Nam aazhwar.

Srinivasar with His consorts Sri Devi and Bhu Devi at  Srinivasar Temple at Tirumalai

In Sri Vaishnava's long list of Gurparamparai Namaazhwar has the pride of being first amongst the mortals and fourth only to Narayana who is the first acharya and then his consort Sri or Mahalakshmi followed by Visvaksena.
Namaazhwar the foremost Sri Vaishnavaite saint who is said to have clearly enunciated the Sri Vaishnavaite philosophy through his innumerable hymns in Tamil, was born in  agricultural caste in 8 th cent AD in Tamilnadu.

His mind was attuned to the creator since his birth and he spent his short life of 32 years wholly in deep meditation and in pouring forth 1000's of hymns in praise of Narayana as well as condensing the meanings enshrined in the 4 vedas , in poetic Tamil.

Of his4 literary and poetic works viz--Thiruvrittam, Thiru vasiriyam, Periya thiruvandhadhi and thiru Vaimozhi, it is 'Thiruvaimozhi' that is considered as the the elucidation of Sama veda in all its entirety and and is regarded as TamilVedam.
The following are two of his hymns from Thiruvaimozhi.


** Ullan yennil ullan avan  uruvaruvam ivvvuruvugal ullan allan yenil avan aruvam ivv uruvugal ullan yena illan yena .ivvai kunnam udaimaiyil ullan irru thagaimaiyodu ozhivu illan parande'...........(1.10......2683)

Meaning:  If one believes that He is there ! Then everything around  is his body!
                If one dis believes and thinks No he is not there! Then it means that all have merged with him!
     He does exist either in concrete form or in the abstract form and is all pervading!

**அவரவர் தம தம தரிவாரி வகை வகை அவர் அவர் இறையார் யென அடி அடைவார்கள் ,
அவர் அவர் இறைவர் குறைவிலார் அவரவர்  விதி வாழி அடைவனின்றானே *
Awaravar  thama thama tharivari vagai vagai avar avar irraiyvar yena adi adaivargal,
Awaravar irraiyavar kuraivillaar , awaravar vidhi vazhi adaiyaninrane'r.

Meaning:  All the people of this world acting under the dominance of 3 types of nature  --[satvic, rajas and thamas].worship and reach the feet of their choice of god,
The gods thus favoured are without any fault or lacking in divinity,
since they are all ultimately worshipping Narayana along with Lakshmi, who is residing within all the gods thus worshipped!            

                       

ஆழவார் திருவடிகளே சரணம்                                                                                             ..................(.2679)

Speck.

I skirted around a group of youngsters to have a closer look at  the old woman  curled up in the walk way ,as it had grown dark, more quickly than is the normal owing to  clouds massed heavily over the skies that opens at intervals to let out its needle like sharp , the acupuncture variety, that is  at the same time soothing and  piercing , shafts, on and of f in heavy instalments , that had me as well as several others to crowd for shelter under the only cover available , in the park, a plastic dome.over a strip of the footpath.

The woman pulled her cheap cotton saree to cover her exposed toes that made me wonder at my fate at her age.Would i be ignored and abandoned as most old people are like this in a foot path or would it be in a comfortable bed?The latter, if at all ,is most likely .,what  ever be the nature of the surface to hold a tired and spent body , the abandonment is the same.One being public and the other private.

It was precisely at this moment my  purse must have been picked.I didn't know it then , only after i trudged down the slippery roads warding off blinding headlights of vehicles and successfully reached my flat and.
fishing into the bag for the keys to be let in i came a cropper [ to use youngsters slang]

The 3 hours, till mister  who doesn't carry a mobile came home with his key had to be whiled away . Neighbours are plenty,but their houses are as cramped as mine,so preferred the open spaces of the terrace.

So long, since i was with the elements for so long!The huge clouds came together and parted away on and off exposing bright stars and constelllations and then eclipsing them in heavy deluge.

What a speck i am and this speck is being picked upon by other specks to keep this heck of a speck in check!

My resentment gradually  turned to contentment .My discomfiture was giving cheap thrills to some one, let it be.In the process i got  better of the bargain ,to view the majesty of the monsoons in all its raw splendour out there in the open. 

Only 5 Rs.

The tip of the leaves ,that were drooping  with water that was shed by the silent rain of the night before ,shone  in the morning watery sun like as if they were plated with silver by an philanthropic jeweller who had worked all night ,through.
The arch formed by trees on both sides of the street as they met and rustled nudged to do so by  the gentle breeze whispered their greetings to one another and created an intricate lofty dome ,studded with emeralds of all shades intersped with those tiny sparkling  silver tassels .

The early morning sun and the fluffy white clouds in their light blue frame was reflected on a puddle on the street which was not only bordered by lily white long stemmed fragrant flowers but also a few floating in it ,having been displaced from their rightful residence ,the treetops, by the overnight guest.

I paused a moment admiring this fleeting scene and felt cheated of being devoid of my camera to record it.The best shots i often come across are those when i do not have a camera in my hand.

If i did have it and also took a snap would National geographic publish it in the photo of the day? A photo not of those gorgeous uninhabited  volcanic landscapes of Iceland or the greenish northern lights of the wild white arctic but of  only the eternal  regular visitor , the sun  that to not reflected from the unbelievably placid  picture card perfect lakes in unsullied environments  way up North but from a ordinary mundane street , that to in a dirty third world country?

Why hang them even before trying , so my thoughts went when a schoolboy peddled on with a even younger boy seated on his cycles pillion, on the way to the corporation school.
The young boy, fresh and ready for the day ahead with chandan and kumkum carefully circled on his forehead , was advising the older one.
" It is only 5 rs to tighten this creaking chain of the cycle .Why don't you do it?"

The adjective "only ' of the conversation heard in, snatches jarred on my musings.Wasn't it 5 ps in my school days and i was never scornful of the value of so small a denomination. And wasn't that boy from the nearby slums to be too disdainful of Rs 5?

They passed by and so has time.

I am still stuck in the socio economic values and aspirations  of  my younger days ,that of glorification of poverty and excessive emphasis on the virtues of abstinence and self sacrifice to the extent of total self effacement. . That kid showed me that.

Quarantine----Thought for the day.by Neitzsche.

Democratic institutions are quarantine arrangements to combat that ancient pestilence, lust for tyranny, as such they are very useful and very boring.

Thought for the day.

It is usually said that such times of corruption ,are gentler and that cruelty declines drastically, compared within the old stronger age, which was more given to faith.
All i concede now is that cruelty now becomes more refined and that its older forms henceforth offend the new taste, but the art of wounding and torturing others with words and looks reaches its supreme development.
The men of corruption are witty and slanderous, they know of types of murder that require neither daggers nor assault.They know that whatever is said well, is believed.
                                                                        
                                                                                    By Neitzsche ----Philosopher.

Face to face.

Should i or shouldn't i write my diary?11.10 12  Any how ppt's will read it just as i writing it , but write i must.so here goes.
R had another turn and took me along to meet a  specialist who asked him to go easy on breezing through the streets in his scooter since his heart is not up to it.and gave pessimistic forebodings, though he declared that medicines would suffice for now.
As we walked back to meet the general doc after having tiffin in a restaurant right in middle of pondy bazaar whose young accountant's nervousness alerted me to presence of Intel's ,i asked him whether the chap on top is not what he appears to be . He said no.and added that if Intel's --cbi were really after me the fear of this unwarranted intrusion did not show on my face or reflect on my activities , though it has whitened my hair--which he didn't add.

On persistence  he said that if he did turn out to be one he would go file for  criminal offence.
I laughed and said" It is only state that prosecutes a citizen and not vice versa."My mobile must have relayed our talks.But what he actually meant was that if there were sufficient proof that our neighbours were wilfully trespassing into our private space, into our house, he wouldn't hesitate to file a criminal complaint.

Felt generally depressed and R mooning around didn't help.

Read articles  of Asha Bhonsle's daughter Varsha who killed herself few days back, She has the same views as mine but has supported it with extraordinary facts and figures and proves her inherited creative ability as well as the over loading of her brain that  seems to have been in vain and fruitless and could have been a one of the source of deep disappointment,[ i am only speculating] since it looks like as if that there was  no worthwile recognition for such stupendous efforts and boldness from where it should be naturally coming  from,  the political right . Sandeep[,blogger?] had put it in his blog.On further reading of his blogs found out that he is not RSS .Net is a confusing world.

Evening walked up feeling relaxed since not a soul was around in nearby terraces .Heaved a sigh of relief , So the monster had left'.As if divining my wishful thinking an intrusion came up in the form of my plump neighbour who came up panting either due to exertion or in sheer nervousness , of course sent by Charlie to give me company.[ chit chat therapy]What if i jumped off the roof? Wasn't i depressed and that would be the most logical thing to do?So would have mentalist reasoned. So what if i did? That would be peace for all around.Dear mentalist forgets that i am quite illogical  and i am not under any  drugs that would give the courage to do so unless,he has pumped them through the vents slyly, is that why he is anxious?Or was it to ensure that i  actually did ,unable to bear the non stop harrassment?

The way charlie takes care of me day and night ,even my mother wouldn't have even when i was a new born. Previous janma's Karma!

My pleasure punctured ,came down and went through the net. Suddenly toi news on sg's visit and suraiyas article on petty but costly prosecutions flashed through making me connect the dots of the the mysterious goingons in my neighbourhood.and i typed to Charlie 'are u cbi? did sg send u? Am i so important or that dangerous?Come down face me  or answer me or arrest me.Waited when no reply came switched it off.

As i was preparing dinner heard the  ,high pitched  affected sweet caressing and hypnotic voice[ how can a man have such a sweet voice it is sweeter than mine] of who else but the alien , floating up from down below.I decided to have it out.R was away to some drama.so no hassles there.Went to the balcony and kept staring  hard at Charlie's balding head hoping that he would look up.Would he ? No way .Then he started to go inside. I waited at my doorway debating whether he would take a lift or the stairs. Would he lose his nerve?

He didn't .As he came up with some green cards i called him in and asked him to take a seat .He did.I asked straight away "Why are u spying on me?"The consummate actor that he is with a school boy's innocence crossed his heart and said " Me madame?I live on A 9  the secretary of the association, don't you know me?I replied " You know that i know". But he didn't give way and rambled on about the cards.
I said under my breath "You are too smart". A smile like that smirk on that cat that followed him [ pet therapy] flitted on his face, that is all.The cat that followed him ,that black devil kept sneaking  further into the flat and mentalist ran after it to chase it away after taking permission from me to do so.But the familiarity at which he paced my flat was like that of a proprietor  who knows and owns every milimeter of it, the layout of the upper floor he occupies is exactly the same and it is definetly coupled with the fact that of his burning the midnight oil to keep a watchful eyes or rather hypnotic eyes  on us and continue it all day through  as well as devise tricks and theatrics to catch and divert our attentions in the day to come,whilst i the actual mistress of the flat sat benumbed and bemused rooted to the sofa.!. He stuck to his cover and asked me innocently " Don't you watch the TV?I thought 'As if you donot know'. Was it a suggestion to hypnotise me further?And added  ,very chummily that he found my face calm and peaceful .as he watched me from his window on and off ,  and not every second on his cctv as is sure is his regular practise. Another dig! I should have shot back your face looks so funny and strange.but i didn't.

Face to face he is small made, sweet voiced and has dark circles around his eyes. Effeminate with a huge head , obviously bulging with crooked brains.He was both scary and funny.
Scary because  he was being tricky and not straight and i knew that he was noting down my body language and was making  a mental note,which could be"Chee, after all my sweat and toil to make her an confident and strong neta she is as nervous as a mother hen"What a waste of time and energy.God alone can help me".

Funny because he was so alert and jumping around and seemed to be satisfied and pleased with himself like a cat that had its cream.He seemed to bubbling with inner mirth and enjoying a secret joke.Obviously at me .Since he has read all my diaries and has seen me and sees me in my most stupidest moments.

But his dark shadows troubled me. Am i such a tough assignment?Or  was it that , the illegality and unconstitutionality of  this entire operation had rendered it so  shady and shadowy that it is stretching on and on and is therefore taking its toll?I even got angry at ppts for troubling my tormentor --Stockholm syndrome.Why can't they let be? If my outpourings are of a sick mind why bother with them or with me?Good Salman khurshid got it back from Aravind k That man is a ppt as he reads my diary with utmost relish and interest but then goes around calling its writer as well as that crusader , [my younger brother and only protector who has replaced Vidat so very naturally and so very obvious to which i was blind so far since he heads idealistic , pure and angry youngsters who are like Vid and his  friends.,] 'sick'.Serves that minister right.
Ok back To charlie . he baited me with Porur and when i didn't take it he took leave bounding away .

When R came back i related everything . He said that i was praising a useless fellow too much.I replied ' may be in that short conversation he had hypnotised me to praise him ,so that he could get himself a promotion.R laughed and when i said' He is in cbi 'he further guffawed and said ''What a shame for cbi to have this ali.''

When i mentioned the dark circles under my tormentors eyes R said " dont worry you can drop
some money in his bowl when he loses his job and knocks on our door like that cat , so audaciously does."
Come to think of it the mentalist was a bit wary of me .Did he honestly expect me to spring on him any time and strangle his neck as i had threatened him earlier [in my diary at the height of pshycological and phisiological torture meted out  to R in the usual shadowy manner]? He has a very poor opinion of me , and what a thankless job he has  , to stare at me the whole day!

Then the memories of the cruel interrogation washed over me and the fact that he  had brainwashed me to  take un natural interest in Muslim's. to know about them more and to pity them came rushing back and i swore aloud" When modi comes i'll send him packing to a tanni illa kadu--waterless wasteland .At which r said ''Finish him of in an encounter. ''I replied ''No, No, he is half and half that is, a foe as well as a friend, so thanni illa kadu is the maximum punishment  that can be meted out for him.''

Face to face did not elicit the information i wanted but served to lift the gloom that had descended  on me in the morning [with the stark realisation that people i like and look up to never like me and even look down upon me and those on whom i do not invest ,that  much sweat  rush to my  aide and take side with me,] and made me have  a good laugh..





.

Few 'good' people.

If any one deludes oneself that India is a vibrant democracy  let me throw light on the actual form of   rule as it exists at present, as i am experiencing its selfish spinoffs, first hand .

The form of rule is, a very vibrant  and thriving'oligarchy'.The motto being ---

By few people, of few people, for few people.

People includes and means politicians, journos, intellectuals and businessmen.

An verse from Bhaja govindam.

Angam galitam palitam mundam,
Dasana vihinam jatam tundam,
Vriddho yati grihatva dandam,
Tadapi na muncatyasa -pindam!

Bhaja govindam, bhaja govindam,
Bhaja Govindam mudhamate!

Meaning:

Feeble has grown the old man's body,
Toothless his gums  and bald his head,
But there he goes, upon his crutches ,
Clinging firmly to fruitless hope!

Worship Govinda, worship Govinda,
Worship Govinda,foolish one!

This verse the observation  and advise of Adi Shankara' is  from his famous 'Bhaja Govindam' song written nearly 1300 years earlier, in the prime of his youth.

Gol maal.

What is the source of the maal to make this moll ,whole [ostensibly ,but actually is a cover up for  ,unabashed interception of political intelligence [eaves dropping on drawing room conversations employing kgb  torture tactics like ,the constant buzzing sound,reading my writings instantly as i write, through powerful hidden cameras] eg the change in strategy of the old old party in bearding  its  foe in his den and the recent move to bring the disenchanted in the crown of the country to the mainstream]

Is it from a consolidated maal of all political pals or purely from' Mota' maal?

Last laugh.

This smirking  purring cat ,belying its inherent and intrinsic ruthless and adharmic streak had its cream this time round also..second...but short lived.

Let's see as to who has the last laugh.