Excerpts from my diary ---24.5.14 saturday --10 .30.am
Is this still an innatl diary? Does it matter? if it still is? Since all readers have read my innermost and most private thoughts ,just what is left to divulge or hide?
Yesterday as i relaxed for an afternoon nap after acclimatising to the heat wave sweeping in through the open widows to catch up on my sleep that was totally lost yesterday night with a malfunctioning ac or deliberately controlled to push in the warmer air from the outside coupled with the news that A.K has opted for jail against bail made me spare a thought about the condition tihar.[why should i think of a fellow i have stopped sparing a thought since his ignominious faring in ls polls?--this realisation comes today and have added it only today ---28.5.14 probably hypnotised that night]It must be unbearably hot in this mid summer when temperatures are reaching 40 c and above.
of course it is a drama with an eye on election hoping for sympathy at his incarceration[or now to come to think of it the deliberate attempts of secularists either to take away the pre eminent importance of new Pm's swearing in when all eyes ought to be on him and not on a pesky neighbour's coming and going or aman ki asha's genuine efforts or two on one ,who know my pshycology well, to react and write something suitable? hope i am not giving them to much credit to somehow secure N.sahriffs attendance in oath of new pm .but one never knows with these shady operators relying heavily on delusional liberalism--realised earlier but written on only today---28.5.14]So his condition didn't trouble me but it made my thoughts fly back to the days when my grand father spent years in jail in similar and worseconditions sweating it out for the sake freedom for this country in his quest to drive away the Britishers.
Earlier in morn read an art in net by rights whose pet peeve is Nehru's acts and views that made a hotch potch of Indian foreign policy,economy and his reluctance to admit to his Hindu brahmin heritage and over emphasis on appeasement in his concept of secularism.
Yes what they often rant is right but the fact is he also agitated for freedom against the British occupation and he also sacrificed his family[tho much.much smaller in comparison to my g.fathers],luxurious life and spent year shut up in poky jails and bearing it all like my gf ,by nursing the hope of freeing this ancient sacred land from the clutches of western men with a totally different mind set and culture and then chart a new developmental course for the country both he and my gf and so many others loved and cherished deep within their hearts.
Then i all of a sudden i felt a stab of regret and was quite moved to tears when i realised that in a ironic twist of fate the grand -dil- /g.g.son of that man who wanted British out used me the g.daughter of another man who was his contemporary and shoulder at arms as well to facilitate the entry of US an Western power to gain entry into India under the cover of that UN act that likes to 'sensitise' policemen handling sexual harassment cases .
To me security/law and order is a sovereign power of a country which must never be compromised.
And i the transistor g.daughter of that man who sacrificed everything to see to that the Britishers left our country unwittingly helped the g.dil[who unlike me knew of that deal secured for her personal freedom].of another too well known a person who struggled with similar aim to secure her release from US courts[this news i by luck saw as sticker running in only one news channel--news x ,this news hasn't come in any other news tv , net or papers that i read', a total black out] to allow that top most western power in the world like BR was in their heydays, say 70 years back to get a foot hold in India.
i didn't mind sg securing her release only that it should not have been through me employing shady tricks with that anti national bargain ,by which i feel that i let down the ordinary people of India many of whom who love and protect their wives, sisters and daughters and wouldn't want foreigner to do it for them
secondly it has also mocked at the e sacrifises made by our ancestors mine and rg's [apart from others] to cleanse this land of western domination .
I post poned writing this feeling of betrayal as i know that Cong is meeting after a terrible disaster in the elections though it was sg, rg, + libs who were subjecting to unwarranted torture for past 3 years to provide emotional evidence when all they needed was to ask me straight away to help ,if they were really banking upon me to know the pulse and perceptions of this nation instead of resorting to humiliating me and every one in my family as well as relatives .90 % of my family are for Cong, from Cong and vote for Cong.
so i concluded that it as nothing but arrogance of power and money and a different mind set unlike the Indian mind set and the tendency to look down upon such a mind set , culture. history and even religion that made them resort to this delusional control.
As i sat up in the terrace enjoying the cool sea breeze and watching mars that is slowly losing its size and brightness[no longer near earth i suppose] i debated with myself whether i should take the pleasure of rubbing the nose of rg to dirt when nearly most of his own party men were doing it and have my sweet revenge for past humiliations or hold on .Decided to hold on since at the end of the day he is the g.g.son of Nehru and for all the rights damnation , Nehru is a tall leader .further he was a colleague/brother at arms of my gf , though nehru may not have jelled with my gf's otrthodox views ,he accommodated him .my father was a great fan of nehru but our two-mine and rg's connection is through the freedom fighters.So decided not to write something or nothing at all which may damage his prospects when the entire lot is in such a low spirits and cause further dissent.So didn't.Felt free and spoke over the cell.[may be i was put under pressure to write what a section of cong --maybe the modern pro development group wanted and i fought it off as i didn't have the heart to kick a person who was shadowily a part of my life , our past linkage,who was at crest of power for past 3 years, when he was down and under whilst i did it fearlessly that is expressing my view point &critisims of some of his and his mothers policies[never attacked them personally ],when he was in a high]
Today after going through the net articles i grasped the angst of younger party members of cong and it is that which made me decide to write this .They are all talented , educated and capable young men wanting to serve the country.Just why shouldn't they be allowed to take over ? .
To hell with nehru's dynasty.It is no longer the original dynasty.Why shouldn't cong i knew once .,not make a comeback dislodging the westernised trio,who are seeing India from a typical western view point viz--lambads, tribals, sc's minorities , caste , ill liberals etc and are not in the least proud of the developments , modernisations that are taking place or of the institutions, many of which nehru himself laid the foundations
Hope the patriotic , modern educated and culturally conscious youngsters not ashamed of their Indian origin and background like scindia and others will not have their dreams and hopes crushed at the prospect of cong vanishing into dust with the continuation of a indifferent leadership that muddied the prospects further by tilting too too openly in favour of minorities just for votes and upsetting the majority centrist in the process without any tangible benefits for both or from both .The simple logic is if a Hindu leader like nehru hugged and kissed minorities it was seen as secular but if a minority leader like sg did it is seen as communal in a country populated by hindus,Frankly to survive she and rg ought to have been or appeared to be more hindu than a hindu..Doesn't imran an anglo pak bend himself to appear more muslim than a muslim?politics, keeping in touch with ground level realities..
Actually i have written all this in my blogs long long back and got punished every time i did ,but who can wake a man who is pretending to sleep?
since i have decided to let it out whether any thing happens or not this is my view,
The ghan family is not in sync with the aspirations and ordinary values of a vast majority f populace which is youthful and center rights not ashamed of being a hindu and are not aggressively hindu either.
They are not bothered about rights, this right , that right but something concrete --like money earned from a job and to spend it for a better standard of living .They do not find any thing wrong in various institutions only that there should be no corruption .
Finally i shed a few tear for the state of cong 2 year back itself .Actually am not bothered any more. But the boisterousness from my flat residents have vanished[prob all are cong] and there is a funeral like atmosphere in here as well as on tv with journos and anchors fuming in frustration and that has in a way made me write this.
If at all the grand old party has to survive and become inclusive and regain its meritocracy the white Moguls have to let go.
Definitely i have written this under nudging as other wise i wouldn't bother ,but it is my real view .I can be even more truthful but it would be too harsh on the g's and their educated minority fans and pseudo secularists and libs.
TV news at 12.30 pm N.Sharieff has accepted Modi's invitation and is visiting India at his oath taking ceremony.good news.
2.15.pm.
oh my god ! Is this still an international diary?Did N. sharif decide to visit after reading mt diary writing in the morn? .It is a good result no doubt.[i am guessing it is do with my genuine feeling of regret of letting down ordinary Indians by letting US in to do the policing]
But if it was due to my diary writing that is enabling foreign policy and diplomacy this may tempt the new M --modi and co to continue with this arrangement viz views of a ordinary citizen and i hope that modi and co are confident enough to chart their own foreign policy , tackling civil society etc on their own and not rely shadowily upon my life and writings.
This ordinary business has become so extra ordinary i past 2-3 years that my ordinary life has gone for a toss and i Am very keen on getting back as quickly as possible to my ordinary life .
I wrote my diary at 10 30 only by keeping cong's future in mind though i was watching debates on impending visit of n.s with interest.
If this piece has in any way influenced the visit ,the new PM must overcome any temptation to use me clandestinely as was and is being done.
I am fed up with this extra ordinary life of a ordinary person and am rearing , thirsting and hoping to get back to my mundane ordinary oh so heavenly life of sloth and slumber, shopping and cleaning, going on pilgrimages, planning festival and ceremonies, reading good books, good articles and listening to music ,to sleep soundly without those glaring watch tower lights ,watch films on TV and net &comp-away away from all this unwanted attention
when ever i feel strongly about something or react to news i will automatically come on net and blog or tweet it but politicians must have it in them [if not 282 is laughable] not to tamper with my privacy or allow it to be invaded to either further their agendas or not pay heed to my constantly admonishing and requesting them to take note of and act suitably out of sheer indifference. If not if 44 is laughable and contemptible so is 282.
Yesterday as i relaxed for an afternoon nap after acclimatising to the heat wave sweeping in through the open widows to catch up on my sleep that was totally lost yesterday night with a malfunctioning ac or deliberately controlled to push in the warmer air from the outside coupled with the news that A.K has opted for jail against bail made me spare a thought about the condition tihar.[why should i think of a fellow i have stopped sparing a thought since his ignominious faring in ls polls?--this realisation comes today and have added it only today ---28.5.14 probably hypnotised that night]It must be unbearably hot in this mid summer when temperatures are reaching 40 c and above.
of course it is a drama with an eye on election hoping for sympathy at his incarceration[or now to come to think of it the deliberate attempts of secularists either to take away the pre eminent importance of new Pm's swearing in when all eyes ought to be on him and not on a pesky neighbour's coming and going or aman ki asha's genuine efforts or two on one ,who know my pshycology well, to react and write something suitable? hope i am not giving them to much credit to somehow secure N.sahriffs attendance in oath of new pm .but one never knows with these shady operators relying heavily on delusional liberalism--realised earlier but written on only today---28.5.14]So his condition didn't trouble me but it made my thoughts fly back to the days when my grand father spent years in jail in similar and worseconditions sweating it out for the sake freedom for this country in his quest to drive away the Britishers.
Earlier in morn read an art in net by rights whose pet peeve is Nehru's acts and views that made a hotch potch of Indian foreign policy,economy and his reluctance to admit to his Hindu brahmin heritage and over emphasis on appeasement in his concept of secularism.
Yes what they often rant is right but the fact is he also agitated for freedom against the British occupation and he also sacrificed his family[tho much.much smaller in comparison to my g.fathers],luxurious life and spent year shut up in poky jails and bearing it all like my gf ,by nursing the hope of freeing this ancient sacred land from the clutches of western men with a totally different mind set and culture and then chart a new developmental course for the country both he and my gf and so many others loved and cherished deep within their hearts.
Then i all of a sudden i felt a stab of regret and was quite moved to tears when i realised that in a ironic twist of fate the grand -dil- /g.g.son of that man who wanted British out used me the g.daughter of another man who was his contemporary and shoulder at arms as well to facilitate the entry of US an Western power to gain entry into India under the cover of that UN act that likes to 'sensitise' policemen handling sexual harassment cases .
To me security/law and order is a sovereign power of a country which must never be compromised.
And i the transistor g.daughter of that man who sacrificed everything to see to that the Britishers left our country unwittingly helped the g.dil[who unlike me knew of that deal secured for her personal freedom].of another too well known a person who struggled with similar aim to secure her release from US courts[this news i by luck saw as sticker running in only one news channel--news x ,this news hasn't come in any other news tv , net or papers that i read', a total black out] to allow that top most western power in the world like BR was in their heydays, say 70 years back to get a foot hold in India.
i didn't mind sg securing her release only that it should not have been through me employing shady tricks with that anti national bargain ,by which i feel that i let down the ordinary people of India many of whom who love and protect their wives, sisters and daughters and wouldn't want foreigner to do it for them
secondly it has also mocked at the e sacrifises made by our ancestors mine and rg's [apart from others] to cleanse this land of western domination .
I post poned writing this feeling of betrayal as i know that Cong is meeting after a terrible disaster in the elections though it was sg, rg, + libs who were subjecting to unwarranted torture for past 3 years to provide emotional evidence when all they needed was to ask me straight away to help ,if they were really banking upon me to know the pulse and perceptions of this nation instead of resorting to humiliating me and every one in my family as well as relatives .90 % of my family are for Cong, from Cong and vote for Cong.
so i concluded that it as nothing but arrogance of power and money and a different mind set unlike the Indian mind set and the tendency to look down upon such a mind set , culture. history and even religion that made them resort to this delusional control.
As i sat up in the terrace enjoying the cool sea breeze and watching mars that is slowly losing its size and brightness[no longer near earth i suppose] i debated with myself whether i should take the pleasure of rubbing the nose of rg to dirt when nearly most of his own party men were doing it and have my sweet revenge for past humiliations or hold on .Decided to hold on since at the end of the day he is the g.g.son of Nehru and for all the rights damnation , Nehru is a tall leader .further he was a colleague/brother at arms of my gf , though nehru may not have jelled with my gf's otrthodox views ,he accommodated him .my father was a great fan of nehru but our two-mine and rg's connection is through the freedom fighters.So decided not to write something or nothing at all which may damage his prospects when the entire lot is in such a low spirits and cause further dissent.So didn't.Felt free and spoke over the cell.[may be i was put under pressure to write what a section of cong --maybe the modern pro development group wanted and i fought it off as i didn't have the heart to kick a person who was shadowily a part of my life , our past linkage,who was at crest of power for past 3 years, when he was down and under whilst i did it fearlessly that is expressing my view point &critisims of some of his and his mothers policies[never attacked them personally ],when he was in a high]
Today after going through the net articles i grasped the angst of younger party members of cong and it is that which made me decide to write this .They are all talented , educated and capable young men wanting to serve the country.Just why shouldn't they be allowed to take over ? .
To hell with nehru's dynasty.It is no longer the original dynasty.Why shouldn't cong i knew once .,not make a comeback dislodging the westernised trio,who are seeing India from a typical western view point viz--lambads, tribals, sc's minorities , caste , ill liberals etc and are not in the least proud of the developments , modernisations that are taking place or of the institutions, many of which nehru himself laid the foundations
Hope the patriotic , modern educated and culturally conscious youngsters not ashamed of their Indian origin and background like scindia and others will not have their dreams and hopes crushed at the prospect of cong vanishing into dust with the continuation of a indifferent leadership that muddied the prospects further by tilting too too openly in favour of minorities just for votes and upsetting the majority centrist in the process without any tangible benefits for both or from both .The simple logic is if a Hindu leader like nehru hugged and kissed minorities it was seen as secular but if a minority leader like sg did it is seen as communal in a country populated by hindus,Frankly to survive she and rg ought to have been or appeared to be more hindu than a hindu..Doesn't imran an anglo pak bend himself to appear more muslim than a muslim?politics, keeping in touch with ground level realities..
Actually i have written all this in my blogs long long back and got punished every time i did ,but who can wake a man who is pretending to sleep?
since i have decided to let it out whether any thing happens or not this is my view,
The ghan family is not in sync with the aspirations and ordinary values of a vast majority f populace which is youthful and center rights not ashamed of being a hindu and are not aggressively hindu either.
They are not bothered about rights, this right , that right but something concrete --like money earned from a job and to spend it for a better standard of living .They do not find any thing wrong in various institutions only that there should be no corruption .
Finally i shed a few tear for the state of cong 2 year back itself .Actually am not bothered any more. But the boisterousness from my flat residents have vanished[prob all are cong] and there is a funeral like atmosphere in here as well as on tv with journos and anchors fuming in frustration and that has in a way made me write this.
If at all the grand old party has to survive and become inclusive and regain its meritocracy the white Moguls have to let go.
Definitely i have written this under nudging as other wise i wouldn't bother ,but it is my real view .I can be even more truthful but it would be too harsh on the g's and their educated minority fans and pseudo secularists and libs.
TV news at 12.30 pm N.Sharieff has accepted Modi's invitation and is visiting India at his oath taking ceremony.good news.
2.15.pm.
oh my god ! Is this still an international diary?Did N. sharif decide to visit after reading mt diary writing in the morn? .It is a good result no doubt.[i am guessing it is do with my genuine feeling of regret of letting down ordinary Indians by letting US in to do the policing]
But if it was due to my diary writing that is enabling foreign policy and diplomacy this may tempt the new M --modi and co to continue with this arrangement viz views of a ordinary citizen and i hope that modi and co are confident enough to chart their own foreign policy , tackling civil society etc on their own and not rely shadowily upon my life and writings.
This ordinary business has become so extra ordinary i past 2-3 years that my ordinary life has gone for a toss and i Am very keen on getting back as quickly as possible to my ordinary life .
I wrote my diary at 10 30 only by keeping cong's future in mind though i was watching debates on impending visit of n.s with interest.
If this piece has in any way influenced the visit ,the new PM must overcome any temptation to use me clandestinely as was and is being done.
I am fed up with this extra ordinary life of a ordinary person and am rearing , thirsting and hoping to get back to my mundane ordinary oh so heavenly life of sloth and slumber, shopping and cleaning, going on pilgrimages, planning festival and ceremonies, reading good books, good articles and listening to music ,to sleep soundly without those glaring watch tower lights ,watch films on TV and net &comp-away away from all this unwanted attention
when ever i feel strongly about something or react to news i will automatically come on net and blog or tweet it but politicians must have it in them [if not 282 is laughable] not to tamper with my privacy or allow it to be invaded to either further their agendas or not pay heed to my constantly admonishing and requesting them to take note of and act suitably out of sheer indifference. If not if 44 is laughable and contemptible so is 282.
posted by K.C. Sujata at
10:34 PM
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