Kaasu maalai----Chain of coins
K.C.Whenever i wore my gold kasu malai ,taken out of the locker and worn for the occasion be it marriage or some other function ,at least one from the gathered relatives or friends would never fail to comment appreciatively on the glittering beauty of the chain .
i wore it occasionally and in rotation with other gold chains and necklaces,It was a gift made to me by my grand mother on my marriage,34 years back,I would wear this chain just before the occasion and take it off on returning home and keep it in the locker of my steel bureau.
I have never examined it closely as i was forced to after my throat constricted in a terrible sharp pain in last few months whenever i wore it and visited a temple.So i put on my reading glasses to examine it . each kasu or coin has Mahalakshmi seated on a lotus embossed in it with the year 1977 etched on the back.
I knew that Lakshmi was embossed ,but didn't know the extent and the numbers and didn't attach too much religious connotation to it .The chain was an ornament to be worn in social gatherings borne out of social norms and customs. We have to wear gold chains or necklaces and other jewels in such occasions.
As i examined the chain so minutely for the first time since i possessed it ,as i linked it my arterial pain [since i removed my mangal sutra under fear and hypnosis after 1 month attack on my brain, with the revulsion put in me that the shining pendant the gold mangal sutra was being used to give me sensual pleasures by total strangers i started getting pains in my throat when i went near gods images even in my house] i wondered how some one else a stranger to me are all so aware of my personal ornaments and are so aware that goddess Mahalakshmi is embossed not on few coins but on all the coins making that chain!A fact that i never noticed till i was forced to do .
If it is an atheist who is targeting me for wearing it such person or persons are seeing and acknowledging that this figure embossed is a religious deity and is giving more importance to this fact than i ever did and is blowing a hole in their atheistic belief's.
If it is by another community it again makes me wonder at their die hard concentration on a deity whom even i remember only when i recite slokas on her and then forget rest of the day.They are therefore more religious minded than i am and are in a way paying homage to a Hindu deity.Whilst i remember the goddess but once in the day they are remembering her presence through out the day ,week and months .They are much more alert to Hindu gods presence in , around and over me than i am!
If it is a Hindu who is punishing me for wearing it i am sure such person or persons will first seek forgiveness from the deity for trivialising her .A silent heart felt prayer and thus enabling me the wearer of the ornament to become the medium for such persons to connect with the deity quite often .
The same goes for my mangal sutra .It was tied by my husband after it was sanctified by slokas chanted in the marriage homam and i have been wearing it ever since,Never discarding it .I divested myself of it very viz in hot midsummer nights in heat wave conditions owing to unbearable sweating in bed rooms that got heated up like oven .And i wore it immediately on waking up .
Some of my relatives use it as a ornament ,like that kasu malai of mine.Wear it for a occasion and then take it of and then place it in a locker . But i never dd it .
I am a sort of woman's libber .Isn't mangalyam a license and evidence of for male domination ? Men have no such ornament to announce their married status. Heard a strange vendudhal or penance from a women who kneaded me thoroughly when i went for ECG check up when the pains in my throat.heart and spine became unbearable.She said seeing my yellow thread and turmeric in place of my gold chain and mangalya pendant that she had put hers in hundi of Sri Venkateswara at Tirumala so that her heart weakened husband could become ok! She said she was also of my caste and suggested that i do the same to save my husband and assured me that he and i will become ok!
I cannot wear too many ornaments and wear only light cottons ,finding additional bangle or two even burdensome in hot weather ,which is all year around that to in non ac conditions and locked up most of my ornaments in locker .But not once did i ever cross my mind to remove the fairly thick gold chain with MS and air my neck.
I had bitter battles with my hub after Vidat's death ,hurling accusations against him holding him responsible for his untimely death castigating him often for not being a proper husband to me and therefore not a proper father and so on for years .but not once did it occur or even cross my mind to remove the MS then.
By removing the MS in one's husbands lifetime ,is said to cause his death.It hasn't yet and i do not believe it either.
{But its removal gave unbirdled license to predators to poach upon me by other communities and sects to force me to switch over to their respective faiths and beliefs .So its removal was clearly engineered to pave the way for others to poach on another man's legal ,religious and emotional tie freely without feeling that bothersome prick viz a twinge of conscience in this conversion attempt over me that was undertaken very seriously in september 2014 with help of rfid that creates a echo chamber within me which receives instructions,suggestions .So its removal affected me more than my hub though my hubs ties with me were being chipped off deliberately .slowly and steadily even when i wearing it didn't open the flood gates in the manner is which its removal did. It became a free for all and i am yet to recover from the damage wrought to me in those terrible days as the flood gates haven't been closed .}----wrote and blogged this paragraph today viz --15.3.16
I suppose it was at that period that the time that my hub does his morning puja and the small rituals like paying obseince to the morn sun,lighting the oil lamp,meditation associated with it were deliberately co ordinated with flights above and motorbikes ,scooters racing down from next block or in the street was done to vibrate my private parts to force discharge and associate it with members of other community and sect who were in driving the vehicles ,with a view to nasty our religious,[maybe including sectarian ] practises.It is still being done.And it is done even if we go to other states be it karnataka or Andhra.
Despite me wearing the mangalyam in MAy 2015 those who have sworn to convert me are still at it .
Yet why is it troubling me for removing it under pshyco logical pressures ,fears and horrors?
It is a token of love ,security and protection .My mother and her mother and all my ancestress in dim past , 100's of relatives and millions of women around me wear it.A long held custom that has got absorbed in our collective psyche.emotions and sentiments.A custom that stregthens marital bonds .
I took the chain and ms which i had placed in a box in my cupboard and examined it .The first time ever in my life i was doing so.It is also our custom that nobody displays the ms .it has to be hidden from others view..It is only to be seen by the husband .There is a legend that Raja Harishchandra's wife recognised him after a long separation because he could see the ms tied by him ,which no man could and which he was demanding as a fee for burning their son in the cemetry he was forced to work.. It is a extremely personal adornment and that explains the horror i felt when i thought it was being used for my delusional control .Hence i never displayed it or examined the etchings ,
The two pendants have namum --the 'u' sect mark that vaishnavaites adorn their foreheads with.This is said to represent the two lotus feet of Mahavishnu.
.
So again if i am being nastied by atheists they have observed this fact more than i have and they are actually having a glimpse of Thiruvadi--every time they do so using the pendant for suitable gadjetry effects like swelling of my heart and creating irritations in my left chest .They must be having x ray vision to see it hidden under folds of saree to pinpoint its location.
Same goes for persons belonging to other communities ,They are having a darshan of Vishnu;s lotus feet every time they are at it instead of darshan of thier gods or holy books or whatever they hold close to their hearets
And if it is a hindu such persons are mentally surrendering to lord of Vaikuntum doing sarnagadhi to Narayana/MahaVishnu .
To me this kasu malai is an ornament to be worn in social functions and the chain with mangayam is an evidence of my marriage and token of husbands love, security and protection and my wearing it without ever discarding it is evidence of my acquisience and acceptance of of it wholeheartedly,despite ups and downs in our life together.Further it is sanctified by religious custom that makes it sacred and invoilable and i have accepted this religious belief without questioning it.
Regarding nastying me that is make me leak and secrete fluids a maya is being created with help of gadjets ,slaking and pshycology that a woman long past her menses cycle is still at it.And that i am visiting temples with periods and am disrespecting the deity within .
Pure illusion, When i was actually in the menses age and cycle when blood comes out and not mucous or water as is being squeezed out of me now ,i never visited temples .But there are women who take bath and attend religious functions or visit temples in midst of their periods .Does any one check them ?
I am not writing this because i want to project myself as holier than thou.It doesnot matter to me as to what other women do or donot do nor am i sitting in judgment over thier personal beliefs and choice..But when i am being attacked constantly for a illusion created externally and skillfully and am heckled for it i am pointing out that which exists in our society and circles .
Today saw the brighter side of it all when the doc yesterday said that my outer wound has healed in my right eye after the cataract operation ,but the inner will take some more time.
That instead of harping and carping on my plight at hands of politicians, or groups or individuals i am seeing today , the bright side of giving them all ,viz believers, non beleivers , hindus, atheists and other communities to be intensly be aware of goddess Mahlakshmi and Maha Vishnus sacred feet when ever it crosses thier mind to tame, control or punish me.Maybe this was going in preceding few years as well of which i was totally unaware of .
And that i am rendering un intentional servise to Hinduism in general in most unconventional manner by bringing in converts and creating faith and deepening faith in hindu gods !
written on 18.4.15--Saturday.
i wore it occasionally and in rotation with other gold chains and necklaces,It was a gift made to me by my grand mother on my marriage,34 years back,I would wear this chain just before the occasion and take it off on returning home and keep it in the locker of my steel bureau.
I have never examined it closely as i was forced to after my throat constricted in a terrible sharp pain in last few months whenever i wore it and visited a temple.So i put on my reading glasses to examine it . each kasu or coin has Mahalakshmi seated on a lotus embossed in it with the year 1977 etched on the back.
I knew that Lakshmi was embossed ,but didn't know the extent and the numbers and didn't attach too much religious connotation to it .The chain was an ornament to be worn in social gatherings borne out of social norms and customs. We have to wear gold chains or necklaces and other jewels in such occasions.
As i examined the chain so minutely for the first time since i possessed it ,as i linked it my arterial pain [since i removed my mangal sutra under fear and hypnosis after 1 month attack on my brain, with the revulsion put in me that the shining pendant the gold mangal sutra was being used to give me sensual pleasures by total strangers i started getting pains in my throat when i went near gods images even in my house] i wondered how some one else a stranger to me are all so aware of my personal ornaments and are so aware that goddess Mahalakshmi is embossed not on few coins but on all the coins making that chain!A fact that i never noticed till i was forced to do .
If it is an atheist who is targeting me for wearing it such person or persons are seeing and acknowledging that this figure embossed is a religious deity and is giving more importance to this fact than i ever did and is blowing a hole in their atheistic belief's.
If it is by another community it again makes me wonder at their die hard concentration on a deity whom even i remember only when i recite slokas on her and then forget rest of the day.They are therefore more religious minded than i am and are in a way paying homage to a Hindu deity.Whilst i remember the goddess but once in the day they are remembering her presence through out the day ,week and months .They are much more alert to Hindu gods presence in , around and over me than i am!
If it is a Hindu who is punishing me for wearing it i am sure such person or persons will first seek forgiveness from the deity for trivialising her .A silent heart felt prayer and thus enabling me the wearer of the ornament to become the medium for such persons to connect with the deity quite often .
The same goes for my mangal sutra .It was tied by my husband after it was sanctified by slokas chanted in the marriage homam and i have been wearing it ever since,Never discarding it .I divested myself of it very viz in hot midsummer nights in heat wave conditions owing to unbearable sweating in bed rooms that got heated up like oven .And i wore it immediately on waking up .
Some of my relatives use it as a ornament ,like that kasu malai of mine.Wear it for a occasion and then take it of and then place it in a locker . But i never dd it .
I am a sort of woman's libber .Isn't mangalyam a license and evidence of for male domination ? Men have no such ornament to announce their married status. Heard a strange vendudhal or penance from a women who kneaded me thoroughly when i went for ECG check up when the pains in my throat.heart and spine became unbearable.She said seeing my yellow thread and turmeric in place of my gold chain and mangalya pendant that she had put hers in hundi of Sri Venkateswara at Tirumala so that her heart weakened husband could become ok! She said she was also of my caste and suggested that i do the same to save my husband and assured me that he and i will become ok!
I cannot wear too many ornaments and wear only light cottons ,finding additional bangle or two even burdensome in hot weather ,which is all year around that to in non ac conditions and locked up most of my ornaments in locker .But not once did i ever cross my mind to remove the fairly thick gold chain with MS and air my neck.
I had bitter battles with my hub after Vidat's death ,hurling accusations against him holding him responsible for his untimely death castigating him often for not being a proper husband to me and therefore not a proper father and so on for years .but not once did it occur or even cross my mind to remove the MS then.
By removing the MS in one's husbands lifetime ,is said to cause his death.It hasn't yet and i do not believe it either.
{But its removal gave unbirdled license to predators to poach upon me by other communities and sects to force me to switch over to their respective faiths and beliefs .So its removal was clearly engineered to pave the way for others to poach on another man's legal ,religious and emotional tie freely without feeling that bothersome prick viz a twinge of conscience in this conversion attempt over me that was undertaken very seriously in september 2014 with help of rfid that creates a echo chamber within me which receives instructions,suggestions .So its removal affected me more than my hub though my hubs ties with me were being chipped off deliberately .slowly and steadily even when i wearing it didn't open the flood gates in the manner is which its removal did. It became a free for all and i am yet to recover from the damage wrought to me in those terrible days as the flood gates haven't been closed .}----wrote and blogged this paragraph today viz --15.3.16
I suppose it was at that period that the time that my hub does his morning puja and the small rituals like paying obseince to the morn sun,lighting the oil lamp,meditation associated with it were deliberately co ordinated with flights above and motorbikes ,scooters racing down from next block or in the street was done to vibrate my private parts to force discharge and associate it with members of other community and sect who were in driving the vehicles ,with a view to nasty our religious,[maybe including sectarian ] practises.It is still being done.And it is done even if we go to other states be it karnataka or Andhra.
Despite me wearing the mangalyam in MAy 2015 those who have sworn to convert me are still at it .
Yet why is it troubling me for removing it under pshyco logical pressures ,fears and horrors?
It is a token of love ,security and protection .My mother and her mother and all my ancestress in dim past , 100's of relatives and millions of women around me wear it.A long held custom that has got absorbed in our collective psyche.emotions and sentiments.A custom that stregthens marital bonds .
I took the chain and ms which i had placed in a box in my cupboard and examined it .The first time ever in my life i was doing so.It is also our custom that nobody displays the ms .it has to be hidden from others view..It is only to be seen by the husband .There is a legend that Raja Harishchandra's wife recognised him after a long separation because he could see the ms tied by him ,which no man could and which he was demanding as a fee for burning their son in the cemetry he was forced to work.. It is a extremely personal adornment and that explains the horror i felt when i thought it was being used for my delusional control .Hence i never displayed it or examined the etchings ,
The two pendants have namum --the 'u' sect mark that vaishnavaites adorn their foreheads with.This is said to represent the two lotus feet of Mahavishnu.
.
So again if i am being nastied by atheists they have observed this fact more than i have and they are actually having a glimpse of Thiruvadi--every time they do so using the pendant for suitable gadjetry effects like swelling of my heart and creating irritations in my left chest .They must be having x ray vision to see it hidden under folds of saree to pinpoint its location.
Same goes for persons belonging to other communities ,They are having a darshan of Vishnu;s lotus feet every time they are at it instead of darshan of thier gods or holy books or whatever they hold close to their hearets
And if it is a hindu such persons are mentally surrendering to lord of Vaikuntum doing sarnagadhi to Narayana/MahaVishnu .
To me this kasu malai is an ornament to be worn in social functions and the chain with mangayam is an evidence of my marriage and token of husbands love, security and protection and my wearing it without ever discarding it is evidence of my acquisience and acceptance of of it wholeheartedly,despite ups and downs in our life together.Further it is sanctified by religious custom that makes it sacred and invoilable and i have accepted this religious belief without questioning it.
Regarding nastying me that is make me leak and secrete fluids a maya is being created with help of gadjets ,slaking and pshycology that a woman long past her menses cycle is still at it.And that i am visiting temples with periods and am disrespecting the deity within .
Pure illusion, When i was actually in the menses age and cycle when blood comes out and not mucous or water as is being squeezed out of me now ,i never visited temples .But there are women who take bath and attend religious functions or visit temples in midst of their periods .Does any one check them ?
I am not writing this because i want to project myself as holier than thou.It doesnot matter to me as to what other women do or donot do nor am i sitting in judgment over thier personal beliefs and choice..But when i am being attacked constantly for a illusion created externally and skillfully and am heckled for it i am pointing out that which exists in our society and circles .
Today saw the brighter side of it all when the doc yesterday said that my outer wound has healed in my right eye after the cataract operation ,but the inner will take some more time.
That instead of harping and carping on my plight at hands of politicians, or groups or individuals i am seeing today , the bright side of giving them all ,viz believers, non beleivers , hindus, atheists and other communities to be intensly be aware of goddess Mahlakshmi and Maha Vishnus sacred feet when ever it crosses thier mind to tame, control or punish me.Maybe this was going in preceding few years as well of which i was totally unaware of .
And that i am rendering un intentional servise to Hinduism in general in most unconventional manner by bringing in converts and creating faith and deepening faith in hindu gods !
written on 18.4.15--Saturday.
posted by K.C. Sujata at
4:44 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home