see be aye .....look know nod

No politician worth his salt would let go of the leash of CBI or other intelligence agencies .What for did he spend crores of rupees in elections,for? Barring few notables most are in the business of reaping rich profits from their initial capital out lay ,as swiftly as possible in their short and shaky tenure.Hence the plea of team Anna to detach CBI from the govt's hem line is like asking for the moon ! They must be clean out of their minds and joking! They are even more naive than i am!This is an totally impractical and absolutely idealistic demand to make a head way in the long and onerous fight against corruption,[materiel and power] in our system would be the thinking of all those wise ,experienced people who have seen it all.

Yet granting autonomy to it appears to be one of the most likely solution to this garagantuan problem .If the baby steps are taken now it could over a period of time ,maybe even spanning several decades could ultimately cleanse the system.Politics would no longer than be a lucrative and stupendously high paying career, the quickest means to get rich and concentration of all powers either derived from the constitution or of from ownself ,in the hands of a select few but as a career reserved only for all those who are fair minded, equitable and truly imbued with the spirit of service to this nation , and who never falter in putting nation first above self.


Note : This is not to say that there are no political leaders who put the interests of the nation above self and petty politics but only that the numbers , have to increase.

Nice.

Learnt from dailies that a tidy sum is being set aside by the State govt to renovate heritage buildings and ancient temples and restore them to their former glory.A truly welcome gesture.

Out of the many divya desam temples i visited in Tamilnadu ,the Appala Ranganathar koil at koiladi near Trichy, the Adhi kesava koil atThiruvattaru in Nagerkoil ,the sculptures at Viakunthanathar koil and the sanctum of Sri Vardharajar perumal koil at Kancheepuram require immediate and expert attention.

Further that sufficient funds will be allocated to educate needy children and to encourage sporting activities in rural areas is another welcome gesture.

To Aravind.

Poruthadhu porum ponghi yezhu....

The sense of fair play and magnanimity shown to an adversary is often sadly mistaken for weakness in the times we live in .

A thought for the day...Playing with fire.

Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat......Harry Emerson.

I lifted this from my 1997 diary.

A sloka from Sri Desikans Abeedhis tvam

'O' lord i have spent all my youth by drinking in the nectarine scriptures of Sri Ramanuja.

Now my hair has turned white .Hereafter all that i need is a place to reside peacefully either at Sri Rangam or any other place where people are not inimical but are pleasant and helpful to one another!

**28.Yadhiparvar bharathi rasabharane needham vaya parfulla palitham shira :paramiha kshama prarthaye!
Nirastha ripusambhave kavachana rangamukhya vibho!
Paraspara hithaishino parisreshu mamvarthayo!

There are 29 slokas in all compiled by Sri Desikan that when chanted and meditated upon guarentees to drive away 'bheedhi'-- fear.

Just thinking.

'Facts are stranger than fiction' is a well known saying.

There is an Tamil saying ---'marrundavan kangalikku irundathelam pei!'

meaning.To one whose eyes are clouded with fear anything that darkens is a devil or ghost !

The former saying aptly applies to me and the latter saying applies equally aptly to my detractors.

I am not quitting.

What is surprising as well as sickening is that all the members of this community around me ,the well to do middle class [holding even govt jobs] as well as the lower class have all highly networked ,glued and banded together to stare and jeer at me ,a subtle form of intimidation and diversionary tactics with a view to stop me from blogging and to drive me away from this locality.Eerily reminiscent of the plight and flight of Pandits .

Though i am not particularly attached or fond of this area nor am i addicted to the Net,the very fact that i am being hounded and indelicately coerced to flee is making me want to stick on, come what may.

I think all this new found hostility is due to my recent visit to Dwaraka on the 10 th anniversary of the Gujarat riots.It was purely co incidental. I got to know of the significance of the date only on my return ,on seeing the TV news.I know about the riots but do not keep tabs on dates and anniversaries.I am not the media or a politician to be ever alert to dates and anniverseries

Am i Sri Modi's long lost friend or were we separated at birth and are comrades at arms that i have to be in receiving end of this filthy and cheap ,low down treatment here in Chennai[ a city and state that has no history of communal disharmony in living memory,] from a community that seems to fear and hate him?

I have gotten over my initial shock and am getting quite used and acclimatised to the sarva darshan of me by my fans [hostile] and the convoy of vehicles and the on the spot jogging and acrobatics on my ceiling and the piped music.

I am not quitting.I am here to stay. Learn to live with me around ,folks.

photos of Chakravuha

My constant companion.


My balcony .
Neighbouring flat.
Parking slot of us and those above us.

Neighbours of upper reaches.
Right on top.
The light on the vimanum of temple near the AC..
From my bedroom window.


My shadow in jeans.
Flashy cars not at my service only to make me nervous.


Flash lights winking at me on the roof from that ghastly cream multi storeyed building to disturb my yogic meditation on the steps.

Blinding lights of the temple's vimanum that strike my eyes when i come out to catch the wind.
Blinding lights into my bedroom.

Twin attacks .
Ominious looking night watch near the balcony.

Change of guard at night below my window


The watch continues.

Double trouble.

Thorn

A thorn is a thorn by whatever name it is called[needles, quills etc].It is by nature prickly.It will tear the purdah thrown over it.

Even the majestic tiger ,the lord of the jungle does not court the lowly tiny porcupine but avoids it.

Ironies.

My annual income is below taxable limit but crores of rupees are being spent on me!

There are AC cars of every shape and size strategically placed around my house all ostensibly [covertly]at my disposal but i have to walk in the blistering heat to catch an auto and haggle with driver to arrive at a less atrocious fare ,to take me to the nearby market for my shopping!

I don't own a car or have an electorate [unelectable] but have a fleet of cars following and escorting me!Hey Ram!What a vulgar display of money and crowd power .

I am past 50 and quite portly yet young studs in motor bikes with back packs find me interesting enough to follow and zip fast and eye me through the rear mirror!Should i be flattered? Ramachandra! Grahacharam!

I don't even have a maid servant but i am an entrepreneur of sorts.I am providing indirect employment to a huge crowd of people viz-- censors, soft ware engineers, manufacturers 'of sophisticated spying equipments, detectives, car drivers,and managers of project'Sujataism ',a panel of pshycologists and many more ancillary and incidental services.That auto owner a young man from the opposite tenements has a particularily a cushy job.He has only to park his auto under my windows and then relax in his house ,whilst money pours into his pocket with little or no effort at all!

When i am in a age and stage of life that it holds no more fascinations and have become quite sluggish, is it the repeated prayers and curses of my invisible employees for their job security and hassles connected with this job that is keeping me alive and alert?

Do me a favour .Just walk in and tell me what is in your mind or leave a comment.Let us talk it over .I'll even type my daily itinerary in my blog so that i need not be tagged either out of suspicion or simply to be bullied .Use the money thus saved in educating poor children and in encouraging sporting activities.Spending crores of money on an individual in a country that is still poor is a sheer waste of scant resources.

PS. If my views on life and on our country and posts on Hinduism are so repugnant why not block me off straight away or bundle me off to Andaman and drop me right into the middle of Jarawah territory and shut the gates of those[ offending] highways and throw the keys away ?.

PPs.An ominious looking van has replaced the auto below.i rather prefer the auto of the cheerful youth.He has a family.

Photo of The full moon in chitrai ---May 6th

The scales have come down.

Like i said before there are two sides to truth.One that it is bitter and the other that it is funny.

I always regarded my neighbors a diverse group on a even keel.As decent hardworking middle class people involved primarily in giving their children a better deal.I particularly admired my Muslim women neighbours, all in my age group, since every one of them work as lectures and teachers and also successfully manage their houses.Their sons the age of mine had even started to work in the same office.

Now the scales have come down.It is bitter for me to swallow that the neighbours i viewed in the same manner as all others in my complex should feel no compunction to spy on me due to religions inherited at birth!

Shame on those who have sown such deep discords that make ordinary people to stoop to such levels.Or is the suspicion so deeply ingrained that it requires but a gentle prod by those who are waiting to cash on it ,to blow it up?How can you meet my eyes in the landing madame?

What none of those hate filled posts after posts of Hindu fanatics could nt achieve these despicable actions of placing religion and politics over good neighbourliness and humanity has achieved in single stroke.

The seeds of suspicions that i had often scorned at when they were often given voice to in my circles against other religionists all these years, has been successfully sown.

Distrust and division has raised its ugly head .For the first time in my 54 years of life i find the urgent need to bond more closely with my own community and to be only with my community.

Congrats to the one who has nearly achieved this feat that was next to impossible in my dictionary!A feather in your in your cap!This karya karta richly deserves to be on top in the roll of honour of terrorist outfits that are out to disrupt communal harmony.

Why don't i confront straight away?The cloak and dagger aspect of this entire continuing saga makes the real seem unreal.So with what can i confront?

The funny part is [ it helps me deal better with this extraordinary situation i find myself in with a bit of humour] am i an endangered species like a tiger or lion that i need to be radio collared ,with spy cameras and bugs god knows actually the spy knows where they are littered in my house?
Whilst i am mixing the ingredients for sambhar in my kitchen i am suspected of actually mixing chemicals for a bomb?
That whilst i talk to my brother over the phone i am actively plotting to over throw the
govt in a midnight coup?
That whilst i have my daily quotas of arguments with my retired husband a regular routine of our long married life, who often irks me by getting into my way in this small apartment especially after the tragedy that befell us ,that i am instigating people to riot?

That when i shop for sarees and petticoats i am actually ducking behind reams of clothes [an impossible feat with my bad knee] to hand over messages to my mythical group of terrorists?

That whilst i am rummaging through books in the lending library i am actually sending coded signals to my cohorts?

That when i draw money from the ATM to buy groceries i am actually indulging in hawala transanctions?

That when i visit a kindly old woman's charitable trust to donate the annual fees of a poor girl student a sum of RS 2000\whom i am actually sponsoring from my very modest means that i am actually paying a hefty hafta for some shady procurements and armaments?

That when i am on a pilgrimage i am actually scouting the area to launch attacks on innocents?

That when i buy 2 mozham malli --jasmine- from the corner flower seller to adorn the portrait of Sri Rama i am actually ordering a wreath for my intended victims?

That my posts on Hinduism and enlivening my travelogues with a dash of politics is actually done with an eye on 2014 elections to bring BJP to power and be rewarded with scraps and loaves of offices tossed at me for the unpaid and unasked for services rendered which i would grab greedily?

That i am giving such lengthy explanations so that the supreme ruler f this realm would overlook my intransigence and redeem my sinful soul with utmost compassion?

That i am actually putting up a brave face at this well co-ordinated underhand cowardly tactics to break my nerves though i am a wreck?

Shame on you each and every one of you who harbour such dirty,putrid,perverted and vile thoughts about me.

Some one out there is terribly paranoid.

Amma to the rescue.Thankyou Amma.

My son's friend a crack software engineer as top notch as my late son in IT field called me delusional when i appealed to him to sort out my suspicions of my blog being hacked ,few years back.Was he trying to save his own skin?

Why blame him when my own son ,the younger one also a soft ware engineer ,the irony of this entire blogging episode of my life is that though it revolves around soft ware engineers ,a huge crowd of them but not one has come forward to help me out of this miserable tangle , though my angle is legal i am not that dumb ,not to understand incursions .Yes my second son refuses to believe this hacking and of the even more serious outcome of my blogging that of being spied upon , cars with tinted windows,autos and vans are permanently parked under my window and balcony and brilliant flood lights ostensibly to light up the nearby temple are focused at my window and balcony,a total breach of my privacy.

Can neighbours turn against neighbours because they belong to another religion?Is their fear and ignorance being preyed upon by politicians to such an extent that they do not hesitate to pry into a middle aged woman's movements in her apartments whilst they cover their women from head to toe?We are not low class illiterate people but educated middle class, to resort to such filthy practises.Am i being foolish and naive to expect every educated [degree holders] to be as knowledgeable and broad minded as an scholarly and ascetic Sri Abdul kalam or Sayyid Naqvi even M.J Akbar?I would have also added Salman rushdies name to this list of people with well ventillated minds after seeing his interview on TV but the very mention of his name is sufficient to make some of my country men to break out in allergic rashes hence i have not added him

Can a youth invade another woman's privacy in her bedroom and bathroom with subterfuge actions like thumping and banging on the ceiling on one who is as old as his mother?This bullying has increased with alarming frequency after my recent visit to Dwaraka--Gujarat.

I want this distrust to go.

Nobody , i mean even my immediate family is willing to believe or 'do not want to believe' that i have been trapped in a situation reserved for extremists and terrorists!A tragic comedy.Apart from honouring my late son's request to blog i also wanted to bring to book the docs who destroyed my son's life and to vent my ire over the unfeeling and callousness of my in laws but in the process somehow became a bone of contention between two political parties and even more dangerous between two communities!

It is fantastic, unbelievable that a house wife with no connection to any ideologies extreme or otherwise like the RSS [i think the fear is not of me but of my unintentional encouragement by my posts on Hinduism, of Hindu Rashtra though i am the grand daughter of a freedom fighter who drafted our constitution and would neverv dream of abrogating it]should be considered a threat?Who is funding this costly operation? A middle class person cannot afford a fleet of cars even on hire on daily basis.Taxpayers money?Media houses?Foreign funding?Scam tainted money?Or Under world dons?

Like Vidat's friend said i appear delusional and as my son says it is incredible, idealistic and unbelievable.One person who would have believed me and taken suitable action is Vidat. The paradox is that if he was around i wouldn't be in the net.

With no one except my heart and daily observations and may be some of those who follow my posts and are in know of things,to believe my real predicament, i poured out my helplessness to my grand father in Vaikuntam and lo behold like how Sri Krishna came to the rescue of a distraught Draupadi, Amma [ this is what my heart says so] poured in top police officers into our sordid and notorious street and conducted a contact programme with people specially women ,last evening[5th may Saturday] for full 3 hours!

This could be due to the recent murder that took place and could also be two in one
.
I am touched and thankful beyond words at this gesture that seems to say 'I understand , you are not alone, I am there,do not worry'.

Thank you Amma.

A letter to my grandfather in Vaikuntum.

Dear Thatha,
Why did you sacrifice your youth for this country?Why couldn't you not have continued with your lucrative law practise and thus not subject yourself , your wife and children to untold miseries , hardships and poverty,of your son's surgeries to be performed at home itself, of your daughters to deliver babies at home ,bearing the pain and losing several of their gains?

What made you to burn foreign garments paying heed to Ghandhiji's call , join the Congress and rally people around with your fiery , patriotic speeches against the alien rule that incarcerated you in jail for years together?

With your brilliance you could have amassed wealth that would have lasted for 7 generations .But look what you did instead,you chose to struggle and fight for freedom from foreign yoke ,individual liberties, and so on forgoing an enticingly comfortable life of wealth and ease that has only eased the way for totally unconnected and uncaring persons to amass wealth and power and not me your direct descendant.

The fruits of your sacrifice more so that of your pathetically patient wife and your children who bore the misery of the sudden slide into poverty in their youth has been snatched away by people who didn't shed a drop of sweat and in a strange twist of events and would i say that history is repeating itself ,are in power and are as alien as those against whom you agitated and courted arrests after arrests are now putting your grand daughter under constant surveillance, applying pshycological warfare and arresting her in her own house?

In your life time and for several decades there after your satvic influence smoothened many a wretch's wrinkles.You even used your good offices at the centre to bring back a bhai hailing from chitoor ,who had joyfully migrated to our neighbouring country in the Western side soon after the partition but who couldn't adjust with prevailing culture and language there and appealed to you to bring him back to this soil where his ancestors were born and had toiled long!

In the present set up ,dear thatha,tragically the very fact that i am your grand daughter , though i am not half as seeped in Hindu traditions and belief's as you were ,nay not even a quarter is like a mill stone around my neck!

Finally dear Thatha when you look down from your portrait adorning the parliament at all those worthies who are using the power and wealth that you sacrificed your health, wealth and comforts for, on your pet grand daughter to try and break and wear her down for being what she is ,do tears trickle down your eyes or is there a glint in those blue eyes ,that says my blood runs in her veins too?