Why do i blog?
What induced ,prompted and goaded me to blogging was not because it was the' in thing to do' or put forth political adversial view points or to cleanse the system or provide an alternative clean political party,but purely and frankly a deeply disturbing emotion called ',guilt'.
The guilt of turning a deaf ear to my son's ,[who created this blog for me ],plea to write and express my views and went away within a few months to a unknown destination ,never to return.
I just didn't know what to write on a machine that was strange and threatening .But I had to.That drive was and is compulsive and i did treating my blog as a alternative to my diary and as a conduit to the conversations i often had with Vidat , narrating my personal experiences , travel stories and my views . That is how it is.
The comments in the early days of blogging revealed that those reading them were young , my son's friends ,sort of in the same wave length, and acquaintances whilst i was expecting their mothers to read them ! How far away i was from the reality of cyber world .
It scared me --i just didn't want to spoil impressionable minds with my grief and cynicism but couldn't change my ways and wished wholeheartedly that they would tire of me and drop by.
Then i came up with the might of the state and the party in power that has all the resources of this country under its grip ,the power derived from the people and ostensibly in consonance with the constitution and using it to censor my views that were perceived to be critical of its governance and not in consonance with its ideologies. Extremely unconstitutional,overbearing and revealing a paranoid mindset.It irritated me and still does.
It is an irritant [ at times even laughable] but nowhere in the scale i have been already dealt with.My censors may have a change of heart or drop out of the machinery altogether in the flux of political changes and the new dispensation may choose to totally ignore my existence!It is all so temporary and liable to changes unlike my real life situation that revealed to me the inexorable truth that no amount of anger, prayers and pleas can ever change the decision taken by the ultimate dispenser ,There is simply no scope of change of heart or change in that dispensation.
The harsh truth gives me the strength to carry on the conversation with my son,though it may not humour many, despite the various hurdles thrown on my way ,by mere mortals.
The guilt of turning a deaf ear to my son's ,[who created this blog for me ],plea to write and express my views and went away within a few months to a unknown destination ,never to return.
I just didn't know what to write on a machine that was strange and threatening .But I had to.That drive was and is compulsive and i did treating my blog as a alternative to my diary and as a conduit to the conversations i often had with Vidat , narrating my personal experiences , travel stories and my views . That is how it is.
The comments in the early days of blogging revealed that those reading them were young , my son's friends ,sort of in the same wave length, and acquaintances whilst i was expecting their mothers to read them ! How far away i was from the reality of cyber world .
It scared me --i just didn't want to spoil impressionable minds with my grief and cynicism but couldn't change my ways and wished wholeheartedly that they would tire of me and drop by.
Then i came up with the might of the state and the party in power that has all the resources of this country under its grip ,the power derived from the people and ostensibly in consonance with the constitution and using it to censor my views that were perceived to be critical of its governance and not in consonance with its ideologies. Extremely unconstitutional,overbearing and revealing a paranoid mindset.It irritated me and still does.
It is an irritant [ at times even laughable] but nowhere in the scale i have been already dealt with.My censors may have a change of heart or drop out of the machinery altogether in the flux of political changes and the new dispensation may choose to totally ignore my existence!It is all so temporary and liable to changes unlike my real life situation that revealed to me the inexorable truth that no amount of anger, prayers and pleas can ever change the decision taken by the ultimate dispenser ,There is simply no scope of change of heart or change in that dispensation.
The harsh truth gives me the strength to carry on the conversation with my son,though it may not humour many, despite the various hurdles thrown on my way ,by mere mortals.
posted by K.C. Sujata at
8:31 PM
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