silent bubbles.

The waves sparkling with thousands of silver stars , the reflection of early morning sun ,spread itself as frothy milk as it touched the sands .As the main waves withdrew back to the sea, the drenched sands were covered with bubbles of all shapes and sizes that lost all its air in few seconds and lay spent on the biscuit coloured sands ,wetting it even more as it gave up its identity in its very short  lived life.

Brithrahari the 1 cent AD philosopher poet king 's observation as he sat meditating on the banks of ganga at Haridwar ,that life was like bubbles ---budhdudha  of a rapidly flowing stream came to my mind as my feet soaked in the cool water  on a warm day and inhaled the restless energy  of the relentlessly crashing waves  as well as the gentle eternal calm of the deep waters,beyond. Both, facets of nature.

There were  couples  with kids ,playing in the waves , an old lady laughingly chiding her grandson who was caught unexpectedly in a  wave and was rolled around.Groups of young men playing cricket and several others practising silambhaatam--traditional fighting with sticks,and few others executing gymnastic tricks and fishermen unloading their  catch from their small catamarans--.A black butterfly flitted just above the spray , flirting with it ,seemingly taking a dangerous flight path.

Innocent faces of blissful ignorance was to be found everywhere. Creased at the most with the worry of having to attend office tomorrow after the leisurely weekend.How i wish that i could gather their innocence and ignorance wrought by ordinary normal  mundane but  comforting existence and smear it over  and regain my own.A lanky horse and its rider came near , searching eagerly for children's  his customers .The good old proverb came to mind -If wishes were horses i would be riding it .

The wall of silence i had erected around myself was breached exactly an year back and was slowly chipped away .Of what use  is that to me or to those around? It seems only death has been visiting periodically ,ever since, then.

Before i was haunted only by the death of my son but now the deaths elsewhere unconnected to me yet in a round about way linked to me has started to haunt me as well.
How i wish that i am really a paranoid, scizhoid, delusional lesbian cum transgender and treated precisely as such as per the rumours floated around me and not what i am actually being perceived by those desperate for power.

PPT's and immoral and unethical media houses  ,life of innocents , civilians is nothing to be trifled with , whoever and which ever side they may be.

Who is the maniac who is in the centre of this all? The deciding authority of the information gathered from me , from my conversations and even the contents of the stories i read.Use me if at all [i seem to have no say]only for creative purposes and never  for destructive ends.

The thread.
1. 22.5.13--Decided and stated aloud that it was my 'Karma 'that no one near me is wiling to believe the bugs, tapes etc.

2.24.5.13 ---in a telephonic conversation with my brother delved in past .The fact of our childhood pal returning to normal life after a brief stint as a Naxalite in AP.That of a famous neighbour marrying a tribal woman which was disliked by his father an up Brahmin'.of course i could overhear some one else's breathing and sharp intakes.


Earlier my conversations were very brief and never into the past.

3. 25 th noon read    'Ants 'a short story on tribals by the Oriya writer Gopinath mohanty  in 1940 ,about smuggling of rice by tribals owing to starvation and the hero an officer'tracking them down the jungles to book them for crime against state, but dropping it with a sudden  change of heart on seeing their pathetic forms.

Just who has this unbridled power and right not derived from any law ,to read what i read in my leisure?

4. Night got the news of the death of ex salwa judam chief and several congress men[collateral damage?] at the hands of Maoists.
I immediately caught a cold and at same time burned with fever.My facial muscles tightened and earlier weepiness was replaced by anger bubbling ,forth.

Only a bhasmasuran will work thus.Every party seems to have one at its midst.The  difference is in the scale of wounds inflicted  on self and causalities caused as collateral damage.

A line of co incidences and i am absolutely paranoid ,thinking my house is rigged and bugged and  under covert surveillence and totally delusional in stringing them together and arriving at illogical and irrational conclusions which is nothing but the sustained efforts of kgb and co to show my true colours to the faithfuls.All nothing but bubbles.

I dearly and very clearly hope so.What a relief that would be ..
.

Cooling effect.

The rapidly rising sun dispersing its summer special scalding rays ,to peak at noon was muted though giving indication of its fury it would display as the day progressed , was tempered by early morning breeze that gently touched the leaves of the arasamaram/peepul and absorbed its sacredness and early morning dewy freshness and spread it all around with unselfish magnanimity as i sit and write this observation on the recent happenings , the mellifluous and clear diction of the Tn  CM in the floor of the assembly that wafted over the  percinits  [ and tv] with a cool fragrance.

There is nothing half hearted in the Cm's initiative in ploughing back the offerings of devotees coupled with some assistance from the state-maybe, in refurbishing 1000's of temples across the state .
This coupled with enormous welfare measures for all and in particular to women recognises the fact that spiritual needs of the populace is as much important as the material well being.

The development schemes given in the ads in papers finds itself relegated to a small corner, a drizzle , eclipsed by the heavy down pour of welfare schemes.
Yet it is there and that matters greatly to the energetic and ever growing tsunami of youth population waiting impatiently and restlessly to carve out a future for themselves .
These job opportunities would hopefully gain momentum in succeeding seasons and come down as a heavy down pour. 

written on 17.5 13  6.30 am in a note book and blogged on 20 th May.

The great white.

Have to hand it out to ppts.They may have no original thinking  or lack instinctively honest outrage against injustice  but do posses the knack to adopt  by sifting through the natural outrage or induced  by deliberate and sustained provocations [like changing my post dates and ordering every one to rudely ostracise me by spreading outlandish rumours]  and to turn it around to' its' benefit.

 Attempting to gain moral high ground by removing two ministers in a jatpat decision an immediate reaction to my observation on cults ,superstition etc.
Nothing wrong .Good for the nation.to trim the high handedness of politicos.But apologists lamented at the perception  of the dent to the  ol, old party's so called sterling image by concretising what the dtd [dirty tricks dept] would have in matter of time brushed it away as a illusion and nothing more.

So the next move to divert attention from oneself young men who are lured by gold quest and scare easily were caught and paraded as real villains --Brutus [for a measly 40 lakhs!] of this great cricketing nation! Isn't cricket the modern religion of this ancient country? Unpardonable crime! So the hmv's [msns] screamed Cheating maybe But unpardonable?

Wah , Wah the games ppts play with connivance of kgb's shrinks, etc would fill library.

Now how do i know or perceive all this? My household , family's past and present and everything in it has become an open laboratory with ppts , KGB,s ,journos literally living cheek and jowl ,and all eyes and ears for past one year [maybe even earlier but i became aware of this only when i was forcibly made to be aware of, with the other two kept forcibly in blissful ignorance].To stir , churn and use whatever is thrown up to maintain and further its power.

Just wondering .how many more innocents are such a source of  free information and suggestions across this country  without even being aware that are being watched ,heard and manipulated?

So what if a family's psyche is trifled with? Aren't they all pitching in their own way unconsciously and may i add subconsciously for the betterment of this country as well as politicians and co?Two in one! Collateral damages [head aches on and of, queasy stomach, monotonous routines like inmates in  a jail , contrived social isolation, infringments into privacy in every possible way without even  a tiny oppurtunity to let down one's hair] are unavoidable.After all this naive and unworldly  family is a spitting image of the main opposition that has been handed to it generously on a platter?

What for are all those fishes swimming around in the sea if not to be gainfully harvested?

Man adapts to his environment .Congress  has mastered this natural instinct and has perfected it to survive , the eternal struggle for power ,hoping to do so forever.Have to admit grudgingly that half a century of undisputed authority is no mean an achievement.

PS. The only adversary of the great white's are the killer whales .
pps.the earlier post -change of dates- was written and saved on 10th evening.
And this was written in a note book on 18 th 11 am and published on 20 th may.
 .

change of dates.

ppt's and kgb and co why did you change the date of 'see be aye'post?Are you scared that i will become a cult figure ? A matashri or a sadhvi to gullible hindus reading my blogs?. Those who read my blogs must be well educated to be taken in by the string of co incidences or maybe even karma that has been dogging me since i landed in this politically charged segment of blogosphere. So it seems it is you who are all superstitious , illogical and irrational that you all pretend to be otherwise.

And kgb don't you dare scare young sales boys by informing about my visit before hand .I will not eat them alive  .I was and am a committed mother myself  of two young men .Ask and warn brazen young women , lazy layabouts whizzing on motorbikes from nearby slum and middle aged people to play your tricks . Leave sincere , responsibleand hard working young men alone.They scare too easily

Caged parrot?

I am writing this with a feeling of dejavu since it was exactly an year to date May 9 th 2012 [it could have been exactly on 8 th itself if i was not prevented from publishing the post in all probability by the caged parrot] that i blogged about the misuse of cbi  by politicians at the height of the merciless cloak and dagger inquisition, innovated to suit modern times that i  was subject to for a considerable period of time.

i called cbi as, see =C ,know=be=B , nod=aye = I.The honourable and wise judges of the supreme court have described them in the similar vein but in more poetic manner, today .

It is my very humble submission that the lordships have been a bit too magnanimous in romantising the premier orgns nature by equating them with the docility and pleasant allure of parrots with their adorable lisping and mimicking .It would be apt and rather more fitting to describe them as  trained falcons let loose on and off to chase, corner and close on the prey with a shrill cry of exultation  ,to feed the insatiable and  powerful appetite of their political masters.

How ever the honourable judges of the supreme court have my sympathies .I have been there before[still am] and know how it feels to be shortchanged by politicos and co in  a cavalier  manner ,actively abetted by their pets--caged parrot /trained falcons in warding off the threat to their power,and i am only a very ordinary citizen an unknown Indian whilst the judges of SC sit on top of one of the most powerful  and independant arms of the trinity of state power as is envisaged by our constitution viz --judiciary.

Chinese accquisitions.

Is the pitching of tents a  thathastu --meaning 'so be it' reply to prince charming's comic enactment of the dragon's ways in a public platform?That they believe in muscle power whilst we in munna bai type of hugs?