Attempts and experiments at forcible yet subtle coversion and its abortion.
Woke up feeling fresh and free.Coffee after so long tasted good! [have the drugsstopped being pumped?]
Morning was cool and invited me for a walk and i accepted .
For the first time in a year [it seems like a century] i felt that i was no longer an alien an foreigner. My sense of belonging to this soil ,to the air and people around that i always taken for granted but denied deliberately in all probability in the incessant efforts to mould me in the image of another , a powerful foreign woman-sg ,holding sway over us ,fell apart.
The soil regained its sacredness .The sweet cool fragrant early morning air that had lost its purity regained its spirituality,suffusing me with its freshness.My ability to appreciate flowers blooming on tree tops and to inhale their aroma so as to mildly intoxicate me , returned.
The passerby's were like before.No longer hostile but comforting companionable country men and women.The variety and degrees of their economic standings ,nothing to be gawked at as i had been doing of late.They all merged into the familiar part and parcel of the environment i have been moving around for ages.The midlde aged couple walking with canvas shoes, the maid scurrying off to to some house, a lazy dog curled up at a corner, the vendors the rag pickers, all as common place as before.Nothing to be dissected, pitied, tabulated and shelved for future analysis.The flower seller had reverted to her familiar brisk manner.All of this, what a relief !
As i walked back home i could feel more burdens lifting off my shoulders.I can start enjoying the various festivals and perform the shraddha ceremonies without any defilement by tutored and scared priests,I may not have to witness unorthodox practises in temples i visit by fake or genuine priests ,compelled to tamper with age old practises.The small but painful stabs at the beliefs of my faith under powerful pressure from above ,will no longer be administered.
I suppose that my bedtime story sessions --hypno therapies would also come to an end and my emotions and intellect would be my own
How is it that so many in the know of all thee gross inhuman treatment have been mute spectators? Especially those who profess to be champion of human rights as distinguished by indifferent Hindus who would view all this as a part of my karma?
I a Brahmin woman was forced to live another woman's life, faith, values behaviours and outlook.An christian whose level of comfort rests in a foreign soil.And the reactions i exhibited was adopted by the other to gain political advantage.
Whether madame was privy to this horrific experiment ,as an active collaborator or a mere puppet in hands of crafty diaobolical men maddened with the lust for power, i know .not.Both ways, has wreaked a havoc in my life.
Thanks to my ancestors good deeds , and their deep faith in Santana dharma and the sacredness of this soil , air and water of this great country i was able to extricate myself and renew my connection with the sacred soil sanctified by passage of a galaxy of rishis and acharyas ,borne by mother earth with my entire being.
I am of, from and belong only to this soil.My comfort level has returned .The forced alienation has taken wings.sujata is back.
The expensive, elaborate experiment conducted 24 hours for past several months has failed.
A mere enquiry into the membership procedure of BJP by stepping into the party office has shooed away unabashed encroachers and stray grazers [was celebrating a bit too early it seems today---2.6.13] and has restored my original identity.over night.
Hope the mohini pisasu --she devil that took possession of me for the past 11 months ,has left
date.31.5,13 --Friday
Morning was cool and invited me for a walk and i accepted .
For the first time in a year [it seems like a century] i felt that i was no longer an alien an foreigner. My sense of belonging to this soil ,to the air and people around that i always taken for granted but denied deliberately in all probability in the incessant efforts to mould me in the image of another , a powerful foreign woman-sg ,holding sway over us ,fell apart.
The soil regained its sacredness .The sweet cool fragrant early morning air that had lost its purity regained its spirituality,suffusing me with its freshness.My ability to appreciate flowers blooming on tree tops and to inhale their aroma so as to mildly intoxicate me , returned.
The passerby's were like before.No longer hostile but comforting companionable country men and women.The variety and degrees of their economic standings ,nothing to be gawked at as i had been doing of late.They all merged into the familiar part and parcel of the environment i have been moving around for ages.The midlde aged couple walking with canvas shoes, the maid scurrying off to to some house, a lazy dog curled up at a corner, the vendors the rag pickers, all as common place as before.Nothing to be dissected, pitied, tabulated and shelved for future analysis.The flower seller had reverted to her familiar brisk manner.All of this, what a relief !
As i walked back home i could feel more burdens lifting off my shoulders.I can start enjoying the various festivals and perform the shraddha ceremonies without any defilement by tutored and scared priests,I may not have to witness unorthodox practises in temples i visit by fake or genuine priests ,compelled to tamper with age old practises.The small but painful stabs at the beliefs of my faith under powerful pressure from above ,will no longer be administered.
I suppose that my bedtime story sessions --hypno therapies would also come to an end and my emotions and intellect would be my own
How is it that so many in the know of all thee gross inhuman treatment have been mute spectators? Especially those who profess to be champion of human rights as distinguished by indifferent Hindus who would view all this as a part of my karma?
I a Brahmin woman was forced to live another woman's life, faith, values behaviours and outlook.An christian whose level of comfort rests in a foreign soil.And the reactions i exhibited was adopted by the other to gain political advantage.
Whether madame was privy to this horrific experiment ,as an active collaborator or a mere puppet in hands of crafty diaobolical men maddened with the lust for power, i know .not.Both ways, has wreaked a havoc in my life.
Thanks to my ancestors good deeds , and their deep faith in Santana dharma and the sacredness of this soil , air and water of this great country i was able to extricate myself and renew my connection with the sacred soil sanctified by passage of a galaxy of rishis and acharyas ,borne by mother earth with my entire being.
I am of, from and belong only to this soil.My comfort level has returned .The forced alienation has taken wings.sujata is back.
The expensive, elaborate experiment conducted 24 hours for past several months has failed.
A mere enquiry into the membership procedure of BJP by stepping into the party office has shooed away unabashed encroachers and stray grazers [was celebrating a bit too early it seems today---2.6.13] and has restored my original identity.over night.
Hope the mohini pisasu --she devil that took possession of me for the past 11 months ,has left
date.31.5,13 --Friday
posted by K.C. Sujata at
12:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home