமாள்  -திருமாலிருந்சோலை  அழகர்பெருமாள் கோவில்
Processional deity of Sundaraja Perumal --.Azhagar perumal koil -Thirumaliruncholai.




ஸ்ரீமதே ராமானுஜாய  நம:
Srimathe Ramanujaya nama:

ஸ்ரீ ஆண்டாள் துணை
Sri Andal Thunai.

           நாச்சியார் திருமொழி --ஒன்பது 

                                                                Nachchiar Thirumozhi --9

                                                     
தனியன் . அல்லினாள்  தாமரைமேல் ஆரணங்கின் இன்துணைவி
                      மல்லி நாடாண்ட மடமயில்  மெல்லியிலாள்
                        ஆயர் குலவேந்தன்  ஆகத்தாள்  தென்புதுவை
                     வேயர் பயந்த விளக்கு .

Meaning --Andal is the sweet friend of Mahalakshmi ,who is seated on a lotus.
                  Andal is as enchanting as a peacock and she ruled over MalliNadu
                  She is compatible with the scared form of  leader of Yadava--Sri Krishna ,
                  This bright light was the daughter of Peria azhwar, who belonged to Veyar clan and              who hailed from the picturesque place known as Sri Valliputhur.

                                          ----------------------------------------

                                          சிந்துரச் செம்பொடி

                                             Sindhura sempodi.

திருமாலிருஞ்சோலை  எம்பெருமான்  திறந்து  ஈடுபட்டு இரங்குதல் .
Devotional hymns on Sriman Narayana enshrined at Tirumalirunsolai..as Azhagar Peumal


Introduction--Sri Andal sees the sacred form and colour of Sriman Narayana who is enshrined in Tirumalirun solai hills as Azhagar , in the flowers that have bloomed after a spell of rains .It also describes her anguish at not getting a glimpse of him despite her constant devotion to him .

                                         FirstHymn


**. சிந்துர செம்பொடி போல் திருமாலிரின்சோலை எங்கும் இந்திர கோபங்களே  எழுந்தும் பரந்திதனையால் ,
மந்தரம் நாட்டி அன்று மதுரக் கொழுஞ்சாறு கொண்ட சுந்தர தோளுடையன் கழலையில் நின்று உய்தினுகோலோ ?

587.Sindhoora sempodi pol Tirumalirunsolai yengum indira gopangale yezhundum parandhitanaval,

mandaram  naati andru madurak kozhuncharu  konda Sundara tholudaiyan khazhalaiyil  nindru uithunkolo?

Silk moths as red as sindhoor powder have spread over Thirumalirunsolai .
Can anyone escape the charming web woven by Sri Sundara bhagunatha of handsome visage and broad shoulders who accepted the nectar sweet Mahalakshmi who rose out of the milky ocean that was churned with help of Mandara mountain?

                             Second song

**    .போர்களிறு பொரும் மாலிருந்சோலை அம்பும் புறவில் ,
      தார்கொடி முல்லைகளும் தவளநகை காட்டுகின்ற ,
      கார்கொள் படாக்கள் நின்ற கழறிச் சிரிக்கத்  தரியேன் ,
     ஆர்க்கிடுகோ ?தோழீ  !அவன் தார் செய்த பூசலையே .


588.  Porkalliru porum malirunsolai ambum puravil thaar kodi mullaigalum thavalanagai katukindrana
kaarkol padakall nindru kazhari sirikka thiriyen.Aarkiduko ? Thozhi!Avan thaar seidha  pusalaiye.

Thirumalirunsolai is the placewhere elephants that have been trained in war fare, fight with each other playfully.
The buds of jasmine creepers that abound in the open spaces reminds me of the pearly white smile of Azhagar.
Flowers of other creepers [sinai konda pada] have bloomed which seem to laugh at me saying 'You cannot escape me'!
I am unable to bear their jest.
My dear friend , tell me as to from whom  can  i seek succor from the raging battles within me that my desire to wear the garland adorning his shoulders has caused?

                                  Third song

** கருவி ளை  யொண் மலர்காள் காயா மலர்காள் திருமால் ,
    உருவொளி காட்டுகின்றீர்  எனக்கு  உய்வழக்கு ஒன்று உரையீர் ,
திருவிளையாடு திண்டோள் திருமாலிருஞ்சோலை நம்பி ,
 வரிவளையில் புகுந்து வந்திப்பற்றும் வழக்குளதே .

589 Karuvillaiyon malargaal kaya malargaal Thirumal uruvolli kattukindreer yenakku vuivazhaku ondru uraiyeer,
Thiruvillaiyadu thinthol Thirumalirunsolai nambi varivallaiyal pugundu vandhipatrum vazhakulladhe

'O' Beautiful kakanum flowers!Kayam flowers!You both remind me of the hue of sacred form of Sriman Narayana
Tell me, is it fair upon Azhagar on whose  sacred broad shoulders Lakshmi sports, to enter my house and steal my bangles by force?

                               Fourth song

**பைம்பொழில் வாழ்குயில்காள் !மயில்காள் !ஒண் கருவிளைகாள் ,
   வம்பக் களங்கனிகாள் !வண்ண பூவை நறுமலர்காள் !
ஐம்பெரும் பாதகர்காள் !அணி  மாலிருஞ்சோலை  நின்ற ,
எம்பெருமானுடைய நிறம் உங்களுக்கு என் செய்வதே ?

590. Paimpozhil vaazhkuil gaal! Mayilgaal!Onn karuvilaigaal!Vambha kalanganigaal! Vanna poovai narumalrgaal!
Ayemperumpadhagargaal!Anni malirunsolai nindra Emberumanudaiya niram ungallukku seivadhe?

'O'Koels who live in dense woods!'O' Peacocks!'O'Beautiful kakanum flowers !'O'New crop of Kalla fruits!'O'Pretty hued and highly fragrant Kayam flowers!
All five of you are my chief  harrassers.
Why should you all bear the colour of my bhagwan Sriman Narayana who is standing in
Tirumalirunsolai, and remind me of his  intoxicating hue  that is tormenting me so?

                                     Fifth song

** துங்கமலர்ப் பொழில் சூழ் திருமாலிருஞ்சோலை  நின்ற ,
செங்கண் கருமுகிலன் திருவுருப்போல் மலர்மேல் ,
தொங்கிய வண்டினங்காள் ! தொகுபூஞ் சுனைகாள்  சுனையில்
தங்கு செந்தாமரைகாள் ! எனக்கோர் சரண் சாற்றுமினே .

591. Thunga malar pozhil choozh Tirumalirunsolai nindra sengann karumugilum thirurupol malar mel thongiya vandinangal !
Thogupoonch sunaigal !Sunaiyil thangu senthamaraigaal!Yennakor saran satrumino.

Sriman Narayana,whose eyes are red and his form is dark hued like rain bearing clouds is standing in Tirumalirunsolai which is sorrounded by gardens which are blooming with flowers.

Swarm of bees hovering over  flowers remind me of his  sacred dark form.

'O'Beautiful springs!'O'Red lotuses residing in these springs ! You remind me of his sacred form .
All of you are tormenting me by reviving  his memory.Kindly direct me to the place where i can escape you all  .
                     
                                                Sixth song

**நாறுநறும்  பொழில் மாலிருஞ்சோலை நம்பிக்குநான்  ,
நூறு தடாவில் வெண்ணை வாய் நேர்ந்து பராவி வைத்தேன் ,
  நூறுதடா  நிறைந்த அக்கார அடிசில் சொன்னேன்
ஏறுதிருவுடை  யான் வந்திவை கொள்ளுங் கொலோ !

592.         Naarunarum pozhil malirunsolai nambikku naan nooru thadavil vennai vai nerndhu paravi vaithen ,Nooru thada niraindha akkara adisal sonnein yeru thiruvudaiyaan indru vandhivai kollungkolo!

To Sriman Narayana who is enshrined in the hills of Thirumalirunsolai , which is enveloped in the scent of fragrant woods , this servant has offered hundred pots of butter by word of mouth [ orally by speech]
Moreover i have offered hundred pots of sweet pongal also by word of mouth.
Will Azhagar whose wealth is increasing day by day accept my offerings?

Note :Centuries later Sri Ramanujar fullfilled the oral offerings of Sri Andal by actually offering hundred pots of sweet pongal to Azhagar .

                                                     Seventh song

**இன்று  வந்து இத்தனையும் அமுதுசெய்திட பெறில்நான்,
    ஒன்று நூறாயிரமாக் கொடுத்துப் பின்னும் ஆளும் செய்வன் ,
    தென்றல் மணம் கமழும் திருமாலிருஞ்சோலை தன்னுள் ,
    நின்றபிரான்  அடியேன் மனத்தே வந்து நேர்படிலே .

593.Indru vandhu ithanaiyum amudhu seidhida peril naan ondru noorayiramaga  koduthu pinnum aallum seivan
Thendral mannam kamazhum Thirumalirunsolai thannul nindra piran adiyen mannathe vandhu ner padile

If Swamy Azhagar who is standing in the hills of Thirumalirunsolai over which fragarant breeze blows , comes and  not only partakes my offerings but also takes permanent residence in my heart , i will offer 100,000 pots of butter and sweet pongal and will render my services to him.

                                                     Eighth song

** காலை  எழுந்திருந்து கரிய குருவி கணங்கள் ,
     மாலின் வரவு சொல்லி மருள் பாடுதல்  மெய்மை கொலோ ?
     சோலை மலை பெருமான் துவாரபதி எம்பெருமான்
     ஆலின்  இலைப் பெருமான் அவன் வார்த்தை உரைக்கின்றதே .

594.Kaalai yezhundhirindhu karia kuruvi kannangal malin varavu solli marul padudhal meiymai  kolo?
Solai malai perumaan ,Dwarapathi, Emberuman aalin ilai perumaan avan vaarthai uraikindradhe.

Black sparrows  rise early in the morning and sing the names of the leader of Thirumalirunsolai ,the leader of Dwaraka and about Sarveswara who sleeps on a banyan leaf at time of deluge  .
Are they announcing the imminent arrival of Sriman Narayana?

                                                       Ninth song

**கோங்கலரும் பொழில் மாலிருஞ்சோலை கொன்றைகள் மேல் ,
தூங்குபொன் மாலைகளோடு ட  னாய் நின்று  தூங்குகின்றேன் ,
   பூங்கொள் திருமுகத்து மடுத்தூதிய  சங்கொலியின் ,
சார்ங்கவில் நாணொலியும் தலைப்பெய்வ தெஞ்ஞான்று கொலோ !

595.Kongkallarum pozhil malirunsolai kondraigal thoongupon  malaigallodanai nindru thoongukindren
Poongkoll thirumugathu maduthudia sangoliyum sarangavil  naanoliyum thalaipeiva thengyandru kolo!

In the hills of Thirumalirunsolai  where kongu trees have blossemed , garlands of gold hued flowers are dangling from Kondrai trees.
This profuse blooming of Kondrai flowers are going waste .
When will i hear the sound of Panchajanya being blown by coral red sacred lips?
When will i hear the boomimg twang of the Saranga bow?

Note: Kondrai flowers are used in adorning Lord Siva and not Lord Vishnu.Hence they are going waste in Thirmalirun solai where Lord Vishnu is enshrined .
Similarily Sri andal who is the possesion of Sriman Narayana is withering away without his acceptance .
Rukmini revived and became conscious when she heard the conch  Panchajanya blown by her beloved  Sri Krishna when she was being forced  against her will into a matrimoniol alliance with Sisupala.
 Sita's life and hope returned when she heard the booming sound  that the bow Saranga  made in Rama's hands as soon as he set foot on Lanka.
Andal laments that her position is so hopeless that she will spurt back to life and consciousness only if she hears both the sounds made by Panchjanya and Saranga.

                                                       பத்தாம் பாட்டு

சாந்தோடு காரிகிலும் சுமந்து தடங்கள் போருது      வந்திழிவும்    சிலம்பாறுடை மாலிருந்சோலை    நின்ற சுந்தரனை ,
கரம்போர் கோடை தொகுத்து உரைத்த செந்தமிழ் வள்ளற்      திருமால் அடி சேர்வார்களே                    

596. Santhodu kaargilum sumandhu thadangal porudhu vandhizhiyum  silambarudai malirunsolai nindra Sundaranai,
Karumbor kodai thoguthu uraitha senthamizh vallar Tirumal adi servargale

Silambar flows rapidly dragging sandal and other woods by bursting its banks in Tirumalirunsolai hills where Azhagar  is standing .
Those who recite all these 10 Tamil hymns written by Kodhai who has curly tresses will reach
SrimanNarayana 's sacred feet .

                                                  -----------------------

Note: Silambar is known as Nupuru Gangai
Kodhai is  another name of Sri Andal

                    ஸ்ரீ ஆண்டாள் திருவடிகளே சரணம் .

                          Sri Andal Thirvadigale saranam
                             ****************************

Acknowlegement -Nalayira Divya prabhandam by Prof Sri Kamlakannan

Photos of Abhishekam of Srinivasar at Tirumala Temple

Mahalakshmi on right side of Srinivasar's sacred chest

Photos of Netra darshan of Srivenkateswara at Tirumala Temple --Madri -Replica

Netra darshan

Netra darshan

Thiru pavadai seva

Phoolangi seva

Magnetism

Magnets in my daily use clutch's button has made me stumble  by braking my  knee pain they have also made me trip with sudden  lighheadedness  and made me fall  .Garbage bins on road side are the palces that have this magnetic field in maximum .At home it could be my fridge and from  cars and scooter  parked  without them being used regularily.

Stumbled on this suddenly and when i prised the magnets away from my clutch and was carrying them to throw it in a garbage bin a iron tricycle  coming from behind careered into me uncontrollably ,near a garbage bin in a right turning .I was holding these small 4 magnets size of a press button in my right hand .  How powerful these magnets are!

I have been carrying the same clutch for past several years.It explains skidding of scooters  and bikes and cars coming from back nearly running me down  but some how controlling it.A serious matter is a joke to many as most knowing by standers laugh it off .

Garbage bins are source of this magnetic pull It is symbolic also .The holier than thou's think that my mind is a garbage  dump and it should be washed clean of thoughts ..Who asked them to peer into it ?I guess if i think how to make money by illegal means  or keep on thinking and  sighing at the exaggerated plights of thier dear votebanks then my mind is pure and clear !


4.1.17   Since i purged my purses of the heavy duty magnets ,flights have taken a turn .Very few landings but  very many take offs right over my apartment and in the eastern side.I thought that my presence commanded the movement of traffic on streets it seems it also commands air traffic in the sky!

I used to keep the two purses that had  a powerful magnet each in its metal button as well as in a old  jolla walla -cloth bag worn on the shoulder ,  which also had a powerful magnet in its button  as well as a relatively new leather handbag  which also had a magnet in its clasp that has a button in the cupboard of my bedroom  near the window which abuts the street below . It  is also the window from where one can see the landing of planes clearly .Some times i could even see the planes windows.

This practise of keeping my purses , handbags  in that cupboard with steel doors  dates back to the time we occupied these flats ,which is more than a decade and a half .

There is a connection between magnets,vehicles, iron things , planes and me .The combination affects my body as well as mind .A body that has lost its firmness owing to age hence easily malleable and mind that had been  subject to intolerable loud noises in 2012 May  and pierced by painful shafts in 2014 June.

One tangible result since i removed and threw away those magnets is the reduction  of my urge to write  on and on .constantly regruiting analysis,on topics, mainly news, i hardly care and supplementing it with my long lost past memory.Both of which are of no use to me but could be to those having a  immoral   desire  for my mind                                                                                                                                                            .i am getting back my original interests like reading books ,.in this also i have to be wary becuase the steel in the specs that is near my forehead  does affect me, irritating me to a angry mood.  .So have to rely on my eyes to read and this slows it. and reduces the pleasure of reading

Have to be very wary of listening music with earphones as they have magnets [all earphones have]Have to be wary talking on mobile as it also has ..I heard music yesterday with earplugs and here i am writing , blogging on and on.
So this is democracy? i cannot live for myself  and satisfy myself  by.whatever  means of relaxation i seek like hearing music  , walking leisurely whether on terrace or outside [in my last trip to beach the number of garbage bins in my usual route on the sands  multiplied alarmingly and i couldn't walk though i had very little iron on me  viz only two safety pins] or read books or watch TV or visit temples or social functions  it will be used to  make me  write or burst out  .
Every form of my activity and relaxation has to result in my service to unknown persons  .That is how i have been fixed .

A lot of effort has gone and is still going on to curb my intellectual pursuits and even more effort to bring  me down  to the level of  a fish wife.


.

Mind cutting-- 2.10.17--Diary

Today the early morning sky was laden with glossy silvery  white  fluffy clouds .The sky is pastel blue.Cursed my fate for having to do with these few snatches of nature as transmissions cut it all short abruptly and wondered at the utter selfishness of those doing it and thier lack of shame in  announcing immediately thier disappointment or triumph over it, through street vendors hawking vegetables or fruits etc loudly with a mega phone

Hauled myself up calling Narayana to help me get up from the floor Immediately i herad atap on my ceiling like as if i was calling them! Wondered ,what links do Muslims have with Nrayana ,NothingThen remembered the person who lives above them He is a Aiyar and of late is often criss crossing my path when i go out.Maybe he is the one who is responding  to common god Naryana All our three houses are identical.But the tap makes me feel like as if my immediate neighbour is awknowledging .
What dirty trick this hypocrite hindu has played on me in pursuance of his concept of secularism.Maybe had done it since 2012 by fostering an unnatural friendship with  selectively bleeding heart  upper floor resident!

When i went out for a walk this Aiyar came in opposite direction  .Looking pious with  a slash of vibhuti He was a very low keyed person and i had always seen him as a harmless and  a nice neighbour.till ofcourse 2012.

Dropped my alertness whilst walking regarding as to who was following me or who which  parked car a has aerial .Too much alertness takes away my enjoyment of this leisure + exercise

I thought let anyone follow me .Am i going to be made a MP or MLAto be so careful.Let a even a naxal follow me .so what?What i am basically i am .Why should i care for some oneelses guilt of weakening me ?

Then i started to think of that Aiyar A dog started to bark from a house Its alert didn't register..I continued walking and thinking quite angrily =what if his daughter falls in live with thier adjacent Muslim neighbours son and gets married to him? There are so many good looking brahmin girls in my flat what if they fall for equally good looking muslim youths or christian youths in other flats .Can they take it? Maybe 10 years from now that girl may fall for any of them and marry one.Only then he will realise what he did to me was wrong.All concepts of psuedo secularism , re conciliation etc   so grandly stated  will be thrown to the winds when it actually comes to bite one .

A thin girl had passed me by a little while ago on a cycle .I continued thinking about all the hypocrites who had foisted reconciliation etc on me  forcibily and with dirty tricks and was hoping that they all would be put to disruption of thier security and family life with thier daughters or sons having such liasons .Our flat has a both hindus and muslims [quite strange .Probably they all work together and we are the only outsiders  ] so why shouldn't marital ties not take place, I was actually wising it does so as to serve them right.

As i wa sthus thinking a married young woman came from behind me laughing in to her mobile So she was making me furious  I spat on the road at her mirth.She walked on without turning back.Few feet away was that thin girl returning on her cycle on my left side.felt like spitting on the road on seeing her  .Her conversation  on her mobile came loud and clear.in Tamil'-when such thoughts come in mind it must be cut' .

That made m eeven more furious.Who are these people to censor my thoughts?This lowly girl?Couldnt be.It was some one else Most probably the keepers of law and order.Who ever that is just how clean is her or his mind?Was a test done on them to certify  them to be Pure and Clean so as to observe and clip my thoughts?
What is the standard for good and bad thoughts?It is very subjective and very onesided

If i get angry at my neighbours including my immediate ones within myself and  console myself in my belief in workings of karma it is a bad thought.But if i harrangue politicians specially at the centre ,it is a good thought .Iam immediately rewarded with gushing water in my metro tap which has been quite dry since we came.If  i have thoughts that is expression of my ire at bai problem and curse my Karma for landing in these flats   the tap will go dry .My revengeful thoughts on Aiyar was rewarded with full flow of water. when i opened tap on coming back
In this brain washing and controlling of my thought process even Kimjong of North Korea will pale into insignificance.To those people doing it will see this as a compliment .How can one expect otherwise of those in here who consider reading mein kamph as being Intellectual and heap praises on  Hitler.!Many youngsters and oldies say  it openly on tv

At least that Kim doesnt go around saying we are democracy etc but those doing it on me harp on it and benifit from it .PSuedo democrats.

I have not absolved my immediate Muslim neighbour of his dirty role.He has and maybe still uses gadjets and stands behind me;from his balcony when i am down maybe in reflections in showcase glass door or mirrors to substitute or replicate my husband .Replicating my husbands role was and is the dirtiest of all tricks played on me when my nerves were frayed in 2012 owing to sound torture

After cooling down i remembered that this aiyar leaves home very early and returns late .from work .So it could be some one else .Any one  from  immediate upper floor. There are so many trooping up and down each day to that flat . 

Nature's last laugh-------27.9.17

I went through this diary writing of 27 .9 17 and found out that i am a better at diary writing than at writing articles It is straight from the heart without any inhibitions.Probably this explains the demand for my diary writing i guessed it and  try  holding back  from writing it as much as possible.The very fact that i have this urge to write down even mundane things like my medical report alerts me .I have never written about my health check up in the umpteen times i have done before in my life .Next my trips to beach I have made several  in past decades ,so what is this insormountable urge making me want to write it now?When i was thus contemplating in the morning after that beach trip heard pseudo liberal's artificially crooning  voice as if coaxing me to write. It immediately sent alarm bells  If i acceded i know from past experience that it would be for following--1.To make a  fool of myself and make me lose  whatever little  respect i have .2. It could be used politicians .                                                                                                                                                         I also heard the muted voices of squirrels and i knew  they had set me up in such a way that i have to write

It is a battle of wits and will power I held on for a week 19---27th. They generally win It frustrates me when men play God.It was blooming of the arasamaram --fig tree and subsequent rainfall that filled me with exhiliration .How much ever these people trifle with nature  like reading my mind , injecting suggestions. emotions  into it at will  or control my body and make it perform unnatural stuffs they cannot do the same with true essence of nature .
last time i had asked can you all make a bird sing  They showed that they can make every bird in my vicinity sing .but i doubt if this cycle of nature would be artificially created just  to make a fool out of me and to show thier prowess .I have observed that they achieve  what appears as amazing to ordinary people like us is only  through destruction ==like destruction of tissues , glands organs etc and not through creation .

Diary ---27.9.17

Did a freak test in the park after morning walk.The instant readings showed  a very high level of both of the  silent killers  .[ i had written the readings in my diary but am refraining here] a week or so back.

Me & sugar?I couldnt believe it.I thought i had skipped that jinx  which runs in my family.I didn't have it 2 years back when i did that cataract surgery and i am hardly the worrying kind..Having BP is ok i always had it for long though it had become normal since 2009 and the doc cut down the tablets .i didn't have it 2 yeras back also when i did a complete test for cataract surgery.

So went to a general doctor.There are scarcely any around these days.He ordered tests They confirmed  that instant test 's results .Have sugar, fat and bp in moderately high levels..Echo test revealed that my heart was strong  ,the only silver lining.[so far it seems to have withstood artificial pressures caused on it by flights- auditory masking and gadgets aimed at it for past 5 years]

Doc prescribed medicines and asked me to change my sedentary life style and walk . I have been walking ever since i was 35 ,I had slowed down my pace of life then itself on knowing of bp and was taking it easy.
From October 2014 my relaxed  life style was changed by transmissions and messages .I was ordered to hasten the pace , stop reading [my relaxation]or watch TV or browse the net  , darken my rooms etc etc Just eat& eat and sleep
family matters are settled .Husband doesn't trouble me.So what is bothering me?Compulsory public service?That it comes with no medal but only with tittle of harlot?

Vexed at restrictions to my natural lifestyle  which is languid unlike this new systematic , on time schedules which must have brought these diseases, i dropped it all and took a auto to the beach in the morning
It was empty near the waters Filled myself with the blueness of the sea ,Saw a catamaran .Knew that it was there for  me [for transmission purposes] but ignored it.Didn't i come here let down my guard and relax?
Gazed at the sea , the water in which Vid's ashes  were dissolved years back.As i thought on the sparkling reflections of sun's rays seem to take his  form and smile at me
.
So long ,so long since i visualised him thus  Did i ever have this son?  Am i a mother ?  Did he die? am i not only a wife?Am i that old to have a 34 year old son had he lived?

Any way it was nice to see my 24 year  old son smiling at me from the sea  he liked so much.It was also sad  Whilst the heart given to me by  my parents is strong and ticking at 60 the one i gave him  has turned to ashes  so early in his life
I remembered his heart beat that a gynec made us hear in one of our regular visits  before delivery , with help of a ultra sonic gadjet. It came to my mind when i heard my heard beat in the echo test.
                            Whom should i blame  for what i have to endure ?God? Karma?Time?nature?Family?Doctors ?Myself?to live on and on with such a loss.

Turned back.Saw a young man  walk behind me Were they instrumental in reviving my memory?Every thing, every bit of my life is tailored

Then walked on the sand As i neared the place where gates of Parthasarathy temple is visible.I started feeling a terrific pressurre on my heart .Heard a ambulance siren on the main road on my left .I also heard a plane 's sound on my right near the shore .It made me turn back i  To watch planes has become a habit since i found out the link.
As i turned back to watch its course flying across the sea to land further on., saw a hefty bearded middle aged man in jogging trunks on a straight line behind me .I moved to my left, instantly the pressure on my 'strong heart' left .I let him pass He didnt look at me Was the ambulance giving me the warning?Put aside that alert thought & walked to gate and beyond for 30 minutes and then turned back on same route.Few fishermen, lovers, group of boys that is all.On return walk saw a old man trailing me .So walked criss cross.A white stray barked mournfully at the direction of the waves Another alert.The foreign enemy.Saw a shadowy figure.
Now waves on my left side Wondered ,will i ever get out of this trap?Have knocked off a teeth, yet not free Haven't guts to knock of the other.That seizure and the doubt what if it is also useless to do so?Maybe there are other ways to control and intrude into me How very advanced our intelligence are!They are swift and meticulous.I even started admiring them.I ought to be berating them. Masochistic streak within me or do i concede defeat gracefully in this battle of wits and will power?

Then i shrugged it off .I came to beach to marvel at nature and not at man's capabilities.The more i am aware of man's capabilities towards my life i am losing touch with eternal essences.

Next day whilst musing over my trip to beach heard upper floor residents voice like as if coaxing me to write Immediately put a full stop .His coaxing started to ring alarm bells .it would either land me in trouble or make me lose the little respect that i have or there could be a political motive.

That night high decibel screeches from the nearby temple Fig tree attracted my attention In my new found alertness i go to the balcony often in response to such animal or bird sounds hoping to ward of the transmissions from the main road .
There were lots of black bats on the tree .They were in a feeding frenzy and were fighting with one another .Thier  fighting screeches   was  to warn me..I saw several motorbikes with young well heeled couples come and leave whenever such screeches reached ahigh pitch They were casing and also transmiting to us at the time when my hub and son speak over video phone at night when planes land.
Next morning went for a walk .Heart started to thump Saw a girl in specs opposite to me and a young labourer  jogging on the other side of the road in opposite direction .He was on my left.He was laughing merrily. The thumping left. only after he passed me
So my report of strong heart i s out and it is being tested or weakened?

The yen to immobolise me hasn't been satiated even with the report that i have all three silent killers at high levels.which could be the fruits of systematic work.It was done in beach also .That jogger had quarter km  wide empty beach to jog but he was jogging right behind me.
Abusing various parts of my body has become a laughing matter and a triumphnat trophy .Those who do it beam joyfully like as if they have won a olympic gold medal or ayoung damsel from amonsgt various suitors.

Observed  later in the  morning that the fig tree was studded with coral red berried .A thick cover.It was these red berries that was attracting the bats.Few years back this tree was similarily covered with  copious fruits .the the excited noise the  feeding of flock mynahs at day time attracted my attention then  . i was wearing specs then and i could see the shining  red berries clearly.

With my new alertness i guessed that these black bats were brought from elsewhere and were  being made to feast on the berries  in pursuance of shadowy work and as per the nature of casing..Man's capacity! Technology etc.

But i also remembered that a day or so after the feeding stopped ,it rained and made me wonder whether the fig tree which is sacred as per Gita is sacred because it knows that its propogation is 100% assured so as to make it send a rich crop when it divines that  a good shower is around the corner.

So i told hub ,It will rain within two days .the sky was clear and bright  blue and the sun was scorching when i announced this.Yet within two days dark clouds started hovering and rains fell!

Felt exhilirated .May be birds can be made to sing and dance and i can be turned this way and that and made to think a lot of unwanted stuff but can the fig tree be teased to send such a rich crop.and clouds created to send the shower needed for the seeds dropped by the bats , to germinate?

Maybe the clouds can be seeded but will anyone take such a costly endeavour to make a fool of me To disprove my observations of nature which tallies with the sacredness attributed to this tree in the Gita?

It is still cloudy as i write this 6 days later.It is still cloudy as i blog this  with rains on alternate days.
Can the tree be made to give such a bountiful crop?Doubt it .The techniques used on me is for destruction and not for creation.Destruction of nerves , cells, tissues , joints , trust and confidence.

The techniques are all for destruction .Passing messages and suggestions that destroy my  individuality and original thinking .Suggestions are not of my own experiences and true feelings .Feeling are stirred up as per will .The only thing that is left to claim as my own are some memories from past Once they come up it is seen to that it also will be destroyed.The echo test and link to ultra sonic sound of heart beats   have been played to the hilt in the beach .

When i heard the light tap of rain drops falling on the leaves  my hear t was filled with joy and satisfaction
My observation of natures cycle is correct! I haven't lost that flash of touch i have with the eternal essences despite the concentrated efforts  of people around me to make me lose it .

Japa and numbness,--2.10.17

Whilst doing silent japa on conclusion of morning puja  could feel my legs go numb It soon reached unbearable levels.I knew that a was plane was coming for landing as wounds and scratches and sprains start throbbing with pain whenever a plane is few minutes away from sight.Bore the pain and didn't stretch my legs and continued  with japa.Sure enough a blue winged plane came in sight seen clearly from my bedroom window Then i stretched my aching leg.In the next course of japa i started feeling Nausea and pressurre in my heart .Stuck on .Isnt my heart strong enough to bear all this?So says a recent medical report.So why fearThen a red winged plane came in sight.For third sequence of japa again felt numbness and saw ared winged plane.
When i finished and came near the fridge felt shivers [mild] run up and down my body making my hands shake. Since removal of that root canaled tooth these tremors soon after morning puja starts troubling me.It has become regular feature .I decided to relax in arm chair .The tremors didn't leave, and my late  father 's fake started to appear.Alarmed  i  hiked up my sari .It revealed my stomach.Immediately the tremors vanished !Instantly!I was back to normal.
So all this is being done deliberately by some one watching me and exposure of my body puts them off.

Then had lunch and i suddenly started feeling angry at upper floor resident [may be due to transmission ] and started thinking thus---
In 2014 September got numerous messages day and night the whole of that month.One was this---Since my husband was too weak to control me or satiate my enormous sexual appetite [i was 57 then ] services of other men was needed to control and satiate me so as to give us a peaceful marital life .

This upper floor resident whom i have observed to be a psuedo liberal   and the neighbour of my floor who prides in his Christian links who is nothing but a psuedo Hindu were the two such people known to me to be proffering thier services unasked  since 2012.

1.This psuedo liberal who is so concerned about my husband 's pitiable state in my hands had said soon after the floods of 2015 had receded, to me and to the wife of the psuedo Hindu that he wanted to dunk his wife in the flood waters and to finish her off once and for all .He even imitated her waddling walk to justify his murderous urge.He regretted that he missed a very good oppurtunity to get rid off her!His heart bleeds for my husband  but not for his wife.My husband would never tell such things about me even in the privacy of our house even as a joke.

2.He and all those Muslims gazing at me have thier wives covered head to foot  .I saw his wife without just once without burkha and head gear which makes her look like aged nun,Was surprised as to how  smart  she looked just like any other nice looking non brahmin woman.So he is scared that her beauty will be stared at  but has no qualms in staring at other man's wife  [me]

3.This psuedo liberal who was so concerned in 2012 about my faded cotton sarees wasn't much concerned about his wife attired in the same old frayed black burkha covering all the finery even in their son's wedding.reception.

Frankly i have no issues  about other peoples customary attires but since this person poked his nose into my life  projecting himself as broad minded  and humane person i want to give  him back.Even more frankly the Burkhas i see here are like tight fitting black gowns high lighting the contours of the body of the female wearing it.defeating the very purpose of it being worn,.they are psuedo burkhas The real ones according to me are the one worn by women in Taliban Afganistan --the flowing shapeless ones .
All said and a  woman in burkha appears  to be unapproachable to me and i cannot move with such persons freely.

Orthodox Brahmin who women drape themselves in 9 yards long sarees  have husbands who wear panchagajam dhothi But this person covers his wife and daughter in law in conservative Burkha whilst he wears western clothes.He ought to be wearing a white cap and kurta pyjama to complement them and thus not hoodwink others to think that he is  a modern and liberal.Muslim.

4.This Pl  loves to see me in tears.This bleeding heart just loves it .  I had used japa to pull me out of grief and tears and to get a hold of my emotions  but this bleeding heart  is using  my japa to make me sad and despondent!He uses it make  feel sorry for people i hardly know or care --the poor of his community.I see very poor hindus but that doesn't make my heart wring or make me feel sad  the way he contrives me to make me feel sorry for the poor of his community.!He is like a Vethal on my back whom it is difficult to shrug off .I  had truck load of grief to last me several life times and had devised ways like meditation , reading philosophy ,even short stories , visiting temples all over India  ,theeetrthyatras and Photography to tackle it.Do i need others problems  to push me back into a abyss that is thankless and futile to me?My personal grief was a step to make me more spiritual and religious and a better person but  eternal victim hood  and , rebellion is being foisted on me [that to at this age !]making me crib at every aspect  life, society, govt and institutions due  this unwanted intrusion into my life
                    
psuedo Hindu never lets his wife out of her sight , probably same fear-viz poaching  but he was keeping another man's wife in his sight and  distancing that man [my hub] from his wife--me.This man who is past 60 is subject to violent fits of temper and rage  unlike my even tempered husband.His substitution will only make  my husband unnaturally angry at a time when he has settled down for a peaceful retired life.It is also making me absorb negativity like resentment, irritation , uncalled for anger at slightest provocation,whining and complaining about others and the holier than thou attitude.

So on what basis can these two control me? How is my husband of 35 years  less capable to do so/He was keeping me in check in his own quiet way He didn't go and complain to all these people about me nor has he put any bar on my dressing or freedom of movement or speech.

This psuedo liberal came and dropped a burkha on me even in my house and this psuedo hindu curtailed my free movements outside this locality[ both  through putting  fear in me] both over looking the fact that i was someone else's wife and not theirs so as  to fit me into thier way of thinking and practises.

I donot know who else were added to this list after 2014 .

 Was thinking of that conversion by messages and transmissions in September 2014

Muslim conversion was one loud Bismillah uttered in a terrifying voice.That is all.The Christian conversion went for whole of September .
earlier in June the bed for conversion  was laid by knocking out my defences by piercing my head with what felt like pain ful  jabs of sharp and thick needles all over my head waking me from my sleep at night for one whole month.Which ever room i went , even went under my bed i  couldn't escape those painful jabs .It was also done in the morning when i relaxed over come by exhaustion of the night of  drilling into my head Terrible torture.Not a single window of relaxtion was allowed in that whole month..

Ok about this Christian conversion --I have herad that it is generally persuasive but mine was coercive accompanied by death threats to me and family .It also had enticements like facilitating my and my son's  migration to US[ not my husband ]if i converted and allowed my son to marry a Christian over there.Death was any how decreed for my husband by these converters soon, whether i converted or not so according to them it was best for me and my son that i took the offer of  conversion and enjoy a good life  in US.

But in this also there was a catch  that my son will there after take  my  husband's role!Sick sexual  formulations  in filial relationship that repulsed me If didn't accept any of this all of us will be put to death .So would other relatives and finally the entire Srivaishnava community!

They thought that i was some uneducated woman without a strong Hindu lineage of  scholars dating back to centuries .I was terribly weak owing to discharge of sticky  fluids neaaly non stop whole of that month .But my spirit was strong and i said No. Death of all of us is prefferable to conversion  go ahead and finish us all and quench your religious blood lust. Then it stopped. As also the sectarian conversion that was also taking place .Its enticement was that i will escape conversion to other religions if i changed the worship of deities.i did try this but found it difficult to suddenly develop belief in other hindu deities viz Amman just to escape conversion or even death I wasn't being true to myself  so dropped it also

I guess that the conversion  in September 2014 was coercive because they wanted to go for the kill when i was in  a very weakened  state -mentally, physically and emotionally.

fLights do play a role in all this It could have been thus set up even much earlier than 2012 If i probe too deeply i;ll start suspecting foul play in Vidat's death also and lose my peace and trust altogether.

A lot of unwanted sex knowledge was imparted to me in 2014 September through transmissions  About front and back and since then the theme in my life was only sex and it is linked to my Hindu  religious beliefs.
I was also warned to never touch or go near my legally wedded husband  at pain of his death and i should never touch my clothed  body and the perogative of doing so lay with those weilding the gadgets who will either cause numbness or make me leak . Making me nervous  of my own body  and its abnormal reactions and over careful of movements  of my limbs and to be without any human touch !

So as per that Harold Robinson  knowledge imparted to me for free  and the observations i have made of persons in my vicinity; the   sensations i am made to have like scratching in my back and stings followed by leaks  the front  are associated with following persons I was also informed that i was deriving my strength thanks to the cooperation of the  labour force of the slum tenements on the opposite side. Really?Most of them are more obese than me.The knee pain i had was due to deliberate aggravation and it subsided because such aggravations were removed.Now i have pain in my left hand It is  also due to deliberate means.Is the strong heart and bones that i have inherited 60 years back from my parents also owing to  this good  samaritan working forces courtsey?

Sensations and persons associated with it--

1.Scratching sensation  in back means it is to do with Christians and Saivaites They see me as Ali viz  man acting like a woman so they can access only my back
2.Irritating stings in front followed by leaks  and scratching in upper front is associated with Muslims and maybe Srivaishnavaites .To them i am a woman who needs to constantly satiated so as  to be kept in good spirits.

It has been set up like this .without micro waves , auditory masking , implants or receivers  for transmission of messages , blasting of my mind with loud sounds in 2012 wrecking my nerves and the drilling of my brain  in 2014 followed by heavy discharge of abnormal fluids this stupidity .is impossible to achieve.

 Soon after  i wrote this conclusion planes started to take off loudly flying overhead making me want to make
innumerable trips to the loo.

Pigeons at it!-------------27.9.17

As usual morning coffee in balcony and was contemplating about writing about my recent trip to beach and the fig tree.It was a lovely dawn and i was at peace and was observing a crow feed its young one in its thorny nest in the fig tree and formed words to write about it.What impels the crow to feed its young one?Duty and affection?It also remembers to feed it !So it also has memory.Scientists call it instinct but  it appears like memory to me.I have realised the value of memory ever since i was made to lose it and can recognise and admire it when birds which are said to have no brains are showing clear signs of memory. It has to remember that it has young ones it also has to remember where it has placed them and also remember that they  depend on it totally for food and growth.

Birds feeding thier young ones  are very ordinary day to day occurrence  which i have seen countless times before without taking much notice but it  has suddenly caught my attention. Is it the life with limited  socialisation i lead which is making me do so?If not for constant interruption by transmissions and external control of my bodily movements  i would observe nature and  society in greater detail .

Several minutes later my mind suddenly got filled with memory of Qutub minar  standing on ruins of Vishnu temple and started to get hot and bothered  and started justifying anger of Hindus against Muslims up north.Unlike in here they couldn't re build the temples destroyed by Muslim rulers as they were  under thier rule for centuries.where as in here temples destroyed by marauders were built within few years  as the sultans couldn't hold on to thier conquests for long .That Vishnu temple must be more than a1000 years old  and could have been as sacred , and hoary as Vishnu  temple at Srirangam.

Saw a pigeon on the transformer of the next flat complex.It was like a bucket of cold water thrown on me.So a pigeon was provoking me to such thoughtswhen i wanted to write anice peice .That pigeon then flew away southwards .
I couldn't believe this.Why would a Muslim want to provoke me to write against themselves?Is it ISI or other neighbours as hinted to me often --the foreign enemy  to create disunity through me?

Then i remembered that mentally retard's brother an auto driver involved in this provocation regarding Qutub minar earlier also.He used to park his auto under my window since 2012 He had Amma's picture in his auto.So is it the ruling party in here that is provoking me to think and then write on such subjects hoping it would encourage the right or fringe to create trouble for center?

My late brother had observed from what i related to him of the sudden eruption of mass ragging against me in 2012 that it looked like as if two different  people were trying to provoke and control me .

yesterday i was raging against harshness of some Gujarati's and Punjabi's on hearing Bharatiyars song  on his young daughter  If tears fall from your eyes my heart is pierced  .I felt sorry for that girl of lower flat who is often made to cry to warn me of impending punishments I was under the impression that it is center [ since her father is supposed to represent center--courtsy red line] which is making that kid sob for my sake and so ranted against it .They had that kid so late into thier married life nearly 15 years or more and thier karma they can't bring her up in a normal way and my karma to talk and listen to every lowlife Muslim and Christians What a mess these flats have become since 2012.

After this sudden rage i was having a seista i had that' Forgivness session'That i should forgive all those who have blasted and jammed my head and start writing good things about them So Christianisation or Pshycological sessions are still going on through transmissions. [i observed that  plugs used for electrical appliances like wall fan or for recharging mobiles or tablet  or washing machine whose screws can be seen,and  which are nearby  are used  probably as speakers to convey these messages.,Remotes of TV and Ac are used in giving pain and in speeding up discussions on politics]

I refused to forgive.Why should i forgive those who have made me appear like harlot  and have wiped away the respect  that my husband gave me in society?Or forgive those who are constantly provoking confusing and sending me messages non stop 24 | 7transmissions right into my mind?Making me restless and make me lose my identity, confidence and faith and trust in people around me , in myself, in my society ,govt and country?
That lower flat residents and kid took of f yesterday laughing .Don't know if my ire worked.Is that kid juat Ek din ka sultan or would her normal childhood be given back to her?As if there cannot be other ways to warn me rather gloat over the pains that is awaiting me in joints , spine abdomen and limbs when i delibertely interrupt transmissions seeking reactions to headline news -which is only about minorities and thier plight and netas.when my thoughts race on subjects that hardly interests me i know that it is due to transmission and so try various ways to discourage it
So bodily pain is given for the following ---

1.For not co operating with analysis sessions
2.When i express contrary  views as opposed to that bleeding hearts or politicians have on topics taxing newspapers and TV channels .i deliberately give very strong opposing views since my indifference to such news is being unneccasrily provoked .

I am allowed to be provoked That is not Law and order problem When i react to such provocations nastily to discourage such forcible exhortions in future and give crazy views then it is law and order or even national security problem!

I never imagined that i would get so deep into Bai problem.Why are so many of them hovering around me?Is it out of  fear  of me --thoughts , speech and writing owing to control by two authorities or fear of authorities or is it the hope getting some concessions out of my analysis
When i typed authority it was underlined .who is it? center or state or both? what for ?To continue taking revenge and prove what a right logger observed in 2014 that all brahmin women are attracted to low life Muslims? Which means brahmin men professing only knowledge and austerity for centuries are not strong or potent enough and that low life muslims fed on meat and beef for centuries and having a lot of experience in such matters are  capable of satiating starved brahmin women. For ideas?To ward off foreign enemy?

.
I am in a quagmire .

Don't the minorities have the entire media ,journos as thier supporters ?So what is so  attractive about me?
The only reason could be is that they know that my writings have a direct acces to those at center of power and they hope for a melt down.
It is happening .The more i abuse them nit picking on things about them which hardly  mattered to me till 2012 ,on thier nature , way of life , past history and  for intrusion , provocation  etc they are seen more positively

If low class or poor Muslims, christians and Hindus are doing all this to me out of fear of Authorities and not for money or revenge or conversion,in order that authorities will  get something out of me ,i feel sorry for all of them .
 few days back a young poor Brahmin Saivaite priest  whom i have never seen before in my locality was made to stand behind me in pursuance this same goal of no touch casing that causes scratching in my behind.on my way back from a walk in the evening ASaivaite brahmin woman of my flat who is in this shadowy work was in the vicinity.So it is not like as if only poor Muslims or Christians are  forced  to do this it is also poor Hindus who are forced into this

.That youth is a religious man , temple priest unlike the poor victims  of other communities.and he may have to go to a temple to do his duties or officiate on some religious function after this dirty act even if it is notional it is dirty.Horror to make such a person a unsuspecting victim in this nasty game What would his mother's feeling be if she knew ? what would all the Hindus reading this feel ?Young Srivaishnavaite priests officiating in temple premises are also used .
My blogging all these unheard perversity and lamentations seem to have no effect at all .It  is either  arrogance of power or desparation which has tossed all decency to winds .Both are unforgivable.

Timing of ripening of the fig tree.

The arsamaram --the fig tree in nearby temple covered itself with a rich crop of coral red berries in mid September.The fact that it had given out a rich crop was brought to my notice by screeches of a swarm of black bats feeding on the fruits frenzily at night.
It was reminiscent of the feeding frenzy of twittering flock of mynahs at day time, few years back when this tree had sent out an equally rich crop of berries .I observed at that time that the skies that were dry suddenly bacame overlaid with dark  clouds a day or two after the furious feasting came to an end and it started to rain .

Now the sky in mid september was blue and the heat was scorching .When the feasting came to an end i made abet that it would rain within few days.Much to my exhiliration dark clouds from nowhere rolled in and within few days it started to rain!
So my observation was right.i had blogged about this earlier asking whether the clouds were summoned by the fig tree to propogate its species?Or did it know exactly in which year it would rain sufficiently and chose that year to burst forth in full  so that it had 100 % chance of survival.

According to Bhagwat Gita fig tree is the most sacred  tree Probably  our ancients had  observed what i did .