Periya aazhwar's thirumozhi turned the tables?

I wanted a bit of spiritual literature to enliven the day and the hymns i chanced upon in my book of translations [done by me]were that of 8 th cent vaishnavaite saint cum poet Peryiahzwar .His hymns  apart from devotion and bhakthi are full of wit ,wisdom capped by beauties of nature as well as natural happenings  .
For our purposes i' ll quote two of them which i read at 11.30 am today that may have a bearing in sudden twist and turns in the political scenario.

**378 .Before you are wrapped up in new clothes from head to foot and placed on the bier and taken to the cemetery,
and before your relatives converge and weep loudly lamenting  only about your good deeds ,
Like a pack of jackals hovering around a pot full of jaggery ,
If you merge yourself into Govinda ,one who is adorned with kuasthuba jewel , by placing him in your heart ,
then you can skip yama's   domain.

The above verse is guidelines to householders to overcome fear of gruesome punishments that may be meted out by yama the god of death at time of death.


**369.When a fistful of grains is sold for exorbitant amounts as during famines,
The residents of thirukottiyur are famous nation wide for their large heartedness and kindness ,in willingly parting with thier food to those in need,
Without hiding their scarce resources and without expecting anything in return,
To those residents of T kottiyur who also worship bhagwan calling aloud ,
Kesava, purushotama  !the self illumined vamana ! ,
I am willing to enslave myself and do their bidding!

This hymn is in praise of  Koshtiyur a sacred Narsimhar sthalam at Tn.

My skin pricked with the shafts of 1ooo stares and felt like as if  i was licked by spiky tongue of a poisonous pup as i read on , an itchy feeling that had lost its intensity after i joined bjp[i am not a full fledged activist at the ground ,which may explain the indifference of that party or its sheer inability and exploitation of the space thus ceded, to its perceived advantage by the ruling party,what ever i am sticking to bjp] only its intensity and not its omnipotence, it is clear now and it lasted  for quite sometime.

The news at 2pm was that fgn minister was supporting his colleague--defence,

the news at 3 pm , a jolt from the blue that the food security bill had been tabled, presided over by a very smiling speaker whilst the opposition leader sputtered in indignation and helplessness .

An cruel example of the dictum 'Victors take it all and the losers have to grin and bear it '.

 6 pm read the news item of 6 Aug in Sankara daily that rss chief has asked all units to help modi to win.
could that explain the mental pressure i was subject to that whole day [with accompanying itchiness] and the day before , but i held my tongue to the obvious disappointment of kgb---pale face displayed by kicking and kicking the scooter..[having been trained by constant symbolism for past one year  i have to hazard guesses.]

Now why should the buzz around modi [the info reg his political moves i am pretty ignorant of but is at the finger tips of kgb, ppt's and co]make me the recipient of the works [covert pressures --gadgets, aroma , etc]
and needle me to speak or act in a manner that would goad the leadership or decision takers of Cong to arrive at a instant decision and act swiftly?Weird! Why is my mundane every day life getting more and more inextractibly connected with modi's very active political life?

An eccentricity /perversion cum superstition of those in very high places.The irony of it all is that i have never had my horoscope or my family members read nor did i ever consult the Almach -panchangam for auspicious or inauspicious time in all my life so far.

 

silent bubbles.

The waves sparkling with thousands of silver stars , the reflection of early morning sun ,spread itself as frothy milk as it touched the sands .As the main waves withdrew back to the sea, the drenched sands were covered with bubbles of all shapes and sizes that lost all its air in few seconds and lay spent on the biscuit coloured sands ,wetting it even more as it gave up its identity in its very short  lived life.

Brithrahari the 1 cent AD philosopher poet king 's observation as he sat meditating on the banks of ganga at Haridwar ,that life was like bubbles ---budhdudha  of a rapidly flowing stream came to my mind as my feet soaked in the cool water  on a warm day and inhaled the restless energy  of the relentlessly crashing waves  as well as the gentle eternal calm of the deep waters,beyond. Both, facets of nature.

There were  couples  with kids ,playing in the waves , an old lady laughingly chiding her grandson who was caught unexpectedly in a  wave and was rolled around.Groups of young men playing cricket and several others practising silambhaatam--traditional fighting with sticks,and few others executing gymnastic tricks and fishermen unloading their  catch from their small catamarans--.A black butterfly flitted just above the spray , flirting with it ,seemingly taking a dangerous flight path.

Innocent faces of blissful ignorance was to be found everywhere. Creased at the most with the worry of having to attend office tomorrow after the leisurely weekend.How i wish that i could gather their innocence and ignorance wrought by ordinary normal  mundane but  comforting existence and smear it over  and regain my own.A lanky horse and its rider came near , searching eagerly for children's  his customers .The good old proverb came to mind -If wishes were horses i would be riding it .

The wall of silence i had erected around myself was breached exactly an year back and was slowly chipped away .Of what use  is that to me or to those around? It seems only death has been visiting periodically ,ever since, then.

Before i was haunted only by the death of my son but now the deaths elsewhere unconnected to me yet in a round about way linked to me has started to haunt me as well.
How i wish that i am really a paranoid, scizhoid, delusional lesbian cum transgender and treated precisely as such as per the rumours floated around me and not what i am actually being perceived by those desperate for power.

PPT's and immoral and unethical media houses  ,life of innocents , civilians is nothing to be trifled with , whoever and which ever side they may be.

Who is the maniac who is in the centre of this all? The deciding authority of the information gathered from me , from my conversations and even the contents of the stories i read.Use me if at all [i seem to have no say]only for creative purposes and never  for destructive ends.

The thread.
1. 22.5.13--Decided and stated aloud that it was my 'Karma 'that no one near me is wiling to believe the bugs, tapes etc.

2.24.5.13 ---in a telephonic conversation with my brother delved in past .The fact of our childhood pal returning to normal life after a brief stint as a Naxalite in AP.That of a famous neighbour marrying a tribal woman which was disliked by his father an up Brahmin'.of course i could overhear some one else's breathing and sharp intakes.


Earlier my conversations were very brief and never into the past.

3. 25 th noon read    'Ants 'a short story on tribals by the Oriya writer Gopinath mohanty  in 1940 ,about smuggling of rice by tribals owing to starvation and the hero an officer'tracking them down the jungles to book them for crime against state, but dropping it with a sudden  change of heart on seeing their pathetic forms.

Just who has this unbridled power and right not derived from any law ,to read what i read in my leisure?

4. Night got the news of the death of ex salwa judam chief and several congress men[collateral damage?] at the hands of Maoists.
I immediately caught a cold and at same time burned with fever.My facial muscles tightened and earlier weepiness was replaced by anger bubbling ,forth.

Only a bhasmasuran will work thus.Every party seems to have one at its midst.The  difference is in the scale of wounds inflicted  on self and causalities caused as collateral damage.

A line of co incidences and i am absolutely paranoid ,thinking my house is rigged and bugged and  under covert surveillence and totally delusional in stringing them together and arriving at illogical and irrational conclusions which is nothing but the sustained efforts of kgb and co to show my true colours to the faithfuls.All nothing but bubbles.

I dearly and very clearly hope so.What a relief that would be ..
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Oracle strikes again?

The word 'fortunately' is at the tip of my tongue though the word more appropriate would be 'deliberately' and by design i was allowedto walk on the terrace from 5.30 pm onwards for full 40 minutes without any let or hindrance  yesterday evening.
Black crows ,a group of which had cawed raucously  ,strangely at midnight [the swift retributive tricks of kgb gigolo and co either for referring to gigolo as the personification of my past karmas or for having laughed at the sight of rahul baba waving vigorously at the gathering at Jaipur in that chintan--when my husband quipped that his time was up and thereby was waving a hearty goodbye or for both] to subside only when i got of the bed to appraise  myself of the nonstop bedlam outside my window and popped in a crocin to relieve myself of the dull headache that had cropped  during the day quite unnaturally,were wheeling and diving in the eastern sky ,restlessly in huge flocks ,before settling for the night on treetops ,at some distance.

A star pair most probably Gemini the twins and Jupiter had risen shedding their lights dimly as it was yet to darken .As i gazed at them pondering over the exploitative nature of mankind and wished that i hadn't been made ,alert all over again to the muck, dishonesty and deceptions to which i had innured myself in the past 5 years ,the scent of a strong shampoo assailed me .The newly resident thin balck cat that had looked very longingly at a well proportioned grey pigeon perched beyond its reach satisfied its hunger by nibbling at the rice balls that were offered on' kanu --pongal' to birds which had become dry and crunchy ,purred in contentment.

 .Mosquito's snipped at my feet making it impossible to enjoy the hush of the dusk in peace for more than 10 minutes making me move towards the stairway. The evening western sky as seen from there was a long sash of red satin ribbon over a mauve horizon,was breath taking in its subtle beauty.Black bats  were out in the open sky and as they flew over the terrace they strangely seemed to be disoriented  at a certain point as if deflected by an invisible ray and had to  regain their balance ,redirect themselves to flap away.

After sprucing up ,decided o catch up with my prayer that couldn't be offered in the morning as the house wasn't silent and peaceful nor did i have the time then.

As  i meditated a disturbing thing happened , my late younger brother kept popping up .Very unusual of him to do so,making me wonder whether his family was in distress.

I had determined not to speak till this chintan blah blah was going on since i know that it will be transmitted , interpreted[not always in the meaning it was to be] and used causing me more disquiet.I was also determined not to show my reactions whilst reading articles from the websites i routinely visit.Though my son refused to believe in the existence of the powerful monitoring i am subject to he was right when he observed that i was excessively addicted to the virtual world of audiences and letters and exhorted me to let go of it or be prepared to face the consequences [which i am already in form of social ostracisation --just what is my crime ?,harrassment at every corner,with once polite sales persons turning nastily rude,once indifferent passerbys either glaring or staring at me in unconcealed curiosity,once courteous servise providers bankers, plumbers etc indifferent and non cooperative] ,i as usual did not listen to his sane advise in this matter.

So at 7.30 pm soon after my prayers there i was seated before the PC reading and shaking my head in disagreement very very impreciptebly.[ unable to check this new found habit, probably the outcome of repeated suggestions from the attic.] to pp's  [toi blogs] observation that Modi's chances were slim in 2014 elections.Was this the clincher?

I was through with the net by 8 pm and could hear the  excited voice of kgb gigolo and co from down below like those raucous  crows that cawed in the middle of last night.What was the excitement all about?

The 9 o clock breaking hot news had it. The crown prince had shed his reluctance  and has formally taken the post that was always his for asking.

I noticed with a shock a few days back that the moles under my right eyes have enlarged and darkened.Skin allergy or excessive glare in confined areas?

Am i being used as a oracle? The answer from god? Or as the truthful representative but refined embodiment of views and princilpes the opposite camp is supposed to stand for?Or was excessive faith verging on the blind is being reposed on me on my avoved ability to forsee the future of this nation?

Have i just spun a fantastic yarn or is there some substance in that old adage that some times facts are stranger than fiction?

The midnight cawing, .converastions,walk and timings are all factually correct and true but with regard to their connections i am perceiving with the polity of thiscountry, your guess is as good as mine.

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