Tingle in telengana tangle.

Electoral benefits were not reaped by the application of my written anecdotal narration by waiving the loans of weavers up there[UP] .What is the guarantee that it would do so now by supplanting this blatantly Hindu oracles verbal rants against sibling theorists with reg to Pak and letting Maoists run freely [ diatribe induced artificially in perfect stealth but with techniques altered after my exposure of people's cooker,so unable to figure it,except for the aroma bit and combat it  with the connivance of a seriesof mournful events ,so very handy to those skilled -kgb and co, in exploiting my misery to their  -ppts and co ,advantage that failed in the earlier attempt .to be precise on 26 th July but was spot on ,on the D day --30 .7.13 which could have persuaded the sceptics and the superstitious to snap up a decision and clinch the bifurcation deal hastened by the threat of the imminent arrival of the only combatant looming large--modi to the state soon] would do so now down here [AP]?

Further the undying obsession [attraction cum aversion  which = eccentricity of sorts] of the prince/princess [queen if you please] and some courtiers ,with the peculiarities[of which i am not ashamed of, like as if every one around is a saint,god knows how many skeletons will tumble out of each and every one's cupboards,whether one is a  ordinary or an extraordinary citizen if they were all examined constantly with a magnifying glass as is being done with me.so i refuse to be blackmailed by this moral policing .It is for those who are deriving constant  titillation from watching me covertly who have to be on guard for not getting obsessively addicted to it and me ]   of a pauperess [me --comparatively] has simply no parallels in history [only in fiction] is astonishing as well as queer , indigestible and exhausting.Why me ? out of 1.2 billions?

There is a sloka in Gita in the 10 th chapter describing the divine glories ,which is quite peculiar since it runs contrary to all that which is regarded as good and sublime qualities one normally associates with the supreme being --
Dyutam chalayatam asmi----36
meaning---'I am the dicing of the deceitful'.

Here is my take' Is it the fire's fault that moths are attracted to it'?

If this piece of writing after an virtually sleep less night after that rant last after noon  is the result of careful manipulation to show me as appallingly delusional to all those right wingers influenced by my writings ,then there is also an apt sloka once again from the Gita  from the same chapter justifying the deafening silence all around me with this regard

it is as folows ---Maunam caivasmi guhyam

meaning:  'I am the silence in the arts of secrecy '.

I suppose it is  Sri Krishna the supreme being who is also perceived in certain extraordinary deviance's and stealth as that sloka makes clear has the power as of now to untangle me from this sticky web.

It could also be two in one.

Who would have thought just a couple of years back that my very personal life would get so entangled in the public life of top politicians of this country? From being a mere onlooker i have been caught in the middle of the clash /tug of war of the titans[sg and co vs modi and co] and in the process am being squeezed dry .At times the pressure is so much that i simply want to crawl to safety under my cot and stay put there. .How can that be ? Life has to go on .Rama! One day or the other i 'll be freed /rescued from this ensnarement  ,till such time i have to look out for myself,so for the moment I'll indulge in retail therapy----a bout of shopping to regain myself and restore my tissues.
 
written on 31.7.13   8 am wednesday

Nationalism --a comment

This is comment on one part of an article in toi by aman ki asha romantic's wherein  the author refers to philosophers of past who have cautioned against nationalism and reiterates  that a galaxy of  fine minds have pointed out that the concept of nation hood never existed in India and it is precisely due to this broad mindedness[ extra ordinary] that all lived in peace and in harmony with one and all.

As i see it all the people in historical times lived in peace and in harmony not only due to the purity in their souls but also because their rulers were defending them ably against invaders and  who also added lands to enrich  their subjects, lives.
The philosophers he refers to could be the sadhu sanyasi's living in the Himalayas or wandering Sufi saints who had voluntarily relinquished materialism and family life in lieu of bare spiritualism.who would neither agonise over the safety of their home and property nor earn a living , or be out at work every day in a peaceful and safe environs which could only be ensured by a ruler aware of his domains boundaries and ever alert to intruders and invaders.
Nation's without borders are for those living[ a tiny lot ] in higher planes totally insensitive to the grinding drudgery and realities of life.
Nationalism which is  mainly defined by people living within well demarcated boundaries [that are well guarded] with ties to the land,  may be a bad word to such exalted beings floating in the space but it is a must for all those masses leading an ordinary unpretentious householder's life.

written on 28.7.13--10 am

Painful gain.

On this 10 th day of Sri Ramesh's[ bjp tn] ceremony[29.7.13] i have contributed for anna dhanam for poor and destitute woman living in a old age home in honour of  his memory ,of that of a cheerful political activist pursuing his ideological beliefs peacefully and democratically to be thwarted brutally and cowardly by means of violence by those opposing his beliefs,when recourse could be taken in similar democratic manner.

 At the pain of sounding callous and insensitive to the slain activists family it is to be mentioned here that  his ultimate sacrifice has however not gone in vain, 100's of full fledged activists following similar ideology need no longer look fearfully over their shoulders as the Tn state govt [according to news paper reports]  has assured all of them of police protection, forthwith.

The martyr hood of sri Ramesh has bestowed security to co political and social activists thus encouraging all shades of opinions, as it must, flourish in the polity instead of it being the monopoly of a few.

Sixth anniversary.

When i hear the sudden sweet notes of a koel dissolving my dilemmas,
And when i look up at the night sky and see a star smiling at me ,lifting up my crest fallen spirit,
I know that you are out there looking over me ,
You did leave ,but are still there for me as you usually did ,especially in my times of deep distress.
Thank you son.

Naganandi tree.

The leaves of the dome like naganandi tree had turned into a brilliant saffron .The tree which is famous for its highly fragrant flowers, rose pink in colour resembling the hood of a naga or serpent sheltering the tiny lingam within ,was shedding its leaves ,that had ripened from a pale green to the sacred saffron colour . The ground below was richly carpeted by layers upon layers of twirling, twisting and floating leaves shed by this very old tree at the park.
Today [15.7.13]  i could fully appreciate the sacredness attributed to this tree .The unique shape of the flowers set in the backdrop  of this astonishing and exquisite colouring of the ripened leaves that was suffusing me with its spiritual beauty ,and enabled me to fully grasp the reverence it has evoked amongst all down the ages, sages and common folks alike.

White washing.

After a lusty discussion by all the well known intellectuals the blue eyed boy of the scam fighting party came to the grand conclusion that though corruption of upa 2, as his network survey revealed ,is an issue ,had the governance been good enough like checking the price rise so as to keep it within reachable limits and if the economy was handled in a way that would bless every one with expendable income ,corruption on high places wouldn't have mattered  much to voters.

I deduce the following from the anchors take---

1. upa 2 is dogged by inept governance, that is the aged sardarji has failed , therefore corruption which is nothing but a part and parcel of political life ,was blown out of proportion .So the prime accused is the pm and co.
2. The visuals that were flashed on one half of the screen during this discussion where that of the worthies of coalition partners facing the music for helping themselves liberally to the goodies.so it was they and not the lily white members of the grand old party who have tarnished its reputation.

OK there is truth in this take but the following q's would have also risen in the mind of the voters which was brushed away,like--

If governance is the main issue then why wasn't a no nonsense tough person put on the helm instead of continuing with the pliant old guard?
.It  then follows and raises the suspicion that  the failure to do so could be deliberate since such  person  sticking to his no nonsense stand would be biting the hand that feeds it.

This is a clear case of 'thodu donga' a Telugu phrase meaning co thieves where in the liability is shared and absolution ,  none .

Strange.

It is strange that despite my joining BJP it is Congress and its sidekicks in msm's that are making use[negative and positive] of my gyaan in whatever form it maybe, from soft whispers to loud arguments and tirades which are strangely mostly political,so must be stealthily manipulated ,to jokes to tears.
The BJP is either---
1. Not smart enough to see through the games played under its nose or doesn't consider me to be smart enough  to be worthy of its attention or politically relevant to accord  protection ,
2.Or is simply too  too liberal in accommodating its liberal friends in its adversial party  in a pro rata basis,
3.Or doesn't trust me enough due to selective leaks and its own assessments and therefore couldn't care less even if it is affecting them politically on and of,
4.Or that it simply doesn't posses the will , power or where withal to stop this political torture
5.Or is it a classic example of cutting off the nose to spite the face? .

Greetings to the sun.

The gulmohar tree that was spreading out tall and wide had effectively eclipsed  the happenings in the wide blue broad sky visible beyond my window .Since its felling recently the space beyond became ,glaringly visible.
Today  early in the morning around 5 am i chanced to see the first rays of the sun ,that was yet to rise ,as a thin silver ribbon ,tying a thick curtain of slate blue clouds .Down below the street was deserted .Nothing stirred .Neither human nor animal.
To get a better view of this daily celestial event that goes mainly unnoticed by me and  others as well ,  living in concrete jungles,i went up to the terrace  get a better view .
The thin ribbon of silver slowly turned brick red and spread on the eastern sky staining it rapidly in translucent red, as it expanded , stirring some very indefinable primeval feelings and inexlicable awe .That of the transistory nature of all life and that which awaits all, beyond the invisible but tangible border that has to be crossed one day or the other.

Though nothing stirred in the street below, the sky was throbbing with the excitement peculiar only to life., that of the leisurely but powerful flapping of wings of eagles in companionable twosomes , coasting seemingly casually.
It amazed me that these birds of prey were the first to greet and salute the dawn breaking through the night.Poetry's always refer to koels or the beautiful swans as the first amongst the birds to greet the sun .On reflection it makes sense that eagles who rely on their keen eyesight to swoop and snatch their preys down much,much below ,ought and are up there first,to greet the light that will illumine and line their lives.Their dependence on the sun is verily much more than the other birds.

Have the ancients of this country observed this deep devotion and obvious gratitude to the eternal celestial brilliant orb by the eagles as i do now and felicitated it with according it the sacred honour of being the vehicle of Vishnu--sarveswara   ?

Then came the parrots screeching in ecstasy with the sheer joy of living after a night of peaceful slumber .Their round green faces smiling in contentment ,deepening the natural rosy rouge of their beaks.

By now the slate blue clouds were licked by tongues of orange flames as the sun rose as a huge disc like a distant delicious cotton candy attractive and inviting one to savour its flavour and disappeared soon behind clouds that blushed in pleasing pink.

The presence of the sun in all its splendour triggered the whirling of a huge flock of pigeons that waltzed gracefully  first in clock wise circles and next in anti clock wise direction in a frenetic pace ,till such time, few minutes thence, becoming utterly exhausted as to make them drop down to their perches .A raven from a wall cawed and a koel sang from a tree top signalling  the end  of the ritual put up by the only life forms in this earth --birds that greet the dawn and rising sun with uninhibited joy and unparalleled gratitude.

Driving seat.

I suppose that when i am in the verge of popping of to sleep --the intermediary period between wakefulness and sleep,at night  when i retire to bed or after midnight after a trip to the bathroom [loo] or in the short mid afternoon naps ,articles,views blogs and even comments are fed into my subconscious by pale face/KGB and co  .It triggers off my fierce verbal battles  centering around a keyword that sinks deep in and unsettles me along with of course a liberal dose of the vapours and salts and electronic waves that make one loquacious and giggly with the accompaniment of high decibel noise which could be from TV like boisterous comedy dialogues from Tamil films or the orchestration of  extremely loud noises of adolescents playing cricket down below [though playing is banned by the association] or artificially fanned emotional encounters with needling [manipulated and manufactured with usual stealth] relatives.An allergy to even every day humdrum noises that didnt bother me for the past 10 years i have stayed here,which i have developed after the very prolonged shady inquisition conducted by bombarding me with mind blowing stereophonic sounds day and night and keping the entire neighbourhood--noisy flats cum noisier slum dwellers, remarkably quiet.

An recent word that was fed in and that which unsettled me was 'jealousy' that made me harangue mister non stop for an hour for not taking seriously the evidence less harassment meted out to me by our neighbours and their groups  because he was jealous of  pale face's educational qualifications since if he is really the cbi he must be quite highly educated since they are considered at par  with the outputs of iit's and iim's and that he couldn't stomach the fact  that such a highly educated and knowledgeable  person could be set on an  un important me nor accept my knowledge,an nature similar to many a  lowly educated  politicians who either  do not understand or are envious of  the ias and others on whom they lord over.

Next day  the govt announces a bonanza for Sonia Gandhi's constituency ,setting up of institutions for higher education and so on ! A link?Maybe.My recent outbursts that to after joining the BJP are simply too numerous and too frequent, unlike my normal taciturn and diplomatic self.

Pale face and co are hard at work redoubling and quickening the pace at a frightening speed and ruthlessness.sub serving knowledge to whims and fancies of anxious,vision less,not very well educated but very envious persons who are at the driving seat.

These sudden outbursts also visits the otherwise very cool and sedate family members too ,very often these days and i detect a lot of links that could be real or faked to make me appear delusional -- if fake  then for whose benefit?The verbal barrage is characterised by a torrent of unstoppable counter views to mine or an news item on TV at a camouflaged trigger from the immensely influenced brain.Most of which a moment later is forgotten .The interrogation has not ended It is more or less a biweekly affair and is  a ongoing subtle and stealthy process of which only i had been made to be aware of  that which must have been earlier than i imagined.

One has to be very very tough to withstand this sort of remorseless onslaught on the psyche and those who do must be totally unpalatable to the so called' liberals.'However what is the guarantee that there are no such palefaces amongst the posse guarding 'netas'  day and night specially those who are seen as straying from the beaten track due to ideology or mental imbalances and problems or sheer inertia and reluctance ?The stakes for those politically active are much higher than an  mere blogger like me.
In Hollywood films when a police man arrests a criminal  he would mouth these words---What ever you talk will be used against you and you have the right to be silent.

This is precisely what is happening to me that is what ever i say is being used  but  without the warning  or the fear of detection of using illegal means to make me and others talk and talk.The difference is that all my talking and writings are within the avowedly privacy of my house and not in a lock up or a cell.Is it a moral or rather immoral equivalence to Binayak sen's alleged mistreatment ? God only knows what runs in convoluted mind. Narayana save  this country from such loonies.

?    .

Visit to vihar

The sting in my writings is yet to lose its prickiness!

Two in one.

Are the series of explosions at a' secular' pilgrim spot a classic example or proof of the right hand either being oblivious or obviously blind to what its left hand is upto?

Note since my la bel is not coming or not allowed in the manner in which i want i am reproducing it in the blog itself,

Politics, teleconfrence, secularism's fabric--the pattern, portending dismal future,innovative devices --minimum damage and maximum mileage,groups, empty vihar/ temple, dirtying neighbours,solidarity, innocent bikshu's sacrifice, bloody bloody perverts and killers.

Method in madness.Excerpts from my diary -29.6.13 and 30 .6.13

When ever pappu starts sporting his beard and looks grubby it portends  a fresh round  of emotional outbursts for me , of course induced stealthily by pale face and co with their bagful of tricks .The reasons could be either of the following--

1. Pappu has to take some decisions that should be earth shaking and a fitting reply to the other contender and pappu has blanked out and needs an uncontaminated view and direction that is taken as the true signal as it is said or written in the height of my emotional outlets.[the strong belief of politicians in anecdotal evidences to steer them through the gamble]
or
2. Pappu or some tricky ruling party men  have already decided but would like me to believe that it was the result of my emotional outbursts.A ruse to make me feel important and make me quit opposition party  and join the ruling party so that the following may be achieved.
1. To score one up on bjp[.I don't think either of the parties are much bothered about me  owing  to my lack of electoral appeal. ]
2. To curtail my natural tendency to write about ancient history purely from a academic point of view  --read Hindutva to jaundiced eyes and defang me and bring me back to the fold --the saccharine sweet secularism and liberalism.

As for me according to sane , practical ,as well as intellectual and intelligent persons i am a split personality.May be on the surface .I can several view points .But deep within  my  core beliefs are that of a conservative Hindu ,in essence and politically with many of those principles that bjp stands for.So back to square one .After bramha prayathanam ie constant brain washing by all those around i am still the same.

If being Liberal means that  it is the accepted norm to read the personal diary and notes of another or overhear conversations of another in their houses and make political and economic capitol out of it i am glad that i am not one.If being illiberal that is who does not snoop , or tat a tale or loot another or mask the religious identity and wish away the glorious Hindu past means being a 'conservative' and 'unfit for the genteel society' ,the label  suits me just  fine.-----------29.6.13.

The following events played out from which suitable conclusions can be drawn.

The pattern played on the streets of my usual beat was a spate of women breezing by on scooters. Naturally the courtesy of pale face . After that i suffered persistent headache which i have been suffering uncharacteristically intermittently of late   and  aches and nagging pain in y limbs and general fatigue which no amount of drinking tea ,to clear away the tight feeling in my forehead or popping of analgesics  relieve  , for one whole day.Yoga did help a bit but generally it was a hellish day with constant indecipherable  messaging to my brain .It left only at late at night and that to all of a sudden!The coin fell when i saw my long time Hindu neighbour's son looked up at me with  a strange look as he drove away whilst i stood on the balcony for fresh air.Shocking ! Yes an youth  well known roped in to do the dirty works on a person as old as his mother!A family with which we all nicely got along!I shudder to think the impact of this would have on my son as when he gets to know the truth ,with all  the dirty sordid details.As for pale face he was a stranger till all this happened but not the other player and players.

The next day the papers had the news that the cabinet re shuffle was a damp squib bereft of the much looked  forward to  novelty .to revive the animal spirits and set it prancing towards the goal post !.How could a 85 year old inductee perform this Utopian task ?Well that is that parties business now let me come to mine.

This time  when pappu once again sported the Deva das look [grubby beard] my defences were down since i was totally absorbed in the interesting pieces of information of my son's North Indian tour to 'secular'pilgrim spots and  places--naturally to save him from his rabidly Hindu there fore highly communal mother , by those pulling the strings.The hand reaches the remotest corner of this land whether one likes it or not.The trip that coincided with the clean shaven new born baby face  looks of pappu during the great deluge and after.The trip that was forced upon in the usual underhand way since he is or is made to twiddle his thumbs after clinching a job in the campus interview at his mba college whilst others who had, are all at work drawing their  subsatntial salaries, as he waits impatiently for the call that is taking a lot of time ,uncharecteristic of such a prestigious company,{naturally i detect the hand's deviousness[petty politics to hurt and to show case its reach]   in this handout} in coming..

I knew something was in the offing when my late younger brother and father kept popping out of my sub conscious.in the few moments of deep relaxation [ the commie pale face was at his element] i either snatched or was pushed into on 28.6.13 at noon , just before the arrival of my son in the evening.

After a long and tiring walk and meditating in a unusually quiet Ttd temple and accosted by the sound of traffic and fireworks at a marriage and a nice conversation which i have referred to earlier with the return of the voyager ,fell like a log of wood , having woken up again uncharacteristically at 5 am in this very long and exhausting day.Only to wake up late next day and pick up a fight with hub centering around the bee that was made to buzz within me that of 'woman'.The messaging i am sure that a cynical but determined socialist group of the ruling party ,resurrected after along period of marginalisation and attendant disillusionment was kindling me to talk or write about for the past two weeks.

And i did this time !If pale face is CBI , what a shame! He has received elite training owing to taxpayers money but is deployed to do dirty jobs thus demeaning the the respect that the premier institute commands amongst the public and reducing it to a laughing stock,by corrupt, manipulative and unscrupulous politico's ,who after looting the material resources of its citizens are looking to loot the mental resources as well.

The reason the group that wanted me to talk about status of woman could be the following---

1. To influence lethargic pappu and make him act.since he likes a mirror to be held from the likes of me --a la neo kalavathi.If i am being manipulated to mouth what he or his mom wants to hear , by the dirty managers preying on his fear of Modi  and Hindu terror , is he that naive?And does he actually believe that what i , who was ruthlessly programmed to talk about it for two whole weeks  without a break[whilst he was happily vacationing] ,that came out as a emotional out burst [specifically induced] was actually the truth said at the spur of the moment? if soNarayana please save this country from this dud.

2.  Or another chilling and  quite plausible explanation could be that pappu and co  are using me in cold blooded ruthless manner with well thought out pre meditated planning as a tool to bring around the superstitious and traditional within to toe his line of thinking? Remorseless mania.
Exploiting a woman [after all i am a sub standard , low class ,superstitious Hindu woman so does it matter?That to belonging to the much despised Brahman caste.]on one hand to be regarded as the saviour of others.A collateral damage?
Betraying the fiduciary trust reposed by party men by deceitful means instead of winning them over?

The conscience less application of the maxim 'ends justifies means as advocated in Prince  by Machiavelli as against the values of  original Ghandhi ,verily by those who profess to follow in his foot steps!----The archetypal of the  politicians potrayed in Bollywood.

This refers to the 50 % reservation for women in the ruling party announced yesterday by its VP after my early morning altercations centring around my being a woman , a mother yet considered as 'half and half'  and with intention to hurt that he was just like pale face[ he figures a lot in our conversation ,naturally with repeated suggestions from above] who was  effiminate and therfore doesnot over awe me or command my respect the way a macho man like modi would.

 Lessons learnt:

1.Though public good is resulting from my anger it is artificially induced by indecent , inhuman and totally abhorrent means I must build up my defenses.

2.Never mention Modi in my conversations or writings just before any important happenings in the ruling party's camp.----------30.6.13

ps my yatras have been succesfully curtailed for the past few months thus denying me the oppurtunity to inject ancient histiry my pet subject and the source of allergy to politico's ,into my writings.