silent bubbles.

The waves sparkling with thousands of silver stars , the reflection of early morning sun ,spread itself as frothy milk as it touched the sands .As the main waves withdrew back to the sea, the drenched sands were covered with bubbles of all shapes and sizes that lost all its air in few seconds and lay spent on the biscuit coloured sands ,wetting it even more as it gave up its identity in its very short  lived life.

Brithrahari the 1 cent AD philosopher poet king 's observation as he sat meditating on the banks of ganga at Haridwar ,that life was like bubbles ---budhdudha  of a rapidly flowing stream came to my mind as my feet soaked in the cool water  on a warm day and inhaled the restless energy  of the relentlessly crashing waves  as well as the gentle eternal calm of the deep waters,beyond. Both, facets of nature.

There were  couples  with kids ,playing in the waves , an old lady laughingly chiding her grandson who was caught unexpectedly in a  wave and was rolled around.Groups of young men playing cricket and several others practising silambhaatam--traditional fighting with sticks,and few others executing gymnastic tricks and fishermen unloading their  catch from their small catamarans--.A black butterfly flitted just above the spray , flirting with it ,seemingly taking a dangerous flight path.

Innocent faces of blissful ignorance was to be found everywhere. Creased at the most with the worry of having to attend office tomorrow after the leisurely weekend.How i wish that i could gather their innocence and ignorance wrought by ordinary normal  mundane but  comforting existence and smear it over  and regain my own.A lanky horse and its rider came near , searching eagerly for children's  his customers .The good old proverb came to mind -If wishes were horses i would be riding it .

The wall of silence i had erected around myself was breached exactly an year back and was slowly chipped away .Of what use  is that to me or to those around? It seems only death has been visiting periodically ,ever since, then.

Before i was haunted only by the death of my son but now the deaths elsewhere unconnected to me yet in a round about way linked to me has started to haunt me as well.
How i wish that i am really a paranoid, scizhoid, delusional lesbian cum transgender and treated precisely as such as per the rumours floated around me and not what i am actually being perceived by those desperate for power.

PPT's and immoral and unethical media houses  ,life of innocents , civilians is nothing to be trifled with , whoever and which ever side they may be.

Who is the maniac who is in the centre of this all? The deciding authority of the information gathered from me , from my conversations and even the contents of the stories i read.Use me if at all [i seem to have no say]only for creative purposes and never  for destructive ends.

The thread.
1. 22.5.13--Decided and stated aloud that it was my 'Karma 'that no one near me is wiling to believe the bugs, tapes etc.

2.24.5.13 ---in a telephonic conversation with my brother delved in past .The fact of our childhood pal returning to normal life after a brief stint as a Naxalite in AP.That of a famous neighbour marrying a tribal woman which was disliked by his father an up Brahmin'.of course i could overhear some one else's breathing and sharp intakes.


Earlier my conversations were very brief and never into the past.

3. 25 th noon read    'Ants 'a short story on tribals by the Oriya writer Gopinath mohanty  in 1940 ,about smuggling of rice by tribals owing to starvation and the hero an officer'tracking them down the jungles to book them for crime against state, but dropping it with a sudden  change of heart on seeing their pathetic forms.

Just who has this unbridled power and right not derived from any law ,to read what i read in my leisure?

4. Night got the news of the death of ex salwa judam chief and several congress men[collateral damage?] at the hands of Maoists.
I immediately caught a cold and at same time burned with fever.My facial muscles tightened and earlier weepiness was replaced by anger bubbling ,forth.

Only a bhasmasuran will work thus.Every party seems to have one at its midst.The  difference is in the scale of wounds inflicted  on self and causalities caused as collateral damage.

A line of co incidences and i am absolutely paranoid ,thinking my house is rigged and bugged and  under covert surveillence and totally delusional in stringing them together and arriving at illogical and irrational conclusions which is nothing but the sustained efforts of kgb and co to show my true colours to the faithfuls.All nothing but bubbles.

I dearly and very clearly hope so.What a relief that would be ..
.

Chinese accquisitions.

Is the pitching of tents a  thathastu --meaning 'so be it' reply to prince charming's comic enactment of the dragon's ways in a public platform?That they believe in muscle power whilst we in munna bai type of hugs?

Athigiri mantap.at Sri Vardaraja Perumal temple at Kanchipuram

sri Vardarajar with His consorts Sri Devi, Bhu Devi and PerunDevi Thaayaar at Varadarajar Temple

Two arasamarams/aswath trees/ flanked the  still greenish waters of the temple tank that has in its depths the wooden idol of Sri Varadharajar ,immersed to be taken out only once in 40 years and then worshipped for a month and then to be lowered into the watery sanctum till the next cycle .
One of the trees was in fullsome prime ,covered by huge swathes of green leaves through which it was impossible to see their support--the tawny branches.The other tree was quite bare and lean ,having shed the year old fatigued and worn out leaves and was unfurlng copper coloured leaflets all over its crown that was a perfect foil to its lush green companion as well as the leafy green pond below.

The mid day sun shone directly overhead burnishing the tender leaves on the top to gleaming deep red tassels whilst the dazzling reflection of the fiery sun from the tanks surface lit up those leaflets at the lower branches that were overshadowed by the ebullient red canopy that did not allow the rays to penetrate below, to a delicate rose  .
All this i watched from the steps of the steel enmeshed enclosed mantap built by Vijayanagar emperors that lies just outside the main temple of Sri Varadharajar at kanchipuram,when i took a short break from my leisurely and detailed examination of the wealth of sculptures adorning the huge and tall and numerous  pillars ,from its very top to its  base.Is it the unique shape and the feathery light weight of the leaf of the sacred fig tree/arasamaram that makes it catch the slightest whisper of wind ,to sway and dangle individually from its stem though growing in bunches like other trees, that makes it so enticing, attractive and eye catching?

Does its exalted status in Hindu belief since time immemorial apart from the various legends associated with it ,stem from this simple fact?That unlike other trees ,each leaf of Arasamaram is an individual in its own right and has an independent identity of its own, though they look alike and are dependant on the branches and roots of a single primary tree for its growth,stability and sustenance?

Now back to the highly sculpted mantap which according to a very sleepy watchman manning it is nearly 2000 years old!One familiar with history would put it to only 700-500 years ,since each sculpture bears the clearly artistic and unique signature of Vijayanagar emperors who ruled the Deccan from near about13 th cent --16 th cent ad. The temple however could be 2000 years or even older.Since all visitors and devotees are not familiar with history a notice board with a brief history would help in dispelling the ignorance shrouding the facts.

An leisurely examination by moving the head from the base to the high ceiling ,since every inch of every pillar has been painstakingly carved led to the conclusion that the mantap is more or less a dedication or a memorial of sort to the 11 th cent Sri Vaishnava acharya Sri Ramanuja--[1017--1137]His familiar seated form with the staff of a sanyasi held inbetween his folded hands adorns the base, mid section and the capitol of most of the pillars along with those of Vishnu, varahar, Narsimhar, Krishna , Hanuman Vyasa,Rama Sita and Lakshmi,carved all over .
AS the arsamarams leaves dangled in  a delectable dance and quivered in a rosy reflection over the green waters housing Varada ,the deity worshipped by Ramanuja who lived in Kanchipuram for decades, i couldn't help wondering at the energy and force that impelled him to carry on tirelessly to revive Hinduism that had become vague due to the wrong interpretation of Maya philosophy of Adi Shankara,[years after his departure], that dismissed every thing as mere delusions .

Sri Ramanuja established that life is real and Iswara is full of good qualities and is worthy of worship in any form and that archa  or deity form is  the easiest and tangible way of paying obeisance to the ultimate .

He was also an extra ordinary  revolutionary  In those early centuries viz 1000 AD when caste barriers were strictly upheld and its transgressions punished immediately with ostracisation ,undeterred by societal pressures to conform ,he honoured knowledge and devotion where ever he found it on whom so ever it may be and thus pestered a Sudra , a very pious man to become his guru and was overcome with such a rage at his wife's treatment ,[customary demeaning but the norm those days] whilst serving food to his guru that he immediately expelled her to her parents and instantly took up sanyasa .  Ramanuja was a brahmin.  
--
And when he learnt the closely guarded mantra for moksha from a Brahmin to be passed only to Brahmin's with repercussions for transgressions he chose to climb a nearby temple tower and to proclaim it loudly to all those interested to the way to moksha .His guru's fury abated with his reasoning that he didn't mind going through the vicious cycle of birth and death if 1000 others are enabled to gain entry into Vaikuntum or  attain moksha!

A rare , bright individual whose personality overcame all hurdles thrown by society and authorities.


He attracted followers from all strata of the society as well as castes and he embraced them all into his sect --Sri Vaishnavisim by following the earlier aazhwars--mystic vaishnavaite saints dictum that a devotee of Vishnu was more dearer than Narayana himself1But he did all this with missionary's zeal .He made 74 families--his followers [and not any mutt ]responsible to carry on vedic, sri vaishnavaite traditions ,visishta dwaita  philosophy  as well as the thorough reading of the Ramayana and the Gita compulsory , with clear injunction to never stray away.And i have descended from one such family.

Sri Ramanuja lived in times when royal patronage was necessary to practise and propagate one's religious convictions and beliefs.As Brithrahari had observed in 1 cent AD itself that there were only two gods  --Siva or Vishnu , the same was true in the times of Ramanuja a 1000 years later as well .

The Tamil king was a staunch saivite who couldn't tolerate the popularity that Ramanuja was acquiring , hence went on the path of persecution that made Ramanuja to leave Sri rangam and live in karnataka in exile for more than a decade,returning after his son ,who wasn't all that dogmatic suceeded to the throne.  .Another religion that was in dominanace was Jainism to which the ruler of karnataka subscribed to,which he relinquished to embrace Sri Vaishnavism , overwhelmed by the ministering abilities of Ramanuja who cured his daughter of her hitherto incurable ailment and gave him his full patronage.

However Ramanuja had to face stiff resistance to his all embracing policy to his fold and in his quest to standardise the form of ritualistic worship in temples  in neighbouring kerala  as well as, orissa ,where the priests couldn't stomach such ideas and literally beat him and left him for dead .The Brahmins of Kashmir were also equally jealous in guarding their own ways of worship and unwilling to share their philosophical thoughts  ,when Ramanuja visited that place .He was driven away overnight.

Was the rapid spread of Islam an factor in the relentless endeavour of Ramanuja to throw open the spiritual secrets guarded jealously by Brahmins for centuries to all irrespective of caste and creed, to keep the drifting flock intact?By now Ghaznivadis were established at Delhi and were spreading their power, influence and religion in the principalities of their conquests.He might have wanted to consolidate all Hindus under one banner --Sri Vaishnavism as a bulwark against the rapid spread of Islam in Bharat,

There is a story held to be factual that when Ramanuja requested the Delhi sultan to hand over the processional deity of the main deity of the temple at Melkote, karnataka , which was heaped along with other idols raided by the marauders , the king's daughter was so attached to that idol which was her favourite doll that she wouldn't let go ,though her father acceded to Ramnuja's request ,and followed him to Melkote and remained there till her premature expiry.

In commemoration of this unique attachment and devotion  of that young Muslim girl an idol known as Bibi nachiayar,   standing in supplication at the feet of the idol ,was installed at the sanctum of the vishnu temple at Melkote and it remains there till date.There is also a sannidhi for this 'Tulaka Nacchiayar' at the second prakara [circumbulatory passage] of Sri Rangam temple .And the daily prasad cooked at the temple kitchen and offered to Sri Ranganathar includes chappathi, butter and dhal ,in honour of that  muslim girl's devotion to the idol of Narayana.This practise is continuing till today.

Sri Ramanuja's sphere of influence endures till date  in Tamilnadu, Andhra pradesh and Karnataka.


 

Liberals.

Liberals in India means and includes as per my personal experience ,all those chiefly ,politico's and journo's  who are all at 'liberty' to compromise the privacy of an individual without the slightest trace of compunction and nil guilty conscience for doing so and who also help themselves ' liberaly' to ideas with the code of honour of thieves viz sharing the booty with magnanimous impartiality and equality in total secrecy and silence [ie without ratting out on each other,tho' some jornos in a sudden attack of conscience do let it slip  sort of helping me piece the bizzare volte face in the behaviour of some of my longtime neighbours and total strangers as well,and the strange co incidence ,repititively of what ever i speak in my dining room or write in mydiary in my bedroom in my house or in a hotel or even in a stationery train becoming at times the trigger for policy decisions ,the topic of discussions in English news channels [barring Times now] and articles of star jounos in leading newspapers and blogs, a real time tsunami of deceit , deception , mediocrity and lack of originality!]amongst both left and right  without the slightest fear of infringement of copy rights or even much worse do not even feel the tiniest twinge of shame or remorse in prying information slyly using unethical methods that would put the notorious KGB to shame and serially preying upon a individuals mind , the identified victim, labelling her or him as fickle minded and insane and thus justifying the blatant exploitation and unabashedly invading the privacy of that individual ,mouthing all the while with a amazing gift of the gab or exceptional writing skills or both,insincere  and fake beliefs in the adherence's to ethics, morality , human  and fundamental rights.

On the whole a liberal in here is more shameful than  a hussy ,since the latter sells only the body whilst the former sells the soul --the sense of self worth for a few rich pickings.

Hmm all this while i was naively under the impression that a liberal is one who was honest [yes of course only to themselves]compassionate[ some are ,largely amongst themselves],broad minded [so broad that the boundaries between virtue and vices do not exist]and seeped with integrity [actually chamealon like flexibility]and would recoil in horror [ enjoying it hugely ] at the mere thought [ load of planning goes in] of stooping to snoop and scoop .Pooh the image i had formed about libs has blown off like  a puff of smoke.

The theorem :- liberals= ethically and morally challenged and corrupt with making money and acquiring and extending power as the one and only goal in life
In short end justifies the means of a Indian Liberal.Crooks in virginal white.

Thank god that i am a conservative if that is what a person devoid of the characteristic features  of a liberal listed above is supposed to be called.This realisation gives me a great relief .

It is assured that most liberals would have read  this as i write with avid interest and a patronising smile or a frown of having their  sensibilities  hurt by a brute of a person like me but proceed undeterred [life must go on ,no?] to satiate their enormous hunger by grazing greedily from a neighbouring unfenced lush pastures  and regruiting discussions and articles in tons!

My relationship with them has been marked by bitter verbal attacks aimed mainly at the laxity of their morals whilst their reactions generally has been one of amused tolerance in a very patronising manner [i as  a person donot exist] with the exception twice no thrice when cold blooded practicality and selfishness intrisnic to the nature of liberal extremism surfaced ,scorching and snuffing out lives that were considered expendable in the pursuit of' happiness' in other words extreme selfishness.

Walk on burning hot stones barefooted in mid day around a temple or hurt your elbow for just a few seconds to re- live the pain of those who have met a violent death  .Unbearable?                                                 Hope the kith and kin of those who have joined their ancestors today, find the strength to pull along.A strength that is hard to come by.

Mangalore.

The city reminds me of Mysore but as a newer and modern version.The main roads are in concrete..It also reminds of Varkala with its winding inner streets with a lot of ups and downs.
The temples are just like the one's i visited at Kerala .The construction and layout with broad tiled roof's, the tiles known as Mangalore tiles that once denoted prosperity when it was laid on roof's of dwellings in Tamilnadu and Andra  in lieu of the locally made small sized tiles.

The tiles have stuck on forming the roof of several houses  side by side with spanking new multi storeyed buildings and  flat roofs.What struck me was the abundance of banyan trees  on the road side exuding solidity and continuity.

At night however the city took a altogether new look as we took another route,with blazing lights over shops , malls and gym's that looks out on to the traffic laden road with the exercisers visible to every passerby through the transparent huge glass windows ,exactly like some of those gym's at Chennai.A country wide phenomena of gyming in confines but visible to the public, a deliberate design?

Mangalore is a mini modern metro like those dotting South and Gujarat --my recent visits being confined to these places so are my observations.

Took a  trip to nearest beach that was 15 kms away to watch the locally famed sunset.The beach is clean and the sun set dramatically as a  delicious orange candy within a wink of the eye.Like signal most of the shops -eateries closed and nearly all the visitors emptied the the sands walking towards their parked vehicles!
The beach reminded me of Elliot's beach as it was a couple of decades back, forlorn and empty.Now one has to jostle for even an inch of space ,especially after sun down!

The auto driver was bent on pointing out the manufacturing units like that of fertilisers, cement, iron and it companies  lining the way to our bleary eyes begging for sleep  from the tiring, long train journey.

I noticed earlier in the day that  a lot of women  were on the street on their own from middle class .I found a kindred spirit with all those carrying a parasol --many of them as a protection from the heat to their fair and sensitive skins.
Side by side with tip to toe black bhurka clad gils a sizable number are those In jeans , 3/4 th leggings  and mini shorts!

 Earlier we could not have darshan of Sri Venkataramana since a local holi festival  as  a part of Rath yatra was in full swing with crowds of youth and kids  milling around having a whale of a time splashing water and smearing colours.But had  a peaceful darshan of Mangala devi the deity of an ancient temple from whom the city derives its name. 

T he beach near Mangalore.