Induced headaches .

I sat for more than two hours  in the morning of 28.7.16 writing down my opinion and observation on two topics where as normally i would have gone off for a walk.So what made me do this?
Yesterday whilst returning from Tiruvallur after my annual trip to the Perumal[vishnu] temple on a cab i felt a terrific headache all of a sudden .i shifted my place in the back seat where i was sitting .the headache didn't leave.Knew that headache was being caused by micro waves.Wondered as to wo amongst the vehicles in the thick traffic was beaming  it.Head ache made me very uncomfortable .Wanted to dislodge it .Observed that as i  shifted from my left to centre and right i could see either my hub's face or the young and dark drivers face in the rear mirrors and headache persisted .When i went completely behind the driver and couldn't see his face or my hubs in the mirrors my headache vanished .I stuck to that spot and was free of headaches .
I was wondering why was i made to shift away from reflection of both my hub and driver and who was doing it?Would that reflection be used by somebody else in the traffic or on road side in  some sort of casing work?An untrained brain lacking information on such subjects can think only this much and not more .As we neared our locality saw a van written with these words -'Ministry of defence' Govt of India pass us by as if as a answere to my question earlier--who is giving me headaches ?.It had two long aerials and i thought are those to track and control me?The van full of men then went behind our car and kept following .till our cab turned into our street.

Did they do it?Why? What have i got myself into?  Am i a terrorist or rioteer or a naxalite or separatist that the defence  needed to control me?Real crazy! Or was it just  a ploy to make me find links and write this and that?
ok back to writing The two articles i wrote were in the back of my mind for quite some time.The one about Brahmins [i will blog it later] came in forefront in my last trip in my recent trip to Bangalore after a night of similar headaches , headaches that were even more acute.I didnot write it down as i wanted to avoid getting too embroiled in religion , caste and so on.The other one was my view on Anti conversion bill the lay out to this article was in back of my mind for quite some time but did not reduce it in writing But today [28.7.16.] i wrote both the articles.Why?Did the headache viz mind altering signals trigger this unstoppable writing?Ofcourse ,it is only a trigger to write where as the views and observations are my own.But why should it be triggered in the first place?And why should Defence be involved in it?, if the micro wave radiation was beamed at me from ministry of defence vehicle?
If i blog my views on the need for anti conversion bill it may help the ruling party in the helm as i would be giving first hand information on conversion of person belonging to a hindu community to other communities.
But a niggling suspicion exists that prevents me from publishing it .The suspicion that may be the centre facilitated by them by making me discharge a lot of fluids the  whole of September 2014 thus weakening and exhausting me and making it easy for conversion .I read in the net that menopaused women were made to bleed by US defence so as to stop that  group of women activists from thier agitation.A similar thing happened to me in september except that thick white fluid and not blood was squeezed out of me.
I pondered over the conversion attempts on me in September 2014.some one was literrally talking to me as i relaxed in kids room during noon siesta for several days or when i meditated dangling enticements to change to Christianity  on one hand and threatening me with death if i didnt When i decided death is better option the persuasions stopped .The other religion had no such nicety .one day a terrific loud voice shouted thier gods name into my mind or brain or forehead and gave no other option
ok i read in net that thoughts can be read with gadjets as jaws move when one is thinking.So my thoughts can be read.But how was i having this conversation in my mind with some one?How is it possible to do so?Again information on net which i read only in 2016 explains this .That words or commands  can be sent into one's brain with help of micro wave signals using special gadjets and that defence personnel do it on p.o.w.s and even convince them to become human bombs!
I have been given headaches even before 2014 , specially in temples when i meditate.Temples of neighbouring state Karnataka in 2013 or visions as i meditated in -Andra pradesh Tirumala in 2012.But all this started only after 2012 May.
As long as i have this doubt , this suspicion that defence /centre was involved or facilitated conversion, how can i publish my views on anti conversion bill?It would be a masochistic[i am not getting the exact word for the opposite of sadism viz total self effacement]thing to do.It would be allowing the persons who created a situation to take advantage of it .If i was sure that only the state i reside in was  involved as i am very sure that no individual can posses such techniques of control,i would have published that article in my blog.

I did hear [ i am writing hear because then i didnt know that commands could be flitted across the forehead] these  commands before 2014 also but after 2012.it was mainly to express my views on society.
So mind altering signals are being sent to me on and off.Now the question is who is doing it?Ordinary people cannot have such  brutally sophisticated techniques and aids .Hence it can be either the defence forces or police or both!
Case for police involvment --
1.When i had a show down with my boisterous  neighbours  soon after 2014Genaral elections as i knew[from observation] they were involved in extracting my views that neighbour hinted that conversion was in the cards and he tested my beliefs and he and his wife were highly releived that my beliefs were basically and firmly hindu.So the neighbours with' christian links 'were not in the least in favour of oncoming conversion , though they may have done other things to me.

He pointed to his wife and said she has both good and bad i see only good in her ,why don't you also do the same on people you write about?At that time i had not blogged my frustrations at both state and centre leadership in not stopping this encroachment on my property and life and had only written it in my diary and didn't publish it .
since he pointed to his wife i assume it is a woman he is reffering to therefore the woman leader of this state.
2.Saw policemen  thunder down in bullets from B block of my apartments in September 2014 when the squeezing of liquids from me was in full swing coupled with conversion commands .

If this was the handiwork of TN police are they kaval durai or kadal durai or converter durai?
Again what is the purpose?To lose either the halo or sting in my writings?

Jesudas is a publicly known as a Christian but his bhakthi songs on hindu deities are heard by all hindus and enjoyed.Though i keep blogging  about  the conversion attempts on me it is my translation of slokas and pasurams that is receiving maximum audience.None of my viewers or fans from US or India of my translations of Hindu slokas have stopped patronising me in revulsion though i have divulged frankly even the most intimate details of my no touch torture.

If it is Tamil nadu police doing , they have simply bismerched their good reputation by indulging in such base activities unconnected with thier duties.

Case for defence involvment
1. Kept seeing huge military trucks driving down busy roads in here at Chennai and my attention was deliberately directed towards them from July 2014 onwards .
2.Then they disappeared from view to be replaced by cars or vans  with army written on it drive by side of our cab or go at front of it specially in my temple visits in this state or in neighbouring states.Again my attention was deliberetly drawn to it.
3.Recently that is on 27 th on my return from Tiruvallur temple saw this van marked ministry of defence with those two threatening aerials  follow me after suffering a bout of head aches in the cab we were travelling.
Again why?Defence or army is not like police.They can kill if need be or brain wash without any compunction for the sake of the country.

I have the highest regard for them and the sacrifices they make for us all and hate to nasty them thus in  my blog.

Yet i have to for my own sake.

So why are they into my life and that to in this stupid ,foolish conversion attempts and drama?Is it to expose my supposedly lack of inner convictions regarding my religious beliefs and make me look like a hypocrite, weakling who would desert her religion ,the blogger on Hinduism if pressurised?Was it in retaliation for bad mouthing the leader at the helm ,rather writing down[ did not publish this either] my frustration of  not being freed from this trap i was put into since 2012 ,having pinned my hopes on this new  leader's accession to power ?

Denial of which right troubles me most?

1.Shackles on my freedom of expression by constant censoring?
2.shackles on my freedom to enjoy my property viz house absolutely due to constant intrusions in guise of monitering ?
3.shackles on my freedom to pursue my religion and worship my deity without ant obstacle or hindrance?
Regarding the first --Shackles to freedom of expression .The censoring on net  ? Not much as my blogging or writing is only a hobby.But deliberate triggering  to make me write on certain subjects  -like religion , secularism and always about minorities , minorities , minorities [which is of recent origin]etc on and on does trouble me.
Regarding third --shackles to my religious freedom--The hindrance to the  peaceful pursuit of my religious belief even within the four walls of my house vexes me , makes me boil with anger , shocks and frustrates me.It acts as a trigger to keep on thinking about other communities viz minorities  and rave and rant about them .I have lived along with them for past 14 years very peacefully without seeing them as any one of them as   higher or lower than me or us  and have started to feel this obssesive attention to thier presence in our flats  only since 2012 and of late , anger at their intrusion into my life specially into my thought process and  my personal religious beliefs .

Regarding the second shackle to my freedom viz shackles to enjoy my property-- my house and my body and mind absolutely without any encroachment and intrusion.This is the worst shackle of all shackles.All my other freedoms will be mine if i  have this freedom absolutely.
The worst technique which is used on me is auditory masking .This  technique is being used on me since 2012 .This technique requires suggestions to my sub conscious and systematic use of sounds to target my ears.I can wear off the effect of micro wave or radio frequency attacks but cannot wear off this  brutal attack on my nerves unless i write down volumes , maybe even crap or talk about my position and rave against the way i am shamelesslly exploited by  my  immediate neighbours and politicians and even media and then receive 10 rs balm and Murugha come warnings

I am re writing the above para as it was deleted by shameless people few minutes back .Shameless becuase they know my pass word and are using it liberraly to censor me.and potray me as a nut..

when i blogged please note that before 2012 the nearby temple used to blare very loudly, songs nearly every day since our stay here since 2002,  though it caused irritation it never made me uncontrollably furious or make me to want write or blog on and on .

few days back i observed my milk vendor after realising the role his assistant plays in this auditory masking with his adoloscent voice similar to a neighbour's wife.He was talking to this boy down below after delivering milk slowly .Few minutes later  he started to talk fast and unintelligbly --literally gibberish.i heard the sound of a plane's take off at this point.his gibberish subsided when the sound of plane was no longer heard.I experienced similar bouts of gibberish spilling out of me in 2015 when i stayed out of blogging a phenomenon that never happened to me before.

The sounds inserted into my head in 2012 may and June have done a damage that seems quite irrepairable .The worst part of this is how people around me who have observed the effects of  decibels  of various sounds on me are taking advantage of this damage very brutally to  make me write or talk and when they have got what they wanted , then cover their tracks by making  me write crap .

In this process i have lost my concentration in translating slokas , Pasurams or explore hinduism to strengthen myself and also to blog it .This suggestion coupled with auditory masking is so all consuming that i have lost my simple pleasures like  walk in quiet street or read good literature or even magazines and watch my favourite channels on tv or see movies without this forcible yen to give words to all my activities and simple  pleasures and write it down like as if i am a paid analyst or journalist  or a poet .

Auditory masking continues.

Since i forgot the exact tittle given to this form of torture i went through my earlier posts to find out the correct name.I remember blogging about it but i am not finding it in my list of posts .Has it been deleted
viz censored ?
When ever i come up on such trifling of my rights i start thinking of my late grandfather and chide him for having forgone a brilliant career in law  for sake of fighting for freedom for our country sacrifcing all his wealth.Why did he do it? It is not in the least benificial to me.It is only helping the corrupts to amass wealth and power at his grand daughter.s expense.And why did he sit day and night for years to debate the constitution clause by clause ?What a waste of his painstaking work! All the freedoms , fundamental ones, he so proudly and  enthusiatically debated and help it all tobe incorportaed in our Constitution .is being denied to his grand daughter. My right to free and full enjoyment of my house without any trespassers was deliberately trampled in 2012 and same state continues till today.There are deliberate knockings on my ceilings as if to goad me on and this is not limited to this state or this locality but is carried on in any other locality or district as well as any state i may visit.What ever i write in my house bought by the honest earnings of my husband aided by the books i buy with his earnings and gather information from the travels he pays for and from the news i see on tv which he has bought and pays for the electricity is being read by all and sundry and is being allowed to be read though i write  only  for myself as a let off at certain times. He is unaware of this day and night robbery of his wife's  'creative talents ' or of its demand .Even if he were to come to know of it in future, he is sure to come up against a stone wall .The netas living off the sacrifices made by my g.f by amassing wealth from govt contracts etc will look down upon my husband and me as worms who donot have even a crore in assets and question our temerity to take on millionares like them who can buy us 10 times over  So much for property rights guarenteed by the constitution which my grand father debated!Irony! But every political leader will swear unabashedly by the constitution on one hand whilst denying the rights it has given to me on the other hand  unabashedly.
 The rights denied to me are--
1.My fundamental right to enjoy my matrimoniol house without any obstruction, hindrance and intrusionsand encroachments.
2.The right to freedom of expression --i cannot even write a diary for myself in my house or speak my mind in my drawing room .Both are censured .
3 The right to freedom of thought--Shame that a person in modern republic of democratic india has to complain about this.But this is what is denied to me ."My thoughts are  policed  and am even punished for some of my supposedly inner most thoughts!" They are even tailored ,as every movment in my house and outside is mapped and auditory masking is employed day and night to make me write . Who ever did this to me and is doing will never hang his or her head in shame but all those who are proud of our democracy , value all the rights and freedom that our constitution gives 100% to its citizens and the system  that  ensures it or is expected to ensure it will hang their head in shame.
4.The freedom to pursue my religion and worship the deity of my sect without any obstacle or hindrance to it.Included in this is the freedom to  to blog or publish books on my religion -Hinduism without ant hindrance
                                   None of them would want to believe this, they would rather be in their comfort zone by consoling themselves that i am  emotionally disturbed .But the denial of my rights listed above  is true.and it is happening to me every day and it could happen to any one next. Which right minded thinking person would have thought that our country would come to such a pass that a free citizens thoughts will be policed and hampered  ?I have written the same thing in 2012 and am writing the same thing now as nothing has changed in fact,policing of thoughts and societel humiliations has become worse after 2014 with constant attempts at conversion and change of sect thrown in

Are those doing this to me jealous or envious of my lineage?on one hand rights for which my freedom fighter g,father fought and won for are denied and on other conversion attempts  could be aimed at demeaning my sri vaishnavaite scholar gg grand father !Had my ansectry been otherwise say a christian scholar or priest or a islamic scholar it would have been hailed and feted and my religious freedom and rights safe guarded by those trying thier level best to make me change my faith and religion. Another irony ! Both great, dead and gone but have left behind enduring legacies .probably my revealing my anscestry proudly on this blog  gave ideas and added fuel to fire. .

                                                                                   Provoking me on and on to make me  write tomes has become a industry and this auditory masking is the most important + the most brutal method to make me write on and on so that vultures and ambulance chasers can feast on my misery .


 ok back to what i wanted to blog.It is about auditory maskings i observed again today.

1. The sound of unloading gas cylinders from a huge truck on to a smaller van in the open space .I was mopping the house now in the morning and felt my thoughts race with anger at all poiliticians .At the nonchalant way in which they read my personal diary and put it to use.Was wondering as to how any one of them can ever command my respect or make me fear thier authority when they are not living up to trappings of their lofty office?  i was tempted to write the raciest observations made by people of various political leanings on thier respective adversaries or even  by followers or by persons who are  just intrested in politics   in my diary and await reactions.
Then i stilled my mind with the memory of my earlier  experience  .Was auditory masking used on me?I let go of my fierce thoughts and listened to sounds around me.Could hear the sound of gas cylinders .being of loaded and on loaded.Usual sound of metal except that it was not done in a ordinary manner .Swift and quick but with too much of gap like as if waiting for my thoughts to end and then make that clanking sound as a trigger to goad me on .It was being orchestered.
Went to the balcony and saw the truck in the same position that during floods boys were made to climb and clap .It is in a angle to my left ears .The small van is the crux as i got to know later.. it was facing south .The man loading his van was looking up at the balcony of my immediate upper floor as if waiting for  a signal.When i stood in the balcony watching that man he gave in and  drove his van so as to face east.Now i couldn;t hear any of that metallic sound though  i could see the man off laoding and on loading the gas cylinders .
This metallic sound never bothered me all these years i have been here . I guess it has started to provoke me only after that stereofonic sound bombarding of my brain /mind was done for 2 whole months in 2012 .
There are other auditory provocations that are being resorted to which i will enumerate.But of all those this is the worst.since the abnormal gaps between the loadings and the worker looking at upper floor for signal  is a clear evidence  , at least to me that my thoughts are being read and they are being provoked or goaded on with such caliberation.Would any person like their thoughts to be read and have it constantly provoked like it is done to participants of debates in some irritating  english news channels at prime time in the privacy and tranquility  of one's house ?  Those on prime time are thier on own accord for self promotion either for self or party but i am being  subjected to such provocations forcibly for self diminishing without any concrete benifits  either materially to me or in  enhancement of my name or power..
2. The creaking opening of the metallic shutters of the petty shop which also in angle to my bedroom but on my right side exactly at 5.30 am either before or at the time of a huge plane with red wings cruising down and then  shutting it at 11 pm .The grating sound jerks me out of my sleep and the closing seems to say goodnight child go to sleep!

3.The cranking of hand pumps .This sound was very companionable before 2012,It assured me of presence of human beings around me dispelling the bouts of loneliness i had and it lulled me to sleep. but now, after 2012  it is keeping me half awake with thoughts criss crossing makes me feeltired the whole day.
4. The sound of bullet motorbikes.It creates nagging pain in my legs and knees .This happens only in my house ,either at bed or whilst sitting in  a relaxed manner.Since it happens only in my house i am not sure whether this sound alone can cause such pains or it requires a ray attack to back it .

 5. Ringing of puja bell .It signals the successful targeting by non lethal weapons on our private parts.An auspicious tinkling has become another source of provocation as it is employed to jeer at our embarresment and annoyance.
6.My neighbour, a woman talking in a shrill voice with great excitement over her cell from her balcony when i am standing on my balcony .As i face northwards watching the street below or the tree ,when i am standing on my balcony her talking loudly from hers assails my left ear and the cell conversation erupts  just before and during a flight which is either taking off or landing.making only a low rumble.So clearly such excited and loud talks are meant to enhance the effect of airplanes sound .

7, The milk vendors assistant or son talking for minute son on end in  such a angle that his screechy adolescent voice hits my left ear as i sit sipping my coffee in the balcony in the mornings.
8. The loud boisterous talking of another neighbour a woman , on our landing so that her voice can be heard in all my room s .
9. deliberate talking by ufr and lfr from down ,again targetting my left ear with their voices .

10 Observed that it is my left ear that is targetted for this auditory masking.

The effect as i have written above is to make me chatter constantly to myself by being two persons at a time arguing for and against or get irritated .The former debate within myself is new of origin that is it dates back only to 2012 and it is a wasteful, tiring, distracting and utterly useless activity.If not for this constant irritating chatter i would have had written and blogged much more meaningfully.It looks like as if it is seen to that i should never delve deep less i come up with pearls of wisdom which would harm everyone around me!So much for freedom of expression!Mine has been systematically squashed.
If my writings are so powerful why is it that nobody has come forward to recognise its influence openly and if it is harmful why not come and tell me directly and ask me stop after showing evidence of its harmful effects instead of trying to disturb and distract me in such inhuman ways?Aernt we open democracy?So why is every one beating around the bush .To me such slyness in dealing with me is a proof of using me on one hand and then at same time trying to smother all that  [all that means --not the details i have given about frankly about how various parts of my body was teased,and tortured and is still being done, but my original views on Hinduism, society,and public affairs ]  which is not useful or embarrasing. Pre- copping is being done on me.

All the above and some more attacks on my auditory  nerves is banned by WHO ,but who cares for who?

The annoying ray attacks are continuing merrily as usual using several scape goats when i shop or walk with twin achievment that of exploiting me on one hand and then portray me as the vamp to all creating revulsion in people around me.

must hand it out to my ray attackers and auditory exploiters  they keep on squeezing  me for my angry retorts , use it in the converse and then cover thier tracks and publisice to the world of my lowly nature!

Donot know if this will be allowed to be published or be allowed to be retained.

whole of yesterday there was no landing sighted from my window .will blog on it later after more observations on this.
On Friday there were landings day and night!

If there were no flights seen it means that auditory masking was stopped  but it could also mean that microwave or rfrays could have been used liberally for some desired effect.

On observing the effects of rays and auditory masking  on me the worst of the two is auditory masking It has removed my mental peace and tranquility and confidence .It is more or less like brain washing

.No wonder it is banned by WHO.It is no wonder that no one would care about WHO in here ,the land of selfish politicians.
Further the very fact that my earlier post on auditory masking has been deleted  proves that i have hit it right and that  it is a torture of worst kind which civilised nations donot use it or allow it to be used on its citizen.
Monday-- 25.7.16--A day of loud Take offs by planes ,very close,many over head , could see the windows clearly.Scarcely any landings.Bullets kept going up and down frequently.

Isn't this illogical?

Back home from a trip re-commenced my morning walks.
Today i noticed that road dividers were laid at two points in the two main roads i had to cross and traverse.Time around 6.30 -7am.when traffic is pretty sketchy but fast.
On way back on the main road walking eastwards i picked up my sari to avoid it getting wet in a puddle of water on the side of the road.Water or drainage let out or overflowing on to the road from nearby hotel.
Immediately i had to jerk my head up as i heard the jarring  scraping of metal and saw  a young motorbike rider who had turned from a street on to my right and taking a curve towards east near the dividers skid and fall down along with his vehicle.It shook me and i stood rooted.
A watchman helped that man  to his feet as also the vehicle and turned to glare at me! That youth wasn't hurt all that much as he soon got on to his vehicle and drove off.
Then what that watchman did was truly illogical.He started pushing the dividers on to the side of the road after  two police vans sped westwards in great speed. 
Since  aman on motorbike had fallen on this spot isn't it logical that those dividers should be in that place.?If it  was a designated accident prone spot then those dividers ought to have been kept there.They had prevented any speeding vehicle from opposite side in running over that youth who skid and fell down.
Instead they were removed !Isn't this illogical? 
                                                                                                                                                              'Did this removal  of dividers coincide with me passing past that zone ?
 

Warning

Vellon varuga Vellon [murugha] varuga[come and protect ] was played loudly from 9 -10.30am today in morning.
Debated whether to blog yet another warning to me,By blogging yesterdays warning i wasn't exempted from the punishment that always follows that warning.Whole of yesterday night felt the irritating prick of mosquitos though there are scarcely any and i had driven out  the few by using a mosquito mat.So it was a deliberate annoyance .

Around midnight i felt a sharp piercing and excruiting pain at the base of my spine and it was timed with the sound of a motorbike driving down the street  N-south in a leisurely pace .I heard the sound from my bed .Punishment like several such as these before when i had quit blogging.
Couldn't sleep whole night owing to mosquito bites of mosquitos that were not physically present to bite my flesh.

I had blogged the 10 rs balm warning yesterday yet i was subject to  a sharp pain and slow torture.Thought it over, is it becuase i didn't divulge the reasons that could have invited the warning and hence the punishment was duly delivered?
.
Which means i will be spared only if i blog all that i spoke in my house.I could feel my temper rise at  the coarse officials who want me to relate every thing i spoke so that they can take credit for chastising me for my thinking  and my views on society and political leaders and project the secular and authoritative credentials of the state.They can be sychophants but what is the need for me to be one?At thier sychophancy i felt my heart harden and swore to myself that i will not divulge the details of what i speak in my house on to my blogs and deprive them of this success and determined to bear the punishments meted out and thus not allow myself to be arm twisted in such a crude manner some what like 3 degree , a watered down variety.My heart warmed at this new found resolve and as it did the irritation and provocations of night before vanished and and also the need to take revenge .

I realised that by divulging what i spoke in the privacy of my house though it is evesdropped, in order to escape the punishments that are dime a dozen these days i am forfeiting my right to the privacy of my house. I have every right like any one else to speak my mind on any one in the privacy of my house  .and if i am going to be punished for not making it public so be it .The right to privacy is very valuable and i am slowly overcoming the arm twisting in myraid ways to deny it to me, like dropping purdah in my own house.Casting my mind back , what were the punishments i received when i ignored the warning and didn't get hystereical about it? Tripping me on  the main road and chipping off my tooth, giving toothaches and severe pains for a very short duration.Met several such punishments that were unbearable and highly sadistic, at the time of convalasing from my major surgeries but now i have regained my health , so why should i allow myself to be arm twisted thus.?

 My determination  not to blog what i spoke in my house increased at the thought and need to reclaim my rights and it was no longer a revenge against those viz- sychophants / beaurcrats / officials , arm twisting me to cough it all.

So i will not blog what i spoke in the morning today to my husband which could have invited this warning.Maybe i will get a night mare tonight  for refusing to forfeit my right to my house , and to the privacy of my thought and speech and views.But i will surely gain back my lost freedom with this resolve.Bit by bit.

If i will be visited with the punishment reserved for this warning tonight even after blogging about Vellon varuga warning then it is pointless to keep blogging or tweeting these warnings  as i am determined to stick to my resolve not to divulge the conversations i have in my house and  thus avoid falling prey to scare mongers and arm twisters who are trying their level best to besmirch  the sanctity of rights of a house holder and house owner .

Warning

Once again received 10 rs balm warning today in the morning at 10 am which was blared from a dark blue maruti van driving up from south and going towards north.